CHACHI’S YEAR IN REVIEW OMNIBUS!!!
Let’s get this party started right!
Question #1: What Was The Biggest Story Of The Year?
Wow, that’s a doozy. Well if you mean the biggest story all around I would have to go with the Virginia Tech shooting in April I think. As I said in my blog about it, there becomes a point where senseless violence is just sadly way of life and to become consumed by its disturbing effects will just tear you down. As much as I am for all the rights we have, the fact is that guns have two fucking purposes:
• Changing channels (ELVIS RULES, BITCHES!)
• Killing things (People, animals or as Richard Pryor proved cars)
With that being said, life is what it is as painful as it is…you have to accept it. People will be stupid and some people believe that hurting others will make their pain stop or they theygain pleasure by causing others pain and grief. Now I made many Korean jokes about the massacre at the time (and still will, personal reasons) but the fact is that violence is and will be here (by here I mean America so man up and deal with it) and while being accepting of it doesn’t lessen its’ impact emotionally, it does prepare you to cope and come up with a solution for said event that happens. Quite simple, coping and fixing is all you can do because bitching about gun laws and safety won’t help. Too many rednecks and conservatives love their guns and follow the laws like radical Islam follows the Quran (Odd, they should actually get to know each other because they both have a lot in common by being fucktards) so they aren’t going anywhere. Like I said before danceoffs fix ALL :
Pretty much between the US and A, Korean, Japan and India. I give the advantage to India and you know why. Look up “crazy Indian dance” on YouTube. I’ll wait. Told you, they are the global superpower of getting down. Anyway, the Virginia Tech was the biggest story of the year in this country as a whole if you look at it in terms of significance although it wasn’t the one that effected me the most emotionally.
Question #2: Okay, Candyass. What Was YOUR Biggest Story Of The Year?
Two words. A first name and a surname. A name that it hurts me to say with each breath because of his heinous act. I looked up to this man with everything because he showed me that with hard work and struggle you can achieve your dreams. He made me believe in a sport that I was throughally disgusted with at the time. When tragedy hit his circle in 1999, I cried along with him. When he won his first championship with his best friend on the grandest stage of them all, I cried with him. I followed his career for as long as I can remember and as lame is it sounds he is one of the few atheletes I looked up to. Hell, typing this is almost bringing me to fucking tears and I NEVER FUCKING CRY BECAUSE I AM A MAN, BABY! No, it’s not Michael Vick (But more on his stupid ass later). It’s…
Chris Benoit
Yes, I am a wrestling fan and have been since birth. Living overseas kind of does that because you get a lot of IWGP and Catch Wrestling Association (BIG VAN VADER, FOOL!) is I saw a lot of Benoit. When I first heard he no showed the pay-per-view I honestly thought the worst. Not going to lie to you, I did. The man was a total professional at work and (I thought, anyway) his personal life. He came to Denver and Colorado Springs I believe twice and both times I didn’t get to go because I can’t go to a wrestling event by myself and no one aside from Griff that I know likes wrestling. Either way, before what happened with his family I EASILY had him in my Top 7 wrestlers of all time. If not the Top 5 if I base it just off wrestling and not charisma and the total package. He was awesome in the ring and if you like wrestling it would be to easy to see why he was so respected by fans and peers. However, it is obvious the man was not mentally stable and he needed help. People like to blame steroids (which is not impossible but highly un-fucking-likely) but the fact is that that his life was going bad and he picked a cowardly and violent way to end it for himself and his family. It is a shame because you couldn’t find anyone out there that had a negative word about the man, fan or peer. Now, no one will even acknowledge his presence (Vincent Kennedy McMahon, I am looking at you but rightfully so. He is in an awkward position) and when they do much like me, it is in distain or confused rage. We will never know why it happened, but we know what happened. Based on that, Chris Benoit will never be looked at the same, especially by his biggest fans. Rather than an idol, he will be looked a (tragically) as a monster who could not handle the stress of his life and the (rumored?) crumbling of his family situation and took a disturbing way out and to his innocent family with him. *sigh* These are my heroes.
Enough with the sad stuff, the bus is going to happy town!
