Okay, I am back up again. It is bedtime (Seeing as how I have been getting to sleep at 2am despite having to be in Denver by 8am everyday this week) so there are a few things I need to get off my chest and then I am out.
Pissed Off Point #1: Yeah, I Want A Margarita, Not Your Panties. Thaaaaaaaaanks….Dumb Bitch.
Okay, I would like to think that I don’t just exude “Can I Get Some!” whenever I speak to females. I mean, I treat them with more respect than I treat the Irish (If you are a female and Irish, you are getting slapped. You are used to it anyway. ZING! I kid, I kid) which is pretty well by my standards. However, it has seemed over the last I would say three years or so (Pretty much once I hit 25) that whenever I am talking about anything….EVER….with a female she has to bring up her boyfriend/husband/significant other. Which is cool, if it is IN CONTEXT. I used the title for this post because a few days ago when I went out to lunch with a friend of mine (Well, KIND OF FRIEND. She is more like a non-enemy), this is how the conversation went:
Waitress: Welcome to On The Border! Can I start you two off with a drink?
Friend: Oh, I’m not sure. Will, you pick.
Me: Yeah….two Borderitas (Is that REALLY THE FUCKING NAME?!) with a shot of Grand Mariner should do it.
Waitress: Cool, my boyfriend LOVES those!
O_o
WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?
Now if it was because I was with a female I will let that slide. We aren’t dating (Yeah, I’m sure her husband would kill me since we have been down since the Wu-Tang Clan was protecting their necks) but that could be misconstrued so I can understand that but it really isn’t in context and even though I am not against it, for some it could be inappropriate. Like when I went to see “White Christmas” last year. That was interesting seeing as how I AM NOT R-FUCKING-KELLY! It wasn’t like that but it was to be expected no matter how much it pissed us off. That’s life.
However, this happens all the time. I mean just at random. It has happened to me at (In the last two months):
1. Borders
2. Barnes & Nobel
3. Verizon Wireless Store
4. Hot Topic (Which means he was emo which is worthy of killing)
5. AI
6. Entertainmart
7. THE LIQUOR STORE! (I wants my soju, not your insight. Although the cucumber and soju advice was DY-NO-MITE!)
Now these are all random ass places and yet it is happening more often than not. Now I understand if situations may make them nervous and they blurt things out. Hell, I have been a victim of that as well (Ask any woman I have ever took out anywhere. I am kind of an uber-spazz) but I mean it is starting to hurt my feelings now. I mean do I just come off as that much of a douche? I mean I know I can come off as a condescending asshole (To which I say I have had some of the same friends for 10 years plus and none of them say I am condescending so the problem is with you, bitches. You bitches know who you are) but if you do then you are a dumb bitch that doesn’t get my humor or you are a dude that thinks I am smarty-art-nigga because I AM smarter than you and I say the exact same thing to you that Juelz Santana says: don’t watch me, watch TV.
Not sure what that means, but that is one helluva track. Anyway, long story short is knowing about your boyfriend is fine, but not when I want to know about the pros and cons of a Roth IRA. I don’t care if he has one, I am all about my money anyway.
Pissed Off Point #2: How Can Two Jews Raping Harrison Ford NOT Be Funny?
Is George Lucas Jewish? I think so….either way, I saw the season premiere of South Park on Wednesday and first off all I have to say is EPIC! The Cartman vs. the Chinese b-Story was kind of weak but let’s face it: if you liked “Indiana Jones & The Fucked Up Alien Bullshit Dome Piece” then you are in denial. You are blaming yourself for what happened but you didn’t ask for it. George Lucas and Steven Spielberg stole something from you. They violated you in your most personal of places: your childhood. Yes, I said it the day I went to see the movie in the theater (Although I was pretty sake boozed up for the first 10 minutes or so. Remember that, Hoag…because I kind of don’t) and I am saying it now after you have all seen the evidence in poorly animate form. All the people that saw Indiana Jones 4 had their childhoods raped. Yes, raped.
Now I used to think rape was funny. I laughed about Bro Rape just like all of you:
Or at least laughed if you knew funny. Now, rape isn’t as funny now. I loved Indiana Jones! He shot Arabs and melted Nazis! You don’t get any more bad ass than that! But we all sat back and let our childhood memories of one of the greatest action stars not named Jack Burton get cornholed by The Great Movie Sodomizers.” They were arrested on the show, but in the real world these men need to pay for their crimes! Rape is neither fair nor glamorous. It can be funny, but not when performed on an icon on a pinball machine. Before you say “Why was it okay for Jodie Foster but not for Harrison Ford” understand that Harrison Ford was ALSO president and has a Millineum Falcon in his garage (He got to keep that in the settlement) while Jodie Foster is an actress and an overrated one at that.
Well, enough for now. Chachi Video Awards Special Sunday Night (LATE Sunday night) so until then, stay tuned!
Chachi Out.
