It's my first rant, everyone. Be forewarned, my rants will be obscenity laced. So reader discretion blah-blah-blah-yakkity-smackity. If this offends you, you may not want to be here for my Paris Hilton rant.....
I am just going to go past a lot of back story for a minute and get right to my rant. Despite several accusations, these are NOT reasons I hate Fiddy:
-He's swollen up like a bum fighting bodybuilder.
-He wears those G-Unit Corset/Wifebeaters
-He glorifies gun violence yet attempts to damn it in the SAME SENTENCE.
-He sounds like Chunk from The Goonies
-He spent 2 years dogging Ja Rule for being 'hip pop', yet name one song he has done that is typical a street anthem? Is 'Candy Shop' or 'Disco Inferno' for the thugs? Squirrel please!
-He looks like King Kong (scaled correctly to boot)
-All his songs are the same song. (In his defense, all rap sounds like 'Booty booty butt-cheeks!' to me, but still)
-He is (sadly) in a position to put a new face and style on rap music, but just does what will help him get G-Unit spinning rims. I am honestly surprised tdidn'the didn't jump on that one. It sells itself.
Those are reasons I don't LIKE Fiddy, but not reasons I HATE him. Hate is a strong word, and I'm not a fan at tossing it around. That being said, I was watching MTV2 and they had a special about 8 Mile 8 Furious....I mean Get Rich or Die Tryin' and he was talking some nonsense about all his songs being about death. I turned around thinking he had some revelation as he began to talk about a song he made about birthdays. He said something along the lines of 'When one life ends, you know, another one begins. So this song is special to me'. I was almost ready to look at this man in a new light when I realized the only song this jerkass made with birthdays in it was....and then he went into a half-assed live rendition of 'In Da Club'. Yeah, 'It's Yo Birfday really sums up the life cycle, doesn't it.
Well, those who that have known me for more than a minute know that I have kind of given up on rap music in general. Aside from maybe a few artists that I can tolerate, rap as a genre overall is in a downturn and bastardization been bastardized into 'urban culture' and catchphrases. What do I mean? Three words: YEAH! WHAT?! OKAY! Nuff said. I also would have accepted 'I'm lovin it.' Now 50 Cent isn't the only one that has created this problem, but in my opinion he is the one that has blown the hip hop culture and rap music into this crapfest I have to deal with today. I am willing to guarantee more people know who Curtis Jackson is than Curtis Mayfield. And that is a goddamn shame. Pusherman is a better song tmonstrositiesurtis's monstrosites.
Back to Fiddy (as he is referred to in Nigga-ese). My dislike for him started long ago, when I got a sampler for an Omar Epps/L.L. Cool J shit-storm of a movie that I can't remember (a piece of key lime pie for the person that can tell me that movie). It had the track 'How To Rob', a track where Fiddy in all his lyrical prowess raps about how he would rob hip-hop's biggest names. {http://www.wmacstudios.com/50-cent/how-to-rob.html} Now I am all for self promotion. However, anyone that listened to this crap and said, 'This nigga is the next Redhead Kingpin, let's sign him!' should have been beaten to death with a Common CD.
I know people are free to listen to and like whatever (hell, I still like Oaktown 357musicalan't say much about muscial taste) but I know what is bad. He's bad and his music is bad for you. I leave with this: I remember going on a Fiddy rant in college in my Ethnic Studies class with a ain't black people (Colorado ain't D.C. when it comes to diversity) and they told me to blame Eminem because he signed him and it all lies in the hands of whites with money. Hip hop is based of money and if you sell, you star. That is an interesting theory. Well, do we blame the Philadelphia Eagles front office for SIGNING Terrell Owens? Or do we blame T.O.'s stupid ass for acting a fool and losing his job? Exactly. I could blame Eminem for buying his hustle or I can blame the hustler. A hustler is just as guilty as the person that buys his product, my friends.
Chachi out.
Next Rant: 1/20/2006
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