What is up, peeps?! I am back up again and I must say it has been a very vindicating to get back to blogging. It has been a great process of opening up, letting go and ranting that has me feeling great like I did in 2007-2008 when I was using the blog as an outlet to let things fly and let them go. Stopped doing that for a while and some of you know the asshole that I became. Never going back again, peeps.
So yesterday I talked about some quotes I have used that I live by. While at work this morning (PANCAKES! FUCK YEAH!) I was talking to some co-workers and after some prodding we got into a discussion about how some awkward things have been said to me in my life from the opposite sex. Now I will admit that a lot was justified because I am kind of a jerk sometimes. That being said, they really helped me learn a lot about my dipshittery and I will share them with you now. So I give to you…
Things My Momma Didn’t Tell Me…
The Best Lines I Have Ever Heard About Me
You Are Too Self-Absorbed To Care About Being Dumped
Well, this is a complete counter to the next statement but I put this one first because at the time I really think I was. If anyone out there remembers me in 2006 when I heard this, my GOD was I a total asshole. I am surprised the friends I still had didn’t try to break my face because I was out of control. So then I understood that statement because I was more concerned about myself than anyone else which makes it hard to logically care about anyone. Mostly, I had no idea who I was or what I was looking for and I have said it many a time on this blog that if you don’t know yourself you can’t really know anyone else. And I was so concerned about me and my own ego (Once again, get a few drinks in me and I open up like a Thai hooker during shore leave) that I really WAS too self-absorbed to care about being hurt which was actually awesome because those times were FUCKED UP and had I not been so selfish I may have ended up being an emo punk bitch:
…more than I am now. So this phrase WAS true at the time. Oh, FUCK YOU BITCH! Yeah, I said it.
Why Do You Try So Hard To Be Liked?
Like I said total opposite of the first statement but very true. I always said that no one will ever love me for me so might as well just be what they want me to be because it’s easier to make friends that way. YES I KNOW THAT IS FUCKING SAD BUT BEAR WITH ME! We WILL make it to the fireworks factory. After a while I realized that I spread myself thin taking time out to interact with people I didn’t really have anything in common with or even feel like offered me anything in return. Hence a lot of burnt cycles. Ouch.
You’re Unfunny.
First off, I may not be a grammar king but I didn’t know “unfunny” was a word. It must be because she said it but at the same time…I AM FUCKING HILARIOUS! As a matter of fact, I am willing to say this with complete confidence:
I AM FUNNIER THAN JESUS
There, I said it. Take THAT bitch! I am funnier than the son of GOD! Mostly because it’s hard to tell jokes when you can’t hold a microphone. ZING! I AM ON IT LIKE PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY ON A WHOLE WHEAT ROLL! Sorry, Grizzle…I had to.
You Don’t Listen To Me.
Well when I have heard this it was usually because of these three things:
1. I don’t care
2. You aren’t saying anything relevant
3. Rain Is on
AND RAIN HOLDS PRECEDENT! Honestly, I hate it when anyone says that to me because I am always listening to anything that anyone says no matter how irrelevant or annoying. You know who you are and yes I am talking to you. Now I cannot defend myself on this one from the standpoint of those who have said it (Well…two but that is two too many IMHO) I can say that listening is hard for someone when the person speaking wont say anything relevant. I know that that sounds mean but at the end of the day, I am solutions oriented. I thought about it and both people in question would say things like “I just wanted to vent” and that is fine for catharsis but if it’s the same thing…over and over again…with no process to CHANGE THE SITUATION SO YOU WON’T BITCH ABOUT IT…then no I won’t listen because I am sick of listening to it. Sorry, that’s just how I think. Don’t come to me with a problem without a solution because then you are just complaining. If you need to vent that is fine but you better get over that shit once you do because if you bring it to me again…
RKO, BITCHES! Randy Orton = WIN.
Oh, there are so many more but I am on the tired end so I am about to head out. Stay up, peeps.
Chachi Out
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
Some Days I Just Wonder How I Can Be This Damn Awesome.
What is up, peeps?! I have been gone again and I AM SORRY! Having breakthroughs take time! Yep, thanks to two friends, Boddintons and Guiness I learned that sometimes you have to think like the Road Warrior:
The gas isn’t worth it…just walk away. Which I am and I have to say I feel a lot better for it. Thanks, peeps. You know who you are and yes, I am really that fucking nuts. It made for good entertainment though and great therapy.
