Looking at the weather outside, hell has just frozen over because Bret 'Hitman' Hart is going into the WWE Hall of Fame. For those unfamiliar with the Hitman, here is a quite intro.
I really want to speak on this because Bret Hart was/is my favorite wrestler ever, even over The Rock. When I was in Aviano we used to play wrestle at the AYA and at friends houses and everyone wanted to be Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior. Not me. Juan and I used to be the Hart Foundation everytime. I was too big (and er....black) to be Bret so I was Jim Neidhart while Juan was Bret. Even still, Bret was my favorite wrestler. I always knew wrestling was scripted, especially when Hogan beat Big John Studd and King Kong Bundy by himself. But Bret added a sign of fluidity to his matches that I dug. I used to think that Davey Boy was REALLY gonna break his back on those Irish Whips into the corner. Hell, I used to call out the 'Five Moves of Doom' before they were called the 'Five Moves of Doom'. I remember in 1992 when he won the WWF Championship in Saskatoon because I had just returned to the States from Overseas. Not gonna lie, it was almost as big for me as fan as the the 1991 NLCS Game 7 Braves vs. Pirates.
I remember screaming 'shenanigans' when Hogan stole the belt from Yokozuna (R.I.P.) at Wrestlemania IX. I remember him winning it back the following year after Vince had him wrestle every talentless fuck with a pulse (sans Jerry Lawler who I actually saw in Memphis and is a hell of a guy). I remember watching in disgust during Wrestlemania XII during the Ironman Match between Bret and Shawn Micheals because I knew he was gonna lose to that jerk ('Get the fuck out and let me have my moment' real classy, Mike Hickenbottom. See you in hell). I remember Austin/Hart in the I Quit Match, which is my choice for Best Match ever, just ahead of Savage/Steamboat at WMIII. I watched Survivior Series 97 with the infamous screwjob live. I swore it would be the last WWF pay-per-view I would watch because I was that big of a Bret fan. Unfortunatly I also remember that craptastic run in WCW which saw him go from good guy to bad guy 7 times.
I remember Over The Edge that I was trying to order but couldnt get in touch with Adelphia to get it in time. A friend of mine from college was giving me play by play when Own fell from the ceiling to his death. Not gonna lie, I cried when I heard he died when I finally got to his house to see the rest of the PPV. I cried when Bret showed up on Nitro to talk about it and during almost the whole tribute episode. I remember the change in him, as it became almost painful to watch him in the ring. It wasnt the same Bret.
By the time Goldberg injured him (another guy I could do without) I hadnt seen him wrestle in about three months. He kind of faded away and my enjoyment for wrestling did too. Up until the Bret Hart DVD came out all I knew about wrestling is I cant stand Triple H because he would refuse to job to Jesus Christ himself in Bethlehem. Now to go full cicrle, Bret said he would never work for the WWE again, but he put that aside to be inducted in to the WWE Hall of Fame. Supposedly he is doing it for free to stand by his word of not working for Vince. Hey Bret, I dont care if you do it for a ham and cheese sandwich. THANK YOU. You are one of the few people I have been a fan of in any medium and I look forward to seeing you again. If anyone deserves to be in the Hall of Fame, its Bret hart. And the 'Macho Man' Randy Savage. OH, YEAH DIG IT!
And now, the RWF, bay-bee! Long video but worth the wait.
Whoooooo, funny stuff.
Anyway, it is diamond nipple cold outside. I swear, there is no need for it to be 5 degrees. Global warming my ass! And dont even say that the extreme cold is a sign that global warming exists. That works if you live in the Yukon territory but not in America. I would have figured we would have figured out a way to put Mother Nature in her place like we did with the female President dream. Aint that right, Geena Davis. Oooohhh, burn! I am the insult master!
Don't forget to vote in Douchebrawl 2006! Listen to Jerri Blank.
Well, Chachi needs to tend to the dog. I shall hit ya'll off with something tomorrow. Stay warm, peeps.
