What is up, peeps?! This week will be a short one due to the Memorial Day holiday and whatnot. I don’t care whether you enjoyed it or not seeing as how you bastards don’t recognize the sacrifices made by those of us in the Console Wars. We lost many a good soldier in that war. Vectorman…that dude from ActRaiser…ToeJam from “ToeJam & Earl” and of course Diddy Kong. Poor son of a bitch stepped on a B-Bomb. We thought he had enough time because it was supposed to flash…and it was the last thing he ever saw. Rest in pixilated peace, my good simian. Rest in pixilated peace.
Man, Japan gets cooler yet weirder by the day. With that said it is time for the second installment of…
101 Things That Piss Me The Hell Off!
Okay, I will try to do this so that the last one is in June but it all depends. These are rather easy so there may be one a day.
89. Conspiracy Theorists: Okay, I think that people need to understand that the government is out to get everyone. So the fuck what? Republicans need to shut the fuck up with the Socialism bullshit (Which is conveniently mistaken with “facism” but what can one expect from people too busy loving their guns th do research on shit) and hippies just need to take a fucking bath…and then kill themselves. Unless you plan on doing something about it (That doesn’t involve smoking hemp or talking about seceding in which good-fucking-riddance) you need to shut the fuck up and take that shit back to the factory.
88. Fanny Packs: Really? Who the fuck needs these anymore? Unless you are a weight lifter or a drug dealer you have no need for a fanny pack. Unless you want to be a queer.
87. Radio: You know, I set my alarm with the radio rather than the buzzer and I hit the snooze button a lot. Why is it always the SAME FUCKING SONG? I mean we all love Fergie as much as the next person but if I have to hear “Boom Boom Pow” one more motherfucking time I am going shove a baby up her meth encrusted gully-hole. So sick of this shit.
86. People With Birds As Pets: Birds aren’t pets. They are food. Get the fuck over it. As for the bald eagle; the more extinct the bird the better that son-of-a-bitch tastes with a biscuit and mashed potatoes.
85. Nebraska: You ever been? I have. And it sucks the balls dry. Except for Anime Nebraskon which I will be attending this year. Anyone down to roll wit’ Chef?!
84. John Cena: You know, watching Hulk Hogan overcome impossible odds was fun because it was the 80’s and Hulk Hogan was FUCKING HULK HOGAN. John Cena, you are no Hulk Hogan. You aren’t even Horace Hogan. I hate you so much and I refuse to watch any match with you in it.
83. The Verizon Wireless Guy: Yeah, Verizon has never worked for me and whenever I see this nerdy shit I want to kill his family right in front of him. Then fuck his dog. Yeah, I said it. MIKE VICK AINT GOT SHIT ON ME! I kid…kind of. I still hate his ass.
82. NPR: You know Patton Oswalt put it best about NPR. You want to support it due to the far-right douchebaggery of Conservative radio but man it is just FUCKING UNLISTENABLE! Just sad and hopeless dribble bookended by liberal rhetoric and GAY ASS HIPPIE FUCK FUCKWITS! God, makes me ashamed to be a…non…Conservative…Democrat…hating…Black dude. I’m a man without a country.
81. Rabid Dipshit Sports Fans: Okay, I like sports. Hell, I would call myself an avid fan. But at what point is drunken douchery accepted because it is a sporting event? You know who you are and no one gives a fuck about your team. Unless you are a soccer hooligan you are a FUCKING PUSSY and you should act as such. Until I see NFL riots you fans are all fucking sissies. And not the good kind like in San Francisco that do hair and love musicals. I mean the bad ones that watch Gossip Girl and love that douchefuck from Twilight. Which BTW, will be on here but a lot higher.
80. Inspirational Posters With Cats on Them: Yeah…no. I love cats as much as the next person. Not as much as I love collies but my love is up there. The posters need to stop because if you are inspired by a cat dangling on a rope then you should be inspired by a dog dangling from Mike Vick’s arms…in a rear naked choke. It’s kind of the same!
Alright, I need to head to bed if I want to make it to work before 10AM again. Man, it is gonna be rough this weekend. Either way I will try to be back up this week before the Countdown on Friday. BTW, I want to see Pixar’s “Up!” in 3D on Friday if anyone is interested.
Until then, stay up.
Chachi Out
