What is up, people! It is a rather lazy day Sunday and all I got going is laundry and self regret. Usually at the same time. But what is done is done and all I can do is get drunk to make the voices go away. Soju, here I come! But before then, I have a huge beef with people and their non-dancing asses. Now don’t get me wrong, I am no Minwoo but come on. I mean we all remember the dumbfuckery that was “The Soulja Boy” and that got us nowhere, if just closer to doing minstrel shows for Blacks and many a dance related injury for Whites. Once again, Mexicans slept and Asians waited with a zen-like patience. Gotta offend everyone.
Now I rant about these every few months or so but seriously, when was the last dance that everyone could get up and do not called “The Cupid Shuffle?”:
As DJ UNK said, grandma can do it with her cane! Grandma can’t do the Soulja Boy, she’ll break a fucking hip! And I have to say, I was feeling the Fred Sanford. Anyway, it is time for my first in a series of as many until I feel like stopping posts about kicking it old school. So I bring to you the first….
Passion of Chachi Presents: The Decline of…..Dancing
Now the art of the dance has been used for several things. Whether it was to convey joy or whether it is to acquire a mate, dance serves many functions. Now for those that don’t think it is for acquiring a mate please see:” Getting your eagle” on for women because a woman with her legs open garners a lot more attention than a woman doing the “Walk It Out”:
Which is sad because a woman that can do that deserves lovin more than a woman that pops, drops and locks it. Also, see men and the “Make It Rain” which isn’t a DANCE but since dance has fallen to shit in the last few years….it kind of counts:
That and let’s face it, women flock to floating money like Jews flock to floating money. AAAAWWW, SNAP! That wasn’t cool. Okay, like Black men flock to overweight White women. Gotta offend everyone. Back to my point if there even happens to BE one. It seems that dancing has lost its way. Now we can all sit back and blame Soulja Boy but it isn’t ALL his fault. Now he is the nail in the coffin but dance has been dead and chilling out with rigor mortis for years. Here are the reasons why.
Reason 1: No Instructions Included….But They ARE FUCKING NEEDED.
Okay, can someone sit back and TELL me how to do the Soulja Boy? Seriously, there are more moves in that fucking dance as there are in a Knowshon Moreno touchdown run. And they aren’t even as cool. You see, dances now are a combination of even SHITTER dances to make one uber-shitty dance sensation. With all those dances there are a lot of movements and a very slim margin of error lest you end up bumping into someone or punching someone in the eye which they fucking deserve for doing that dance. Now don’t get me wrong, it caught my attention for a good five weeks or so….until I saw the dance. Then I broke it all down to learn it and told myself “Self, you look like MC Hammer on crack….but not in the good way. You see, the level of difficulty in the dance wasn’t high but the grasping of all the spastic, non-rhythmic and totally out of sync movements made it so that you had to have an instruction guide just to get past the first verse. You see, a dance has to be simple AND fun to do. I have to say that I didn’t have one iota of fun doing the Soulja Boy. NOT ONE, at least after I got over the novelty of learning it and realized I looked like the neighborhood spastic hepped up on jujubes and smack. Yes there were videos on the net and YouTube but going online to learn a dance is like not having a CD of your operating system when you buy a computer: BULLSHIT. Real dances tell you what to do DURING the song. See: THE HUMPTY DANCE!:
How do you DO the Humpty Dance? Well, allow Humpty Hump to tell you. I will translate for the non-gangsta macks:
First I limp to the side like my leg was broken
Shakin' and twitchin' kinda like I was smokin'
Crazy wack funky
(Translation: Get on the floor and jump around and flail your arms like Kermit the Frog if he was on fire and about to be raped by Gonzo. That was his thing….raping frogs….with his nose)
People say ya look like M.C. Hammer on crack, Humpty
That's all right 'cause my body's in motion
It's supposed to look like a fit or a convulsion
Anyone can play this game
This is my dance, y'all, Humpty Hump's my name
No two people will do it the same
Ya got it down when ya appear to be in pain
(Translation: You may not look like you are doing it right but if you look like you are doing it right your fool ass is doing it wrong)
Humpin', funkin', jumpin',
jig around, shakin' ya rump,
and when the dude a chump pump points a finger like a stump
tell him step off, I'm doin' the Hump.
(Translation: Don’t let anyone tell you that you are doing the dance wrong and if they do, smack that motherfucker up like you should a small child that talks too fucking much)
You see? A hell of a lot better than the Soulja Boy or the Shawty Lo dance (If you could really call that a dance. Looks more like some shit you would do on the fucking Wii Sports) just with a little bit of direction. Oh, and keeping it funky but that is what dance is all about.
Reason #2: Can’t Groove If You Aint Got No Room!
Now we have all been to the club. It has been about five months since I went to a club and actually DANCED lest you count NDK which I don’t because that is a different world. The club would be a lot cooler if they played “I’m Coming” by Rain but that is neither here nor there. That being said, a club’s main goal is not to make sure you have a good time. It is to make sure you get drunk and spend all your money whether it be on some woman to hopefully take her home and (Keep your fingers cross, pervert fucks!) sodomize her like an 11 year old boy in ancient Greece or on yourself so as a woman you can get drunk….and then be sodomized like an 11 year old boy in ancient Greece. Do the math ladies: DRINKING = SODOMY. The Greeks knew it, Kobe Bryant knew it, frat boys know it (Don’t take off my pants, bro!) and now you know it. Use this information wisely and cut back after two Long Islands. I’m just saying.
Back to the ranch, though. Who here has been to the Ritz in the CSP? Now how many of you could actually MOVE through The Ritz until last call due to how many people are crammed in that bitch? They are blatantly over maximum capacity and although it is more of a bar than a club, it is like that everywhere and almost every club I have been to in Denver, Las Vegas, Phoenix, Seattle, Salt Lake City (Mormons get down, too! Just very lamely) and Boise (Which has the most awesome gays EVAR! Seriously, you guys are cool). Your comfort and ability to have fun are put to the side for the ability for you to be involved in their quest for more money. You ever been at a club and people try to do the “Cupid Shuffle?” I can say right now, I have seen more niggas fight over getting bumped because there’re is no more room for the third left in the bridge or they get kicked in the back of the heel than anything else out there. And if there is one thing niggas LOVE to do, it is fuck up a good time for everyone else because someone “looked at them funny.” Yet, punching someone while doing the Young Joc dance (DUMBEST. DANCE. EVER) I feel is justified. But in this case, it isn’t their fault. No point in making club songs about dances if people can’t dance in the club.
Reason #3: Music Sucks
Now this is kind of a copout but think about it like this: if artists can’t make a song about jack shit in general, what makes me think they have the talent to make a song about a dance? The key figure of R&B would rather piss on you than make you dance. Oh, and don’t call “stepping” a dance because it is exactly that: stepping. It’s like calling DDR dancing….WHICH IT ISNT. Not exactly the guy I would rely on to create the next dance sensation. The key figures in rap are either too busy feeding their own ego (Kanye, I love you like no other but you really need to tone down the dipshittery), too busy being simian fucktard assholes (Fiddy, you mushmouthed cockmonger. You suck and I hope you die. That is all) or dead. And dead men don’t make dance hits. Except maybe Falco and shit:
Aaahhh, Bloodhound Gang. Definitely better than Blink 182. Anyway, music has fallen off to the point that there is no money in albums because the days of forcing us to buy a full album with 1 or 2 good songs is pretty much over. That and people are fucking stupid enough to let iTunes and record companies charge you 99 cents to $1.99 for a song so there is no need to make GOOD music that people want to dance to when you can make a good song that is great for niggas and dumb bitches to have as a ringtone (See: Fergie for the bitches and MIMS/Yung Joc for the niggas. Man, two Yung Joc references in one blog? I am off my game) and make 10 times the money. Face it, musicians don’t make music for the fans or the love of the art. They make it for the money. Aint nothing wrong with that but just be true to your fuckery.
With all that said, it saddens me to see the days of dancing are officially over. I have said it before and I will say it again: no one dances anymore. The club looks more like Caligula to a Polow Tha Don beat than a scene from House Party or even Less Than Zero (AWESOME MOVIE, BTW!). Seriously, the next time I get accosted on the dance floor I am suing everyone for harassment and getting my cash. The days of the Tootsie Roll are over. Which is sad because it replaced the butterfly….because it was old. So we are now stuck to dancing at anime conventions which is sad in a way but at the end of the day….I can do the Caramelledansen:
And THAT is fun. That is all for now, peeps. Odds are I will do another post sometime this week to bitch about how shitty my life is going. Until then, stay up and….
Dansa med oss
Klappa era händer
Gör som vi gör
Ta några steg åt vänster
Lyssna och lär
Missa inte chansen
Nu är vi här med
Caramelldansen!
Look it up, bitches.
Chachi Out
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
Laziness....You Never Appreciate It Until It's Gone.
What is up, peeps! It is my last day of freedom for a while so to celebrate, it is time for the Friday tradition!
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We have three debut videos this week, all from artists who have had number one videos! Makes for a great fall and winter! Let’s get started with the return of my original baby boo!
20. Kumi Koda – Taboo (New Entry)
MY BABY BOO IS BACK!! After over 18 months of lackluster (Read: BAD) videos Kumi Koda is finally back with some hawtness! While it is not up to the standard of “Juicy” which created a paradigm shift in how videos have been created ever since, it is still hawt as hell. Catchy little ditty, too.
19. Wonder Girls - Nobody (New Entry)
HELL YES! The greatest thing to come out of Korea since Bulldog Mansion (Buy “Funk”…RIGHT FUCKING NOW! Yes it is old but it is SO WORTH IT!) is back with an even BETTER video than before! Although JYP is there (He kind of annoys me) he doesn’t take away from one of the more original videos that ripped off a Beyonce led movie this year.
18. Kelun – CHU-BURA (Last Week #14, One Week at #1)
It looks like the run is over for Kelun. It was a huge summer for this band with a number one video and a Top Three video so it can’t be all that bad. And here is a spoiler…THREE CHACHI AWARD NOMINATIONS!
17. Yuna Ito – Miss You (Last Week #19)
Mmm….I missed you Miss Ito. How have you been? Oh, you have a new video and it moves up two spots this week? Very nice. Can….can I touch your hair?
16. T.I. – What Up, What’s Happening (New Entry)
Two months, three T.I. videos. Yes, the KING IS BACK! This video is so simple in its greatness as he pretty much tells those that hate to eat a dick….Monarch style. Also, I don’t know what a Shawty Lo is, but he just got SERVED.
15. Alicia Keys - Superwoman (Last Week #18)
Miss Alicia looks to end this year how she began it: at number one. She moves up another three spots this week as this makes her fourth video of 2008 to chart. She and Kanye are really battling for the artist of the year with one other person.
14. Yui – Summer Song (Last Week #10)
Yui happens to be that person With three number two videos this year she has come so close to being the best there ever was but man….no one remembers number two. I still love you!
13. T.I. – Whatever You Like (Last Week #16)
More Clifford! TI moves up another three spots this week as we look forward to eventual Album of the Year nominee “Paper Chase” on Tuesday. I have it (Don’t ask how) and dammit….it is awesome.
12. Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl (Last Week #6, Plunge of the Week)
Miss Hyori falls a HUGE six places this week and out of the Top 10! Very good year for her and it was nice to see her back….and not ripping off of Britney Spears. Although I liked “Get Ya” a hell of a lot more than “Do Something” but the law is the law.
11. Hyori Lee – Hey Mr. Big! (Last Week #13)
More Hyori! She is on the verge of having her second Top 10 video of the year and can I just say that….damn she is fine. That is all. We are moving on to the Top 10!
10. Maroon 5 – Goodnight, Goodnight (Last Week #11)
After over a year and a half Maroon 5 is back! They move up one spot this week with this interesting video with the beginning and the ending of the video playing on the opposite side. Very faboo.
9. Bennie K feat SOFFet – Music Traveler (Last Week #8)
NEW BENNIE K VIDEO! It is all animated, though. I need my Yuki and Cico in their all natural and soft flesh! So soft…I’m creepy!
8. Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On (Last Week #4, Three Weeks at #1)
After holding down the Countdown for almost a month, Young Jeezy and Kanye fall four spots and out of the Top Five. New video from Jeezy but much like ”Go Getta” last year I am really not feeling the follow up. It may grow on me, though.
7. UVERworld – Koishikute (Last Week #9)
The World is slowly turning and moving up! They are just short of the Top Five which is a place they haven’t reached since the middle of last year. It has been a long stretch but they look to be back in the mix!
6. Hearts Grow – Sora (Last Week #12, Biggest Mover)
Huge moves by Hearts Grow! Last week they moved up five spots and they TOPPED THAT by vaulting up six spots this week! Is this video that good? Yes. Is this song that awesome? HELL YES! Can they get their first number one video on the third time? We will have to see!
5. Game feat. Lil Wayne – My Life (Last Week #7)
The Game and Lil Wayne move up two spots this week after stalling last week. Game is looking at being one of the big hip hop artists of 2008 after finally getting the monkey off his back of never having a number one video. Can he go two in a row?
4. NERD feat Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pusha-T – Everybody Nose (Remix) (Last Week #2)
After coming close to knocking off C.O.L.O.U.R.S. last week, the CRS posse falls two spots out of the Top Three. You know, I have been listening to this song for about three months now so by the time the video came out I was kind of played out of it. But still, kick ass video. We are down to three!
3. John Legend feat Andre 3000 – Green Light (Last Week #5)
Andre 3000 is running 2008! John Legend brings him along as he achieves his SIXTH Top Three video! “Evolver” should be out soon and dammit I am so waiting for that! Can John get his record fourth number one video after failing on his last two attempts? Well, he will have to take down two heavyweights to do so!
2. FLOW – WORLD END (Last Week #3)
FLOW is one step away from their second number one video! It has been over TWO YEARS since “Re:Member” went to number one and over a year since their last video charted but they are making up for all of that right now by moving up one to the runner up spot. With all of that, they fell short to the reigning champ!
