So I just spied this on Yahoo and thought it was HIL-AIR-EE-US!
Four Ways To Know If Your Man Will Cheat!
Yeah…no.
Predictor #1: His Background
If your man seems to have sailed through life without ever hitting the rough waters that rock the rest of us, beware. Privileged chaps tend to suffer from a sense of entitlement (read: bratty-boy syndrome), so he may believe that the rules don't apply to him. He's so used to getting what he wants, why should he stop now?
Hmm, this is a very interesting thought process. Aside from the fact it is generalizing men (Something women demand WE don’t do of them but they do all the time of US) it also brings in a certain aspect about the gender bias that women never fight because it is in their favor. Why is it okay for a woman to always demand SHE gets what she wants and it is normal. If a man fights for anything, he is seen as selfish. Or at least a jerk. Don’t even get me started on entitlement because the only people that think they are more entitled to shit they didn’t earn aside women (Harrison Ford, anyone?) are Black people. Yeah, I went there. As for rules, not only do women feel the rules don’t apply to them they seem to make them as they go along. Dealing with women in anything aside from a swift pop to the mouth is like playing Calvinball without the fun. W00T! Calvin and Hobbes reference! I honestly understand the process behind the statement because I have seen dudes that act like it is a privilege for women to be around him because…I really don t know but hey, if that is your swag then you got it like that. However, women act the same way (Actually worse) and we as men are expected to take it. All the power, none of the responsibility.
Predictor #2: His Career
• Does he work mostly with women?
• Is he always logging in late hours, whether it be at the office, at dinner with clients or on business trips?
• Does he make a lot of money?
It's great to date a guy with ambition -- and his deep pockets definitely don't hurt when he brings you pricey baubles -- but the office environment can open the door to private meetings of the carnal kind. According to Glass, studies show that when men cheat, it's most often with a work colleague. "Not only are people with similar interests side by side on a daily basis, but the time they spend together is usually when they're most energetic and look their best."
God…read that first line. Am I the only person that is beginning to think that Ike and OJ had it right…and left cross? As one that kind of lived this let me explain something to women right now: it isn’t uter-you, its UTER-US. Let me explain. If you are dating someone then USUALLY it is a partnership and he does what he does to bring home in some way or form the fruits of his labor to you. So what I don’t get about this is the fact that women will stay with a man for the money if his career is profitable enough. Also, take my word for it on this one too: dating at work usually ends poorly. I mean, if Monica and Bill couldn’t find love in the White House then what make you think your boyfriend/husband and his co-worker will? Also, any man that thinks that fooling around with a co-worker is a good idea is a dipshit. And I am their leader with a gun and flag. Yep, I was a dumbass and I speak from experience. Again, I understand the concern but just because he is working late and happens to have female co-workers doesn’t mean he is fucking her. Blowjobs are the sexual act of choice at work. Oh, that was your eye, baby! GIGGITY!
Predictor #3: Smoozing
• Can he talk his way out of anything (parking tickets, rolling into work late)?
• Does he make an effort to charm everyone -- your coworkers, your older sister, a saleswoman?
• When you go to parties, does he insist on making the rounds?
Your friends and family love him, and he always manages to keep you entertained. How could you not adore him? But according to Glass, sweet-talkers often have a deep need for approval and thrive on attention. So what's wrong with dating a really friendly fella? Well, sometimes a smooth operator's need for the spotlight can't be satisfied by one woman's ego-stroking. And if he's suave with the ladies, opportunities undoubtedly arise. "Charmers meet a lot of women and win them over easily," says Aumiller. "So even if his intentions aren't more than friendship, they might be willing to move beyond friendship, and that's hard to resist."
Okay, I will admit this can be deceiving. Having to talk to a lot of high-level (Read: DOUCHEBAG MCGEES) and meet with them now and again in my jobs I learned to talk the talk. Which means that you have to have the “Honkey Laugh” and of course be charming to the point you want to beat yourself with a meat cleaver in the balls to counteract the pain of being a douchebag to close your big deal. So ladies, sometimes it comes with the job, we don’t WANT to be a smooze but it come with the territory. Just like when you date a boxer he might just punch the shit out of you. Or any man on drugs for that matter. They will usually fuck your ass up if you stop them from getting their 8ball.
Now as for making the rounds at parties. I for one hate people so it is beyond me why I am so skilled at this but I can be really approachable and a great listener when I don’t give a fuck. If I don’t know people at a party I will usually (READ: USUALLY) try to talk to everyone. Even female because if you don’t they think you are a dick. However, if you do you end up in the category that this article places you in: a player/flirt. I think that women still believe that when a man is talking to you that he is offering dick. First off, it aint all about you. Since I know if I don’t talk to someone I will end up snapping I don’t mind talking to another woman. Besides, what do I have to lose when I will never see your dumb ass again. Now I ran into this a few times when at parties I would make rounds and talk to everyone (including women) and even though it WASN’T in a sexual or come-hither manner my date took it that way or (EVEN WORSE) the women I spoke to took it that way. Which now has to switch the light back onto the women, here. Are women so simple as to be wooed by simple conversation (BTW, the answer is yes) to the point that either they are enticed by a taken man or fly into a rage when their boyfriend/husband does it? Now I for one on the flipside DIDN’T flip out and I totally should have because that was her ex (We live, we learn) but at the end of the day, there is nothing wrong with being cordial and women need to understand that (Opening a door for you doesn’t mean we want you to open your legs for us. Hard to accept I admit). In some cases I have to agree with this one because there is a thin line between being a people-person and being a whore. It usually involves anal.
Predictor #4: His Friends
• Does he usually hang out with a crew of mostly single guys?
• Do his friends encourage him to join them in just-for-men activities?
• Do his pals have problems staying in relationships?
The nightclubs, the bachelor parties, the dudes-only deeds we're better off not knowing the details of -- it's enough to make any woman worry just a wee bit. Although boys-will-be-boys, bonding time helps a committed man feel less, well, trapped, the appeals of bachelorhood may make him long to be a free agent. A recent study of 37,000 men and women showed that when guys see those around them splitting from their significant others, it tends to encourage them to do the same."
Okay, this was always funny to me. First off, for the majority of my life I have had my female friends outnumber my male friends because the only manly things I like are football and kicking puppies. You won’t see Rick going to Bed, Bath & Beyond with me. That shit is gay and we both know it so we don’t go together. Even when I DO go out to the clubs (And it has been a minute), very rarely do I go out of my way to converse with women. If conversation happens then I am not going to say “BITCH, BACK OFF! I’M TAKEN DEVIL WOMAN!” but I am not going to see if I can get her to let me in her gullyhole. For the most part (Aside from my bro and Black friends) when I go out, I hang out with the people I left with and we mingle with some others that come off as non-douches. I think that judging someone by their company is stupid. I mean, there are a lot of you women that have really slutty friends that are down to fuck any dude with the common sense to know that women love Long Island Iced Teas more than H2O and yet you say “oh, I don’t flirt like SHE does” when we all know that shit is false. Flashback, my bad. Oh, and some of you reading this ARE that slutty girl and to you I say great job. Whores like you keep dumb niggas and bros buying drinks and keep the economy moving. Whores are the REAL heroes.
Quite simply this last one has merit, just like all of them. As usual, it’s the REASON that is lost. And the reason for the season is pleasing! That and I like reading these. They are funny, just like Fox News. Well, I am out because I have to fucking work tomorrow like it is fucking communist Russia or some shit. I will try to be up tomorrow night and I think I will finish up the 2008 Chachi Music Awards Nominee Special on Sunday after the Falcons/Chargers game. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
