You Spin Me Right Round....Into Putting My Foot In Your Dumb Ass.

I am so back! After a pretty shitty day yesterday, today picked up as I shouldn’t be down for too long. Even though I am not sure I am going to stay where I am at, it is good to have options and it is even better to have friends. With that being said, it is totally time for a good old fashioned rant. It has been a while since I teed about something that genuinely pissed me off but it is about time for this because it has been making me want to buy a gun and shoot people in the face for a while now.

IF YOU CAN NOT USE A ROUNDABOUT, GO ANOTHER WAY!

First off, I don’t want to blame the assholes as much as I want to blame planning and the Department of Transportation because you cannot put something that involves any thought in Colorado Springs. I mean the British use them and they can’t even fix their teeth. The only people that can’t use a roundabout are The Griswalds.

In a town full of Jesus freaks, bros, dumb bitches, niggas, brain dead enlisted Army, a gaggle of old people and of course migrant Mexicans (NO ES BUENO!) you really can’t expect them to grasp a concept as SIMPLE AS A FUCKING ROUNDABOUT! It’s like putting a library in a goddamn dog park: sure it looks nice but what in the flying fuck is a dog going to do with a bunch of books they can’t read? Books to dogs are just like condoms to a Catholic or Catholicism to the real world: FUCKING USELESS AND OVERALL IRRELEVANT.

With that being said, the usage of a roundabout is simple if you have two brain cells to rub the hell together. Now with most people in this city NOT having that simple perquisite I can understand how they could get caught in one or just flat out stop in the middle of one. When you do that, those that CAN use a roundabout should be able to beat you into a coma with sticks because much like niggas and rednecks do to society, you are halting progress with your dipshitery. Oooohhh, I like that one. This is the simple process of a roundabout:

It is simple. If you COME IN the outside lane (unless there is no one in the roundabout at all in which I say go fucking nuts with the lane shifts but a Brit will gouge your eyes out and fill your skull with a pint), you will EXIT from the outside lane. You NEVER cross lanes unless you have to or you are ready to get your ass whooped on. It is that simple. So what is so hard for people to get about this process?! How many times have you been cut off by a fuckwad in the roundabout or has someone not yielded to traffic because they are a fucking simpleton? How can you fuck up driving in a circle?! Don’t most of you inbred fucks in Colorado love NASCAR?! IT IS ALL ABOUT DRIVING IN A FUCKING CIRCLE! You should be Vikings on those things!

As nice as they look, they don’t belong here because Americans are dumb. I mean, Americans can’t even beat Japanese video games without having them dumbed down, how in the hell can we master DRIVING IN THE REAL WORLD? Since they are here to stay, I suggest you learn to use them correctly, people. I will not hesitate to break my foot off in your ass for not using one correctly.

That is all for now. Just a quick rant because….well, people here are fucking stupid and this had to be said. Now if you excuse me, Patton Oswalt is on and he is fucking hilarious. Peace out, I will try to be back up tomorrow. Stay up, peeps.

Chachi Out.