What is up, peeps?! I am back up again and I must say it has been a very vindicating to get back to blogging. It has been a great process of opening up, letting go and ranting that has me feeling great like I did in 2007-2008 when I was using the blog as an outlet to let things fly and let them go. Stopped doing that for a while and some of you know the asshole that I became. Never going back again, peeps.
So yesterday I talked about some quotes I have used that I live by. While at work this morning (PANCAKES! FUCK YEAH!) I was talking to some co-workers and after some prodding we got into a discussion about how some awkward things have been said to me in my life from the opposite sex. Now I will admit that a lot was justified because I am kind of a jerk sometimes. That being said, they really helped me learn a lot about my dipshittery and I will share them with you now. So I give to you…
Things My Momma Didn’t Tell Me…
The Best Lines I Have Ever Heard About Me
You Are Too Self-Absorbed To Care About Being Dumped
Well, this is a complete counter to the next statement but I put this one first because at the time I really think I was. If anyone out there remembers me in 2006 when I heard this, my GOD was I a total asshole. I am surprised the friends I still had didn’t try to break my face because I was out of control. So then I understood that statement because I was more concerned about myself than anyone else which makes it hard to logically care about anyone. Mostly, I had no idea who I was or what I was looking for and I have said it many a time on this blog that if you don’t know yourself you can’t really know anyone else. And I was so concerned about me and my own ego (Once again, get a few drinks in me and I open up like a Thai hooker during shore leave) that I really WAS too self-absorbed to care about being hurt which was actually awesome because those times were FUCKED UP and had I not been so selfish I may have ended up being an emo punk bitch:
…more than I am now. So this phrase WAS true at the time. Oh, FUCK YOU BITCH! Yeah, I said it.
Why Do You Try So Hard To Be Liked?
Like I said total opposite of the first statement but very true. I always said that no one will ever love me for me so might as well just be what they want me to be because it’s easier to make friends that way. YES I KNOW THAT IS FUCKING SAD BUT BEAR WITH ME! We WILL make it to the fireworks factory. After a while I realized that I spread myself thin taking time out to interact with people I didn’t really have anything in common with or even feel like offered me anything in return. Hence a lot of burnt cycles. Ouch.
You’re Unfunny.
First off, I may not be a grammar king but I didn’t know “unfunny” was a word. It must be because she said it but at the same time…I AM FUCKING HILARIOUS! As a matter of fact, I am willing to say this with complete confidence:
I AM FUNNIER THAN JESUS
There, I said it. Take THAT bitch! I am funnier than the son of GOD! Mostly because it’s hard to tell jokes when you can’t hold a microphone. ZING! I AM ON IT LIKE PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY ON A WHOLE WHEAT ROLL! Sorry, Grizzle…I had to.
You Don’t Listen To Me.
Well when I have heard this it was usually because of these three things:
1. I don’t care
2. You aren’t saying anything relevant
3. Rain Is on
AND RAIN HOLDS PRECEDENT! Honestly, I hate it when anyone says that to me because I am always listening to anything that anyone says no matter how irrelevant or annoying. You know who you are and yes I am talking to you. Now I cannot defend myself on this one from the standpoint of those who have said it (Well…two but that is two too many IMHO) I can say that listening is hard for someone when the person speaking wont say anything relevant. I know that that sounds mean but at the end of the day, I am solutions oriented. I thought about it and both people in question would say things like “I just wanted to vent” and that is fine for catharsis but if it’s the same thing…over and over again…with no process to CHANGE THE SITUATION SO YOU WON’T BITCH ABOUT IT…then no I won’t listen because I am sick of listening to it. Sorry, that’s just how I think. Don’t come to me with a problem without a solution because then you are just complaining. If you need to vent that is fine but you better get over that shit once you do because if you bring it to me again…
RKO, BITCHES! Randy Orton = WIN.
Oh, there are so many more but I am on the tired end so I am about to head out. Stay up, peeps.
Chachi Out
