Okay…as you have noticed the Chachi Music Award Nominees ARE NOT HERE. Your eyes aren’t deciving you, I just have been way too tired this week. After a long Friday (Vesper + soju + hangin with KC = fun times, albeit tiring) and an even LONGER Saturday (3:17am...yeah, never again) and a rollercoaster of a game between the Falcons and Bucs in which I nearly had a kitten three times but the ATL finally pulled it out in OT. So long story short it was a long ass weekend and WAY TOO FUCKING SHORT as I have to go to work tomorrow. However, since the nominees are about 50% completed anyway. Actually 100%, I just need to type everything up so I may post them on Saturday after I come back from Denver Friday night. If anyone is interested hitting D-Town let me know.
Also, I have decided NOT to do the Omnibus until the end of the year for two reasons:
1. I want 10 questions and I only have five. Keep’ em coming!
2. I am taking the advice of a certain someone and going to figure out a way to put my blogs in video form. I am not really videogenic so…yeah, I’m working on that part.
But yes, everything has been pushed back which is per the norm in the holiday season. Last year it got like this because of training and travel and this year I am just exhausted as all hell. It’s life though.
One quick thing I want to talk about before I go. There seems to be an issue that is coming up between the gay community and the Black community over Prop 8 in California. I touched on this in a rant a few weeks ago but since CNN needs ratings, gays can't let go (Just like women) and Black people are just fucking stupid they are still talking about it. First off, understand this: the Black vote doesn't count. It worked for Ruben Studdard, it worked for Fantasia and it worked for that time they voted for the new flavor of Kool-Aid. Aside from that, Black people voting really doesn't accomplish much. So say what you will about the numbers that if Blacks had voted against Prop 8 in higher numbers that it wouldn't have passed. There is a simple reason why they voted the way they did. Black people are stupid. Trust me, I know Black people. They put $10,000 sets of rims on $5,000 cars. They wear Gucci print suits to proms and they wear jewelry and gaudy clothing that would make Elton John of the 70's look like a god damn Mormon. Everyone knows it and it aint in White people's place to say it but we all know...niggas fuck shit up for everyone. Especially the gays.
You see, my experience has showed me that Black people don't like the idea of gays getting the same rights as other minorites (Or most importantly THEM because theys selfish) because when it all breaks down, no one has to know you are gay. Now I understand this argument and even agree with it. However, since Black people rarely run off of LOGIC (Just like women. DAMN IT, I AM SCIENCE!) they don't understand that even when people don't KNOW you are gay, you still are and hiding who you are is even more painful in some cases than just being hated for who you are. Hell, when I hid the fact I was an anime nerd from a certian lady in college so she would date me it was even worse when she found out after she looked on my computer and found about 30 gigs of anime (the porn was on a backup, btw) on it. Now imagine that horror multiplied by a thousand. Yes, everyone knows you are Black and has the ability to oppress you up front, but no one is stopping you from the basic right of getting married or adopting kids. Whey anyone would want to do EITHER is beyond me but who am I to say they can't? Don't even get me started on the Bible. Oddly enough, doesnt the bible say that all people of color are evil? Yet, Black people still read and follow that dumb ass book? You see, niggas don't know logic. In closing, the gay community is barking up the wrong tree by being upset at Blacks about Prop 8 because sadly they don't care and don't want to understand why it was a bullshit proposition in the first place. But when you are dealing with a people that think 50 Cent has redeeming qualitied...you really are expecting too much. I am just saying.
Well, I will be back up at some point during this week for some nondescript reason. Until then, commence to jiggling!:
Damn, I have been laughing about this one for a few days now. SNL is only funny three times a year so they still have two left. Peace out, ya’ll.
Chachi Out
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
The Month Of The King!
I am back and on time this week! So sit back, relax and enjoy the 20 biggest videos on the planet! I give to you…
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
Let’s start with the videos that are no longer with us in Falling Out:
Hyori Lee – Hey Mr. Big! (Peaked at #3)
Alicia Keys - Superwoman (Peaked at #7)
Miss Hyori and Miss Keys fall out of the Top 20 but both still had big years. Now let’s begin with the fourth Naruto theme to make the Countdown!
20. Joe Inoue – Closer (New Entry)
Okay, so this song has officially grown on me. My love of Naruto has fallen off over the last three months or so but damn it this video is kind of cool. They remind me of Asian Kung Fu Generation but less rock, more pop. Not a bad thing though.
19. Hearts Grow – Sora (Last Week #15, Three Weeks at #1)
Looks to be their last days on the Countdown. Damn shame, they had one hell of a 2008.
18. David Cook – Light On (Last Week #20)
So I have never really looked forward to an American Idol….and I am not now. Even still, David Cook moves up two spots this week.
17. T.I. – What Up, What’s Happening (Last Week #14)
The year of TI! He is still holding on this week as he has two videos in the Top 20 and has for a good part of the beginning and end of 2008. Artist of the Year nod? Find out Sunday!
16. Aqua Timez - Velonica (New Entry)
YES! OH MY GOD YES! IT FEELS SO GOOD! Aqua Timez is back with another beginning for Bleach and god damn it is about time! It premiered this week and you know it is going to be on this bitch. NEW RINGTONE!
15. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Remember (Last Week #12)
I just saw one of their last live performances this weekend and…I am so going to miss them. IT JUST AINT RIGHT!
14. RSP with DA BUBBLE GUM BROTHERS – LA.LA.LA LOVE SONG (Last Week #16)
Just got the single and damn it this is one catchy ditty. Wasn’t really a fan of RSP until this one but I have to say, good stuff.
13. Wonder Girls - Nobody (Last Week #10, One Week at #1)
Where in the hell are the Wonder Girls?! In the USA of course! Can anyone get me tickets to their NYC or LA show? PLEASE?!
12. Nana Mizuki – TRICKSTER (Last Week #18, Biggest Mover)
Wow, big move for a first time out! Nana Mizuki has caught my attention with this video because the song is rocking and she is damn fine. Reminds me of another NaNa…
11. Young Jeezy – Crazy World (Last Week #13)
The Snowman is moving back up! Can he get his third Top 10 video before the end of 2008? He could be a sleeper pick for Artist of the Year!
10. Kanye West – Love Lockdown (Last Week #8, Two Weeks at #1)
So two new videos for Kanye and I am not sure which one I like more. Odds are the one without DJ Khaled yelling for no reason.
9. Paramore – Decode (Last Week #11)
So Paramore is back in the Top 10! It has been a while (About six months) since they have been here and although I love the video…I would prefer it not be from “Twilight.” Or as I call it “Gay Ass Vampire Party”
8. Kumi Koda – Taboo (Last Week #5)
Kumi Koda falls this week but her new video is gaining on me although like I said last week, she is looking rough in her live performances of this song. Real rough.
7. Ikimonogakari – Kimagure Romanteikku (Last Week #9)
Moving up two spots, Ikimonogakari is looking to take over as the new players on the Countdown. This is a good video to start with!
6. UVERworld – Hakanaku mo Towa no Kanashi (Last Week #7)
LIVE UVERWORLD DVD! LIVE UVERWORLD DVD! LIVE UVERWORLD DVD! Detail soon! FUCK YES, MOTHERFUCKER!
5. Halcali – LONG KISS GOODBYE (Last Week #6)
Into the Top Five and Halcali is slowly moving this week. Quite a departure from their five and six spot leaps over the last two weeks but the top is getting a bit crowded with big names…
4. Rain (Bi) – Rainism (Last Week #2)
RAIN IS FALLING! Bi falls from the runner up spot after two weeks of trying to knock off the king. The English version of this song…not bad. Not bad at all.
3. YUI – I’ll Be (Last Week #4)
Yui is back in the Top Three…once again…and I have to say she is becoming a fixture in 19 spots on this Countdown. Can she take the one spot she hasn’t had in almost two years…number one?
2. BoA – Eat You Up [Korean Version] (Last Week #3)
BoA is inching closer to the top spot! She moves up one place this week and takes over for Bi in the runner up position! Okay…I am officially feeling this song. The English is bad but that is what makes it awesome. With BoA at number two, the king is still in his throne!
1. T.I. feat Rihanna – Live Your Life (Last Week #1, Four Weeks at #1)
For one full month, the King of the South has been the King of the Countdown! It has been a big year for T.I. and now the question is: how will prison effect his position on here? He will be gone for quite a while so he is lucky to be holding on like this. All hail the king!
Well that is all for this week! Come back next week to see if TI and Rihanna can hold on for a fifth week to the top spot! Or see if BoA will eat up the competition and become the new queen! Or will Yui FINALLY move back to the top? Tune in seven days from now to find out!
Well, sushi tomorrow and odds are KARAOKE AND SOJU PARTAY! Should be fun, peeps. If you want to roll, let me know. Until then, peace out.
Chachi Out
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
Let’s start with the videos that are no longer with us in Falling Out:
Hyori Lee – Hey Mr. Big! (Peaked at #3)
Alicia Keys - Superwoman (Peaked at #7)
Miss Hyori and Miss Keys fall out of the Top 20 but both still had big years. Now let’s begin with the fourth Naruto theme to make the Countdown!
20. Joe Inoue – Closer (New Entry)
Okay, so this song has officially grown on me. My love of Naruto has fallen off over the last three months or so but damn it this video is kind of cool. They remind me of Asian Kung Fu Generation but less rock, more pop. Not a bad thing though.
19. Hearts Grow – Sora (Last Week #15, Three Weeks at #1)
Looks to be their last days on the Countdown. Damn shame, they had one hell of a 2008.
18. David Cook – Light On (Last Week #20)
So I have never really looked forward to an American Idol….and I am not now. Even still, David Cook moves up two spots this week.
17. T.I. – What Up, What’s Happening (Last Week #14)
The year of TI! He is still holding on this week as he has two videos in the Top 20 and has for a good part of the beginning and end of 2008. Artist of the Year nod? Find out Sunday!
16. Aqua Timez - Velonica (New Entry)
YES! OH MY GOD YES! IT FEELS SO GOOD! Aqua Timez is back with another beginning for Bleach and god damn it is about time! It premiered this week and you know it is going to be on this bitch. NEW RINGTONE!
15. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Remember (Last Week #12)
I just saw one of their last live performances this weekend and…I am so going to miss them. IT JUST AINT RIGHT!
14. RSP with DA BUBBLE GUM BROTHERS – LA.LA.LA LOVE SONG (Last Week #16)
Just got the single and damn it this is one catchy ditty. Wasn’t really a fan of RSP until this one but I have to say, good stuff.
13. Wonder Girls - Nobody (Last Week #10, One Week at #1)
Where in the hell are the Wonder Girls?! In the USA of course! Can anyone get me tickets to their NYC or LA show? PLEASE?!
12. Nana Mizuki – TRICKSTER (Last Week #18, Biggest Mover)
Wow, big move for a first time out! Nana Mizuki has caught my attention with this video because the song is rocking and she is damn fine. Reminds me of another NaNa…
11. Young Jeezy – Crazy World (Last Week #13)
The Snowman is moving back up! Can he get his third Top 10 video before the end of 2008? He could be a sleeper pick for Artist of the Year!
10. Kanye West – Love Lockdown (Last Week #8, Two Weeks at #1)
So two new videos for Kanye and I am not sure which one I like more. Odds are the one without DJ Khaled yelling for no reason.
9. Paramore – Decode (Last Week #11)
So Paramore is back in the Top 10! It has been a while (About six months) since they have been here and although I love the video…I would prefer it not be from “Twilight.” Or as I call it “Gay Ass Vampire Party”
8. Kumi Koda – Taboo (Last Week #5)
Kumi Koda falls this week but her new video is gaining on me although like I said last week, she is looking rough in her live performances of this song. Real rough.
7. Ikimonogakari – Kimagure Romanteikku (Last Week #9)
Moving up two spots, Ikimonogakari is looking to take over as the new players on the Countdown. This is a good video to start with!
6. UVERworld – Hakanaku mo Towa no Kanashi (Last Week #7)
LIVE UVERWORLD DVD! LIVE UVERWORLD DVD! LIVE UVERWORLD DVD! Detail soon! FUCK YES, MOTHERFUCKER!
5. Halcali – LONG KISS GOODBYE (Last Week #6)
Into the Top Five and Halcali is slowly moving this week. Quite a departure from their five and six spot leaps over the last two weeks but the top is getting a bit crowded with big names…
4. Rain (Bi) – Rainism (Last Week #2)
RAIN IS FALLING! Bi falls from the runner up spot after two weeks of trying to knock off the king. The English version of this song…not bad. Not bad at all.
3. YUI – I’ll Be (Last Week #4)
Yui is back in the Top Three…once again…and I have to say she is becoming a fixture in 19 spots on this Countdown. Can she take the one spot she hasn’t had in almost two years…number one?
2. BoA – Eat You Up [Korean Version] (Last Week #3)
BoA is inching closer to the top spot! She moves up one place this week and takes over for Bi in the runner up position! Okay…I am officially feeling this song. The English is bad but that is what makes it awesome. With BoA at number two, the king is still in his throne!
1. T.I. feat Rihanna – Live Your Life (Last Week #1, Four Weeks at #1)
For one full month, the King of the South has been the King of the Countdown! It has been a big year for T.I. and now the question is: how will prison effect his position on here? He will be gone for quite a while so he is lucky to be holding on like this. All hail the king!
Well that is all for this week! Come back next week to see if TI and Rihanna can hold on for a fifth week to the top spot! Or see if BoA will eat up the competition and become the new queen! Or will Yui FINALLY move back to the top? Tune in seven days from now to find out!
Well, sushi tomorrow and odds are KARAOKE AND SOJU PARTAY! Should be fun, peeps. If you want to roll, let me know. Until then, peace out.
Chachi Out
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Being Shallow: Inducing Vomiting Since Supermodels Hit It Big.
So to fill up some space and introduce this blog to what it USED to be when I had no fucking job or responsibilities (MAN, those days were steak sauce!), I am going to repost my rant about being shallow. Well, less of a rant and more of a surprisingly calm commentary. I think I was drunk when I posted this, which was the norm for about 70% of my posts. Oddly enough, it is why the old blogs make so much damn sense. So, enjoy the repeats! I will be back-to-back on Thursday and Friday (the latter for the Countdown) and be sure to stay tuned for the Passion of Chachi Music Awards Nominee Special this Sunday! I am also going to post the Omnibus for those of you that do ask any questions but it will more than likely be up on Monday. Read, dummies!
