Okay it is a fine, fine Sunday afternoon and even with all the alcohol I consumed last night….no hangover. Something is really wrong with me and the amount I can consume. The shit aint healthy, I tells you. So it about time to FINALLY finish up the 600th Post Extravaganza Omnibus and I left one question hanging so I will get to that one first. So everyone sit back, eyes forward and watch the road because it is time to bring back the bus for a few more stops!
Passion of Chachi Omnibus: People's Choice Part III!
Question #1: At What Point Do Girls Go From “Little Angel” To Fucking Bitch That Uses Men’s Feelings As Their Little Play Things?!
Alright, Joey Joe Joe I got to your question. First off I have to say that this is a rather loaded question because there is honestly no simple answer to this one. It is one I have actually been asked about three times on Blogger and I have either reworded the question or just ranted about certain ASPECTS of the way women address men’s feelings. However, I think I want to tackle this one head on now.
Okay, the first thing to understand about women is that just like all creatures of habit (Which are ALL CREATURES, except Sasquatch. For Sasquatch the rules are different) they are not complex. That is a myth created by women to explain their illogical thought processes and actions. I look at women like the Run-and-Shoot offense in the 80’s and early 90’s. When you looked at the playbook there were about 135 or so plays…but they were all the same play with minor route adjustments. This first time you saw the receivers run around in mass confusion there was blown coverage and open spots on the field that resulted in big numbers. When you saw the plays over and over, it was obvious that if you played a zone and shifted YOUR defensive tactics that the Run-and-Shoot became ineffective against an athletic and smart defense that knew how to read formations and shifts. Now in college that works because a great system with good enough (Not great) players can confuse any team. However, once those same players or that same system got to the NFL either they had to adapt to the game or get defeated by it. Most did the latter.
Now let’s address the parallel. When it comes to the male/female dynamic most men are unfamiliar with the tactics of women and usually either get defeated or learn a new way to win. That is how a woman who THOUGHT she was smart in high school or college ended up getting knocked up by some dude that was a sweet-talker but couldn’t tell his ass from a bottle of scotch. That man figured out a tactic to defeat the unorthodox actions of women. Some men are lovers & leavers, some men will kick your ass or treat you like shit. It is a mechanism to handle your actions, whether logical or illogical. Now women will say they are adaptable all they want but the simple truth is that women, like cats, freak out when something changes no matter how small. Now I can’t say whether it is learned at home, school or in social environments but girls eventually learn that their gullyhole is their only logical source of power. You can’t stick your fist in a woman’s college degree (Genitalia! Okay Zach, I like that song now), you know? Since the vag is just like any other form of collateral the illusion of a man being able to get it from them is a tool that they usually use to its fullest. You ever wonder why most women are bad at video games? They don’t know how to adjust to a glitch in the Matrix.
This all lies back to a post I had a long time about how it is not okay for a man to say no because we do not have the vaginas. When it comes to feelings women are taught or it is assumed that all men think with their wangs. Wangs and vaginas are like peanut butter and jelly: they go together in a stick and gooey mess that usually needs something white and milky to lubricate. Eeeeewwww! Now since that is their main attack strategy (Lead men with sex) there is a big problem if that doesn’t work. Women don’t have a contingency plan. They hate GW Bush so much but they never have an exit strategy either. Well, I won’t say women DON’T have a back-up plan as much as they never have a formulated plan on how to use that bitch. I can say from experience that when as a man I didn’t let a woman make me do something I didn’t want to or knew that she was using her sexuality (Not necessarily sex all the time) to influence me to make a choice I was met with the same reaction every time:
Bewilderment, mortification and emotional breakdowns
Or as I like to call it the “9-Man Goal line Blitz” technique. I say nine men because she hasn’t gone ALL in because she thinks maybe she didn’t get her point across the first time that “If you do what I am asking you may get sex from me” but at the same time she needs some sort of defense if you STILL reject the notion that you can’t be controlled by her sexuality at that moment. If you continue to reject her sexuality as a weapon…may God or whatever deity you prey to help you because that is when she becomes “One-Winged Bitch Angel”:
Music and everything. You have to understand one thing Triple J; you are supposed to be the same as all men at all time. Or at least the same as all the men that the woman in question has dealt with. If isn’t about how she responds to the stimuli for a woman. It is about how YOU respond to her. If you don’t respond to the stimuli that she puts out either:
1. The way she expects you to respond.
2. The way OTHERS have responded in that situation.
Then you are outside of her norm and much like a feline she will either lash out or cry as a defense mechanism (Because most men FREAK OUT when women cry. I just learned to yet “I need an adult! And run like hell, boy!) because at that point emotional (ILLOGICAL) discord takes over. You see, women claim to be “emotional” beings but it ends up being an “illogical” reaction because if you are using your sexuality as a means to an end and you didn’t get your preferred ending. How is being emotional about that situation healthy or even fair to yourself? You are emotionally broken up or furious because someone didn’t want to be used or feel the same way about you that you felt about them. I’m sorry but that is life. Becoming a bitch because someone didn’t do what you want them to even though you pulled out your shikai (Yes, sex is bankai in this case comes later) is no better than when a man gets upset at you for not giving him the digits when he buys you drinks. If you don’t see the parallel, you are a fuckwit.
