You Know, I Learned Something ELSE Today...

Okay, pretty jacked up day today. I did take these gems away from it:

1) 'Throw Some Cheese' remix of 'Throw Some Ds' could be a Top Ten hit.
2) Griff needs to learn how to keep his fucking mouth shut. There are some things I have kept hidden for a decade, and he tried to ruin that shit. Good job, fucky.
3) Cosmix sucks. I mean seriously, they have been expanding that fucking highway since Wu Tang Clan was popular.
4) I get pwned at Tekken. Yeah, I am 'teh suck' and Griff schooled me....
5) ....BUT I WILL ROCK YOUR FACE IN MADDEN! Yeah, if it wasnt for a botched kick and DeAngelo Hall falling down I would have had a shut out. I had 500 yards of total offense from the FALCONS.
6) I am the TRIVIA MASTER. Bring it, I challenge anyone and will crush all comers. David Bowie may have been at the head of the craze, but I mastered it.
7) People are DISGUSTING. Someone left a stinky mud baby in the urinal at Dave & Busters. Just....fucking wrong.
8) Hello Kitty rules, fool! Used my 10 speed ticket fund to pick up a few Hellu Kitty things. Pez despenser. Does it GET any cooler?!
9) House of the Dead 4 is AWESOME. Yeah, aside from Griff using his grenade to kill ONE PERSON it was a kickass game. Except the ending sucked it dry.
10) I missed midgets. Dude...man...fuck. It could have been like a field goal extravaganza of kicked little people! SHIT!

Oh, and some dipfuck bumped my car in the parking lot. I wanted to take the beating stick to it, but then I'M at fault. Crazy world. Oh, and no more round-a-bouts in the CSP until you can make it through the first one. England can use them because they drive on the wrong side and are used to it. Trust me, it makes sense. Americans on the other hand are FUCKING STUPID and cant drive on an OVAL. Think about it.

Meh, I am off to play God of War II before bed. Be sure to vote in Douchebrawl! Polls close tonight!

Chachi Out.

Hmm. Well This Is Quite The Odd Moment.

What’s up, peeps! It is another Friday so you know what that means! Time for the…

CHACHI TOP 20 VIDEO COUNTDOWN!

And AWAY we go with a debut!

20. Namie Amuro – Funky Town (New Entry)

Well that didn’t take long. While the song isn’t as kick ass as ‘Baby Don’t Cry’ but the video has Namie in thigh highs and a skirt. Nuff said. Not only that, but funky fresh dance moves. Come on, people! That is really all a video needs to catch my attention. Welcome to the Countdown again!
19. Kumi Koda – Get Up & Move! (New Entry)

Kumiko is back, this time in clothed form! More than usual, anyway. This video has grown on me (mainly due to the myriad of live performance which made me give up my boycott on women) and that’s what gets it on this week. And actually, the song is rather catchy, too. I had ‘But’ up last week, but I like “Black Cherry’ and this song is G-R-O-O-V-Y. Welcome back to Miss Koda as well!
18. Yui – Rolling Star (Last Week #15, #1 for three weeks, Plunge of the Week)
It’s about time to say goodbye to the reigning queen of the Countdown of 2007. With Nelly Furtado out of the Countdown, Yui is the 2nd longest reigning video on here. With CHE.R.RY moving up things aint so bad, though.
17. Yuna Ito – I’m Here (Last Week #19)
Yummy. That is all. And I got her acoustic show from JPopsuki and hells yes. Her voice is just majestic. Yes, I said majestic. It is up there, odds are better than all the artists out there so far. You hear that Christina? And she didn’t have to wear hot pants to do it! Although…that wouldn’t be so bad. I’m just saying!
16. TERIYAKI BOYZ feat Kanye West – I Still Love H.E.R. (Last Week #13)
So M-Flo could set a little bit of history. Seeing as how he has been working with the FINE ASS Crystal Kay and it is hot on the heels of making it on the Countdown, M-Flo could be involved with FOUR videos on here. That would be a record for real! Looks like someone new is in the running for Artist of the Year!
15. K-OS – Sunday Morning (Last Week #17)

K-OS moves up two more spots this week with his first foray into the Countdown. Just got his album and it aint too shabby. A few too many samples, but aside from that it rocks the box. Oh, and guess what? Funky fresh prom dance moves in this one! Yeah, I didn’t go to my prom. Oy vey…I am so going to cry now…
14. May J feat. VERBAL – Here We Go (Last Week #11)
…May J knows how to cheer me up!  The longest running video on the Countdown so far is two weeks away from breaking UVERworld’s record for Shamrock! She already broke the record for being in the Top 10, all without reaching number one! Quite the accomplishment!
13. Monkey Majik feat m-flo – Picture Perfect (Last Week #14)
Monkey Majik is still going strong with this one, moving up one spot. Just got the M-Flo ‘Cosmicolor’ album (thank you again, Roxanne!) and got the record version. Quite different. I must say, I like the video version better. Even still, I am also tolerating the song with Seamo a little more. It may be on here because I dig classroom videos.
12. Evanescence – Lithium (Last Week #8)
Out of the Top 10 for Amy Lee. After falling short of the Top Spot yet again, Evanescence continues their downward swing.
11. Three Days Grace – Never Too Late (Last Week #16, Biggest Mover)
Don’t stop a rockin’! Three Days Grace is looking for their first Top 10 video! So anyone privy on when their new work comes out? I would figure it is about time and all.
10. Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend (Last Week #12)

Okay, I will get some shit for this. I don’t care, this song is groovy! I know Avril gets a bad rap from a lot (well, all of) you and its kind of unwarranted. Okay, her first album pissed me off to no end (although I liked I’m With You) but her second one was pretty good. So quit hating! Although I am pissed off about the manga, but at least I haven’t seen it anywhere.
9. Home Made Kazoku – Nagaraboshi ~Shooting Star~ (Last Week #10)
Home Made Kazoku moves up one spot this week! One of the better Naruto closing themes and actually a rather simple video. Good stuff for the fans out there.
8. UVERworld – Zero no Kotae (Last Week #9)
The ‘World moves up another spot this week, too. This video has found a groove with me. Now I like it because the video kicks ass, not just because it is UVERworld which used to be the case. Here is hoping for a video for ‘51%’ soon!
7. Namie Amuro – Baby Don’t Cry (Last Week #3, #1 for three weeks)
After dominating the Countdown for three weeks, Namie falls four more spots and out of the Top Five with this video. It’s all good, she has a new one on to make up for it. All is well.
6. Hinoi Team – Dancin’ and Dreamin’ (Last Week #6)
Dancin, dreamin and staying put at #6 for a second week. Hinoi Team is doing well with their first video if I say so myself. Even sadder is I know the majority of the dance moves to this video because I have seen it so many times. Yet, funky fresh dance moves rule so bite me. Even with those, Hinoi Team waits outside of the Top Five.
5. Yui – CHE.R.RY (Last Week #7)

Yay! Yui makes it in to the Top Five with her second video! Hey, I love this song. It’s a ringtone, it was my MySpace song AND gets the most watching on the playlist. Oh, and the HD live performance is quite the awesome if I say so myself. Hooray for Yui!
4. Game feat. Kanye West – Wouldn’t Get Far (Last Week #5)
Seems The Game has some beef with Vida Guerra. Not cool, Game. Vida is fine as all hell and I love her. Do not besmirch her name, fool! Even still, love the video. Also, The Game is on the verge of his third Top 3 video! Can he make it happen? Some big names are above him…
3. Bennie K – 1001 Nights (Last Week #4)

…Like these ladies! Bennie K is making moves to get their second #1 video! This video has been sneaking up and has been making it’s round on the MP3 mix in the car. Still waiting for some album action. Until then, have this video in HD to watch. Can you say SAUCY? I know I can! Now, its time for a first on the Chachi Video Countdown…
1. Daughtry – It’s Not Over (Last Week #1, two weeks at #1)

Yes, that is a #1 where a two should be. You aren’t seeing things. Daughtry spends his second week at Number One with this video! Still pissed off about missing Chris getting voted off (his performance was lackluster) while Sanjaya was actually…tolerable with his rendition of ‘Bathwater’ which is one of my favorite No Doubt songs. That idiot that did ‘Love Song’ should have been voted off. We already have ONE J-Tim and that is ENOUGH! Damn teenage white girls. Anyway, yes there was a TIE for the #1 spot. Who is the other artist?
1. John Legend – PDA (We Just Don’t Care) (Last Week #2, one week at #1)

Yeah, you know it! John Legend has his 3rd Number 1 video to tie him with UVERworld for the most EVER! This video is a great watch and the song is also a ringtone. I have no woman to GIVE IT TO but it is there as the generic one (switching between ‘Freeway’ by Bi of course). Congrats to Chris and John on sharing the Top Spot!

That is it for this week, peeps! Who will stay at the top of the mountain: Daughtry or John Legend? Or can Bennie K or The Game leapfrog and take Number One? Yui is back in the mix after a five week hiatus, can she take the throne again? Tune in next week and find out!

Chachi Out

Man, My Life Gets Weirder By The Day.

What is up peeps! It is another gloriously shitty Monday in the CSP! I left a job in Denver for THIS?! At least I can wake up 45 minutes late and make it to work with one minute left to spare. Now THAT is good stuff.

So I first off want to thank everyone (all eight or nine of you) for voting in Douchebrawl. Aside from Beth and Zach, I don’t think anyone approves of the finalists (seeing as how democracy took the Bono/Paris Hilton final I was hoping for and shot it down like so many of my goddamn dreams) but that is what you get for not voting. Take note, because next year it is the battle of the All-Stars as Tom Cruise, Heather Graham and 50 Cent all return! Yeah, I am bringing out the big guns in 2008.