How Chachi Feels About:
Being Shallow
Now as many of you know, I’m a nerd. Total dweeb. One thing that I do as a nerd is look at Ctrl+Alt+Del every morning before I get going at work. It is good stuff, almost has replaced Penny Arcade as my favorite (No one can top the Merch Christmas). As a storyline driven web comic, I have liked a lot of the arcs like the Mac Panthers arc. He has a current arc where Lucas decides to get back on the dating scene and joins a Match.com like dating site. Zeke (an X-Box robot) sets him up on a date behind his back with a heavier woman. The arc basically shows how Lucas is not attracted to her but still goes out with her. Come to find out she ISN’T overweight, just wearing a fat suit and she is actually skinny. He has a good time and the end.
Tim Buckley (not like I know him so I won’t act like I do) gave an explanation this morning about why he portrayed Lucas the way he did after some e-mails from upset people. This made me think. What is wrong with being shallow anyway?
Okay, as a fat, black jerk I can honestly say that I have no reason to be shallow. Hell, I already have three strikes against me and two strikes in the second inning (being sexually ambiguous and nerd count against me, too). Yet, I think being ‘shallow’ is confused with having certain standards, right or wrong. Case in point: I don’t like skinny women. Hell, I don’t like skinny people in general. Call it jealousy, call it a preference but if I had my choice I would not date a skinny woman no matter what my size because I don’t find that initially attractive. Does that make me shallow? In terms of the way the word is used now, yes it does. Does that mean I won’t talk to that person if I like her personality? Hell no. Will that curb my physical attraction to her? Hells no because if you love someone solely based on how they look, good luck with that.
On the flip side, I also understand that I am not the ideal for most women. I’ve been told by women that they don’t find fat guys attractive. Can’t blame them for that at all. Who would I be to judge them when I do the exact same thing (albeit reversed)? It may hurt, it may suck and it may mean they miss out on the 100% Grade-A Mancake but it is their fucking choice. I have been told by one girl in particular (Who was Mormon. Bad move on MY PART) that she liked me but didn’t date black men. I was surprisingly okay with that. You know why? Because I don’t date black women, or they don’t date me spin that how you want. That was her choice and although I didn’t like it I (sadly) respected it. Even weirder was when we DID date and I met her dad when I picked her up and all he could do was stare and sloooooowly close the door in confusion. Is that shallow? No, that is a choice. I know this all too well because for a long time I wasn’t en vogue not because of my weight but because I was TOO DARK when light-skins were hot (Fuck Christopher Williams). Griff can tell you, that shit HURTS. Was it fair? No, and I will stick by that to this day because I am a SEXY SHADE OF MOCHA! I accepted it as a choice they made and to each their own.
So quite simply is being ‘shallow’ a bad thing? Well, yes and no. Just like anything there are pros and cons to being choosy. If the military took anyone and everyone that enlisted because they were desperate the drunk, ugly sorority girl at a frat party we would be….you know that joke is too easy. If you aren’t attracted to women with tattoos (Especially at the small of the back. REAL ORIGINAL) because you think that shows a personality of being weak and easily influenced then that is your choice. If you think that a guy that watches cartoons isn’t your type because it means they never grew up and shows immaturity, it is quite alright. The simple fact is that we are by nature ‘shallow’. Looks matter and that is the bottom line.
However, with people being like snowflakes being ‘shallow’ really limits you. If everyone looked alike and had the same ideal of beauty, it would be…well creepy. I don’t like all of the same traits Rick likes in a woman (we’ve been over this) but several overlap. I am not a fan big boobs (especially fake ones. CREEPY), for the most part he digs ‘em like Sugar Smacks. He isn’t about the illegal shift in the backfield but I am all about that 5-yard penalty. Yet, we both aren’t fans of tattoos or smokers. That still gives a wide spectrum of women out there that we find attractive. That being said, once you get past that, there is a very important factor that outweighs that: personality.
Now that is when being shallow can truly fuck you over. I for one am the exception to this rule because if you don’t like the cover of this book you sure as HELL aint going to like the story. If I hear another person say ‘he was cute but he was such a jerk!’ or ‘she was hot but man she was a bitch’ I will rip your lower mandible out and use it as a fucking cup holder. This is when I use the word shallow. Not to describe a person, but their PERSONALITY. A shallow personality is one that is devoid of any depth or originality. A pretty woman that has no sense of humor is not sexy. She may be a physical specimen but for the most part, you can’t have sex all day. At some point you have to talk about SOMETHING and when you do, if she or he is shallow it is going to SUCK. Since the majority (okay, all) of my time is spent NOT having sex the ability to relate and have fun with someone is key. Having a great personality actually should (and for me does) make up for not fitting into my ‘ideal’. Is it the same for everyone? No, some people have a box and if you don’t fit in that box then it is on to the next girl/guy. Again, there is nothing wrong with that. Keep in mind; people don’t like to be in boxes. They keep on escaping, and then you have to use the cattle prod…let’s just say it’s not worth it.
So back to the original point: how does the Chachi feel about being shallow? It is a part of being human. Everyone has their preferences and there is nothing wrong with that. Keep in mind, it is an INDIVIDUAL preference. With the rise of Maxim, Cosmo, Spike TV and Sex in the City (dumbest fucking show EVER) people are really falling into this ‘ideal beauty’ that is portrayed and if that is your thing then do it to it. No matter how ‘unbiased’ you are, you have preset ideas of what is attractive to you. So don’t get pissy when someone else’s are different from yours or aren’t you. If someone doesn’t find a trait about you attractive, odds are you weren’t right for that person anyway. If you were, then they just missed out on the greatest thing to happen since all-natural applesauce. At least that’s the lie I tell myself to get to sleep without crying. Just kidding, everyone is beautiful. Nothing wrong with being ‘shallow’ but you could be missing out.
Alright, I am out. Be sure to check back for the updates this weekend. Stay up ya’ll.
Chachi Out.
How Chachi Feels About:
Being Shallow
Now as many of you know, I’m a nerd. Total dweeb. One thing that I do as a nerd is look at Ctrl+Alt+Del every morning before I get going at work. It is good stuff, almost has replaced Penny Arcade as my favorite (No one can top the Merch Christmas). As a storyline driven web comic, I have liked a lot of the arcs like the Mac Panthers arc. He has a current arc where Lucas decides to get back on the dating scene and joins a Match.com like dating site. Zeke (an X-Box robot) sets him up on a date behind his back with a heavier woman. The arc basically shows how Lucas is not attracted to her but still goes out with her. Come to find out she ISN’T overweight, just wearing a fat suit and she is actually skinny. He has a good time and the end.
Tim Buckley (not like I know him so I won’t act like I do) gave an explanation this morning about why he portrayed Lucas the way he did after some e-mails from upset people. This made me think. What is wrong with being shallow anyway?
Okay, as a fat, black jerk I can honestly say that I have no reason to be shallow. Hell, I already have three strikes against me and two strikes in the second inning (being sexually ambiguous and nerd count against me, too). Yet, I think being ‘shallow’ is confused with having certain standards, right or wrong. Case in point: I don’t like skinny women. Hell, I don’t like skinny people in general. Call it jealousy, call it a preference but if I had my choice I would not date a skinny woman no matter what my size because I don’t find that initially attractive. Does that make me shallow? In terms of the way the word is used now, yes it does. Does that mean I won’t talk to that person if I like her personality? Hell no. Will that curb my physical attraction to her? Hells no because if you love someone solely based on how they look, good luck with that.
On the flip side, I also understand that I am not the ideal for most women. I’ve been told by women that they don’t find fat guys attractive. Can’t blame them for that at all. Who would I be to judge them when I do the exact same thing (albeit reversed)? It may hurt, it may suck and it may mean they miss out on the 100% Grade-A Mancake but it is their fucking choice. I have been told by one girl in particular (Who was Mormon. Bad move on MY PART) that she liked me but didn’t date black men. I was surprisingly okay with that. You know why? Because I don’t date black women, or they don’t date me spin that how you want. That was her choice and although I didn’t like it I (sadly) respected it. Even weirder was when we DID date and I met her dad when I picked her up and all he could do was stare and sloooooowly close the door in confusion. Is that shallow? No, that is a choice. I know this all too well because for a long time I wasn’t en vogue not because of my weight but because I was TOO DARK when light-skins were hot (Fuck Christopher Williams). Griff can tell you, that shit HURTS. Was it fair? No, and I will stick by that to this day because I am a SEXY SHADE OF MOCHA! I accepted it as a choice they made and to each their own.
So quite simply is being ‘shallow’ a bad thing? Well, yes and no. Just like anything there are pros and cons to being choosy. If the military took anyone and everyone that enlisted because they were desperate the drunk, ugly sorority girl at a frat party we would be….you know that joke is too easy. If you aren’t attracted to women with tattoos (Especially at the small of the back. REAL ORIGINAL) because you think that shows a personality of being weak and easily influenced then that is your choice. If you think that a guy that watches cartoons isn’t your type because it means they never grew up and shows immaturity, it is quite alright. The simple fact is that we are by nature ‘shallow’. Looks matter and that is the bottom line.
However, with people being like snowflakes being ‘shallow’ really limits you. If everyone looked alike and had the same ideal of beauty, it would be…well creepy. I don’t like all of the same traits Rick likes in a woman (we’ve been over this) but several overlap. I am not a fan big boobs (especially fake ones. CREEPY), for the most part he digs ‘em like Sugar Smacks. He isn’t about the illegal shift in the backfield but I am all about that 5-yard penalty. Yet, we both aren’t fans of tattoos or smokers. That still gives a wide spectrum of women out there that we find attractive. That being said, once you get past that, there is a very important factor that outweighs that: personality.
Now that is when being shallow can truly fuck you over. I for one am the exception to this rule because if you don’t like the cover of this book you sure as HELL aint going to like the story. If I hear another person say ‘he was cute but he was such a jerk!’ or ‘she was hot but man she was a bitch’ I will rip your lower mandible out and use it as a fucking cup holder. This is when I use the word shallow. Not to describe a person, but their PERSONALITY. A shallow personality is one that is devoid of any depth or originality. A pretty woman that has no sense of humor is not sexy. She may be a physical specimen but for the most part, you can’t have sex all day. At some point you have to talk about SOMETHING and when you do, if she or he is shallow it is going to SUCK. Since the majority (okay, all) of my time is spent NOT having sex the ability to relate and have fun with someone is key. Having a great personality actually should (and for me does) make up for not fitting into my ‘ideal’. Is it the same for everyone? No, some people have a box and if you don’t fit in that box then it is on to the next girl/guy. Again, there is nothing wrong with that. Keep in mind; people don’t like to be in boxes. They keep on escaping, and then you have to use the cattle prod…let’s just say it’s not worth it.
So back to the original point: how does the Chachi feel about being shallow? It is a part of being human. Everyone has their preferences and there is nothing wrong with that. Keep in mind, it is an INDIVIDUAL preference. With the rise of Maxim, Cosmo, Spike TV and Sex in the City (dumbest fucking show EVER) people are really falling into this ‘ideal beauty’ that is portrayed and if that is your thing then do it to it. No matter how ‘unbiased’ you are, you have preset ideas of what is attractive to you. So don’t get pissy when someone else’s are different from yours or aren’t you. If someone doesn’t find a trait about you attractive, odds are you weren’t right for that person anyway. If you were, then they just missed out on the greatest thing to happen since all-natural applesauce. At least that’s the lie I tell myself to get to sleep without crying. Just kidding, everyone is beautiful. Nothing wrong with being ‘shallow’ but you could be missing out.
Alright, I am out. Be sure to check back for the updates this weekend. Stay up ya’ll.
Chachi Out.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Kicking It Old School...And Man Did The Lack Variety.
So yesterday and today at work one of my co-workers (An awesome dude, reminds me of Master Shake meets Conan O’Brien but not a ginger or….um…a cup) and I have been discussing the state of music and something hit me. People always sit back and talk about how repetitive music is NOW and to an extent they are right but…music was hella repetitive back in the day. The song in particular we were talking about was La Trimm’s “Cars That Go Boom”:
Now I know we all loved this song but…tell me that in retrospect this song isn’t the most annoying thing you have ever heard? Yes the nostalgia factor gets you through it but damn it this song makes MIMS sound like Rakim. Were our standards lower then or are they higher now? I think they are higher now, which is why a lot of us pine for bringing back that old New York rap. Like MC Lyte’s “Georgie Porgie”:
Now THAT is real hip hop. Well, I am out for now. Repeats tomorrow. Sorry about that, but I will have new stuff on Friday and a huge weekend full of updates! Stay up, peeps.
Chachi Out
Now I know we all loved this song but…tell me that in retrospect this song isn’t the most annoying thing you have ever heard? Yes the nostalgia factor gets you through it but damn it this song makes MIMS sound like Rakim. Were our standards lower then or are they higher now? I think they are higher now, which is why a lot of us pine for bringing back that old New York rap. Like MC Lyte’s “Georgie Porgie”:
Now THAT is real hip hop. Well, I am out for now. Repeats tomorrow. Sorry about that, but I will have new stuff on Friday and a huge weekend full of updates! Stay up, peeps.
Chachi Out
Monday, December 08, 2008
If I Weren't A Boy, I Would TOTALLY Date Zac Efron! BISHIE HAWT!
Okay, so I am back for a Monday update. My god, it if fricking snowing like hell outside. I can honestly say that this is utter and complete bullshit that it only snows when I drive. Seriously, it is pissing me off.
So I wanted to say a little something about the advent of these “women’s anthems” songs that are clung on to like rednecks cling on to Lynard Skynard. Understand this right now, people: Lynard Skynard has ONE GOOD SONG. “Simple Kind Of Man.” THAT IS IT. The next person to sing “Sweet Home Alabama” like it doesn’t fucking suck is getting beaten with a bat. Redneck rock was never any good unless you are downing PBR and beating your three times pregnant that year wife (You may say that aint possible but in the South, science means nothing. It’s all about Jebus) while sitting in front of your trailer trying to fix your T-top IROC. Yeah, I SO FUCKING WENT THERE. Stop banging your cousin and get some real musical taste.
