Friday, March 03, 2006

New Orleans ain't the only one with flooding.

Hey, ya'll. Late update today because I had some running around to do. Well, first things first: Lil Kim is having titty problems. Now I am not going to poke and ridicule her over a tragic event like I do Jesus. If it's true and her breast did rupture, she could be in for some serious health issues and with that I wish her the best. I do believe that the amount of cosmetic surgery she has had is excessive. Here is a look at Lil Kim in 1996 with 'No Time' and although it had the posterchild for abortion in P. Diddy I liked this song back then. CAUTION EXPLICIT LYRICS! Hell it's lil Kim, what did you expect?

Now this is Lil Kim now:

Quite the difference. Puberty didn't do that. Now everyone knows I am against cosmetic surgery unless truely needed. I understand that a lot of women and men get it because they feel insecure about their bodies and whatnot. Hey, to each their own. Just let it be known that if you take steps to look like this:

Things could go wrong. I'm just saying.

So I got out of Ultraviolet a couple of minutes ago. And...um...yeah. I'm not going to say it was bad, because it wasnt. It's just...Milla cannot act. She displays great emotions, she is a great action star, but when she opens her mouth....the lines just go for shit. Movies need to be tailored around her abilities like they do with Keanu Reeves. We know Keanu isn't the next Sean Connery, but most of his movies are pretty tolerable. from The Matrix series to Constantine to Devils Advocate. All were pretty good because they played to Keanu's strength: he's as vacant as a Right Said Fred comeback tour venue. All his characters are the same simple dude (except for Neo, but hey, the movie looked pretty) surrounded by better actors than him. Keanu cannot carry a movie, but he can lead. He's the Trent Dilfer of movies: won't win you any games, but won't royally fuck up and cost you. That's what they should do with Milla. Remember The Fifth Element? SHE DIDNT EVEN SPEAK 'ANGLISH! And she rocked in that. Keep her lines to a minimum and let her expressions and actions speak. All in all, Ultraviolet is worth the ticket for the martial arts and the scenery. Better than Aeon Suex by leaps and bounds.

Speaking of Mr I Know Karate, this A Scanner Darkly will KICK ASS. Why? Because Keanu odds are won't be saying a lot.

I know I may be the only one, but I've always though Winona Ryder was cute. Even in Edward Scissorhands (that was before Johnny Depp became OMFG JOHNNY DEPP to me) I was like 'she looks like a very nice girl, I would like to take her out for punch and pie.' Not the standard girl I would find saucy, but yeah, I'm still digging Winona.

Like a sexy elf. Sue me, I digs it.

So Kate Winslet hasnt been in anything lately. Saw her ad before Ultraviolet and yeah, I likes her too. She made Titanic and Spotless Mind tolerable.

Ah, Kate how I love thee. Well, I'm off to see Chappelle's Block Party. Don't forget to vote for Douchebrawl! Stay up, peeps.

Chachi out.

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