So I will be 30 in officially thirty-one days and I must say that I am not as vexxed about it as was about three months ago. Those in the know understand why (Identity crisis already? I LIVEZ IT!) and I want to first say thank you for being there for me in my time of utter and complete dipshittery. Also, I want to thank you for not stabbing me in the head for what seemed like not listening to your sound…and correct…advice. I WAS listening but I am kind of a dumbass. Speaking of being a dumbass, I realized that I have a couple of phrases that I say that are rather telling about who I am. Most of these came out on a Sunday night drinkfest (Good times were had by all!) but the best ideas come inebriated.
Quote #1: My Life Is An Epic Adventure…That Should be Lived By No One
HAHAHAHAHAHA….HA…ha…ha…ouch. Shit that one stings. At the same time I must say had I NOT lived what I had I wouldn’t be the lovable so-and-so I am today. Wait…AW, FUCK!
Quote #2: I Do Things and I Do Them Well. Whether You Like It I Don't Know and I Don't Care.
This has been said to pretty much all of my bosses and every woman I have ever met that I dealt with over the last five years. Explains a lot why I am single and have had authority issues at work. Hey, I’m not proud of my faults but at least I admit them. Although I wont stop them because I’M NOT A QUITTER!
Quote #3: Recent Events Have Shown That You CAN NOT Be Trusted So Yeah…Tracking Device.
Now this quote has nothing to do with nothing but at the same time…I hate you, Griff. Albeit from a nocturnal state this so rings true. And yet…I don’t give a shit because I AM AWESOME AND MY MOM SAYS I’M A CATCH! So fuck you, fucky!
Quote #4: Truth And Honesty Are All Lies. All That Matters Is Confidence.
So I just made this one up. It’s what a keyboard and a lack of sleep can do for you. Add in some spirits and this is about to get good. I am a firm believer in the fact that it doesn’t matter what you say or how you say it, it’s all about can you make others BELIEVE what you say. Remember, you can’t spell believe without lie. Holy shit….
I don’t know if I stole that from somewhere but if I didn’t YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST! That is some deep stuff right there. Hell that statement is so true I cant even go into how many times that has been proven true TODAY in just walking around and seeing shit. We all have someone from who we totally believed the lies and you know what? It was our own fool fault. Yet, that statement reeks of so much awesomeness I may have to put that on a shirt.
So on another note, I think it may be time to kick it a bit old school. This blog was from last year about this time and it gave me some good lol’s re-reading it and I hope you feel the same. If not…fuck you and go look at Concrete Loop or something.
Chachi’s Shit That Don’t Make Right Good Sense!
Can A Nigga Eat?
So I for one was glad to see Mike Vick get out of jail. I feel his punishment was too severe for the crimes committed but it is the law and that was the punishment. You can say what you will about my views and I will say to you: eat a dick. So he gets out of jail and people have the all out NERVE to say “he should be banned from football!” to which I say…really? Understand something here; I love dogs. I have had the same dog since Kool and the Gang was running around (Not really, but Shaolin is one old dog) and I would never make him fight other dogs for money because I know he would lose. He aint the toughest dog out there. The simple fact is that Mike Vick was just a small business owner that happened to break several laws and statues in the state of Virginia in regards to taking underprivileged and disenfranchised dogs off the street and putting them in an environment that they could earn college credit by…killing each other. Isn’t that the American dream? That and being the greatest professional wrestler of all time?
Okay, that’s just me. Either way, he fucked up. LEGALLY. Fuck your morals and your beliefs on animal rights because they don’t mean shit to me. He broke the law, he was punished and his debt to society has been paid. THE END. It should be up to the discretion of the NFL, the players union and the Pound Puppies on whether Vick should play again. The only thing PETA should be allowed to do is die because I hate them with a passion. I will sodomize a baby seal if it makes one member cry and those are drastic measures but I don’t like fuckwits.
The part that pisses me off the most is the fact that people ignore all the shit others have done but focus on Vick like he has done something worse than others. The Hall of Fame is full of wife beaters, child piledrivers, racists and even murders and no one says shit. Didn’t Ray Lewis stab a nigga DURING SUPER BOWL WEEKEND and he was named Super Bowl MVP? Didn’t Kobe Bryant have butt sex with a White woman (Every man’s dream, don’t you dare lie. It’s great!) and he got away with it? Weren’t Brett Farve and John Daly admitted alcoholics that nearly pissed away their careers? These were things that had NOTHING to do with the game. There wasn’t nary a dog on the field during those Atlanta Falcons games. What happened to those dogs…to me PERSONALLY…wasn’t tragic or wrong. It was illegal and he went to jail for it. That should be it, his time has been served, let this man live his life and leave the decision of whether he plays up to the league.