So I have a little rant in me. It is less of a rant, more of a complaint. I went cologne shopping on Saturday and first off why does all men’s cologne reek of ‘man-whore?’ I mean due to my indecisiveness I had to buy two (Giorgo something and Yves Saint Laurent which makes me smell like I am looking for the kind of love I don’t want), and that makes me double the skank. I am now what I despise. Anyway, one thing I have noticed recently is that I have been complimented on my dress by women. A lot. Now it is always nice to receive a compliment, especially when you are use to being laughed at and rejected. However, the line after the ‘Wow, you look nice/smell nice/don’t make me want to call security’ is followed by ‘What’s the occasion? Date tonight?’

This pisses me off because they know DAMN WELL no woman wants to date me. NONE. Rightfully so, I’m kind of a spaz and TOTALLY a jerk. Even with my…like two good qualities I know damn well that the odds of me getting a date between 1 and 10 is about Omaha, Nebraska. The simple fact is I don’t dress nice to impress the ladies because I have seen the dudes they are with so they must not care. I mean have you SEEN the fucktards with girlfriends these days? Half of them look like frat house rejects fresh off ‘bro-ing out with the bros’ while the others look swarthier than a Turkish boat tycoon dipped in Crisco and yet THEY get the honies. High school really never ends. So it is obvious the dress has very little to do with it or I am missing something (which I am most likely but I like my explanation better so NYAH).

The simple reason I dress nice (or as nice as I can on the budget I have) is for me. I can’t dress nice to look good? I mean lets face it; all this Come-And-Get-It is going to WASTE and I can’t let that slide. I mean, the best part about mancake is the frosting anyway. Am I right? Yeah, you know it. Every once in a while a man likes to get all gussied up and strut like Saturday Night Fever. Pop yo collar and get your walk on, so to speak. Only difference is that when I strut, Bi’s ‘I’m Coming’ is playing and I don’t do the pelvic thrusts because there are children around and they are the future. They don’t need to see that. So ladies, the next time you see me and I am looking all good it aint for you. Oh no, it is for ME because I likes to look FAB-YOU-LOUS!

Now, to what could be the greatest movie about dancing since Breakin 2: Electric Boogaloo. Here is ‘Kickin It Old Skool’:


Oh, I am so there. And did you see The Hoff and Kitt?! OH HELLS YES! Funky fresh dance moves aplenty! Well, that is all for now. Oh, one more thing. When Nick and I went to the Park Meadows Mall on Saturday, we saw something disturbing. Since when were females under the age of 18 allowed to go to Victoria’s Secret? I am sure I’m the only one that finds a problem with this (like I’m the only one that finds issue with 12 year old boys with Grillz and white tees) but this is fucking stupid. I mean this is part of the Dumbening of America right here. Girls have no need to be in Victoria’s Secret just like young men have no need to shop at Abercrombie and Fitch. Who are these girls trying to impress? I will tell you: dirty old men. And good luck with that shit. No good can come out of this trend. My daughter is going to be a fucking Spartan warrior. No way is she dressing like the eleven and twelve year olds at the mall. I mean I am not saying to dress like the Jane Austen times but for Jebus sake wear something that doesn’t sat ‘Hot Slut’ on it (and I have seen that, it is why I’m upset).

Oh and young boys are even WORSE. I was out at the Chapel Hills Mall yesterday on my comic run and to torment the dogs in the pet store by making it look like I am going to take them home when there was (once again) a scantily dress young child and there was a pack of 4 boys coming out of the theater. She was walking near me (not too close, but close enough to be in earshot if I spoke under my breath) and she said I smelled nice (to which I said thanks and wanted to run the hell away because jailbait is sadly the new thirty) and sped up to be side by side when the pack came to the area she was out and began ‘hitting on’ her in the most vulgar way possible. It made ‘Get Low’ seem like Cyrano as one actually said ‘Damn, your ass is working those jeans girl!’ No shit, I actually was going to just leave when I looked and she obviously looked uncomfortable as they literally kept on about how she was dressed for about 30 seconds or so as I was going to head to the comic book store. It was at that point I decided that turn stop and turn around. I walked toward them a few steps and told them ‘Hey, show some respect.’ At that point they looked at me like I was a police officer and said the most damning thing ever. ‘I didn’t know she was your girl, man.’

WTF?! I had to correct them quick and tell them she WASN’T my girlfriend but that they were being dicks and act like they had some sense. At that point it was like ‘Whateva, nigga’ and they left (keep in mind, these were four white kids that were dressed like bros, hence my total anger). What sucked EVEN MORE is that the girl followed me from the pet store to the Borders to Pacific Blue to the damn Food Court BACK TO BORDERS. More than likely it was for protection but I felt totally uncomfortable about that.

The reason I rant about this mostly is that it is a Catch 22. Women can’t dress ANYWAY for the most part because for the most part, men are perverts. On one hand I felt bad for her because she was just there to buy shoes while her mother was looking at other stuff (I feel totally creepy for having knowing her damn life story) and according to her she was harassed the WHOLE TIME. She didn’t do anything to attract it aside from dressing provocatively (which she was) but I wouldn’t put it into the realm of some of the stuff I have seen at the club. On the other hand, why in the hell would she dress like that at 15 any-damn-way? Just because you have it doesn’t mean you should flaunt it, at any age. Yet, just because she flaunts it is no excuse for a man to objectify it. You see? It is like a sexist game of Pong. There is no real right or wrong. That is what makes the problem of the sexes to difficult to rectify. So you know what? It is officially the South Park Theory about the N-Word: I don’t get it.

I will NEVER understand what it is like for a woman to be objectified solely for her body. However, a woman will NEVER understand the position of being a man in which no matter which route you choose, you could be wrong. Some women wear tight clothes to BE objectified (don’t even say that shit aint true, ladies) while some wear tight clothes for empowerment (HAHAHAHAHAHA….bullshit) or just because they want to. If you are wrong about her decision then may god help you. There is no victory, only the understanding that we will never understand. Rather than trying to understand each other as a whole, focus on understanding each person as an individual. Makes prejudice a lot harder. And that is one to grow on.

Well, that is all for now. I will try to be back up before the Countdown on Friday but I may not be because THE GRIZZLE IS COMING BACK ON WEDNSESDAY!! I hope you take pictures of the CSP now, because this motha is gonna be turned UPSIDE DOWN when we get done with it! We came to throwdown! Until the next time, stay up peeps!

Chachi Out.

It Takes Two To Tango...

Okay, it is time. 64 people entered the arena one month ago in hopes of being the Champion of Douchebrawl. You, the believers of the Chachi and the punisher of the asshat voted to see who would be the winner. We have gone from 64 participants down to four. Tonight, two people will fail in their conquest for ultimate infamy. They will have had a grand journey, and should be commended for such. Even still, they are assholes and should be treated as such. However, two of these people will go on to the final challenge they will battle for the ultimate in celebrity prizes. They will go toe-to-toe, doucheo-y-doucheo for the title of Douchebrawl Champion. They will go down in history with the names of Tom Cruise and Heather Graham as the greatest of all the douches. Tonight…I give you the Douchebrawl Championship participants! First, the updated brackets:

Now, the results!

Douchebrawl Championship Semi-Final:

George Lucas Acting Region Winner (1) Mel Gibson 55.56%
Vs.
50 Cent Musician Region Winner (3) Eminem 44.44%

One step away! Mel Gibson continues his Tom Cruise-like run to the Douchebrawl Championship! In a true douche fashion, Mel comes back to take the win from Eminem. Slim Shady had an excellent run, including pulling the upset over Bono (Thanks, DEMOCRACY!) to make it to the Douchebrawl Final Four but ran into a re-douchenated Mel after the Apocalypto fiasco. By the way, the movie sucked so the argument from the Mayans should focus on its being shitty rather than the violence. I’m just saying. With that being said, that just builds on to Mel’s legacy of being a fucking punk. However, I want to say how proud I am of Eminem in making it this far. I mean, what has he done over the last year? Nothing that I know of except The Re-Up, and since it already had Fiddy on it I was SO not getting involved in that ear-rape of an album. Even still, he was able to topple Bono and Diddy, both who were active this year with shitty music (Bono making a song for the New Orleans Saints when he isn’t a fucking American and Diddy just LIVING is annoying in definition). Great job Marshall, but not enough to defeat the King of Crazy.Now, time for the second finalist…

Douchebrawl Championship Semi-Final:

Heather Graham Trollop Whore Region Winner (6) Lindsay Lohan 66.67%
Vs,
Andy Dick Fucktard Region Winner (1) Kevin Federline 33.33%

Once again, K-Fed fails to beat a woman for a trip to the Douchebrawl Championship. Maybe he should hang out with Ike Turner more often. ZING! It seems firecrotch is making her first trip to the Douchebrawl Championship! After her vagina baring week (well, not like it is news, her gullyhole got out of rehab before she did) I guess people figured that she was more of an idiot than K-Fuck. I can agree, he has been rather quiet since the Super Bowl ad and he is actually looking like the SANE ONE after Britney’s Martin Lawrence breakdown sans pistol. K-Fed has officially become the Duke University of Douchebrawl, never able to win the big one but at least makes it to the big one. Unlike Bono, who TOTALLY Peyton Manning this year. HA! Only funny part of last night’s SNL. Also, for the second straight year, the finalist of the Trollop Whore Region will be in the finals. I think next year I will switch things up a little bit. Lindsay also makes it this far after a lackluster Second Round defeat to Madonna of all people. This year she came back with a vengeance beating all three top seeds (Britney, Paris and Tara) and K-Fed to boot. Congrats, Lindsay!

