Debate This!

What is up, peeps! Late night blog update as I realize that the service at Old Chicago’s…not so good. Downright shitty actually. First things first, Douchebrawl is off and running and the votes as usual are low for the first round. Same as last year but I figure it to pick up as the buzz goes around again.

With that being said, I am beginning to notice as the updates are coming more frequently, the readers grow so I guess posting everyday would help. Seeing as how no woman will ever love me for who I am (and rightfully so) I will never have a real fucking social life so updating everyday doesn’t seem like that big of a deal. Hell, you guys are the closest I will ever get to a date and I appreciate that. Except for dude, we are just cool. I aint down for the reach around. With that being said, I missed the debates earlier tonight (I am watching the replay now and….this shit is whack) and as many of you know I really just wish that Hillary Clinton would do nothing but shut the fuck up. I am really….and I mean REALLY sick and tired of how people (read: WOMEN) are behind her SOLELY because she is female. And I am REALLY FUCKING SICK of how Black people are behind Obama solely because he is Black. Now I have said it before and I will say it again that voting is a right and you are free and able to make your own choice. If you want to vote for fucking Harrison Ford then by all means do so. Odds are he would do a better job than all of the candidates combined. He piloted the Millennium Falcon, you know.

With that being said, you know I voted for Barack Obama for the Caucus (or the dumbest meeting with no punch and pie ever) of Colorado but I am still undecided about my Presidential choice. Here are a few things to take to heart:

Hillary Clinton: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND RUN YOUR RACE.

Seriously. You are losing votes because you are beginning to look like a desperate candidate. As much as I don’t want to vote for you, it isn’t all lost. One thing about politics that the American people (now I am generalizing here so correct me if I am wrong) don’t want to hear about what the other candidate CANT DO. They want to hear what you CAN DO. From what I can tell and heard, you have barely done that. You have spent time getting in an “Oh no you di-ent!” battle with Obama. You can talk about your non-existent record (I don’t care if you were married to a President. It takes ideas to lead and you don’t have any. No offense, just speaking my mind) about being ready to be President the consensus view is that you are running off your husband’s name and they whole first woman president thing. I know that because you mention it all the damn time. That should not be your fucking focus! Obama RARELY talks about being the first Black President (because his ass WILL get shot, sadly) and talks about how he is different and how he is the face of change from the status quo that not only reigned in Bush’s Presidency but Bill Clinton’s final four years as well. You need to show that you aren’t like everyone else. Not only because you are a woman but because you are a breath of fresh air with new ways to make this country the superpower it was before. Focusing of the negative of your candidate and sticking to points that aren’t relevant to the election itself makes you look petty and weak. Focus on your gameplan and then implement it on your opponent.

Barack Obama: WHAT DO YOU DO?!

Obama, you are a great speaker. I mean JFK meets Bill Clinton meets Rick James speaker. You have taken an obvious strike against you (Your dumb ass health care plan. Helllllloooooo socialism!) and made it look like it was (almost) a good idea. At least better than Hillary’s even dumber ass idea. You are literally a fresh face into politics with new ideas about how we should focus our actions in America to make us not only better here but abroad as well. You have great ideas to reward college students and make the workforce strong that should create a boost in the economy. You have a plan (albeit tried and FAILED) about how to bring the troops home. You have ideas on how to create a united front in the war on terrorism by re-building the ties with our allies to relieve the stress of our military. You have a great plan and you position it well against Hillary which is why you are leading in delegates and have a head of steam going into next week’s primaries. There is one big ass problem with you…

HOW?

You have not ONCE said how we are going to fulfill all these ideas you have. You know who Obama reminds me of? A coach with an awesome gameplan and no players to make it work. What you want to do with America is great an you have the Democratic fanbase (as well as some independents and jaded Republicans) buying into it. Has anyone heard a HOW he is going to make all of this work? Before you secure a vote for President you have to give insight on how your ideas are going to come to fruition. We need progress, not promises. You have a comfy lead but we don’t know how you are going to follow through. Give me SOMETHING and you have my vote. You sound too good to be true, and that is not good to take against McInsane (MY MAN!)

John McCain: DON’T PULL A HOWARD DEAN!

John, you HAVE THIS ON LOCKDOWN! America is NOT going to vote for a female President (At least not THIS ONE) and there is no way IN HELL America is going to vote for a colored. This is the US of A, not BET. I just don’t think they are ready for that (Surprisingly, the world is. Look at the world news and they are all OVER Obama for the next President. Shocking) for a Black President. Even though you have alienated a lot of Republicans, it doesn’t matter because they aren’t going to vote for a darkie. You HAVE THIS. Lets also not forget that Huckabee is a fucking moron who makes George Bush look like MacGyver. There is only one thing you need to do. DO NOT FLIP OUT! We do not need a Howard Dean moment from you because if you do that you will LOSE.

BYAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Got you all in check! Save the flip outs for when you are in office and you want to bomb the fuck out of Burkina Faso for looking at you funny or invading Ivory Coast because Lever 2000 is THE SHIT. You have the military experience (Which I PERSONALLY believe isn’t necessary because this isn’t medieval England where the king went into battle first. The Commander in Chief is as much a commander as I am Duke of New York A Number One) and aint gonna take shit from nobody. You have this won, even if I am not convinced yet.

At the end of the day, voting isn’t a responsibility or even really a right. It is a privilege and I believe we as Americans should research the candidates and understand that privilege. At the same time, it is a privilege to RUN for President. Candidates need to do their due diligence and respect that they need to let us know where they stand completely and how they intend to usher in their initiatives (Only McCain has done that so far). That is all we can ask for.

And White people:

STOP ASKING JESSE JACKSON ABOUT SHIT!

If you stop asking he will go away! He is not the Fuhrer of Black America so quit treating him like he is! GOD DAMMIT I HATE HIM SO MUCH! I am just waiting for a report about Obama talking about “yellow rice” and alienating the Asian vote. Or better yet, McCain saying that but in his defense I would be pretty pissy at Vietnamese people if I was locked in a room for half a decade with no Bleach. Just saying. And I am so off to bed.

*Sigh* People suck. :(