What is up, peeps? Interesting week, rather pissed off but that is life. It is time for the Friday staple and you know what it is. If you don’t and it is your first time here, kick back and find out the twenty biggest videos in the world!
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
First I want to bring something back I haven’t done in over a year I believe. Hell, it may be a year in a half. Here are the videos that just debuted and almost made it on this week as I give you…
BOILING UNDER!!
Hearts Grow – Sora
FUCK YES! I can honestly say that this is my favorite Hearts Grow song yet! I am a huge fan of them (Ever since “Road” which was a gem) and I am pissy about no album but….you can’t win them all
Hyori Lee – Hey, Mr. Big!
Um….yeah she is hot. I mean very hot. I may need to grab some soju and watch this one. This is one of those songs on the album that sounded good but I didn’t think it would be a good video. Man, I was SO wrong on that one.
Now, let’s begin with a debut from a group that has been gone for over 17 months!
20. Maroon 5 – Goodnight, Goodnight (New Entry)
We begin this week with a debut video from Maroon 5. It has been WELL OVER A YEAR since we have last seen them on here when they hit number one with “Makes Me Wonder” in spring of 2007. You know, they always have very good videos and this is no exception. Adam Levine kind of scares me, but who doesn’t at this age?
19. UVERworld – Koishikute (New Entry)
THE WORLD IS BACK! POWER BALLAD, BITCHES! UVERworld FINALLY gives us a ballad after several lackluster rock videos (Although “Roots” had its moments) and dammit it is about time! The translation of this song, which I had to look up because I would still be on the first three lines had I not because my Japanese SUCKS, is so sad but so AWESOME. You know, this could be their best video yet. Better than SHAMROCK!
18. Paramore – That’s What You Get (Last Week #14, Two Weeks at #1)
So Paramore ends the summer with a number one video and arguably the biggest rock video of the year not by HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR. It should be an interesting battle for the Rock Video of the Year Chachi Award between them.
17. New Kids On The Block - Summertime (Last Week #15)
NKOTB falls this week as summertime comes to an end. Also, a new video with (Ugh…) Akon is coming soon and I have to say….I like the song. Don’t like Akon though.
16. Game feat Keisha Cole – Pain (Last Week #12, One Week at #1) [Plunge of the Week]
The Year of Game continues as he broke his drought of not having a number one video with this one. “LAX” just hit the streets and I will have to pick it up when I get paid because it is the best West Coast album I have heard since DJ Quik’s “Under Tha Influence” which is an unheralded classic.
15. John Legend feat Andre 3000 – Green Light (New Entry)
HELL YES! John it is about damn time you made a fricking video for this song! First off, the more Andre 3000 the better. Secondly, it has been a while since John graced us with his presence and even LONGER (If ever?) he gave us a dance track. Even Stevie got down, baby! Welcome back! BTW, second highest debut ever on the Countdown. Just an FYI.
14. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Hot Limit (Last Week #11, Two Weeks at #1)
So HAMC falls another three spots this week. It has been a pretty big year for them but they have slowed a bit in the last few months. Here is to them ending strong.
13. Game feat. Lil Wayne – My Life (Last Week #20, Biggest Mover)
It’s time to play the Game! Game and Lil’ Wayne move up a HUGE seven spots this week as we near the Chachi Music & Video Awards (Coming in November, by the way! Nominees coming soon!). I have had this song on for about a month and this video has grown on me despite all the red. What can I say, I am anti-gang.
12. RBD - Empezar Desde Cero (Last Week #9)
RBD falls from the Top 10 for the first time in over a month and a half as they fail once again to take number one. I smell a Best Pop Group nod….
11. Bennie K feat SOFFet – Music Traveler (Last Week #16)
Bennie K is travelling upward once again! After a pretty long hiatus (Not as long as Maroon 5 or Namie Amuro HINT HINT!) they are back and moving toward the top! They were on the verge of being a one video wonder (See: UGK) but they followed it up with a great one here. Bennie K is always experimenting and this one is no different. Great stuff!
10. Ikimono-Gakari - Bluebird (Last Week #7)
We are into the Top 10 and we begin with Ikimono-Gakari! They are steadily falling downward after coming so close to taking the top spot. Will they follow it up with another huge video? Also, I WANT TO SEE THE NARUTO MOVIE!!!
9. FLOW – WORLD END (Last Week #13)
FLOW is back! After over a year and a half away, they are back in the Top 10! I haven’t really liked Code Geass (Not even the new season) but this song is tits and this video is great. New album, anyone?
8. NERD feat Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pusha-T – Everybody Nose (Remix) (Last Week #10)
CRS is taking over! The Best Rap Artist Chachi Award is going to be hotly contested with Lupe Fiasco AND Kanye West duking it out. Not only that, but Game and Young Jeezy are up there, too!
7. Wonder Girls – So Hot (Last Week #4, Two Weeks at #1)
The Wonder Girls aren’t having a wonderful week right now, I tell you what. They fall three more spots this week and out of the Top Five. New video, though. I will let you know how it is for you non-fans.
6. Fonzworth Bentley feat Andre 3000 & Kanye West – Everybody [Don’t Stop] (Last Week #8)
More Andre 3000 and Kanye? Sign me up! Fonzworth Bentley has himself a good one here as he moves up two more spots this week with help from his compatriots. From Diddy’s manservant to a number one video? We will have to see about that one!
5. T.I. – No Matter What (Last Week #3, One Week at #1)
T.I.’s triumphant return has ended as he falls two more spots this week from the Top Three. He had a slow beginning of the year but he is pushing hard to repeat as a Chachi Award winner in 2008. Can the King take his throne back? We will find out in November!
4. Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl (Last Week #5)
Hyori Lee is SLOWLY moving toward her first number one video as she moves up a spot this week. She just released a new video for “Hey, Mr. Big!” and once again…it is hella hot. Can I just say I am a total fan? Yeah, she needs to eat a sammich though. We are down to three!
3. Kelun – CHU-BURA (Last Week #1, One Week at #1)
NOOOOO! The Bleach Bump couldn’t keep Kelun at number one for a second week! Kelun had a LONG trek to the top and finally took it but it was short lived. Great job though, guys! So who is number two I wonder….
2. Yui – Summer Song (Last Week #2)
NOT AGAIN! Yui cannot take the top spot from Kelun! She stands pat at number two which makes it her FOURTH STRAIGHT video to make it to number two and stay for more than one week. That has to be a record of something. That is also JUST JACKED. So with Yui at number two and Kelun knocked from the top, who has taken over the throne?
1. Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On (Last Week #6, One Week at #1)
Well I’ll be damned. Young Jeezy has his second number one video of 2008! He was on top for three weeks with Usher this summer and it is his third number one video in the Countdown’s almost three year history! It is a shock, I must say. Not only that, it is Kanye’s THIRD NUMBER ONE VIDEO OF THE YEAR (CRS’s “Us Placers” and “Champion” with Chris Martin earlier this year) which is officially a record. And it’s only AUGUST! Congrats to both!
That is all for now, peeps! Tune in next week to see if Young Jeezy and Kanye can hold on for a second week! Or will Yui FINALLY break the streak and take her first number one in over a year and a half? Or can Hyori Lee shock them all and go to the top? See you in seven days to find out!
Well, I may see “College” tonight and I am TOTALLY going to the demolition derby on Saturday if anyone is down to go with me. Until I come back (Maybe Sunday), stay up.
Chachi Out.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Frylock, What's A Handjob? Because I'm About To Get One.
I have had a very jacked up week, people. Some highlights:
1. Denver Is A Hellhole: Seriously, that place pisses me the fuck off. I drove three blocks and went through three different cities. All three sucked teh balls.
2. Rick Astley Rocks You Even If You Can’t See Him: So I Rickroll’d some blind students at Arapahoe Community College today….and I didn’t feel bad about it. Even the blind need to know that no one is going to let them down or desert them.
3. I Understand James Brown…But No Stevie?!: So I watched some of the Democratic National Convention (I am totally trying to score tickets for the finale. All the fly honeys are gonna be there!) and I have to say….it was liz-ame. Now I am a Democrat only in name (Mainly because all the parties suck ass but as much as I despise Democrats, Republicans can all die as far as I am concerned. Especially McCain since he is one tap on the shoulder from croaking anyway) but are you telling me that you had to get a motherfucking HOUSE BAND rather than the real artists to perform? I know John Legend kicked the bad boy off (I TOTALLY WANTED TO SEE THAT!!) but whoever they got to send off Michelle Obama (Who after tonight no longer scares me. She is better to look at than Cindy McCain…mostly because she had a stroke and looks like Botox is rejecting her face. I went there and I don’t gives a FUCK) with a rather karaoke rendition of “Isn’t She Lovely” by Stevie Wonder needs to be fired. Are you telling me they couldn’t have brought Stevie’s blind, Black ass to fucking Denver? What, would the lack of humidity fuck up his hair even worse? God…..pissing me off. Oh, and I will totally lose my shit if Nancy Pelosi Rickrolls Hillary. That would be the greatest moment in politics EVER.
4. We Need A New National Anthem, Brother!: I am so fucking sick of the “Star Spangled Bore-Fest!” You think that song puts fear into the hearts of the evildoers in the world? Fuck no, our national anthem might as well be Tutti-motherfucking-Frutti. We need a song that says “we are America and if you don’t like it we will totally break our foot off in your ass and drop a legdrop of truth on your bitch ass!” We need a song that takes the stars and bars, wraps it around the throats of our opponents and chokes the shit out of them! We need a song that shows what we are….REAL AMERICANS:
Aint nobody fucking with the USA if that was blaring in the Olympics. Could you see Barack Obama and Joe Biden giving Kim Jong Il a Doomsday Device?
FUCK YEAH. McCain can’t do that shit.
5. I Miss Funny As Shit Eddie Murphy:
James brown celebrity hottub
Uploaded by codordog
Man, those were the days. Well before the shitty kids’ movies and even shittier dressing up as fat people movies, Eddie Murphy was arguably the funniest motherfucker on the planet. Now he is unfunny and likes tranny hookers. I mean to each their own but I prefer Mister Robinson’s neighborhood to The Nutty Professor or Norbit any day.
6. You Kissed A Girl And You Liked It…But You Are Going To HELL, Fake Lezzie!: I posted a question to a friend of mine that another person posed to me about of my blogs where I ranted on women that kiss women that aren’t gay. I made a comment a few weeks ago to a female friend about how if she was a Christian she couldn’t kiss women because homosexuality is a sin, not just in living but in act according to the word of Jebus and his asshole of a dad. Seriously, he made Joe Jackson look like Ward Cleaver. Needless to say, she got pissed about it because that is what women do when standard logic prevails their self-created rules because “just because I kiss another girl doesn’t make mean I am going to hell!” to which I responded that according to the bible, you are. Guess what? If you claim to be a Christian and you don’t follow the words of the Bible YOU ARENT A FUCKING CHRISTIAN. I personally could give a fuck what you do or what sex you fuck but in the end don’t tell me that if you are following the word of the Bible and you lay with the same sex (Yes, kissing is a form of sex to Jesus lovers. Hell, high fiving is a form of sex to Christians last I checked)…well….read for yourself
“If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.”
Now I don’t give a fuck what the Bible says because I am not a Christian (Or any of the denominations. I worship the Wolven and he is all for chicks kissing each other. As long as he is in the middle of that Filet O’ Fish sandwich. OH, innuendo all over your FACE!) and I am not a believer in Jesus Christ’s divinity. However, if part of being a good Christian is taking what is in the bible and applying it into your life you just can’t pick and choose which you want to do. Now I know that is a woman’s motis operandi but when it comes to the Bible, you don’t want to mess around with that. If you have children out of wedlock according to the Bible you have sinned. Period. I didn’t say it, the book did. So if you follow the book and you break it’s not really enforceable rules then you have sinned and you is going to hell, girl!
7. Only Women Can Be Bi-Curious. Bi-Curious Men Are Gay: Now I have a few female friends that “tried out” being lesbians (usually after either an argument with daddy or a bad relationship with a man….that stems from an argument with daddy. Theme, anyone?) and some found it wasn’t for them and went back to men because at the end of the day women can’t validate each other. That’s why women don’t really have female friends. When a woman tells you “Oh, she is my best friend ever!” what she is saying is “I fucking hate that bitch and when she is happy it grates on my nerves like a Jonas Brothers song!” and don’t believe anything otherwise because a woman’s bankai is lying:
But nowhere near as cool; it usually ends with me wanting to choke the shit out of them but that’s life. Back to the point, though. How many men have you met that said to a woman on a date:
“You know, for a while in college I was really interested in the cock. I mean I had never tried it, all I had was that sweet, sweet vag. So my best friend and I were wrestling….we had some scotch and were watching UFC….one thing lead to another and all of a sudden he was balls deep like two pink bouy in a brown ocean. We continued to date but after a while, I really missed titties so I went back to chicks. So I am totally straight now....boy was that FUN though! So tell me about you”
And that date got past that point? I will tell you how many times. NEVER. It is one of the double standards that I find comical (Actually, I find all double standards comical because I don’t believe in any of them but am expected to which is even MORE comical because since I’m not the norm people get pissed) but you rarely hear of a man that used to be gay going back to women….and it just be accepted. Personally I wouldn’t care and it would be great testimony for church that I never go to:
“Yo, this here is my nigga Trevor. He used to be all about that wang but now it aint his thang. He is all about the tang!”
First off, that shit is funny. Second off, you would NEVER hear that anywhere at any point in time because no one would accept a male being homosexual and going back to being straight unless you are an evangelical or Liza Minelli. Well, sometimes you gotta (barrel) roll with it, baby:
Well, I am out for now. I may be back on Thursday before Nerd Out Thursday (Which will be short a member but we will DRINK FOR TWO! Or TOO….much) before a new Countdown on Friday which may be the biggest Countdown ever. Letting you know now…..THREE DEBUT VIDEOS! Until next time, stay up.
Chachi Out.
1. Denver Is A Hellhole: Seriously, that place pisses me the fuck off. I drove three blocks and went through three different cities. All three sucked teh balls.