Enough on my inbred honkey rant (Another day, another time). This rant is about stupid women and their stupid songs. Now I have ranted about how niggas love songs about getting money and yet they are broker than I am (Read: “I Get Money” by 50 Cent or “Money For Nothing” by Dire Straits. Niggas love Dire Straits) and women that love songs about wonton acts of stupidity piss me off as well. Nowhere near as much because I expect nothing less but irrational behavior from a lot of you women out there but the trend of this has gotten disturbing dumb. Now I already mentioned how much I did not like “When He Cheats” because it was glorifying the double standard of irrational violence by women being accepted and even encouraged (By other women, but still they are people and can do stuff now) but the same actions by a man are seen as…well, illegal. Which by all means, violence against a woman is reprehensible (Except in Street Fighter II and Mario Kart because Peach is a fucking bitch!) as is menacing but is it okay for a woman to do it to a man for the same reasons? No, but you can’t tell THEM that mostly because they don’t understand logic. Although it is considered a harmless “song” I can say for a fact I know two women off top of head that have committed some form of vandalism or menacing against an ex-boyfriend or husband and in conversations with other females they NEVER say they were wrong for…well…ignoring the whole LAW thing. Yet if a man even does anything resembling a question of what she is doing or even worse directly questions an action he is vilified. Now women always say that there are some men that are violent and always use a worse case scenario to justify their actions. You know…that sounds a lot like George W. Bush tactics to me. Weapons of mass destruction, anyone? By using the extreme to justify crap you do, you are no better than Hitler. You are better than Hitler…right, ladies?
Back to these songs women love so damn much. Now when I think of a woman’s anthem, I personally think of Donna Summer’s “She Works Hard For The Money”:
Or even better, Queen Latifah’s “U.N.I.T.Y.”:
You know why? These songs are about EMPOWERING YOURSELF. They aren’t these whiny and trifling ass “a man aint shit if he don’t do what I say” songs I hear all the fucking time. Case in point, Beyonce’s “If I Was A Boy”:
Okay, now I posted the lyrics for a good reason. I really want you to LISTEN to this and understand why I am concerned with the direction women are taking.
If I were a boy, even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning and throw on what I wanted and go
Drink beer with the guys, and chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted and I'd never get confronted for it
Cause they stick up for me
Okay, this is very interesting to me because having observed married and taken (LOL!) female friends out when their husbands or boyfriends aren’t around and you know what? They do the same thing. Now replace beers with random mixed drinks and replace throwing on what they wanted (Another myth because I am rather vain according to several females I know) with taking an hour and a half do get dressed up to impress men that they shouldn’t want attention from anyway but it is the exact same. Yet when a man calls women on this he is being “sexist.” Just like when I call Black people out for being homophobes for being against Prop 8 and yet they say they understand oppression. Yeah, I so fucking went there. Let’s dig a bit deeper…
If I were a boy, I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken so they think that I was sleeping alone
I'd put myself first and make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she'd be faithful, waiting for me to come home
To come home
Now aint this some LAWL (BTW, this will be the first and last time I use the phrase “lawl”) WORTHY SHIT?! As one that had to deal with the lie of “my cell phone is broken” I can honestly say that women do all of this, too. The most two-faced bullshit being the “make the rules as I go” lyric which is kind of a woman’s motis operandi when it comes to…well, everything. You see, the fact that songs like this are not only made but popular proves that they DO make up the rules as they go. I have seen (and been part of) waiting for someone to come home or return a call and had to hear the lies and excuses about what happened or even better the “don’t you trust me?!” bullshit line that is ironically enough in the video and played as a climax to the video which shows the “turnabout” of how it would look if a woman said that to a man about his suspicions of HER infidelity. Great for a plot device but not so much from a logical sense. You see, I am not going to give about 85% men ANY credit to even pose that question to a woman that he thinks is cheating on him. I actually give women the benefit of the doubt on this one because odds are:
1. He was already cheating. Yeah…dudes can be dicks. But, you date them so tough shit.
2. He was PLANNING on cheating. Yeah, dudes can be dicks. Oddly enough, they are surprisingly smart when it comes to PLANNING the idea, just not implementing it. Just like GEORGE W. BUSH! Damn, I am AWESOME!
3. You really weren’t his girlfriend. Yeah, dudes can be dicks. Sadly, you were just someone he was fucking until he found someone else. You know who you are and I TOLD YOU THAT! No one listens to me *sigh*
However, that last 15% of dudes is broken down into two segments:
• Straight men that WILL ask about infidelity
• Gay men that will ask about infidelity
Now gay men cheating is easy to tell because…well, there aren’t that many in Colorado Springs so they all kind of know each other. It’s a small world and a smaller pool so you are bound to catch the same fish twice. Now as for the straight men that will ask the question of infidelity, I am using the number that ISN’T actually already cheating. Part of that 85% usually asks out of necessity and to cover their own tracks of douchery and usually ask you in the rudest, most obviously offensive way possible to feign anger which women strangely see as being “concerned” and see it as love (WHAT THE FUCK, BELLANIE?!). If I was a woman, I would be more concerned about that dude being the numbers of a dude that will follow you to a club in his flip flops, boxers and his mom pink robe while brandishing a tire iron yelling “BITCH, WHERE YOU AT?!” (I’ve seen it and I must say the shit was HILARIOUS) and yet I’M the horrible boyfriend for asking where she went for three days off-hand? Yeah, it’s a conundrum.
Back to that 15%. A song like this either bugs them or makes them laugh because of its’ absurdity but strikes concern due to its’ popularity and ability to appeal to the lowest common denominator of women’s logic: the need of attention. Now I have said it once and I will say it again that there is nothing wrong with attention. Hell, a small part of the reason I blog is for attention. Which is odd because I have a pretty low readership (About 25-30 people a post, sometimes more if it is one I hype up or is really offensive) but still I do like to have attention. The difference is that for the majority of women (I won’t say all because I know like…three women that aren’t this way. Maybe four) don’t care whether it is negative or positive attention. Now I know I get negative attention from a lot of what I say and do but I know it is coming and I accept that. Women want the attention but don’t accept the responsibility that comes with gathering large amounts of attention. This is pretty much summed up in the penultimate lyrics of the song…
But you're just a boy
And you don't understand (yea, you don't understand, oh!)
How it feels to love a girl someday
You wish you were a better man
You don't listen to her
You don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Because you've taken her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
Does this seem to not be a bit of dramatization to you as well? Understand something: when someone isn’t listening to you, they don’t CARE THAT IT HURTS YOU. Also, can I just say that saying “everything you had got destroyed” really seems to be a little…egotistical? I mean do you not know that his heart will go on? Well, his wang will anyway because it seems that if he was just a boy, the girl that he was fucking around on you with was a tad more important. The fact that every woman always says “you will never find someone else like me!” and yet the douche is usually already WITH another woman when you finally wise up and leave him says a little something about just how much he is “destroyed” and how bad he feels about “taking you for granted.” Just saying…
Now I know this is just a song. For its merit it isn’t a BAD song it just has BAD FANS. You know, in retrospect it is kind of how I feel about Lynard Skynard, The Beatles, Nirvana and all the other bands that people latch on to and say how much they “changed their life” or “how deep they were” or “how they defined a generation” when in reality they were JUST A FUCKING BAND:
Thanks to Kasey’s sister for bringing this video to my attention because this is now my favorite song. I mean if you listen to “If I Were A Boy” and say anything other than “Hmm, catchy little ditty there” and instead say something like “YEAH! IF I WAS A BOY I WOULD BE SO MUCH HAPPIER! The he would see how much he is missing me now…though he is fucking that other bitch” then you are a dumbass. Beyonce is no X-Japan so quit acting like she is.
Well, I am out for now as I have to get up at the asscrack of dawn to make it to work at a decent hour. Until next time (Wednesday, maybe?) stay up. Oh, and here is some X-Japan:
Now THAT’S a kickass tune. oh, and stay tuned for the Passion of Chachi 700th Post Extravaganza! I will TRY (REPEAT, TRY!) to have it up on Sunday but it will be another Omnibus so shoot me your questions now! Hell, I may even give you a shout out! It will be the last Omnibus before the End Of 2009 New Year's Eve Mega-Post so make it good!
Chachi Out
So I wanted to say a little something about the advent of these “women’s anthems” songs that are clung on to like rednecks cling on to Lynard Skynard. Understand this right now, people: Lynard Skynard has ONE GOOD SONG. “Simple Kind Of Man.” THAT IS IT. The next person to sing “Sweet Home Alabama” like it doesn’t fucking suck is getting beaten with a bat. Redneck rock was never any good unless you are downing PBR and beating your three times pregnant that year wife (You may say that aint possible but in the South, science means nothing. It’s all about Jebus) while sitting in front of your trailer trying to fix your T-top IROC. Yeah, I SO FUCKING WENT THERE. Stop banging your cousin and get some real musical taste.
Enough on my inbred honkey rant (Another day, another time). This rant is about stupid women and their stupid songs. Now I have ranted about how niggas love songs about getting money and yet they are broker than I am (Read: “I Get Money” by 50 Cent or “Money For Nothing” by Dire Straits. Niggas love Dire Straits) and women that love songs about wonton acts of stupidity piss me off as well. Nowhere near as much because I expect nothing less but irrational behavior from a lot of you women out there but the trend of this has gotten disturbing dumb. Now I already mentioned how much I did not like “When He Cheats” because it was glorifying the double standard of irrational violence by women being accepted and even encouraged (By other women, but still they are people and can do stuff now) but the same actions by a man are seen as…well, illegal. Which by all means, violence against a woman is reprehensible (Except in Street Fighter II and Mario Kart because Peach is a fucking bitch!) as is menacing but is it okay for a woman to do it to a man for the same reasons? No, but you can’t tell THEM that mostly because they don’t understand logic. Although it is considered a harmless “song” I can say for a fact I know two women off top of head that have committed some form of vandalism or menacing against an ex-boyfriend or husband and in conversations with other females they NEVER say they were wrong for…well…ignoring the whole LAW thing. Yet if a man even does anything resembling a question of what she is doing or even worse directly questions an action he is vilified. Now women always say that there are some men that are violent and always use a worse case scenario to justify their actions. You know…that sounds a lot like George W. Bush tactics to me. Weapons of mass destruction, anyone? By using the extreme to justify crap you do, you are no better than Hitler. You are better than Hitler…right, ladies?
Back to these songs women love so damn much. Now when I think of a woman’s anthem, I personally think of Donna Summer’s “She Works Hard For The Money”:
Or even better, Queen Latifah’s “U.N.I.T.Y.”:
You know why? These songs are about EMPOWERING YOURSELF. They aren’t these whiny and trifling ass “a man aint shit if he don’t do what I say” songs I hear all the fucking time. Case in point, Beyonce’s “If I Was A Boy”:
Okay, now I posted the lyrics for a good reason. I really want you to LISTEN to this and understand why I am concerned with the direction women are taking.
If I were a boy, even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning and throw on what I wanted and go
Drink beer with the guys, and chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted and I'd never get confronted for it
Cause they stick up for me
Okay, this is very interesting to me because having observed married and taken (LOL!) female friends out when their husbands or boyfriends aren’t around and you know what? They do the same thing. Now replace beers with random mixed drinks and replace throwing on what they wanted (Another myth because I am rather vain according to several females I know) with taking an hour and a half do get dressed up to impress men that they shouldn’t want attention from anyway but it is the exact same. Yet when a man calls women on this he is being “sexist.” Just like when I call Black people out for being homophobes for being against Prop 8 and yet they say they understand oppression. Yeah, I so fucking went there. Let’s dig a bit deeper…
If I were a boy, I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken so they think that I was sleeping alone
I'd put myself first and make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she'd be faithful, waiting for me to come home
To come home
Now aint this some LAWL (BTW, this will be the first and last time I use the phrase “lawl”) WORTHY SHIT?! As one that had to deal with the lie of “my cell phone is broken” I can honestly say that women do all of this, too. The most two-faced bullshit being the “make the rules as I go” lyric which is kind of a woman’s motis operandi when it comes to…well, everything. You see, the fact that songs like this are not only made but popular proves that they DO make up the rules as they go. I have seen (and been part of) waiting for someone to come home or return a call and had to hear the lies and excuses about what happened or even better the “don’t you trust me?!” bullshit line that is ironically enough in the video and played as a climax to the video which shows the “turnabout” of how it would look if a woman said that to a man about his suspicions of HER infidelity. Great for a plot device but not so much from a logical sense. You see, I am not going to give about 85% men ANY credit to even pose that question to a woman that he thinks is cheating on him. I actually give women the benefit of the doubt on this one because odds are:
1. He was already cheating. Yeah…dudes can be dicks. But, you date them so tough shit.
2. He was PLANNING on cheating. Yeah, dudes can be dicks. Oddly enough, they are surprisingly smart when it comes to PLANNING the idea, just not implementing it. Just like GEORGE W. BUSH! Damn, I am AWESOME!
3. You really weren’t his girlfriend. Yeah, dudes can be dicks. Sadly, you were just someone he was fucking until he found someone else. You know who you are and I TOLD YOU THAT! No one listens to me *sigh*
However, that last 15% of dudes is broken down into two segments:
• Straight men that WILL ask about infidelity
• Gay men that will ask about infidelity
Now gay men cheating is easy to tell because…well, there aren’t that many in Colorado Springs so they all kind of know each other. It’s a small world and a smaller pool so you are bound to catch the same fish twice. Now as for the straight men that will ask the question of infidelity, I am using the number that ISN’T actually already cheating. Part of that 85% usually asks out of necessity and to cover their own tracks of douchery and usually ask you in the rudest, most obviously offensive way possible to feign anger which women strangely see as being “concerned” and see it as love (WHAT THE FUCK, BELLANIE?!). If I was a woman, I would be more concerned about that dude being the numbers of a dude that will follow you to a club in his flip flops, boxers and his mom pink robe while brandishing a tire iron yelling “BITCH, WHERE YOU AT?!” (I’ve seen it and I must say the shit was HILARIOUS) and yet I’M the horrible boyfriend for asking where she went for three days off-hand? Yeah, it’s a conundrum.