Question #3: What Was The Best Moment Of The Year?
WICKED!
Without a fucking doubt! Well, the first time I heard Abingdon Boys School’s album is a close second and The Little Mermaid: A Pre-Broadway Engagement comes an even closer third (2/26/2008 is the release date! Mark it down!) but man…I had wanted to see Wicked for I believe three years before I finally got to go. I was going to go in 2005 but that fell through because I was NOT spending $175 on a ticket. Fuck that. I didn’t get tickets in 2006 because I don’t think they were here and in retrospect I was too busy being a sniveling bitch to care. So this year I got ticket hella early (and STILL didn’t get hella good ones) but I was in a box which was AWESOME! After hearing the soundtrack every day on my iPod when I didn’t have to reformat it and borrow the CD from Zach again I was totally ready for this. And I went….and it was better than everything I ever dreamed of. Even better than sex with a white woman. It was fan-fucking-tastic. While I am on the kick…Kristin Chenoweth is fucking HAWT:
There goes my 40 year old woman thing again. Eh, fuck off it’s what I likes. Man of extremes, as long as its legal its G2G. Either way, Wicked was the best moment of 2007 for me. Although….The Little Mermaid did have “She’s In Love”:
Even in poor quality, that was bad ass. Now where were some other kick ass moments in 2007. Here is quick rundown:
• Barry Bonds breaking the homerun record (You reap what you sow, baseball. Fuck you)
• “One Shall Stand, One Shall Fall!” (God…I nearly lost my shit at the end of Transformers)
• Sebastian the Crab (Tituss Burgess) pretty much owning “Under The Sea”
Fuck YES!
• Devin Hester owning the Broncos. My god, I was watching at Good Company and man that dude is electric.
• Ichigo vs. Grimmjaw Jaggerjaques I, II & III. If you haven’t seen Part III, it is well worth the wait to see it in the anime but if you can’t wait, check out the manga.
• Benny Lava! I know that isn’t his real name, but by any name it means bad ass:
• Maximus Gloriosus! “A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum” is better live than it is listening to it on the way to Dave & Buster’s with Niklas and Nolan.
• THIS….IS….SPARTA!!!!!! Nuff’ said.
• The second season of The Sarah Silverman Program. I don’t think she is all that funny, but she stepped her funny up for the second season. Abortions? Abortsia? Priceless!
• The Bi ”I’m Coming Tour DVD”. My god….HAWTEST DVD EVER.
• Boondocks second season. Could do without Riley using the n-word every other word but man…sometimes you gotta let it burn:
CAR!!!!
Overall, nothing tops Wicked although Abingdon Boys School and The Little Mermaid really tried to. And start watching “Pushing Daisies” you worthless fuckers! I am sick of the only good shows on TV being cancelled because people are too busy watching shit like “I Love New York” and “Lost”. You should be shot in the face. Kristin Chenoweth should be enough to make you watch:
In the famous words of Ron Burgundy…go fuck yourselves America. Go fuck yourselves hard for not watching good TV.
Can I get a whoop-whoop?! Because the bus is moving on!
Question #4: So, What Are Your REAL Feelings About Mike Vick?