1. Fonzworth Bentley feat Andre 3000 & Kanye West – Everybody [Don’t Stop] (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
Don’t stop, baby! Fonzworth and Company hold it down on the chart for the second straight week! Yeah, I am just as shocked as you are but man this song is the mad notes! And nothing beats Andre 3000….nothing. Big ups to COLOURS!
That is all for now! Tune in next week to see if Fonzworth Bentley can make it three straight weeks at the top! Or will FLOW return to the top after two long years? Or will John Legend FINALLY get his record breaking 4th number one video? Tune in seven days from now to find out!
Well, I am out. Sushi tonight and then I will do my rant on the state of dancing on Sunday before I start work in hell on Monday. Yeah, I will be a pissed off panda until November. Until next time, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out!
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We have three debut videos this week, all from artists who have had number one videos! Makes for a great fall and winter! Let’s get started with the return of my original baby boo!
20. Kumi Koda – Taboo (New Entry)
MY BABY BOO IS BACK!! After over 18 months of lackluster (Read: BAD) videos Kumi Koda is finally back with some hawtness! While it is not up to the standard of “Juicy” which created a paradigm shift in how videos have been created ever since, it is still hawt as hell. Catchy little ditty, too.
19. Wonder Girls - Nobody (New Entry)
HELL YES! The greatest thing to come out of Korea since Bulldog Mansion (Buy “Funk”…RIGHT FUCKING NOW! Yes it is old but it is SO WORTH IT!) is back with an even BETTER video than before! Although JYP is there (He kind of annoys me) he doesn’t take away from one of the more original videos that ripped off a Beyonce led movie this year.
18. Kelun – CHU-BURA (Last Week #14, One Week at #1)
It looks like the run is over for Kelun. It was a huge summer for this band with a number one video and a Top Three video so it can’t be all that bad. And here is a spoiler…THREE CHACHI AWARD NOMINATIONS!
17. Yuna Ito – Miss You (Last Week #19)
Mmm….I missed you Miss Ito. How have you been? Oh, you have a new video and it moves up two spots this week? Very nice. Can….can I touch your hair?
16. T.I. – What Up, What’s Happening (New Entry)
Two months, three T.I. videos. Yes, the KING IS BACK! This video is so simple in its greatness as he pretty much tells those that hate to eat a dick….Monarch style. Also, I don’t know what a Shawty Lo is, but he just got SERVED.
15. Alicia Keys - Superwoman (Last Week #18)
Miss Alicia looks to end this year how she began it: at number one. She moves up another three spots this week as this makes her fourth video of 2008 to chart. She and Kanye are really battling for the artist of the year with one other person.
14. Yui – Summer Song (Last Week #10)
Yui happens to be that person With three number two videos this year she has come so close to being the best there ever was but man….no one remembers number two. I still love you!
13. T.I. – Whatever You Like (Last Week #16)
More Clifford! TI moves up another three spots this week as we look forward to eventual Album of the Year nominee “Paper Chase” on Tuesday. I have it (Don’t ask how) and dammit….it is awesome.
12. Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl (Last Week #6, Plunge of the Week)
Miss Hyori falls a HUGE six places this week and out of the Top 10! Very good year for her and it was nice to see her back….and not ripping off of Britney Spears. Although I liked “Get Ya” a hell of a lot more than “Do Something” but the law is the law.
11. Hyori Lee – Hey Mr. Big! (Last Week #13)
More Hyori! She is on the verge of having her second Top 10 video of the year and can I just say that….damn she is fine. That is all. We are moving on to the Top 10!
10. Maroon 5 – Goodnight, Goodnight (Last Week #11)
After over a year and a half Maroon 5 is back! They move up one spot this week with this interesting video with the beginning and the ending of the video playing on the opposite side. Very faboo.
9. Bennie K feat SOFFet – Music Traveler (Last Week #8)
NEW BENNIE K VIDEO! It is all animated, though. I need my Yuki and Cico in their all natural and soft flesh! So soft…I’m creepy!
8. Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On (Last Week #4, Three Weeks at #1)
After holding down the Countdown for almost a month, Young Jeezy and Kanye fall four spots and out of the Top Five. New video from Jeezy but much like ”Go Getta” last year I am really not feeling the follow up. It may grow on me, though.
7. UVERworld – Koishikute (Last Week #9)
The World is slowly turning and moving up! They are just short of the Top Five which is a place they haven’t reached since the middle of last year. It has been a long stretch but they look to be back in the mix!
6. Hearts Grow – Sora (Last Week #12, Biggest Mover)
Huge moves by Hearts Grow! Last week they moved up five spots and they TOPPED THAT by vaulting up six spots this week! Is this video that good? Yes. Is this song that awesome? HELL YES! Can they get their first number one video on the third time? We will have to see!
5. Game feat. Lil Wayne – My Life (Last Week #7)
The Game and Lil Wayne move up two spots this week after stalling last week. Game is looking at being one of the big hip hop artists of 2008 after finally getting the monkey off his back of never having a number one video. Can he go two in a row?
4. NERD feat Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pusha-T – Everybody Nose (Remix) (Last Week #2)
After coming close to knocking off C.O.L.O.U.R.S. last week, the CRS posse falls two spots out of the Top Three. You know, I have been listening to this song for about three months now so by the time the video came out I was kind of played out of it. But still, kick ass video. We are down to three!
3. John Legend feat Andre 3000 – Green Light (Last Week #5)
Andre 3000 is running 2008! John Legend brings him along as he achieves his SIXTH Top Three video! “Evolver” should be out soon and dammit I am so waiting for that! Can John get his record fourth number one video after failing on his last two attempts? Well, he will have to take down two heavyweights to do so!
2. FLOW – WORLD END (Last Week #3)
FLOW is one step away from their second number one video! It has been over TWO YEARS since “Re:Member” went to number one and over a year since their last video charted but they are making up for all of that right now by moving up one to the runner up spot. With all of that, they fell short to the reigning champ!
1. Fonzworth Bentley feat Andre 3000 & Kanye West – Everybody [Don’t Stop] (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
Don’t stop, baby! Fonzworth and Company hold it down on the chart for the second straight week! Yeah, I am just as shocked as you are but man this song is the mad notes! And nothing beats Andre 3000….nothing. Big ups to COLOURS!
That is all for now! Tune in next week to see if Fonzworth Bentley can make it three straight weeks at the top! Or will FLOW return to the top after two long years? Or will John Legend FINALLY get his record breaking 4th number one video? Tune in seven days from now to find out!
Well, I am out. Sushi tonight and then I will do my rant on the state of dancing on Sunday before I start work in hell on Monday. Yeah, I will be a pissed off panda until November. Until next time, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
JYP: Carrying The Torch For Diddy Since 2004(ish)
What is up, peeps?! Quick note today on a few things. First off, the nominees for the Chachi Music Video Awards are almost complete! I just need to touch up the categories because I have added a few new ones (Due to the breadth of nominees, I have added Best K-Pop Video of the Year and Best J-Rock Video Of The Year. The latter was a blatant attempt to get Abingdon Boys School and Maximum the Hormone more nominations but it is my award show, not yours so DRINK IT DOWN!) and I need to prepare the nominees for the Chachi Music Awards but I am waiting until the end of the month with releases from T.I, John Legend, Wonder Girls and Kumi Koda (MY BABY BOO IS BACK!) coming in October. Speaking of the Wonder Girls….
NEW VIDEO FROM THE WONDER GIRLS!!
Mmmm, Yoo Bin. I how love thee. Also, Lil’ Mama could take a note from her. Seeing as how her existence kind of pisses me the hell off. She has an album and we haven’t heard from YoYo in years. WHAT UP WIT DAT?!
Seriously, that song was the mad notes. Now we are stuck with the “rapping” (?!) of Lil Kim and Foxxy Brown when her ass aint doing something stupid. Which is all the fucking time.
Back on the Wonder Girls. GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER! I aint no R. Kelly. So I noticed that the Korean Fiddy is back in video form and I could really do without having to see JYP. Seriously, he dances like MC Hammer on crack (Big ups to the dude that did the “Humpty Dance” with Zach and I at NDK Karaoke Madness! We wrecked it!) and looks like….well, a treasure troll that mated with Jahn Lee from the DOA series. Think I am wrong, mofo?
Jahn Lee
PLUS
Treasure Troll
EQUALS
Park Jin Young (Yes, I used the proper name order but he calls himself JYP because….well that shit sounds BAD ASS)
Nothing personal against the guy, but I am just not a fan of the new age Diddy. And we all know how much I used to hate Diddy back in the day when he was Diddy Puffenstuff McPhee. Or whatever his name is. That and I am kind of a stan for Rain. Sue me, I STILL listen to “Rain’s World” because it is that fucking ballin. Also, was there a need for the toilet joke? I mean I understand it was the videos’ main plot device but you KNOW how I feel about Koreans and poo humor. Some call it stereotyping, I call it not cool. It’s like the Japanese and bukkake and Black dudes on blond women in porn: everybody got their something. And as long as it is in good fun (Which this video is) it is all good, JYP. So I am sorry I overreacted and I ask you to forgive me. Poo in humor is a lot better than a grown ass man peeing on someone. I am looking at YOU Robert “Pee-Do Bear” Kelly. SWISH! Now THAT is humor for your ass! Man, 2008 may have sucked on the life front but on the humor front I wrecked this year like John Edwards did his own home. OOOOHHHH, SNAP! Man….I am on a roll.
Well, that is all for now. Be back Friday as tomorrow and Thursday I am in D-Town for most of the day. Trying to avoid working somewhere that I will snap and kill all around me but thems the breaks. Just know on Monday if you hear about someone snapping and taking a wooden replica of Sephiroth’s manasume to people’s dome pieces….Tivo that shit because it is gonna be PRICELESS! Peace out, ya’ll!
Chachi Out
NEW VIDEO FROM THE WONDER GIRLS!!
Mmmm, Yoo Bin. I how love thee. Also, Lil’ Mama could take a note from her. Seeing as how her existence kind of pisses me the hell off. She has an album and we haven’t heard from YoYo in years. WHAT UP WIT DAT?!
Seriously, that song was the mad notes. Now we are stuck with the “rapping” (?!) of Lil Kim and Foxxy Brown when her ass aint doing something stupid. Which is all the fucking time.
Back on the Wonder Girls. GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER! I aint no R. Kelly. So I noticed that the Korean Fiddy is back in video form and I could really do without having to see JYP. Seriously, he dances like MC Hammer on crack (Big ups to the dude that did the “Humpty Dance” with Zach and I at NDK Karaoke Madness! We wrecked it!) and looks like….well, a treasure troll that mated with Jahn Lee from the DOA series. Think I am wrong, mofo?
Jahn Lee
PLUS
Treasure Troll
EQUALS
Park Jin Young (Yes, I used the proper name order but he calls himself JYP because….well that shit sounds BAD ASS)
Nothing personal against the guy, but I am just not a fan of the new age Diddy. And we all know how much I used to hate Diddy back in the day when he was Diddy Puffenstuff McPhee. Or whatever his name is. That and I am kind of a stan for Rain. Sue me, I STILL listen to “Rain’s World” because it is that fucking ballin. Also, was there a need for the toilet joke? I mean I understand it was the videos’ main plot device but you KNOW how I feel about Koreans and poo humor. Some call it stereotyping, I call it not cool. It’s like the Japanese and bukkake and Black dudes on blond women in porn: everybody got their something. And as long as it is in good fun (Which this video is) it is all good, JYP. So I am sorry I overreacted and I ask you to forgive me. Poo in humor is a lot better than a grown ass man peeing on someone. I am looking at YOU Robert “Pee-Do Bear” Kelly. SWISH! Now THAT is humor for your ass! Man, 2008 may have sucked on the life front but on the humor front I wrecked this year like John Edwards did his own home. OOOOHHHH, SNAP! Man….I am on a roll.
Well, that is all for now. Be back Friday as tomorrow and Thursday I am in D-Town for most of the day. Trying to avoid working somewhere that I will snap and kill all around me but thems the breaks. Just know on Monday if you hear about someone snapping and taking a wooden replica of Sephiroth’s manasume to people’s dome pieces….Tivo that shit because it is gonna be PRICELESS! Peace out, ya’ll!
Chachi Out
Hippies: Fucking Up My Highway Driving Since 2002
What is up, people?! It has been about a week and a half (Since before NDK, I believe) since I have done a real post but life has taken a crap on me over the last 30 days or so but things are finally up and moving the way I want them. Well, as good as the fucking can be but sometimes you gotta pull a Steve Winwood and roll with it, baby. However, there are some things that have pissed me off since the last time I got pissed off and ranted so it is about that time. There are some things that are really pissing me off as of late and you know what? People need to FUCKING DIE. People in Prius….Priuses….Priusi…whatever the fuck they are called need to do all of these things:
1. Get A Real Fucking Car: I don’t give a flying fuck about the environment you hippie shit. Your battery isn’t biodegradable and the cost of upkeeping your car is more than getting a normal Honda Accord or Nissan Sentra. The fact your shitty ass vehicle can’t go over 55 miles per hour is a sign that you don’t have a fucking car. Congratulations, you have a motherfucking Power Wheel:
At least they had GI Joe jeep Power Wheels. Hell of a lot cooler than your piece of shit Tonka ride.
2. Lay Off The Fucking Bumper Stickers: First off, you are wasting paper and adhesive and destroying the planet. Smooth move, shit face. Secondly, as a sort-of-kind-of-hate-Republicans-and-thair-gun-toting-Black-people-hating-redneck-asses Liberal (Ugh…..I hate being one but man, Conservatives can eat a dick. Most do because they are closet homosexicals but still) I get really tired of your shitty bumper stickers about “Make Love Not War!” and “Give Peace A Chance!” I want you to understand one thing: the 60’s died at Altamont in 1969 and when hippes tried to make a comeback in the 70’s they had to go all Kent State on their asses….at Kent State. Too soon? Naaaaah. In other words, being a hippie sucked then and it sucked now. Being an activist doesn’t mean getting high, not bathing and talking about how material goods are a tool of the patriarchal government while you sit in your STYLISH NEW ECO-CAR. Hypocritical fuckwits.