2. Rick Astley Rocks You Even If You Can’t See Him: So I Rickroll’d some blind students at Arapahoe Community College today….and I didn’t feel bad about it. Even the blind need to know that no one is going to let them down or desert them.
3. I Understand James Brown…But No Stevie?!: So I watched some of the Democratic National Convention (I am totally trying to score tickets for the finale. All the fly honeys are gonna be there!) and I have to say….it was liz-ame. Now I am a Democrat only in name (Mainly because all the parties suck ass but as much as I despise Democrats, Republicans can all die as far as I am concerned. Especially McCain since he is one tap on the shoulder from croaking anyway) but are you telling me that you had to get a motherfucking HOUSE BAND rather than the real artists to perform? I know John Legend kicked the bad boy off (I TOTALLY WANTED TO SEE THAT!!) but whoever they got to send off Michelle Obama (Who after tonight no longer scares me. She is better to look at than Cindy McCain…mostly because she had a stroke and looks like Botox is rejecting her face. I went there and I don’t gives a FUCK) with a rather karaoke rendition of “Isn’t She Lovely” by Stevie Wonder needs to be fired. Are you telling me they couldn’t have brought Stevie’s blind, Black ass to fucking Denver? What, would the lack of humidity fuck up his hair even worse? God…..pissing me off. Oh, and I will totally lose my shit if Nancy Pelosi Rickrolls Hillary. That would be the greatest moment in politics EVER.
4. We Need A New National Anthem, Brother!: I am so fucking sick of the “Star Spangled Bore-Fest!” You think that song puts fear into the hearts of the evildoers in the world? Fuck no, our national anthem might as well be Tutti-motherfucking-Frutti. We need a song that says “we are America and if you don’t like it we will totally break our foot off in your ass and drop a legdrop of truth on your bitch ass!” We need a song that takes the stars and bars, wraps it around the throats of our opponents and chokes the shit out of them! We need a song that shows what we are….REAL AMERICANS:
Aint nobody fucking with the USA if that was blaring in the Olympics. Could you see Barack Obama and Joe Biden giving Kim Jong Il a Doomsday Device?
FUCK YEAH. McCain can’t do that shit.
5. I Miss Funny As Shit Eddie Murphy:
James brown celebrity hottub
Uploaded by codordog
Man, those were the days. Well before the shitty kids’ movies and even shittier dressing up as fat people movies, Eddie Murphy was arguably the funniest motherfucker on the planet. Now he is unfunny and likes tranny hookers. I mean to each their own but I prefer Mister Robinson’s neighborhood to The Nutty Professor or Norbit any day.
6. You Kissed A Girl And You Liked It…But You Are Going To HELL, Fake Lezzie!: I posted a question to a friend of mine that another person posed to me about of my blogs where I ranted on women that kiss women that aren’t gay. I made a comment a few weeks ago to a female friend about how if she was a Christian she couldn’t kiss women because homosexuality is a sin, not just in living but in act according to the word of Jebus and his asshole of a dad. Seriously, he made Joe Jackson look like Ward Cleaver. Needless to say, she got pissed about it because that is what women do when standard logic prevails their self-created rules because “just because I kiss another girl doesn’t make mean I am going to hell!” to which I responded that according to the bible, you are. Guess what? If you claim to be a Christian and you don’t follow the words of the Bible YOU ARENT A FUCKING CHRISTIAN. I personally could give a fuck what you do or what sex you fuck but in the end don’t tell me that if you are following the word of the Bible and you lay with the same sex (Yes, kissing is a form of sex to Jesus lovers. Hell, high fiving is a form of sex to Christians last I checked)…well….read for yourself
“If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.”
Now I don’t give a fuck what the Bible says because I am not a Christian (Or any of the denominations. I worship the Wolven and he is all for chicks kissing each other. As long as he is in the middle of that Filet O’ Fish sandwich. OH, innuendo all over your FACE!) and I am not a believer in Jesus Christ’s divinity. However, if part of being a good Christian is taking what is in the bible and applying it into your life you just can’t pick and choose which you want to do. Now I know that is a woman’s motis operandi but when it comes to the Bible, you don’t want to mess around with that. If you have children out of wedlock according to the Bible you have sinned. Period. I didn’t say it, the book did. So if you follow the book and you break it’s not really enforceable rules then you have sinned and you is going to hell, girl!
7. Only Women Can Be Bi-Curious. Bi-Curious Men Are Gay: Now I have a few female friends that “tried out” being lesbians (usually after either an argument with daddy or a bad relationship with a man….that stems from an argument with daddy. Theme, anyone?) and some found it wasn’t for them and went back to men because at the end of the day women can’t validate each other. That’s why women don’t really have female friends. When a woman tells you “Oh, she is my best friend ever!” what she is saying is “I fucking hate that bitch and when she is happy it grates on my nerves like a Jonas Brothers song!” and don’t believe anything otherwise because a woman’s bankai is lying:
But nowhere near as cool; it usually ends with me wanting to choke the shit out of them but that’s life. Back to the point, though. How many men have you met that said to a woman on a date:
“You know, for a while in college I was really interested in the cock. I mean I had never tried it, all I had was that sweet, sweet vag. So my best friend and I were wrestling….we had some scotch and were watching UFC….one thing lead to another and all of a sudden he was balls deep like two pink bouy in a brown ocean. We continued to date but after a while, I really missed titties so I went back to chicks. So I am totally straight now....boy was that FUN though! So tell me about you”
And that date got past that point? I will tell you how many times. NEVER. It is one of the double standards that I find comical (Actually, I find all double standards comical because I don’t believe in any of them but am expected to which is even MORE comical because since I’m not the norm people get pissed) but you rarely hear of a man that used to be gay going back to women….and it just be accepted. Personally I wouldn’t care and it would be great testimony for church that I never go to:
“Yo, this here is my nigga Trevor. He used to be all about that wang but now it aint his thang. He is all about the tang!”
First off, that shit is funny. Second off, you would NEVER hear that anywhere at any point in time because no one would accept a male being homosexual and going back to being straight unless you are an evangelical or Liza Minelli. Well, sometimes you gotta (barrel) roll with it, baby:
Well, I am out for now. I may be back on Thursday before Nerd Out Thursday (Which will be short a member but we will DRINK FOR TWO! Or TOO….much) before a new Countdown on Friday which may be the biggest Countdown ever. Letting you know now…..THREE DEBUT VIDEOS! Until next time, stay up.
Chachi Out.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Bleach: Giving Anime Kick Ass Opening Themes Since 2006
Today is “Hamlet 2” day! But first it time for the Friday staple!
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!!
We begin this week with a debut from one of the biggest artists of 2008!
20. Game feat. Lil Wayne – My Life (New Entry)
We start off with arguably the second most hyped video of 2008 (Behind Miley Cyrus’s (7 Things” and Lil’ Wayne’s “Lollipop”) and I have to admit….it was worth the wait. Arguably 2008’s biggest star guests with Game in the Pac-like video for a really good song. Although there is too much red for my taste (Are you two TRYING to get killed?! Niggas is dumb!) it is good to see something non-shitty in hip hop.
19. Seamo feat Ayuse Kozue - Honey (Last Week #16)
Looks like Seamo’s fantastic voyage is coming to an end as he falls three spots this week. He has one of the longest running videos on the Countdown but he never got any higher than number 13. Pretty good staying power.
18. CHEMISTRY – Life Goes On (Last Week #19)
CHEMISTRY moves up a spot this week on their first time out. You know, I really get pissed when record labels bitch about having their artists videos on YouTube. Seriously, do you hate the fans that fucking much? Pricks.
17. Usher – Moving Mountains (Last Week #14)
Looks like Usher is moving down as well as he falls down the mountain this week. Nothing new and I was really expecting more after having to wait 10 millenia since the awesomeness that was “Yeah!”
16. Bennie K feat SOFFet – Music Traveler (New Entry)
BENNIE K - Music Traveler with SOFFet
Uploaded by once_again
Bennie K is back! After dominating the spring with “Monochrome” which stayed at number one for a mindboggling seven weeks, the sexy ladies are FINALLY returning to the Countdown! Much like “Joy Trip” this song experiments highly with country and folk to which I say quite alright. They bring along SOFFet for the ride who I really dug in that Mihimaru GT video.
15. New Kids On The Block - Summertime (Last Week #15)
NKOTB STALLS?! Is it time to panic? Nah, not yet but summertime is over so it may be time for another “Step By Step,” I’m just saying.
14. Paramore – That’s What You Get (Last Week #12, Two Weeks at #1)
Paramore on the VMA’s?! With T.I.?! Well, not at the same time but still. I guess I officially have a reason to watch MTV that doesn’t involve breakdancing. Damn it, the boycott was going so well.
13. FLOW – WORLD END (Last Week #17, Biggest Mover)
FLOW is officially back! They are the biggest mover this week as they hope to renew the success they had TWO YEARS AGO with “Re:Member” when it hit number one. Damn, that was a fucking long time ago.
12. Game feat Keisha Cole – Pain (Last Week #10, One Week at #1)
So the Game falls out of the Top 10 this week but with a new video debuting it looks like he is trying to get in the argument for Chachi for Artist of the Year. With Yui and Kanye pretty much locking that down he may need another strong run for consideration.
11. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Hot Limit (Last Week #8, Two Weeks at #1)
So….is there ever going to be a new opening theme for Soul Eater? I mean seriously the endings have been awesome and I love TM Revolution but it is about that time for something new.
10. NERD feat Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pusha-T – Everybody Nose (Remix) (Last Week #13)
Well look at this! CRS is back in the Top 10! After dominating before Bennie k made their triumphant return CRS was on the low with each artist returning on their own but they are back and looking to go two for two! Also, this is Week Kanye because….well you will see.
9. RBD - Empezar Desde Cero (Last Week #7)
RBD looks to once again fall short of the top spot as their latest falls two spots. I am in need of a new album and the La Familia DVD. There, you know what to get me for my birthday next month. MAKE IT HAPPEN, BITCHES!
8. Fonzworth Bentley feat. Andre 3000 & Kanye West – Everybody [Don’t Stop] (Last Week #11)
From Diddy’s manservant to a Top 10 video? Pretty good year for The Fonz! He brings along Andre 3000 and Kanye (Who kicks a pretty good hook) for the ride as the resurgence of hip hop continues in 2008! Love the dance sequences, btw.
7. Ikimono-Gakari - Bluebird (Last Week #4)
After coming so close, Ikimono-Gakari falls two more spots and out of the Top 5 this week. So….I REALLY WANT TO SEE THE NEW NARUTO MOVIE! I mean REALLY want to see that shit. I don’t know why but I am all about this show now.
6. Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On (Last Week #9)
Aaaaand once again it is Kanye. Young Jeezy moves up three big spots and lands right outside the Top Five this week with his latest. Can I just say that this is literally the illest hip-hop song of 2008? I know it sounds weird but….DAMN THIS TRACK IS COLD BLOODED!
5. Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl (Last Week #6)
The Princess is moving up! Hyori Lee has her first Top Five video and she is looking for more! With the history of the sexy ladies on the top (NaNa, Alicia Keys, Yui, Namie Amuro) can Hyori put her name up there? If this video has anything to do with it….yes.
4. Wonder Girls – So Hot (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
After tying with T.I. last week and two weeks on top, the Wonder Girls fall four big spots to number four! Well….they got here and now it is time to finish the job. We need a new video, ladies! We are down to three!
3. T.I. – No Matter What (Last Week #1, One Week at #1)
After only a week on top, the King has fallen! T.I. has a new video out (Which has grown on me. Odds are you will see it on here soon. REAL SOON) but it was kind of a shame this didn’t have a longer run. Even still, I am waithing for “Paper Trail” because it sounds a lot better so far than his last one.
2. Yui – Summer Song (Last Week #5)
Yui is making YET ANOTHER BID to end her streak! It has been over a year and five videos since she topped the chart last and she looks to be able to take back what is hers! I am all about this song and seeing as how it is the end of summer I still refuse to let it go. Can she end the streak? She will have to wait if she wants to because with T.I. and the Wonder Girls both falling from the top we have a new number one video!
1. Kelun – CHU-BURA (Last Week #3, One Week at #1)
YOU KNOW IT! From its debut eight weeks ago to right now, Kelun was priming itself for the number one spot. Taking full advantage of the Bleach Bump, Kelun takes the number one spot from the King and Queens! After the success of “SIXTEEN GIRL” it was going to take a lot to overtake that but Kelun has done it big time. Congrats guys, you have the biggest video in the land!
That is all for this week! Tune in next Friday to see if Kelun can make it two weeks in a row! Or will Yui finally end the year long drought of taking the number one spot? Or can T.I. or the Wonder Girls return to the number one spot? Tune in next week to find out!
Well, I am out for now. Hamlet 2 this afternoon! Until this weekend, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out.
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!!
We begin this week with a debut from one of the biggest artists of 2008!
20. Game feat. Lil Wayne – My Life (New Entry)
We start off with arguably the second most hyped video of 2008 (Behind Miley Cyrus’s (7 Things” and Lil’ Wayne’s “Lollipop”) and I have to admit….it was worth the wait. Arguably 2008’s biggest star guests with Game in the Pac-like video for a really good song. Although there is too much red for my taste (Are you two TRYING to get killed?! Niggas is dumb!) it is good to see something non-shitty in hip hop.
19. Seamo feat Ayuse Kozue - Honey (Last Week #16)
Looks like Seamo’s fantastic voyage is coming to an end as he falls three spots this week. He has one of the longest running videos on the Countdown but he never got any higher than number 13. Pretty good staying power.
18. CHEMISTRY – Life Goes On (Last Week #19)
CHEMISTRY moves up a spot this week on their first time out. You know, I really get pissed when record labels bitch about having their artists videos on YouTube. Seriously, do you hate the fans that fucking much? Pricks.
17. Usher – Moving Mountains (Last Week #14)
Looks like Usher is moving down as well as he falls down the mountain this week. Nothing new and I was really expecting more after having to wait 10 millenia since the awesomeness that was “Yeah!”