Back to that 15%. A song like this either bugs them or makes them laugh because of its’ absurdity but strikes concern due to its’ popularity and ability to appeal to the lowest common denominator of women’s logic: the need of attention. Now I have said it once and I will say it again that there is nothing wrong with attention. Hell, a small part of the reason I blog is for attention. Which is odd because I have a pretty low readership (About 25-30 people a post, sometimes more if it is one I hype up or is really offensive) but still I do like to have attention. The difference is that for the majority of women (I won’t say all because I know like…three women that aren’t this way. Maybe four) don’t care whether it is negative or positive attention. Now I know I get negative attention from a lot of what I say and do but I know it is coming and I accept that. Women want the attention but don’t accept the responsibility that comes with gathering large amounts of attention. This is pretty much summed up in the penultimate lyrics of the song…
But you're just a boy
And you don't understand (yea, you don't understand, oh!)
How it feels to love a girl someday
You wish you were a better man
You don't listen to her
You don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Because you've taken her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
Does this seem to not be a bit of dramatization to you as well? Understand something: when someone isn’t listening to you, they don’t CARE THAT IT HURTS YOU. Also, can I just say that saying “everything you had got destroyed” really seems to be a little…egotistical? I mean do you not know that his heart will go on? Well, his wang will anyway because it seems that if he was just a boy, the girl that he was fucking around on you with was a tad more important. The fact that every woman always says “you will never find someone else like me!” and yet the douche is usually already WITH another woman when you finally wise up and leave him says a little something about just how much he is “destroyed” and how bad he feels about “taking you for granted.” Just saying…
Now I know this is just a song. For its merit it isn’t a BAD song it just has BAD FANS. You know, in retrospect it is kind of how I feel about Lynard Skynard, The Beatles, Nirvana and all the other bands that people latch on to and say how much they “changed their life” or “how deep they were” or “how they defined a generation” when in reality they were JUST A FUCKING BAND:
Thanks to Kasey’s sister for bringing this video to my attention because this is now my favorite song. I mean if you listen to “If I Were A Boy” and say anything other than “Hmm, catchy little ditty there” and instead say something like “YEAH! IF I WAS A BOY I WOULD BE SO MUCH HAPPIER! The he would see how much he is missing me now…though he is fucking that other bitch” then you are a dumbass. Beyonce is no X-Japan so quit acting like she is.
Well, I am out for now as I have to get up at the asscrack of dawn to make it to work at a decent hour. Until next time (Wednesday, maybe?) stay up. Oh, and here is some X-Japan:
Now THAT’S a kickass tune. oh, and stay tuned for the Passion of Chachi 700th Post Extravaganza! I will TRY (REPEAT, TRY!) to have it up on Sunday but it will be another Omnibus so shoot me your questions now! Hell, I may even give you a shout out! It will be the last Omnibus before the End Of 2009 New Year's Eve Mega-Post so make it good!
Chachi Out
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Sex: Without It, The Internet and Night Club Industry Would Have Died Out YEARS AGO.
What is up, peeps?! It is another lazy Sunday and it looks like I will have a full work week (LE FUCK!) so updates may be a little on the light side. However, I thought it would be best to post a little something to give the peeps to read and ponder. So, this question was posed to me last week by a friend of mine and when she asked me I knew it was one of those questions that I knew there was not only no right answer to but that no matter what, I was going to look bad no matter what I said. Long story short I said that another friend of mine seemed to think that 30 was a low number for sexual partners and that she was fucking stupid to say any number is “low” or “high” because whoredom isn’t based on HOW MANY you fuck but WHOM and WHY. Which opened up this can of worms:
Chachi Presents: Question of the Day!
Today’s Question: When It Comes (Heh, comes) To Sexual Partners, How Many Is Too Many?
You know, I always felt the best way to answer this is with a personal story. Back in 2002 when women were still stupid enough to date me, my girlfriend in college asked me that same question in reference to a conversation her friends and I had earlier that night. A number was tossed around and when I was asked if that was too many I stated
“For a twenty year old? I don’t know, but seeing as that means you would have had to fuck someone once a month for the last three years to attain such a dumbass goal…I would have to rethink what I did with my day…”
Now it was met with laughter by my girlfriend’s brother but no one else (Sadly, all females) found that line to be funny. Like, at all. So later that evening, she asked me what I would think if that number was pretty close to her number of partners and I told her “What would you expect me to think? I can’t change it so I’m cool with it by default.” Needless to say, she did NOT like that answer and I can understand why. You see, a woman’s sexual history means nothing to you as a friend until you end up dating her. Even if you DO end up dating you can’t have a problem with the NUMBER as much as you can have a problem with WHO is in those numbers. Case in point if she has a child or a crazy ex-boyfriend that doesn’t want to let go (Or even better, a crazy boyfriend she neglected to TELL YOU ABOUT). Knowing those numbers would be a really nice thing because I’m sure that SHE would expect the same common courtesy.
Now the question posed was about how many is too many. Now we can think up arbitrary numbers all day long but the simple fact is this: if sex is that important to you that you have to do it repeatedly then by all means knock yourself out. It is your body and totally your right to have as much sex with as many people as often as you want whether you are a male or female. However, you have to remember a few important factors:
Factor #1: Whether The Number Is High Or Not…Isn’t Up To You So Shut The Fuck Up About It
There is an old adage that people choose what the stats mean at the end of the day, not the athletes. When you look at Barry Bonds homerun total, you will either say he was the greatest home run hitter of all time or his stats are the proof of what performance-enhancing drugs can do to the sanctity of the game. Some people even break his numbers down and split them between the Pittsburg Pirates years and the San Francisco Giants years to mark when the controversy began. THIS is why the numbers aren’t up to you. They are open to interpretation and analysis if you put them out there and you know what? Tough shit. Your sexual partner numbers will be viewed differently by different people so when you bring it out in the open you will get many different views on whether it is high or low. Oddly enough, if the number is less than the woman in question being told the number she is so not a whore. However, if it is within the margin for Whore Error (+/-2 fucks) it varies. Anything over and she is SO A SLUT! Not my words, theirs.
Factor #2: With A Man It ISN’T DIFFERENT SO SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT.
No matter what I say about any number a woman gives it is usually followed by “If I was a man it wouldn’t matter!” to which I say…shut the fuck up. You see, the reason it is different for a man when it comes to sexual partners is literally how they view it. A lot of men out their rank the number of women they bang (Do the cool kids still say “bang?” Just checking) as a badge of honor. You see, I look at wearing sexual escapades as a badge of honor almost like bragging about how much you go for it on 4th down in football. Sure, sometimes you get a first down but more often than not you turnover on downs. That is casual sex: turning it over on 4th down. At that point the other team has the ball and you have nothing really to show for it except a stat saying you WENT FOR IT ON FOURTH DOWN! So if you are proud of those number then that is cool because some would think that going for it on fourth down means that you have experience which women will admit they like. However ladies, in football if you are going for it on fourth down a lot, you really aren’t doing so well on first or second down, are you? On third down your ass REALLY SUCKS. In essence, I mean just because you have the experience on running plays and going on drives doesn’t mean those plays are any good or if they even work.
Now, let’s tie this altogether. A man with multiple sexual partners is up to the SAME JUDGEMENT as a woman is. Problem is that women don’t really care. Face it, you don’t. You are more concerned about YOURSELF than the other persons which is cool. But understand that most men got past the “Man, that dude gets all the fly honeys!” (Is “fly honey” still cool? How about “roni?”) when it came to sex at like…17. Bros and niggas still keep that mentality until they die but that’s how they roll. Ask your average dude about a guy that fucks any woman that will give it up and we will honestly tell you that he is just as much a whore as a woman that does the same thing and probably even more so because he had to pay for the tang whether indirectly or not so he may as well have just got to Colfax and got him some there. Half the price and no need to worry about the “So what are we?” question that men hate so much. See, asshole! I just saved you $50 in Long Island’s and Cosmo’s! Long story short is that it IS the same for men when it comes to sexual partners but women don’t hold their feet to the fire about whoring it out like YOU HOLD OTHER WOMEN’S FEET TO THE FIRE ABOUT IT! Seriously, no one ever blames the dude for cheating, they call the woman a whore for “fucking their man” to which I say congrats…you’re a jackass. THAT is why women are like niggas: they can’t get along with each other over the most simple shit.
Factor #3: It Is Called Self-Esteem and Self-Control. Use Them.
Now I am going to make a pretty broad assumption and say that every time, excluding rape of course, that when sex is had that it is your own choice. I’ve done some whacky things drunk but I know at the end of the day I DECIDED TO DRINK AND WHATEVER HAPPENS TO ME IS MY FAULT because I chose to take a substance that can alter my ability to rationally make decisions. With all that being said, you as a woman lay on your back and you as a man whip out your wang to have this awkward little think we call sex. No one makes you do it and it honestly takes two people saying “let’s get freaky!” to work. So you make the choice to do so and you really can’t get all upset about it after the fact because YOU DID IT! If you KNOW that people may judge you for having sex with enough partners to fill up a Menudo reunion special then you have three choices:
1. Don’t tell anyone: Honestly, it is no one’s business any-damn-way. If you are afraid people will judge your past then keep it to yourself until the time is right. There are some people that will judge you whether the number is two, twenty or fifty so just keep your fool mouth shut.
2. Don’t give a fuck: I mean seriously, why should it even matter? You fucked the defensive secondary of the Jacksonville Jaguars? So what? You did it and did it well so don’t be ashamed! Like I said, people are going to judge you for who you are (Or aren’t) and what you did (Or didn’t) regardless so if you are cool with your past (LOL, OR CURRENT AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!) then have a fuck and a smile and quit yer bitchin.
3. Cry about it: No one made you do what you did and you can’t really take it back. I mean you can be born again but in the end Jesus don’t love them hoes. You saw what he did to Mary Magdalene. Told that bitch to get to stepping after he hit that. Seriously, if you have a past in which you have seen a lot of dicks then own up to it. Don’t make excuses or say things like you wish you hadn’t because that just makes you look stupid. The hardest critic of your past is you (Hell, I’m living proof) so once YOU get over it, fuck the world if they can’t adjust. Gotta love the words of Tupac Shakur.
So, quite simply what is the answer? How many is too many? I look at it the same as I look at alcohol: you should know your limits and if you don’t know your limits you will eventually get burned. Now I don’t necessarily mean by an STD (But it could happen) but what I mean is that if at some point you realize that “Man, I’m fucking to either fill a void or gain some personal satisfaction that could be achieved with a less self-esteem breaking hobby” then what you are doing isn’t for you. Now I am not against sex. I mean I am actually all for it because if I ever want to get to Japan I got to be ready to do some godless, eerie shit…I’ve seen the movies. Yet I say that with the understanding that you must be comfortable with what you do. If you are, more power to you. If not then you need to think about how you not only view sex but the people you are having sex with. You know my motto when it comes to this kind of stuff:
Be Safe, Be Cool, Be You
Real simple, but hard for a lot of people to do. In closing, what number of sexual partners is too many?
Your age
(MINUS)
The age you started having sex
(DIVIDE)
12 for the months in a year
(PLUS)
4 for each Bowl Game and/or New Years Bowl game your college has been to (WHILE YOU WERE THERE! If you never went to college or finished this doesn’t apply to you. Yeah, the numbers are skewed)
(PLUS)
5 if you have had sex with any rapper or rock star (Trust me, you don’t have to say but you fucked the crew, too. This goes for males and females)
(PLUS)
10 if you have ever shook hands with Prince (Because….yeah that man’s bankai is sex)
(TIMES)
1.5 to factor in your BCS Ranking (Be sure to add in the Harris Poll as well. The computers take in strength of fuck schedule into account)
(PLUS)
Your age divided by 2
(MINUS)
3 for each individual pity fuck. Yeah, there is a punishment for playing against weaker opponents on your schedule. However, they count as an ADD toward your total.
(EQUALS)
Your Total!
Now take your total and subtract it from your actual number count of partners and you have…
Your ASPI (Acceptable Sexual Partner Index)
If you are above the number you ended up with, you are officially a whore. Male or female. That system doesn’t make sense? Good, that is exactly how I feel about the question of how many sexual partners is too many because to ask it doesn’t make sense. Is it too many to you? Too many to me? Too many to that guy? Too many to Gene Simmons or Madonna? It really doesn’t matter. If it is a source of concern for you then maybe you shouldn’t have been pounding those daiquiris’ last night!
Lastly, the answer is up to you. Much like the power, it is yours!
Hells yeah!
Well, I am out for now. I will try to answer another question of the day on Tuesday or Wednesday. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
Chachi Presents: Question of the Day!
Today’s Question: When It Comes (Heh, comes) To Sexual Partners, How Many Is Too Many?
You know, I always felt the best way to answer this is with a personal story. Back in 2002 when women were still stupid enough to date me, my girlfriend in college asked me that same question in reference to a conversation her friends and I had earlier that night. A number was tossed around and when I was asked if that was too many I stated
“For a twenty year old? I don’t know, but seeing as that means you would have had to fuck someone once a month for the last three years to attain such a dumbass goal…I would have to rethink what I did with my day…”
Now it was met with laughter by my girlfriend’s brother but no one else (Sadly, all females) found that line to be funny. Like, at all. So later that evening, she asked me what I would think if that number was pretty close to her number of partners and I told her “What would you expect me to think? I can’t change it so I’m cool with it by default.” Needless to say, she did NOT like that answer and I can understand why. You see, a woman’s sexual history means nothing to you as a friend until you end up dating her. Even if you DO end up dating you can’t have a problem with the NUMBER as much as you can have a problem with WHO is in those numbers. Case in point if she has a child or a crazy ex-boyfriend that doesn’t want to let go (Or even better, a crazy boyfriend she neglected to TELL YOU ABOUT). Knowing those numbers would be a really nice thing because I’m sure that SHE would expect the same common courtesy.
Now the question posed was about how many is too many. Now we can think up arbitrary numbers all day long but the simple fact is this: if sex is that important to you that you have to do it repeatedly then by all means knock yourself out. It is your body and totally your right to have as much sex with as many people as often as you want whether you are a male or female. However, you have to remember a few important factors:
Factor #1: Whether The Number Is High Or Not…Isn’t Up To You So Shut The Fuck Up About It
There is an old adage that people choose what the stats mean at the end of the day, not the athletes. When you look at Barry Bonds homerun total, you will either say he was the greatest home run hitter of all time or his stats are the proof of what performance-enhancing drugs can do to the sanctity of the game. Some people even break his numbers down and split them between the Pittsburg Pirates years and the San Francisco Giants years to mark when the controversy began. THIS is why the numbers aren’t up to you. They are open to interpretation and analysis if you put them out there and you know what? Tough shit. Your sexual partner numbers will be viewed differently by different people so when you bring it out in the open you will get many different views on whether it is high or low. Oddly enough, if the number is less than the woman in question being told the number she is so not a whore. However, if it is within the margin for Whore Error (+/-2 fucks) it varies. Anything over and she is SO A SLUT! Not my words, theirs.