3. Get Turbo: It’s Eco-Friendly AND keeps me from running you off the fucking road. Seriously, how does YOU stopping ME from getting somewhere at 80mph save the fucking planet? You may save gas on your end but you will have me breaking my foot off in your ASS on this end if you don’t get the fuck out of my way. I have no idea if the car just goes that slow or your pretentious attitude about you saving this hellhole of a planet makes you drive slow to sustain your ego and let everyone see what a attention-whore you are but either way you need to get the fuck out of the road. Get on the sidewalk or put a fan on the back of that bitch.
If you are reading this and you drive a Prius then FUCK YOU. Fuck your car and FUCK YO COUCH!
Love that video. Anyway, I will try to be back up before Friday and stay tuned! This Sunday is the Chachi Music & Video Awards Nominee Special! Well, it SHOULD BE but things on this bad boy that aren’t Douchebrawl are tentative. Until next time, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out.
1. Get A Real Fucking Car: I don’t give a flying fuck about the environment you hippie shit. Your battery isn’t biodegradable and the cost of upkeeping your car is more than getting a normal Honda Accord or Nissan Sentra. The fact your shitty ass vehicle can’t go over 55 miles per hour is a sign that you don’t have a fucking car. Congratulations, you have a motherfucking Power Wheel:
At least they had GI Joe jeep Power Wheels. Hell of a lot cooler than your piece of shit Tonka ride.
2. Lay Off The Fucking Bumper Stickers: First off, you are wasting paper and adhesive and destroying the planet. Smooth move, shit face. Secondly, as a sort-of-kind-of-hate-Republicans-and-thair-gun-toting-Black-people-hating-redneck-asses Liberal (Ugh…..I hate being one but man, Conservatives can eat a dick. Most do because they are closet homosexicals but still) I get really tired of your shitty bumper stickers about “Make Love Not War!” and “Give Peace A Chance!” I want you to understand one thing: the 60’s died at Altamont in 1969 and when hippes tried to make a comeback in the 70’s they had to go all Kent State on their asses….at Kent State. Too soon? Naaaaah. In other words, being a hippie sucked then and it sucked now. Being an activist doesn’t mean getting high, not bathing and talking about how material goods are a tool of the patriarchal government while you sit in your STYLISH NEW ECO-CAR. Hypocritical fuckwits.
3. Get Turbo: It’s Eco-Friendly AND keeps me from running you off the fucking road. Seriously, how does YOU stopping ME from getting somewhere at 80mph save the fucking planet? You may save gas on your end but you will have me breaking my foot off in your ASS on this end if you don’t get the fuck out of my way. I have no idea if the car just goes that slow or your pretentious attitude about you saving this hellhole of a planet makes you drive slow to sustain your ego and let everyone see what a attention-whore you are but either way you need to get the fuck out of the road. Get on the sidewalk or put a fan on the back of that bitch.
If you are reading this and you drive a Prius then FUCK YOU. Fuck your car and FUCK YO COUCH!
Love that video. Anyway, I will try to be back up before Friday and stay tuned! This Sunday is the Chachi Music & Video Awards Nominee Special! Well, it SHOULD BE but things on this bad boy that aren’t Douchebrawl are tentative. Until next time, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Well I'll Be Damned....He Did It.
Well, NDK has passed and my birthday sucked but one thing that doesn’t suck is coming up right now!
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We begin with a video on the downslide!
20. Ikimono-Gakari - Bluebird (Last Week #16)
It looks like the run is over for this group. They got a reprieve due to the awesomeness that was NDK but they still fall a big four spots this week.
19. Yuna Ito – Miss You (New Entry)
My baby boo is back! Yuna Ito makes her return to the Countdown after an over eight month absence. This song is more of a summer song but I don’t care. Yuna Ito is hot and she has my heart. Sue me.
18. Alicia Keys - Superwoman (Last Week #20)
Alicia Keys moves up two spots this week as she looks to make it four Top Three videos in the year of 2008. Yes, “No One” was on the Countdown THAT LONG. Too bad she is a damn homewrecker.
17. Wonder Girls – So Hot (Last Week #14, Two Weeks at #1)
The Wonder Girls have a new video coming soon! Man, these women are going to be the death of me yet. Until then, this video is still hanging on for its jailbait life.
16. T.I. – Whatever You Like (Last Week #18)
The King goes back to back this week. I am looking forward to “Live Your Life” because that song has really grown on me. This video has Lil’ Duvall AND chicken wings. Both are awesome.
15. T.I. – No Matter What (Last Week #11, One Week at #1)
The former number one falls this week as T.I. continues his return to the top after a rather subdued 2007. With Paper Trail coming soon (I guess, I have been kind of out of touch with music for a while) it figures to be a big 2008. Minus the whole JAIL THING. What the fuck, dude?
14. Kelun – CHU-BURA (Last Week #9, One Week at #1) [Plunge of the Week]
After a cup of tea at the Top, Kelun falls out of the Top Ten this week for the first time in two months. Can I just say that NDK was awesome? My foot still hurts (I am hoping it is just ligament damage and will heal itself) but that is just life. Totally worth it.
13. Hyori Lee – Hey Mr. Big! (Last Week #15)
Hyori moves up two more spots this week as it looks like K-pop has finally hit its stride on the Countdown. With some new Bi (SUPPOSEDLY) coming to me in October all I can say is BRING IT ON!
12. Hearts Grow – Sora (Last Week #17, Biggest Mover)
Hearts Grow is officially back! They move up five big spots this week as they inch toward another Top Ten video. With the Chachi’s coming up, can they make some noise and pick up a nod or two? We will have to see!
11. Maroon 5 – Goodnight, Goodnight (Last Week #14)
We inch closer to the upper half and we have a former chart topper in Maroon 5. It has been a while and a few videos I didn’t like but they have finally returned and it is about damn time. Needed some American pop music on here.
10. Yui – Summer Song (Last Week #6)
We begin the Top Ten with Yui who once again could not take over the number one spot. You know, she needs another “Rolling Star” because her last three songs have all sounded the same. The sound is great but still. Give me some RAWK!
9. UVERworld – Koishikute (Last Week #12)
UVERworld is officially back in Top 10! It has been a few months (“Roots” made it to number nine a few months back) but we now have some ballad action from The World and if anyone knows how to do it, it is Takuya and the boys.
8. Bennie K feat SOFFet – Music Traveler (Last Week #8)
Bennie K stalls at number eight this week after a pretty swift move into the Top Ten last week. It has been a HUGE year for Yuki and Cico but once again, they had one big video. Unlike some other artists in 2008.
7. Game feat. Lil Wayne – My Life (Last Week #7)
Game also stands pat this week as he and Lil Wayne hold down the lucky number seven spot. So Lil’ Wayne is back to being everywhere. I just saw him in a AIG commercial and all I can say is that it was bangin. Get money!
6. Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl (Last Week #3)
Miss Hyori fails to take the top spot! As a matter of fact, she falls three big spaces and out of the Top Five! Been a great comeback for her, better than Britney’s anyway. She can just…go the hell away.
5. John Legend feat Andre 3000 – Green Light (Last Week #10, Biggest Mover)
John Legend is once again back near the top! He ties with Hearts Grow as the biggest mover as he rockets up five spots this week. Can he break the streak and take over the top spot? By the way, Andre 3000 is my idol. That is all.
4. Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On (Last Week #1, Three Weeks at #1)
After three weeks at number one, Young Jeexy and Kanye are knocked off the throne! Just short of a month, this song has been arguably the biggest rap song of 2008….not by Lil Wayne anyway. We are down to three!
3. FLOW – WORLD END (Last Week #5)
FLOW pulls into the Top Three for the first time in over TWO YEARS! It has been a while but this video is well worth the wait. I am not a fan of the anime but I am all about this song and you can tell by how often I listen to it.
2. NERD feat Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pusha-T – Everybody Nose (Remix) (Last Week #4)
Well, CRS is looking to take over the top spot for the second time of 2008 as this remix moves up to the runner up spot! This gives Lupe and Pharrell their second Top Three video and gives Kanye his FOURTH of 2008. Can they take over? Well we have a new number one and with this video at number two, you know who is on the top!
1. Fonzworth Bentley feat Andre 3000 & Kanye West – Everybody [Don’t Stop] (Last Week #2, One Week at #1)
Everybody, pay attention! Fonzworth Bentley has his first number one video with his first ever single! He brings along Kanye (Who knew?) and Andre 3000 (Again, who knew?) to the top with him with arguably my favorite video of 2008 not including Bennie K or The Wonder Girls. We can officially say that hip hop is back. Wait, Nelly has an album this week. FUCK! Anyway, congrats Fonzie!
That is all for this week! Tune in next Friday to see if Fonzworth and Company can make it two weeks on top? Or will everybody get in line after NERD? Or can FLOW take the top spot back for J-Rock? See you in seven to find out!
Well, I have to be in Denver today so I will not be back on with a post until odds are Sunday night. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We begin with a video on the downslide!
20. Ikimono-Gakari - Bluebird (Last Week #16)
It looks like the run is over for this group. They got a reprieve due to the awesomeness that was NDK but they still fall a big four spots this week.
19. Yuna Ito – Miss You (New Entry)
My baby boo is back! Yuna Ito makes her return to the Countdown after an over eight month absence. This song is more of a summer song but I don’t care. Yuna Ito is hot and she has my heart. Sue me.
18. Alicia Keys - Superwoman (Last Week #20)
Alicia Keys moves up two spots this week as she looks to make it four Top Three videos in the year of 2008. Yes, “No One” was on the Countdown THAT LONG. Too bad she is a damn homewrecker.
17. Wonder Girls – So Hot (Last Week #14, Two Weeks at #1)
The Wonder Girls have a new video coming soon! Man, these women are going to be the death of me yet. Until then, this video is still hanging on for its jailbait life.
16. T.I. – Whatever You Like (Last Week #18)
The King goes back to back this week. I am looking forward to “Live Your Life” because that song has really grown on me. This video has Lil’ Duvall AND chicken wings. Both are awesome.
15. T.I. – No Matter What (Last Week #11, One Week at #1)
The former number one falls this week as T.I. continues his return to the top after a rather subdued 2007. With Paper Trail coming soon (I guess, I have been kind of out of touch with music for a while) it figures to be a big 2008. Minus the whole JAIL THING. What the fuck, dude?
14. Kelun – CHU-BURA (Last Week #9, One Week at #1) [Plunge of the Week]
After a cup of tea at the Top, Kelun falls out of the Top Ten this week for the first time in two months. Can I just say that NDK was awesome? My foot still hurts (I am hoping it is just ligament damage and will heal itself) but that is just life. Totally worth it.
13. Hyori Lee – Hey Mr. Big! (Last Week #15)
Hyori moves up two more spots this week as it looks like K-pop has finally hit its stride on the Countdown. With some new Bi (SUPPOSEDLY) coming to me in October all I can say is BRING IT ON!
12. Hearts Grow – Sora (Last Week #17, Biggest Mover)
Hearts Grow is officially back! They move up five big spots this week as they inch toward another Top Ten video. With the Chachi’s coming up, can they make some noise and pick up a nod or two? We will have to see!
11. Maroon 5 – Goodnight, Goodnight (Last Week #14)
We inch closer to the upper half and we have a former chart topper in Maroon 5. It has been a while and a few videos I didn’t like but they have finally returned and it is about damn time. Needed some American pop music on here.
10. Yui – Summer Song (Last Week #6)
We begin the Top Ten with Yui who once again could not take over the number one spot. You know, she needs another “Rolling Star” because her last three songs have all sounded the same. The sound is great but still. Give me some RAWK!
9. UVERworld – Koishikute (Last Week #12)
UVERworld is officially back in Top 10! It has been a few months (“Roots” made it to number nine a few months back) but we now have some ballad action from The World and if anyone knows how to do it, it is Takuya and the boys.
8. Bennie K feat SOFFet – Music Traveler (Last Week #8)
Bennie K stalls at number eight this week after a pretty swift move into the Top Ten last week. It has been a HUGE year for Yuki and Cico but once again, they had one big video. Unlike some other artists in 2008.
7. Game feat. Lil Wayne – My Life (Last Week #7)
Game also stands pat this week as he and Lil Wayne hold down the lucky number seven spot. So Lil’ Wayne is back to being everywhere. I just saw him in a AIG commercial and all I can say is that it was bangin. Get money!
6. Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl (Last Week #3)
Miss Hyori fails to take the top spot! As a matter of fact, she falls three big spaces and out of the Top Five! Been a great comeback for her, better than Britney’s anyway. She can just…go the hell away.
5. John Legend feat Andre 3000 – Green Light (Last Week #10, Biggest Mover)
John Legend is once again back near the top! He ties with Hearts Grow as the biggest mover as he rockets up five spots this week. Can he break the streak and take over the top spot? By the way, Andre 3000 is my idol. That is all.
4. Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On (Last Week #1, Three Weeks at #1)
After three weeks at number one, Young Jeexy and Kanye are knocked off the throne! Just short of a month, this song has been arguably the biggest rap song of 2008….not by Lil Wayne anyway. We are down to three!
3. FLOW – WORLD END (Last Week #5)
FLOW pulls into the Top Three for the first time in over TWO YEARS! It has been a while but this video is well worth the wait. I am not a fan of the anime but I am all about this song and you can tell by how often I listen to it.
2. NERD feat Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pusha-T – Everybody Nose (Remix) (Last Week #4)
Well, CRS is looking to take over the top spot for the second time of 2008 as this remix moves up to the runner up spot! This gives Lupe and Pharrell their second Top Three video and gives Kanye his FOURTH of 2008. Can they take over? Well we have a new number one and with this video at number two, you know who is on the top!