16. Bennie K feat SOFFet – Music Traveler (New Entry)
BENNIE K - Music Traveler with SOFFet
Uploaded by once_again
Bennie K is back! After dominating the spring with “Monochrome” which stayed at number one for a mindboggling seven weeks, the sexy ladies are FINALLY returning to the Countdown! Much like “Joy Trip” this song experiments highly with country and folk to which I say quite alright. They bring along SOFFet for the ride who I really dug in that Mihimaru GT video.
15. New Kids On The Block - Summertime (Last Week #15)
NKOTB STALLS?! Is it time to panic? Nah, not yet but summertime is over so it may be time for another “Step By Step,” I’m just saying.
14. Paramore – That’s What You Get (Last Week #12, Two Weeks at #1)
Paramore on the VMA’s?! With T.I.?! Well, not at the same time but still. I guess I officially have a reason to watch MTV that doesn’t involve breakdancing. Damn it, the boycott was going so well.
13. FLOW – WORLD END (Last Week #17, Biggest Mover)
FLOW is officially back! They are the biggest mover this week as they hope to renew the success they had TWO YEARS AGO with “Re:Member” when it hit number one. Damn, that was a fucking long time ago.
12. Game feat Keisha Cole – Pain (Last Week #10, One Week at #1)
So the Game falls out of the Top 10 this week but with a new video debuting it looks like he is trying to get in the argument for Chachi for Artist of the Year. With Yui and Kanye pretty much locking that down he may need another strong run for consideration.
11. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Hot Limit (Last Week #8, Two Weeks at #1)
So….is there ever going to be a new opening theme for Soul Eater? I mean seriously the endings have been awesome and I love TM Revolution but it is about that time for something new.
10. NERD feat Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pusha-T – Everybody Nose (Remix) (Last Week #13)
Well look at this! CRS is back in the Top 10! After dominating before Bennie k made their triumphant return CRS was on the low with each artist returning on their own but they are back and looking to go two for two! Also, this is Week Kanye because….well you will see.
9. RBD - Empezar Desde Cero (Last Week #7)
RBD looks to once again fall short of the top spot as their latest falls two spots. I am in need of a new album and the La Familia DVD. There, you know what to get me for my birthday next month. MAKE IT HAPPEN, BITCHES!
8. Fonzworth Bentley feat. Andre 3000 & Kanye West – Everybody [Don’t Stop] (Last Week #11)
From Diddy’s manservant to a Top 10 video? Pretty good year for The Fonz! He brings along Andre 3000 and Kanye (Who kicks a pretty good hook) for the ride as the resurgence of hip hop continues in 2008! Love the dance sequences, btw.
7. Ikimono-Gakari - Bluebird (Last Week #4)
After coming so close, Ikimono-Gakari falls two more spots and out of the Top 5 this week. So….I REALLY WANT TO SEE THE NEW NARUTO MOVIE! I mean REALLY want to see that shit. I don’t know why but I am all about this show now.
6. Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On (Last Week #9)
Aaaaand once again it is Kanye. Young Jeezy moves up three big spots and lands right outside the Top Five this week with his latest. Can I just say that this is literally the illest hip-hop song of 2008? I know it sounds weird but….DAMN THIS TRACK IS COLD BLOODED!
5. Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl (Last Week #6)
The Princess is moving up! Hyori Lee has her first Top Five video and she is looking for more! With the history of the sexy ladies on the top (NaNa, Alicia Keys, Yui, Namie Amuro) can Hyori put her name up there? If this video has anything to do with it….yes.
4. Wonder Girls – So Hot (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
After tying with T.I. last week and two weeks on top, the Wonder Girls fall four big spots to number four! Well….they got here and now it is time to finish the job. We need a new video, ladies! We are down to three!
3. T.I. – No Matter What (Last Week #1, One Week at #1)
After only a week on top, the King has fallen! T.I. has a new video out (Which has grown on me. Odds are you will see it on here soon. REAL SOON) but it was kind of a shame this didn’t have a longer run. Even still, I am waithing for “Paper Trail” because it sounds a lot better so far than his last one.
2. Yui – Summer Song (Last Week #5)
Yui is making YET ANOTHER BID to end her streak! It has been over a year and five videos since she topped the chart last and she looks to be able to take back what is hers! I am all about this song and seeing as how it is the end of summer I still refuse to let it go. Can she end the streak? She will have to wait if she wants to because with T.I. and the Wonder Girls both falling from the top we have a new number one video!
1. Kelun – CHU-BURA (Last Week #3, One Week at #1)
YOU KNOW IT! From its debut eight weeks ago to right now, Kelun was priming itself for the number one spot. Taking full advantage of the Bleach Bump, Kelun takes the number one spot from the King and Queens! After the success of “SIXTEEN GIRL” it was going to take a lot to overtake that but Kelun has done it big time. Congrats guys, you have the biggest video in the land!
That is all for this week! Tune in next Friday to see if Kelun can make it two weeks in a row! Or will Yui finally end the year long drought of taking the number one spot? Or can T.I. or the Wonder Girls return to the number one spot? Tune in next week to find out!
Well, I am out for now. Hamlet 2 this afternoon! Until this weekend, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Women Getting Bad Advice From Women? Fan-tastic!
So this evening I was hella bored and I saw a link on my Yahoo email account about an article from Cosmo (The end all be all of bullshit that women live by that makes no sense and has no bearing on reality ever. Wait, that would be Oprah) about “7 Bad Girl Bedroom Moves You Must Master.”
O_o
Okay, first off I am a dude. I could care less about this kind of stuff but it is showing up on the side of my email a lot so I am figuring I am totally gay or everyone thinks I am which makes me TOTALLY FUCKING GAY. Being the inquisitive chap I am (Using new vernacular. Working for you? Nothing?) I decided to click on the link and boy…it just got worse from there. Here are some “highlights” of this pinnacle of female sexual journalism:
Dare To….Create An Alter Ego
Okay, I could see how this could be hot….if you are a fucking super-villain. You are a woman which makes you not ABLE to be a super-villain because super-villany is awesome and you are NO Dr. Girlfriend. Or Miss Monarch, it all depends. Now as one who has been avoiding and been avoided by “teh sex” for several years now I really don’t get any of this bullshit about role playing unless it involves school girl and senpai. Or anything and senpai because I just want to be called that because that shit is HOT. If you need to create an alter ego to be a whore then you are faking the funk. Real whores are whore twenty-four seven and we appreciate them for it!
Dare To….Pump Up The Dirty Dialoge
Okay, this is one that I get but I don’t LIKE. It is kind of like Guy Ritchie movies. The concept of talking dirty SOUNDS like a good idea but if you are talking…then I am obviously putting work in the wrong hole if you get my drift. If women have nothing of value to say when sex ISN’T being had, what makes them think I care about what they have to say in the act of coitus? EPIC-ZING! I kid, I kid. In all seriousness, talking dirty does nothing because the more you talk, the less you are sucking. Which I hear dudes enjoy over hearing about anything you have to say. Ever. Not that I would know, the female gender is a being that is foreign, godless and scary to me. Like Turks with boobies.
Dare To…..Put On The Porn
Fuck you, bitch. Unless you are going to DO the horrible, horrible things that Sasha Grey, Belladonna and Ashley Blue do for my uni-lateral carnal gratification then I have no need to watch porn with you. It isn’t like we are watching “27 Dresses” here. The kind of porn I want to watch isn’t going to be what SHE wants to watch and as we all know, the numbers of women that know about good porn (That aren’t actually performing in them and may god bless them because they do just as much for our freedom as anyone else in this country) run in about the 15% range IF THAT. You see, also there is something to be said for the fact that women don’t really know what men find sexually attractive. Sexually AROUSING is simple because men get hard-ons at the sight of just about anything resembling boobs or the random touch in a bar or subway. There is a reason why fashion designers, porn directors and music video casting agents are all male: they know what men want. Men don’t want to see women kissing each other (Well….smart men don’t) because that is a waste of time. Men want to see chicks kissing THEM. So what women assume men like ends up being de facto true because most men are simple and are aroused by pretty much anything. The last thing I need is to be stuck watching porn with a girlfriend and she gets all freaked out because she finds “Behind The Green Door” arousing cinematic erotica while I want to watch “Big Wet Asses 11”:
Julia Bond, Cody Lane AND Sativa Rose? Now that is porn at its FINEST! Yet I know for a FACT that women freak out about that kind of porn because I have seen it firsthand. Buy me a drink and I will tell you the story; funny shit especially because she was Mormon. Anyway, I don’t believe in this but if there IS a lady that is down to watch “Ass Worship 9” or “Invasian 2” holla at yo boy. I gots them both on the A-V-I.
Article #2: Do Guys Find You Intriguing?
Well, let’s look at this honestly. All men find all women intriguing. Just for different reasons. Men and their interest in women break down like this:
75% of men find what is in between your legs intriguing, and it could be anyone….not just you.
10% of men PRETEND to find you intriguing because they want what is between your legs but don’t want to be an uber-tool about it.
10% of men are gay and couldn’t give a fuck about you. Gay dudes rule, the Romans knew it, the Greeks knew it, Tom Cruise knows it and now you do. They are festive!
5% of men are dumbfounded by your stupidity and disgusted by your lack of common sense and self respect….but you are the only viable option aside from other dudes (The world frowns on collie/man relationships)
The numbers could be off….but they are not. The Chachi has spoken!
Article #3: How To Tell If A Guy Is Cheating
So I remember once that Zach was telling me about a conversation he had in class (Odds are women’s studies) and a student said that females cheating in a relationship is justified because the odds are that a man will do it anyway. It was mind-blowing because two years earlier I heard that SAME FUCKING ARGUMENT in college and I wondered if women were really that lacking in common sense? Well, the past years have proven that answer to be yes because I have had to deal with no less than five female friends deciding that cheating was a viable option for THEM because they were hurt or unfulfilled or just plain whores (I believe all three but I am just a man…A man of awesomeness!) but if her significant other did it to them then he was the biggest cad since John Edwards. Now basic logic should state that if you feel the need to cheat then you shouldn’t be exclusively with someone in the first fucking place. End of story. If you can’t trust your partner and have to look for signs of their infidelity then the same goes for you, fucky. As I read this article, everything seemed like such a reach that it was like women intentionally look for signs that their boyfriend is cheating so they can justify cheating themselves. I mean honestly:
Grooming: Um…..I try to stay as manicured and fresh dressed as possible. As a big dude it isn’t easy but I make do with what I got. Now as for the trimming of the pubes….who the fuck doesn’t? No one wants to look like they have New Zealand in their fucking pants. Maybe women should follow that rule too….just a thought.
Super-protective of their Gadgets: Understand this right now. I don’t mind people on my computer and I didn’t mind my ex on my computer until everything became a signal for me being the uber-cheat. A paper with my and a females name on it? I’m fucking her. A song that doesn’t fit with the rest of them? I’m fucking her. A name on my ICQ (Old school!) that looked female? I am SO fucking her. It got fucking annoying. Don’t even get me started on my cell phone. Just because YOUR name is Sarah and I have four Sarah’s in my phone doesn’t mean I am fucking them. It means I know more people than just you. Being secretive with your stuff sometimes is just flat out easier than dealing with the nonsense that comes with unmitigated jealousy from the other party. Oh, and never have her friends number in your cell phone because that shit just ends up bad, even if you did know her first. Just don’t or learn to deliver a pride-obliterating bitch slap to shut her up.
Nothing Fazes Him Anymore: Okay….someone read this and tell me if this makes sense?
“If he was short-tempered before, a combination of added sex and attention could be making him way more relaxed, even downright giddy,” Vranich says. Adds Mira Kirshenbaum, author of When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts and Minds of People in Two Relationships: “If your guy is suddenly going around all happy and whistling, then you need to find out why.”
So let me get this straight, if your boyfriend is happy….he must be cheating on you? That makes….perfect fucking sense IF YOU ARE A GOD DAMNED FUCKTARD! Understand, about 75% of men are simple creatures. A man will be happy because Adrian Peterson got him 22 points in his Fantasy Football League. So to automatically assume that because your man is whistling “Moving Right Along”:
Makes you a dumbass. When I read that statement, this is what it translated into:
“How DARE you be happy and it not have to do with me?! Nigga, who is you fuckin?!”
That sums it up; women believe a man’s happiness is based off of her and her happiness is based on him being happy to be with her. That was fucking deep, son!
He Becomes Suspicious of You: Double edged sword. As a man I have been on both sides. When I WASN’T suspicious she was pissed because she thought I didn’t care and I had found someone else because she said she wanted to be with her friends more and I didn’t fight it (You are an adult, act like one). Then I was smothering because of previous events (Drink = story. You know my fee) I was very concerned about where she was going and who she was going with and she thought I was being paranoid and didn’t trust her. Well, I DIDN’T trust her and she gave me good reason but that is beyond the point. The point is that suspicion is normal because at the end of the day we all loved Magnum PI and Miami Vice (To a lesser extent, Where In The World Is Carmen San Diego?) and want to find out a crime or in this case infidelity. However, to say that because he is suspicious of you means he is cheating is grounded in irrational thinking. Which is pretty much where women stick their flag like Europe did to the majority of the Western fucking Hemisphere but thems the breaks. I understand the concept but in the end the logic is flawed because to think that means that you are either a) looking for an excuse to think he is cheating or b) you are guilty yourself. The Chachi has spoken!
Man that was rather hilarious. Like I always say, Cosmo is to me what Fox News and MSNBS are to a near-center Liberal: constant comedy and a source of never-ending confusion and disappointment in your fellow human being. I will be back on Friday for the Countdown and may be back up this weekend before the Venture Brothers season finale. Until then, stay up peeps!
Chachi Out!
O_o
Okay, first off I am a dude. I could care less about this kind of stuff but it is showing up on the side of my email a lot so I am figuring I am totally gay or everyone thinks I am which makes me TOTALLY FUCKING GAY. Being the inquisitive chap I am (Using new vernacular. Working for you? Nothing?) I decided to click on the link and boy…it just got worse from there. Here are some “highlights” of this pinnacle of female sexual journalism:
Dare To….Create An Alter Ego
Okay, I could see how this could be hot….if you are a fucking super-villain. You are a woman which makes you not ABLE to be a super-villain because super-villany is awesome and you are NO Dr. Girlfriend. Or Miss Monarch, it all depends. Now as one who has been avoiding and been avoided by “teh sex” for several years now I really don’t get any of this bullshit about role playing unless it involves school girl and senpai. Or anything and senpai because I just want to be called that because that shit is HOT. If you need to create an alter ego to be a whore then you are faking the funk. Real whores are whore twenty-four seven and we appreciate them for it!