Chachi out.
Friday, February 17, 2006
Wow, we have officially STOPPED the revolution.
Okay, I just have to say it: Black people, the movement is over. Well its a BOWEL MOVEMENT because the revolution has been shat on. Is shat a word? Anyway, between all the work that rappers and Marion Barry have done to get on my nerves no one has done more to piss me off than Cowboy Troy.
First off, I dont want people saying I dont like country music. I dont really like much of any-damn-thing and yes, country is on the list. So is everything else not made by Common, Bennie K, Outkast or Soul'd Out. And of course Morris Day and the Time. Them's the smooth notes.
Now I heard about Cowboy Troy a while back from a friend of mine when I said jokingly 'Damn, I hope rap and country never mix again like that Nelly/Tim McGraw skullf**k.' He said that was already the case and I prayed to Christopher Walken that he was lying and I let it slip my mind. Then I was watching college football last year and the ESPN (BOOOOO) chosen song was 'Coming To Your City' by a country troop I had heard of called Big And Rich. I had heard some raps in their songs in the few times I heard them at work but I brushed it off as just some black dude they found in a bar that did karaoke to 'Walk This Way.' I had no idea how close (yet far) I was from the truth.
First off, I was stunned to see a black man in country music. Aside from Charlie Pride and Ray Charles I never knew people of color were allowed. And dont even start with Tejano music because that stuff is just SCARY. It really sounds like the devils music, like they play that at the gates of hell and in the elevators as muzak. It's not that he is doing country music. If that is what is in your heart then go for it. It's HOW he is doing country music that pisses me off to no end.
First off: nigga if you coined the term 'hick-hop' you should be slapped. Seriously. And I use 'nigga' to show your ignorance or the ignorance of whoever in the hell decided that was a legit form of whatever the hell you do. To refer to yourself as the 'Big Blackneck' is the biggest load of shit ever. Whites who are proud of being 'rednecks' eqaute to women proud of being 'bitches' and blacks proud of being 'niggas': fucking stupid. I dont care how many times you say taking the word back takes away the offensive connotations. Jews dont call each other kikes and heebs. Stop the crap, moron.
Most importantly you suck. Hard. I dont mean Tom Green suck where you are funny in a REALLY small dose or certain situations. I mean at no point in time, EVER, will you be good. Its like my age old addage: you and talent are parallel lines. The two of you at no point in time will EVER intersect. NEVER. The only thing you have going for you is (hopefully) you are the only rapper in country music. So you have a pretty wide open market to suck as hard as you want and not be threatend. As much as you such, Sean Combs has proven that need of talent doesnt stop people from being rich. Asshat. I came THIS close to putting you into the Douchebrawl 2K6.
It's really sad, too. I'm not much on people being trailblazers and groundbreakers. Especially in a day and time when the battle lines for pretty much all issues have been set. There isnt a lot of room for persuasion. But a black man in country music could have been a great move. IF HE WASNT A FUCKING CARICATURE. When Eminem came into rap, I didnt balk, I was happy to a white person being himself and succeding. Then he started talking about raping his mother and killing his wife and he lost me. But never did he become a mockery of himself or whites (we left that to Quentin Tarrentino, you racist moronic fuck). Cowboy Troy on the other hand became what I feared: a overblown character in a field where there is no alternative. There isnt anyone else to compare him to so all blacks in country music are expected to be jive talking, chicken-eating, cowboy hat wearing clowns with mediocre skills and a weak ass southern drawl. Take a look at this abortion case:
Now the picture doesnt tell the story. Watch and listen to him. The "Play Chicken With A Train" is pure lyrical mastery. People can say whatever they want about Marshall Mathers (hell, I will lead the charge because he is overblown) but at least he made not only black rappers step their game up due to his hype but white rappers have to come with some skills. In country all you need is a good Jim Crow walk and a bucket of KFC to be the shit cuz we's loves the KFC, massa. Die in hell, Cowboy Troy. In joint with Black History Month I can honestly say that you have stopped the movement. Bobby Brown couldnt do it. Marion Berry couldnt do it. Even Nelly couldnt do it and he was my odds on favorite. With people like you, I will be harvesting cotton in no time. Troy, I salute you.