Women + Technology = NO
You know…I don’t even know what to think anymore. How can we vote for a woman president if they don’t understand THE BASICS? Now if you have ever read ANYTHING I have blogged then you know how I feel about women and technology. I am a firm believer in that if someone violates your privacy by taking pictures of you without your knowledge then that is messed up and you have all reason to be upset. However if you take naked pictures OF YOURSELF on a medium that is easily hacked and then get upset or in an uproar about when they are leaked…well you are on your own, buddy. This proves the Zebra Theory to a fact. Let’s takethis theory to Vanessa Hudgens
A few years ago (Hell, it may have been last year) she got caught in an issue about nude photos of her that were all over the interweb. Now no one knows how they got there, but they did. And everyone was all about the violation of her privacy. To a degree I have to agree but there comes a point where one has to say “You know…people out there have gotten my pictures once so maybe I SHOULD STOP DOING THIS!” Now every female says “It should be my right to take pictures of whatever I want on my phone and not have to worry about it being hacked!” and to that I say if I had wheels, I’d be a wagon. The facts are that people DO hack cell phones and even worse if you send them to your boyfriend and you break up…what the fuck where you thinking in the first place? Seriously? Naked pictures? You really expect them not to go anywhere? Gawd, you must be fucking dense.
Chris Brown and Rihanna….You Know What? Fuck It.
I am so sick of this crap. Not those two, they are just dumb kids doing dumb things. It’s with the people saying “How can she be so stupid?!” and calling Chris Brown a monster. First off, Chris Brown is about as tough as Snagglepuss and twice as queer. Secondly, and follow me on this one because I am going to move fast on this, it is Rihanna’s fault anyway. Now before you all sit back and say “OMG! You support domestic violence?!” I first must say I support punching people in the grill piece that act a fucking fool. Now with THAT being said I am not talking about the supposed ass-whoopin Rihanna got. I am talking about the fact that she could end this bullshit quickly by saying either she is or isn’t interested. By doing that, she creates closure on the subject so everyone can move on to lusting over Megan Fox or whatever. Instead, all she does is leave the door open and does random weirdness like she wants him back. Which is fine, but do understand that people are going to call you a dumbass for trying to stay with him even though he have you the Chris Brown Stunner:
Oddly enough, I am sure this is exactly how it went down. Minus the kick ass music, odds are “Kiss, Kiss” was playing. Either way, both are doing this for the publicity and forgetting the fact that women everywhere are learning that it is okay to go back to a man that kicks your ass in public as long as he can dance. See: Bobby Brown and James Brown. And Chris Brown? What is up with dudes with the last name Brown smacking up on women? I may have just created science, fool!
Okay well I am out for now. I am tired and I need a bottle. Of you know what…
Oh soju, you totally understand me. I will be back up soon, peeps.
Chachi Out
The gas isn’t worth it…just walk away. Which I am and I have to say I feel a lot better for it. Thanks, peeps. You know who you are and yes, I am really that fucking nuts. It made for good entertainment though and great therapy.
So I will be 30 in officially thirty-one days and I must say that I am not as vexxed about it as was about three months ago. Those in the know understand why (Identity crisis already? I LIVEZ IT!) and I want to first say thank you for being there for me in my time of utter and complete dipshittery. Also, I want to thank you for not stabbing me in the head for what seemed like not listening to your sound…and correct…advice. I WAS listening but I am kind of a dumbass. Speaking of being a dumbass, I realized that I have a couple of phrases that I say that are rather telling about who I am. Most of these came out on a Sunday night drinkfest (Good times were had by all!) but the best ideas come inebriated.
Quote #1: My Life Is An Epic Adventure…That Should be Lived By No One
HAHAHAHAHAHA….HA…ha…ha…ouch. Shit that one stings. At the same time I must say had I NOT lived what I had I wouldn’t be the lovable so-and-so I am today. Wait…AW, FUCK!
Quote #2: I Do Things and I Do Them Well. Whether You Like It I Don't Know and I Don't Care.
This has been said to pretty much all of my bosses and every woman I have ever met that I dealt with over the last five years. Explains a lot why I am single and have had authority issues at work. Hey, I’m not proud of my faults but at least I admit them. Although I wont stop them because I’M NOT A QUITTER!
Quote #3: Recent Events Have Shown That You CAN NOT Be Trusted So Yeah…Tracking Device.