1. Fonzworth Bentley feat Andre 3000 & Kanye West – Everybody [Don’t Stop] (Last Week #2, One Week at #1)
Everybody, pay attention! Fonzworth Bentley has his first number one video with his first ever single! He brings along Kanye (Who knew?) and Andre 3000 (Again, who knew?) to the top with him with arguably my favorite video of 2008 not including Bennie K or The Wonder Girls. We can officially say that hip hop is back. Wait, Nelly has an album this week. FUCK! Anyway, congrats Fonzie!
That is all for this week! Tune in next Friday to see if Fonzworth and Company can make it two weeks on top? Or will everybody get in line after NERD? Or can FLOW take the top spot back for J-Rock? See you in seven to find out!
Well, I have to be in Denver today so I will not be back on with a post until odds are Sunday night. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Happy Birthday To Me (Since Nobody Cares)....
What is up, peeps! It has been a few days (Shorter with Blogger peeps) but I am back and I have a short recap of the weekend of the best anime con…in the state….in the fall. NDK has come and gone and to give a quick wrap up here is….
The Chronicles of Nan Desu Kan 2008!
1. The Straw Hat Pirates TAKE OVER: After being recruited into the Straw Hat Pirates….wait, before I begin, here are the Straw Hat Pirates:
2. ONE PIECE MOTHER FUCKERS!: So, back to the awesomeness. After being recruited as the Commander in Chef (Unofficial title) of the Straw Hat Pirates, we went on a mission to recruit new members to our merry band of rag-tag swashbucklers. After recruiting an Englishman, a dude dressed as a chick (Which ruined Zach’s night for about 10 minutes), a sword wielding rabbit (USAGI YOJIMBO, BITCHES! WHAT!) and a dancing banana (Yes, THAT banana) we stormed the halls of NDK with the grandest song a pirate ever sang: “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley. We also brought along a videographer and if you are reading this PLEASE post our merry adventure on YouTube. All thirty plus members stormed the rave to find out….that room was fricking hot as hell. Pirates specialize on water. WATER! So we decided to go our own ways. But let us not forget the thirty five or so minutes when the Straw Hats ruled the world. About as long as William Henry Harrison was president. Good times.
3. Caramelldansen Line!!!:
4. Hitting Up The Ramen Joint: That was some good ass eating right there at Urishima (I believe). I am totally going to head back now that I know where it is.
5. NDK Got Rickroll’d!: Yeah Zach, a Cloud (I’m sorry if I forgot your name. There were like four Cloud’s MINIMUM) and I totally Rickroll’d the hotel. Then it got broken up because we were blocking something or other but hey, it’s about the love of the music.
6. Suffering Bastards: Getting me FUCKED UP since 2007. I swear man; Von could end all wars with those things. They would be too tore up to fight! Also I still have some soju and plum wine left over that I didn’t drink. May have to take that stuff to Copper’s for movie night.
7. The Chef Returns, Children!: Yeah, I actually thought about who to be for NDK long and hard and since I was NOT going to be Mr. Popo and being Barrett while running around with Tuxedo Mask would have looked a tad bit weird I decided to be Chef from South Park. Kind of a stretch for anime but at the same time….I WAS NOT GOING TO BE MISTER FUCKING POPO!
Fuck no. Being Chef was fun as it let me break out into song at random which quite simply is fucking awesome. Name one bad thing that ever came from breaking out in song at random intervals? NOTHING. Good times had by me.
8. I Am SO Not Gel’n: My feet hurt like a mother fucker. Well, just one foot. Walking around the hotel in those fucking chef shoes for 10+ hours a day for two days did WONDERS on the balls of my feet. Just fucking awesome. Like being raped in the foot. Is that even possible?
9. A Stranger Is Just A Friend That Hasn’t Raped You: Meeting new people is priceless. Especially when you are either too drunk or too vacant to remember who they are the next day. So to Mike and Darren (I THINK those were their names) I saw WASSUP, FOOLS! NDK 4 LIFE and the whatnot.
Well, a lot of stuff happened from the karaoke (Humpty Dance…you know it) to the F2T (Whom I avoided at all cost lest I get “V&”) all I can say is that I had a total blast. Can’t wait until next year when I knuckle up and be Barrett. *Sigh* we will have a Black president before we have a cool Black anime character. AND FUCK MR. POPO! It is good to be back, peeps. More up soon, but until then stay up. And happy birthday to me:
Chachi Out.
The Chronicles of Nan Desu Kan 2008!
1. The Straw Hat Pirates TAKE OVER: After being recruited into the Straw Hat Pirates….wait, before I begin, here are the Straw Hat Pirates:
2. ONE PIECE MOTHER FUCKERS!: So, back to the awesomeness. After being recruited as the Commander in Chef (Unofficial title) of the Straw Hat Pirates, we went on a mission to recruit new members to our merry band of rag-tag swashbucklers. After recruiting an Englishman, a dude dressed as a chick (Which ruined Zach’s night for about 10 minutes), a sword wielding rabbit (USAGI YOJIMBO, BITCHES! WHAT!) and a dancing banana (Yes, THAT banana) we stormed the halls of NDK with the grandest song a pirate ever sang: “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley. We also brought along a videographer and if you are reading this PLEASE post our merry adventure on YouTube. All thirty plus members stormed the rave to find out….that room was fricking hot as hell. Pirates specialize on water. WATER! So we decided to go our own ways. But let us not forget the thirty five or so minutes when the Straw Hats ruled the world. About as long as William Henry Harrison was president. Good times.
3. Caramelldansen Line!!!:
4. Hitting Up The Ramen Joint: That was some good ass eating right there at Urishima (I believe). I am totally going to head back now that I know where it is.
5. NDK Got Rickroll’d!: Yeah Zach, a Cloud (I’m sorry if I forgot your name. There were like four Cloud’s MINIMUM) and I totally Rickroll’d the hotel. Then it got broken up because we were blocking something or other but hey, it’s about the love of the music.
6. Suffering Bastards: Getting me FUCKED UP since 2007. I swear man; Von could end all wars with those things. They would be too tore up to fight! Also I still have some soju and plum wine left over that I didn’t drink. May have to take that stuff to Copper’s for movie night.
7. The Chef Returns, Children!: Yeah, I actually thought about who to be for NDK long and hard and since I was NOT going to be Mr. Popo and being Barrett while running around with Tuxedo Mask would have looked a tad bit weird I decided to be Chef from South Park. Kind of a stretch for anime but at the same time….I WAS NOT GOING TO BE MISTER FUCKING POPO!
Fuck no. Being Chef was fun as it let me break out into song at random which quite simply is fucking awesome. Name one bad thing that ever came from breaking out in song at random intervals? NOTHING. Good times had by me.
8. I Am SO Not Gel’n: My feet hurt like a mother fucker. Well, just one foot. Walking around the hotel in those fucking chef shoes for 10+ hours a day for two days did WONDERS on the balls of my feet. Just fucking awesome. Like being raped in the foot. Is that even possible?
9. A Stranger Is Just A Friend That Hasn’t Raped You: Meeting new people is priceless. Especially when you are either too drunk or too vacant to remember who they are the next day. So to Mike and Darren (I THINK those were their names) I saw WASSUP, FOOLS! NDK 4 LIFE and the whatnot.
Well, a lot of stuff happened from the karaoke (Humpty Dance…you know it) to the F2T (Whom I avoided at all cost lest I get “V&”) all I can say is that I had a total blast. Can’t wait until next year when I knuckle up and be Barrett. *Sigh* we will have a Black president before we have a cool Black anime character. AND FUCK MR. POPO! It is good to be back, peeps. More up soon, but until then stay up. And happy birthday to me:
Chachi Out.
Monday, September 15, 2008
IT'S ME, BITCHES!
Last time I quote Swizz Beats, I tell you what. Anyway, what is up bitches?! I am back (Actually I got back yesterday but my feet hurt like fucking hell and I was busy today) and I will have the wrap-up of Nan Desu Kan up on Wednesday. Until then, some Tracey Morgan for your bitch asses:
Underrated cat right there. Stay up, people!
Chachi Out!
Underrated cat right there. Stay up, people!
Chachi Out!
Friday, September 12, 2008
NDK: Making It Okay For Me To Sing "Afro Gunso" Since 2005
Well, since NDK is today, the Countdown will be quite abriviated. However, I gotta give the peeps what they come here for every Friday!
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We begin with a debut from The Queen of the Countdown!
20. Alicia Keys - Superwoman (New Entry)
Alicia Keys is officially back! It has been a minute since “Teenage Love Affair” but she is back in the Top 20! Can she solidify her bid for Artist of the Year?
19. RBD - Empezar Desde Cero (Last Week #15, Plunge of the Week)
FUCK! RBD BROKE UP! WHAT THE FUCK?! Sorry, still pissed.
18. T.I. – Whatever You Like (New Entry)
The King is back! Supposedly “Live Your Life” with Rihanna will be out soon and oddly enough, I am looking forward to it. Until then, the king is back!
17. Hearts Grow – Sora (Last Week #20)
Hearts Grow continues to move up this week as they return to the Countdown. I don’t like Decode, though.
16. Ikimono-Gakari - Bluebird (Last Week #13)
The Naruto bump didn’t seem to help out this video as it falls three places this week.
15. Hyori Lee – Hey Mr. Big! (Last Week #18)
Miss Hyori moves up this week as she continues the big year!
14. Maroon 5 – Goodnight, Goodnight (Last Week #16)
Maroon 5 is slowly and surely moving up this week as they look for their second number one video.
13. Wonder Girls – So Hot (Last Week #11, Two Weeks at #1)
The Wonder Girls are still hanging around, but for how long?
12. UVERworld – Koishikute (Last Week #14)
The World moves up this week as they attempt to recapture the glory of 2006 when they had three number one videos. Love this song!
11. T.I. – No Matter What (Last Week #8, One Week at #1)
T.I’s second video falls from the Top 10 this week. It looks to be a big fall for him….before he goes to jail, I mean.
10. John Legend feat Andre 3000 – Green Light (Last Week #12)
John and Andre Three Stacks crack the Top 10! Arguably the most dominant artist ever teams up with the hottest rapper in the game right now? Guaranteed hit!
9. Kelun – CHU-BURA (Last Week #6, One Week at #1)
BLEACH MOVIE! BLEACH MOVIE! BLEACH MOVIE! Why do Ragiku’s breasts bounce so much in the movies? Not complaining….just saying.
8. Bennie K feat SOFFet – Music Traveler (Last Week #9)
Bennie K moves up a spot this week as they try to follow up the dominance that was “Monochrome.” Riiiiiight. That video was fucking awesome. It’s like following up Labyrinth.
7. Game feat. Lil Wayne – My Life (Last Week #10)
Game and Lil’ Wayne move up this week. You know, I am actually liking that “Official Girl” song from Cassie. I know, I’m shocked too!
6. Yui – Summer Song (Last Week #4)
Yui fails to take the top spot once again! I tell you, 2008 has been kind of a dick to her.
5. FLOW – WORLD END (Last Week #7)
FLOW is back in the Top Five! It has been a HELLA LONG TIME since they have been this high but I tell you it is good to see them back.
4. NERD feat Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pusha-T – Everybody Nose (Remix) (Last Week #5)
*Sigh* seems that Kanye follows up the awesomeness that is “Love Lockdown” with some dipshittery at LAX. You know, you are REALLY trying to make me not like you. Even still, love this video.
3. Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl (Last Week #2)
We are now in the Top Three and Miss Hyori falls a spot this week! Is her reign over with a new video moving up? We will have to see. Damn, she is hot.
2. Fonzworth Bentley feat Andre 3000 & Kanye West – Everybody [Don’t Stop] (Last Week #3)
Well, hell hath frozen over. Fonzworth Bentley is a step away from the number one spot. Yes, I know he has Kanye and Andre 300 but damn! Wasn’t he Diddy’s manservant on Monday?
1. Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On (Last Week #1, Three Weeks at #1)
For the third week in a row, Young Jeezy is holding it down! He and Kanye are making their presence known as they have really dominated this year! Big year for Jeezy, bigger year for Kanye. Congrats!
That is all for this week! Tune in next week for the excitement to see of Young Jeezy can keep his reign going! Or will COLOURS take the top spot? Or can Hyori Lee rebound? See you in seven!
Well, it is NDK TIME BITCHES! I will try to put up a post on Saturday to recap the awesomeness of Friday if I am coherent anyway. Until next time, stay up. And NERDS UNITE ON FRIDAY!
Chachi Out.
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We begin with a debut from The Queen of the Countdown!
20. Alicia Keys - Superwoman (New Entry)
Alicia Keys is officially back! It has been a minute since “Teenage Love Affair” but she is back in the Top 20! Can she solidify her bid for Artist of the Year?
19. RBD - Empezar Desde Cero (Last Week #15, Plunge of the Week)
FUCK! RBD BROKE UP! WHAT THE FUCK?! Sorry, still pissed.
18. T.I. – Whatever You Like (New Entry)
The King is back! Supposedly “Live Your Life” with Rihanna will be out soon and oddly enough, I am looking forward to it. Until then, the king is back!
17. Hearts Grow – Sora (Last Week #20)
Hearts Grow continues to move up this week as they return to the Countdown. I don’t like Decode, though.
16. Ikimono-Gakari - Bluebird (Last Week #13)
The Naruto bump didn’t seem to help out this video as it falls three places this week.
15. Hyori Lee – Hey Mr. Big! (Last Week #18)
Miss Hyori moves up this week as she continues the big year!
14. Maroon 5 – Goodnight, Goodnight (Last Week #16)
Maroon 5 is slowly and surely moving up this week as they look for their second number one video.
13. Wonder Girls – So Hot (Last Week #11, Two Weeks at #1)
The Wonder Girls are still hanging around, but for how long?