So the finals have been set. We are down to two. After next Sunday, one person will go home the runner-up, second place after a hard fought run to immortality. However, the winner next Sunday will go down in history with the name Tom Cruise as a winner of Douchebrawl. Who will it be?! The Finals are set, and here is the match-up:

Douchebrawl 2007 Championship

George Lucas Acting Region Winner (1) Mel Gibson
Vs.
Heather Graham Trollop Whore Region Winner (6) Lindsay Lohan

This is it! The Grandest Battle on the Second Grandest Stage of Them All! Who will win the 2nd Annual Tom Cruise Douchebrawl? Only you can choose! The polls are now up and ready for you to cast your ballot! Make your voice heard! Until Friday, stay up peeps!

Chachi Out.

It's A Man's World....

It is SO FRIDAY, peeps! Tonight is Happy Hour followed by T-U-R-T-L-E POWER because TMNT comes out tonight! Shell yeah! Turtle pun…I’ll stop. You know what time it is, so let me just bring it…

CHACHI’S TOP 20 VIDEO COUNTDOWN!!

This week I have another installment of…

Bubbling Under

First I bring you a new video from the current Number One artist:

Namie Amuro – Funky Town

Yummy. That is all I can say. Namie can work some black and some thigh highs. Legs that just say SEX-EEEEEE! She still needs a sandwich but few dance better than Namie (Ciara is on top IMHO followed by BoA and then Kumi Koda). Happy action fun time goodness over here! Can I get a N-A-M-I-E? Yes, I think I can. Next we have a song I have been digging since I got my promo pack in February…

Ne-Yo – Because Of You

Okay, this video is rather simple. Very simple. But you know what? I dig it a lot because it isn’t over extravagant like most R&B videos. Omarion and Chris Brown, I am looking at you. And the James Brown breakdown at the end is pretty spiffy. All in all, I like this video a hell of a lot. Lastly, I have my lady love…

Kumi Koda - But

O_o WOW. I am not for chick-on-chick kissing in videos (THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN! NOT YOU R. KELLY!) but its Kumi Koda so I will allow it. Miss Koda has actually been wearing clothes and toning down (well, ANYTHING is toning down after Juicy. MY GOD that was hot!) and I likes it. Aisho is better for the whole kimono factor (some people like schoolgirl outfits, I have always dug the kimono) but this video is on point. Oh, and the live performance makes men of boys. I guarantee it.

Now, on to the Countdown! We start with a record breaker on the way out!

20. Nelly Furtado – Say It Right (Last Week #17, #1 for three weeks)
Looks like Nelly Furtado is hanging on with everything she has! After 20 plus weeks, it has been a LONG ride with the majority of that time in the Top 10. Here is to a new video soon, hell maybe even a new album (we all remember the wait between Folklore and Loose so don’t get your hopes up)! Great run for Nelly and I am sure she will be back soon!
19. Yuna Ito – I’m Here (New Entry)

From one saucy lady to another! Yuna Ito makes her first ever appearance on the Top 20 Video Countdown (although Truth came hella close) with this danceable ditty. I have seen the first two episodes of Unfair and from what I can make out of it (I am still downloading the subbed version) it kicks ass. Oh, and the b-side of this single is top notch. Did I mention Yuna is quite nice? If I haven’t, look again. I’ll be at number 18 when you get back…
18. T.I. feat Young Jeezy, Young Dro, Big Kuntry, & B.G. – Top Back (Remix) [Last Week #12, two weeks at #1]
So T.I. is on the way out of the Top 20 after getting his second number one. His album is out soon and I don’t think they are releasing another single fro ‘King’ so it is a T.I.-less Spring for me. To that I say boo.
17. K-OS – Sunday Morning (Last Week #20)
K-OS makes a big move this week in his first foray into the Top 20. This song is a nice break in my Hip Hop folder in my MP3 deck (right between Swizz Beats and Rich Boy) and the video is a nice break from the J-Pop that is dominating my work play list. Catchy little song and high school dances bring back memories. Shitty memories, but still.
16. Three Days Grace – Never Too Late (New Entry)

A high debut this wee from the surprise winner of the Chachi for Rock of the Year (beating out UVERworld and Evanesence)! I still have yet to buy One-X (albeit I have every song off of it) and this one is a favorite of mine. I had no idea it was released as a single or had a video and after watching it….whoa. Needless to say, it is good to have them on here, its been a while!
15. Yui – Rolling Star (Last Week #12, #1 for three weeks, Plunge of the Week)
What more can I say about Yui that I haven’t already said? I am really gonna miss this video but I like CHE.R.RY a lot better now. Also, the new theme to Bleach should be here any minute (and check out Bleach 119! AWESOME!! Kenpachi as a young man is still bad ass!) so I am looking forward to that. This video will definitely be on the Year End Extravaganza.
14. Monkey Majik feat m-flo – Picture Perfect (Last Week #16)
Say hello to my new ringtone! This song has totally grown on me (with m-flo it doesn’t take much) and this video is a LOT better than the crap I had to watch on MTV last night while I worked on my phone. My god, does every video suck ass on MTV or is it just me?! And they are getting rid of MTV One, which had some J-pop videos that Adelphia (now Anal-rape-cast…err…Comcast) DIDN’T HAVE but we have PAX. J-Pop is better than gospel. Fuck off, Christianity and your shitty rock music.
13. TERIYAKI BOYZ feat Kanye West – I Still Love H.E.R. (Last Week #10)

Had to calm down again. The BOYZ fall a little this week and this is less about me not liking the video and more with I needs something new! C’mon, guys lay down some good stuff for the Chachi!
12. Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend (Last Week #15)
Yes, Avril moves up again just a stones throw from the Top 10. I like this video and I don’t care this song should be in the next Bring It On movie (tentatively titled Bring It On One Mo’ Gin: The Re-Broughtening) because it is that damn cheer-tastic. Yes, I said cheer-tastic.
11. May J feat. VERBAL – Here We Go (Last Week #8)
NOOOOOOOO! May J falls out of the Top 10 for the first time since…December? Man, she was hanging around for a while. Rightfully so, this video is HAWT. As is she. She is naice. I like. Well, on to the Top 10!
10. Home Made Kazoku – Nagaraboshi ~Shooting Star~ (Last Week #12)

For the first time, Home Made Kazoku makes a trip to the Top 10! This song is on my MySpace now and officially is on the phone as a ringtone (not sure whose yet). Just got the album fron Jpop & Kpop and it is good listening. Check it out if you are into that kind of thing. Which most of you aren’t but hey: right here, fucky.
9. UVERworld – Zero no Kotae (Last Week #11)
Yeah, you know it. UVERworld makes another run for the Top Spot! So BUGRIGHT debuted at #1 on the Japanese charts when it came out. Well DUUUUUH! Rather have this than U2’s greatest hits any day of the damn week. Fuck Bono. I can’t believe you guys voted for Eminem over Bono. Eminem is overrated but at least he isn’t a fucktard. Man…democracy is a strange mistress.
8. Evanescence – Lithium (Last Week #4)

Amy Lee and the boys fall four big spots and out of the Top Five. Maybe a few more wolves would have done the trick…
7. Yui – CHE.R.RY (Last Week #9)
More Yui! YAAAAAAY!!! This song is ALSO a ringtone for a certain someone (you know who you are, but maybe not because you never call and odds are don’t read the blog but eh, who does?) and this video is actually on right now. Man, I love this song. I even have learned to not be so afraid of deer now. Still don’t trust them, though…
6. Hinoi Team – Dancin’ and Dreamin’ (Last Week #7)

So the Queens of Underage Hawtness move up to one spot away from the Top 5. You know, Hinoi Team has the whole girl group thing locked down with all of them…well sucking. Aside from Foxxi MisQ, they have their moments. Aside from that, this is the only real good video from a girl group, American or not. YA-KYIM (I think that’s how it is spelled out) is OKAY but not awesome. Here is to a Hinoi Team album! Now, to the Top 5!
5. Game feat. Kanye West – Wouldn’t Get Far (Last Week #6)
Once again, The Game is carrying the torch for hip hop in the Top 5. Sad state when the biggest rap album of the year is from a dead man whose work we have ALREADY FUCKING HEARD! Hell, 2Pac has released double the albums posthumously than he did when he was alive! We have heard what, one new Biggie verse sine 1998?! Sad. Hell, when I am liking Rich Boy (who actually kind of sucks but is one of the better things out) you know there is a problem with hip hop because he is from ALABAMA! Man, enough ranting…
4. Bennie K – 1001 Nights (Last Week #5)
Ahhh, some Yuki and Cico to calm me down. If there is one thing I can count on, its that the ladies of Bennie K can calm me down from any fit of anger. Has Bennie K had an official album since Japan-A-Rhythm? I really don’t think so. GIVE ME ANOTHER ONE, NOW! I needs a full fix! Okay, gotta calm down, it is time for the Top Three.
3. Namie Amuro – Baby Don’t Cry (Last Week #1, #1 for three weeks)

Another artist falls short from the four week reign! Namie ties Nelly Furtado (Say It Right) and Yui (Rolling Star) as the longest running Number One videos of 2007. Not much to fret about, she has a new video and a new single so no one is crying, Namie. You don’t have to worry about that! We have a new number one video! Is it John or Chris…..
2. John Legend – PDA (We Just Don’t Care) (Last Week #3)

Moving up one spot to the runner up position, John Legend is attempting to have his 3rd #1 video! You know, aside from my laptop the only place I see this video is on VH1 Soul. That network actually isn’t that bad (they played Anita Baker AND Shalamar!) and has some good stuff! Good to see someone else giving the love up for this video. This song is also a ring tone on the new phone, but with no lady the point is probably moot. Eh, it is my own fault. I love too much. Anyway, peeps we have a NEW NUMBER ONE VIDEO!!!!
1. Daughtry – It’s Not Over (Last Week #2, one week at #1)

HELLS-MOTHERFUCKING-YES!! After an eight week wait, Daughtry finally secures the Number One spot! Kick ass video, rockin’ song and an awesome album! Oh, speaking of American Idol…DEMOCRACY DOESN’T FUCKING WORK! You know what I mean. My god, is America stupid or is this crazy day on Planet Stupid (different than Obvious Day)?! Man, at least we have Daughtry to right the wrong that is American Idol. Everybody give it up for the new Number One video!