Factor #2: With A Man It ISN’T DIFFERENT SO SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT.
No matter what I say about any number a woman gives it is usually followed by “If I was a man it wouldn’t matter!” to which I say…shut the fuck up. You see, the reason it is different for a man when it comes to sexual partners is literally how they view it. A lot of men out their rank the number of women they bang (Do the cool kids still say “bang?” Just checking) as a badge of honor. You see, I look at wearing sexual escapades as a badge of honor almost like bragging about how much you go for it on 4th down in football. Sure, sometimes you get a first down but more often than not you turnover on downs. That is casual sex: turning it over on 4th down. At that point the other team has the ball and you have nothing really to show for it except a stat saying you WENT FOR IT ON FOURTH DOWN! So if you are proud of those number then that is cool because some would think that going for it on fourth down means that you have experience which women will admit they like. However ladies, in football if you are going for it on fourth down a lot, you really aren’t doing so well on first or second down, are you? On third down your ass REALLY SUCKS. In essence, I mean just because you have the experience on running plays and going on drives doesn’t mean those plays are any good or if they even work.
Now, let’s tie this altogether. A man with multiple sexual partners is up to the SAME JUDGEMENT as a woman is. Problem is that women don’t really care. Face it, you don’t. You are more concerned about YOURSELF than the other persons which is cool. But understand that most men got past the “Man, that dude gets all the fly honeys!” (Is “fly honey” still cool? How about “roni?”) when it came to sex at like…17. Bros and niggas still keep that mentality until they die but that’s how they roll. Ask your average dude about a guy that fucks any woman that will give it up and we will honestly tell you that he is just as much a whore as a woman that does the same thing and probably even more so because he had to pay for the tang whether indirectly or not so he may as well have just got to Colfax and got him some there. Half the price and no need to worry about the “So what are we?” question that men hate so much. See, asshole! I just saved you $50 in Long Island’s and Cosmo’s! Long story short is that it IS the same for men when it comes to sexual partners but women don’t hold their feet to the fire about whoring it out like YOU HOLD OTHER WOMEN’S FEET TO THE FIRE ABOUT IT! Seriously, no one ever blames the dude for cheating, they call the woman a whore for “fucking their man” to which I say congrats…you’re a jackass. THAT is why women are like niggas: they can’t get along with each other over the most simple shit.
Factor #3: It Is Called Self-Esteem and Self-Control. Use Them.
Now I am going to make a pretty broad assumption and say that every time, excluding rape of course, that when sex is had that it is your own choice. I’ve done some whacky things drunk but I know at the end of the day I DECIDED TO DRINK AND WHATEVER HAPPENS TO ME IS MY FAULT because I chose to take a substance that can alter my ability to rationally make decisions. With all that being said, you as a woman lay on your back and you as a man whip out your wang to have this awkward little think we call sex. No one makes you do it and it honestly takes two people saying “let’s get freaky!” to work. So you make the choice to do so and you really can’t get all upset about it after the fact because YOU DID IT! If you KNOW that people may judge you for having sex with enough partners to fill up a Menudo reunion special then you have three choices:
1. Don’t tell anyone: Honestly, it is no one’s business any-damn-way. If you are afraid people will judge your past then keep it to yourself until the time is right. There are some people that will judge you whether the number is two, twenty or fifty so just keep your fool mouth shut.
2. Don’t give a fuck: I mean seriously, why should it even matter? You fucked the defensive secondary of the Jacksonville Jaguars? So what? You did it and did it well so don’t be ashamed! Like I said, people are going to judge you for who you are (Or aren’t) and what you did (Or didn’t) regardless so if you are cool with your past (LOL, OR CURRENT AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!) then have a fuck and a smile and quit yer bitchin.
3. Cry about it: No one made you do what you did and you can’t really take it back. I mean you can be born again but in the end Jesus don’t love them hoes. You saw what he did to Mary Magdalene. Told that bitch to get to stepping after he hit that. Seriously, if you have a past in which you have seen a lot of dicks then own up to it. Don’t make excuses or say things like you wish you hadn’t because that just makes you look stupid. The hardest critic of your past is you (Hell, I’m living proof) so once YOU get over it, fuck the world if they can’t adjust. Gotta love the words of Tupac Shakur.
So, quite simply what is the answer? How many is too many? I look at it the same as I look at alcohol: you should know your limits and if you don’t know your limits you will eventually get burned. Now I don’t necessarily mean by an STD (But it could happen) but what I mean is that if at some point you realize that “Man, I’m fucking to either fill a void or gain some personal satisfaction that could be achieved with a less self-esteem breaking hobby” then what you are doing isn’t for you. Now I am not against sex. I mean I am actually all for it because if I ever want to get to Japan I got to be ready to do some godless, eerie shit…I’ve seen the movies. Yet I say that with the understanding that you must be comfortable with what you do. If you are, more power to you. If not then you need to think about how you not only view sex but the people you are having sex with. You know my motto when it comes to this kind of stuff:
Be Safe, Be Cool, Be You
Real simple, but hard for a lot of people to do. In closing, what number of sexual partners is too many?
Your age
(MINUS)
The age you started having sex
(DIVIDE)
12 for the months in a year
(PLUS)
4 for each Bowl Game and/or New Years Bowl game your college has been to (WHILE YOU WERE THERE! If you never went to college or finished this doesn’t apply to you. Yeah, the numbers are skewed)
(PLUS)
5 if you have had sex with any rapper or rock star (Trust me, you don’t have to say but you fucked the crew, too. This goes for males and females)
(PLUS)
10 if you have ever shook hands with Prince (Because….yeah that man’s bankai is sex)
(TIMES)
1.5 to factor in your BCS Ranking (Be sure to add in the Harris Poll as well. The computers take in strength of fuck schedule into account)
(PLUS)
Your age divided by 2
(MINUS)
3 for each individual pity fuck. Yeah, there is a punishment for playing against weaker opponents on your schedule. However, they count as an ADD toward your total.
(EQUALS)
Your Total!
Now take your total and subtract it from your actual number count of partners and you have…
Your ASPI (Acceptable Sexual Partner Index)
If you are above the number you ended up with, you are officially a whore. Male or female. That system doesn’t make sense? Good, that is exactly how I feel about the question of how many sexual partners is too many because to ask it doesn’t make sense. Is it too many to you? Too many to me? Too many to that guy? Too many to Gene Simmons or Madonna? It really doesn’t matter. If it is a source of concern for you then maybe you shouldn’t have been pounding those daiquiris’ last night!
Lastly, the answer is up to you. Much like the power, it is yours!
Hells yeah!
Well, I am out for now. I will try to answer another question of the day on Tuesday or Wednesday. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
Saturday, December 06, 2008
A KING IS NEVER LATE!! But I Am No King...So I Am Late.
I ain’t dead, motherfuckers! I am back after a night of soju and randomness to bring you what you came here…yesterday….for. It’s time for…
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
Let me begin with the videos no longer on the Countdown with Falling Out:
Yuna Ito – Miss You (Peaked at #7)
UVERworld – Koishikute (Peaked at #2)
We say goodbye to Miss Yuna and The World this week but Yuna will be back and The World is moving on up! Now let’s get started with a video that is a guilty pleasure of mine!
20. David Cook – Light On (New Entry)
Okay, I will admit I haven’t watched an American Idol since Blake Lewis was ROBBED by Jordin Sparks (LOL, I am so funny!) a few years ago. But I will admit that David Cook has a Daughtry meets Scott Stapp minus the lame feel to him. I really like this song and the video gives nerds a place in the sun for the first time since “The Tri-Lamb Rap.” And Omega Mooooo!
19. Hyori Lee – Hey Mr. Big! (Last Week #16)
Looks like Hyori is spending her last days on the Countdown after a great fall season. I hope she has a new video soon, though.
18. Nana Mizuki – TRICKSTER (New Entry)
Okay, this is officially my new favorite song. I swear this song and video totally rock your face! Although I like the groovy song from Rosario Vampire Season Two for a happy time, this song is the mad notes! We could have a new YUI on our hands!
17. Alicia Keys - Superwoman (Last Week #14)
Miss Keys also falls this week as it seems that the dominance of women on the Countdown from earlier this year may be over with only the Wonder Girls making it to the top in the last three months. The year of the gentlemen!
16. RSP with DA BUBBLE GUM BROTHERS – LA.LA.LA LOVE SONG (Last Week #19)
WHERE IN THE HELL IS THIS SINGLE?! I am patiently waiting for this one because damn it I SO WANT TO MASTER THIS SONG FOR KARAOKE! But I can’t get the breakdown right because my kanji reading skills are teh suck.
15. Hearts Grow – Sora (Last Week #11, Three Weeks at #1)
Hearts Grow falls again this week as we move on and this has become one of the biggest videos of the year. After failing to take the top spot their first two entries, they grabbed the top and stayed in the Top Five for over two and a half months. Pretty damn good.
14. T.I. – What Up, What’s Happening (Last Week #12)
So T.I. is backing away from the dipshittery of Alfamega and Big Kuntry last week at the Dirty Awards. Smooth move because the more you beef with Shawty Lo, the more it looks like that sorry ass man is worth a damn. Which he isn’t…I heard “Foolish.”
13. Young Jeezy – Crazy World (Last Week #17)
Young Jeezy moves up four spots this week and it looks to be the year of the snowman! I kid, I kid but he has had a great year.
12. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Remember (Last Week #9)
Well, HAMC released their greatest hits album so I guess it is officially all over. I…I need a moment, peeps. Go to the next video.
11. Paramore – Decode (Last Week #13)
Okay…I’m better now. Paramore is moving on up this week! Can they duplicate the success of “That’s What You Get” from earlier this year? If so, we may have the winner of the Rock Artist of the Year Chachi Award!
10. Wonder Girls - Nobody (Last Week #7, One Week at #1)
We are into the Top 10 as we have the Wonder Girls! Been a great year with two number one videos but they fall three spots this week and look to be silent for the rest of 2008. That is a shame, they finally began to grow on me.
9. Ikimonogakari – Kimagure Romanteikku (Last Week #15, Biggest Mover)
YAAAAY! Ikimonogakari moves up six big spots this week into the Top 10 for the second time this year! I LOVE THIS VIDEO! Even more so than “Bluebird” which I thought was awesome. Can they finally take the top spot?
8. Kanye West – Love Lockdown (Last Week #6, Two Weeks at #1)
Kanye falls two spots this week as Mr. Countdown could be a dominant force on the Year End Top 100 Countdown American Party Extravaganza 2008! I think…five videos? Maybe all in the Top 10? DAMN, HOMEY!
7. UVERworld – Hakanaku mo Towa no Kanashi (Last Week #10)
Takuya and Co are moving back up the Countdown this week! This gives them three Top 10 videos this year and no number ones while in 2006 they had THREE number one videos and dominated everything. Are they back?
6. Halcali – LONG KISS GOODBYE (Last Week #8)
Halcali pops up two spots this week just outside the Top 5. They haven’t been this high in a long time and they are looking to pull a NaNa by having a strong end of the year. It is great to see them back!
5. Kumi Koda – Taboo (Last Week #3)
Kumi Koda falls from the Top Three this week! She has a new video out but I saw a picture of the live performance on Music Fighter (I believe) and man…my baby boo is looking rough right about now. What’s wrong, baby?
4. YUI – I’ll Be (Last Week #5)
Another day, another YUI video. She has had THREE number two videos this year (Namidairo, Summer Song and Laugh Away) and to make it four in a year…that would hurt. Can this one FINALLY break the streak? We are down to three!
3. BoA – Eat You Up [Korean Version] (Last Week #4)
Korean invasion Part One! BoA moves up a spot to put her in the Top Three for the first time ever! This song has finally grown on me but I am waiting for her new single (Which should be out shortly) to see if she is REALLY trying to make this English thing work.
2. Rain (Bi) – Rainism (Last Week #2)
Korean invasion Part Two! Rain spends his second week at the runner up spot as he cannot dethrone the king! Even still, he is holding on tight! But with Bi at number two, the King is still on his throne!
1. T.I. feat Rihanna – Live Your Life (Last Week #1, Three Weeks at #1)
T.I. spends his third week at the top this week! I have to say I am still all about this song although I am sure it will be in a MetLife commercial next week. Either way, if you can sample the “Numa Numa Song” and make it a hit I have a lot of respect for you. Congrats, Tip…and Rihanna. Yeah, I gave her props now leave me alone.
That is all for this week! Next week the Countdown will return (Hopefully) to its regular date and time on Friday so be here to see if T.I. can make it a full month at the top! Or will Bi FINALLY make it rain on the top spot after an over two year wait? Or will BoA eat up the competition and become the new queen of the Countdown? See you in seven to find out!
Well, I am out. The Countdown was a tad bit late and I apologize for that one. I was WAAAAAAY too tired on Thursday and Friday to post it. I am going to head to the movies and then play some poker so until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
Let me begin with the videos no longer on the Countdown with Falling Out:
Yuna Ito – Miss You (Peaked at #7)
UVERworld – Koishikute (Peaked at #2)
We say goodbye to Miss Yuna and The World this week but Yuna will be back and The World is moving on up! Now let’s get started with a video that is a guilty pleasure of mine!
20. David Cook – Light On (New Entry)
Okay, I will admit I haven’t watched an American Idol since Blake Lewis was ROBBED by Jordin Sparks (LOL, I am so funny!) a few years ago. But I will admit that David Cook has a Daughtry meets Scott Stapp minus the lame feel to him. I really like this song and the video gives nerds a place in the sun for the first time since “The Tri-Lamb Rap.” And Omega Mooooo!
19. Hyori Lee – Hey Mr. Big! (Last Week #16)
Looks like Hyori is spending her last days on the Countdown after a great fall season. I hope she has a new video soon, though.