Dare To….Pump Up The Dirty Dialoge
Okay, this is one that I get but I don’t LIKE. It is kind of like Guy Ritchie movies. The concept of talking dirty SOUNDS like a good idea but if you are talking…then I am obviously putting work in the wrong hole if you get my drift. If women have nothing of value to say when sex ISN’T being had, what makes them think I care about what they have to say in the act of coitus? EPIC-ZING! I kid, I kid. In all seriousness, talking dirty does nothing because the more you talk, the less you are sucking. Which I hear dudes enjoy over hearing about anything you have to say. Ever. Not that I would know, the female gender is a being that is foreign, godless and scary to me. Like Turks with boobies.
Dare To…..Put On The Porn
Fuck you, bitch. Unless you are going to DO the horrible, horrible things that Sasha Grey, Belladonna and Ashley Blue do for my uni-lateral carnal gratification then I have no need to watch porn with you. It isn’t like we are watching “27 Dresses” here. The kind of porn I want to watch isn’t going to be what SHE wants to watch and as we all know, the numbers of women that know about good porn (That aren’t actually performing in them and may god bless them because they do just as much for our freedom as anyone else in this country) run in about the 15% range IF THAT. You see, also there is something to be said for the fact that women don’t really know what men find sexually attractive. Sexually AROUSING is simple because men get hard-ons at the sight of just about anything resembling boobs or the random touch in a bar or subway. There is a reason why fashion designers, porn directors and music video casting agents are all male: they know what men want. Men don’t want to see women kissing each other (Well….smart men don’t) because that is a waste of time. Men want to see chicks kissing THEM. So what women assume men like ends up being de facto true because most men are simple and are aroused by pretty much anything. The last thing I need is to be stuck watching porn with a girlfriend and she gets all freaked out because she finds “Behind The Green Door” arousing cinematic erotica while I want to watch “Big Wet Asses 11”:
Julia Bond, Cody Lane AND Sativa Rose? Now that is porn at its FINEST! Yet I know for a FACT that women freak out about that kind of porn because I have seen it firsthand. Buy me a drink and I will tell you the story; funny shit especially because she was Mormon. Anyway, I don’t believe in this but if there IS a lady that is down to watch “Ass Worship 9” or “Invasian 2” holla at yo boy. I gots them both on the A-V-I.
Article #2: Do Guys Find You Intriguing?
Well, let’s look at this honestly. All men find all women intriguing. Just for different reasons. Men and their interest in women break down like this:
75% of men find what is in between your legs intriguing, and it could be anyone….not just you.
10% of men PRETEND to find you intriguing because they want what is between your legs but don’t want to be an uber-tool about it.
10% of men are gay and couldn’t give a fuck about you. Gay dudes rule, the Romans knew it, the Greeks knew it, Tom Cruise knows it and now you do. They are festive!
5% of men are dumbfounded by your stupidity and disgusted by your lack of common sense and self respect….but you are the only viable option aside from other dudes (The world frowns on collie/man relationships)
The numbers could be off….but they are not. The Chachi has spoken!
Article #3: How To Tell If A Guy Is Cheating
So I remember once that Zach was telling me about a conversation he had in class (Odds are women’s studies) and a student said that females cheating in a relationship is justified because the odds are that a man will do it anyway. It was mind-blowing because two years earlier I heard that SAME FUCKING ARGUMENT in college and I wondered if women were really that lacking in common sense? Well, the past years have proven that answer to be yes because I have had to deal with no less than five female friends deciding that cheating was a viable option for THEM because they were hurt or unfulfilled or just plain whores (I believe all three but I am just a man…A man of awesomeness!) but if her significant other did it to them then he was the biggest cad since John Edwards. Now basic logic should state that if you feel the need to cheat then you shouldn’t be exclusively with someone in the first fucking place. End of story. If you can’t trust your partner and have to look for signs of their infidelity then the same goes for you, fucky. As I read this article, everything seemed like such a reach that it was like women intentionally look for signs that their boyfriend is cheating so they can justify cheating themselves. I mean honestly:
Grooming: Um…..I try to stay as manicured and fresh dressed as possible. As a big dude it isn’t easy but I make do with what I got. Now as for the trimming of the pubes….who the fuck doesn’t? No one wants to look like they have New Zealand in their fucking pants. Maybe women should follow that rule too….just a thought.
Super-protective of their Gadgets: Understand this right now. I don’t mind people on my computer and I didn’t mind my ex on my computer until everything became a signal for me being the uber-cheat. A paper with my and a females name on it? I’m fucking her. A song that doesn’t fit with the rest of them? I’m fucking her. A name on my ICQ (Old school!) that looked female? I am SO fucking her. It got fucking annoying. Don’t even get me started on my cell phone. Just because YOUR name is Sarah and I have four Sarah’s in my phone doesn’t mean I am fucking them. It means I know more people than just you. Being secretive with your stuff sometimes is just flat out easier than dealing with the nonsense that comes with unmitigated jealousy from the other party. Oh, and never have her friends number in your cell phone because that shit just ends up bad, even if you did know her first. Just don’t or learn to deliver a pride-obliterating bitch slap to shut her up.
Nothing Fazes Him Anymore: Okay….someone read this and tell me if this makes sense?
“If he was short-tempered before, a combination of added sex and attention could be making him way more relaxed, even downright giddy,” Vranich says. Adds Mira Kirshenbaum, author of When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts and Minds of People in Two Relationships: “If your guy is suddenly going around all happy and whistling, then you need to find out why.”
So let me get this straight, if your boyfriend is happy….he must be cheating on you? That makes….perfect fucking sense IF YOU ARE A GOD DAMNED FUCKTARD! Understand, about 75% of men are simple creatures. A man will be happy because Adrian Peterson got him 22 points in his Fantasy Football League. So to automatically assume that because your man is whistling “Moving Right Along”:
Makes you a dumbass. When I read that statement, this is what it translated into:
“How DARE you be happy and it not have to do with me?! Nigga, who is you fuckin?!”
That sums it up; women believe a man’s happiness is based off of her and her happiness is based on him being happy to be with her. That was fucking deep, son!
He Becomes Suspicious of You: Double edged sword. As a man I have been on both sides. When I WASN’T suspicious she was pissed because she thought I didn’t care and I had found someone else because she said she wanted to be with her friends more and I didn’t fight it (You are an adult, act like one). Then I was smothering because of previous events (Drink = story. You know my fee) I was very concerned about where she was going and who she was going with and she thought I was being paranoid and didn’t trust her. Well, I DIDN’T trust her and she gave me good reason but that is beyond the point. The point is that suspicion is normal because at the end of the day we all loved Magnum PI and Miami Vice (To a lesser extent, Where In The World Is Carmen San Diego?) and want to find out a crime or in this case infidelity. However, to say that because he is suspicious of you means he is cheating is grounded in irrational thinking. Which is pretty much where women stick their flag like Europe did to the majority of the Western fucking Hemisphere but thems the breaks. I understand the concept but in the end the logic is flawed because to think that means that you are either a) looking for an excuse to think he is cheating or b) you are guilty yourself. The Chachi has spoken!
Man that was rather hilarious. Like I always say, Cosmo is to me what Fox News and MSNBS are to a near-center Liberal: constant comedy and a source of never-ending confusion and disappointment in your fellow human being. I will be back on Friday for the Countdown and may be back up this weekend before the Venture Brothers season finale. Until then, stay up peeps!
Chachi Out!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
I Used To Think It Was Funny...Until It Happend To Me.
What is up, ya'll? I am back once again (I spoil you all. I really do) with a new post and more shit that pisses me off. And awaaaaaaaaaaaaaay we go!
Things I Hate Right Now
1. The Duck Face/Trout Pout
Not sure WHY women do it, not sure WHY bros do it, not sure when this and the “rawk” symbol (Or “the shocker” which is no longer shocking after watching Japanese and German porn. Trust me; they do shit that makes the shocker seem like a firm handshake) or gang signs became popular to put on your MySpace or cell phone but stop it. You look like a fucktard and really make me happy that you get the shit kicked out of you by a musclebound asstard with a barbed wire tattoo and the brain capacity of a drunken marmot. I am not sure what makes women go from zero to trollop whore when a camera comes on but you cannot bitch about being treated poorly if you can’t do the simple action of smiling for a camera without looking like a drunken fuckwit. Seriously, stop that shit. Speaking of stupid shit…
2. People That Don’t Find Pedo Bear Funny
Seriously, look at that face! Does that cuddly bear look like a child molester to you? You are fucking right he does. I told you 10 years ago bears aren’t to be trusted and now look. They are kidnapping your daughters and having dirty bears sex with them. Pedo bear is ravishing your young daughter like Rob Lowe would do if you left her window open. Now some of you will say that I wouldn’t find Pedo Bear funny if I had a daughter but I don’t so he is fucking hilarious. They also said I would find “thirtysomething” funny once I got almost thirty but here we are and I am sure that show still sucks ass. Pedo Bear for President in 2008!
3. Date Rape
Maybe it is because I don’t go out on dates very often (Like….three in 2008 but I swore off women at the beginning of this year so that is all based off women asking me which I don’t like because it shows they haven’t taken the time out to look and see I am FUCKING INSANE and should run as far as humanly possible) or maybe that sex is the fifth most important thing I think about from a woman but I honestly have never understood date rape because I can tell a rapist from a mile away. You see this guy?
Rapist. Look at that forehead. Just SCREAMS he wants to take your virtue.
This guy?
Not a rapist. Quite the handsome fellow dare I say. And quite the dancer!
Simple. Now I am not trying to trivialize the act of date rape. I AM trivializing the act of date rape because if you are on a first date with someone and you get drunk enough to get into a situation where you are on your back (I don’t think it’s rape if you are on top. That’s….just not) with your legs akimbo then shit was going wrong well before that. Now maybe I am looking at this from the standpoint of a man and woman going out together, taking her back to her place (Because raping a woman in your home is just the dumbest shit I ever heard of. I mean….what the fuck?!) and then pinning her down and taking the pussy like Pepe but that just seems illogical. If you let him into your room….what the fuck?! Listen, rapists are like vampires. You have to INVITE THEM IN before they can attack you! Once they come in and attack you, it is well within your right to stab them in the heart with a stake. It’s in the Constitution AND the Bible so you know that shit is true. I honestly believe that once you are dumb enough to let a man into your room (Forcing himself in is breaking and entering and against the law. Congrats, the dipshit is going to jail and he should) it is like letting a lion into your room….and you bathed in zebra. I am not going to go into the Zebra Theory because you know it and if you don’t you should read up on it because it helps you avoid a lot of shit. Now “date rape” has been used to group in the act which I call “Casual Acquaintance Rape” which from my experience of talking to women about the subject is about 65%-70% (Not scientific numbers, just my observation) of rapes classified as “date rapes” which are pretty much like this:
Um…that’s not date rape. That is men and women being fucking retards. I always say that two drunk people fucking isn’t rape, it is TWO DRUNK PEOPLE FUCKING! Congratulations, you are a whore and he is a fucktard. You know, two drunken people fucking are like two drunk drivers getting into an accident. Who is to blame if both are drunk?
• The person with the lower BAC?
• The person on the right side of the road?
• The Asian because we know that they can’t drive? (I KID! I love Initial D!)
Neither. They are both at fault, they pay the damages for the cars and they lose their fucking licenses. I think it should be the same for two drunken people having sex. You chalk it up as a loss and charge it to the game. You cannot decide after the fact that you DIDN’T want to have sex if NEITHER ONE OF YOU were in your right minds to be having “teh sex” anyway. Guess what? You learned a valuable life lesson: don’t drink like a dumbass or you might get pwned. I have drank my fair share and blacked out a time or two (Maybe three, but I believe it is two) and I blame no one but myself. And whoever invented mojitos because them shits en masse can GET YOU DRUNK. Even still, I cannot say that the things I did or said drunk weren’t in line with my actions in the same situation sober. But I will say that I learned to never do that shit again, though.
At the end of the day, rape is rape. My stance or argument has never been that rape ISN’T rape because even if you are out a 2am in a nice car with your windows down with your hypeman on your roof “making it rain” with stack of $20’s while you blare out “Money Ain’t A Thang” by Jay-Z and Jermaine Dupri and you get jacked….no matter how much of a fucktard you were and you brought that shit into your zone….it is still robbery and it is still a tragedy. Not the ending of “Grave Of The Fireflies” tragedy but still.
Well, I am out for now. America’s Best Dance Crew Finale on Thursday!! Until then, the party continues peeps!
Kicking it old school, mofos!
Chachi Out!
Things I Hate Right Now
1. The Duck Face/Trout Pout
Not sure WHY women do it, not sure WHY bros do it, not sure when this and the “rawk” symbol (Or “the shocker” which is no longer shocking after watching Japanese and German porn. Trust me; they do shit that makes the shocker seem like a firm handshake) or gang signs became popular to put on your MySpace or cell phone but stop it. You look like a fucktard and really make me happy that you get the shit kicked out of you by a musclebound asstard with a barbed wire tattoo and the brain capacity of a drunken marmot. I am not sure what makes women go from zero to trollop whore when a camera comes on but you cannot bitch about being treated poorly if you can’t do the simple action of smiling for a camera without looking like a drunken fuckwit. Seriously, stop that shit. Speaking of stupid shit…
2. People That Don’t Find Pedo Bear Funny
Seriously, look at that face! Does that cuddly bear look like a child molester to you? You are fucking right he does. I told you 10 years ago bears aren’t to be trusted and now look. They are kidnapping your daughters and having dirty bears sex with them. Pedo bear is ravishing your young daughter like Rob Lowe would do if you left her window open. Now some of you will say that I wouldn’t find Pedo Bear funny if I had a daughter but I don’t so he is fucking hilarious. They also said I would find “thirtysomething” funny once I got almost thirty but here we are and I am sure that show still sucks ass. Pedo Bear for President in 2008!
