Passion of Chachi Presents: The 20 Sauciest Ladies of 2008!!
Before we begin there are some ladies that I left off this year for various reasons, mainly because of lack of space. But in my eyes, they are all beautiful.
Honorable Mentions
Anahi (Being number two in RBD isn’t so bad. Well…three if you count Miguel)
Foxxi MisQ (If Destiny’s Child was Japanese and less annoying, they would be Foxxi MisQ)
Yui (Nothing is hotter than a chick playing acoustic guitar. NOTHING)
Jolin Tsai (China’s version of Kumi Koda. Which isn’t a bad thing in the slightest. 2 billion Chinese people can’t be wrong!)
Sofia Vergara (To this day, I am pissed they cancelled “Knights of Prosperity” because she made that show WORK)
Min (F2T! Too bad she is way too young for me because she is odds are the best dancer I have seen since Usher circa 2004. And she is such a cutie IN THE LEGAL WAY)
Now let’s get started!
20. Ninel Conde (2006 Rank: NR)
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If you DON’T know who she is, I can’t blame you. However, if you have seen Rebelde then you know how fine she is. The fake boobies can go away but the junk in the trunk is just….muy bueno! Oh, and the mother/daughter bikini photo shoot? The most pivotal scene in TV history. EVER
19. Yuna Ito (2006 Rank: NR)
Unless you are never listening to me or reading this blog, you know how Yuna Ito rates in my book. She is the best combination of Korean and Japanese since Bi’s last album and bulgogi & sushi. Oh, and most importantly she can fricking SING. Check out “Heart” because it is bad ass.
18. Halle Berry (2006 Rank: 10)
Yeah, I still loves me some Halle. Too bad she had to go and have herself a child because as you all know having kids aint cool. They don’t have souls. Even still, Halle seems to be way too fine to have been divorced three times. I think something may be mentally wrong with her, hence the huge plummet from two years ago.
17. Salma Hayek (2006 Rank: 7)
She had all but disappeared after having her baby until I happened to see her on “Ugly Betty” in that black bra on the elevator and all I could say was DAAAAAAAAAMN! I am not a booby man but Salma has everything and an accent that just doesn’t quit. I could have done without the unibrow in “Frida” though. CREEPY.
16. Nelly Furtado (2006 Rank: 14)
Yeah, I have to admit it right now: I am a total sucker for eyes. The color isn’t important, if a lady has striking eyes she can pretty much convince me to punt a puppy (not that it takes much). So far, Nelly Furtado is one of the few ladies on the planet with eyes to do that. Combine that with a great voice and a very alluring face (albeit she needs to fucking EAT SOMETHING!) and you have one of my many baby boo’s.
15. Aly Michalka (2006 Rank: NR)
Okay, it is confession time. I LIKED “Phil From The Future” on the Disney Channel. I actually tolerated AJ & Aly’s music and hell I even could listen to “Potential Breakup Song” without wanting to find the nearest person and shoot them in the face. That being said, the SECOND thing about a woman that gets me is the smile. Aly has a show stopping (Fuck Shawn Michaels. You don’t own space, so stop acting like you do!) smile and reminds me of a miniature Mandy Moore…just so damn CUTE!
14. Shakira (2006 Rank: #2)
Shakira falls a huge 14 places from 2006 and I feel bad for doing it. I still think she has the most awesome hips in the world and her voice still annoys the shit out of me. But getting tag-teamed on camera with your husband and a married man…whoa. I will have to investigate!
13. Kumi Koda (2006 Rank: 11)
So Kumi Koda has done a good job finding food to eat and wearing clothes over the last two years. I still think she needs to not tan so much because she doesn’t even look Japanese anymore but MY GOD can she dance. I am rather surprised by her stepping her game up after my rant in 2006 about that. Oh, and she must have been working on her voice because she has more than one range now.
12. Inoue Waka (2006 Rank: NR)
Yes…my god yes. Everytime I look at Inoue Waka I just KNOW that I have to end up in Japan. Yes, I know they all don’t look like her but better they look like her if they are shapely and small than Coco or any of the other fake ass American models we have here. To top it off, her smile is Sowelu-esque.
11. Jessica Biel (2006 Rank: 9)
You know, I moved Jessica down this year for the sole reason that she is getting a tad bit too muscular for me. If there is one thing I hate more than skinny fuckers its muscular people. I think that she is falling into that Jessica Alba/Elisha Cuthbert problem of being cast in horrible roles because they think her being pretty will save the movie. Not I said the cat.
