What is up, peeps! I am back for a quick update before the final few days of 2008! There are a few things I want to bring up right now:
Congratulations, Falcons!
As a Falcon fan, I am very happy about this season. Even as optimistic as I was, I never thought that these guys would rally together like they have and pull off what they have done. They came one bad New Orleans defensive read of being NFC South Champs which is a lot more than any Falcons fan thought. Hell, many of us thought they would be bumped down to a Big East Conference team. And STILL finish 4-8. Instead, we got arguably the most offensively sound (Few sacks, until recently few turnovers) in the NFL combined with a defense that seemed to stop people at pivotal moments when teams of our past would have ran away and said “HE’S COMING RIGHT FOR US!” while they ran up and down the field. Rookie QB, rookie coach, career backup running back and a malcontent wide receiver equals one of the biggest team chemistry and team rebuilding turn-arounds in sports history. People who aren’t fans do not understand how the collective hearts of the Atlanta Falcon fandom sank when Mike Vick walked into that courthouse as we watched video of him blatantly lying to his fans on draft day about his participation in dogfighting. When Bill Parcells said not no but HELLS NO to becoming the leader of the Falcons franchise to go to the DOLPHINS THAT ONLY WON ONE DAMN GAME showed how badly this franchise had fallen. Even the staunchest fan turned their backs. I was one of the most skeptical fans out there, seeing my favorite team go through so many shifts and changes that it didn’t even look the same. They let go of Warrick Dunn (A personal fave) DeAngelo Hall (Who could eat my ass) and Alge Crumpler (Who ate everything in sight…no offense) which pretty much gutted the team. Then…something happened. Matt Ryan, a guy who called “talented but man is he prone to fuckups” stepped in and didn’t fuck up. He actually played well. The Falcons began to win and dammit it felt good. Real good.
So today I look forward to the Falcons in the playoffs for the first time without Mike Vick in over a decade. I honestly thought this day wouldn’t come for three years or so but here I am totally looking forward to next Saturday’s playoff game. I am more of a closet sports fan (I can only discuss it with Rick for the most part) but today I am happy to say I am proud of my team. Great job, guys. Great job.
I Have A Dream…Of A New Holiday!
Okay, so I am sick and tired of there being that lull after New Year’s Eve until Valentine’s Day. Mostly because I haven’t had a good Valentine’s Day since 2006. However, I think it is time that we as Americans rally around a new holiday. It is a day that is overdue for a mascot and even a festive food choice. I bring to you the new major celebrated holiday…
MARTIN LUTHER KING JR DAY
Yes, before you hippies start your blathering I know he already has a day. What I mean is make Martin Luther King Day the next Christmas. Not in terms of the Jesus ridiculousness. I mean we should have Martin Luther King Day cookies and cakes! They will ring with the delicious taste of freedom and equality! Much like Christmas has eggnog, MLK Day can have Swirl Milkshakes! Taste the racial equality and refreshing, frosty taste of vanilla and chocolate mixed together! Oh, and I know some of you assholes were thinking I was going to say orange drink or something and for that I hope you get raped in the face…racist jackass. We should have a Santa Claus-like mascot! Martin Luther King delivers justice to all the good White and Black boys and girls (No Mexicans. You have Cinco De Mayo AND that creepy Day of the Dead thing that no one knows but you. Besides, Mexicans + Corona + tejano music = a holiday ANYDAY!) of America…and he gives out CD’s of Curtis Mayfield and Marvin Gaye! Why? They are fucking awesome and if you don’t think so you should be whacked in the babymakers. You could even sit on MLK’s lap at the mall and tell him what you want for MLK day! Of course, don’t ask for separate but equal because you will catch a hot one to your domepeice.
Top it off with some MLK Day carols and we will be all set! It would be the greatest day ever! Could you imagine the Charlie Brown MLK Day Special? It would look a lot like this:
See, already better than Christmas! So join me on Martin Luther King Day in celebrating his contributions and shaking it like a Polaroid picture while drinking phosphates and ringing out in his familiar chorus! HEEEEEEEEYYYYYYY YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
Well, I will be back this week. If you have any questions for the Omnibus let me know them know because I will be working on it on Tuesday. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