12. UVERworld – Koishikute (Last Week #14)
The World moves up this week as they attempt to recapture the glory of 2006 when they had three number one videos. Love this song!
11. T.I. – No Matter What (Last Week #8, One Week at #1)
T.I’s second video falls from the Top 10 this week. It looks to be a big fall for him….before he goes to jail, I mean.
10. John Legend feat Andre 3000 – Green Light (Last Week #12)
John and Andre Three Stacks crack the Top 10! Arguably the most dominant artist ever teams up with the hottest rapper in the game right now? Guaranteed hit!
9. Kelun – CHU-BURA (Last Week #6, One Week at #1)
BLEACH MOVIE! BLEACH MOVIE! BLEACH MOVIE! Why do Ragiku’s breasts bounce so much in the movies? Not complaining….just saying.
8. Bennie K feat SOFFet – Music Traveler (Last Week #9)
Bennie K moves up a spot this week as they try to follow up the dominance that was “Monochrome.” Riiiiiight. That video was fucking awesome. It’s like following up Labyrinth.
7. Game feat. Lil Wayne – My Life (Last Week #10)
Game and Lil’ Wayne move up this week. You know, I am actually liking that “Official Girl” song from Cassie. I know, I’m shocked too!
6. Yui – Summer Song (Last Week #4)
Yui fails to take the top spot once again! I tell you, 2008 has been kind of a dick to her.
5. FLOW – WORLD END (Last Week #7)
FLOW is back in the Top Five! It has been a HELLA LONG TIME since they have been this high but I tell you it is good to see them back.
4. NERD feat Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pusha-T – Everybody Nose (Remix) (Last Week #5)
*Sigh* seems that Kanye follows up the awesomeness that is “Love Lockdown” with some dipshittery at LAX. You know, you are REALLY trying to make me not like you. Even still, love this video.
3. Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl (Last Week #2)
We are now in the Top Three and Miss Hyori falls a spot this week! Is her reign over with a new video moving up? We will have to see. Damn, she is hot.
2. Fonzworth Bentley feat Andre 3000 & Kanye West – Everybody [Don’t Stop] (Last Week #3)
Well, hell hath frozen over. Fonzworth Bentley is a step away from the number one spot. Yes, I know he has Kanye and Andre 300 but damn! Wasn’t he Diddy’s manservant on Monday?
1. Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On (Last Week #1, Three Weeks at #1)
For the third week in a row, Young Jeezy is holding it down! He and Kanye are making their presence known as they have really dominated this year! Big year for Jeezy, bigger year for Kanye. Congrats!
That is all for this week! Tune in next week for the excitement to see of Young Jeezy can keep his reign going! Or will COLOURS take the top spot? Or can Hyori Lee rebound? See you in seven!
Well, it is NDK TIME BITCHES! I will try to put up a post on Saturday to recap the awesomeness of Friday if I am coherent anyway. Until next time, stay up. And NERDS UNITE ON FRIDAY!
Chachi Out.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
I Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You....But You Can't See Me, Woman!
What is up, peeps?! I am back with a new post because for one I am bored and for two I am still rather pissed off at life. Eh, things should look up soon. At least they better for the sake of the lives of puppies everywhere. Anyway, I was browsing the internet and found MORE bad relationship advice! Wheee! Or it could be good, because all of mine have ended in tears, stalking and a tossed kitten. But still, I felt that these ideas wouldn’t have helped her, let alone any woman. But what do I know, read for yourselves.
Give him a job: Ask him to fix or build you something. Performing concrete tasks is a way of bonding that enhances his sense of success.
Um…..what? Okay, let me get this straight: a way to get a man to fall in love with you….is to make him do things for you? Understand this, bitch. The emancipation proclamation was signed over 200 years ago and I assure you that about 95% of slaves hated good ol’ massa. The last 5%, well they were in need of Catcher Freeman:
See, that last 5% is who that bullshit is for. Now it SHOULD say doing a task together but as we all know, men and women can never be a team, that’s why marriages fail at a 50% clip and there are so many babydaddys out there. This is fucking dumb. Then again, I date like once a fiscal quarter so what do I know?
Ask his opinion. Whether it's about your 401(k) options or the best travel sites, it telegraphs that you value his brain as much as you do his brawn.
I already know I am well beyond your realm of comprehension! On the moon, we are great spellers! There is seriously no need to ask me about shit that is irrelevant. Case in point, while in college a female friend of mine and I were having a discussion on chauvinism and my girlfriend at the time showed up after class and kind of looked…well, lost. So the next day, she wanted to talk politics in a non-election year. Which I was cool with but after about ten minutes I knew she had no idea what she was talking about and really didn’t care about the subject. Now I was supposed to look at that as her wanting to interact and be around me but in the back of my head I thought “Why is she humoring me like this? Does she not think I could just be with her and be happy instead of having her fake like she wants to talk to me?” I kind of let that go and at the end of the day I turned out to be right (She called me a “fucking know-it-all” and said I talked down to her like she was stupid in one of our last arguments) but my thing is this. Ladies, you don’t need to FAKE interest in anything but sex because it is just as awkward for YOU as it is for me. Aside from that, just be you and to pander. Being you is (Hopefully) why we got together in the first place.
Blow him off. Single men hate the idea of being tied down socially, so turn down occasional plans. He'll not only feel easier -- and open up more -- around you, but he'll also start to wonder what you're doing and pursue you more.
Um….okay this is just fucking stupid. To ME anyway. Now I understand that even in a relationship people need space. Hell, when I wanted to do nerd things I didn’t want a female around and I know for A FACT she hated what I liked so I didn’t want her to be McCain’d (It’s funny to me!) just to be in my company. However, look at this LOGICALLY. Ladies, how did you feel when he didn’t call you when he said he would or when you THOUGHT he would (The end all be all of idiocy but some women are just nuts that way. And I LOVE THEM) or better yet when he forgets something that you felt was important but didn’t SAY was important so he spaced on it? Now add up all that rage, all that hurt, all those feelings of being ignored and unappreciated and questioning whether he loves you or not….
AND MULTIPLY THAT BY FIVE.
Feels like shit, doesn’t it? You now know what it feels like when a man makes plans to be with you and you blow him off for the sake of “him being free” or “making him chase you” which at its core is the stupidest thing you can do. It feels like a Falcon PAWNCH:
To the fucking balls. Or in your case, the Cunt Punch. Understand this: everyone wants to be pursued and I completely understand that. It is natural human emotion to want someone to want you. To need someone to need them. Hell, even I want to be wanted. Do you know how many times I wanted someone to do this?:
Well, replace Heath Ledger with Zac Efron or Mandy Moore. I’m not into necrophilia. Oh, come on that shit is funny! Anyway, the idea that single men hate to be tied down socially makes little sense because…if you are dating someone…you want to be around them socially. If I wanted to not be tied down socially I WOULDN’T BE DATING YOU! Therefore, this logic is quite simply an enabler for men to cheat. There, I said it. If you are dumb enough to blow a man off because you want to be pursued, odds are he will just find easier prey to catch. Think about THAT ONE. I am here to help.
Be a social butterfly. Guys are good at left-brain stuff, like sales and sports, but can get awkward when it comes to social graces. Take the lead and charm the people you meet and he'll be extra grateful to have you. But he may take credit for making those new friends... whatever.
WHAT?! Are you fucking serious?! Okay, understand this as well. The myth that women are better in social situations is a fucking MYTH. Has anyone noticed that all this advice is pretty much telling you to not be yourself? So that means that no man will ever love you unless you change. Now I have been from the school of thought that it was MEN that had to change but in both cases, the thought process is wrong. Don’t think about the lack of social graces, think of the social situation you have him in. Whenever I have gone to many a function, whether business or casual, it is the women that are the wallflowers and really have nothing to really say of any consequence. It is the women who are upset to be there because they know no one there and they sit on a couch or by the wall sulking until their boyfriend/husband decides that her attitude is going to get worse the longer he stays so they leave. Social blossoming is determined by the situation and the person. There were times when I was uncomfortable (Like when I went to a certain quasi-girlfriends Mormon get together in Castle Rock….not fun) but at the same time, usually I am the life of the party and down to talk or hang with anyone. Now from a relationship dynamic….my ex HATED all of her friends. Which I never got because they were all cool to me and in some cases were more fun to hang out with (Ended up causing a huge problem, actually. DRAMA!) and even in social settings she hate to be anywhere unless it was someplace she wanted to be. She also hated how I would make the most out of being someplace I didn’t want to be….like bro parties. Aside from dodging the rapes and…well, dodging the rapes the fact she didn’t have to introduce me to people because I already had interacted with them used to piss her off. Wow….cosmic. Anyway, this is bullshit.
Respect his privacy. A physical space that's totally his is a huge symbol of independence to a man. Signal that you respect that by, say, staying out of desk drawers and not peeking at his caller ID when his phone rings.
Is this something that has to be told to people? You know why James Bond, Secret Squirrel and Danger Mouse (Wait, was Danger Mouse a spy?) were so awesome? They were doing something that was FUCKING ILLEGAL! Watergate, ladies?! Read up and then come back. Okay, let’s continue. As one that has had to explain phone bills to an ex that DIDN’T LIVE WITH ME and why I had so many calls to California and Las Vegas (My parents and my best friend) I am a big proponent of LEAVING MY SHIT ALONE. I have never been through a woman’s things, although in retrospect I should have but that is life. Quite simply, what goes on with you is your business and I trust that you aren’t performing acts of vigilante justice under the guise of the night with kick ass weapons and vehicles. If you are….I SO WANT IN. Maybe I am looking at this the wrong way (Which I always am, according to the opposite sex but thems the breaks) but privacy isn’t a PRIVILEDGE in a relationship, the ability to be open should be paramount to whether it works or one of you is going through the other’s messages asking “BITCH, WHO THE FUCK IS JAMAL?!” It isn’t about independence, it is about not being an untrusting snoop. You aren’t Danger Mouse, so quit acting like you are!
Well, that is all for now. I am hella tired so I am about to head to the bed. I will be back Thursday night for the Countdown and some pre-NDK musings. Until then….TWO DAYS UNTIL ANIME NERDS UNITE! You nasty motherfuckers better bathe….
Chachi Out
Give him a job: Ask him to fix or build you something. Performing concrete tasks is a way of bonding that enhances his sense of success.
Um…..what? Okay, let me get this straight: a way to get a man to fall in love with you….is to make him do things for you? Understand this, bitch. The emancipation proclamation was signed over 200 years ago and I assure you that about 95% of slaves hated good ol’ massa. The last 5%, well they were in need of Catcher Freeman:
See, that last 5% is who that bullshit is for. Now it SHOULD say doing a task together but as we all know, men and women can never be a team, that’s why marriages fail at a 50% clip and there are so many babydaddys out there. This is fucking dumb. Then again, I date like once a fiscal quarter so what do I know?
Ask his opinion. Whether it's about your 401(k) options or the best travel sites, it telegraphs that you value his brain as much as you do his brawn.
I already know I am well beyond your realm of comprehension! On the moon, we are great spellers! There is seriously no need to ask me about shit that is irrelevant. Case in point, while in college a female friend of mine and I were having a discussion on chauvinism and my girlfriend at the time showed up after class and kind of looked…well, lost. So the next day, she wanted to talk politics in a non-election year. Which I was cool with but after about ten minutes I knew she had no idea what she was talking about and really didn’t care about the subject. Now I was supposed to look at that as her wanting to interact and be around me but in the back of my head I thought “Why is she humoring me like this? Does she not think I could just be with her and be happy instead of having her fake like she wants to talk to me?” I kind of let that go and at the end of the day I turned out to be right (She called me a “fucking know-it-all” and said I talked down to her like she was stupid in one of our last arguments) but my thing is this. Ladies, you don’t need to FAKE interest in anything but sex because it is just as awkward for YOU as it is for me. Aside from that, just be you and to pander. Being you is (Hopefully) why we got together in the first place.
Blow him off. Single men hate the idea of being tied down socially, so turn down occasional plans. He'll not only feel easier -- and open up more -- around you, but he'll also start to wonder what you're doing and pursue you more.
Um….okay this is just fucking stupid. To ME anyway. Now I understand that even in a relationship people need space. Hell, when I wanted to do nerd things I didn’t want a female around and I know for A FACT she hated what I liked so I didn’t want her to be McCain’d (It’s funny to me!) just to be in my company. However, look at this LOGICALLY. Ladies, how did you feel when he didn’t call you when he said he would or when you THOUGHT he would (The end all be all of idiocy but some women are just nuts that way. And I LOVE THEM) or better yet when he forgets something that you felt was important but didn’t SAY was important so he spaced on it? Now add up all that rage, all that hurt, all those feelings of being ignored and unappreciated and questioning whether he loves you or not….
AND MULTIPLY THAT BY FIVE.
Feels like shit, doesn’t it? You now know what it feels like when a man makes plans to be with you and you blow him off for the sake of “him being free” or “making him chase you” which at its core is the stupidest thing you can do. It feels like a Falcon PAWNCH:
To the fucking balls. Or in your case, the Cunt Punch. Understand this: everyone wants to be pursued and I completely understand that. It is natural human emotion to want someone to want you. To need someone to need them. Hell, even I want to be wanted. Do you know how many times I wanted someone to do this?:
Well, replace Heath Ledger with Zac Efron or Mandy Moore. I’m not into necrophilia. Oh, come on that shit is funny! Anyway, the idea that single men hate to be tied down socially makes little sense because…if you are dating someone…you want to be around them socially. If I wanted to not be tied down socially I WOULDN’T BE DATING YOU! Therefore, this logic is quite simply an enabler for men to cheat. There, I said it. If you are dumb enough to blow a man off because you want to be pursued, odds are he will just find easier prey to catch. Think about THAT ONE. I am here to help.
Be a social butterfly. Guys are good at left-brain stuff, like sales and sports, but can get awkward when it comes to social graces. Take the lead and charm the people you meet and he'll be extra grateful to have you. But he may take credit for making those new friends... whatever.