3. Date Rape
Maybe it is because I don’t go out on dates very often (Like….three in 2008 but I swore off women at the beginning of this year so that is all based off women asking me which I don’t like because it shows they haven’t taken the time out to look and see I am FUCKING INSANE and should run as far as humanly possible) or maybe that sex is the fifth most important thing I think about from a woman but I honestly have never understood date rape because I can tell a rapist from a mile away. You see this guy?
Rapist. Look at that forehead. Just SCREAMS he wants to take your virtue.
This guy?
Not a rapist. Quite the handsome fellow dare I say. And quite the dancer!
Simple. Now I am not trying to trivialize the act of date rape. I AM trivializing the act of date rape because if you are on a first date with someone and you get drunk enough to get into a situation where you are on your back (I don’t think it’s rape if you are on top. That’s….just not) with your legs akimbo then shit was going wrong well before that. Now maybe I am looking at this from the standpoint of a man and woman going out together, taking her back to her place (Because raping a woman in your home is just the dumbest shit I ever heard of. I mean….what the fuck?!) and then pinning her down and taking the pussy like Pepe but that just seems illogical. If you let him into your room….what the fuck?! Listen, rapists are like vampires. You have to INVITE THEM IN before they can attack you! Once they come in and attack you, it is well within your right to stab them in the heart with a stake. It’s in the Constitution AND the Bible so you know that shit is true. I honestly believe that once you are dumb enough to let a man into your room (Forcing himself in is breaking and entering and against the law. Congrats, the dipshit is going to jail and he should) it is like letting a lion into your room….and you bathed in zebra. I am not going to go into the Zebra Theory because you know it and if you don’t you should read up on it because it helps you avoid a lot of shit. Now “date rape” has been used to group in the act which I call “Casual Acquaintance Rape” which from my experience of talking to women about the subject is about 65%-70% (Not scientific numbers, just my observation) of rapes classified as “date rapes” which are pretty much like this:
Um…that’s not date rape. That is men and women being fucking retards. I always say that two drunk people fucking isn’t rape, it is TWO DRUNK PEOPLE FUCKING! Congratulations, you are a whore and he is a fucktard. You know, two drunken people fucking are like two drunk drivers getting into an accident. Who is to blame if both are drunk?
• The person with the lower BAC?
• The person on the right side of the road?
• The Asian because we know that they can’t drive? (I KID! I love Initial D!)
Neither. They are both at fault, they pay the damages for the cars and they lose their fucking licenses. I think it should be the same for two drunken people having sex. You chalk it up as a loss and charge it to the game. You cannot decide after the fact that you DIDN’T want to have sex if NEITHER ONE OF YOU were in your right minds to be having “teh sex” anyway. Guess what? You learned a valuable life lesson: don’t drink like a dumbass or you might get pwned. I have drank my fair share and blacked out a time or two (Maybe three, but I believe it is two) and I blame no one but myself. And whoever invented mojitos because them shits en masse can GET YOU DRUNK. Even still, I cannot say that the things I did or said drunk weren’t in line with my actions in the same situation sober. But I will say that I learned to never do that shit again, though.
At the end of the day, rape is rape. My stance or argument has never been that rape ISN’T rape because even if you are out a 2am in a nice car with your windows down with your hypeman on your roof “making it rain” with stack of $20’s while you blare out “Money Ain’t A Thang” by Jay-Z and Jermaine Dupri and you get jacked….no matter how much of a fucktard you were and you brought that shit into your zone….it is still robbery and it is still a tragedy. Not the ending of “Grave Of The Fireflies” tragedy but still.
Well, I am out for now. America’s Best Dance Crew Finale on Thursday!! Until then, the party continues peeps!
Kicking it old school, mofos!
Chachi Out!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
Every Time A Baby Smiles, I Die A Little Bit Inside.
What is up people? It has been a while since I have been on the scene and I have to apologize for that. Last week was hectic as all fuck but it is over now and hopefully as will me being pissed off 24/7. With that being said, I will try to be up more often. I know I have fans (All…six of you. But you are all awesome!) and I have not been meeting your demands. So because of that…
I LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY
Yeah, I am going to bring that back. I actually learned a lot of something’s today and last week.
1. America Is Fucking Stupid: So for the last two Thursday’s I have been hanging out with Young Copper and Gary watching “The Dresden Files” and drinking soju and beer. First off: FUCKING AWESOME. Second off, why in the hell was The Dresden Files cancelled but that Charlie Sheen show is still on the air? It seems like the more awesome the show (Clone High, Undergrads, Pushing Daisies, In Case Of Emergency, MOTHER FUCKING SCRUBS!) the less people watch it. It isn’t shocking as much as it is a statement on how fucking worthless most of you are. I am saying it right now: if you watch any TV show on MTV that ISN’T “America’s Best Dance Crew” then you should be shot in the face. Seriously, you are worthy of death because if you reproduce you will be flooding the world with worthless shits that you call kids but I call “dumbers of the gene pool” and that is one thing America doesn’t need: more fucking idiots. I blame you for there being no new episodes of The Dresden Files, America. I also blame you for every Nelly album. I hate all of you and I am going to Canada. At least they still have Bryan Adams:
Man, that song is SO GAY but it is still better than anything Celine Dion ever did. I so went there.
2. True Friends Are A Dying Breed: Now I for one have been the only person on the face of the planet that felt that I should treat all my friends the same whether male or female. That has left me with a slim number of female friends because I don’t think that it is a privilege to be able to hang around them (Honestly, on this one. If I had more than three female friends that offered more than the whole “I’m a chick and you get to hang out with me!” side of a friendship, I would talk to them a lot more. Think about that one. Get a personality then we can hang) and an even SLIMMER number of male friends because I don’t like “teh sports” or “teh titties” all that much and would rather watch “In Bruges” than talk about bitches. I can hang out with Copper or Zach or Joey or Griff without any incident…aside from me just being an asshole but they are too and that’s why we are boys. Now I would figure that I could treat my female friends the exact same way but minus two (And you know who you are. You rock) they get very pissy when I say the things I would say around my best friends. Now first off, if you don’t know that I say things that are offensive you are a fucking idiot because I put my opinions out front from jump street. Secondly, quit being such a fucking cunt about things that are funny and stop acting like you are too good to be at the level of everyone else. I treat my friends all the same except for Griff due to tenure. I mean if you are my friend for 15+ years, you have earned my respect and I will accept that there are some topics that I will shy away from. Understand this: just because you are a woman doesn’t mean I give a fuck what you think. As a matter of fact, if you are a woman and not one that I respect then I couldn’t give a fuck what you think and whatever you say is just jibber-jabber. It is the same with men I don’t respect but from my experience men don’t decide that they should be treated differently because they think that the dynamic has changed. If you are a friend, you are a friend whether you are a dude or a chick. The next person that tells me that men and women can’t be friends is getting shot. If you can’t check your libido or your preconceived notions/dumbass attitudes about how a male/female dynamic should be long enough to see the opposite sex as more than a gullyhole or a filler of said gullyhole then you are a fuckwit. Besides, how can we be lovers if we cant be friends?
Simple, NEVER LISTEN TO MICHAEL BOLTON. Creepy-ass old dude.
3. White People, Just Say No To Nigger: It is that fucking simple. Unless you are quoting a rap song or are just a dipshit, there shouldn’t be a reason for the word to be in your fucking vocabulary anyway. I don’t care if Black people say it all the time and I don’t care if your Black friend said it was cool. Fuck that fucker. As racist as I am, I think I have said “heeb” maybe twice in my lifetime. TWICE. Now I say “covetous Jew” as often as I say “skullfuck” (Which has been a lot in 2008 for some reason) but “heeb” is a racial epitaph just as much as “nigger” is so I rarely if ever say it. Whyh? BECAUSE THERE IS NO REASON TO SAY IT! I don’t find it necessary to call my Jewish friends “My heebs” or my Mexican friends “My spics” or my Italian friends “My stupid, swarthy Wop degos.” There is no need to. So there is an easy way to understand the Black people saying nigger phenomenon: they are stupid. Just let it the fuck go. Yes you can say it but you shouldn’t have a fucking reason to. Crazy ass crackers.
Well, that is all for now. It is like totally bed time. I will be back on Tuesday (Maybe Wednesday). Until then, stay up my heeb-bros.
Chachi Out.
I LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY
Yeah, I am going to bring that back. I actually learned a lot of something’s today and last week.
1. America Is Fucking Stupid: So for the last two Thursday’s I have been hanging out with Young Copper and Gary watching “The Dresden Files” and drinking soju and beer. First off: FUCKING AWESOME. Second off, why in the hell was The Dresden Files cancelled but that Charlie Sheen show is still on the air? It seems like the more awesome the show (Clone High, Undergrads, Pushing Daisies, In Case Of Emergency, MOTHER FUCKING SCRUBS!) the less people watch it. It isn’t shocking as much as it is a statement on how fucking worthless most of you are. I am saying it right now: if you watch any TV show on MTV that ISN’T “America’s Best Dance Crew” then you should be shot in the face. Seriously, you are worthy of death because if you reproduce you will be flooding the world with worthless shits that you call kids but I call “dumbers of the gene pool” and that is one thing America doesn’t need: more fucking idiots. I blame you for there being no new episodes of The Dresden Files, America. I also blame you for every Nelly album. I hate all of you and I am going to Canada. At least they still have Bryan Adams:
Man, that song is SO GAY but it is still better than anything Celine Dion ever did. I so went there.
2. True Friends Are A Dying Breed: Now I for one have been the only person on the face of the planet that felt that I should treat all my friends the same whether male or female. That has left me with a slim number of female friends because I don’t think that it is a privilege to be able to hang around them (Honestly, on this one. If I had more than three female friends that offered more than the whole “I’m a chick and you get to hang out with me!” side of a friendship, I would talk to them a lot more. Think about that one. Get a personality then we can hang) and an even SLIMMER number of male friends because I don’t like “teh sports” or “teh titties” all that much and would rather watch “In Bruges” than talk about bitches. I can hang out with Copper or Zach or Joey or Griff without any incident…aside from me just being an asshole but they are too and that’s why we are boys. Now I would figure that I could treat my female friends the exact same way but minus two (And you know who you are. You rock) they get very pissy when I say the things I would say around my best friends. Now first off, if you don’t know that I say things that are offensive you are a fucking idiot because I put my opinions out front from jump street. Secondly, quit being such a fucking cunt about things that are funny and stop acting like you are too good to be at the level of everyone else. I treat my friends all the same except for Griff due to tenure. I mean if you are my friend for 15+ years, you have earned my respect and I will accept that there are some topics that I will shy away from. Understand this: just because you are a woman doesn’t mean I give a fuck what you think. As a matter of fact, if you are a woman and not one that I respect then I couldn’t give a fuck what you think and whatever you say is just jibber-jabber. It is the same with men I don’t respect but from my experience men don’t decide that they should be treated differently because they think that the dynamic has changed. If you are a friend, you are a friend whether you are a dude or a chick. The next person that tells me that men and women can’t be friends is getting shot. If you can’t check your libido or your preconceived notions/dumbass attitudes about how a male/female dynamic should be long enough to see the opposite sex as more than a gullyhole or a filler of said gullyhole then you are a fuckwit. Besides, how can we be lovers if we cant be friends?
Simple, NEVER LISTEN TO MICHAEL BOLTON. Creepy-ass old dude.
3. White People, Just Say No To Nigger: It is that fucking simple. Unless you are quoting a rap song or are just a dipshit, there shouldn’t be a reason for the word to be in your fucking vocabulary anyway. I don’t care if Black people say it all the time and I don’t care if your Black friend said it was cool. Fuck that fucker. As racist as I am, I think I have said “heeb” maybe twice in my lifetime. TWICE. Now I say “covetous Jew” as often as I say “skullfuck” (Which has been a lot in 2008 for some reason) but “heeb” is a racial epitaph just as much as “nigger” is so I rarely if ever say it. Whyh? BECAUSE THERE IS NO REASON TO SAY IT! I don’t find it necessary to call my Jewish friends “My heebs” or my Mexican friends “My spics” or my Italian friends “My stupid, swarthy Wop degos.” There is no need to. So there is an easy way to understand the Black people saying nigger phenomenon: they are stupid. Just let it the fuck go. Yes you can say it but you shouldn’t have a fucking reason to. Crazy ass crackers.
Well, that is all for now. It is like totally bed time. I will be back on Tuesday (Maybe Wednesday). Until then, stay up my heeb-bros.
Chachi Out.
Friday, August 15, 2008
It Is Crowded At The Top...
What is up people?! IT IS OFFICIALLY FALL! Get out your bomber jackets and lets talk a walk! Before that, let’s check out the Friday staple….
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
Let’s get this party started!
20. YA-KYIM – Super Looper (Last Week #17, Three Weeks at #1)
It looks like YA-KYIM is having their death knell. After over FOUR MONTHS on the Countdown this trio looks to finally fall off the chart. Very good year and looking for something new for them.
19. CHEMISTRY – Life Goes On (New Entry)
IT IS ABOUT DAMN TIME! CHEMISTRY has their first ever video on the Countdown after like…a millennia of kick ass music! Listen to some Gundam endings and you will recognize their greatness. This video just exudes the awesomeness of the 80’s and all I have to say is hells yeah!
18. Chris Brown - Forever (Last Week #15)
On the flipside, Chris Brown looks to be spending his final days on the Countdown as well. It was a pretty good summer for him but with fall around the corner it looks like his dominance has come to an end. Also….DOUBLEMINT GUM COMMERCIAL?! FUCK THAT!
17. FLOW – WORLD END (Last Week #20)
Just got the single a few seconds ago and all I have to say is that there is a reason these guys RAWK YOUR FACE. Love this video, and got the karaoke of it too so I am learning them words!
16. Seamo feat Ayuse Kozue - Honey (Last Week #14)
Looks like Seamo’s upward mobility has stalled as he falls back two spots this week. Pretty good year and a great turnaround from my distain of him previously.