Now this quote has nothing to do with nothing but at the same time…I hate you, Griff. Albeit from a nocturnal state this so rings true. And yet…I don’t give a shit because I AM AWESOME AND MY MOM SAYS I’M A CATCH! So fuck you, fucky!
Quote #4: Truth And Honesty Are All Lies. All That Matters Is Confidence.
So I just made this one up. It’s what a keyboard and a lack of sleep can do for you. Add in some spirits and this is about to get good. I am a firm believer in the fact that it doesn’t matter what you say or how you say it, it’s all about can you make others BELIEVE what you say. Remember, you can’t spell believe without lie. Holy shit….
I don’t know if I stole that from somewhere but if I didn’t YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST! That is some deep stuff right there. Hell that statement is so true I cant even go into how many times that has been proven true TODAY in just walking around and seeing shit. We all have someone from who we totally believed the lies and you know what? It was our own fool fault. Yet, that statement reeks of so much awesomeness I may have to put that on a shirt.
So on another note, I think it may be time to kick it a bit old school. This blog was from last year about this time and it gave me some good lol’s re-reading it and I hope you feel the same. If not…fuck you and go look at Concrete Loop or something.
Chachi’s Shit That Don’t Make Right Good Sense!
Can A Nigga Eat?
So I for one was glad to see Mike Vick get out of jail. I feel his punishment was too severe for the crimes committed but it is the law and that was the punishment. You can say what you will about my views and I will say to you: eat a dick. So he gets out of jail and people have the all out NERVE to say “he should be banned from football!” to which I say…really? Understand something here; I love dogs. I have had the same dog since Kool and the Gang was running around (Not really, but Shaolin is one old dog) and I would never make him fight other dogs for money because I know he would lose. He aint the toughest dog out there. The simple fact is that Mike Vick was just a small business owner that happened to break several laws and statues in the state of Virginia in regards to taking underprivileged and disenfranchised dogs off the street and putting them in an environment that they could earn college credit by…killing each other. Isn’t that the American dream? That and being the greatest professional wrestler of all time?
Okay, that’s just me. Either way, he fucked up. LEGALLY. Fuck your morals and your beliefs on animal rights because they don’t mean shit to me. He broke the law, he was punished and his debt to society has been paid. THE END. It should be up to the discretion of the NFL, the players union and the Pound Puppies on whether Vick should play again. The only thing PETA should be allowed to do is die because I hate them with a passion. I will sodomize a baby seal if it makes one member cry and those are drastic measures but I don’t like fuckwits.
The part that pisses me off the most is the fact that people ignore all the shit others have done but focus on Vick like he has done something worse than others. The Hall of Fame is full of wife beaters, child piledrivers, racists and even murders and no one says shit. Didn’t Ray Lewis stab a nigga DURING SUPER BOWL WEEKEND and he was named Super Bowl MVP? Didn’t Kobe Bryant have butt sex with a White woman (Every man’s dream, don’t you dare lie. It’s great!) and he got away with it? Weren’t Brett Farve and John Daly admitted alcoholics that nearly pissed away their careers? These were things that had NOTHING to do with the game. There wasn’t nary a dog on the field during those Atlanta Falcons games. What happened to those dogs…to me PERSONALLY…wasn’t tragic or wrong. It was illegal and he went to jail for it. That should be it, his time has been served, let this man live his life and leave the decision of whether he plays up to the league.
Women + Technology = NO
You know…I don’t even know what to think anymore. How can we vote for a woman president if they don’t understand THE BASICS? Now if you have ever read ANYTHING I have blogged then you know how I feel about women and technology. I am a firm believer in that if someone violates your privacy by taking pictures of you without your knowledge then that is messed up and you have all reason to be upset. However if you take naked pictures OF YOURSELF on a medium that is easily hacked and then get upset or in an uproar about when they are leaked…well you are on your own, buddy. This proves the Zebra Theory to a fact. Let’s takethis theory to Vanessa Hudgens
A few years ago (Hell, it may have been last year) she got caught in an issue about nude photos of her that were all over the interweb. Now no one knows how they got there, but they did. And everyone was all about the violation of her privacy. To a degree I have to agree but there comes a point where one has to say “You know…people out there have gotten my pictures once so maybe I SHOULD STOP DOING THIS!” Now every female says “It should be my right to take pictures of whatever I want on my phone and not have to worry about it being hacked!” and to that I say if I had wheels, I’d be a wagon. The facts are that people DO hack cell phones and even worse if you send them to your boyfriend and you break up…what the fuck where you thinking in the first place? Seriously? Naked pictures? You really expect them not to go anywhere? Gawd, you must be fucking dense.