So let’s bring all of this together because I kind of went in four directions. It isn’t about WHEN women become vindictive bitches that will do whatever they need to ahead. All I can say is….it happens before the age of 22. It is about WHY. Now that can vary but the big reason they play with your emotions is because they can. Quite simply, you let them and that is the answer to your question. As soon as women realize they CAN play with your emotions, just like a man that realizes he can get away with cheating on a girlfriend because she doesn’t do anything about it, they WILL play with your emotions. Trust me, I have been there and I can say about four or five of my best friends have been there as well. Just like I said about men not being smart but they know how to exploit women for sex. Women may not be smart either but they know how to take advantage of men to get what they want. If they CAN’T take advantage of that man to get what they want whether it be attention or sex, and they KNOW they won’t succumb to their advances, you are of non-service to them. There is an illogical emotional factor of wondering whether they are desired which is understandable. We all want to be admired and in some cases desired but if that is your sole reason of being (Which for attention whores it is. You know who you are) and you have nothing else to give you happiness or comfort aside from being wanted then you are really kind of empty inside. Which is why I say women are succubus. I so need to turn these blogs into a textbook and become a teacher.
That was quite the long trip but we have another stop on this Omnibus! In a little reversal, I ask a question of myself. It’s like the mirror version of Chachi, Star Trek style!
Question #2: Am I Really That Bad Of A Person?
Hmm, that is a very good question. You know when the person asking the question is YOUR MOM (No shit, she asked me this when we went to lunch the other day) that you may just have a problem. However, I can honestly say that I don’t believe I am an asshole. I don’t go around hitting women (Even though there is a reason to go upside ANYONE’S head….just never a woman) or pissing on minors so I know for a fact I am not a bad person. However, I can see how people could think I am a dick. Case in point, let me go back to an old blog from June of 2006. I was upset after hanging with a certain someone the day before and as usual we had an argument. During that argument, she decided to “tell me about myself” and said that I was:
Mean (No, bitch just couldn’t take a joke)
Rude (Can be, depends on if you get my humor)
Immature (Hmm. I see making the same mistake repeatedly and calling your fuckup a “learning experience” as immature. Not watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force)
Egotistical (I am the most self-depreciating person on the damn planet. Although that is also a sign of megalomania….)
Nerdy (Yeah….more of a geek than a nerd, though)
Possessive (This one is novel. I think the reason I am the way I am now is the fact I WASN’T possessive but more on that later)
Not Funny (About 200 readers of this blog say otherwise. Although 97% haven’t MET me so that number is deceiving)
Petty (No, I am not petty. I am a lot of things but not petty)
Out of touch with my emotions (Hmm. Well, I could see how one could say that because I clam up rather than hurt feelings or create a conflict when I care for someone. Not a good trait, got over it but it is why I don’t date very often. That and being about as cuddly as a coked out Gary Busey)
Uncompromising (AND HOW, MOTHERFUCKER! I do not back down if you are being a dumb bitch. Never will, either. I expect no less from my lady on my end as well)
This was also part of the rant where this specific person called me anti-social. One think I didn’t say in the post is that I asked her if she asked what anti-social meant and she said someone that wasn’t social. So I ask “If I am so anti-social, how did we become friends? I struck up conversation with you, right?” She then backtracked from her definition but did not backtrack from her stance which is a standard tactic when people are wrong but that is life. Let us recap about what “anti-social” means:
1. Shunning the society of others; not sociable.
2. Hostile to or disruptive of the established social order; marked by or engaging in behavior that violates accepted mores: gangs engaging in vandalism and other antisocial behavior.
3. Antagonistic toward or disrespectful of others; rude.
Now the phrase “shunning society” is not the same as “disliking society.” I really don’t like bros or dumb bitches or niggas. That doesn’t mean I SHUN society because I have bro friends and female friends. Not all are dumb but they do dumb things and so do I. Those that know me will tell you that I am the first to talk to someone who is being quiet for feeling shunned because I was not always the outgoing, popular guy the peeps know as Chachi today. I am one of the more outgoing people wherever I go whether it be NDK or a party full of people I don’t know. It I was anti-social, wouldn’t I not want to be there or just start stabbing motherfuckers in the kneecaps? Exactly because shunning of the stupid is different than shunning all of society.