18. Nana Mizuki – TRICKSTER (New Entry)
Okay, this is officially my new favorite song. I swear this song and video totally rock your face! Although I like the groovy song from Rosario Vampire Season Two for a happy time, this song is the mad notes! We could have a new YUI on our hands!
17. Alicia Keys - Superwoman (Last Week #14)
Miss Keys also falls this week as it seems that the dominance of women on the Countdown from earlier this year may be over with only the Wonder Girls making it to the top in the last three months. The year of the gentlemen!
16. RSP with DA BUBBLE GUM BROTHERS – LA.LA.LA LOVE SONG (Last Week #19)
WHERE IN THE HELL IS THIS SINGLE?! I am patiently waiting for this one because damn it I SO WANT TO MASTER THIS SONG FOR KARAOKE! But I can’t get the breakdown right because my kanji reading skills are teh suck.
15. Hearts Grow – Sora (Last Week #11, Three Weeks at #1)
Hearts Grow falls again this week as we move on and this has become one of the biggest videos of the year. After failing to take the top spot their first two entries, they grabbed the top and stayed in the Top Five for over two and a half months. Pretty damn good.
14. T.I. – What Up, What’s Happening (Last Week #12)
So T.I. is backing away from the dipshittery of Alfamega and Big Kuntry last week at the Dirty Awards. Smooth move because the more you beef with Shawty Lo, the more it looks like that sorry ass man is worth a damn. Which he isn’t…I heard “Foolish.”
13. Young Jeezy – Crazy World (Last Week #17)
Young Jeezy moves up four spots this week and it looks to be the year of the snowman! I kid, I kid but he has had a great year.
12. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Remember (Last Week #9)
Well, HAMC released their greatest hits album so I guess it is officially all over. I…I need a moment, peeps. Go to the next video.
11. Paramore – Decode (Last Week #13)
Okay…I’m better now. Paramore is moving on up this week! Can they duplicate the success of “That’s What You Get” from earlier this year? If so, we may have the winner of the Rock Artist of the Year Chachi Award!
10. Wonder Girls - Nobody (Last Week #7, One Week at #1)
We are into the Top 10 as we have the Wonder Girls! Been a great year with two number one videos but they fall three spots this week and look to be silent for the rest of 2008. That is a shame, they finally began to grow on me.
9. Ikimonogakari – Kimagure Romanteikku (Last Week #15, Biggest Mover)
YAAAAY! Ikimonogakari moves up six big spots this week into the Top 10 for the second time this year! I LOVE THIS VIDEO! Even more so than “Bluebird” which I thought was awesome. Can they finally take the top spot?
8. Kanye West – Love Lockdown (Last Week #6, Two Weeks at #1)
Kanye falls two spots this week as Mr. Countdown could be a dominant force on the Year End Top 100 Countdown American Party Extravaganza 2008! I think…five videos? Maybe all in the Top 10? DAMN, HOMEY!
7. UVERworld – Hakanaku mo Towa no Kanashi (Last Week #10)
Takuya and Co are moving back up the Countdown this week! This gives them three Top 10 videos this year and no number ones while in 2006 they had THREE number one videos and dominated everything. Are they back?
6. Halcali – LONG KISS GOODBYE (Last Week #8)
Halcali pops up two spots this week just outside the Top 5. They haven’t been this high in a long time and they are looking to pull a NaNa by having a strong end of the year. It is great to see them back!
5. Kumi Koda – Taboo (Last Week #3)
Kumi Koda falls from the Top Three this week! She has a new video out but I saw a picture of the live performance on Music Fighter (I believe) and man…my baby boo is looking rough right about now. What’s wrong, baby?
4. YUI – I’ll Be (Last Week #5)
Another day, another YUI video. She has had THREE number two videos this year (Namidairo, Summer Song and Laugh Away) and to make it four in a year…that would hurt. Can this one FINALLY break the streak? We are down to three!
3. BoA – Eat You Up [Korean Version] (Last Week #4)
Korean invasion Part One! BoA moves up a spot to put her in the Top Three for the first time ever! This song has finally grown on me but I am waiting for her new single (Which should be out shortly) to see if she is REALLY trying to make this English thing work.
2. Rain (Bi) – Rainism (Last Week #2)
Korean invasion Part Two! Rain spends his second week at the runner up spot as he cannot dethrone the king! Even still, he is holding on tight! But with Bi at number two, the King is still on his throne!
1. T.I. feat Rihanna – Live Your Life (Last Week #1, Three Weeks at #1)
T.I. spends his third week at the top this week! I have to say I am still all about this song although I am sure it will be in a MetLife commercial next week. Either way, if you can sample the “Numa Numa Song” and make it a hit I have a lot of respect for you. Congrats, Tip…and Rihanna. Yeah, I gave her props now leave me alone.
That is all for this week! Next week the Countdown will return (Hopefully) to its regular date and time on Friday so be here to see if T.I. can make it a full month at the top! Or will Bi FINALLY make it rain on the top spot after an over two year wait? Or will BoA eat up the competition and become the new queen of the Countdown? See you in seven to find out!
Well, I am out. The Countdown was a tad bit late and I apologize for that one. I was WAAAAAAY too tired on Thursday and Friday to post it. I am going to head to the movies and then play some poker so until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Thuggin In The Boardroom, Fool!
So I am tired and odds are it is snowing like a bitch tomorrow so I have to leave hella early. Until Friday for the Countdown, you all stay up. But first, banging in the corporate world, yo:
Straight P2P'n, fool.
Chachi Out
Straight P2P'n, fool.
Chachi Out
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
No One On The Corner Has Swagger...Because They Are Homeless. JACKASS.
Alright, people. I have had JUST ABOUT ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT. If you don’t know what I am talking about, I will tell you. Who decides that the cool phrases are to say? I made the mistake of going to Mediatakeout and Bossip (Which are NEVER good ideas) and every other phrase is a set of words that make sounds with no meaning. Just a bunch of clicks and whistles. But it isn’t just there! Everywhere people are using words that I guess I am just not hip to care about but they sound so damn STUPID! So, not to sound like Grandpa Simpson but these are words that I never want to hear again. But first, let me tell you about the time I took the ferry to Ogdenville, which is what we called Shelbyville at the time….
1. Bust-It-Baby: Okay, I already commented on this once but what in the hell does this mean? In or out of context it doesn’t mean anything! You might as well run around in a yellow suit flailing your arms in the air and call yourself Bananaman because that’s what you are doing! This is one of those terms I guess was started by rappers and we all know about their literal eloquence. I mean, when I think of masterful vernacular…I think of Lil Jon:
I just love that video! Cooking and making that cootchie twitch? Now that edumacational!
2. No Homo: Okay, let me get this straight: people who wear oversized shirts, several thousand dollars worth of jewelry, hang around with a crew of big Black men, always talk about their cocks and accessorize down to their FUCKING SHOELACES have the nerve to use a phrase like “no homo?” Let me break it to you, simple like: NIGGA, YOU GAY! If you say no homo, then you are a homo. There is nothing wrong with being gay, but there is something very wrong with saying you aren’t gay when you dress like Liberace. Let’s face it: Rappers are gayer than Elton John fucking the corpse of Versace with George Michael filming it. Now THAT’S GAY.
3. Swag: Um…no. Seriously, no. Shut the fuck up. Especially Jim Jones. You ain’t even Black! You and Fabolous both need to quit that shit. Caribbean motherfuckers need to take your asses back to the islands!
4. Bromance: Okay…no. Anyone that EVER uses that term needs to be shot in the face. The facts show that one in every four bros is tragically and drunkenly raped. And yet you mock them by creating such a flippant term?! That is disrespecting the victim! All they wanted to do was listen to Dave Matthews Band and instead they were bent over a ping-pong table and plowed in the backfield like a Pittsburg Steelers blitz! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED! UNDE R THE TABLE AND DREAMING! ROBBLE ROBBLE!!
5. Ice Grill/Mean Mug: These phrases were cool in like….1996. Now they are just fucking sad. If you are pissed off because someone is staring at you then you need to go down a few steps in evolution. “That person is questioning my dominance by staring at me?! THIS IS FOR SPARTA, NIGGA!” Yeah, that makes perfect sense, dickweed. If you get mad over someone “mean mugging” you then we should send you to Mike Vick’s house. He knows what to do with your de-evolved ass. Yes, dog-fighting jokes are funny now. The Pope approved them yesterday on the Catholic Weekly Conference Call!
6. Jonas Brothers: I know they aren’t a phrase but I hate these little bastards. HANSON DID IT FIRST AND DID IT BETTER! GO AWAY! Hell, even The DiFranco Family were better than you guys!
O_O
Okay…you are better than The DiFranco Family. I still want you to go away, though.
Well, I am out for now. Kind of sleepy since these people STILL HAVE NOT FUCKING MOVED so I have to drive. Oh, and one last thing. If I give a rats ass about you, kind of give me a heads up about what you want for Christmas if anything. I stop being in a festive mood around the 20th so hit me before then with a hint of you want anything. If you don’t, all you are getting is a FAL-CUNT PAWNCH!!
Now THAT’S comedy. Peace, ya’ll.
Chachi Out
1. Bust-It-Baby: Okay, I already commented on this once but what in the hell does this mean? In or out of context it doesn’t mean anything! You might as well run around in a yellow suit flailing your arms in the air and call yourself Bananaman because that’s what you are doing! This is one of those terms I guess was started by rappers and we all know about their literal eloquence. I mean, when I think of masterful vernacular…I think of Lil Jon:
I just love that video! Cooking and making that cootchie twitch? Now that edumacational!
2. No Homo: Okay, let me get this straight: people who wear oversized shirts, several thousand dollars worth of jewelry, hang around with a crew of big Black men, always talk about their cocks and accessorize down to their FUCKING SHOELACES have the nerve to use a phrase like “no homo?” Let me break it to you, simple like: NIGGA, YOU GAY! If you say no homo, then you are a homo. There is nothing wrong with being gay, but there is something very wrong with saying you aren’t gay when you dress like Liberace. Let’s face it: Rappers are gayer than Elton John fucking the corpse of Versace with George Michael filming it. Now THAT’S GAY.
3. Swag: Um…no. Seriously, no. Shut the fuck up. Especially Jim Jones. You ain’t even Black! You and Fabolous both need to quit that shit. Caribbean motherfuckers need to take your asses back to the islands!
4. Bromance: Okay…no. Anyone that EVER uses that term needs to be shot in the face. The facts show that one in every four bros is tragically and drunkenly raped. And yet you mock them by creating such a flippant term?! That is disrespecting the victim! All they wanted to do was listen to Dave Matthews Band and instead they were bent over a ping-pong table and plowed in the backfield like a Pittsburg Steelers blitz! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED! UNDE R THE TABLE AND DREAMING! ROBBLE ROBBLE!!
5. Ice Grill/Mean Mug: These phrases were cool in like….1996. Now they are just fucking sad. If you are pissed off because someone is staring at you then you need to go down a few steps in evolution. “That person is questioning my dominance by staring at me?! THIS IS FOR SPARTA, NIGGA!” Yeah, that makes perfect sense, dickweed. If you get mad over someone “mean mugging” you then we should send you to Mike Vick’s house. He knows what to do with your de-evolved ass. Yes, dog-fighting jokes are funny now. The Pope approved them yesterday on the Catholic Weekly Conference Call!
6. Jonas Brothers: I know they aren’t a phrase but I hate these little bastards. HANSON DID IT FIRST AND DID IT BETTER! GO AWAY! Hell, even The DiFranco Family were better than you guys!
O_O
Okay…you are better than The DiFranco Family. I still want you to go away, though.
Well, I am out for now. Kind of sleepy since these people STILL HAVE NOT FUCKING MOVED so I have to drive. Oh, and one last thing. If I give a rats ass about you, kind of give me a heads up about what you want for Christmas if anything. I stop being in a festive mood around the 20th so hit me before then with a hint of you want anything. If you don’t, all you are getting is a FAL-CUNT PAWNCH!!
Now THAT’S comedy. Peace, ya’ll.
Chachi Out
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
The Blacker The Berry, The Harder It IS TO PUT IN YOUR FUCKING CONTACTS!
What is up, bitches?! I am back for a hot minute as I had the AWESOME luxury of working from home but since lawyers suck ass and the move of the building isn’t complete (Fucking hippies…I don’t see how shit ever gets done) I have to actually go in tomorrow. FUCKING BULLSHIT! Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed their time away from work and totally enjoyed their weekend. I had a five day weekend (Can I GET A W00T?!) and it went by WAAAAY too fast. Thems the breaks, though.
It is getting late and I wanted to give a follow-up about the fact that I gots me a new phone! You got that right, I finally didn’t get screwed by Verizon with my upgrade (I usually ended up getting a raw deal with either a first gen phone or being forced to upgrade because they FRIED MY ORIGINAL PHONE which has happened twice. Long story short, I got a Blackberry Storm for $49 dollars. There is a rebate of $50 added into that, but because of all the shit I went through with my eNV’s dying because I went through three of them in 18 months and the subsequent bumbling of my account in the times between I got a pretty sweet discount and they cut my bill about $25 despite having the unlimited data plan. I didn’t even ask for that, but something about customer service making amends for a rape in the face really touches me. Here is to hoping they don’t rape me in the face with the Blackberry.
I will give a more in-depth coverage later this week but just know this: I couldn’t transfer my contacts over and that in itself dropped it in my book. I have VCast but I can’t have Get It Now?! With as much as the monthly plan is? Eat a dick! However, I was surprised by just how beautiful this thing is. I mean it puts the iPhone to shame even though it has a lower resolution screen. My widescreen wallpapers look TITS on this bad boy.
However, using the keyboard is a BITCH. At least when you start. Once you figure out you need to type at an angle to avoid fat-fingering you get the hang of it. After about an hour of putting in MY OWN FUCKING CONTACTS I was able to fly through it with minimal hot-keying (where they finish the word for you. I hate that shit) and misspellings.
In short, the BlackBerry Storm is like buying a gun and realizing it doesn’t shoot bullets…but mountain lions. It is cooler than what you expected but you really just want to shoot a motherfucker, not have them mauled. It makes sense when you think about it. Well, I am out for now. Hopefully I can do my blog updates on the bus to avoid staying up late after tomorrow but it aint fucking likely since people around here are DOING IT WRONG. Also, I may give you a rundown of what happened last week over Thanksgiving Eve on Wednesday. Koreatown is a HELL OF A TOWN, I tell you what. Anyone down to go this Friday let me know.