WHAT?! Are you fucking serious?! Okay, understand this as well. The myth that women are better in social situations is a fucking MYTH. Has anyone noticed that all this advice is pretty much telling you to not be yourself? So that means that no man will ever love you unless you change. Now I have been from the school of thought that it was MEN that had to change but in both cases, the thought process is wrong. Don’t think about the lack of social graces, think of the social situation you have him in. Whenever I have gone to many a function, whether business or casual, it is the women that are the wallflowers and really have nothing to really say of any consequence. It is the women who are upset to be there because they know no one there and they sit on a couch or by the wall sulking until their boyfriend/husband decides that her attitude is going to get worse the longer he stays so they leave. Social blossoming is determined by the situation and the person. There were times when I was uncomfortable (Like when I went to a certain quasi-girlfriends Mormon get together in Castle Rock….not fun) but at the same time, usually I am the life of the party and down to talk or hang with anyone. Now from a relationship dynamic….my ex HATED all of her friends. Which I never got because they were all cool to me and in some cases were more fun to hang out with (Ended up causing a huge problem, actually. DRAMA!) and even in social settings she hate to be anywhere unless it was someplace she wanted to be. She also hated how I would make the most out of being someplace I didn’t want to be….like bro parties. Aside from dodging the rapes and…well, dodging the rapes the fact she didn’t have to introduce me to people because I already had interacted with them used to piss her off. Wow….cosmic. Anyway, this is bullshit.
Respect his privacy. A physical space that's totally his is a huge symbol of independence to a man. Signal that you respect that by, say, staying out of desk drawers and not peeking at his caller ID when his phone rings.
Is this something that has to be told to people? You know why James Bond, Secret Squirrel and Danger Mouse (Wait, was Danger Mouse a spy?) were so awesome? They were doing something that was FUCKING ILLEGAL! Watergate, ladies?! Read up and then come back. Okay, let’s continue. As one that has had to explain phone bills to an ex that DIDN’T LIVE WITH ME and why I had so many calls to California and Las Vegas (My parents and my best friend) I am a big proponent of LEAVING MY SHIT ALONE. I have never been through a woman’s things, although in retrospect I should have but that is life. Quite simply, what goes on with you is your business and I trust that you aren’t performing acts of vigilante justice under the guise of the night with kick ass weapons and vehicles. If you are….I SO WANT IN. Maybe I am looking at this the wrong way (Which I always am, according to the opposite sex but thems the breaks) but privacy isn’t a PRIVILEDGE in a relationship, the ability to be open should be paramount to whether it works or one of you is going through the other’s messages asking “BITCH, WHO THE FUCK IS JAMAL?!” It isn’t about independence, it is about not being an untrusting snoop. You aren’t Danger Mouse, so quit acting like you are!
Well, that is all for now. I am hella tired so I am about to head to the bed. I will be back Thursday night for the Countdown and some pre-NDK musings. Until then….TWO DAYS UNTIL ANIME NERDS UNITE! You nasty motherfuckers better bathe….
Chachi Out
Sunday, September 07, 2008
FALCONS WIN ONE! FALCONS WIN ONE!
The Atlanta Falcons won! We won, we didn’t lose, we won! In your face Jon Kitna! We are well on our way to a 5-11 season, baby! Progress, motherfuckers! We are on the highway to being average! And I’m gonna ride it all night long!
Yes, I know it was against the Detroit Lions and their defense is questionable at best but they racked up a lot of garbage passing yards and Atlanta had a touchdown called back for a hold so overall it was a great performance. Michael Turner had 221 rushing yards and Jerious Norwood looks to be an Eric Dickerson type change of pace from the Earl Campbell “GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY” style of Turner. Once this line gels (This is the first game all five have played together, including the preseason I believe) this running game could be scary. It will let Matt Ryan work his way into learning the system with two capable receivers in Roddy White and Michael Jenkins (Who has been non-fucking-service for about three seasons) and even my personal fave Brian Finneran maybe being healthy enough to pitch in some over the middle Ed McCaffery type help for the young guy. Oh, and I have said it once and I will say it again: when John Abraham is healthy he may be the best defensive end in the fucking league. Three sacks and a rape of Jon Kitna is proof of that, especially since he was doubled the whole game. The thing is….he is never FUCKING HEALTHY. I have played in more Falcons games than he has the last two seasons. It was a great win for young Matt Ryan and if the team continues to play like this….there could be big things in the future for the Dirty Birds! However….they ARE the Atlanta Falcons and they are born to undo themselves. Fans know what I mean. Cautiously optimistic but let’s go, Falcons!
So it’s Nan Desu Kan in five days and if anyone is coming tell me now because it is going to be the fucking SHIT! It’s my fourth year which makes me a senior so I am going all out. Stay tuned for “Chef’s Sexy Dance Party” and “Chef’s Sexy Time Sing-Along” on Friday and Saturday respectively. Request are appreciated. But no fucking Guns ‘N’ Roses or the fucking Eagles. My laptop, and I hate the fucking Eagles! More details as they come. Until then, peace out peeps! And always remember….Chef:
Chachi Out.
Yes, I know it was against the Detroit Lions and their defense is questionable at best but they racked up a lot of garbage passing yards and Atlanta had a touchdown called back for a hold so overall it was a great performance. Michael Turner had 221 rushing yards and Jerious Norwood looks to be an Eric Dickerson type change of pace from the Earl Campbell “GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY” style of Turner. Once this line gels (This is the first game all five have played together, including the preseason I believe) this running game could be scary. It will let Matt Ryan work his way into learning the system with two capable receivers in Roddy White and Michael Jenkins (Who has been non-fucking-service for about three seasons) and even my personal fave Brian Finneran maybe being healthy enough to pitch in some over the middle Ed McCaffery type help for the young guy. Oh, and I have said it once and I will say it again: when John Abraham is healthy he may be the best defensive end in the fucking league. Three sacks and a rape of Jon Kitna is proof of that, especially since he was doubled the whole game. The thing is….he is never FUCKING HEALTHY. I have played in more Falcons games than he has the last two seasons. It was a great win for young Matt Ryan and if the team continues to play like this….there could be big things in the future for the Dirty Birds! However….they ARE the Atlanta Falcons and they are born to undo themselves. Fans know what I mean. Cautiously optimistic but let’s go, Falcons!
So it’s Nan Desu Kan in five days and if anyone is coming tell me now because it is going to be the fucking SHIT! It’s my fourth year which makes me a senior so I am going all out. Stay tuned for “Chef’s Sexy Dance Party” and “Chef’s Sexy Time Sing-Along” on Friday and Saturday respectively. Request are appreciated. But no fucking Guns ‘N’ Roses or the fucking Eagles. My laptop, and I hate the fucking Eagles! More details as they come. Until then, peace out peeps! And always remember….Chef:
Chachi Out.
Friday, September 05, 2008
The Year of the 'Ye
Well, it is Friday so you know what time it is! Bring it on!
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown
We begin this week with a debut from a Countdown mainstay over the last 12 months!
20. Hearts Grow – Sora (New Entry)
We begin with a new video from Hearts Grow! The group that has been trying to avoid giving me an album since the dawn of time is back with a new video! It’s the opening from the “Birdy DECODE” anime which makes no sense but this song is awesome. Personally, its my favorite song from them. GIVE ME A DAMN ALBUM!
19. Game feat Keisha Cole – Pain (Last Week #16, One Week at #1)
Man, after releasing an album last week the Game continues to hold on to the Countdown for another week. He didn’t do Lil Wayne numbers but he pulled in a respectable amount of units. Not that it matters to me, but good job.
18. Hyori Lee – Hey Mr. Big! (New Entry)
Well, well, well! Miss Hye-Yo-Ri is back with another video! I will admit that this wasn’t one of my favorite songs on her album but she saved it with a video that looks like Hyori and the Technicolor Hottie-Coat. Just made that up.
17. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Hot Limit (Last Week #14, Two Weeks at #1)
HAMC has been hanging on for over three and a half months but they fall three big spots this week. Also, right in the nick of time they have a new video out! Can you say timing? I know I can!
16. Maroon 5 – Goodnight, Goodnight (Last Week #20)
So Maroon 5 moves up four big spots this week with their latest video. It has been a hella long time since they have been on the Countdown and they are totally making the most of it. This song makes me a little bit sad….
15. RBD - Empezar Desde Cero (Last Week #12)
RBD HAS BROKEN UP! WHY GOD WHY?!
14. UVERworld – Koishikute (Last Week #19, Biggest Mover)
The World is officially back! With their first ballad in over TWO YEARS they are moving up fast this week, moving up five huge spots this week. Can they break their own drought of not having a number one with this video? We will have to see!
13. Ikimono-Gakari - Bluebird (Last Week #10)
After coming so close to taking the top spot, Ikimono-Gakari falls three spots and out of the Top 10 this week. Can I say that the Naruto: Shippuuden movie looks AWESOME. Someone tell me I am right….please?
12. John Legend feat Andre 3000 – Green Light (Last Week #15)
John Legend is back, dammit! He moves up a modest three spots this week but John usually does take his time on the Countdown. He looks to have the green light to the Top 10, though! Can I also say that Andre 3000 has two of the best verses of the year right now….once again? The man needs an album NOW.
11. Wonder Girls – So Hot (Last Week #7, Two Weeks at #1)
The Wonder Girls wonderful summer looks to be over! They fall four big spots out of the Top 10 as we move on. They have a new video but I am kind of not a fan of it yet. It may grow on me, I don’t know.
10. Game feat. Lil Wayne – My Life (Last Week #13)
The Game is back in the Top Ten! In a shocker, despite his huge year, Lil’ Wayne graces the Countdown for the first time ever. I am not really a Lil’ Wayne stan but I will admit that sometimes he lays it down. This song is carried by Game, though.
9. Bennie K feat SOFFet – Music Traveler (Last Week #11)
Bennie K is back in the Top 10! You know, for a group that puts out videos so sporadically they usually dominate when they do. The test of a true champion.
8. T.I. – No Matter What (Last Week #5, One Week at #1)
T.I. falls three spots this week as I anxiously await the release of Paper Trail in September. On another note, my birthday in 12 days motherfucker! Shawty want gifts!
7. FLOW – WORLD END (Last Week #9)
FLOW is officially back! They move up two spots this week as they look to take their first number one video in over two years. You see, rock isn’t dead at all!
6. Kelun – CHU-BURA (Last Week #3, One Week at #1)
Kelun has fallen from the Top Three this week as we close in on the Top Five. Nothing new from them yet but they have an impressive enough body of work to lay claim to the Rock Artist of the Year Chachi Award. Tune in, the nominees will be up soon!
5. NERD feat Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pusha-T – Everybody Nose (Remix) (Last Week #8)
We start the Top Five with CRS and Pusha T. After dominating all of January and February of this year they are officially back. Also, this is officially the year of Kanye West. You will see what I mean in a minute.
4. Yui – Summer Song (Last Week #2)
After two weeks as runner up, Yui falls ONCE AGAIN without getting her third number one video! It has been a great but rough year for Yui with FOUR number two videos for a combined stay of 7 weeks. Now we are down to three!
3. Fonzworth Bentley feat Andre 3000 & Kanye West – Everybody [Don’t Stop] (Last Week #6)
Wow, the world is a-changing. Fonzworth Bentley has moved up into the Top Three with help from some friends. And by some friends I mean some real star power in Kanye West (He’s back!) and Andre 3000 (He is also back!). If this video doesn’t take off nationwide it proves that none of you know good music. This song is the mad notes!
2. Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl (Last Week #4)
The princess is one step away from being the queen! Miss Hyorish herself (I really don’t like that name) moves up two big spots this week even with another video debuting! Can she be the first Korean solo artist to have a number one video? Not even RAIN has had a number one video! To do so, she will have to unseat the reigning champ…
1. Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
The Snowman and Don Louis Vitton hold it down for a second week! Also, Young Jeezy’s album is in stores now! Pick it up, fools! Jeezy and Kanye officially have the hottest song of the summer if not all year and the video is something I like to call “teh awesomeness.” One of the few times rap makes you think. Congrats guys!
That is all for this week! Tune in next week to see if Young Jeezy and Kanye can put it on the Countdown for a third week in a row! Or can Hyori Lee take the top spot back for the ladies? Look out for Fonsworth Bentley, He is looking to make everybody believe that he can be number one! See you in seven!
Well, I am out. Maybe some movies and drinking later but aside from that I will see you all next time.
Chachi Out
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown
We begin this week with a debut from a Countdown mainstay over the last 12 months!
20. Hearts Grow – Sora (New Entry)
We begin with a new video from Hearts Grow! The group that has been trying to avoid giving me an album since the dawn of time is back with a new video! It’s the opening from the “Birdy DECODE” anime which makes no sense but this song is awesome. Personally, its my favorite song from them. GIVE ME A DAMN ALBUM!
19. Game feat Keisha Cole – Pain (Last Week #16, One Week at #1)
Man, after releasing an album last week the Game continues to hold on to the Countdown for another week. He didn’t do Lil Wayne numbers but he pulled in a respectable amount of units. Not that it matters to me, but good job.
18. Hyori Lee – Hey Mr. Big! (New Entry)
Well, well, well! Miss Hye-Yo-Ri is back with another video! I will admit that this wasn’t one of my favorite songs on her album but she saved it with a video that looks like Hyori and the Technicolor Hottie-Coat. Just made that up.
17. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Hot Limit (Last Week #14, Two Weeks at #1)
HAMC has been hanging on for over three and a half months but they fall three big spots this week. Also, right in the nick of time they have a new video out! Can you say timing? I know I can!
16. Maroon 5 – Goodnight, Goodnight (Last Week #20)
So Maroon 5 moves up four big spots this week with their latest video. It has been a hella long time since they have been on the Countdown and they are totally making the most of it. This song makes me a little bit sad….