Keep in mind I dont know Troy personally. I am just taking what he does at face value and commenting on it at face value. I could be wrong and he does stuff behind the scenes to help out the image of Blacks in country. However, since from what I know (which about country is LITTLE, I'll admit) he IS the image of Blacks in country.
He still is a better example than BET. Which for reasons unknown to me doesnt play his videos. BET is another rant altogether, but all I can say is this: BET just has a commercial about how it is important to give exposure to Black History Month and the pioneers of the Civil Rights Movement. What do they follow it up with? Nelly's Grillz. Before that? A commercial with Abe Lincoln and George Washington on the currency with gold teeth talking about a comedy marathon. Maybe it ain't Troy's fault afterall. Go figure. Ignorance, its spreading.
Now, back to the good stuff. For those that say I only have pictures of other races on my blog, here you go. I can exploit Black women as much as I can any other race. I AM KIDDING. Women are beautiful.
As Mix-A-Lot said 'keep them beanpole dames'. Although they really aint as thick as I like its still okay to the Chachi.
Well, Chachi needs to brave the elements in a bit. Wish me luck. Before I go, WHO WANTS A BODY MASSAGE?!
Chachi out.
First off, I dont want people saying I dont like country music. I dont really like much of any-damn-thing and yes, country is on the list. So is everything else not made by Common, Bennie K, Outkast or Soul'd Out. And of course Morris Day and the Time. Them's the smooth notes.
Now I heard about Cowboy Troy a while back from a friend of mine when I said jokingly 'Damn, I hope rap and country never mix again like that Nelly/Tim McGraw skullf**k.' He said that was already the case and I prayed to Christopher Walken that he was lying and I let it slip my mind. Then I was watching college football last year and the ESPN (BOOOOO) chosen song was 'Coming To Your City' by a country troop I had heard of called Big And Rich. I had heard some raps in their songs in the few times I heard them at work but I brushed it off as just some black dude they found in a bar that did karaoke to 'Walk This Way.' I had no idea how close (yet far) I was from the truth.
First off, I was stunned to see a black man in country music. Aside from Charlie Pride and Ray Charles I never knew people of color were allowed. And dont even start with Tejano music because that stuff is just SCARY. It really sounds like the devils music, like they play that at the gates of hell and in the elevators as muzak. It's not that he is doing country music. If that is what is in your heart then go for it. It's HOW he is doing country music that pisses me off to no end.
First off: nigga if you coined the term 'hick-hop' you should be slapped. Seriously. And I use 'nigga' to show your ignorance or the ignorance of whoever in the hell decided that was a legit form of whatever the hell you do. To refer to yourself as the 'Big Blackneck' is the biggest load of shit ever. Whites who are proud of being 'rednecks' eqaute to women proud of being 'bitches' and blacks proud of being 'niggas': fucking stupid. I dont care how many times you say taking the word back takes away the offensive connotations. Jews dont call each other kikes and heebs. Stop the crap, moron.
Most importantly you suck. Hard. I dont mean Tom Green suck where you are funny in a REALLY small dose or certain situations. I mean at no point in time, EVER, will you be good. Its like my age old addage: you and talent are parallel lines. The two of you at no point in time will EVER intersect. NEVER. The only thing you have going for you is (hopefully) you are the only rapper in country music. So you have a pretty wide open market to suck as hard as you want and not be threatend. As much as you such, Sean Combs has proven that need of talent doesnt stop people from being rich. Asshat. I came THIS close to putting you into the Douchebrawl 2K6.