Until then, stay up peeps and I will try to be back tomorrow.
Chachi Out
It is getting late and I wanted to give a follow-up about the fact that I gots me a new phone! You got that right, I finally didn’t get screwed by Verizon with my upgrade (I usually ended up getting a raw deal with either a first gen phone or being forced to upgrade because they FRIED MY ORIGINAL PHONE which has happened twice. Long story short, I got a Blackberry Storm for $49 dollars. There is a rebate of $50 added into that, but because of all the shit I went through with my eNV’s dying because I went through three of them in 18 months and the subsequent bumbling of my account in the times between I got a pretty sweet discount and they cut my bill about $25 despite having the unlimited data plan. I didn’t even ask for that, but something about customer service making amends for a rape in the face really touches me. Here is to hoping they don’t rape me in the face with the Blackberry.
I will give a more in-depth coverage later this week but just know this: I couldn’t transfer my contacts over and that in itself dropped it in my book. I have VCast but I can’t have Get It Now?! With as much as the monthly plan is? Eat a dick! However, I was surprised by just how beautiful this thing is. I mean it puts the iPhone to shame even though it has a lower resolution screen. My widescreen wallpapers look TITS on this bad boy.
However, using the keyboard is a BITCH. At least when you start. Once you figure out you need to type at an angle to avoid fat-fingering you get the hang of it. After about an hour of putting in MY OWN FUCKING CONTACTS I was able to fly through it with minimal hot-keying (where they finish the word for you. I hate that shit) and misspellings.
In short, the BlackBerry Storm is like buying a gun and realizing it doesn’t shoot bullets…but mountain lions. It is cooler than what you expected but you really just want to shoot a motherfucker, not have them mauled. It makes sense when you think about it. Well, I am out for now. Hopefully I can do my blog updates on the bus to avoid staying up late after tomorrow but it aint fucking likely since people around here are DOING IT WRONG. Also, I may give you a rundown of what happened last week over Thanksgiving Eve on Wednesday. Koreatown is a HELL OF A TOWN, I tell you what. Anyone down to go this Friday let me know.
Until then, stay up peeps and I will try to be back tomorrow.
Chachi Out
Monday, December 01, 2008
Sunday, November 30, 2008
What The Fuck Is A Wazzle?!
Hey, ya’ll! It is a cold fucking wintery day in Colorado which means my black ass aint going nowhere. I am going to get some tea, watch the Falcons play the Chargers and keep warm in enjoyment of having Monday off. Also, I will be getting my Blackberry Storm on Monday which means I FINALLY GET RID OF THIS SHITBALL PHONE and odds are…get stuck with another shitball phone. Hopefully the Storm will do me right like my T720 did. That thing fell off the balcony at the UCCS dorms and STILL worked. I looked at the eNV wrong and the cockmonger wouldn’t charge. I don’t want to be all “back in my day” but back in my day, SHIT FUCKING WORKED! My Nintendo never had the red ring of death! The red ring of death was something you created to try and destroy that invincible motherfucker after it would lock up on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles against Shredder! Remember the old X-Box? That was the last real tough system. Screw giving the troops armor and weapons, give them all the original X-Box units Microsoft didn’t sell! And use those fucking controllers as bombs! Hiroshima and Nagasaki aint got SHIT on the damage an Xbox controller would do to Afghanistan! Wipe out Osama Bin Laden AND play Ninja Gaiden? That’s what I am talking about! Although finding Bin Laden is a hell of a lot easier than beating Ninja Gaiden for the Xbox. I’m just saying.
So Thanksgiving has come and gone which means it is about the time for the biggest holiday in this country not involving fireworks or drunken Jewish sex. Yom Kippur is some CRAZY times. I kid, I kid. I meant drunken IRISH sex. Either way, Christmastime is here! Time to celebrate the day where Santa saved us from the tyranny of the Cinco Easter Bunnies and their Zombie Leprechaun minions! Or something like that, I kind of zoned in and out when that drunken guy on the 16th Street Mall told me the story. He was wise beyond his drunken, homeless years. With Christmas here, that means that there are five things that will come with the holiday season that I hate:
1. Jesus: I have said it once and I will say it again. All signs point to Jesus not being born in December. Well, I guess seeing as how Jesus Christ is an amalgam of a bunch of other dudes which would make him a FICTIONAL CHARACTER…his birthday can be whenever he wants it to be. He better change that shit, preferably to around Easter or maybe Cinco De Mayo. Mexicans are Catholics and it gives them more reason to drink Coronas and listen to “El Tigre De Norte” on their front lawns. Like they need a reason. Racism, peeps. It’s hilarious!
2. Christmas Carols: Well, the ones about Santa are OKAY but I could do without “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” at all. It means either mommy is a whore or daddy likes to role play which is one step away from being a furfag and YIFFING HAS NO PLACE IN THE HOLIDAY SEASON. I swear, if people dress like fucking reindeers and “jingle the bells” I will fucking KILL YOU. Anyway, Christmas songs about Jebus are LAME. The only good Christmas carol is “Last Christmas” by Wham. Because last Christmas, I gave you my heart. But the very next day…you gave it away:
3. A Charlie Brown Christmas: Okay, I know I should not hate this seeing as how all the other Peanuts Gang specials I totally love. Even their little remembered “I Had To Have An Abortion, Charlie Brown!” and “You Have A Restraining Order Against You, Charlie Brown!” which were like afterschool specials meet George Gershwin. I know a lot of you don’t get that joke and quite honestly…neither do I. Gotta know your audience. However, I haven’t liked the Charlie Brown Christmas special since I saw this:
I mean, how can you top Franklin and Sally cutting it loose to Andre 3000?! You can’t! This video has officially ruined me from Christmas specials! As a matter of fact, I haven’t really been a fan of any Christmas Specials except of course The Fresh Prince of Bel Air Christmas Special. It had Young MC on it!
4. Candy Canes: Is it just me, or are candy canes just oversized and overpriced starlight mints? I mean they taste good in hot cocoa but aside from that they are worthless. They are nasty as hell and are always given out for free for a reason: they suck.
5. Parking: I hate the fact that during the holidays I can’t ever go anywhere and find a place to fucking park. I will never forget how last year a lady tried to box me in at the Chapel Hills Mall by parking BEHIND ME in front of Borders. Needless to say, I was pissed. But it is like that EVERYWHERE, even when you want to make a quick stop for something. You would figure that people would be more open to shopping online seeing as how they search for deviant porn without a concern of getting V&. Yet, they fear shopping online. Stupidity never ceases.
Aside from that, I am looking forward to this year’s Christmas time. I could do without the Jesus or the cheesiness of the season but you have to look past that if you want to enjoy it. I also may see “A Christmas Carol” this year if anyone is interested in going with me. If not, eat a dick. I am about to brave the elements and get myself something for my still aching throat (I TOTALLY shouldn’t have sang on Friday). I will try to be back up on Monday for a review of my new phone and if not tomorrow then definitely Friday. Until then, stay up peeps!
Chachi Out
So Thanksgiving has come and gone which means it is about the time for the biggest holiday in this country not involving fireworks or drunken Jewish sex. Yom Kippur is some CRAZY times. I kid, I kid. I meant drunken IRISH sex. Either way, Christmastime is here! Time to celebrate the day where Santa saved us from the tyranny of the Cinco Easter Bunnies and their Zombie Leprechaun minions! Or something like that, I kind of zoned in and out when that drunken guy on the 16th Street Mall told me the story. He was wise beyond his drunken, homeless years. With Christmas here, that means that there are five things that will come with the holiday season that I hate:
1. Jesus: I have said it once and I will say it again. All signs point to Jesus not being born in December. Well, I guess seeing as how Jesus Christ is an amalgam of a bunch of other dudes which would make him a FICTIONAL CHARACTER…his birthday can be whenever he wants it to be. He better change that shit, preferably to around Easter or maybe Cinco De Mayo. Mexicans are Catholics and it gives them more reason to drink Coronas and listen to “El Tigre De Norte” on their front lawns. Like they need a reason. Racism, peeps. It’s hilarious!
2. Christmas Carols: Well, the ones about Santa are OKAY but I could do without “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” at all. It means either mommy is a whore or daddy likes to role play which is one step away from being a furfag and YIFFING HAS NO PLACE IN THE HOLIDAY SEASON. I swear, if people dress like fucking reindeers and “jingle the bells” I will fucking KILL YOU. Anyway, Christmas songs about Jebus are LAME. The only good Christmas carol is “Last Christmas” by Wham. Because last Christmas, I gave you my heart. But the very next day…you gave it away:
3. A Charlie Brown Christmas: Okay, I know I should not hate this seeing as how all the other Peanuts Gang specials I totally love. Even their little remembered “I Had To Have An Abortion, Charlie Brown!” and “You Have A Restraining Order Against You, Charlie Brown!” which were like afterschool specials meet George Gershwin. I know a lot of you don’t get that joke and quite honestly…neither do I. Gotta know your audience. However, I haven’t liked the Charlie Brown Christmas special since I saw this:
I mean, how can you top Franklin and Sally cutting it loose to Andre 3000?! You can’t! This video has officially ruined me from Christmas specials! As a matter of fact, I haven’t really been a fan of any Christmas Specials except of course The Fresh Prince of Bel Air Christmas Special. It had Young MC on it!
4. Candy Canes: Is it just me, or are candy canes just oversized and overpriced starlight mints? I mean they taste good in hot cocoa but aside from that they are worthless. They are nasty as hell and are always given out for free for a reason: they suck.
5. Parking: I hate the fact that during the holidays I can’t ever go anywhere and find a place to fucking park. I will never forget how last year a lady tried to box me in at the Chapel Hills Mall by parking BEHIND ME in front of Borders. Needless to say, I was pissed. But it is like that EVERYWHERE, even when you want to make a quick stop for something. You would figure that people would be more open to shopping online seeing as how they search for deviant porn without a concern of getting V&. Yet, they fear shopping online. Stupidity never ceases.
Aside from that, I am looking forward to this year’s Christmas time. I could do without the Jesus or the cheesiness of the season but you have to look past that if you want to enjoy it. I also may see “A Christmas Carol” this year if anyone is interested in going with me. If not, eat a dick. I am about to brave the elements and get myself something for my still aching throat (I TOTALLY shouldn’t have sang on Friday). I will try to be back up on Monday for a review of my new phone and if not tomorrow then definitely Friday. Until then, stay up peeps!
Chachi Out
Friday, November 28, 2008
Screw Leftovers, I Got NEW STUFFING FOR YA'LL!
I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving! But don’t gorge on the leftovers just yet! I got twenty piping hot new videos for you to put on the plate! It is time for the….
Passion of Chachi Top 20 Video Countdown!
First, let us say goodbye to the videos Falling Out:
John Legend feat Andre 3000 – Green Light (Peaked at #1 for One Week)
Big Bang – Number 1 (Peaked at #14)
Well, John better give me some new shit and Big Bang already answered my request so expect to see them back. Let’s get started with my baby boo looking to fall off!
20. Yuna Ito – Miss You (Last Week #16)
Yuna Ito looks to be spending her final week on the Countdown this week.
19. RSP with DA BUBBLE GUM BROTHERS – LA.LA.LA LOVE SONG (New Entry)
One of the best covers of the TK classic ever! Add in the legendary BUBBLE GUM BROTHERS and you have a kick ass remake! RSP has been lingering on my radar for a while and this one finally gets my full attention!
18. UVERworld – Koishikute (Last Week #14)
UVERworld falls four spots this week as we begin the stretch run for the Chachi Music Awards. Can they get an album out before the cut off?
17. Young Jeezy – Crazy World (New Entry)
Jeezy is finally back to follow up “Put On!” This song has grown on me and the video feels like a sequel to Put On so I am cool with it.
16. Hyori Lee – Hey Mr. Big! (Last Week #12)
Miss Hyori falls four more spots this week as I haven’t seen much new from her so she may just be doing promo now.
15. Ikimonogakari – Kimagure Romanteikku (Last Week #20)
I. LOVE. THIS. SONG! Catchy as hell and you gottal love the RPG style video!
14. Alicia Keys - Superwoman (Last Week #11)
Alicia falls three spots as we move on. I wonder what she will do in 2009? Lay low?
13. Paramore – Decode (Last Week #18)
God, I refuse to see “Twilight” but I love this song and video. That and I love Hayley but that is to be expected.
12. T.I. – What Up, What’s Happening (Last Week #9)
The King falls from the Top 10 with this one. Can I just say about the dipshittery at the Dirty Awards: WHY WOULD YOU FUCK WITH ALFAMEGA?! I mean, I’ve seen pit bulls that smile more!
11. Hearts Grow – Sora (Last Week #7, Three Weeks at #1)
Hearts Grow falls from the Top 10 for the first time in almost three months! Could they pull the upset for the biggest video of 2009 on the Year End Countdown Extravaganza?
10. UVERworld – Hakanaku mo Towa no Kanashi (Last Week #13)
The World is back again! They move up three spots and back into the Top 10 for the third time this year! Is the streak finally over?
9. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Remember (Last Week #6)
After peaking outside the Top Five last week, HAMC falls three spots this week. Is this the last time we will ever see them?
8. Halcali – LONG KISS GOODBYE (Last Week #15, Biggest Mover)
Halcali isn’t messing around! They move up a huge SEVEN SPOTS this week and back into the Top Ten for the first time since “Look” in 2006! This will be a ringtone once my Blackberry Storm gets here, btw.
7. Wonder Girls - Nobody (Last Week #4, One Week at #1)
The Wonder Girls fall another three spots this week after pretty much dominating the fall season. Will we get something new from them soon?
6. Kanye West – Love Lockdown (Last Week #3, Two Weeks at #1)
So with a new hit album and two new videos out, I don’t think Kanye is too upset about falling from the Top Three this week. Although I must say he is being crept on for Artist of the Year Chachi Award by our next video…
5. YUI – I’ll Be (Last Week #10)
YUI jumps of five big spots into the Top Five for the FOURTH TIME IN 2008! Can she FINALLY take the top spot after an almost two year hiatus? With that, she could repeat as Artist of the Year!