15. New Kids On The Block - Summertime (Last Week #16)
Totally going to their concert in November. Anyone else down?
14. Usher – Moving Mountains (Last Week #12)
Looks like the Summer of Usher is officially over. Gotta admit, you loved “Love In This Club” as much as everyone else. You know you did.
13. NERD feat Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pusha-T – Everybody Nose (Remix) (Last Week #18, Biggest Mover)
So is CRS the group of the year? Together they have dominated and individually they have owned and this video is no different. Although I have been rocking this for about two months, it still never gets old.
12. Paramore – That’s What You Get (Last Week #10, Two Weeks at #1)
For the first time since May, Paramore is not in the Top 10! Been a big year for them and even though I missed them when they were up in Denver I am not upset. A little sad, but not upset.
11. Fonzworth Bentley feat. Andre 3000 – Everybody [Don’t Stop] (Last Week #13)
Yeah, I am just as shocked as you are. But look here as Fonzworth Bentley is one step away from the Top 10. Who fricking knew? Still upset I rarely see this video on TV though because it is one of the few that doesn’t piss me off.
10. Game feat Keisha Cole – Pain (Last Week #8, One Week at #1)
We begin the upper half with the first number one video for Game. “My Life” with Lil’ Wayne should be out any minute now because….they have a behind the scenes video out. THE BEHIND THE SCENES VIDEO IS LONGER THAN THE SONG?! God….no sense whatsoever.
9. Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On (Last Week #11)
Jeezy moves into the Top 10 for the second time in 2008! Kanya tags along on what may be the biggest hip hop track of the year so far. Yes….Jezzy has the hottest song of the year so far. I think my brain just collapsed on itself.
8. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Hot Limit (Last Week #4, Two Weeks at #1)
After finally taking the top spot, HAMC fall four big spots this week. Can they follow up the success of this video in the fall? We will have to see, because this was awesome.
7. RBD - Empezar Desde Cero (Last Week #9)
Say hello to my new ringback tone! Yes, my ringback is in Spanish, my ringtone is in Swedish (Or some Nordic country) and my favorite song is in Korean. Yeah, I’m a pretty fucked up cat.
6. Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl (Last Week #7)
Miss Hyori is moving on up! Can I just say that she REALLY needs to eat something? Now it is getting hella scary as my baby boo is unhealthily skinny. And I don’t believe in that. Also, that dance segment in the middle isn’t as annoying as it used to be. And it was ANNOYING.
5. Yui – Summer Song (Last Week #6)
Well another day, another Yui video in the Top Five. Can this video finally break the streak of no number one videos? It has been over a year, Yui! Make it happen!
4. Ikimono-Gakari - Bluebird (Last Week #2)
After almost beating out Wonder Girls for number one last week, Ikimono-Gakari falls two spots this week! It was a hell of a run this time out but in the end, Naruto couldn’t top Bleach once again. Life imitates art. We are down to three!
3. Kelun – CHU-BURA (Last Week #5)
We begin with familiar territory for Kelun as they get their send Top Three video of 2008! With the Bleach factor (Three number one videos) working for them, Kelun is pressing hard for the number one video. Speaking of number one, who is number one? Well…we have…
A TIE
1.Wonder Girls – So Hot (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1) & T.I. – No Matter What (Last Week #3, One Week at #1)
For the second time ever and the first time in just under a year and a half, we have a tie for the number one spot! First it was Daughtry’s “It’s Not Over” and John Legend’s “P.D.A. (We Just Don’t Care)” tying for number one. This time, it is the reigning champs Wonder Girls spending their second week at number one and T.I. reclaiming his throne as the King of the Countdown! It gives T.I. his first number one in over almost two years and his third overall while Wonder Girls continues their dominance. It was a weird week and this just tops it all off. Congrats to both T.I. and the Wonder Girls!
That is all for this week! Tune in next week to see if we will have a SINGULAR number one video! Will T.I. continue his regien? Or will the Wonder Girls make it a third week on top? Or can Kelun trump both of them and bring back the “Bleach Bump?” Tune in seven days from now to see!
Well, I am out of this piece. Until next time, stay up.
Chachi Out
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
Let’s get this party started!
20. YA-KYIM – Super Looper (Last Week #17, Three Weeks at #1)
It looks like YA-KYIM is having their death knell. After over FOUR MONTHS on the Countdown this trio looks to finally fall off the chart. Very good year and looking for something new for them.
19. CHEMISTRY – Life Goes On (New Entry)
IT IS ABOUT DAMN TIME! CHEMISTRY has their first ever video on the Countdown after like…a millennia of kick ass music! Listen to some Gundam endings and you will recognize their greatness. This video just exudes the awesomeness of the 80’s and all I have to say is hells yeah!
18. Chris Brown - Forever (Last Week #15)
On the flipside, Chris Brown looks to be spending his final days on the Countdown as well. It was a pretty good summer for him but with fall around the corner it looks like his dominance has come to an end. Also….DOUBLEMINT GUM COMMERCIAL?! FUCK THAT!
17. FLOW – WORLD END (Last Week #20)
Just got the single a few seconds ago and all I have to say is that there is a reason these guys RAWK YOUR FACE. Love this video, and got the karaoke of it too so I am learning them words!
16. Seamo feat Ayuse Kozue - Honey (Last Week #14)
Looks like Seamo’s upward mobility has stalled as he falls back two spots this week. Pretty good year and a great turnaround from my distain of him previously.
15. New Kids On The Block - Summertime (Last Week #16)
Totally going to their concert in November. Anyone else down?
14. Usher – Moving Mountains (Last Week #12)
Looks like the Summer of Usher is officially over. Gotta admit, you loved “Love In This Club” as much as everyone else. You know you did.
13. NERD feat Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pusha-T – Everybody Nose (Remix) (Last Week #18, Biggest Mover)
So is CRS the group of the year? Together they have dominated and individually they have owned and this video is no different. Although I have been rocking this for about two months, it still never gets old.
12. Paramore – That’s What You Get (Last Week #10, Two Weeks at #1)
For the first time since May, Paramore is not in the Top 10! Been a big year for them and even though I missed them when they were up in Denver I am not upset. A little sad, but not upset.
11. Fonzworth Bentley feat. Andre 3000 – Everybody [Don’t Stop] (Last Week #13)
Yeah, I am just as shocked as you are. But look here as Fonzworth Bentley is one step away from the Top 10. Who fricking knew? Still upset I rarely see this video on TV though because it is one of the few that doesn’t piss me off.
10. Game feat Keisha Cole – Pain (Last Week #8, One Week at #1)
We begin the upper half with the first number one video for Game. “My Life” with Lil’ Wayne should be out any minute now because….they have a behind the scenes video out. THE BEHIND THE SCENES VIDEO IS LONGER THAN THE SONG?! God….no sense whatsoever.
9. Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On (Last Week #11)
Jeezy moves into the Top 10 for the second time in 2008! Kanya tags along on what may be the biggest hip hop track of the year so far. Yes….Jezzy has the hottest song of the year so far. I think my brain just collapsed on itself.
8. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Hot Limit (Last Week #4, Two Weeks at #1)
After finally taking the top spot, HAMC fall four big spots this week. Can they follow up the success of this video in the fall? We will have to see, because this was awesome.
7. RBD - Empezar Desde Cero (Last Week #9)
Say hello to my new ringback tone! Yes, my ringback is in Spanish, my ringtone is in Swedish (Or some Nordic country) and my favorite song is in Korean. Yeah, I’m a pretty fucked up cat.
6. Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl (Last Week #7)
Miss Hyori is moving on up! Can I just say that she REALLY needs to eat something? Now it is getting hella scary as my baby boo is unhealthily skinny. And I don’t believe in that. Also, that dance segment in the middle isn’t as annoying as it used to be. And it was ANNOYING.
5. Yui – Summer Song (Last Week #6)
Well another day, another Yui video in the Top Five. Can this video finally break the streak of no number one videos? It has been over a year, Yui! Make it happen!
4. Ikimono-Gakari - Bluebird (Last Week #2)
After almost beating out Wonder Girls for number one last week, Ikimono-Gakari falls two spots this week! It was a hell of a run this time out but in the end, Naruto couldn’t top Bleach once again. Life imitates art. We are down to three!
3. Kelun – CHU-BURA (Last Week #5)
We begin with familiar territory for Kelun as they get their send Top Three video of 2008! With the Bleach factor (Three number one videos) working for them, Kelun is pressing hard for the number one video. Speaking of number one, who is number one? Well…we have…
A TIE
1.Wonder Girls – So Hot (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1) & T.I. – No Matter What (Last Week #3, One Week at #1)
For the second time ever and the first time in just under a year and a half, we have a tie for the number one spot! First it was Daughtry’s “It’s Not Over” and John Legend’s “P.D.A. (We Just Don’t Care)” tying for number one. This time, it is the reigning champs Wonder Girls spending their second week at number one and T.I. reclaiming his throne as the King of the Countdown! It gives T.I. his first number one in over almost two years and his third overall while Wonder Girls continues their dominance. It was a weird week and this just tops it all off. Congrats to both T.I. and the Wonder Girls!
That is all for this week! Tune in next week to see if we will have a SINGULAR number one video! Will T.I. continue his regien? Or will the Wonder Girls make it a third week on top? Or can Kelun trump both of them and bring back the “Bleach Bump?” Tune in seven days from now to see!
Well, I am out of this piece. Until next time, stay up.
Chachi Out
Monday, August 11, 2008
Every action in our lives touches on some chord that will vibrate in eternity.
What is up, people. This has been a rough two days as you all know. I busted up my thumb (Funny story…not so much) on Saturday and I aint going to lie. It hurts like eight bitches in a bitch boat but if I want to be Kappa Phi Koopa I gotta tough it up! Secondly, Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes both died this weekend. Isaac Hayes had gone through some rough health times after his stroke but I am still saddened to see him go. Bernie Mac on the other hand was funny as all hell and I will miss him as a comedian. It is hard to be so vulgar and yet be funny. I wont call him Richard Pryor or George Carlin but he was close. Man, 2008 has sucked teh balls. Rest in peace, both of you.
Well, with the Olympic games having begun it has become time for the whole “we are all Americans and should be proud” bullshit to begin. You know, I have nothing against pride but I kind of despise patriotism. Because a lot of you dipshits use it as a reason to be prejudiced pricks against other races, ethnicities and creeds. You are a bunch of god damned pussies. I am a racist 24/7 against everyone. All year, every day like the US Postal Service. Unlike that unreliable and swarthy Italian postal service. Here-a is-a your mail-a! Pasta eating, no war winning greasy guidos. So with that being said, I can honestly say that I haven’t cared about the Olympics since I came back to the states in 1992. Mostly because when I was in Italy the summer games were going on in Barcelona so I was a lot closer to the action and the news coverage was like only an hour behind rather than seven or eight. However, after that I really didn’t watch the Olympics with much interest anymore. It is a shame because when I was younger, I vaguely remember the 1984 Olympics (And man to I mean VAGUELY. It was playing while we were moving from Germany to New York that summer) and I was all over the 1988 Olympics as it was all we could really watch when we first moved to Italy and were in the pencions. However, we all know about what happened there (And if you don’t, read a fucking book. You are slowing down the progress here) and since then, the reputation of the American athlete and Americans as a whole in the global spectrum has fallen WAY OFF. Now say what you will about not caring what the world thinks but in the end, if you do your best and act as a excellent global citizen then you can shake off the haters if they still don’t like you. However, if you act like a prick then you will be looked at like a prick. And that is where America is now. The world thinks we are pricks and quite honestly, albeit many are calling the kettle black as they are douchey pots, they are dead on. Say what you will but you act like a dick and people will see you that way. I’m living proof. In other words, the Olympic games are rather important because:
• It is putting China great advancements and human rights deficiencies to the forefront.
• It is also a chance for America to rebuild their tarnished reputation of being bullies (Um…Iraq, anyone?), overrated (Dream Team 2004, anyone?) and cheaters (Marion Jones, anyone?).
• About 3 billion Chinese women all looking for love. Most are between the ages of 32-44 and of course under 21. Pedo bear would approve:
It’s only rape if you fight it, baby.
Now that I am sure I have offended SOMEONE with that last comment, let me finish up the last point by saying I hope all of you watch the Olympics this year and gets something out of it. Not sure what you will take away from it but hopefully it will be good. Or not….none of this matters anyway. I’m only watching for the gymnasts and basketball. Everybody got their something.
So I want to talk about something I rarely touch on when I blog but is a very important aspect in my total being, and that is video games. Now I don’t know if any of you heard about that kid in Thailand (I believe he was a kid. They are a small people and it is easy to mistake them for midgets) that killed a taxi driver and his reason for it was that he wanted to see if it was as easy to do in real life as it is in Grand Theft Auto IV. You see….this is why I hate mankind with a fucking passion. First off, the answer to if murder is easy is a resounding yes. We have all contemplated it, all thought about it and hell some of us even had plans on how we would do it. However, it isn’t whether the ACT is easy, it is whether GOING THROUGH the act is easy. Now I am not a moral or kind person by any means. You are reading work from a guy that fully endorses the Pedo Bear seal of approval, believes that rape is just sex the way God intended it, domestic violence is usually a just result of women not knowing when to shut up and tthat the easiest way to give reparations is give all the proceeds from Kool-Aid and menthol cigarettes to Blacks. If you don’t get that joke then get the hell out of my blog. However, I am all about logic when it comes to damn near everything I do. When you play GTA IV and you kill someone, you have a chance of two stars popping up on your wanted level. That automatically is a sign that there will be consequences for you actions and if you can’t grasp that at a respectable age then playing video games is the LEAST of your fucking problems.
