What is up, people?! It has been about a week and a half (Since before NDK, I believe) since I have done a real post but life has taken a crap on me over the last 30 days or so but things are finally up and moving the way I want them. Well, as good as the fucking can be but sometimes you gotta pull a Steve Winwood and roll with it, baby. However, there are some things that have pissed me off since the last time I got pissed off and ranted so it is about that time. There are some things that are really pissing me off as of late and you know what? People need to FUCKING DIE. People in Prius….Priuses….Priusi…whatever the fuck they are called need to do all of these things:
1. Get A Real Fucking Car: I don’t give a flying fuck about the environment you hippie shit. Your battery isn’t biodegradable and the cost of upkeeping your car is more than getting a normal Honda Accord or Nissan Sentra. The fact your shitty ass vehicle can’t go over 55 miles per hour is a sign that you don’t have a fucking car. Congratulations, you have a motherfucking Power Wheel:
At least they had GI Joe jeep Power Wheels. Hell of a lot cooler than your piece of shit Tonka ride.
2. Lay Off The Fucking Bumper Stickers: First off, you are wasting paper and adhesive and destroying the planet. Smooth move, shit face. Secondly, as a sort-of-kind-of-hate-Republicans-and-thair-gun-toting-Black-people-hating-redneck-asses Liberal (Ugh…..I hate being one but man, Conservatives can eat a dick. Most do because they are closet homosexicals but still) I get really tired of your shitty bumper stickers about “Make Love Not War!” and “Give Peace A Chance!” I want you to understand one thing: the 60’s died at Altamont in 1969 and when hippes tried to make a comeback in the 70’s they had to go all Kent State on their asses….at Kent State. Too soon? Naaaaah. In other words, being a hippie sucked then and it sucked now. Being an activist doesn’t mean getting high, not bathing and talking about how material goods are a tool of the patriarchal government while you sit in your STYLISH NEW ECO-CAR. Hypocritical fuckwits.
3. Get Turbo: It’s Eco-Friendly AND keeps me from running you off the fucking road. Seriously, how does YOU stopping ME from getting somewhere at 80mph save the fucking planet? You may save gas on your end but you will have me breaking my foot off in your ASS on this end if you don’t get the fuck out of my way. I have no idea if the car just goes that slow or your pretentious attitude about you saving this hellhole of a planet makes you drive slow to sustain your ego and let everyone see what a attention-whore you are but either way you need to get the fuck out of the road. Get on the sidewalk or put a fan on the back of that bitch.
If you are reading this and you drive a Prius then FUCK YOU. Fuck your car and FUCK YO COUCH!
Love that video. Anyway, I will try to be back up before Friday and stay tuned! This Sunday is the Chachi Music & Video Awards Nominee Special! Well, it SHOULD BE but things on this bad boy that aren’t Douchebrawl are tentative. Until next time, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out.
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