Wow, we have officially STOPPED the revolution.

Okay, I just have to say it: Black people, the movement is over. Well its a BOWEL MOVEMENT because the revolution has been shat on. Is shat a word? Anyway, between all the work that rappers and Marion Barry have done to get on my nerves no one has done more to piss me off than Cowboy Troy.

First off, I dont want people saying I dont like country music. I dont really like much of any-damn-thing and yes, country is on the list. So is everything else not made by Common, Bennie K, Outkast or Soul'd Out. And of course Morris Day and the Time. Them's the smooth notes.

Now I heard about Cowboy Troy a while back from a friend of mine when I said jokingly 'Damn, I hope rap and country never mix again like that Nelly/Tim McGraw skullf**k.' He said that was already the case and I prayed to Christopher Walken that he was lying and I let it slip my mind. Then I was watching college football last year and the ESPN (BOOOOO) chosen song was 'Coming To Your City' by a country troop I had heard of called Big And Rich. I had heard some raps in their songs in the few times I heard them at work but I brushed it off as just some black dude they found in a bar that did karaoke to 'Walk This Way.' I had no idea how close (yet far) I was from the truth.

First off, I was stunned to see a black man in country music. Aside from Charlie Pride and Ray Charles I never knew people of color were allowed. And dont even start with Tejano music because that stuff is just SCARY. It really sounds like the devils music, like they play that at the gates of hell and in the elevators as muzak. It's not that he is doing country music. If that is what is in your heart then go for it. It's HOW he is doing country music that pisses me off to no end.

First off: nigga if you coined the term 'hick-hop' you should be slapped. Seriously. And I use 'nigga' to show your ignorance or the ignorance of whoever in the hell decided that was a legit form of whatever the hell you do. To refer to yourself as the 'Big Blackneck' is the biggest load of shit ever. Whites who are proud of being 'rednecks' eqaute to women proud of being 'bitches' and blacks proud of being 'niggas': fucking stupid. I dont care how many times you say taking the word back takes away the offensive connotations. Jews dont call each other kikes and heebs. Stop the crap, moron.

Most importantly you suck. Hard. I dont mean Tom Green suck where you are funny in a REALLY small dose or certain situations. I mean at no point in time, EVER, will you be good. Its like my age old addage: you and talent are parallel lines. The two of you at no point in time will EVER intersect. NEVER. The only thing you have going for you is (hopefully) you are the only rapper in country music. So you have a pretty wide open market to suck as hard as you want and not be threatend. As much as you such, Sean Combs has proven that need of talent doesnt stop people from being rich. Asshat. I came THIS close to putting you into the Douchebrawl 2K6.

It's really sad, too. I'm not much on people being trailblazers and groundbreakers. Especially in a day and time when the battle lines for pretty much all issues have been set. There isnt a lot of room for persuasion. But a black man in country music could have been a great move. IF HE WASNT A FUCKING CARICATURE. When Eminem came into rap, I didnt balk, I was happy to a white person being himself and succeding. Then he started talking about raping his mother and killing his wife and he lost me. But never did he become a mockery of himself or whites (we left that to Quentin Tarrentino, you racist moronic fuck). Cowboy Troy on the other hand became what I feared: a overblown character in a field where there is no alternative. There isnt anyone else to compare him to so all blacks in country music are expected to be jive talking, chicken-eating, cowboy hat wearing clowns with mediocre skills and a weak ass southern drawl. Take a look at this abortion case:



Now the picture doesnt tell the story. Watch and listen to him. The "Play Chicken With A Train" is pure lyrical mastery. People can say whatever they want about Marshall Mathers (hell, I will lead the charge because he is overblown) but at least he made not only black rappers step their game up due to his hype but white rappers have to come with some skills. In country all you need is a good Jim Crow walk and a bucket of KFC to be the shit cuz we's loves the KFC, massa. Die in hell, Cowboy Troy. In joint with Black History Month I can honestly say that you have stopped the movement. Bobby Brown couldnt do it. Marion Berry couldnt do it. Even Nelly couldnt do it and he was my odds on favorite. With people like you, I will be harvesting cotton in no time. Troy, I salute you.

Keep in mind I dont know Troy personally. I am just taking what he does at face value and commenting on it at face value. I could be wrong and he does stuff behind the scenes to help out the image of Blacks in country. However, since from what I know (which about country is LITTLE, I'll admit) he IS the image of Blacks in country.

He still is a better example than BET. Which for reasons unknown to me doesnt play his videos. BET is another rant altogether, but all I can say is this: BET just has a commercial about how it is important to give exposure to Black History Month and the pioneers of the Civil Rights Movement. What do they follow it up with? Nelly's Grillz. Before that? A commercial with Abe Lincoln and George Washington on the currency with gold teeth talking about a comedy marathon. Maybe it ain't Troy's fault afterall. Go figure. Ignorance, its spreading.

Now, back to the good stuff. For those that say I only have pictures of other races on my blog, here you go. I can exploit Black women as much as I can any other race. I AM KIDDING. Women are beautiful.



As Mix-A-Lot said 'keep them beanpole dames'. Although they really aint as thick as I like its still okay to the Chachi.

Well, Chachi needs to brave the elements in a bit. Wish me luck. Before I go, WHO WANTS A BODY MASSAGE?!



Chachi out.