It's really sad, too. I'm not much on people being trailblazers and groundbreakers. Especially in a day and time when the battle lines for pretty much all issues have been set. There isnt a lot of room for persuasion. But a black man in country music could have been a great move. IF HE WASNT A FUCKING CARICATURE. When Eminem came into rap, I didnt balk, I was happy to a white person being himself and succeding. Then he started talking about raping his mother and killing his wife and he lost me. But never did he become a mockery of himself or whites (we left that to Quentin Tarrentino, you racist moronic fuck). Cowboy Troy on the other hand became what I feared: a overblown character in a field where there is no alternative. There isnt anyone else to compare him to so all blacks in country music are expected to be jive talking, chicken-eating, cowboy hat wearing clowns with mediocre skills and a weak ass southern drawl. Take a look at this abortion case:
Now the picture doesnt tell the story. Watch and listen to him. The "Play Chicken With A Train" is pure lyrical mastery. People can say whatever they want about Marshall Mathers (hell, I will lead the charge because he is overblown) but at least he made not only black rappers step their game up due to his hype but white rappers have to come with some skills. In country all you need is a good Jim Crow walk and a bucket of KFC to be the shit cuz we's loves the KFC, massa. Die in hell, Cowboy Troy. In joint with Black History Month I can honestly say that you have stopped the movement. Bobby Brown couldnt do it. Marion Berry couldnt do it. Even Nelly couldnt do it and he was my odds on favorite. With people like you, I will be harvesting cotton in no time. Troy, I salute you.
Keep in mind I dont know Troy personally. I am just taking what he does at face value and commenting on it at face value. I could be wrong and he does stuff behind the scenes to help out the image of Blacks in country. However, since from what I know (which about country is LITTLE, I'll admit) he IS the image of Blacks in country.
He still is a better example than BET. Which for reasons unknown to me doesnt play his videos. BET is another rant altogether, but all I can say is this: BET just has a commercial about how it is important to give exposure to Black History Month and the pioneers of the Civil Rights Movement. What do they follow it up with? Nelly's Grillz. Before that? A commercial with Abe Lincoln and George Washington on the currency with gold teeth talking about a comedy marathon. Maybe it ain't Troy's fault afterall. Go figure. Ignorance, its spreading.
Now, back to the good stuff. For those that say I only have pictures of other races on my blog, here you go. I can exploit Black women as much as I can any other race. I AM KIDDING. Women are beautiful.
As Mix-A-Lot said 'keep them beanpole dames'. Although they really aint as thick as I like its still okay to the Chachi.
Well, Chachi needs to brave the elements in a bit. Wish me luck. Before I go, WHO WANTS A BODY MASSAGE?!
Chachi out.
It has begun....
Well, it's time. The Douchebrawl 2006 officially begins.....wait for it.....NOW!! On the sidebar are the first four of 32 first round match-ups!
Vote as often as you like! Like I said, it's America and we do what we want when we want. Take THAT Planet Earth. I like the sound of 'Planet America' better anyway.
No real news I give a rats ass about today. Except Cheney shooting an old man in the face. Dick, NOT COOL. After he has had you all up in his house. I dont beef with Cheney like that, but if he shot me in my face it would be on like Donkey Kong playing ping pong. And that's real.
This is gonna be short but I have to link to this. Whoever made this, I need to be part of your puppet crew.
Stay up peeps, its hella cold outside so I'm gonna get some cocoa.
Chachi's out for a bit.
STIFF NINJA TIME!
Vote as often as you like! Like I said, it's America and we do what we want when we want. Take THAT Planet Earth. I like the sound of 'Planet America' better anyway.
No real news I give a rats ass about today. Except Cheney shooting an old man in the face. Dick, NOT COOL. After he has had you all up in his house. I dont beef with Cheney like that, but if he shot me in my face it would be on like Donkey Kong playing ping pong. And that's real.
This is gonna be short but I have to link to this. Whoever made this, I need to be part of your puppet crew.
Stay up peeps, its hella cold outside so I'm gonna get some cocoa.
Chachi's out for a bit.
STIFF NINJA TIME!
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