So last night I had a discussion with Griff about the worst rap songs ever. We tossed out a lot of names. P. Diddy, LL. Cool J, Nelly, Mase's whole body of work. All these artists made really crappy rap songs. But seeing how this is Throwback Thursday, I am gonna kick the 90's whack jams for you guys. I bring to you the Throwback Thursday 'Throw It Back' Tracks. The worst rap songs that odds are you haven't heard of. But if a song sucks and no one hears it, it still sucks. Deep, I know.
First off, we have Oaktown 357. Now back in the day I had all of MC Hammer's albums (hell, I still have my copy of his Active Duty, more out of pity than anything else) but I never got into Oaktown's album. Why? Because aside from Get Loose (GREATEST DANCE SONG EVER) their body of work left a lot to be desired. Below is their first single, Juicy Got'Em Crazy. Um, yeah 'juicy' is what you think it is.
Yep, they juicy ain't got ME crazy. Well, the next song was one that the second worst phrase into the American vernacular: MyBabyDaddy. Keep in mind, peeps. MyBabyDaddy is one word, no spaces and no pauses. To split the words up like normal people downplays the ignorance. To top it all off, this song was actually a HIT as women everywhere referred to the nigga they let hit it after the club without the jimmy hat as MyBabyDaddy. Even worse is that is probably the legal term now too, look at the Maury Povich Show. It's how he makes his living. Anyway, feel the ignorance.
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God, the breakdown at the end still makes me want punch a cat. Next is Vanilla Ice's I Love You. Now say what you will about the guy, EVERYONE had a copy or a dub (back when we used cassettes, baby! I refused to give up cassettes until like 1999 cuz STAY rewinding, son!) of To The Extreme. I liked Ice Ice Baby and sadly I have to admit I saw Cool As Ice. In the theater. Even still, this song sucked ass, as did the rest of the album sans Ice Ice Baby and Play That Funky Music. This song is dedicated to Jessica Alba. Cuz I love you, girl.
Hmm, as much as I can't stand L.L. Cool J (buy some Carmex, fool! Licking your lips makes it worse!) he should have sued the HELL out of Ice. He pulled a Michael Bolton for your ASS, and L.L ain't even dead. Must be how the Isley Brothers felt. Next is one that I completely blocked out. As a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fan. I really refused to acknowledge this songs existence. Yesterday, Zach bought it back to my attention. Good job, this song almost ruined my day. Check out Partners In Kryme (yes, that's the spelling peeps) and feel the T-U-R-T-L-E Power.
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Wow, the suckitude of that song is massive. AND LEONARDO WAS THE LEADER, YOU ASS! This next to last one is a song I got from a CD sampler back in 1998 if I'm not mistaken. My sister got a gaggle of demo CD's free in college (Because if there is one all niggas have, its a demo CD to give you) and some of them were good. These guys weren't one of them. These suckasses are called the Hi-Town DJ's and the HI stands for 'hella ignorant' or something because this song is CRAP on a disc. Also, this song is not suitable for children. It aint suitable for ADULTS for that matter, but hey do what you gotta do. Sigh, here is 'Ring-A-Ling' by the Hi-Town DJ's.
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I'm STILL looking for a place to send the hate mail. Or the mountain lion.
News time! So they are ordering Michael Jackson to close down Neverland. If they close it, the children won't come. Not like THAT, nasty nellies. All I can say is that it is about time. All they have to do now is block R. Kelly from buying video equipment and children can sleep safe. In even sadder news....The Wayans Brothers are at again. NO NO NO NO NO! We are talking a show that could be worse than Homeboyz In Outer Space and C-Bear and Jamal COMBINED. Who keeps on letting them do stuff?! We have a black cartoon character and his name is Frylock! That is all we need, let it go!
Well, that is enough for now. Douchebrawl 2006 is open until Midnight tomorrow, in which the Final Four will begin Saturday morning and will stay open until next Friday! Tell your friends! Tell your enemies! Tell your pets! No guinea pigs, they freak me out. Oh, and VH1 should just stop playing videos and just play the I Love shows 24/7. I love this I Love Toys show. Hungry Hungry Hippos fool! What?! Well, I'm gonna finish off Shinobi. So far, this movie is pretty damn spiffy. Stay up, peeps.
That's the end. Chachi out.
No, THAT's the end. Happy Thursday everybody!
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