15. RBD - Empezar Desde Cero (Last Week #12)
RBD HAS BROKEN UP! WHY GOD WHY?!
14. UVERworld – Koishikute (Last Week #19, Biggest Mover)
The World is officially back! With their first ballad in over TWO YEARS they are moving up fast this week, moving up five huge spots this week. Can they break their own drought of not having a number one with this video? We will have to see!
13. Ikimono-Gakari - Bluebird (Last Week #10)
After coming so close to taking the top spot, Ikimono-Gakari falls three spots and out of the Top 10 this week. Can I say that the Naruto: Shippuuden movie looks AWESOME. Someone tell me I am right….please?
12. John Legend feat Andre 3000 – Green Light (Last Week #15)
John Legend is back, dammit! He moves up a modest three spots this week but John usually does take his time on the Countdown. He looks to have the green light to the Top 10, though! Can I also say that Andre 3000 has two of the best verses of the year right now….once again? The man needs an album NOW.
11. Wonder Girls – So Hot (Last Week #7, Two Weeks at #1)
The Wonder Girls wonderful summer looks to be over! They fall four big spots out of the Top 10 as we move on. They have a new video but I am kind of not a fan of it yet. It may grow on me, I don’t know.
10. Game feat. Lil Wayne – My Life (Last Week #13)
The Game is back in the Top Ten! In a shocker, despite his huge year, Lil’ Wayne graces the Countdown for the first time ever. I am not really a Lil’ Wayne stan but I will admit that sometimes he lays it down. This song is carried by Game, though.
9. Bennie K feat SOFFet – Music Traveler (Last Week #11)
Bennie K is back in the Top 10! You know, for a group that puts out videos so sporadically they usually dominate when they do. The test of a true champion.
8. T.I. – No Matter What (Last Week #5, One Week at #1)
T.I. falls three spots this week as I anxiously await the release of Paper Trail in September. On another note, my birthday in 12 days motherfucker! Shawty want gifts!
7. FLOW – WORLD END (Last Week #9)
FLOW is officially back! They move up two spots this week as they look to take their first number one video in over two years. You see, rock isn’t dead at all!
6. Kelun – CHU-BURA (Last Week #3, One Week at #1)
Kelun has fallen from the Top Three this week as we close in on the Top Five. Nothing new from them yet but they have an impressive enough body of work to lay claim to the Rock Artist of the Year Chachi Award. Tune in, the nominees will be up soon!
5. NERD feat Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pusha-T – Everybody Nose (Remix) (Last Week #8)
We start the Top Five with CRS and Pusha T. After dominating all of January and February of this year they are officially back. Also, this is officially the year of Kanye West. You will see what I mean in a minute.
4. Yui – Summer Song (Last Week #2)
After two weeks as runner up, Yui falls ONCE AGAIN without getting her third number one video! It has been a great but rough year for Yui with FOUR number two videos for a combined stay of 7 weeks. Now we are down to three!
3. Fonzworth Bentley feat Andre 3000 & Kanye West – Everybody [Don’t Stop] (Last Week #6)
Wow, the world is a-changing. Fonzworth Bentley has moved up into the Top Three with help from some friends. And by some friends I mean some real star power in Kanye West (He’s back!) and Andre 3000 (He is also back!). If this video doesn’t take off nationwide it proves that none of you know good music. This song is the mad notes!
2. Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl (Last Week #4)
The princess is one step away from being the queen! Miss Hyorish herself (I really don’t like that name) moves up two big spots this week even with another video debuting! Can she be the first Korean solo artist to have a number one video? Not even RAIN has had a number one video! To do so, she will have to unseat the reigning champ…
1. Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
The Snowman and Don Louis Vitton hold it down for a second week! Also, Young Jeezy’s album is in stores now! Pick it up, fools! Jeezy and Kanye officially have the hottest song of the summer if not all year and the video is something I like to call “teh awesomeness.” One of the few times rap makes you think. Congrats guys!
That is all for this week! Tune in next week to see if Young Jeezy and Kanye can put it on the Countdown for a third week in a row! Or can Hyori Lee take the top spot back for the ladies? Look out for Fonsworth Bentley, He is looking to make everybody believe that he can be number one! See you in seven!
Well, I am out. Maybe some movies and drinking later but aside from that I will see you all next time.
Chachi Out
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Black People With Books: Scarier Than A Nigga With A Gun?
So I already knew that Lynn "I Have Never Been Involved In Any Way Shape Or Form Of Niggerdom" Westmoreland from my state of Georgia wasnt a fan of the...well, anyone that ain't White. We all know that. But when I heard he said this about Barack & Michelle Obama:
"Just from what little I’ve seen of her and Mr. Obama, Sen. Obama, they're a member of an elitist-class individual that thinks that they're uppity,"
I kind of said to myself: What kind of douchebag fuckwit says uppity anyway?" I will tell you.
Lynn Westmoreland.
I am really.....really getting sick of this bullshit. You dont like the man? Fine. You think his politics and stances suck? You are correct and I am a supporter. But focus on the damn issues. Maybe he is uppity because he is smarter than you. Ever thought of that? Sorry that we are shucking and jiving for your bitch ass anymore while playing a banjo and spitting watermelon seeds. God forbid a nigra run for the highest office in the land and not refer to John McCain as "massa" while singing "My Old Kentucy Home":
All that fancy Ivy league book readin' done went to that darkies head! I'm pretty uppity my damn self so eat a dick, Lynn. I hope you choke on it. There are a lot of us and we sure as fuck aint going back to the field. FIGHT THE POWER!
Wow....Flavor Flav used to be in Public Enemy? I totally blocked that out after the whole Surreal Life fiasco. *sigh* we need more Chuck D's in the world. A little less about killing White people and more about uplifiting all people but still.
Oh, and Lynn just for the record Barack Obama is half White so he isn't uppity. He is just channeling his inner whitey.
Chachi Out.
"Just from what little I’ve seen of her and Mr. Obama, Sen. Obama, they're a member of an elitist-class individual that thinks that they're uppity,"
I kind of said to myself: What kind of douchebag fuckwit says uppity anyway?" I will tell you.
Lynn Westmoreland.
I am really.....really getting sick of this bullshit. You dont like the man? Fine. You think his politics and stances suck? You are correct and I am a supporter. But focus on the damn issues. Maybe he is uppity because he is smarter than you. Ever thought of that? Sorry that we are shucking and jiving for your bitch ass anymore while playing a banjo and spitting watermelon seeds. God forbid a nigra run for the highest office in the land and not refer to John McCain as "massa" while singing "My Old Kentucy Home":
All that fancy Ivy league book readin' done went to that darkies head! I'm pretty uppity my damn self so eat a dick, Lynn. I hope you choke on it. There are a lot of us and we sure as fuck aint going back to the field. FIGHT THE POWER!
Wow....Flavor Flav used to be in Public Enemy? I totally blocked that out after the whole Surreal Life fiasco. *sigh* we need more Chuck D's in the world. A little less about killing White people and more about uplifiting all people but still.
Oh, and Lynn just for the record Barack Obama is half White so he isn't uppity. He is just channeling his inner whitey.
Chachi Out.
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
God May Bless The Little Children, I Say Fuck Off. The Future Is NOW.
What is up, people! I am back on the scene and I want to talk about two things in one. One is something that until this year I really shied away from because I didn’t care and that is politics. I was completely disillusioned and a registered Independent (W00T!) due to the ineptitude of the Democrats and the utter and complete worthlessness (And unadulterated evil and blatant Jesus cocksucking) of the Republicans. That was until I saw Barack Obama’s keynote speech at the Democratic National Convention. I remember watching (And fearing John Kerry’s speech because I knew it would be teh suck)Obama on TV after knowing a good bit about him (My mom’s family is from the southside of Chicago and always talked about him so I knew a lot of his record and stances) and saying “You know, we don’t agree on a lot but if he ran I would vote for him” but I knew that Blacks running for President never ended well if you was “Deep Impact” or “24.” But here we are four years or so later and Barack Obama is on track to maybe be the first Black (Or 43rd White, which no one wants to look at but White people are fucktards and Black people are asshats so I have gotten used to both fucking shit up) President and I give a shit about politics again.
The second part of today’s blog is going to be abortion. As you all know, I LOVE me some abortions. I think they should be given out to women like extra honey packets at Popeye’s Chicken because for me it is the best of both worlds. It pisses of the religious right (You know every time Jesus cries from a woman having an abortion, I have an orgasm. It’s totally true! The tears of Jesus are delicious and taste GREAT in a White Russian!) because they think that God is still relevant in these days and times when I can get porn on my CELL PHONE and of course it pisses off women because they can’t agree on what makes a whore (Hint: The answer usually involves or is completely “Not me!”) let alone when life begins. I may say a lot of things on this blog that may make it look like I am against everyone and everything that isn’t Pedo Bear approved (Unlike Bristol Palin. PEDO BEAR DO WANT….if she hadn’t already been had). However, I believe that abortion ISN’T murder even though I can’t have one and haven’t had to make the decision. With that being said, it seems the news is all over Sarah Palin right now and while I knew VERY LITTLE about her because Alaska is only one inbred child away from being the South (No time to fuck our own family! There are moose everywhere just waiting for a hot Alaska dicking!) so I really don’t care. However, people are making a big deal about how her daughter is pregnant and while I personally think that she should listen to my advice to the Africans (STOP FUCKING) I must say that this is neither a political talking point (Although I am not letting go of the fact it is her SECOND daughter because Sarah faked the first one as hers but that is neither here nor there) nor is it “brave” as the Bible sodomizing Evangelicals would lead you to believe. It is just a teenager being stupid and despite knowing where babies come from decided to roll the dice and have sex anyway and got the worst STD around: KID.
However, this did give me a good reason to go ahead and do a post about my favorite offending topic: how much I love abortions. So, it is time to bring back something old school! It is time for…
Chachi’s Reasons Why…..Abortions Are Awesome!
Reason #1: Abortions Are Awesome Because….It Pisses Everyone But Me Off
Now if you read this blog with any frequency you know that I pretty much will say anything and everything that is on my mind at all points and times. So you KNOW that about 75% of what I say will offend someone because:
1. People are sensitive fuckwits that don’t understand it is the WORLD WIDE FUCKING WEB and they can find something else to look at.
2. I really don’t fall in line with others on my views on issues.
So with that being said, when I was in college I was (And still am) totally pro-choice. Not because I necessarily believe it should be a woman’s right as much as I believe that it is your gullyhole and what goes in or comes out (Repeat as needed depending on your level of whoredom) is your fool ass business. Now I never used to care about it in terms of the actual “religious” argument until I got to Colorado because Colorado loves Jesus more than I hate his hippie Jew ass. The first time I heard that abortion was murder in my first Women’s Studies class. I laughed for about half a minute. Then I looked at her and that bitch was dead serious and I responded with “Abortions are like throwing out clay. Yes it is a waste but it hasn’t become anything yet so it is a wash.” Needless to say, she freaked. Now the pro-choice females in class were offended while Jon (My best friend and quasi-roommate at the time) laughed his ASS OFF. Now I have never been about the argument “It’s my body!” because it is your body when you want to kill a baby but when you get drunk and spread like the West Virginia option and come to and say “your body” was violated you honestly can’t have it both ways and not be a dumbass for both scenarios. Think about it, it makes sense. Or not, I am in dire need of some soju. Now people want you to be for abortion because it is a woman’s right or against it because it is murder. Well, I am for it because I hate babies and Jesus. As for baby Jesus….I’m neutral.
Reason #2: Abortions Are Awesome Because….It Stops Loveless Marriages And Traumatized Children
You see, I have known several people that have only gotten married because of the accidental creation of a child. You know how often those marriages have lasted? I know of only one. Now you have a child traumatized because the mother now hates men and the father now hates the mother and so that kid is fucked up and will either end up stripping on the pole or trying to mug an old lady. Slippery slope I will admit but for the sake of this post I will go there because it is totally against my stance that 75% of people are worthless anyway with or without a two parent home. Understand this; I am not saying that abortion should be used as a birth control for women that can’t stop fucking or men that can’t stop fucking said women. Let’s be honest here. How many of you have played Prince of Persia: Sands of Time? Remember the rewind button when you fell off a wall or did…anything in that fucking game?:
I am not saying that abortion is the Prince of Persia rewind button. But should you lose out on a speed run because decided to have sex with a random person or just know that you aren’t mentally fit to be a parent? Call me cruel….but I don’t think so.
More reasons to come later, I needs me some of that stuff they call the sleep. Until next time (Odds are Thursday unless it is Nerd-Out night again in which Saturday will be it not counting the Countdown) stay up ya’ll.
Chachi Out.
The second part of today’s blog is going to be abortion. As you all know, I LOVE me some abortions. I think they should be given out to women like extra honey packets at Popeye’s Chicken because for me it is the best of both worlds. It pisses of the religious right (You know every time Jesus cries from a woman having an abortion, I have an orgasm. It’s totally true! The tears of Jesus are delicious and taste GREAT in a White Russian!) because they think that God is still relevant in these days and times when I can get porn on my CELL PHONE and of course it pisses off women because they can’t agree on what makes a whore (Hint: The answer usually involves or is completely “Not me!”) let alone when life begins. I may say a lot of things on this blog that may make it look like I am against everyone and everything that isn’t Pedo Bear approved (Unlike Bristol Palin. PEDO BEAR DO WANT….if she hadn’t already been had). However, I believe that abortion ISN’T murder even though I can’t have one and haven’t had to make the decision. With that being said, it seems the news is all over Sarah Palin right now and while I knew VERY LITTLE about her because Alaska is only one inbred child away from being the South (No time to fuck our own family! There are moose everywhere just waiting for a hot Alaska dicking!) so I really don’t care. However, people are making a big deal about how her daughter is pregnant and while I personally think that she should listen to my advice to the Africans (STOP FUCKING) I must say that this is neither a political talking point (Although I am not letting go of the fact it is her SECOND daughter because Sarah faked the first one as hers but that is neither here nor there) nor is it “brave” as the Bible sodomizing Evangelicals would lead you to believe. It is just a teenager being stupid and despite knowing where babies come from decided to roll the dice and have sex anyway and got the worst STD around: KID.
