Viva la revolution, fools!

Time to get political. First off, this Penny Arcade comic pretty much sums it up. You know, as a gamer I am really against legislation and banning of games targeted for adults. I believe the job falls on the retailers and the parents to police what their children play. I'm sorry as but hard as being a parent is, parents need to understand that monitoring your children is YOUR job. Not the government, not Best Buy, and sure as hell not Rockstar. Stopping Rockstar from making games with violence isn't going to make children any less violent. It's just censorship, people. Besides, most violent video games are rarely purchased anyway due to quality. For every Grand Theft Auto, there is a 187: Ride or Die. Any kid that will buy attempt to buy a game solely because it has violence is not being parented or not that intelligent. To paraphrase Ron White, there is no fix for stupid.

Secondly, over the last two years I have purchased 11 games with MA ratings:

MGS3
Halo 2
Black
God of War
Resident Evil 4 (twice, one for GC and one for PS2)
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
MGS3: SE
Dead or Alive:SE
Gun
Rumble Roses O_o (Yeah, I bought it. And I am ashamed)

You know how many times I have been asked for my ID? Nine. Seriously. The only two times I wasn't asked was for MGS3: because it was a trade in for Gun (and I know the guy at GameStop) and Rumble Roses (probably because I disgusted the cashier and she wanted me out of her sight). So it was actually 10 out of 11. Those are great odds. So I can personally run under the assumption that retailers are asking for ID when games for players over the age of 17 are being purchased. With that being said, someone is buying these games for the children that politicians and game activists are trying to 'save'. So why isn't the issue with them? Because I am going to assume that the majority of parents actually buy these games for their children and don't really investigate what the games are about. Here is a REAL dialogue between a kid and their mother when I went to GameStop to get MGS3 on Sunday:

Kid (I am going to gauge about 11 because he had a Naruto shirt on): Oh! Mom, can I get this game?
Mother: Um...can your sister play it?
Kid: Yeah, it's co-op or multi-player!
Mother: What is co-op?
Kid: Um...
Me: 'Cooperatve Play' is the easiest way to look at it.
Kid: Yeah! We can play at the same time! Right?
Me: Yep.
Mom: Oh, okay. (At this point, a girl I will put at about 6 years old runs to her with a Animal Crossing: Wild World game for the DS)
Girl: I want this one. It looks cute.
Mother: Okay. In a second. (At this point I am having a discussion about Shadow Hearts vs. Grandia III with the clerk) Son, which game did you want?
Kid: 25 to Life, mom! (The clerk and I stop our conversation, make eye contact, and look toward the mother)
Mother: X-Box or Playstation 2? (At this point, I do the indignant hands on my hips pose like my mother did when I asked her a stupid question)
Kid: Playstation 2, mom!
Mother: Ok. (To the clerk) Let me get 25 to Life and this Animal Cross thingie. (At this point I had the gut check of whether or not to say something. I decided to give her the whatfor)
Me: Um...I don't think that game is appropriate for an 11 and 8 year old.
Girl: I'm six. (awkward pause) You like Animal Crossing?
Me: Yeah, I had it for the Gamecube. I liked it.
Girl: Wow! Thanks! (She flips through the strategy guides)
Me: Miss....say the title.
Mother: What?
Me: The title of the game. Say it again.
Mother: What, you mean '25 to Life'? (I look at her)
Me: 25 TO LIFE? (She looks at me like I'm nuts) Look at the box.
Mother: (Looking at the box) Whoa...does this M mean Mature?
Me: Yes. It's rather violent. And the game itself isn't very good. (I finish my purchase)
Mother: Oh...okay. (At this point I leave)

Now this is not a dramatization. The events were real. Needless to say, based of this discussion, I am willing to wager that this is the usual situation in how kids get violent video games. Parents purchasing them without looking at them. I know a lot of you out there will say that is not the case with MY KIDS, but guess what? You are the exception. The majority of parents do NOT pay attention to what their kids play and buy it to keep them happy and/or distracted.

It's funny to me, because I grew up during the videogame firestorm in the 90's and I had my share of violent games. You know what? I never killed anyone. I never played Doom and decided to go on a killing spree. I never played Mortal Kombat and wanted to rip someone's heart out. You know why? Because I knew my parents would do the same to me if I even thought about it. My parents didnt monitor me like a reality show. Yet, I never did anything out of the ordinary because of video games. Now I would scream 'HADOKEN' and make the fireball motion, but I knew that I couldnt ACTUALLY TOSS FIREBALLS. I played the majority of first person shooters on my computer, but at no point did I ever get a weapon and go Duke Nukem on bystanders because it is kinda wrong to kill people. Just a little.

Censoring or stopping controversial games from being produced isnt going to solve the problem. Education, safety and monitoring will. Besides, who decides what is controversial? Mario Bros. had mushroom and flowers that gave you magic powers and ducks in turtle shells. Is that REALLY controversial? God of War had naked women and violence. It is documented that the Greek gods were a violent bunch. Is being historically accurate controversial? Like I said, educate kids on what is going on in the games and if you believe they can't handle it THEN keep them from it. I find it awkward how parents don't want strangers to tell them they are being a bad parent, but by the government censoring what you feel isnt worth your time to monitor is okay. By doing that, you are saying that you can't do your job as a parent. Ignorance, it's spreading peeps.

Anyway, enough on that.

So....the end of the world has come to pass. It will be in August, and it will be the instance this movie begins:

Yep....the apocalypse is upon us. Thanks, Tecmo. You know, the fact we have seen Street Fighter, Tomb Raider. Bloodrayne, Mortal Kombat and now DOA as movies and STILL no Metal gear Solid is kind of stupid. That would be a great movie and has yet to be greenlit but Stay Alive gets made. SAD. What could be worse than a DOA movie with Devon Aoki and Jamie Priessly? Adding Tara Reid. Now THAT would have been the worst movie EVER. You know, adding Michelle Rodriguez would have helped. I know she's not a great actress, but she is like Keanu, don't give her a lot of lines and she can shine. With video game movies and how bad they are, the less dialog the better. She's not too shabby, either:

Man, I had no idea she was rocking it like that. Speaking of Michelle Rodriguez vehicles....

Who thought a movie franchise with the 'acting talents' of Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese, Ludacris and Devon Aoki (man, she is the queen of bad roles) could go downhill? Man, if Japan just decided to unleash the hell of giant robots and ninjas on them I could not blame them. We will have deserved it after that shitfest.

The only thing that can make me feel better? Verbal and Tako, fool!

M-Flo in the hizzy, and don't you forgizzy. Well, that is all for now. I gots some stuff to do. Ya'll stay up and don't forget to vote in the finals of Douchebrawl 2006! I have come up with the decision of leaving up the poll until NEXT Monday! Gives two full extra days to tell your friends! Well, stay up peeps.

Chachi out.