Well, that is all for this weeks Countdown! Can Daughtry hold on to the throne for a second week? Or can John Legend secure is 3rd straight Number One video? Or can Bennie K or The Game capture the Top Spot? Don’t forget about Namie, can she pull as Shamrock and take the crown again? Tune in next Friday which is PAYDAY so it is PARTY TIME!! Until then, stay up peeps!

Chachi Out.

On The Hotline...

What’s up, peeps! It’s almost bedtime (been getting to sleep hella late recently, like 1am for no damn reason) so this wont be as long as I would like. But hey, The Chachi needs his sleep. So I got a new phone today (HELLS YEAH!) for the first time in a LOOOOONG time. I got my first phone for free at Radio Shack during Christmas of 1998 (As Teq said, I was the first one of my friends with credit. In retrospect, not so good) and have been a Verizon customer ever since. My first phone was some BRICK that had the proton pack in the back (not really, but it might as well have) that I had to give up because it never worked. My second was the V120:

And needless to say…it was a piece of shit. The antenna always broke and the reception was shit on campus to boot. That became a RUNNING THEME with Verizon that swore up and down it worked but I could walk from one room to another in Dwire Hall and it would go from Digital signal to ‘nigga, youse on the miz-oon!’ Luckily it was a free replacement so it wasn’t all that bad.

After the antenna on that phone broke for the 30th time I decided to upgrade. I was going to go to T-Mobile but once again, Verizon gave me an upgrade for free to the uber-cool new Motorola T720:

I thought to myself ‘sweet, free phone!’ and decided to sign another contact with the devil. This time, the assraping came via the usage rather than the phone. First off, at first the phone never charged. EVER. They had to get me a second battery (for free though) because even THEY couldn’t figure out what was wrong with it. Then, the phone would slip into analog randomly, which minutes used like $4 a minute or some shit. When I went to New Orleans, a call I made to Griff was split in two and 5 minutes of that call costed me 17 dollars. Dare I say BULLSHIT? So I decided AGAIN to leave but once again I was tempted by a discounted phone. This time it was a phone that had only been available for 3 days (BAD MOVE) the new Motorola 730:

Nice looking phone. One problem. It’s the SAME FUCKING PHONE!! Once again, in having the latest and greatest I also had the shittiest because I had to take this phone in for 5 software upgrades. Yeah, I know I’m stupid. So anyway after about 9 months and no less that seven trips to the Verizon store by Gateway, I had enough. I went in the store and gave a laundry list of complaints and demanded they void the last 30 days of my contract so I could leave. Some how, just like an abused wife, they talked me into staying. I then sympathized with Tina Turner, albeit for a second. At that point, they upgraded me to the brand spanking new v710:

Yeah, looks spiffy. One problem. This phone didn’t work either. I had to take THIS phone in for software upgrades once every two months and it fried two Bluetooth headsets. THAT is another story altogether. The lens fell off the camera and once again, it didn’t work on Austin Bluffs (which is the campus of UCCS, where about 60% of my time was fucking spent). At this point, I should have left but once again fate interviened. During one of my routine ‘this motherfucker stopped charging again’ software upgrades in 2005, the phone fried. LITERALLY. The screen was blacked out and everything and it wouldn’t power back up. So they AGAIN upgraded me for free to the E815:

Nice phone. Actually, as anyone can tell you I never really had an issue with this phone. It let me create my own ringtones after I figured out how to bypass the player (FINAL FANTASY FANFARE, FOOLS! WHAT?!) and it worked OKAY with my Bluetooth. However, the battery was shit and sometimes the mic wouldn’t work unless I restarted it. Pissed me off a little but with such a bad history I was happy it didn’t blow up in my damn ear. That brings me to today. I finally left the abusive relationship that was Motorola and went with LG, who I had always heard good things about. I got the LG9800 (better known as the enV):

And I must say I am impressed. I figured out how to get created ringtones on there and have my Jessica Alba wallpaper (in widescreen, baby!) so I am all good. Looks to be good stuff.

Aside from the new phone, it has been a slow week. I am still annoyed with the stupidity of some of the tools I use (hell, ALL OF THE TOOLS I USE!) but thems the breaks. Big news though: T’SHEEZY IS COMING BACK NEXT WEEK! Can you say running the streets?! Hells yeah, the Cul-De-Sac Crew is back and about to wreck the CSP and Denver like it has never been wrecked! Can I get a laffy-taffy? No? Eh, fine. Well, South Park will be on soon and then it’s bed time. I will be back on Friday with the Countdown, until then stay up peeps.

Chachi Out.

....And Then There Were Four.

Okay, peeps! The polls have officially closed and the Regional Finals of Douchebrawl 2007 are complete! Behold…

THE DOUCHEBRAWL REGIONAL FINAL RESULTS!!!

Above are the updated brackets! First, we start with perhaps the biggest upset in Douchebrawl history….

(1) Bono 36.36%

vs.
(3) Eminem 63.64%

Yes, you read that correctly. For the SECOND STRAIGHT YEAR Bono fails to make the Douchebrawl Final Four in a close battle! Eminem in his first year in the tournament takes his spot in the Semi-Finals by beating this year’s favorite. While not as big as least years upset of Britney Spears by Heather Graham, this is still a shocker. I really felt Bono had this wrapped up after Diddy went down but like I said, the power is yours and you chose Slim Shady! Congratulations to Mr. Mathers and a great job goes to Bono. Your douchiness is well documented and a trophy doesn’t do it justice. You truly suck ass Bono. Godspeed. Now, who will Eminem’s opponent be in the Semis? This one isn’t a shock at all….

(1) Mel Gibson 90.91%

vs.
(10) Hayden Christensen 9.09%

This was the most lopsided vote of the final match-ups. Mel Gibson gains sweet, Jesus like vindication after last year’s defeat to Tom Cruise in the Regional Final! Hayden made a strong showing making it this far but in the end, I guess killing the Star Wars franchise can’t trump crappily re-enacting the death of America’s second favorite fictional character. Number one? Underdog. He kicks the ass. So now Mel Gibson takes his stab at the Douchebrawl Championship! Now, let’s take a look at the first Douche in the second bracket!

(1) Paris Hilton 45.45%

vs.
(6) Lindsay Lohan 54.55%

Second upset, peeps! For the second year in a row, the Number One seed doesn’t make it out of Trollop Whore Region! Paris Hilton dominated the competition in the first three rounds (even shutting out Paula Abdul!) but ran into the redhead buzz saw that is Lindsay Lohan! In her second year, Lindsay avenges her Second Round loss and defeats the Queen of Skank! I was a little surprised by this result, especially since Paris jumped out to a huge lead as of Thursday. The people voted, and in a close one Lindsay Lohan takes a place in the Semi-Finals! Great job to Paris in her first year. This isn’t a reflection of your lack of whoredom as much as Lindsay really working the skank factor. Congratulations, Lindsay! Now, for the final participant in the Douchebrawl Finals…

(1) K-Fed 54.55%

vs.
(3) Nick Cannon 45.45%

In another close one, K-Fed edges out Nick Cannon to take up the last spot in the Douchebrawl Finals! This is the second straight entry into the Finals for K-Fed! Nick Cannon put on a great showing, actually leading K-Fed for most of the week. Then the crapitude of K-Fed kicked in and he made a MASSIVE comeback for the win via the peeps! A great first year showing but Nick came up just short from Douchebrawl greatness. So now, the Final Four has been set:

Douchebral Semi-Final #1

George Lucas Acting Region Winner
(1) Mel Gibson

Vs.
50 Cent Musician Region Winner
(3) Emimem

Douchebrawl Semi-Final #2

Heather Graham Trollop Whore Region Winner
(6) Linday Lohan

Vs.
Andy Dick Fucktard Region Winner
(1) Kevin Federline

Peeps, on Feburary 23rd, 64 Douches were entered into the battle of all battles for supremacy. After next Sunday, two people will fall to the way side as runner-up and go home with minimal glory. But two of the four will go down in infamy. They will be a part of the grandest battle to be staged since the Battle of the Bands at the Hartford Civic Center in 1987. They will battle for the Championship of Douchebrawl! Only you can make their dreams a reality! Only YOU can crown the biggest Douche of 2007! Who will it be?! We will find out on Sunday! The polls are up now and ready for your votes! I will be back up later in the week but until then, stay up.

Chachi Out

Eight Hours Until The Eight Goes To Four!

Hey, peeps! Hope Drunken Irish Day went swimmingly! Just so you know, the polls for Douchebrawl close tonight at 10pm EST! There are some upsets brewing so be sure let your votes count! I will have the updated results up tonight or Monday night, but the polls will be ready for your votes in the Final Four this evening. The POWER IS YOURS!!!!

Votes are unlimited so knock yourself out!

Slayer of men. Slayer of HENCHmen...

Yo yo yo! What is UP?! It is Friday and it is SO PAYDAY! The Chachi smells a FASHION PARTAY!!! Nah, I gots enough on that end. However, Fridays are know for a little something around here. Yeah, you know it! It’s time for the…

Chachi Top 20 Video Countdown!

But first….I MUST DANCE! Go King Beef! Go King Beef! Go King Beef! Yeah, some Martin humor for you. Seriously, iit’s been a while so here is a new installment of….

Bubbling Under!!

