Hey, everybody! I’m back after about…twelve hours or so. I should really have a schedule for the blogging, but what can I say. I’m a renegade blogger, it’s how I do things. Well, it is the beginning of another workweek (boo to that shit) but it aint so bad. I got my “Wicked” tickets and got my tickets to “A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum” (Stand back! I take large steps!) which are pretty kick ass after finding out exactly where the hell they were. I am annoyed that there aren’t many good shows in the Springs (the last was the Pirates of Penzance, but I got stood the fuck up) but eh, thems the breaks.
So during my weekly excursion to the comic book store during my lunch break, I hung out and spoke to the comic book guys. Yeah…I’m a geek. Per usual, we had our rants about Garth Ennis (who never met a baby he couldn’t kill in a comic) and Brian Michael Bendis (who never met a superhero he couldn’t revamp/fuck up) and the conversation turned to something interesting. With the popularity of Heroes, 300 and other comic related vehicles/properties what ever happened to the superhero?
Now Zach and I had a conversation about how comics will never be in the mainstream in terms of prime time TV because they don’t relate to regular people. I have always been a believer in that is what makes a SUPERHERO. After reading Civil War, even after how heart wrenching the deaths of Bill Foster (Black Goliath) and Steve Rogers (Captain America, who earned MEGA cool point from me after standing up for not only what being American was about, but what being a hero was about) I realized that Marvel comics are going to suck ass for a LONG TIME.
For those that know, the aftermath of the Civil War is that heroes must now register as ‘superheroes’ and be supported/work for the government. They are now pretty much just government employees that can move buildings. By being forced to work for various governments and join teams to fight crime, they are no longer superheroes. They are…super-people? Spider-man was a superhero with human problems (coping with the power that he received and understanding the responsibility of not only being a hero but a human being). His conflicts were what defined him because in the end, even with the age old line (With great power comes great responsibility) it was his CHOICE to go out and make a difference using the powers given to him. He wasn’t forced to, he just made the right choice to help those that couldn’t. By Bendis creating this continuity of registered superheroes, they are no longer ‘superheroes’. At this point, they are just police officers or soldiers. As heroic as they are, it is their job to do so. Characters like Batman and Green Arrow used their abilities to fight for what is right, above and beyond what was required of them. It isn’t their responsibility to save their cities from crime, it is a choice. A role they took on to make a scary world safe. By taking away the choice, you take away the hero. Congratulations, Bendis. First you redid the Clone Wars and now you have destroyed Marvel Comics. I bet you rear naked choke puppies too, you sick bastard.
So yesterday I officially started the SABTAM (Send Akon Back To Africa Movement) and it seems I was justified. First he was working with “The King of R&Pee” R.Kelly. Then he decided to make shitty song after shitty song that women seem to love for no apparent reason. Then he gave the world T-Pain, the world’s number one predalope. For those that don’t know, I got that from Griff. I believe it means “half Preadtor, half antelope, ALL UGLY.” Now, to complete the Teen Thumping Trinity of Perverts (or 3TP as I will call them) Akon is now working with Michael Jackson. Man…I don’t know what to think anymore.
You know, I hate the fact that people say ‘Akon does charity for Africa! Why do you hate him so much?’ Well, charity is fine. Good for him and whoopty fucking doo. I don’t give to charity in Africa. Because I give to charity in America. You know, giving doesn’t make you a good fucking person. Remember “New Jack City” people?! Was Nino Brown a hell of a guy because he gave out turkeys during the holiday? Did that make up for the fact that the nigga sold CRACK TO THE SAME PEOPLE for 363 days of the damn year? I didn’t think so. Same thing. He gives back and he poisons the youth with ‘wining on the floor.’ First off you non-reading motherfucker it is WINDING. Learn to spell. Second off, any woman that does that on a dance floor and doesn’t get $20 is officially a fucking moron. Just like any man that will acknowledge her stupidity by buying her a drink. You see, ignorance is a circular theory.
You know, over the last few months I had been letting people get off too easy for being fucktards. After the whole job change thing and just trying to be a nice person (Hell, I deleted all of my porn the other day. I got a 300gb hard drive for my anime and Justice League! Wow…from pervert to geek) the dumbening of America has hit a breakneck pace. Peeps. It’s time. People….
THE REVOLUTION IS BACK, BITCHES!!
I put it on hold after college. Then, I put it on hold when I got laid off. Then I put in on hold because I became a sniveling whining bitch of a man. Not anymore. For the good of the peeps, it is time. The Revolution is back and I am taking no prisoners. We the peeps will be the new superheroes. We will fight for what is right. We will storm the streets and make them red with the blood of the stupid. We will show the world that no longer will being an idiot be tolerated. Some people have called me crazy. Some people have called me intolerant. Some people have called me a drunkard. Um…okay one out of three. Some people have said that my stance of the swift, violent and stylized elimination of the stupid is madness. No peeps. This isn’t madness….
THIS….IS…THE REVOLUTION!!!
There is salvation! There is a path to the ending of all the stupid in the world! And I will take my manasume (Don’t worry, The Equalizer is still around) and lead you to the Promised Land that is the future without the morons! Now comes the real question….who is with me?
WHO IS COMING WITH ME?!
Seriously, I need to know. I have to have an idea on how much punch and pie will I need. Yes, the revolution will not only be marketed, IT WILL BE CATERED! A revolutionary can’t smite the stupid on an empty stomach. Well, I got to go back to work. The revolution must be funded! And bills don’t pay themselves. I will be back up tomorrow maybe after American Idol. Definitly before the Countdown on Friday. Until then, stay up peeps. And check out the new theme song for The Revolution!
Freak Nasty is back, fishes! When I dip you dip we dip! Digging The Revolution without a shovel! Just kidding, I’m still working on the song. Any ideas? Let me know.
Chachi Out.