However, this did give me a good reason to go ahead and do a post about my favorite offending topic: how much I love abortions. So, it is time to bring back something old school! It is time for…
Chachi’s Reasons Why…..Abortions Are Awesome!
Reason #1: Abortions Are Awesome Because….It Pisses Everyone But Me Off
Now if you read this blog with any frequency you know that I pretty much will say anything and everything that is on my mind at all points and times. So you KNOW that about 75% of what I say will offend someone because:
1. People are sensitive fuckwits that don’t understand it is the WORLD WIDE FUCKING WEB and they can find something else to look at.
2. I really don’t fall in line with others on my views on issues.
So with that being said, when I was in college I was (And still am) totally pro-choice. Not because I necessarily believe it should be a woman’s right as much as I believe that it is your gullyhole and what goes in or comes out (Repeat as needed depending on your level of whoredom) is your fool ass business. Now I never used to care about it in terms of the actual “religious” argument until I got to Colorado because Colorado loves Jesus more than I hate his hippie Jew ass. The first time I heard that abortion was murder in my first Women’s Studies class. I laughed for about half a minute. Then I looked at her and that bitch was dead serious and I responded with “Abortions are like throwing out clay. Yes it is a waste but it hasn’t become anything yet so it is a wash.” Needless to say, she freaked. Now the pro-choice females in class were offended while Jon (My best friend and quasi-roommate at the time) laughed his ASS OFF. Now I have never been about the argument “It’s my body!” because it is your body when you want to kill a baby but when you get drunk and spread like the West Virginia option and come to and say “your body” was violated you honestly can’t have it both ways and not be a dumbass for both scenarios. Think about it, it makes sense. Or not, I am in dire need of some soju. Now people want you to be for abortion because it is a woman’s right or against it because it is murder. Well, I am for it because I hate babies and Jesus. As for baby Jesus….I’m neutral.
Reason #2: Abortions Are Awesome Because….It Stops Loveless Marriages And Traumatized Children
You see, I have known several people that have only gotten married because of the accidental creation of a child. You know how often those marriages have lasted? I know of only one. Now you have a child traumatized because the mother now hates men and the father now hates the mother and so that kid is fucked up and will either end up stripping on the pole or trying to mug an old lady. Slippery slope I will admit but for the sake of this post I will go there because it is totally against my stance that 75% of people are worthless anyway with or without a two parent home. Understand this; I am not saying that abortion should be used as a birth control for women that can’t stop fucking or men that can’t stop fucking said women. Let’s be honest here. How many of you have played Prince of Persia: Sands of Time? Remember the rewind button when you fell off a wall or did…anything in that fucking game?:
I am not saying that abortion is the Prince of Persia rewind button. But should you lose out on a speed run because decided to have sex with a random person or just know that you aren’t mentally fit to be a parent? Call me cruel….but I don’t think so.
More reasons to come later, I needs me some of that stuff they call the sleep. Until next time (Odds are Thursday unless it is Nerd-Out night again in which Saturday will be it not counting the Countdown) stay up ya’ll.
Chachi Out.
Monday, September 01, 2008
Labor Day: Making People Think The Government Gives A Shit About You Since 1882
I am back, bitches!! It is time for another installment of….
Random Thoughts
I Still Hate Mac Commercials
Yeah, these are still pissing me off. I am curious about how much Apple spends on these ads because at the end of the day the only people that buy Macs are:
• People that use its software (Garage Band and all the other gay shit)
• Mouth breathers (You know who you are)
• Yearbook (Yeah, I can understand why but still. I was SO LAME!)
• Pretentious cockmongers that think having a Mac is tres cool because it is the computer of Euro fags and celeb fuckwits everywhere.
If you don’t fall into one of these categories and you own a Mac then you are just a believer in hype or a hippie ass college student. You know, I don’t really have an issue with the Mac as much as I despise Mac users. I mean you can literally tell a Mac user because they all look like this:
See, odds are this asshole claims to be “green” and all about the planet and giving up “material goods” but has a Mac, a Prius (Which is American for FAGMONATRON!), an iPod and all the other things that pretentious, hippie douches own to show how much of a free spirit they are. The fact is that if you have a Mac because you think it is hip then you are a fuckwit. End of story.
I Love Money! And I Am Ashamed….
So “I Love Money” may just be the worst show on TV that I really have to watch. I mean it pretty much proves everything I have been saying about women (and men, for that matter) for years when it comes to money and attention: everyone’s got a price:
I love how women will either defend their actions of dumbing down American TV or just say they aren’t like them. Well, if Black people have to claim 50 Cent then women have to claim attention whores. Thems the rules and it is why you will never be president.
Dane Cook Really Isn’t All That Fucking Funny
You know, I have never really understood the whole love with Dane Cook because I never really found his jokes funny. Without funny jokes, his stand up routine is like the San Diego Chargers of last year with Hillary Duff at quarterback tried and true system screwed up by a lack of talent and execution at the most important point: delivery. Dane Cook takes really average jokes and makes them average….but animated. Over animated. I am talking “One Piece” over animated:
What makes it even worse is that people repeat his jokes ad nauseum worse than the Chappelle Show jokes but the Chappelle Show was funny. Dane Cook jokes are like DMX raps: only any good when he says them because the delivery is so jacked. However, Dane Cook’s delivery sucks teh balls and he is NO DMX. AYO, MOTHERFUCKER!!
Women’s Rights…..Eh, Why Not? They Can't Seem To Dodge Them....(BURN!)
So can I just say that I am really…..really getting tired of people bitching and placing bullshit religious meaning to shit like abortion and marriage? Fuck the Bible, it shouldn’t be a relevant text about shit IN THE GOD DAMNED FUTURE. Catholics are out of date and so is the word of that book. Seriously, who gives a fuck when life begins? As far as I am concerned life begins when that little shit can be a valuable member of society. And since kids are little demon spawn until they hit old enough to be beaten (Which I say is as soon as they say their first words but that is FROWNED UPON by shitheads and fucktards alike) a child means jack shit to me. Therefore, if a woman wants to have a mass of wasted talent ripped from her uterus like the pride of Michigan alumni right now (You lost to fucking MORMONS!) I am totally cool with that. It aint my body and I aint fuck you so knock yourself out. Baby removals for all! Seriously, I don’t care if you think it is wrong or you think God doesn’t approve (Have you READ the Bible? He doesn’t approve of shit except him being a dick) the simple fact is that it isn’t your choice to make so shut the fuck up. Making it illegal means you are going to have more scenes like Dirty Dancing or Sarah Palin’s dumb ass covering up for her knocked up daughter because she wouldn’t just let her leave that baby in the fucking wilderness. Two words for you, Sarah…Jungle Book. Mowgli turned out just fine!
Singing and dancing and such. That would be AWESOME. Now you have a bastard baby with Downs Syndrome when you could have had a kick ass dancing baby that got down with jungle animals. I am SO voting for Obama. That man is the Simba of the Democratic Party.
IN THE CIRRRRRRCLLLLLLLEEEEE…..THE CIRCLE OF LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE YEAH!
No Elton John in the Republican Party. They hate the gays. Speaking of gays, who REALLY gives a fuck if they get married. If someone can give me a reason that homosexicals shouldn’t be married without using the line “It’s a sin in the bible” or “It’s an aberration” then I will still not give a fuck but at least I will TRY to respect you. Two dudes get married, why do you care? I don’t care when two ugly redneck people get married. Hell, it’s just as fucking bad! What is even worse is they can reproduce while gays (Who are scientifically smarter than straights. Their minds aren’t preoccupied with the things straight people think about) cannot! So you would rather have dipshits get married that can’t even fill out a marriage certificate without a fucking template but you won’t let a boyfriend and boyfriend (or the less sassy girlfriend and girlfriend) enjoy the world of marriage? You are a fucktard if you say yes. Remember, Britney and K-Fed were legally allowed to marry while Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi were not (For a while, anyway. Boston is FAB-YOU-LOUS!) and that is right in the eyes of God? Well I hate to break it to you but Jesus was gay. There, I said it. Speaking of Jesus…
Stop Saying “Jesus Take The Wheel”
Seriously, Jesus can’t drive with his hands and feet in the condition they are in LET ALONE TAKE THE FUCKING WHEEL.
And on that note, I am sure I offended SOMEONE so my job is done. Enjoy your Labor Day weekend and in 17 days I EXPECT GIFTS, MOTHERFUCKERS.
Chachi Out.
Random Thoughts
I Still Hate Mac Commercials
Yeah, these are still pissing me off. I am curious about how much Apple spends on these ads because at the end of the day the only people that buy Macs are:
• People that use its software (Garage Band and all the other gay shit)
• Mouth breathers (You know who you are)
• Yearbook (Yeah, I can understand why but still. I was SO LAME!)
• Pretentious cockmongers that think having a Mac is tres cool because it is the computer of Euro fags and celeb fuckwits everywhere.
If you don’t fall into one of these categories and you own a Mac then you are just a believer in hype or a hippie ass college student. You know, I don’t really have an issue with the Mac as much as I despise Mac users. I mean you can literally tell a Mac user because they all look like this:
See, odds are this asshole claims to be “green” and all about the planet and giving up “material goods” but has a Mac, a Prius (Which is American for FAGMONATRON!), an iPod and all the other things that pretentious, hippie douches own to show how much of a free spirit they are. The fact is that if you have a Mac because you think it is hip then you are a fuckwit. End of story.
I Love Money! And I Am Ashamed….
So “I Love Money” may just be the worst show on TV that I really have to watch. I mean it pretty much proves everything I have been saying about women (and men, for that matter) for years when it comes to money and attention: everyone’s got a price:
I love how women will either defend their actions of dumbing down American TV or just say they aren’t like them. Well, if Black people have to claim 50 Cent then women have to claim attention whores. Thems the rules and it is why you will never be president.
Dane Cook Really Isn’t All That Fucking Funny
You know, I have never really understood the whole love with Dane Cook because I never really found his jokes funny. Without funny jokes, his stand up routine is like the San Diego Chargers of last year with Hillary Duff at quarterback tried and true system screwed up by a lack of talent and execution at the most important point: delivery. Dane Cook takes really average jokes and makes them average….but animated. Over animated. I am talking “One Piece” over animated:
What makes it even worse is that people repeat his jokes ad nauseum worse than the Chappelle Show jokes but the Chappelle Show was funny. Dane Cook jokes are like DMX raps: only any good when he says them because the delivery is so jacked. However, Dane Cook’s delivery sucks teh balls and he is NO DMX. AYO, MOTHERFUCKER!!
Women’s Rights…..Eh, Why Not? They Can't Seem To Dodge Them....(BURN!)
So can I just say that I am really…..really getting tired of people bitching and placing bullshit religious meaning to shit like abortion and marriage? Fuck the Bible, it shouldn’t be a relevant text about shit IN THE GOD DAMNED FUTURE. Catholics are out of date and so is the word of that book. Seriously, who gives a fuck when life begins? As far as I am concerned life begins when that little shit can be a valuable member of society. And since kids are little demon spawn until they hit old enough to be beaten (Which I say is as soon as they say their first words but that is FROWNED UPON by shitheads and fucktards alike) a child means jack shit to me. Therefore, if a woman wants to have a mass of wasted talent ripped from her uterus like the pride of Michigan alumni right now (You lost to fucking MORMONS!) I am totally cool with that. It aint my body and I aint fuck you so knock yourself out. Baby removals for all! Seriously, I don’t care if you think it is wrong or you think God doesn’t approve (Have you READ the Bible? He doesn’t approve of shit except him being a dick) the simple fact is that it isn’t your choice to make so shut the fuck up. Making it illegal means you are going to have more scenes like Dirty Dancing or Sarah Palin’s dumb ass covering up for her knocked up daughter because she wouldn’t just let her leave that baby in the fucking wilderness. Two words for you, Sarah…Jungle Book. Mowgli turned out just fine!
Singing and dancing and such. That would be AWESOME. Now you have a bastard baby with Downs Syndrome when you could have had a kick ass dancing baby that got down with jungle animals. I am SO voting for Obama. That man is the Simba of the Democratic Party.
IN THE CIRRRRRRCLLLLLLLEEEEE…..THE CIRCLE OF LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE YEAH!
No Elton John in the Republican Party. They hate the gays. Speaking of gays, who REALLY gives a fuck if they get married. If someone can give me a reason that homosexicals shouldn’t be married without using the line “It’s a sin in the bible” or “It’s an aberration” then I will still not give a fuck but at least I will TRY to respect you. Two dudes get married, why do you care? I don’t care when two ugly redneck people get married. Hell, it’s just as fucking bad! What is even worse is they can reproduce while gays (Who are scientifically smarter than straights. Their minds aren’t preoccupied with the things straight people think about) cannot! So you would rather have dipshits get married that can’t even fill out a marriage certificate without a fucking template but you won’t let a boyfriend and boyfriend (or the less sassy girlfriend and girlfriend) enjoy the world of marriage? You are a fucktard if you say yes. Remember, Britney and K-Fed were legally allowed to marry while Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi were not (For a while, anyway. Boston is FAB-YOU-LOUS!) and that is right in the eyes of God? Well I hate to break it to you but Jesus was gay. There, I said it. Speaking of Jesus…
Stop Saying “Jesus Take The Wheel”
Seriously, Jesus can’t drive with his hands and feet in the condition they are in LET ALONE TAKE THE FUCKING WHEEL.
And on that note, I am sure I offended SOMEONE so my job is done. Enjoy your Labor Day weekend and in 17 days I EXPECT GIFTS, MOTHERFUCKERS.
Chachi Out.
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