First I have a reggae video I have been jamming on for a while…

Collie Budz – Come Around

Everyting is i-ree! Seriously, I am all about this jam right now. The weather is warming up so I roll with the windows down bump this. Do people still say bump? Anyway, Collie Budz aint too bad. And he is from Jamacia. If he wasn’t, why would he be wear dat hat? Just kidding, this video is good stuff. Next we have another hawt lady that is battling Kumi Koda for my heart…

Yuna Ito – I’m Here

YES! YES! OH MY GOD YES!! I have been all about Yuna for a minute but what really got me into her was ‘Truth’ but I had never seen her until I downloaded the video. As you can see…DAMN. Yuna is so damn fine it almost makes me forget about the Yuna at NDK. Zach can tell you, she was good stuff. This song is from Unfair, which I downloaded the first three episodes and an (UN-FUCKING-SUBTITLED!) movie. Good stuff, check it out. (Special thanks to Roxanne for the Popjam live performance of this. You just made Friday RULE!)

BTW, I will have a review at some point of some J-Drama’s I have been watching. Before I even get to it, WATCH STAND UP NOW! That show is funny as hell! At least the first 12 minutes. Not quite Densha Otoko, but that is more because I AM Densha Otoko. Now on to the Countdown while I read some manga and cry. We start with a debut!

20. K-OS – Sunday Morning (New Entry)

Okay, a little known jam right here. I have been listening to K-OS for a while, ever since we used to get MuchMusic. I have always dug his work and this song is toe-tapping goodness. The video isn’t to shabby either. According to some people more in the know around Canada, this song is rather old but I digs it anyway. Welcome to the Countdown, K-OS!
19. Halcali – Look (Last Week #16)
So the ladies of Halcali are on the verge of falling out of the Top 20 this week. It has been quite a run and if you get a chance (and use Bittorrent) check them out on the Rhythm Nation end of year special. They are looking quite the nice.
18. Justin Timberlake – What Goes Around, Comes Around (Last Week #17)
So Justin falls back to where he entered three weeks ago on the Countdown. You don’t dis Prince, man. You don’t. You see what happened to Dave Chappelle? That will be you pretty soon. He has that effect.
17. Nelly Furtado – Say It Right (Last Week #15, #1 for three weeks)
Damn. Nelly Furtado is STILL hanging around after more than FOUR months! Without a video on the way she may want to hang out as long as possible!
16. Monkey Majik feat m-flo – Picture Perfect (Last Week #18)

Monkey Majik has a new single and video out with Seamo but as you know, after his Lil Jon-esqe verse in Bennie K’s ‘Love Story’ he and I aren’t on speaking terms. Luckily this video kicks enough ass to make up for it and his past indiscretions.
15. Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend (Last Week #20, Biggest Mover)
Hells yes! I don’t care, I love this song and I love this video no matter how much it sounds a lot like an Ashlee Simpson song. Even still, I likes it and that’s all that matters. That and the ‘Mickey’ breakdown near the end. Good stuff.
14. Yui – Rolling Star (Last Week #12, #1 for three weeks, Plunge of the Week)
Yui falls two spots this week, and it looks like Bleach will have a new opening theme pretty soon. I am still wondering where in the hell Yui’s album is but that is neither here nor there. Still am all about this video something fierce.
13. T.I. feat Young Jeezy, Young Dro, Big Kuntry, & B.G. – Top Back (Remix) [Last Week #8, two weeks at #1]
So T.I. is on the ‘I’m A Flirt’ remix with R.KELLY AND T-UGLY MOTHERFUCKING-PAIN. Man…I am so pissed I can’t think straight. And that is NOT a pun, I am furious right now.
12. Home Made Kazoku – Nagaraboshi ~Shooting Star~ (Last Week #14)
After a massive debut, Home Made Kazoku moves up two spots this week, just outside of the Top 10. This song should be on my MySpace homepage right now because it is that damn awesome. Here is to their new album coming soon to a record store not near you! But I bet Fiddy is. God, America has poor taste in music.
11. UVERworld – Zero no Kotae (Last Week #13)

And even more evidence America has poor taste in music. WHERE IN THE HELL IS THE UVERWORLD AT OVER HERE?! The only Japanese CD I ever see is Puffy Ami Yumi (Oh, and they kind of SUCK, IMHO)! These guys (along with Mr. Children) could tear up America if marketed right. Like the Latin Invasion minus the gay of Ricky Martin and the suck of Enrique Iglasias. Enough ranting, into the Top 10 we go!
10. TERIYAKI BOYZ feat Kanye West – I Still Love H.E.R. (Last Week #7)
The upward climb of the TERIYAKI BOYZ hits a huge wall as they tumble down three spots but stay in the Top 10. No need to worry, M-Flow has an album coming out in April and a new single which means a new video any day now. I hope…
9. Yui – CHE.R.RY (Last Week #11)

Yaaaaay! Yui cracks the Top 10 for a second time! I finally got the PV with the lyrics and man. This song is so damn cute it hurts. All about crushes and whatnot. Too bad I’m so bitter and jaded or I would LOVE the words. I’m kidding, this video rocks.
8. May J feat. VERBAL – Here We Go (Last Week #5)
*Sigh* after two months May J finally falls out of the Top 5. It has been a pretty long run for May J (same amount of time as both Yui and Nelly Furtado) but sadly she was unable to take the Number 1 spot. Still, this video has staying power because it is above the both of them! Can’t beat that!
7. Hinoi Team – Dancin’ and Dreamin’ (Last Week #10)
Oh yeah. Hinoi Team continues their move up the Top 20 with this one. I just got ANOTHER live performance of this and I swear: Hikaru and the gang should by all intents and purposes fell on their ass 25 times in those heels. Ladies of Hinoi Team, I salute you for dancing like that in those things. I am impressed.
6. Game feat. Kanye West – Wouldn’t Get Far (Last Week #9)
So The Game once again is one step away from the Top 5. Time for a rare moment, Rich Boy’s album (the Throw Some D’s guy) actually isn’t mind-numbingly horrible like I was expecting. As hip hop albums go…its tolerable. Check the remix with Andre 3000 (who is one of the few bright spots lyrically in hip hop in the last six months), his verse aint too shabby. Now, into the Top Five!
5. Bennie K – 1001 Nights (Last Week #6)
Well here is a familiar face! For the first time since December, Bennie K places a video in the Top 5! It has been a while and this song grows on you after a few listens. The video is interesting and Yuki is just damn hot. That is all. That is more than enough for me.
4. Evanescence – Lithium (Last Week #2)
After two weeks in the runner-up position, Evanescence falls two spot and out of the Top Three. This is the second time for these guys, but that is not a negative. The last time they were stuck behind someone, that certain someone won the Chachi Award for Artist of the Year! Even still, Amy Lee and Co. hang on to the Top Five. We are down to three…
3. John Legend – PDA (We Just Don’t Care) (Last Week #4)

Back near the top where he belongs, here is John Legend! It’s sad this video gets no love from anyone except me and on this Countdown but it is well deserved. Hell, most people don’t know who he is (two Grammy’s and two platinum albums later, mind you) but We Just Don’t Care. Great video and kick-ass song. Now, on to Number 2…
2. Daughtry – It’s Not Over (Last Week #3)

Daughtry makes his bid for the top spot this week! Chris moves up one more spot to the runner-up position, looking to do what May J, Young Jeezy and Evanesence could not do this year: knock off the champ from the Number 2 spot! If anyone can do it, Daughtry is the man! For now, a Woman holds the top spot yet again…
1. Namie Amuro – Baby Don’t Cry (Last Week #1, #1 for three weeks)

Who says I don’t like women! Of the twelve weeks of 2007, a woman has been #1 for NINE of them! Namie is making a home with her first video on the Countdown, holding the Number One video for the third straight week! She has a new single coming April 4th (can I get a whoop-whoop?!) so a new video should be out soon! Can things GET any better?! Congrats to Namie!

Well, that is all for the Countdown for this week! Can Namie be the first artist of 2007 and the first since John Legend to hold the Number 1 spot for a whole month? Or can Daughtry take his first ever video to #1? Or will John Legend capture the crown for a record tying THIRD TIME? Tune in next Friday, peeps! Until then, stay up. And dont forget to vote!!

Chachi is O-U-T!

Damn James Blount!

Morning, peeps! First things first, thank you for voting in Douchebrawl this round! After the lackluster turnout for the Suckass Sixteen (maybe it’s the name…) I am glad to see the peeps back in FORCE to put Mel Gibson in the Finals. Just KIDDING! Be sure to tell your friends, I want the Final Four to be bigger than the Bryan Adams comeback tour!

So today I want to try something new. I rant every now and then (a lot less than before but still) but one thing I rarely do is give commentary. I leave that to others, mainly because my commentary turns into an angry diatribe (kind of redundant, eh?) anyway. However, sometimes there are things that I just want to take a second and say a little something on. So today, I have the first installment of…

How Chachi Feels About:

Being Shallow

Now as many of you know, I’m a nerd. Total dweeb. One thing that I do as a nerd is look at Ctrl+Alt+Del every morning before I get going at work. It is good stuff, almost has replaced Penny Arcade as my favorite (No one can top the Merch Christmas). As a storyline driven web comic, I have liked a lot of the arcs like the Mac Panthers arc. He has a current arc where Lucas decides to get back on the dating scene and joins a Match.com like dating site. Zeke (an X-Box robot) sets him up on a date behind his back with a heavier woman. The arc basically shows how Lucas is not attracted to her but still goes out with her. Come to find out she ISN’T overweight, just wearing a fat suit and she is actually skinny. He has a good time and the end.

Tim Buckley (not like I know him so I won’t act like I do) gave an explanation this morning about why he portrayed Lucas the way he did after some e-mails from upset people. This made me think. What is wrong with being shallow anyway?