Fuck him. Not prison rape style; that is inevitable. I mean as a fucking person. You know, the moral aspect of killing dogs goes on a per person basis. How I feel about dog fighting is that it is illegal. That is it. So should yours, PETA needs to be fucking eaten by polar bears. Ethics, unless it comes to peeing on minors, are all bullshit because they change depending on what a person feels is right and wrong. I proved people are inherently stupid (Americans mostly but it fits for everyone) so that means that ethics are stupid. I rule, you suck. It’s good to be me. That being said, Mike Vick lied to the fans and lied to the law. That is it. He was charged with a crime, said he didn’t do it, saw the evidence and then came clean. People do that shit all the time. Fuck them, too. He lied and broke the law and that should be the end of everyone’s issue with the guy. At the end of the day, what he eats don’t make me shit so let him serve his time and go on with his dumbass life. Lying to his fans is another aspect altogether and again, that will be left up to each individual to decide whether they forgive him for lying but that again is partly an ethical thing and I have gotten over that. The court of public opinion is stupid and frivolous (Kobe Bryant, anyone?) especially when it comes to sports so if he goes somewhere in 2009/2010 and helps them win then all is forgiven and people will be like “what dogs?” Don’t forget, Ray Lewis STABBED A DUDE and no one remembers that because he won Baltimore a Super Bowl. Randy Moss and Terrell Owens have been a malcontents and/or fucktards everywhere they have gone and because their current teams are front-runners for the Super Bowl the double-fisted hand jobs they are getting from the fans (and surprisingly the media) would make Jesse Jane take notes. So at the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter what I think about Mike Vick because the court of law has made its decision and the court of sports is based on wins and losses. Personally, I want him to play again because once you pay your debt to society you deserve a CHANCE to move on. Fuck ethics, if the world was based on ethics we would all be shot in the face for SOMETHING so get off your fucking high horse. Unless you pee on minors in which NIGGA YOU NASTY:
I still find that very humorous.
What is that? We got another stop on the Omnibus?! Lay it on me!
Question #5: What Are Some Things You Want To See End In 2008?
Wow, that is a good ass question! Big ups to Allen from Honolulu! Well, let us run down a few things I want to see end in 2008:
1. Prison Break. The show is good, I admit. But….maybe you should stop doing shit to get you put in a fucking prison. I mean, its been three seasons! Anyone heard of the “Three Strikes” law?!
2. Bono getting eaten by the starving children. Just seems like the greatest irony ever. Even better than Clarence Carter’s death by “strokin”.
3. No more High School Musical. That may be shocking coming from me, but man you are trying to get friction from the vagina of a whore with this one. Like driving a Mini-Cooper through a hangar. Let it die, after the second one (which wasn’t all that good but it was okay) they need to fucking stop.
4. Saw movies. For fucks sake, WHO IS WATCHING THIS SHIT?! I mean fucking seriously?! What is wrong with you braindead assholes?!
5. AIDS in Africa. Okay, here we go: STOP FUCKING. I know it has been said, but seriously. If you ate as much as you fucked you would be healthy as shit. With AIDS, but still your ass wouldn’t be fucking hungry anymore. I must be missing something but I would rather have key lime pie than about 97% of all women, let alone AIDS infested. I mean, key lime pie never gave me a scare of a cold sore. Women have.
6. Jay–Z/Beyonce. Just stop. Please.
7. People taking 2Pac/Notorious BIG songs. The next nigga that does this shit is getting shot. I don’t care anymore. Call it a threat but I am sick of this shit. Especially Biggie. THE MAN HAD TWO FUCKING ALBUMS WORTH OF GOD DAMN MATERIAL!! I mean, Pac still has songs we haven’t heard so that is logical but still fucking annoying. And he really wasn’t better than Pac anyway. There, I said it. Bring it the fuck on.
8. Turks. You know why.
9. Mandy Moore being hot. Stop it. Seriously. You are keeping me from loving women. GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
10. T-Pain. Big ups on your new movie. Heard AVP2 is pretty bad ass. BURN!
11. DJ Khaled. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU DO?! I hate you and I hope you get eaten by Rick Ross.
There are some other things, but these are the biggies. Let’s keep this bus moving cuz I got thangs to DO!
Question #6: What Are Things You Want To See More Of In 2008
I am GLAD YOU ASKED little Jessica from Portland!
1. NaNa. I love you.
2. Hip Hop not sucking. TI, Kanye West, Common, Talkib Kweli, Lupe Fiasco and UGK all released hot albums in 2007. With more TI, a Lil Wayne album and an OUTKAST ALBUM coming soon this could be the year hip hop makes its comeback. About fucking time, Nelly and Fiddy have been fucking it up for way too long. Rest In Peace, Pimp-C. Sweet Jones.
3. The Rebuilding of R&B. John Legend, Anthony Hamilton and Jill Scott tried to save it but too many shirtless niggas crying about women and talking about how sexy they are kind of put another nail in the coffin. Let us not forget about The King of R&Pee. Hopefully we can get some Angie Stone, D’Angelo (if he lays off the crack) and Erykah Badu to begin the rebuilding stages.