Chris Brown and Rihanna….You Know What? Fuck It.
I am so sick of this crap. Not those two, they are just dumb kids doing dumb things. It’s with the people saying “How can she be so stupid?!” and calling Chris Brown a monster. First off, Chris Brown is about as tough as Snagglepuss and twice as queer. Secondly, and follow me on this one because I am going to move fast on this, it is Rihanna’s fault anyway. Now before you all sit back and say “OMG! You support domestic violence?!” I first must say I support punching people in the grill piece that act a fucking fool. Now with THAT being said I am not talking about the supposed ass-whoopin Rihanna got. I am talking about the fact that she could end this bullshit quickly by saying either she is or isn’t interested. By doing that, she creates closure on the subject so everyone can move on to lusting over Megan Fox or whatever. Instead, all she does is leave the door open and does random weirdness like she wants him back. Which is fine, but do understand that people are going to call you a dumbass for trying to stay with him even though he have you the Chris Brown Stunner:
Oddly enough, I am sure this is exactly how it went down. Minus the kick ass music, odds are “Kiss, Kiss” was playing. Either way, both are doing this for the publicity and forgetting the fact that women everywhere are learning that it is okay to go back to a man that kicks your ass in public as long as he can dance. See: Bobby Brown and James Brown. And Chris Brown? What is up with dudes with the last name Brown smacking up on women? I may have just created science, fool!
Okay well I am out for now. I am tired and I need a bottle. Of you know what…
Oh soju, you totally understand me. I will be back up soon, peeps.
Chachi Out
Monday, August 09, 2010
When Shit Hits The Fan...You Step Out Of The Way Of The Fan. MESSAGE!!
Well it has been a week since I last blogged and man life has been rather special in that timeframe. I really needed someone to talk to, so I took some time out and I talked to my psychiatrist Dr. Deuce and he gave me some really sound advice. Man, the dude is a genius. A drunken, hateful genius that I pay $75 an hour to but man he does good work!
I’m alive again
More alive than I have been in my whole entire life
I can see these people’s ears perk up as I begin
To spaz with the pen, I’m a little bit sicker than most
Shit’s finna get thick again
They say the competition is stiff
But I get a hard dick from this shit, now stick it in
I ain’t never giving in again
caution to the wind, complete freedom
Look at these rappers, how I treat them
So why the fuck would I join them when I beat them
They call me a freak because
I like to spit on these p-ssies fore I eat them
Eminem – No Love
First things first: I poppa freaks all the honeys. HELLS YEAH GRIZZLE!
Sorry, it’s a thing I do. So I have been thinking about that line for about two days now and I am realizing something: living your life can be hard as shit. Man, when you do it is a great feeling. Now don’t get me wrong, I still have my issues and I take myself to task about them whenever I can (Which other people don’t do but hey, who am I to judge those that aint trying to advance. Shits over now, take it like a man). Dr. Deuce on the other hand runs under the Ken Titus Theory of “STOP BEING A WUSSY!” which actually works a hell of a lot better. If something is dragging you down either you go down with the ship or you hop off and save your sanity. Or…you can blow that bitch up, set fire to the other survivors and then go and blow up the company that made the fucking ship. Guess which one I’m going to do. Ah, peeps you know me all too well. It is about that time….take it away, Dr. Deuce!
Dr. Deuce’s Help Corner: Get Off Your Cross, Build A Bridge and Get Over It.
Then I Will Proceed To OBLITERATE That Bridge Because I Don’t Need The Baggage! Yep, you know this is going to be good. Welcome to the session, peeps. Now, let me begin this session by saying I couldn’t give a FUCK about your feelings. This is for your own fool good and if you don’t like it, eat a bag of dicks with a side of piss is a cold glass.
No One Owes You A God Damn Thing.
Understand something about life, no one is owed anything. You can spend all day saying “Man, that motherfucker owes me $10!” but that doesn’t mean you will get that shit. From explanations to apologies the only thing you are owed in life is the gift of living it. If you spend your time obsessing about yourself and why people are doing things to you then you are acting like a fucking victim when in reality you are a bitch nigga. There are two people in this world that are non-gratis and need to be shot on sight:
1. Bitch Niggas
2. Bitch ASS Niggas
If you are going out of your way to get sympathy for shit that is quite simply not that serious then you are a bitch ass nigga and most importanty:
Couldn’t have said it better myself, Riley. Nigga, you gay.
If You Have An Open Relationship, YOU HAVE NO RELATIONSHIP.