Okay, as a fat, black jerk I can honestly say that I have no reason to be shallow. Hell, I already have three strikes against me and two strikes in the second inning (being sexually ambiguous and nerd count against me, too). Yet, I think being ‘shallow’ is confused with having certain standards, right or wrong. Case in point: I don’t like skinny women. Hell, I don’t like skinny people in general. Call it jealousy, call it a preference but if I had my choice I would not date a skinny woman no matter what my size because I don’t find that initially attractive. Does that make me shallow? In terms of the way the word is used now, yes it does. Does that mean I won’t talk to that person if I like her personality? Hell no. Will that curb my physical attraction to her? Hells no because if you love someone solely based on how they look, good luck with that.

On the flip side, I also understand that I am not the ideal for most women. I’ve been told by women that they don’t find fat guys attractive. Can’t blame them for that at all. Who would I be to judge them when I do the exact same thing (albeit reversed)? It may hurt, it may suck and it may mean they miss out on the 100% Grade-A Mancake but it is their fucking choice. I have been told by one girl in particular (Who was Mormon. Bad move on MY PART) that she liked me but didn’t date black men. I was surprisingly okay with that. You know why? Because I don’t date black women, or they don’t date me spin that how you want. That was her choice and although I didn’t like it I (sadly) respected it. Even weirder was when we DID date and I met her dad when I picked her up and all he could do was stare and sloooooowly close the door in confusion. Is that shallow? No, that is a choice. I know this all too well because for a long time I wasn’t en vogue not because of my weight but because I was TOO DARK when light-skins were hot (Fuck Christopher Williams). Griff can tell you, that shit HURTS. Was it fair? No, and I will stick by that to this day because I am a SEXY SHADE OF MOCHA! I accepted it as a choice they made and to each their own.

So quite simply is being ‘shallow’ a bad thing? Well, yes and no. Just like anything there are pros and cons to being choosy. If the military took anyone and everyone that enlisted because they were desperate the drunk, ugly sorority girl at a frat party we would be….you know that joke is too easy. If you aren’t attracted to women with tattoos (Especially at the small of the back. REAL ORIGINAL) because you think that shows a personality of being weak and easily influenced then that is your choice. If you think that a guy that watches cartoons isn’t your type because it means they never grew up and shows immaturity, it is quite alright. The simple fact is that we are by nature ‘shallow’. Looks matter and that is the bottom line.

However, with people being like snowflakes being ‘shallow’ really limits you. If everyone looked alike and had the same ideal of beauty, it would be…well creepy. I don’t like all of the same traits Rick likes in a woman (we’ve been over this) but several overlap. I am not a fan big boobs (especially fake ones. CREEPY), for the most part he digs ‘em like Sugar Smacks. He isn’t about the illegal shift in the backfield but I am all about that 5-yard penalty. Yet, we both aren’t fans of tattoos or smokers. That still gives a wide spectrum of women out there that we find attractive. That being said, once you get past that, there is a very important factor that outweighs that: personality.

Now that is when being shallow can truly fuck you over. I for one am the exception to this rule because if you don’t like the cover of this book you sure as HELL aint going to like the story. If I hear another person say ‘he was cute but he was such a jerk!’ or ‘she was hot but man she was a bitch’ I will rip your lower mandible out and use it as a fucking cup holder. This is when I use the word shallow. Not to describe a person, but their PERSONALITY. A shallow personality is one that is devoid of any depth or originality. A pretty woman that has no sense of humor is not sexy. She may be a physical specimen but for the most part, you can’t have sex all day. At some point you have to talk about SOMETHING and when you do, if she or he is shallow it is going to SUCK. Since the majority (okay, all) of my time is spent NOT having sex the ability to relate and have fun with someone is key. Having a great personality actually should (and for me does) make up for not fitting into my ‘ideal’. Is it the same for everyone? No, some people have a box and if you don’t fit in that box then it is on to the next girl/guy. Again, there is nothing wrong with that. Keep in mind; people don’t like to be in boxes. They keep on escaping, and then you have to use the cattle prod…let’s just say it’s not worth it.

So back to the original point: how does the Chachi feel about being shallow? It is a part of being human. Everyone has their preferences and there is nothing wrong with that. Keep in mind, it is an INDIVIDUAL preference. With the rise of Maxim, Cosmo, Spike TV and Sex in the City (dumbest fucking show EVER) people are really falling into this ‘ideal beauty’ that is portrayed and if that is your thing then do it to it. No matter how ‘unbiased’ you are, you have preset ideas of what is attractive to you. So don’t get pissy when someone else’s are different from yours or aren’t you. If someone doesn’t find a trait about you attractive, odds are you weren’t right for that person anyway. If you were, then they just missed out on the greatest thing to happen since all-natural applesauce. At least that’s the lie I tell myself to get to sleep without crying. Just kidding, everyone is beautiful. Nothing wrong with being ‘shallow’ but you could be missing out.

Phew, glad I got that out. I will be back tomorrow with the Top 20 Video Countdown I think Nolan, Zach, Nick and I are going to D&B’s for a ZOMBIE KILLING PARTEEEEEY! I will try to get pictures of the excursion for viewing. And hopefully no 13 year old will hit on me this time. Oy…that was awkward. Until Friday, here is something for the male demographic. New Kumi Koda live! Get the penicillin, because I would so hit that.

Holy crap, has she been eating?! She no longer looks like she is about to blow away! Alright, alright, alright! Be sure to vote in Douchebrawl, polls close Sunday night and the Final Four begins!!

Chachi Out

You May Need A Shower After This Rant...

Good morning, peeps! As you know, the Regional Finals of Douchebrawl 2007 has begun! We are down to the eight biggest douches as voted on by the people and it is time to send four of them to the Douchebrawl Championship! Here are the Regional Final match ups!

George Lucas Acting Regional Final:

(1) Mel Gibson
Vs.
(10) Hayden Christensen

Last year Mel Gibson came one victory away from the Douchebrawl Championship and infamy. This year, the favorite to take the trophy home has a second chance, something Jesus never got (ZING!). Unlike last year, when Mel was the underdog against an on-a-roll and eventual winner Tom Cruise, Mel is the favorite against the young shitty Jedi Hayden Christensen. Last year Hayden lost in the second round (to Tom Cruise as well) rather convincingly. This year, he knocked off #2 seed Ashton Kutcher and upset #11 seed Russell Crowe to get one step away from Douchebrawl glory. Can Hayden pull one more upset and make it to the finals? Or will Mel Gibson avenge last years close defeat and take his place in Douchebrawl lore? Only you can decide! The next match up is…

50 Cent Musician Regional Final:

(1) Bono
Vs.
(3) Eminem

Wow, now this is a battle. The self-righteous Irish douchebag or the most overrated hip hop fucktard since L.L. Cool J. Who will win? Bono is back in the Regional Final for the second straight year after losing to 50 Cent last year, costing him a spot in the Douchebrawl Championship. The peeps have put him one step away again this year. Can he bring it home? Or will the newcomer Marshall Mathers take his place in the Final Four? Eminem wasn’t even in Douchebrawl last year and has made an impressive showing by beating out #2 seed Diddy in convincing fashion and making it this far. Can Slim Shady add a Douchebrawl Championship trophy to his resume? Or will Bono win for the starving children out of the goodness of his heart? We will see! Next we have…

Heather Graham Trollop Whore Regional Final:

(1) Paris Hilton
Vs.
(6) Lindsay Lohan

In my opinion, the best match of the four. Lindsay has avenged her Suckass Sixteen loss last year by defeating #3 seed Tara Reid and #2 seed Britney Spears en route to the Regional Finals. Can she beat her on-again/off-again best friend? In her first year in Douchebrawl, Paris has had a run similar to Tom Cruise last year, simply CRUSHING her foes (by an average of about 86% to 14%) on her way to being one step away from the Finals. Who will win Skankfest 2007? Only you can decide, peeps! Lastly, we have…

Andy Dick Fucktard Regional Final:

(1) K-Fed
Vs.
(3) Nick Cannon

If there was a more worthless battle, I don’t know what it is. K-Fed once again has Popozao’d his way to the Regional Final and he is looking to be the first person to go to TWO Douchebrawl Championships. That may be more impressive than winning, because that shows douche staying power. Standing in his way may be the most worthless celebrity since….well Ray J. Nick Cannon has taken his first shot in Douchebrawl and made the most of it, knocking off #2 seed Peyton Manning to be one step away from immortality. Because this is the only immortality he will get because he sucks it dry. Can K-Fed make Douchebrawl history or will Nick Cannon continue his march toward fucktard greatness? The power is YOURS!

Those are your Regional Finals! Be sure to vote (the Suckass Sixteen was half of what the first two rounds were) and there is no limit! I just ask you don’t be a fucker about it. I am looking at Rick and his four Ben Affleck votes. Eh, can’t complain because Ben Affleck deserves it. The polls close at 10pm eastern time this Sunday night and then we begin the Douchebrawl Championship!

Okay, it is SO rant time. It has been a while since I have done a legit rant (I think the last one was the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy but that was back when I was acting like a punk bitch) and this has been a LONG TIME FUCKING COMING.

Why is it that I cannot hear a fucking R&B/Hip-Hop/radio jingle without R. Kelly in it? I mean…okay I want to choose my words carefully here. Screw it, we are all adults. If you aren’t an adult then this is a lesson. First off, I understand that in America you are guilty until proven innocent. Err…innocent until proven GUILTY. Sorry, I’m Black so it’s flip-flopped, I mess that up sometimes. Despite his ‘innocence’ (BULL-FUCKING-SHIT) I am one that believes that R. Kelly should not be allowed to make music. Not necessarily because he is a pedophile (because he IS and it has been proven by the trying to marry Aaliyah fiasco that niggas still ignore to this day) but because he is a pisser. Yeah, I said it a PISSER.