It has officially come to pass that if you blame a video game, music, movie or TV show for anything you have done that is illegal, no matter what your age, that you should go to jail for being stupid. Seriously, kids are smarter than you think. Have you ever thought about the fact that when kids DO something wrong and they blame a video game for the fact that they were a dipshit and shouldn’t have been let out of the house without a beating in the first fucking place the responsibility shifts? How often are we subjected to violence in the news and on the streets? We can’t control what happens there, but you sure as tits can control what happens in your own goddamn house. If you don’t want your kids playing violent video games, don’t buy them. If their friends have them and you don’t want them playing with those games then they can’t play with those friends. Get the jelly out of your motherfucking spine and either tell them no or talk to them about what is going on. You think drug dealers don’t know dealing drugs is illegal? How about stealing cars? If they didn’t know, IT WOULDN’T BE CALLED STEALING, YOU FUCKWITS! So at what point can we chalk up video games being destructive when it is just ignorance and dipshittery in children and their lazy ass parents? I know times are hard but I grew up in the 80’s and Reganomics so I know financial struggle from a child’s prospective with both parents working. I still found the time to kill no one and commit no crimes…that I got caught for. Metal Gear helped with that one, by the way. I’M KIDDING! Long story short, if you are a parent buying you kid a game and there is a FELONY IN THE TITLE then you should be shot in the face or have your reproductive organs removed because you do not deserve the right to have children. It is like Idiocracy in real life. Electrolytes, bitches!
The fact that people STILL have the audacity after over THREE DECADES of gaming to blame them for any problems is pointless and shows that people have not gotten smarter since then which is making a dumber generation of children. I can’t believe that kids cannot differentiate between logical and illogical, let alone right and wrong. When you look at it morally things get skewed because religion will justify anything you do as “choosing for the right” (How is THAT for quasi-Nazism? Mormons have “CTW” but I have ”FTW” bitches!) but when you logically look at trying to emulate a video game it doesn’t make sense. If people STILL don’t get that then there is no hope for anything ever. The dumbening of the world continues at a rapid pace.
Although if logic prevailed, we could give all female children a copy of Cooking Mama for the Wii and they would end up being good housewives but….that shit won’t work. Although I PWN at that game! I am such a bitch.
Well, I am out for now. A rant HOPEFULLY at some point this week before Friday. May be the last full rant for a while, but in a good way. Until then, you all stay up.
Chachi Out.
Well, with the Olympic games having begun it has become time for the whole “we are all Americans and should be proud” bullshit to begin. You know, I have nothing against pride but I kind of despise patriotism. Because a lot of you dipshits use it as a reason to be prejudiced pricks against other races, ethnicities and creeds. You are a bunch of god damned pussies. I am a racist 24/7 against everyone. All year, every day like the US Postal Service. Unlike that unreliable and swarthy Italian postal service. Here-a is-a your mail-a! Pasta eating, no war winning greasy guidos. So with that being said, I can honestly say that I haven’t cared about the Olympics since I came back to the states in 1992. Mostly because when I was in Italy the summer games were going on in Barcelona so I was a lot closer to the action and the news coverage was like only an hour behind rather than seven or eight. However, after that I really didn’t watch the Olympics with much interest anymore. It is a shame because when I was younger, I vaguely remember the 1984 Olympics (And man to I mean VAGUELY. It was playing while we were moving from Germany to New York that summer) and I was all over the 1988 Olympics as it was all we could really watch when we first moved to Italy and were in the pencions. However, we all know about what happened there (And if you don’t, read a fucking book. You are slowing down the progress here) and since then, the reputation of the American athlete and Americans as a whole in the global spectrum has fallen WAY OFF. Now say what you will about not caring what the world thinks but in the end, if you do your best and act as a excellent global citizen then you can shake off the haters if they still don’t like you. However, if you act like a prick then you will be looked at like a prick. And that is where America is now. The world thinks we are pricks and quite honestly, albeit many are calling the kettle black as they are douchey pots, they are dead on. Say what you will but you act like a dick and people will see you that way. I’m living proof. In other words, the Olympic games are rather important because:
• It is putting China great advancements and human rights deficiencies to the forefront.
• It is also a chance for America to rebuild their tarnished reputation of being bullies (Um…Iraq, anyone?), overrated (Dream Team 2004, anyone?) and cheaters (Marion Jones, anyone?).
• About 3 billion Chinese women all looking for love. Most are between the ages of 32-44 and of course under 21. Pedo bear would approve:
It’s only rape if you fight it, baby.
Now that I am sure I have offended SOMEONE with that last comment, let me finish up the last point by saying I hope all of you watch the Olympics this year and gets something out of it. Not sure what you will take away from it but hopefully it will be good. Or not….none of this matters anyway. I’m only watching for the gymnasts and basketball. Everybody got their something.
So I want to talk about something I rarely touch on when I blog but is a very important aspect in my total being, and that is video games. Now I don’t know if any of you heard about that kid in Thailand (I believe he was a kid. They are a small people and it is easy to mistake them for midgets) that killed a taxi driver and his reason for it was that he wanted to see if it was as easy to do in real life as it is in Grand Theft Auto IV. You see….this is why I hate mankind with a fucking passion. First off, the answer to if murder is easy is a resounding yes. We have all contemplated it, all thought about it and hell some of us even had plans on how we would do it. However, it isn’t whether the ACT is easy, it is whether GOING THROUGH the act is easy. Now I am not a moral or kind person by any means. You are reading work from a guy that fully endorses the Pedo Bear seal of approval, believes that rape is just sex the way God intended it, domestic violence is usually a just result of women not knowing when to shut up and tthat the easiest way to give reparations is give all the proceeds from Kool-Aid and menthol cigarettes to Blacks. If you don’t get that joke then get the hell out of my blog. However, I am all about logic when it comes to damn near everything I do. When you play GTA IV and you kill someone, you have a chance of two stars popping up on your wanted level. That automatically is a sign that there will be consequences for you actions and if you can’t grasp that at a respectable age then playing video games is the LEAST of your fucking problems.
It has officially come to pass that if you blame a video game, music, movie or TV show for anything you have done that is illegal, no matter what your age, that you should go to jail for being stupid. Seriously, kids are smarter than you think. Have you ever thought about the fact that when kids DO something wrong and they blame a video game for the fact that they were a dipshit and shouldn’t have been let out of the house without a beating in the first fucking place the responsibility shifts? How often are we subjected to violence in the news and on the streets? We can’t control what happens there, but you sure as tits can control what happens in your own goddamn house. If you don’t want your kids playing violent video games, don’t buy them. If their friends have them and you don’t want them playing with those games then they can’t play with those friends. Get the jelly out of your motherfucking spine and either tell them no or talk to them about what is going on. You think drug dealers don’t know dealing drugs is illegal? How about stealing cars? If they didn’t know, IT WOULDN’T BE CALLED STEALING, YOU FUCKWITS! So at what point can we chalk up video games being destructive when it is just ignorance and dipshittery in children and their lazy ass parents? I know times are hard but I grew up in the 80’s and Reganomics so I know financial struggle from a child’s prospective with both parents working. I still found the time to kill no one and commit no crimes…that I got caught for. Metal Gear helped with that one, by the way. I’M KIDDING! Long story short, if you are a parent buying you kid a game and there is a FELONY IN THE TITLE then you should be shot in the face or have your reproductive organs removed because you do not deserve the right to have children. It is like Idiocracy in real life. Electrolytes, bitches!
The fact that people STILL have the audacity after over THREE DECADES of gaming to blame them for any problems is pointless and shows that people have not gotten smarter since then which is making a dumber generation of children. I can’t believe that kids cannot differentiate between logical and illogical, let alone right and wrong. When you look at it morally things get skewed because religion will justify anything you do as “choosing for the right” (How is THAT for quasi-Nazism? Mormons have “CTW” but I have ”FTW” bitches!) but when you logically look at trying to emulate a video game it doesn’t make sense. If people STILL don’t get that then there is no hope for anything ever. The dumbening of the world continues at a rapid pace.
Although if logic prevailed, we could give all female children a copy of Cooking Mama for the Wii and they would end up being good housewives but….that shit won’t work. Although I PWN at that game! I am such a bitch.
Well, I am out for now. A rant HOPEFULLY at some point this week before Friday. May be the last full rant for a while, but in a good way. Until then, you all stay up.
Chachi Out.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Yeah, This Post Is Kind Of A Downer....
What is up, people? I am back for a bit after kind of a rough night (Damn you soju and your alcoholy goodness!) and overall a busy week. I was all over the fricking place as I had my first date in a while (That ended up being rather weird seeing as how it made me rethink all the respect I had for women and gave me a new respect for Jimmy. That’s one hell of a dude right there) and an assload of interviews (I think…10? Maybe nine) but you gotta find what you want or you bounce around like a freshman sorority girl at her first frat party. The KING IS BACK!
So I have been watching the “Tales Of Mere Existence” on YouTube for a long time now and damn it….they pretty much capture me in a fucking nutshell. Especially the “I’m Not Going To Think About Her” video:
I am SO LAME. So, I decided to do my own….seeing as how I have a bit of soju and courage running though my veins. Mainly soju. Copper, I has a problem. Now these arent about just ONE girl…it is pretty much three. Well, four but the last one was kind of never going to happen because she was a tiger and I was a shark. Natural enemies.
• I’m not going to think about how she laughed at the “What were the first words from Jesus when they took him off the cross” joke even though she was quasi-Catholic and I knew damn well it offended her.
• I’m not going to think about how she was the only girlfriend (Or friend that was a girl. Or friend not names Zach or Sung for that matter) I had that didn’t hate J-Pop and K-Pop.
• I’m not going to think about how she was the only person in twenty-six years to ever see me cry that wasn’t immediate family. And understood why….and cried with me.
• I’m not going to think about how she constantly battled me for my bullshit no matter how right I was….and I loved her for it.
• I am not going to think about how I hated her friends and her friends hated me. And she totally didn’t care.
• I’m not going to think about how her family loved me more than her boyfriend at the time. Which….initially made things awkward.
• I’m not going to think about how I made her laugh so hard she snorted….and I DIDN’T want to kill her. I know, shocking right?
• I am not going to think about how she was the only person I never ridiculed when she cried. Because I knew if she was, it hurt more than I would ever know.
• I am not going to think about how she made me feel like someone cared, even when I knew that sadly she didn’t. The lie was a better life, I guess.
• I am not going to think about how she did not think David Bowie was a trendsetter. Seriously, I tried to kill her in her sleep when I drove her home once but I knew that the guy from Labyrinth would not approve.
• I am not going to think about how she was the only girl that ever had me tongue-tied. Don’t count that up to me being suave, count that up to me being a total douchebag.
• I am not going to think about the fact that she is the only person that has seen me drunk to the point I was needing Jebus. So everyone that THINKS you have seen me at my limit, you aint seen NOTHING. And that makes me cry inside.
• I’m not going to think about the fact that she was a whore. And I ignored it.
• I am not going to think about the fact that she thought that Cyndi Lauper was dead just because I said so. Flattering, but socially shocking, Mostly because I thought it, too. Come to find out, she was at Red Rock Amphitheatre the next FUCKING DAY. How cosmic.
• I am not going to think about how she smelled like lavender. Call me queer as folk, but lavender is my mother fucking shit. I fucks with some lavender.
• I am not going to think about how when I realized her smile made me smile, whether she forced it or not. Man, I am kind of a punk bitch.
• I am not going to think about how I had to explain to her the difference between Pirates of Penzance and Pirates of the Caribbean. As naive as it was, I thought it was the most cute thing ever once I got past my blinding rage.
• I am not going to think about how much I hated her voice, and yet my day was rather empty without hearing her. God….I am SUCH A FUCKING BITCH.
• I am not going to think about how much I loved her eyes. I mean seriously, we are talking about the brown-eyed Cillian Murphy.
• I am not going to think about how she is the only person to tell me she loved me….that didn’t involve an argument, feelings of guilt, blatant lying or me catching her in the act of cheating.
And LASTLY
• I am not going to think about how she looked at me when I acted like I was over her, knowing damn well I wasn’t.
Man, I am kind of a downer. Only one thing can clear me up after that. Rocking sexy Jesus and his sexy body….all night long!
That is one hot prophet right there. Who needs women? The love of Jebus is all I need! Not in the creepy way though, in the righteous way. All night long, baby. Well, I will be back at some point this week. Until then, stay up peeps. A rant soon, I promise!
Chachi Out.
So I have been watching the “Tales Of Mere Existence” on YouTube for a long time now and damn it….they pretty much capture me in a fucking nutshell. Especially the “I’m Not Going To Think About Her” video:
I am SO LAME. So, I decided to do my own….seeing as how I have a bit of soju and courage running though my veins. Mainly soju. Copper, I has a problem. Now these arent about just ONE girl…it is pretty much three. Well, four but the last one was kind of never going to happen because she was a tiger and I was a shark. Natural enemies.
• I’m not going to think about how she laughed at the “What were the first words from Jesus when they took him off the cross” joke even though she was quasi-Catholic and I knew damn well it offended her.
• I’m not going to think about how she was the only girlfriend (Or friend that was a girl. Or friend not names Zach or Sung for that matter) I had that didn’t hate J-Pop and K-Pop.
• I’m not going to think about how she was the only person in twenty-six years to ever see me cry that wasn’t immediate family. And understood why….and cried with me.
• I’m not going to think about how she constantly battled me for my bullshit no matter how right I was….and I loved her for it.
• I am not going to think about how I hated her friends and her friends hated me. And she totally didn’t care.
• I’m not going to think about how her family loved me more than her boyfriend at the time. Which….initially made things awkward.
• I’m not going to think about how I made her laugh so hard she snorted….and I DIDN’T want to kill her. I know, shocking right?
• I am not going to think about how she was the only person I never ridiculed when she cried. Because I knew if she was, it hurt more than I would ever know.
• I am not going to think about how she made me feel like someone cared, even when I knew that sadly she didn’t. The lie was a better life, I guess.
• I am not going to think about how she did not think David Bowie was a trendsetter. Seriously, I tried to kill her in her sleep when I drove her home once but I knew that the guy from Labyrinth would not approve.
• I am not going to think about how she was the only girl that ever had me tongue-tied. Don’t count that up to me being suave, count that up to me being a total douchebag.
• I am not going to think about the fact that she is the only person that has seen me drunk to the point I was needing Jebus. So everyone that THINKS you have seen me at my limit, you aint seen NOTHING. And that makes me cry inside.
