Friends, Where Would We Be Without Them? JAIL!

Yes, the kid is back! Well, the kid is now a man but that aint important. I left you for OVER A FUCKING YEAR AND THAT IS NOT COOL. So with that being said I will try to be back up more. Every day will be rough but once a week is doable. Besides, so much ridiculousness happens in a week around me that I will definitely have something to put up because…people don’t know how to fucking act. Speaking of not knowing how to fucking act, that brings me to something that has been kind of straining my patience over the last two years or so. I don’t know when this concept of the “friend zone” became one that I should even give a shit about but all of a sudden I am having to deal with it and I kind of figured I was too old for this shit. You see, a friend is a friend to me. Whether male for female. I treat them all the same…at least I want to…or at least I try to. You see, something about having a female friend makes they dynamic a little more complicated and I used to think it was because: “Oh no, what happens if one day I want to pull a reverse Prince and WANT to take the place of her man?!” Why does Prince hate the YouTube so much?! Anyway, I used to always think I had to balance the act of having a friend that I could be friends with and the fact that she is a woman and you need to treat a woman differently because of the whole male/female dynamic (Sexual tension, significant others, etc.) to make sure she is comfortable. Then I realized something: if you are in a friendship when you have to cater to that person at the detriment to yourself…they really aren’t a good friend. Now with that being said, let’s look at this logically. I have male friends. Not many that I can FUCKING STAND but I do. Sorry, UFC is stupid. I like boy bands. Only one has men frolicking around in bodily fluids with the same sex. Who’s gay NOW? Well, aside from Lance Bass. Back to the point. My male friends may have a significant other. Wife, girlfriend, boyfriend whatever it may be. Do I ever have to point out that our friendship is “strictly platonic?” Even if they are single, do they ever have to let it be known that “Hey, we are close but I don’t like you in that way?” NO Yet, why is it that when it comes to females things have to become a tad bit more difficult? First off, I have some female friends. Most of them piss me off to no end because women are the devil in general but I am no walk in the park so I can’t talk about being difficult to be friends with. Now if she has a significant other, I understand that there may need to be parameters set because the other person may not feel comfortable with that person hanging out with you at a detriment to the relationship. Understandable, accepted and noted without question. With THAT being said, there seems to be an upturn in females who have male friends solely for attention. Don’t get me wrong, that is no different than a man having a lot of women he hangs out with to look like Chris Brown minus the uppercuts but how many of those women KNOW about each other? They usually don’t because once they know about other women they turn into cats and even if they don’t even want the toy or even to be petted they must have it because someone else has it. Make sense? If it doesn’t, you are doing it. Some women, not all, have male friends just because it makes them feel good about the attention that men give. Knowing that rather than being with another female, they are with them whether it be from a strictly platonic standpoint (Rare, but happens) or because he is just waiting for her man to make a bad RGIII-like cut or for her to have one too many Long Island Iced Teas (Previous readers know that reference) makes her feel special. This is not ALWAYS the case and I know that. I will say….that has been the case a lot in my experience. That is where I believe that women lose track of the thought of having “guy friends” You see, there is a difference between being one of many friends and one of many “options” and that is how from the outside it looks that women are doing. Men do it to, but that is another post which is coming soon and I have a lot to say about that shit because I was guilty of it myself. Now this is going to get highly generalized and I HATE generalizations but hear me out on this one. You ever go to a bar and see a table of 5 people and its four guys and one girl watching a football game? I am willing to put a Shasta on the fact that at LEAST three of those dudes hang out with her because they want to have the sex with her. Now that isn’t her fault in the slightest. However…she knows that. I give women a lot of credit (Recently I realize I give them more credit than I SHOULD but that is another post) and I believe they are smart enough to know when a man is interested in them, even if it’s a friend. Most women who see that and are not interested in being anything more than friends let them know right up front and that is very honorable. However, I have seen women that have those men around strictly as a reason to: 1. Keep their current boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife in line 2. Yep, women like options. Which is fine, I love shoes and buffets. As a man, it is also their own fool fault because if they are willing to stand in a line to hope to be the next one that gets to ride the pink teacup ride (Or Big Gulp for some of you girls. You know who you are!) then more power to you. That being said, just because you can doesn’t make it the best thing to do. It is not hard to see when someone is doing that to you and it makes you a little bit leery of trying to make those kinds of friends in the future. Also, because men think that all they are is a line in the harem of her choosing the have embraced that and just say what they need to say and do what they need to do until it is their turn to put their quarter in. Hence why women say that they can’t just have a “guy friend” anymore because all they want to do is have sex with them. Your sisters made it that way. One last thing before I go about the friend zone. I personally have never been a fan of the term because something became very clear to me about five years ago: if a woman has to do something to put you into (Like say “I value that our friendship!” which means “We aint fucking!” which I am all good with) or actually STATE that you are in the “friend zone” then she likely isn’t a good friend. The simple fact is this: a lot of times men are friends with a female because they are a great friend but even if there WAS a chance for something more…you got an issue. An issue that would require hitting you with a Rainmaker Clothsline: Japan, you know how to discipline. Anyway, there is something that we know isn’t going to work from a relationship side but doesn’t really effect the friendship side of things. Yep, sometimes men value a good friendship over a broken relationship. Shocking but true. Well, I will admit I am getting back into the swing of blogging again so it may take a few times to get back into form. But I will and when I do…SEX LADIES IN THE HOUSE COVER YOUR ASS! That’s all for now. Be back next week! Chachi Out.