Having sex with children is wrong. Now I JOKE about the Hinoi Team (and it is all good and legal in Japan, which is SCARY because R. Kelly in Japan is like an all-you-can-piss-on buffet. That shit is TAME compared to what Japanese men do to them, I’ve sadly seen the movies) but at the end of the day I would never DO anything. Because that shit is not fucking cool. And before a certain someone (who doesn’t read this anyway but karma shows that she WILL this time just because that’s the way my life works) mentions my comments about locking Hayden Paniterre in a box I just will say that I said I would do it AFTER she turned 18 or keep her in the box UNTIL she turned 18. See, I have morals so QUIT YOUR BITCHING!

Back to the point. The fact is that R. Kelly has had several problems with sexual misconduct and minors. It has been proven that he has had relations with underage girls. There have been documents about an abortion by a 16 year old that reportedly was carrying R. Kelly’s child. Pictures of R. Kelly having sex with girls as young as FOUR-FUCKING-TEEN were seized from his house (charges were dropped when it was found there was no warrant for the seizure)! All this evidence and any normal man would have been locked up and probably had every hole violated in prison like Jasmine Byrne. With all this being said and all this evidence….

Why does R. Kelly have another single out? WITH T.I. NO LESS!! Why is he doing a song with BOW WOW?! We all know the age range of HIS fanbase. Why is he on ‘Go Getta’ with Young Jeezy? That song rules it, but I can’t listen to it because the King of R & Pee is on it. Oh, and most importantly WHY IN THE HELL IS HE ON THE ‘MAKE IT RAIN’ REMIX?! Does anyone aside me get the innuendo with that? Don’t worry, I’ll wait. Get it? Just think golden shower and I am SO moving on.

I was talking to a friend (kind of, I think its more of tolerance of my wanton anger on her part) and a very important point hit me as I ranted about how much I hate this nigga. When pedophiles are released from prison, they are told (in some cases forced) to stay away from children. Yet, not only is R. Kelly allowed to be around kids (he took some girl to her 8th grade Sadie Hawkins dance in 2003. Or maybe I made that up. He’s so fucking nasty YOU AINT EVEN SURE!), he is allowed to make songs with them! Remember ‘Bump, Bump, Bump’ with B2K? Or ‘Gigalo’ with the biggest fucktard of them all Nick Cannon? What better way to meet underage black girls than to work with artists whose fanbase is UNDERAGE BLACK GIRLS?! Well, like Adam West said in ‘The Boondocks’ at least he is all about the sistas. Problem is they are young enough to be Chris Brown’s young sister. Disgusting ass nigga. Oh, and remember the whole ‘Pied Piper of R&B’ moniker of his with the gay ass Lone Ranger mask? Anyone know about the story? Read it and tell me he isn’t disgusting.

The part of this that pisses me off the most…damn it, I just said piss in an R. Kelly rant. That was unintentional, I swear. Anyway, what irritates me is how people (especially YOU, black people) are letting this slide. I mean you listen to his music STILL, granted he is everywhere. And yes, Chocolate Factory was scandal proof. However, the rest of his stuff has SUH-UCKED and you know it. Innocent until proven guilty is fine as long as THERE IS NO EVIDENCE OUT THERE TO PROVE YOU ARE GUILTY! With all the videos, pictures and track record of this man it is pretty much obvious that he is a molester and a pisser. Yet, I am the only person that seems to think this fuck needs to be in jail. Am I the only sane Black man in America? Am I the only one that sees R.Kelly for the disgusting pervert that he is? The answer to that question is sadly yes. How it all breaks down is this:

The reason R.Kelly is not in jail is because deep down…..we all want have sex with and pee on 14 year old black girls. I never thought that was the case, but I guess that is the only rational fucking reason that anyone would support him or find him as a victim in this whole thing. Well, let me be the first person to say I do not want have sex with or pee on a 14 year old black girl. Nor a 26 year old black woman for that matter (Sadly, black women and I don’t get along. Get a few drinks in me and I will tell you about it). I don’t want to pee on any-damn-body. That shit is gross!

I want R.Kelly in jail. I want him as far away from children as possible. I want him as far away from video cameras as possible. I WANT HIM AS FAR AWAY FROM A MICROPHONE AS POSSIBLE!! No more ‘R&B classics’ and no more fucking up remixes. It is a god damned shame that Shyne is in jail for having Diddy’s back and Lil Kim went to jail for NOT SNITCHING (I am down with Katt Williams on this point) while R.Kelly is still free to make bad music. Probably peeing on a 15 year old as I type this. I fucking hate R.Kelly. Strong words, but he is a perv. That and he is a pisser. I leave you with this:

Preach it, Huey. Preach it. I will be back on Friday for the Top 20 Video Countdown and maybe up on Thursday. On a side note, rumor is they are moving Scrubs to ABC. Can you imagine Knights of Prosperity, In Case of Emergency and Scrubs on the same night? COMEDY PAR-TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!! Until Friday, stay up peeps.

Chachi Out. And no peeing on minors!

March Movie Madness, Baby!

WHOO HOO! It's Sunday, which means tomorrow is Monday! More poor tech support and shit that doesn’t work! At least this weekend was okay. Well, your weekend just got better as it is time for....

MASTER CHIEF CAPTAIN CHACHI GOES HOLLYWOOD!!: 'The Host' and '300'

So I made the trek to Denver yesterday to see ‘The Host’ (I gave a synopsis in an earlier post last year) and you know what? That movie kicked ass. The translation was interesting (not like I even KNOW Korean, but it was different than the version I downloaded and some of the jokes made no sense the way they were translated) but the movie itself had some campy moments a la Shaun of the Dead (FUCK YES!) and the monster even looked convincing, albeit in the last boss in Resident Evil 2 convincing. The acting was actually good (in comparison to American counterparts in the same genre) and the last ten minutes or so is kind of heart-wrenching as long as you took the time out to get in touch with the characters. Minus the older sister, she really wasn’t focused on but she plays an important part. All in all, there was some cheese in there but this movie is pretty fucking bad-ass. Drama, comedy (DROPKICK, FOOL!) action and even a little bit of horror tossed in made this a great watch. However, the movie skipped around a little and was a little forced in the middle but it wasn’t enough to turn me off. I recommend it. The Chachi gives The Host…

8.5 out of 10 stars!!

Now, it is time for the ultimate in homo-erotic cinema. On Friday I went to see 300 with Nolan, Zach and some other guy (Dylan? Brandon? Wait, that’s 90210. Fuck, I can’t remember!) and I must say, first off from what I remember of 300 graphic novel wise (it has been YEARS and I didn’t want to read it and pre-judge the film like I did Sin City) it was almost panel for panel a dead on adaptation. As a comic fan I like it when the story stays true to the comic (you listening Ang Lee?!) so that was a plus. Second was the actual locals. People were pissed because the backgrounds were hella lavish and didn’t ‘look like ancient Greece’. To them I say so the fuck what?! It was ANCIENT GREECE! Not Greece in the 1980’s you fucktards! Besides, the backgrounds and landscape kicked ass. The detail wasn’t up to part with Lord of the Rings but the hordes and locales weren’t the focus of the movie. The big part of the movie were the Spartans. And wow. Those men were MEN. I’m talking MAAAAAAAAAAAN CAAAAAAAAAAKE! Whoo….made me want to enlist right then. Wasn’t a non-hawtie in the bunch.

And they were wrecking shop! As Master Shake would say ‘They came to throw down!’ There were more beheadings and limb removals since…hmm…I can honestly say I have never seen this many beheadings and limb removals. And I played God of War on the hardest level. The violence really was just awesome in this. Yes, the blood never hit the ground but it was Sparta. The Spartan men were so hot the blood never was ABLE to touch the ground. Aside from that (which I heard but didn’t even notice until it was over) the rest of the movie was bad ass! When I say bad ass, I mean back fucking ass! This movie was better than Gladiator in terms of action definitely in terms of writing because Frank Miller rules (I don’t think he gets a lot of credit as writer as much as he gets it for changing the style. Yes he popularized the grim and gritty comic character but he still made it all work with kick-ass storytelling) and as for action we all know that the Spartans fought in bullet-time. It has been documented several times. Countless deaths, awesome visuals, superb dialog for a comic based movie and Greek mancake aplenty. Combine that with some great music and you have the best movie of the year so far, peeps. The Chachi gives 300 his highest recommendations and a….

10 out of 10 stars!!
(Aside from the focus on the over-the-top-violence, this movie was everything an epic is supposed to be. Well worth the watch, and MUST been seen in the theater to get the full effect. Oh, and this is so a date movie. Boobies and decapitations for men, hawt and shirtless Spartans for the ladies. Can’t go wrong with that!)

So did anyone watch that Pussycat Doll show? Why do these girls have to know how to sing? Only Nicole does and she is only above average at best. I SO remember her from Eden’s Crush! I…have their album somewhere. Sue me, I loved that show! I was watching a little of Best Week Ever before I left to Denver yesterday and what is with the confusion of being a whore with having independence and power? It’s like rappers confusing wealth with material goods. Yes you have a platinum coated ferret but who in the fuck is going to buy a PLATINUM COATED FERRET?! There is no resale value in that! Just like women using the Pussycat Dolls as role models. They aren’t role models, they are entertainers. There is nothing powerful about dressing and dancing like a stripper if you don’t get paid handsomely for it. Think about that next time you get your grind on for a free drink or just to prove you can have a man in the palm of your hand. Unless you got twenty dollars for it, you just wasted your time and are a little deader inside.