• I’m not going to think about the fact that she was a whore. And I ignored it.
• I am not going to think about the fact that she thought that Cyndi Lauper was dead just because I said so. Flattering, but socially shocking, Mostly because I thought it, too. Come to find out, she was at Red Rock Amphitheatre the next FUCKING DAY. How cosmic.
• I am not going to think about how she smelled like lavender. Call me queer as folk, but lavender is my mother fucking shit. I fucks with some lavender.
• I am not going to think about how when I realized her smile made me smile, whether she forced it or not. Man, I am kind of a punk bitch.
• I am not going to think about how I had to explain to her the difference between Pirates of Penzance and Pirates of the Caribbean. As naive as it was, I thought it was the most cute thing ever once I got past my blinding rage.
• I am not going to think about how much I hated her voice, and yet my day was rather empty without hearing her. God….I am SUCH A FUCKING BITCH.
• I am not going to think about how much I loved her eyes. I mean seriously, we are talking about the brown-eyed Cillian Murphy.
• I am not going to think about how she is the only person to tell me she loved me….that didn’t involve an argument, feelings of guilt, blatant lying or me catching her in the act of cheating.
And LASTLY
• I am not going to think about how she looked at me when I acted like I was over her, knowing damn well I wasn’t.
Man, I am kind of a downer. Only one thing can clear me up after that. Rocking sexy Jesus and his sexy body….all night long!
That is one hot prophet right there. Who needs women? The love of Jebus is all I need! Not in the creepy way though, in the righteous way. All night long, baby. Well, I will be back at some point this week. Until then, stay up peeps. A rant soon, I promise!
Chachi Out.
Friday, August 08, 2008
Time To Make It Hot....So Hot!
What is up peeps?! This was a short ass week, wasn’t it? Well, the weekend came quicker and the Friday staple is back once again! It is time for the…
Passion of Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We begin with a J-Rock band that has been gone for over a year from the Countdown and makes their return!
20. FLOW – WORLD END (New Entry)
FLOW is back! After taking “Re:Member” to the top in 2006, they have had a rather spotty line of work (Hit and miss, mainly miss for me) but their latest video is where it is at! I have the karaoke version of this song so it WILL be done at NDK. Welcome back guys!
19. Skillz feat Talib Kweli – So Far So Good/Sick (Last Week #20)
Skillz moves up one spot this week! You know, I like the original version with both Common and Talib Kweli but as usual, I can’t win them all.
18. NERD feat Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pusha-T – Everybody Nose (Remix)
WELL IT IS ABOUT DAMN TIME! I have been waiting for this video for about six hundred millennia! And I have to say, as simple as it is, it was well worth the wait. I have been rocking this song forever and it looks like Kanye is cinching down the Artist of the Year Chachi Award. Lupe is getting there, though. I don’t like drugs in rap, but Pusha-T KILLED IT on this one.
17. YA-KYIM – Super Looper (Last Week #14, Three Weeks at #1)
The ladies of YA-KYIM are STILL hanging on to the Countdown! They have the longest reigning number one video on the chart so far (Seeing what HAMC does later) and the longest since Bennie K’s SEVEN WEEK run in early spring. Been a good year for my baby boos.
16. New Kids On The Block - Summertime (Last Week #18)
NKOTB is moving on up! Even though summertime is almost over, this song is still in rotation. When is the album coming out? I am all ready for this one! Yaaay, Jordan!
15. Chris Brown - Forever (Last Week #12)
Looks like Chris Breezy is making his downward spiral yet again. Not sure if he has anything else coming out off of his last album so he may not be back for a while.
14. Seamo feat Ayuse Kozue - Honey (Last Week #13)
Seamo is still just hanging around. He could end up being like James Morrison, who was on the Countdown for two months but never got any higher than number 11. It is about staying power, people.
13. Fonzworth Bentley feat. Andre 3000 & Kanye West – Everybody [Don’t Stop] (Last Week #15)
Okay, this song is totally growing on me. That and the name “Cool Outrageous Lovers Of Unique & Radical Style” is just the most awesome name ever. Even better than Journey. Yes, that Journey.
12. Usher – Moving Mountains (Last Week #9)
With all the asshatery going on in the Usher camp, this could be the last video we see from him for a while. It was good to have him back, I guess.
11. Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On (Last Week #16, Biggest Mover)
Fall is coming which means colder weather given to us by The Snowman! Young Jeezy, flanked by Kanye West, moves up a huge FIVE PLACES this week as he lands outside of the Top 10. Can he make it to number one again and be the first artist of 2008 with two stints at the top?
10. Paramore – That’s What You Get (Last Week #7, Two Weeks at #1)
We begin the Top 10 with a former number one video. Paramore finally got the monkey off their collective backs but since then has steadily fallen from their perch. Since they are on tour it may be a while until we see them on the small screen again. Boooooo!
9. RBD - Empezar Desde Cero (Last Week #11)
RBD is back! They have their second Top 10 of 2008 but can they finally take the top spot? They are 0-for-2 since 2006 but they have came VERY close on those occasions. I mean, as fine as Dulce Maria is I figured they would own this thing but here we are.
8. Game feat Keisha Cole – Pain (Last Week #2, One Week at #1)
So I guess the “My Life” video featuring Lil Wayne should be out any day now. You know, with the year that Lil Wayne has had, he hasn’t shown up on the Countdown ever. Like…at all. Shocking but at the same time….rightfully so in some cases. “Lollipop” sucked.
7. Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl (Last Week #10)
Princes Hee-yo-Ri is moving up! She shimmies up three spots this week as she is getting into some dangerous waters near the top. Can Miss Lee hold her own? I think so, I mean she is fricking hot. I mean, the shorts do nothing for me but that smile could tame a coked up Kodiak bear.
6. Yui – Summer Song (Last Week #8)
It wouldn’t be a Countdown without Yui, would it now? Yui continues to move up this week as she guns for her record seventh Top Five video. Yeah, she is pushing for the Artist of the Year as well. Can I just say I fucking love this song? Seriously, I am all about this one.
5. Kelun – CHU-BURA (Last Week #6)
Well, that didn’t take long. Kelun is back in the Top Five! The streak of Bleach openings hitting number one was broken with Asian Kung Fu Generation’s “After Dark” but can Kelun start a new streak of Bleach dominance? They may just!
4. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Hot Limit (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
Total shocker! After two weeks, HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR fall from their throne! It was a long ride and a good reign but even the awesomeness of TM Revolution couldn’t keep them in the Top Three. We have a new number one video and it is one of these last three videos!
3. T.I. – No Matter What (Last Week #4)
The King of the South is in familiar territory as he is back in the Top Three! Not only that, he has two new videos coming! “Whatever You Like” (To which I say meh, but it has Lil’ Duvall in it and he is funny as hell) is out now and “Swing Ya Rag” should be out any day now and that song is FUCKING BANGIN. Seriously, I may have to get a Louis rag.
2. Ikimono-Gakari - Bluebird (Last Week #3)
Ikimono-Gakari is one step away from greatness! They move up one spot this week to the runner-up position! This song has been on rotation for a while (With the windows up….the world aint ready for it) and it has paid off because they are very close to their first number one video. However, they didn’t get it this week and with HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR falling from the throne we have a new king! Or queen?
1. Wonder Girls – So Hot (Last Week #2, One Week at #1)
Or queens! The young ladies of Wonder Girls are on top of the world and finally on top of the Chachi Countdown! It has been an interesting road as I really didn’t think they would get this far. However, the awesomeness of this song could not be denied! Because of that, the Wonder Girls are so hot…and so on top. Yeah….I meant that just how it sounded. Congratulations ladies!
That is all for this Friday! Tune in next week to see if the Wonder Girls can make it two weeks at the top! Or will Ikimono-Gakari finally move into the number one position? Or will T.I. finally break the streak and once again become the King of the Countdown? See you in seven!
Well, I am about to be out. Been an exhausting week (Denver three times, a shitload of interviews and a total epiphany about women being stupid) but it was worth it. I may head out tonight but I will be back on Sunday. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
Passion of Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We begin with a J-Rock band that has been gone for over a year from the Countdown and makes their return!
20. FLOW – WORLD END (New Entry)
FLOW is back! After taking “Re:Member” to the top in 2006, they have had a rather spotty line of work (Hit and miss, mainly miss for me) but their latest video is where it is at! I have the karaoke version of this song so it WILL be done at NDK. Welcome back guys!
19. Skillz feat Talib Kweli – So Far So Good/Sick (Last Week #20)
Skillz moves up one spot this week! You know, I like the original version with both Common and Talib Kweli but as usual, I can’t win them all.
18. NERD feat Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pusha-T – Everybody Nose (Remix)
WELL IT IS ABOUT DAMN TIME! I have been waiting for this video for about six hundred millennia! And I have to say, as simple as it is, it was well worth the wait. I have been rocking this song forever and it looks like Kanye is cinching down the Artist of the Year Chachi Award. Lupe is getting there, though. I don’t like drugs in rap, but Pusha-T KILLED IT on this one.
17. YA-KYIM – Super Looper (Last Week #14, Three Weeks at #1)
The ladies of YA-KYIM are STILL hanging on to the Countdown! They have the longest reigning number one video on the chart so far (Seeing what HAMC does later) and the longest since Bennie K’s SEVEN WEEK run in early spring. Been a good year for my baby boos.
16. New Kids On The Block - Summertime (Last Week #18)
NKOTB is moving on up! Even though summertime is almost over, this song is still in rotation. When is the album coming out? I am all ready for this one! Yaaay, Jordan!
15. Chris Brown - Forever (Last Week #12)
Looks like Chris Breezy is making his downward spiral yet again. Not sure if he has anything else coming out off of his last album so he may not be back for a while.
14. Seamo feat Ayuse Kozue - Honey (Last Week #13)
Seamo is still just hanging around. He could end up being like James Morrison, who was on the Countdown for two months but never got any higher than number 11. It is about staying power, people.
13. Fonzworth Bentley feat. Andre 3000 & Kanye West – Everybody [Don’t Stop] (Last Week #15)
Okay, this song is totally growing on me. That and the name “Cool Outrageous Lovers Of Unique & Radical Style” is just the most awesome name ever. Even better than Journey. Yes, that Journey.
12. Usher – Moving Mountains (Last Week #9)
With all the asshatery going on in the Usher camp, this could be the last video we see from him for a while. It was good to have him back, I guess.
11. Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On (Last Week #16, Biggest Mover)
Fall is coming which means colder weather given to us by The Snowman! Young Jeezy, flanked by Kanye West, moves up a huge FIVE PLACES this week as he lands outside of the Top 10. Can he make it to number one again and be the first artist of 2008 with two stints at the top?
10. Paramore – That’s What You Get (Last Week #7, Two Weeks at #1)
We begin the Top 10 with a former number one video. Paramore finally got the monkey off their collective backs but since then has steadily fallen from their perch. Since they are on tour it may be a while until we see them on the small screen again. Boooooo!
9. RBD - Empezar Desde Cero (Last Week #11)
RBD is back! They have their second Top 10 of 2008 but can they finally take the top spot? They are 0-for-2 since 2006 but they have came VERY close on those occasions. I mean, as fine as Dulce Maria is I figured they would own this thing but here we are.
8. Game feat Keisha Cole – Pain (Last Week #2, One Week at #1)
So I guess the “My Life” video featuring Lil Wayne should be out any day now. You know, with the year that Lil Wayne has had, he hasn’t shown up on the Countdown ever. Like…at all. Shocking but at the same time….rightfully so in some cases. “Lollipop” sucked.
7. Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl (Last Week #10)
Princes Hee-yo-Ri is moving up! She shimmies up three spots this week as she is getting into some dangerous waters near the top. Can Miss Lee hold her own? I think so, I mean she is fricking hot. I mean, the shorts do nothing for me but that smile could tame a coked up Kodiak bear.
6. Yui – Summer Song (Last Week #8)
It wouldn’t be a Countdown without Yui, would it now? Yui continues to move up this week as she guns for her record seventh Top Five video. Yeah, she is pushing for the Artist of the Year as well. Can I just say I fucking love this song? Seriously, I am all about this one.
5. Kelun – CHU-BURA (Last Week #6)
Well, that didn’t take long. Kelun is back in the Top Five! The streak of Bleach openings hitting number one was broken with Asian Kung Fu Generation’s “After Dark” but can Kelun start a new streak of Bleach dominance? They may just!
4. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Hot Limit (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
Total shocker! After two weeks, HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR fall from their throne! It was a long ride and a good reign but even the awesomeness of TM Revolution couldn’t keep them in the Top Three. We have a new number one video and it is one of these last three videos!
3. T.I. – No Matter What (Last Week #4)
The King of the South is in familiar territory as he is back in the Top Three! Not only that, he has two new videos coming! “Whatever You Like” (To which I say meh, but it has Lil’ Duvall in it and he is funny as hell) is out now and “Swing Ya Rag” should be out any day now and that song is FUCKING BANGIN. Seriously, I may have to get a Louis rag.
2. Ikimono-Gakari - Bluebird (Last Week #3)
Ikimono-Gakari is one step away from greatness! They move up one spot this week to the runner-up position! This song has been on rotation for a while (With the windows up….the world aint ready for it) and it has paid off because they are very close to their first number one video. However, they didn’t get it this week and with HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR falling from the throne we have a new king! Or queen?
1. Wonder Girls – So Hot (Last Week #2, One Week at #1)
Or queens! The young ladies of Wonder Girls are on top of the world and finally on top of the Chachi Countdown! It has been an interesting road as I really didn’t think they would get this far. However, the awesomeness of this song could not be denied! Because of that, the Wonder Girls are so hot…and so on top. Yeah….I meant that just how it sounded. Congratulations ladies!
That is all for this Friday! Tune in next week to see if the Wonder Girls can make it two weeks at the top! Or will Ikimono-Gakari finally move into the number one position? Or will T.I. finally break the streak and once again become the King of the Countdown? See you in seven!
Well, I am about to be out. Been an exhausting week (Denver three times, a shitload of interviews and a total epiphany about women being stupid) but it was worth it. I may head out tonight but I will be back on Sunday. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
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