Hostile or disruptive? Now that is all about perspective. I can understand how certain people can see me as stand-offish or hostile because I believe strongly in nothing, I just have simple, logical views (except for bears, because them bastards are dangerous). If you are going to argue about religion with me, I can see your side but I couldn't (for the most part) give a fuck about it if you are trying to convince me of its truth. I make it a point to understand and acknowledge both sides of an argument (no matter how wrong the other party is or even I am) but at the end of the day, if one side is not willing to understand my point (ESPECIALLY if I am right) I will become hostile to a point because it would be like talking to a puppy about the tuck rule. Not only do they not know, they refuse to understand. I may not agree, but I will always listen and understand the stance of the other party. So why even make the fucking attempt to discuss with someone that has their own set ideas and belief sets and REFUSES to acknowledge yours no matter how correct? That can be seen as being hostile because I don't compromise on things that I am right on. That shit ain't gonna happen. Now if I am wrong I will admit it and if it is a discussion based on belief I will attempt to come to a shared agreement. I'm not going to say I'm wrong when I am right, and it seems that is what people want me to do. Fuck that, I'm hostile then.
Antagonistic and rude. Ahhhh, rude. I will come back to that fucker. As for being antagonistic, there is nothing better than a spirited debate IMHO. Not an ARGUMENT, a discussion about something with two viewpoints that are debated between two knowledgeable people is fun and insightful. I will admit that I do start debates, but not to argue. Case in point, I have been told by some women I have dated (or was attempting to) that I started arguments for no reason. Well, a discussion about politics isn't 'starting an argument' in my eyes, it's a discussion about politics. Now if SHE sees it that way, well not much I can do about that. The last thing I want to do is start an argument with a women because a good percentage (I will go with 25-35%) of them:
1. Don't know HOW to debate, they just know how to argue. (There is a difference. A debate is backed by logic and is a dynamic. An argument is just irrational bickering. I don't do well in those)
2. Don't understand what the discussion or debate is about. (Which I am guilty of. I have gotten into arguments with Zach that I am in over my head in and I will just say 'Yeah, dude we are out of my element.' Know your battles and concede when you are over your head. There is nothing wrong with not knowing about a subject in a discussion, but there is something wrong with arguing about a subject while knowing nothing.)
3. Will do anything just to WIN. (Arguing via bullshit will only get you so far. If you don't know it, you don't know it. Using circular reasoning, slippery slopes and just plain WTF tactics (crying, screaming, and changing the subject to an argument that isn't pertinent to the discussion) isn't debating, it's being fucking stupid. Have a stance and back it, right or wrong.
Anyway, back to my point. I like to discuss topics because I like women who are quick on their feet. Not ones that love to argue because arguing accomplishes nothing. Now back to this rude thing. You know what, I know the internet is vast and bad news travels fast. Anyone out there who has ever called me rude has usually been put in a situation where they didn't get my humor or they had to be told something that they didn't want to hear. You see, I don't have the thickest skin (I still have feelings and yes, even the Chachi has been hurt and *gasp* heartbroken) but I know what the fuck my faults are and will admit them. Can I be abrasive? Depending on the situation definitely. A spaz? It's my middle name, sometimes I freak out when I can't get through to people (You will remain nameless but…I will continue to try to help). A tad Buddha-esqe? Well, let's just say I partake in a few festive food items...En masse. An egotist with megalomaniacal tendencies? I have four monikers and refer to myself in the third person, you tell me. With all that being said, I know my faults, but I know I have good points. I believe that my honesty and humor is confused with being rude.
When it is all said and done, I don’t believe I am a bad person. The big thing with the blog (and it kind of worries me) is that there are a lot of jokes that are inside that I try to make sure everyone gets. A lot of times, my humor goes over (Or under when I get low brow) people’s heads and they cannot tell if I am seriously being mean to them or not. Case in point, I don’t want people to think that because I said rape or domestic abuse can be funny in context of well timed humor that I advocate both acts. They are reprehensible and anyone that knows me knows my history with that and how I feel about the people that have perpetrated it. Yet, I sometimes feel that people don’t “get” the humor. That really begins to wear on me after a while but at the same time I don’t want to get rid of the humor that makes me….well….me.
Another thing over the last six months or so is that people think that when I say something to them that it is a personal attack. If I comment about something you have done in humor or even in anger I am not judging you. I am commenting on your ACTIONS. I honestly believe that you can separate the action from the person, so if you are a woman that has made some (OR MULTIPLE!) bad choices, it doesn’t make you a bad person. If you do the same thing over again and expect the same caring response it makes you a dipshit….but not a bad person. Same for me. What I say may be offensive and occasionally tasteless but I am not a bad person. You know what I am? I'M AN A-SS-HO-LE!
Love that song.
Well, this bus has stopped for tonight! You go ahead and get your pajamas and get your favorite book and I will be up to read you a bedtime story when I finish my pipe. I will be back up sometime this week before the Countdown on Friday with a blog about….something. Until then, stay up peeps!
Chachi Out!
