Friday, March 17, 2006

M for Mmmmm, Padme

First off, sorry about no update yesterday. I had to fly to Phoenix and I must say, it is a lovely city they have there. It was the second time I have been, but this time i spent a few hours roaming around and it was rather cool. Except for one thing: why in the fuck is the speed limit 65?! Jesus, if your state has a speed limit under 70 your governor needs to be punched in the breadbasket. I rented a Dodge Charger (if you don't dig the Hemi, you don't have any alpha male in your system) and i couldn't even really get it pumped. Jerkasses.

Also, about kids on airplanes: shut the hell up. Seriously. And parents, don't act like your kids aren't bugging other passengers or that it is 'cute' that they are inquisitive. I was this close to yelling 'this midget is with Hamas!' just to see everyone flip out and beat the little fucker. Odds are the dump teenagers infront of me would have asked me if it was lo-cal. You know, teenage girls may just be the most vacant inhabitants of this planet not named 'George Bush' present readers excluded. I mean humor is one thing, stupidity is another. No one cares that Heath Ledger is SOOOOOO hot because he SOOOOOO can't act and SOOOOOO needs to be anally violated by a cactus. And never ask to meet the pilot unless you are ready to get punched by the air marshall, I don't care how old you are. It wasn't all bad. Had dinner with a complete stranger, too. Nice lady, but taken. Eh, what can you do. Oh, and Phoenix is big on the 'Anti-Minger' legislation. There were none there, as they were replaced by fit womens. Respect.

So, I got out of 'V for Vendetta' a few minutes ago and.....that was the movie of the year so far. Keep in mind it has been a shitty year for movies (until Ice Age 2, fool!) but I really liked this movie. I don't remember the graphic novel very well (I read it in Italy so that was a spell ago) but from what I remember it was faithful as it could have been without Alan Moore being a part of it. It didn't seem too drawn out and never seemed rushed. Hugo Weaving (Agent Smith from the Matrix, who has been in almost every great movie in the 2000's) did a great job as V and....well...Natalie Portman was damn fine. She needs to eat something, but damn. Even the bald head thing was kinda sexy. Like Ridley in Aliens 3, but a lot better movie. All in all, it is well worth your money. Especially since Thank You For Smoking ain't out in Colorado. So Colorado will show Brokeback Mountain, but won't show that? Smokers really are oppressed. The Revolution is with you, smokers! Fags are cigarettes, too! Let both be free to do as they choose!

So in more Tom Cruise douchbaggery, it seems that he supposedly strong armed Paramount/Viacom/Satan's Anus into pulling the Scientology episode of South Park. Here is a clip:

You know, I saw that episode and downloaded it, and that shit was funny. You know why? Because Tom Cruise is gay. Not just gay, SUPERGAY. I'm not concerned about Scientology jokes because its not even a real religion. If on judgment day if it happens to still be true, book me a one way ticket to Detroit because there is no fucking way I want to spend eternity with Tom and John Travolta. As far as I am concerned, its like suing a TV show because they say there is no Santa because he (like Xemu and anyone else in Scientology and religion as a whole) are fictional characters.

The episode is funny because Tom Cruise is such a tool about his rep. When someone says I'm gay, it doesnt BOTHER ME. Why? Because I know its not true, and that is all that matters. That and the whole Johnny Depp thing. If he just wants to protect his reputation, that is fine. However, there have been several actors/actresses that have handled personal attacks by just telling them to fuck off rather than suing everyone because you don't have a snappy comeback.

You know what is confusing? Tom Cruise has the most blockbusters (100 million+) movies of all actors and yet, no one considers him a top-flight actor in terms of talent. The few movies that I have seen Tom in, he is Tom Cruise in EVERY film. The man has less depth than Keanu Reeves. That's right, I said it. At least Keanu plays the same role in every film (brooding, silent type that acts with his actions) because he is CAST as the same role in every film. Tom Cruise has played a variety of roles....as Tom Fucking Cruise. From Far And Away to Mission Impossible to The Last Samuari (would actually would have been great if he weren't in it) to....um...think think think....Top Gun he is they same guy, but those are four different roles from FOUR DIFFERENT FUCKING ERAS! The only movie I can think of that he was decent in was Born on the 4th of July, but that was more subject matter than his acting. Tom hasn't won an Oscar, but he hasn't had that Samuel L. Jackson (A Time To Kill, Pulp Fiction) or Johnny Depp (Neverland, Pirates of the Caribbean) or even Leonardo DiCaprio (The Aviator, Titanic) performance an they all deserve Oscars more than him. Feh, what do I know?

So, on to happy news. I finally found M-Flo's live Beat Space Nine album. For those of you who don't know who M-Flo is, I am not completely sure myself. I THINK that it was Verbal (kind of a DJ) M-Flo and Vanessa, but she went solo and now its just the two dudes. They make beats like Pharell from the Neptunes and usually do duets. I had Taste Your Stuff with Bennie K and Love Bug with BoA (I LOVE YOU, GIRL!) live videos on and they kicked ass. The album rules all, as it's a double album and all live. I ask you that is you have any like of j-pop, j-urban or hell just good music to give it a try. I have for you So Exclusive with Sowelu. Those of you who have seen Full Metal Alchemist know her, as she did the 4th (last) ending for the show. For the ladies, it's a great dance ditty and for the fellas, Sowelu is HAWT.

Yeah, catchy little tune. Oh, and I told you she was a nice lady. Check this out.

So, it's almost over. The Finals of Douchebrawl will begin at Midnight! Tomorrow will see the beginning of the Ultimate in Douchebaggery. Will it be Tom or Fiddy? Heather or K-Fed? Only you can decide! I want to thank all of you for voting and the next great idea is coming soon! Stay tuned for that, I hope you will like it.

Oh, damn I almost forgot it's St. Patricks Day. And....I coulnd't give a rats ass. You know, I wonder who would win in a drinking contest: a Pirate, an Irishman or a Viking? Wow....Cosmic. I don't think we will ever know the answer to that one. Anyway, I thought this was funny:

Happy St. Patrick's Day. everybody!

Well, I'm about to grab some food. Stay up, peeps the results of Douchebrawl will be announced tomorrow morning. Until then, check this out. Almost makes me like Naruto. ALMOST.

Chachi out.