Okay, this has been a source of debate between patients and myself and I just you to remember that I’m the doctor. So take two shut-the-fuck-ups and SHUT THE FUCK UP. The thought of an open relationship seems like the best of both worlds but honestly, let’s look at a simple analogy.
A football player signs a contract with a team. Then after signing after a few months he says “Hey, I have been thinking and I want to run some trick plays for another team. In the same division. Your biggest rival.” What would you say? Hells-the-fuck-naw, right? Exactly.
The concept of an open-relationship is based off of the fact that there is something there that you are not getting from the party you are with that you are seeking from someone else. Now a LOGICAL human being would say “Hey, this person isn’t fulfilling all I am looking for in a significant other so either we will talk about what is/isn’t working and try to come to a consensus or we will part.” Sounds like some adult shit, right? Now a dysfunction set of bitch ass niggas will say “I don’t want to be with this person but I am to scared/crazy/lazy to leave so I will say we should have an open-relationship so I can fuck who I want and fill my tank at the Citgo for free!” Oops, you fucked up. You are doomed to dysfunction.
I cannot tell anyone what to do or how to do it. Just be forewarned, just because you live your life one way doesn’t mean others have to be around while you do your dip-shittery. Remember, you can only help those that want to be helped. If they are fine in their little make-believe world of snap-dragons and lollipops then let them stay there. Doesn’t mean you have to go along for the ride and if you do GET THE FUCK OUT FAST! That is a ship you don’t want to be on when it goes down. In the famous words of 1944 Dr. Tran…”Don’t I know it”
Sometimes It’s Better To Be The Bad Guy Than The Nice Guy
That one is for you, C-Money. One thing I have noticed is that we live in a society where no one wants to take a look in the mirror and say “what is it about me that is causing this to happen” because people are SO CONVINCED that it’s not their fault. Now I am not a blame person by any means, I am a responsibility person first and foremost. So if you are having the same thing happen to you then maybe it is time to come to grips and take a long look at yourself. I for one believe that if you aren’t doing something once a day to attempt to better yourself then you are wasting your time living and you should kill yourself and give that life to John Ritter or Pimp C (SWEET JONES!) you know…someone that fucking deserves it.
I am letting you true believers know first and foremost you need to do what is best for you. Fuck the world if they can’t adjust. Whether it be emotionally, physically or logically you have to focus on your star player, which is you. Katt Williams said it best, there is always going to be SOMEBODY mad at you:
But in the end you HAVE to focus on what makes YOU better and is best for YOUR sanity. If people don’t like it and they hate….
FUCK THEM IN THEIR HATIN ASS FACES!
Nothing worse than a fucking hater. If you are trying to do better and all they can think of is themselves and how it is effect THEM and THEIR friendship….
FUCK THEM IN THEIR HATIN ASS FACES!
Man, I could see that be an anthem in the club if I get Lil Jon on the hook. Dr. Deuce and Lil’ Jon coming soon! You know what else? There is something that needs to be said about dysfunctional people: they mistake hate with apathy. You see, when you are looking to get better, a hater loves nothing more than to try to bring you down with them because they hate to see people be happy because they aren’t. Don’t deny it! It’s been proven by science! So when you do what you do and others want you to do what they do, they hate when you don’t because you aren’t with them and they don’t want to go where you are. Which is fine, let them do their thing. You have to be prepared when you do and move on because they are going to take it personally because with haters, it’s all about them. It aint NEVER about you, it’s about them and how everything effects them and you are the bad one because you are looking out for your superstar and not them. Being the bad guy hurts but you can’t let that bring you down. You are looking out for your superstar and not the role players. Your real team is down and that is all that matters so…
FUCK THEM IN THEIR HATIN ASS FACES!
Lil Jon, you need to do a new damn album.
Live Like Diddy: DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT TO!
As many of you know, Diddy is one of my most famous clients. He used to be downtrodden after the loss of his friend (He wrote a song about it. Well, The Police wrote a song about it but he takes hits from the 80’s and makes it sound so crazy) and all the haters on him about his shiny suits and lavish lifestyle, he hit a major funk. I mean, he signed LOON for Christ sake. That dude SUCKS. Then Diddy and I met and discussed his life and problems over pandas milk while racing on lions in Constantinople. Diddy calls it Constantinople, it’s fucking called Constantinople. You know what I told him to do?