4. Comic book movies with real stars/directors. With The Dark Knight, Iron Man and a revamped The Incredible Hulk, comic book movies are back. We will still get a Ghost Rider or Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer but you have to go through a few duds before you get a gem.
5. NLT. Boy bands are BACK, BITCHES! I mean that with the upmost respect, to all bitches.
6. Good anime. Where in the hell is the new stuff?! Since Darker Than Black and the new Gundam (to which I am “meh” because the best part about Gundam is the music) the cupboard has been bare!
7. Usher. Where in the fuck is Usher? This is getting real old, dude! Give me another “Yeah” by April or the puppy gets it! I aint fucking around!
8. Alicia Keys. See NaNa, multiply by 52,878,941,239 and spin around twice. Makes me regret swearing off women for 2008, but not like I will ever meet her. If I did…I would probably just pass the hell out. Just perfect in every way
9. Justin Timberlake. I said some mean things to you after the Price incident but I am sorry. It’s just Prince is Prince and I got defensive. It’s okay, you can come home!
10. May J. Mmmmmmmmm, tastes goooooooooooooooooooood!!!!
If you don’t want some of that, something is wrong with you.
11. Bi (Rain). The only reason Korea should exist aside from BoA. I am totally looking forward to Speed Race solely for him.
Again, if you don’t want some of that something is wrong with you. I mean….if Korean hawties are your thing. Not mine, I like boobies.
Oh, and give me a little more Yui and I should be good for 2008. I miss my baby!
I know you are sad as well, but it is time for the last Omnibus stop of the year!
Question #7: At The End Of The Day, What Did You Learn In 2007?
Jimmy of Birmingham, Alabama….this one is for you! Although I am surprised you were able to compose such a coherent bunch of words. They’s reading in the Souf! Well, I learned some things this year. What did I learn you ask?
• I learned that I am a total fashionista. I had no idea I was such an accessory whore.
• People really….really….really….just don’t like me. It’s weird, I give of the aura of “FUCK THAT NIGGA!” or something because man, I get the mean much from men and women 24/7.
• I look damn good. Mostly for myself because people don’t care but dammit…I am one sexy bitch! I work it like a rib at a family cookout when it comes to looking funky fresh dressed!
• I am incapable of love. That and I love too much which really makes for some awkward moments.
• Nothing hotter than a crazy woman. Damn it…just hot. Glad I’m swearing them off.
• Still don’t like bros. Hide your scotch!
• I have accepted being a nerd. Took two years, but it is what it is.
My god…I may have to do that dance at NDK or something. Nerds get that song. If you aint a nerd, you are an r-tard!
Well, the Omnibus has made its rounds and it is time to park at the terminal until 2008. It has been an awesome year this year for the Passion of Chachi Blog (and to a lesser extent my MySpace blog). Although I have posted a LOT less this year (Only 194 times, not including the Year End Extravaganza) a lot more was said, more fun was had and the rants were a lot better than my original work. Correct me if I am wrong. I want to thank you for the time you spend on my blog looking at my bitching and other posts. A really big thank you for making Douchebrawl as big as it was last year (Hey, I am happy with 900 people voting seeing as I only have three friends that don’t owe me money) and here is hoping that it will be bigger in 2008. I want to thank all the people that pissed me off, broke my heart and gave me inspiration this year to give me the fuel for the fire to keep on producing the rants. I want to thank the people who enjoy the J-pop enough to frequent the blog each Friday. I know I don’t say this enough…if at all because I am all about the Deuce but….
THANK YOU, PEEPS.
The Year End Extravaganza will be up tomorrow afternoon or morning as I will either be in Denver or party hopping tomorrow night. I will try to post on New Year’s Day if I am coherent (like that has stopped me. Every post in 2006 I was probably drunk or drinking) but I will most def be back on Friday for the first Countdown of 2008. Doucheology 101 will also be up next week (Earlier than last year, but I want this to be BIG so I am putting more time into it) so stay tuned! Until next year, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out.
