Think Of The As Tomorrow Eastern TIme.

Alrighty, peeps. Here are the newest rankings, hot off the presses!

The 2nd Annual Tom Cruise Douchebrawl 2007 Updated Doucheology Rankings!!

The 50 Cent Musicians Region

1. Bono (Last Week #1)
2. Diddy (Last Week #2)
3. Eminem (Last Week #4)
4. R. Kelly (Last Week: Unranked)
5. Clay Aiken (Last Week #3)
6. Toby Keith (Last Week #5)
7. Nelly (Last Week #6)
8. Fergie (Last Week #13)
9. Fall Out Boy (Last Week #7)
10. The Fray (Last Week #8)
11. Dave Matthews Band (Last Year #9)
12. James Blount (Last Week #10)
13. Snoop Dogg (Last Week #12)
14. Akon (Last Week # 11)
15. Nickelback (Last Week: Unranked)
16. Gwen Stefani (Last Week #14)

Out: Usher, Cowboy Troy

A HUGE jump in the rankings this week. I cannot believe I forgot the King of R&Pee! Man, I almost screwed that up BIG TIME. Oh, and he did a song with Bow Wow. Way to go after the adult market, asshole. Yes, I know that is hypocritical with my Hinoi Team love but I don’t want to PEE ON THEM. Also, Fergie’s mannish ass moves into the upper echelon of the brackets. My god…the is more manly than Clay Aiken. Not hard to do, but still. Eminem also moves up after getting (reportedly) re-engaged (remarried) to Kim. I’m not against that (You know how I feel about the problem women. I loves them) I am more upset he still makes music with Fiddy. Oh, and Fiddy is threatening me with a new album in March. Man, someone should really shoot him…again. Nickelback makes its debut this week! Yeah, I don’t have anything against them but Zach demanded it for the most part. A vote is a vote. As it sits, its them vs. Diddy in the first round. The NCAA’s has had a #15 seed over a #2 seed in 13 of the last 14 years (If I’m not mistaken. Can someone check into that? Rick, I’m looking at you) so you never know!

The George Lucas Actor/Actress Region

1. Mel Gibson (Last Week #1)
2. Ashton Kutcher (Last Week #2)
3. Nick Cage (Last Week #4)
4. George Clooney (Last Week #3)
5. Ben Affleck (Last Week #5)
6. Jack Black (Last Week #6)
7. Leonardo DiCaprio (Last Week # 7)
8. Colin Farrel (Last Week # 8)
9. Heath Ledger (Last Week #9)
10. Hayden Christensen (Last Week #10)
11. Russell Crowe (Last Week #11)
12. Paul Walker (Last Week #12)
13. Julia Roberts (Last Week #13)
14. Benicio Del Toro (Last Week #14)
15. Brad Pitt (Last Week #15)
16. Vin Diesel (Last Week #16)

(Outs: None)
Only change is Nick Cage moving ahead of George Clooney into the Number 3 spot. I am seeing Ghost Rider this weekend at some point, so that will determine whether he moves up to #2. Mel is set at Number One, though. Still another week to go but this region looks pretty set.

The Heather Graham Trollop Whore Region

1. Paris Hilton (Last Week #1)
2. Britney Spears (Last Week #3)
3. Tara Reid (Last Week #2)
4. Angelina Jolie (Last Week #4)
5. Nicole Ritchie (Last Week #5)
6. Lindsay Lohan (Last Week #6)
7. Jessica Simpson (Last Week #8)
8. Tyra Banks (Last Week #9)
9. Pamela Anderson (Last Week #10)
10. Katie Holmes (Last Week #14)
11. Cameron Diaz (Last Week #7)
12. Janet Jackson (Last Week #11)
13. Kumi Koda (Last Week #12)
14. Drew Barrymore (Last Week #15)
15. Jennifer Lopez (Last Week #13)
16. Paula Abdul (Last Week #16)

(Outs: None)
Okay, there is FINALLY some stability in this bracket. Aside from Tara Reid falling (just like in real life) a bit and Jessica Simpson moving up with the ‘Stripperella’ look everything if falling into place. J-Lo fell a bit (her new video is stupid, btw) and Katie Holmes is moving up after the attempt at ‘dancing’ much like the Al Gore/Tipper fiascos in election. Remember the ‘kissing’ a few years back? Eeeewww. Aside from that, unless the peeps have input I like how this looks.

The Andy Dick Fucktard Region

1. Kevin Federline (Last Week #1)
2. Peyton Manning (Last Week #15)
3. Nick Cannon (Last Week #2)
4. Quentin Tarrentino (Last Week #4)
5. Wilmer Valderrama (Last Week #5)
6. Flavor Flav (Last Week #6)
7. Terrell Owens (Last Week #3)
8. Ryan Seacrest (Last Week #7)
9. Bill O’Rielly (Last Week #10)
10. John Cena (Last Week #12)
11. Verizon Guy (Last Week #8)
12. David Spade (Last Week #9)
13. Alec Baldwin (Last Week #11)
14. Ray J (Last Week #15)
15. Rex Grossman (Last Week: Unranked)
16. Carson Daly (Last Week #13)

Oh wow, this has to be a Douchebrawl first. Peyton Manning jumps ALL THE WAY TO NUMBER TWO after the Super Bowl win. I have nothing against the Colts, but if there ever was a player that embodied a mascot, it is Peyton ‘El Kabong’ Manning. Also Rex Grossman takes the place of Jimmy Kimmel because…Rex Grossman is high on smack or something because he pulled a Chris Chandler on Sunday. Aside from that, like I said things look okay to me unless the peeps have input.

That is all for today. I will be back up on Friday for the Chachi Top 20 Countdown. There are three debuts, so there is a little spoiler action for you! I will try to have mock brackets up this weekend so make you choices on who you want in or out before the 16th! However, before I go...

Long ago, a war was waged between two of the most feared factions waged in a war that created was so awesome that is created what scientist call ‘The Big Bang’ and what Christians call…not…The Big Bang. The aftermath of the battle was so devastating that the two sides decided for the safety (and the lameness) of humanity that their battles would take place in secret. However, after the violent death of a leader of one side at the Battle of the Arena Bands in 1985 (Won by the ultimate of arena bands, Foreigner) the battles now take place in the plain sight of mortals. Very few have been able to view these battles first hand but those that do have reportedly had their eyes melted out by its uber-greateness. Today peeps, I give you a view of one of these wars. I give to you an account of the age old battle between…

PIRATES AND NINJAS!!!

Now you ask ‘How do pirates and ninjas fight? One is the most dominant force on land while the other is the most dominant force on sea! First off…who in the hell do you think you are questioning me?! Second off, because of that they decided to fight the way of the Gods. They way battles were intended to be fought. Not with knives, guns, missiles or mix tapes. But in the most natural of forms.

DANCE.

Yeah, I will be at Otakon this year. Hook or by crook. It's like a fucking nerd Mecca over there; I would finally belong! I will go and I shall be their king...

Chachi Out.