Live Like Diddy
At first he was confused but I heard from a friend a long time ago that you have to live YOUR live. Living is hard because you want to do for everyone else but if you aren’t living for you….who and what are you living for? Finally after a game of tiddlywinks with several naked women while eating dodo bird egg omelets he realized what I meant. Now look at him:
He don’t give a fuck about you or what you think about him. SHINY SUIT MAN IS FUCKING BACK! I mean now he is courting Rick Ross but you can’t win them all. Ery’day he hustling! So I know all of you cannot ball out of control like Diddy but at LEAST you can live your life to the fullest. In other words DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT TO! You don’t owe anyone any explanations or apologies. Well, make sure the shit is legal because you don’t have a team of lawyers like Diddy…just ask Shyne. BAM! But do what you want and if people want to be all butt-hurt about that shit then they can pound sand. Live like Diddy, peeps. It’s all he asks of you.
Well, that is enough for the Dr. Deuce session for today. Much like ninjas, Black Dynamite and Popeye I show up when I am needed. Take care and remember….Live Like Diddy.
Wow…you gotta love Dr. Deuce. He may be back to kick more of the truth to the young Black youth so stay tuned. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
I’m alive again
More alive than I have been in my whole entire life
I can see these people’s ears perk up as I begin
To spaz with the pen, I’m a little bit sicker than most
Shit’s finna get thick again
They say the competition is stiff
But I get a hard dick from this shit, now stick it in
I ain’t never giving in again
caution to the wind, complete freedom
Look at these rappers, how I treat them
So why the fuck would I join them when I beat them
They call me a freak because
I like to spit on these p-ssies fore I eat them
Eminem – No Love
First things first: I poppa freaks all the honeys. HELLS YEAH GRIZZLE!
Sorry, it’s a thing I do. So I have been thinking about that line for about two days now and I am realizing something: living your life can be hard as shit. Man, when you do it is a great feeling. Now don’t get me wrong, I still have my issues and I take myself to task about them whenever I can (Which other people don’t do but hey, who am I to judge those that aint trying to advance. Shits over now, take it like a man). Dr. Deuce on the other hand runs under the Ken Titus Theory of “STOP BEING A WUSSY!” which actually works a hell of a lot better. If something is dragging you down either you go down with the ship or you hop off and save your sanity. Or…you can blow that bitch up, set fire to the other survivors and then go and blow up the company that made the fucking ship. Guess which one I’m going to do. Ah, peeps you know me all too well. It is about that time….take it away, Dr. Deuce!
Dr. Deuce’s Help Corner: Get Off Your Cross, Build A Bridge and Get Over It.
Then I Will Proceed To OBLITERATE That Bridge Because I Don’t Need The Baggage! Yep, you know this is going to be good. Welcome to the session, peeps. Now, let me begin this session by saying I couldn’t give a FUCK about your feelings. This is for your own fool good and if you don’t like it, eat a bag of dicks with a side of piss is a cold glass.
No One Owes You A God Damn Thing.
Understand something about life, no one is owed anything. You can spend all day saying “Man, that motherfucker owes me $10!” but that doesn’t mean you will get that shit. From explanations to apologies the only thing you are owed in life is the gift of living it. If you spend your time obsessing about yourself and why people are doing things to you then you are acting like a fucking victim when in reality you are a bitch nigga. There are two people in this world that are non-gratis and need to be shot on sight:
1. Bitch Niggas
2. Bitch ASS Niggas
If you are going out of your way to get sympathy for shit that is quite simply not that serious then you are a bitch ass nigga and most importanty:
Couldn’t have said it better myself, Riley. Nigga, you gay.
If You Have An Open Relationship, YOU HAVE NO RELATIONSHIP.
Okay, this has been a source of debate between patients and myself and I just you to remember that I’m the doctor. So take two shut-the-fuck-ups and SHUT THE FUCK UP. The thought of an open relationship seems like the best of both worlds but honestly, let’s look at a simple analogy.
A football player signs a contract with a team. Then after signing after a few months he says “Hey, I have been thinking and I want to run some trick plays for another team. In the same division. Your biggest rival.” What would you say? Hells-the-fuck-naw, right? Exactly.
The concept of an open-relationship is based off of the fact that there is something there that you are not getting from the party you are with that you are seeking from someone else. Now a LOGICAL human being would say “Hey, this person isn’t fulfilling all I am looking for in a significant other so either we will talk about what is/isn’t working and try to come to a consensus or we will part.” Sounds like some adult shit, right? Now a dysfunction set of bitch ass niggas will say “I don’t want to be with this person but I am to scared/crazy/lazy to leave so I will say we should have an open-relationship so I can fuck who I want and fill my tank at the Citgo for free!” Oops, you fucked up. You are doomed to dysfunction.