Eh, that had been pissing me off for a few minutes. People getting awards for being mediocre to shitty at what they do just because they are attractive. I am SO LOOKING AT JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE. Now don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against Justin. I like some of his music. However, there really isn’t anything special about him. He’s not hotter than Usher, he can’t dance a good as Bi and he can’t sing like the dudes from EXILE (more on them in a minute). He is literally an average dude with an ego. Oh, and he is white which helps out a lot. J-Tim may be better looking than me, but he thinks he’s Gackt. And let me tell you something, homeboy. YOU ARE NO GACKT!

Back on EXILE. You may not know who they are. You fucking should. This is what a boy band should sound like. They aren’t really a BOY BAND as much as they are a MAN BAND but still. Funky fresh dance moves + smooth R&B beats + groovy dance tracks = best band out there right now. I had ‘Lover’s Again’ on my MySpace page for a while and I just got their album and WHOA. Check out ‘Evolution’ their newest single from the ‘Prison Break’ TV show:

Good stuff.

Well, after last nights horrible weather debacle (good god, Monument Hill was horrible) I am gonna head outside again for a while. Oh, and FUCK CONGRESS. Daylight savings time three weeks early? THAT WILL HELP OUT THE ECONOMY. Aside from the costs companies have to incur to make all the changes to their systems to accommodate this change, I mean. If it pointless to Indiana, it’s pointless to me. Stay up, peeps. Be sure to vote for Douchebrawl! Only about four hours left until the Regional Finals begin!!

Chachi Out!

Don't Stop The Rockin'!

I’m back, and better than ever! Well, it is Friday again (WHOO-HOO!) and 300 is out tonight! The Host is also playing in Denver, thinking about heading up and pulling a double-dip. Well before that, the peeps know what time it is. It is time for the…

CHACHI TOP 20 VIDEO COUNTDOWN!!

Let’s get started!

20. Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend (New Entry)

Okay, I know what you are thinking. Well, here is a little known fact: I liked Avril Lavigne’s second album. I admit, what wanna fight about it? I also liked ‘Falling Down’ and ‘Things I’d Never Say’ as well so I have a track record of secretly listening to Avril. Well…this song is WAY TOO CATCHY. Oh, and the video is kinda hot. Okay, very hot.
19. Young Jeezy – I Love It (Last Week #15)
So The Snowman has almost melted. Jeezy is on his way out of the Countdown and it was a pretty good run (two weeks at #2) for him. Hell, I even dig ‘Go Getta’ (still the illest beat out right now aside from DJ Khalied’s “We’re Taking Over”) but it has R.Kelly. And FUCK R.KELLY!
18. Monkey Majik feat m-flo – Picture Perfect (Last Week #20)
Monkey Majik moves up two spots this week! I just got their discography so far and I must say I am rather impressed. Not too bad for Canadians. I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I love Canadians. Bret Hart’s Canadian and I would punch a small child if he told me to. Really Bret, just say the word. SERIOUSLY.
17. Justin Timberlake – What Goes Around, Comes Around (Last Week #18)
So the rumor is true. J-Tim DID dis Prince and that is NOT COOL. Prince is to music what Street Fighter II is to fighting games. The greatest of all fricking time. Because of that, combined with the awesomeness of this video, he moves up one spot. Wanted to take this out but…you know…Scarlett is kind of hot.
16. Halcali – Look (Last Week #11)
The ladies of Halcali fall five big spots and are on the verge of falling off of the Countdown. It has been a hella long time since Bacon was released (Yes that is the name of their album) and I haven’t seen hide nor hair of a video for ‘Lights, Camera, Action’ yet. Quit teasing!!
15. Nelly Furtado – Say It Right (Last Week #13, #1 for three weeks)
Damn, Ms. Furtado is STILL hanging around! Yet, I still watch this video rather often and this song is on every MP3 mix I make. This is now officially the biggest video of the year so far and the longest reigning video ever on the Countdown! Now, for another record breaker…
14. Home Made Kazoku – Nagaraboshi ~Shooting Star~ (New Entry)

Home Made Kazkou makes a HUGE splash in their first entry into the Countdown by themselves! They charted last year with May J, Pushim and Rhymester but they make a splash with this kickass closing theme from Naruto: Shippuuden. I just got this video Wednesday (Thanks to Roxanne at Jpop N Kpop for this one! I owe you BIG TIME!) and you KNOW the mp3 is on the iPod! This is also the highest debut EVER by a new entry (UVERworld debuted at #15 in November) and it is well deserved. J-pop fan or not, this is good music right here.
13. UVERworld – Zero no Kotae (Last Week #16)
Speaking of good music! UVERworld moves up another three spots this week! Two weeks and counting until the ‘D-Technolife’ intro hits Adult Swim! Trust me, if you watch Bleach you will be blown the fuck away by that song. Well worth staying up until the ASSCRACK OF DAWN IF YOU LIVE IN COLORADO! 1am?! Bullshit. Anyway, good stuff peeps.
12. Yui – Rolling Star (Last Week #6, #1 for three weeks, Plunge of the Week)
First, the bad news. Yui falls a staggering SIX SPOTS out of the Top 10 for the first time since December. I have said it once I will say it again; this song acoustic is mind-blowing. Ladies with acoustic guitars are H-A-W-T. Don’t feel bad Yui fans…
11. Yui – CHE.R.RY (Last Week #14)
…Because the good news is Yui is a step away from the Top 10 again with another video! So I got this single a few days ago and yeah. Yui’s voice rules. I got a video of kind of an Unplugged show and she seems like a nice young lady. Speaking of Unplugged….I like Korn’s Unplugged show. Watching it now and yeah it kicks ass. Nothing to do with Yui, but still check it out. We enter the Top 10!
10. Hinoi Team – Dancin’ and Dreamin’ (Last Week #12)

And what a way to enter! Whoa, that is not innuendo laden. Just sounds like it. The ladies of Hinoi Team break into the Top 10 for the first time! Making up for not being able to have ‘Now And Forever’ on here because…you know. If you don’t know, I wont tell you. Anyway, congrats!
9. Game feat. Kanye West – Wouldn’t Get Far (Last Week #10)

The Game moves up another spot this week with his third video on the Countdown! With the ‘Hyphy Movement’ not taking off like I thought it would (The Pack FUCKING SUCKS) The Game is the only real rapper from the West Coast making noise. Aside Snoop and that nigga can kiss my ass. I said it. Fuck him. They cancel Undergrads but Doggy-Fizzle and that Nick Cannon show get syndication or picked up for a second season?! Eat if, assholes! Sorry…I gets mad sometimes.
8. T.I. feat Young Jeezy, Young Dro, Big Kuntry, & B.G. – Top Back (Remix) [Last Week #5, two weeks at #1]
T.I. falls back three spots this week after holding down the Number One spot for half a month. Have you seen the Chevy commercial where Black people crash a NASCAR event? Part of me wants to be happy, the other part wants to cry. NASCAR sucks ass and is hella boring. Hmm…hip hop sucks ass and is hella boring. Shit, lets mash them up like mashed potatoes and peas!
7. TERIYAKI BOYZ feat Kanye West – I Still Love H.E.R. (Last Week #8)
Go VERBAL, it’s your birthday! The Boyz move up a spot and close in on the Top Five! Also, Kanye West is working on his next album and reports are (RUMORS!) that the TERIYAKI BOYZ will be on it. Can I get a fuck yeah? Fuck yeah.
6. Bennie K – 1001 Nights (Last Week #9)
So I got the single the other day (Once again, thank you Roxanne. I owe you a Coke or something) and all I can say is that ‘Echo’ kicks EVEN MORE ASS than this song does. Here is to hoping there is another Bennie K album sooner than later. And to hoping that Cico decides to show off her hips a little bit more. She has some movement in the backcourt if you get my drift. Man, how many innuendos can I create for shaking hips?
5. May J feat. VERBAL – Here We Go (Last Week #3)
NOOOOOO!! May J falls two more spots this week. She does stay in the Top 5 though. I am WAITING for a new video from you, woman! Why do you ignore me?! I mean, I stopped leaving the notes and gave you back your puppy! If that doesn’t say love what the hell does?! Dammit…
4. John Legend – PDA (We Just Don’t Care) (Last Week #7)
Yeah, you know it. John Legend does a little bit of a leapfrog and hops into the Top 5 for the third time, tying UVERworld. This is one of the few love songs I like right now (not emotional, actual love songs that make me want to talk to the opposite sex) and it is a doozy. Good stuff by Mr. Legend as usual. No, into the Top Three!
3. Daughtry – It’s Not Over (Last Week #4)

How does Paula Abdul 2.1 keep fucking surviving on American Idol?! MOTHERFUCKERS VOTED OFF SUNDANCE INSTEAD OF HIM!! Fuck you, America. Fuck you. You can’t ruin this. Daughtry makes the Top Three with his first video EVER! No first time artist has ever made it this high (Yui had two videos before Rolling Star in case you wanted to question that)! And even though he didn’t win American Idol (which has proven that Democracy doesn’t work) he is a winner here and that is all that matters!
2. Evanescence – Lithium (Last Week #2)

Amy Lee and company stand pat at Number Two this week. This seems AWFULLY familiar. These guys got caught behind the juggernaught that was John Legend’s Save Room and couldn’t take the top spot. Well, with Evanescence at number two that means there is a returning champ at Number One…
1. Namie Amuro – Baby Don’t Cry (Last Week #3, #1 for two weeks)

Evanescence, meet the juggernaught. Namie Amuro may have a vice-grip on the Top Spot after all! I still jam on this song and the video, in all its simplicity, is freaking brilliant. Great video, great song and two time champ. Congrats, Namie!

Well, that is all for today. Douchebrawl is still going on so let your vote be counted! The Suckass Sixteen ends on Sunday night so get your choices in! Also, be sure to see 300 tonight! Spartans rule, everyone else DROOLS! Until Sunday night, stay up peeps!

Chachi Out!