10. Hayden Panettiere (2006 Rank: NR)
Mmmm….Hayden. How much do I love thee? Infinitly now that you are legal! I kid; Hayden made some REALLY BAD movies watchable just by her presence. Dare I even mention “ Bring It On: All Or Nothing?” Too bad she is hanging out with the No Panty Crew which is NEVER a good thing if you are young and in Hollywood. But thems the breaks.
9. Kate Winslet (2006 Rank: #1)
Yes, she is back but she is no longer my one and only! To that I would say boo, but you have to actually be seen to be admired. My baby just dropped out of the public eye completely. Mostly to be a parent which I cannot hate at all about. However, I miss my baby boo! For all the ladies that ask me (and for no apparent reason YOU ALL DO) this is the kind of body type I prefer. It pisses me off how people call her shubby because she is ON POINT. To me, anyway.
8. Sowelu (2006 Rank: 18)
KAWAIII!!!!! Every time I look at Sowelu I just want to put her in my pocket! Look at her smile. It is just the most vibrant thing ever. She also has a great voice too; not one you would expect from someone so tiny.
7. Vida Guerra (2006 Rank: 5)
Yeah, you knew she would be on here. She has done some dumb things (Trying to make music, dissing Game, TRYING TO MAKE MUSIC! DID YOU HEAR PARIS HILTON’S ALBUM?! BECAUSE I SURE AS HELL DIDN’T!) over the last two years and intelligence makes up a HUGE part of beauty to me but…yeah she is packing heat in the back like Dante from Devil may Cry. Yeah, sometimes I can be a perv.
6. Lucy Liu (2006 Rank: NR)
Now my love for Lucy Liu isn’t as vocal as much as it is for some of the others on here but deep inside I believe that Lucy Liu is absolutely stunning. Now people say I have a thing for Asians but as Nolan is to shallow to be racist, I am WAY TOO JADED to be racist. Anyone that doesn’t think Lucy Liu is beautiful is a douche. Yes, she looks Asian because SHE IS ASIAN. And a beautiful one at that.
5. Dulce Maria (2006 Rank: NR)
She wasn’t even on here two years ago and now she is battling for my heart. Dulce Maria and all the ladies of RBD for that matter have made my life better since seeing them for the first time at Best Buy. If you haven’t seen the show, go ahead and watch on Youtube. I’ll wait. You see. DAMN, she fine! Love the whole “mall punk chic” look. Sexy.
4. Kristen Chenoweth (2006 Rank: NR)
Now I had heard of Kristen a while back on the Tony’s (I believe the one that Nathan Lane hosted…or maybe he was just on it) and her voice just blew me away. Then I heard her in Wicked and it was all over for me. There is nothing sexier than a woman that has a sense of humor, and not in that bullshit way that women say they “like a sense of humor” to not seem shallow. I mean a Tina Fey/Jeanne Garafolo quick wit type of way and if you heard her in interviews she is not the “dumb blond” that she portrays in the cinema. Oh, and her voice is MAGICAL.
3. Hyori Lee (2006 Rank: NR)
Okay, this is where a lot of people are going to complain about how I say I don’t like skinny people and yet Hyori Lee is this high. I accept and understand your criticism. There was a time (During her “Dark Angel” album) when she looked almost healthy. ALMOST. However, once again her smile gets me. Her voice isn’t as good as her peers (Yuna Ito, Sowelu even BoA) and her dancing isn’t my cup of tea (They can’t all be Min but who can be? She is the best out right now) but dammit, she is cute as a button. I love that smile :)
2. Jackie Guerrido (2006 Rank: 8)
She makes the weather watchable. I care not what you say about her, Jackie is quite teh hawt. I have yet to figure out why all of the American weather people are either dudes or mingers because that is the only profession on the planet (aside from porn star and role-playing video game character) where I believe the people MUST be attractive, male or female. I don’t want no beast-bot telling me a storm front is coming. I want the lady on the screen to give me a storm front…in my PANTS. Jackie Guerrido does NOT disappoint.
1. Mandy Moore (2006 Rank: 6)
If you didn’t know this was going to happen, then you are a moron. There is no one on this planet more perfect than Mandy Moore. NO ONE. There isn’t a flaw about her. She can sing, act, has a smile that could melt Nazis and seems like she wouldn’t mace me. In my desperate times…that’s all it takes. I kid, I kid. In all seriousness, I can’t think of a better embodiment of femininity than Mandy Moore. She is funny and talented (as evident by “Saved” and “American Dreamz”) and is beautiful without being cut up like the North Carolina defense against Kansas on Saturday. In other words…she’s got it all:
Okay, she’s no Kristen Chenoweth but few are. I LOVE YOU, MANDY!!!!
That is all for now! I will try to be back up tomorrow as I am actually heading into the hellhole for a few hours. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