I cannot tell anyone what to do or how to do it. Just be forewarned, just because you live your life one way doesn’t mean others have to be around while you do your dip-shittery. Remember, you can only help those that want to be helped. If they are fine in their little make-believe world of snap-dragons and lollipops then let them stay there. Doesn’t mean you have to go along for the ride and if you do GET THE FUCK OUT FAST! That is a ship you don’t want to be on when it goes down. In the famous words of 1944 Dr. Tran…”Don’t I know it”
Sometimes It’s Better To Be The Bad Guy Than The Nice Guy
That one is for you, C-Money. One thing I have noticed is that we live in a society where no one wants to take a look in the mirror and say “what is it about me that is causing this to happen” because people are SO CONVINCED that it’s not their fault. Now I am not a blame person by any means, I am a responsibility person first and foremost. So if you are having the same thing happen to you then maybe it is time to come to grips and take a long look at yourself. I for one believe that if you aren’t doing something once a day to attempt to better yourself then you are wasting your time living and you should kill yourself and give that life to John Ritter or Pimp C (SWEET JONES!) you know…someone that fucking deserves it.
I am letting you true believers know first and foremost you need to do what is best for you. Fuck the world if they can’t adjust. Whether it be emotionally, physically or logically you have to focus on your star player, which is you. Katt Williams said it best, there is always going to be SOMEBODY mad at you:
But in the end you HAVE to focus on what makes YOU better and is best for YOUR sanity. If people don’t like it and they hate….
FUCK THEM IN THEIR HATIN ASS FACES!
Nothing worse than a fucking hater. If you are trying to do better and all they can think of is themselves and how it is effect THEM and THEIR friendship….
FUCK THEM IN THEIR HATIN ASS FACES!
Man, I could see that be an anthem in the club if I get Lil Jon on the hook. Dr. Deuce and Lil’ Jon coming soon! You know what else? There is something that needs to be said about dysfunctional people: they mistake hate with apathy. You see, when you are looking to get better, a hater loves nothing more than to try to bring you down with them because they hate to see people be happy because they aren’t. Don’t deny it! It’s been proven by science! So when you do what you do and others want you to do what they do, they hate when you don’t because you aren’t with them and they don’t want to go where you are. Which is fine, let them do their thing. You have to be prepared when you do and move on because they are going to take it personally because with haters, it’s all about them. It aint NEVER about you, it’s about them and how everything effects them and you are the bad one because you are looking out for your superstar and not them. Being the bad guy hurts but you can’t let that bring you down. You are looking out for your superstar and not the role players. Your real team is down and that is all that matters so…
FUCK THEM IN THEIR HATIN ASS FACES!
Lil Jon, you need to do a new damn album.
Live Like Diddy: DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT TO!
As many of you know, Diddy is one of my most famous clients. He used to be downtrodden after the loss of his friend (He wrote a song about it. Well, The Police wrote a song about it but he takes hits from the 80’s and makes it sound so crazy) and all the haters on him about his shiny suits and lavish lifestyle, he hit a major funk. I mean, he signed LOON for Christ sake. That dude SUCKS. Then Diddy and I met and discussed his life and problems over pandas milk while racing on lions in Constantinople. Diddy calls it Constantinople, it’s fucking called Constantinople. You know what I told him to do?
Live Like Diddy
At first he was confused but I heard from a friend a long time ago that you have to live YOUR live. Living is hard because you want to do for everyone else but if you aren’t living for you….who and what are you living for? Finally after a game of tiddlywinks with several naked women while eating dodo bird egg omelets he realized what I meant. Now look at him:
He don’t give a fuck about you or what you think about him. SHINY SUIT MAN IS FUCKING BACK! I mean now he is courting Rick Ross but you can’t win them all. Ery’day he hustling! So I know all of you cannot ball out of control like Diddy but at LEAST you can live your life to the fullest. In other words DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT TO! You don’t owe anyone any explanations or apologies. Well, make sure the shit is legal because you don’t have a team of lawyers like Diddy…just ask Shyne. BAM! But do what you want and if people want to be all butt-hurt about that shit then they can pound sand. Live like Diddy, peeps. It’s all he asks of you.
Well, that is enough for the Dr. Deuce session for today. Much like ninjas, Black Dynamite and Popeye I show up when I am needed. Take care and remember….Live Like Diddy.
Wow…you gotta love Dr. Deuce. He may be back to kick more of the truth to the young Black youth so stay tuned. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
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