What is up, people?! I am back on the scene and boy today was fucked up. I got a crack in my winshield and I am not sure when because it wasn’t there this morning and I saw it when I got off of work. Nothing pisses me off more than a cracked windshield and this will be the second one I have had on a car while I WASN’T EVEN DRIVING IT. Fuck me standing sideways, I am so pissed off about that.
I couldn’t stay mad for too long because my show is back in exactly THREE DAYS! Thursday night, if anyone is down, I have the grandest idea EVER. I was thinking about it while looking at liquor today and it hit me. So I give to the peeps, my next great idea….
America’s Best Dance Crew’s Drinking Game Extravaganza!!!
So a lot of these are in progress and I hope to have something officially set up by Week 2 (Maybe week Three, it’s going to be a minimum of 11 weeks this season) where we the fans can put this in action. However, here are some of my ideas:
ABDC Drinking Game 1: Head Spin Shooting Spree!
So this one is going to be simple: whenever someone does a headspin, you take a shot. Plain and simple. This will be rough when the breakers come on but that is the point of a drinking game: to get stone cold blitzed! My second idea was to slam a random bomb (Non-Jager) before the headspin was finished but like I said this is a work in progress. Besides, did you see that headspin Chris from Jaba did in the season finale? That would be like 4 Tuaca Bombs! SIGN ME UP!
ABDC Drinking Game 2: Too Drunk To Function!
This is a two-fold game: whenever JC says or is on screen dressed in something that is so gay it fucks up your reception, you have to take a drink. I would say a shot but….he is way too gay for a shot each time he says something or is seen wearing something fruit-tastic. I mean I am doing this for fun, not to get drunkenly groped by the ladies. Been there, done that, had the herpes scares (Ugh….more than three) to prove it). I like this one because you could even be forced to drink a frou frou drink. Appletini anyone? It’s fabooo!
ABDC Drinking Game 3: Lil’ Mama Must Be Drunk!
Okay, I am looking forward to this one. Every time Lil Mama butchers the English language (Which is a WHOLE-FUCKING-LOT) a drink has to be taken. Again, a shot is WAAAAAAAAAY too much for her poor grammar and like I said before this isn’t about alcohol poisoning. This is about enjoying the greatest show about dancing since Fame!
I want to live forever!
ABDC Drinking Game 4: Let The Past Go, Man!
This one is interesting. Whenever a crew is either compared to or takes a move from a previous dance crew you have to take a shot. This won’t happen a lot which is why a shot is in order…unless you are Soul Selection who will steal everything Jaba ever did and try to improve on it because they are that damn brash. Also, if a crew takes a move that another one does on THE SAME EPISODE and does it better, everyone takes a shot and yells “YOU GOT SERVED!” I just want to yell that is all.
Those are just a few of my ideas. They aren’t very well thought out or….good but I just thought it would be something fun for the legal people out there. Not that I would do any of these. I have found religion now. Everyone, bow your heads and pretend to be serious. Please turn to the Book of Diz from the Church of The New Guy:
You looking at my Janet?!
Oh, one last thing. As you all know, last week R. Kelly was found not guilty of (Among other things) sexual misconduct with a minor and premeditated urination. Now I for one hoped beyond hope this dumb ass nigga would go to jail if for nothing else then for being a dumbass. However, he has gotten off and that is something I and the youth of America will have to accept. With that being said…
WHAT IN THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH AMERICA?!
Listen, I never thought that he was innocent at any point in time given his track record. I also felt that that dumb ass girl needed to move out of the way if she didn’t want to be peed on. This is part of a larger problem: people videotaping themselves having sex. Now maybe it is just sour grapes because everyone else has had more sex than me. Oooohhhhh. Even with that being a little true (Not much, gone this long without going to the GOOD promised land and I haven’t killed anyone) I really am getting sick of people saying their privacy was invaded when they took the time out to FILM THEMSELVES HAVING SEX. Sometimes with a minor to whom I say Rob Lowe YOU ARE GOD….I mean bad. When you film yourself having sex you are pretty much withdrawing the right to say you are violated should that take be shown to the public. Now if it is filmed without your consent that is completely different as you agreed to nothing and that is pretty much voyeurism…which I have NEVER engaged in. Today, anyway. When you film acts like this, with a MINOR no less you are unable to claim violation of any form. The only people violated were the people that paid for the bootleg of that cassette because it was NOT worth the $25 people paid for it. Not that I have seen it or anything….but that was him. Mole my ass, R. Kelly is a god damn pisser and we let him loose to let loose on children. Lock up your daughters, R. Kelly is free and ready to pee:
Nasty nigga. I am so out of here. I will be back up tomorrow. ABDC on THURSDAY!!! DON’T MISS IT!
Chachi Out.