4. BoA – Eat You Up [Korean Version] (Last Week #8)
Okay…this video is finally growing on me. I am not a fan of the fact that BoA is going all “Dirrrty” on me but I will love my baby boo forever and that is why she moves up into the Top Five for the first time ever!
3. Kumi Koda – Taboo (Last Week #2)
Miss Koda falls back one spot this week! She came close to taking over the number one spot but got held off! No biggie, she has a new single and video out so she aint worried.
2. Rain (Bi) – Rainism (Last Week #5)
RAIN IS BACK! For the first time since December of 2006, Bi is looking at a serious shot at being the new King! With arguably the biggest album not by someone from New Orleans, Rain is making his move! However, he fell short of dethroning the reigning king…
1. T.I. feat Rihanna – Live Your Life (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
TI and Rihanna are living their life on the top for the second straight week! So it looks to be between Kanye, T.I. and YUI for the Artist of the Year as all three have been dominant. However, there is something to be said about having three Top Three videos in a two month span which The King of the South has! Also, I am really pissed off about the whole Shawty Lo situation that broke off. I mean no one knows who that fuckwit is and all T.I. does is keep him in the spotlight! Either way, only one has the number one video and it aint that “Dunn Dunn” guy.
That is all for this week! We have a BATTLE FOR THE TOP SPOT as T.I. was able to hold on but Rain is right there ready to start his own reign! Kumi Koda, BoA and YUI are all looking at taking the throne back for the ladies as well. Look out for Halcali and even UVERworld to make moves next week! See you in seven!
Well, I have to go to the cleaners and then get pumped for a 4 and a half day weekend! I will be back this weekend at some point to give you more. Until then, stay up peeps!
Chachi Out!
Passion of Chachi Top 20 Video Countdown!
First, let us say goodbye to the videos Falling Out:
John Legend feat Andre 3000 – Green Light (Peaked at #1 for One Week)
Big Bang – Number 1 (Peaked at #14)
Well, John better give me some new shit and Big Bang already answered my request so expect to see them back. Let’s get started with my baby boo looking to fall off!
20. Yuna Ito – Miss You (Last Week #16)
Yuna Ito looks to be spending her final week on the Countdown this week.
19. RSP with DA BUBBLE GUM BROTHERS – LA.LA.LA LOVE SONG (New Entry)
One of the best covers of the TK classic ever! Add in the legendary BUBBLE GUM BROTHERS and you have a kick ass remake! RSP has been lingering on my radar for a while and this one finally gets my full attention!
18. UVERworld – Koishikute (Last Week #14)
UVERworld falls four spots this week as we begin the stretch run for the Chachi Music Awards. Can they get an album out before the cut off?
17. Young Jeezy – Crazy World (New Entry)
Jeezy is finally back to follow up “Put On!” This song has grown on me and the video feels like a sequel to Put On so I am cool with it.
16. Hyori Lee – Hey Mr. Big! (Last Week #12)
Miss Hyori falls four more spots this week as I haven’t seen much new from her so she may just be doing promo now.
15. Ikimonogakari – Kimagure Romanteikku (Last Week #20)
I. LOVE. THIS. SONG! Catchy as hell and you gottal love the RPG style video!
14. Alicia Keys - Superwoman (Last Week #11)
Alicia falls three spots as we move on. I wonder what she will do in 2009? Lay low?
13. Paramore – Decode (Last Week #18)
God, I refuse to see “Twilight” but I love this song and video. That and I love Hayley but that is to be expected.
12. T.I. – What Up, What’s Happening (Last Week #9)
The King falls from the Top 10 with this one. Can I just say about the dipshittery at the Dirty Awards: WHY WOULD YOU FUCK WITH ALFAMEGA?! I mean, I’ve seen pit bulls that smile more!
11. Hearts Grow – Sora (Last Week #7, Three Weeks at #1)
Hearts Grow falls from the Top 10 for the first time in almost three months! Could they pull the upset for the biggest video of 2009 on the Year End Countdown Extravaganza?
10. UVERworld – Hakanaku mo Towa no Kanashi (Last Week #13)
The World is back again! They move up three spots and back into the Top 10 for the third time this year! Is the streak finally over?
9. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Remember (Last Week #6)
After peaking outside the Top Five last week, HAMC falls three spots this week. Is this the last time we will ever see them?
8. Halcali – LONG KISS GOODBYE (Last Week #15, Biggest Mover)
Halcali isn’t messing around! They move up a huge SEVEN SPOTS this week and back into the Top Ten for the first time since “Look” in 2006! This will be a ringtone once my Blackberry Storm gets here, btw.
7. Wonder Girls - Nobody (Last Week #4, One Week at #1)
The Wonder Girls fall another three spots this week after pretty much dominating the fall season. Will we get something new from them soon?
6. Kanye West – Love Lockdown (Last Week #3, Two Weeks at #1)
So with a new hit album and two new videos out, I don’t think Kanye is too upset about falling from the Top Three this week. Although I must say he is being crept on for Artist of the Year Chachi Award by our next video…
5. YUI – I’ll Be (Last Week #10)
YUI jumps of five big spots into the Top Five for the FOURTH TIME IN 2008! Can she FINALLY take the top spot after an almost two year hiatus? With that, she could repeat as Artist of the Year!
4. BoA – Eat You Up [Korean Version] (Last Week #8)
Okay…this video is finally growing on me. I am not a fan of the fact that BoA is going all “Dirrrty” on me but I will love my baby boo forever and that is why she moves up into the Top Five for the first time ever!
3. Kumi Koda – Taboo (Last Week #2)
Miss Koda falls back one spot this week! She came close to taking over the number one spot but got held off! No biggie, she has a new single and video out so she aint worried.
2. Rain (Bi) – Rainism (Last Week #5)
RAIN IS BACK! For the first time since December of 2006, Bi is looking at a serious shot at being the new King! With arguably the biggest album not by someone from New Orleans, Rain is making his move! However, he fell short of dethroning the reigning king…
1. T.I. feat Rihanna – Live Your Life (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
TI and Rihanna are living their life on the top for the second straight week! So it looks to be between Kanye, T.I. and YUI for the Artist of the Year as all three have been dominant. However, there is something to be said about having three Top Three videos in a two month span which The King of the South has! Also, I am really pissed off about the whole Shawty Lo situation that broke off. I mean no one knows who that fuckwit is and all T.I. does is keep him in the spotlight! Either way, only one has the number one video and it aint that “Dunn Dunn” guy.
That is all for this week! We have a BATTLE FOR THE TOP SPOT as T.I. was able to hold on but Rain is right there ready to start his own reign! Kumi Koda, BoA and YUI are all looking at taking the throne back for the ladies as well. Look out for Halcali and even UVERworld to make moves next week! See you in seven!
Well, I have to go to the cleaners and then get pumped for a 4 and a half day weekend! I will be back this weekend at some point to give you more. Until then, stay up peeps!
Chachi Out!
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Boy Bands & Thanksgiving: Nothing In Common.
First off, let me say HAPPY THANKSGIVING, PEEPS! I hope you are all spending time with your families and/or loved ones. I will do the same but first it is time for a special Turkey Day post. Nicole asked me to do this and I decided “why the hell not” so I give to you a special Thursday countdown. Today, I will count down twenty of the one thing we should be the most thankful for: boy bands. Without boy bands we wouldn’t have funky fresh dance moves, a scientific meaning for “the shy one” and most importantly we would have a hell of a lot more country. And no one wants that. So, I bring to you on this special day of days…
Passion of Chachi Presents: Top 20 Boy Bands of the 90’s!
I tried to make this as fair as possible and chose the 90’s because that was the beginning, the end and the return of the boy band…all in one decade. The 90’s were a simpler time and boy bands gave us hope. They helped us dream. They gave us killer dance routines. To thank them I will rank them and count them down for you. It’s what they and the boy band gods would want. First, a few honorable mentions!
B4-4
Why They Didn’t Make It: Well, although their concept was created in 1999 I believe, they didn’t become a group until 2001. That and this may be the worst fucking video I have ever seen. And I saw R. Kelly pee on that child.
3T
Why They Didn’t Make It: Well, mostly because they only had one good song (And not this one. Something about letting little boys sing with Michael Jackson just…doesn’t fit for me) and even though “Anything” was a great song…they are fucking creepy.
Let’s get this bad boy started!
20. Immature/iMX
Synopsis: Immature came in when Black boy bands stopped being considered “boy bands” so their focus tried to be on the music. Problem was that they weren’t really that good of singers. Surprisingly, they actually had some very good songs (Never Lie, Feel The Funk, Give Up The Ghost with Bizzy Bone which is a personal favorite of mine) which is what puts them on here. After the fact, they spun off a little boy band by the name of B2K in the 2000’s but Immature was kind of underrated and really overlooked as a boy band.
19. DreamStreet
Synopsis: DreamStreet got a really bad rap and I will admit a lot of it is well deserved. Their voices were FUCKING ANNOYING AS HELL and their dancing was subpar to be nice. However, they were proof that girls screaming causes more girls to scream. It was ridiculous how popular these guys were but when you look at them you can see why. They make puppies look like crap! They really don’t have a great collection of songs and fell off first of the younger boy bands in the late 90’s but it DID give us Jesse McCartney so it wasn’t all bad. YES, I like Jesse McCartney…wanna fight about it?
18. soulDecision
Synopsis: Okay, this one is tough to judge because SoulDecision didn’t dance (I believe) so I have to give them no points there. However, they had one of the best, albeit underplayed, songs of the 90’s with “Faded.” They were multifaceted musically with ballads, dance songs and up-tempo tracks. They really got overshadowed by the more popular bands but I put them up there with the best of them in song quality.
17. Take That
Synopsis: Now I for one never really liked Take That. I heard them when I was overseas and then we I got back to the states I had to hear the SAME SONGS OVER AGAIN, much like with Ace of Base. With that being said, I can’t take away from their songs and talent. They were one of the better British boy bands and did give us Robbie Williams. Which is neither a plus or a minus.
16. Soul IV Real
Synopsis: Soul IV Real is another one of the Black boy bands that was just categorized as “R&B” which really limited them. I for one STILL bump “Candy Rain” cuz I don’t give a fuck if you don’t like it. Now the major problem that hit this group hits everyone at some point: puberty. When puberty hit (Like…four months after this video or some shit) the lead singers voice changed and shit went downhill from there. Despite that, Soul IV Real had a great first album and…um…yeah.
15. Color Me Badd
Synopsis: You know GOD DAMNED WELL you loved some Color Me Badd! I have to say when they came out I was overseas (Aviano, Italy) and EVERYONE HAD THIS TAPE. Yes, I said tape. Their first album gave us CLASSIC 90’s songs from “I Wanna Sex You Up” to “All For Love.” I can honestly say that these guys gave NKOTB a run for their money for a while in terms of popularity. They could sing, they could dance and someone out their thought they were sexy (I was more of a Jordan Knight man myself) because they were on everything! Unfortunately, their albums after their first one all sucked it dry. But man, they were fucking AWESOME for that one year!
14. BBMak
YES, YES AND MORE YES. BBMak may just be the most underappreciated boy band of all time. They played real instruments, wrote awesome songs and had the voices of angels! If you can listen to “Back Here” and not think it is a great pop song then you don’t know pop music, my friend. They had a few other hits but being from across the pond, Americans lost their interest quickly because we were too busy with our Macarena and shit like that. Yeah, we suck but BBMak didn’t.
13. All-4-One
You know, I was never really a fan of All-4-One. That didn’t mean every female I knew wasn’t, though. Chicks totally dug these guys and I guess I see why. Between “I Swear”, “I Can Love You Like That” and “So Much In Love” they have weddings, proms and stalkers outside of windows with jamboxes market locked down from Peter Gabriel. Now they didn’t really DANCE but being a boy band isn’t ALL about the dancing. It sure as hell should be, though.
12. 2Gether
AAAAWWWWW YEEEEAAAAAHHH! One of the best boy bands of the 90’s was actually a spoof on boy bands! 2gether was on MTV as kind of a knock on the boy band craze and actually ended up being one of the bigger boy bands of the time. It started off as movie (Which was awesome) which parleyed into a show (Which was uber-awesome) and then led to an album with RULED. They danced (Albeit poorly), they sang (Although it even poorer than their dancing) and they got mad honeys. Can’t beat that!
11. O-Town
Okay, who DIDN’T watch “Making The Band?” If you did then you know about some O-Town. Now I believe the show started in 1999 but the band actually didn’t DO anything until 2000 but I will let it slide. Mostly because their first album wasn’t bad. It was actually…good. Problem was that when you get created on a TV show, no one takes you seriously and no one did. So they fell off after their next album but for a yeah they were the hottest band out there.
10. LFO (Lyte Funky Ones)
We are down to ten and we start off with arguably the most hated boy band in the 90’s. “Summer Girls” was one of those songs that was good the first time you heard it because you could relate…but then you heard it all the time. LITERALLY ALL THE FUCKING TIME. But Summer Girls is one of the best boy band songs because once you don’t hear it for a year and you hear it again you are no longer pissed. Can’t say that about “Closing Time” I tell you what.
9. New Edition
Okay, this one was a little rough. They broke up in 1989/1990 after NE Heartbreak but they got back together in 1996 for “Home Again” with arguably their best song “I’m Still In Love With You.” New Edition was the best boy band in the 80’s in my honest opinion and even though their reunion was a bit of a letdown they still got down. More from them later…
8. Westlife
Okay, I used to HATE Westlife but then they covered Frank Sinatra. AND DID IT RIGHT! Let me explain something to the peeps: when you cover The Chairman of the Board you better have your game tight and dammit they were on it. The covered “More Than Words” AND “Uptown Girl!” I never really saw them dance but they have the best voices of any boy band STILL TO THIS DAY. Yeah, I said it. Come get some.
7. Hi-Five
You know, I have to say that Hi-Five is one of my favorite boy bands ever. Hell, maybe one of my favorite groups of all time. They made great R&B and pop songs and Tony Thompson had a serviceable singing voice. They could dance and even had the other members drop some vocals rather than have Tony sing all the time. It sucks that reunion talks were going on when Tony Thompson died.
6. 98 Degrees
The dreamy Nick Lachey. My bad, gotta focus. 98 Degrees was in the wrong place at the wrong time. They began as a “R&B” group after the “Invisible Man” fiasco which has a great song but was really marketed toward Blacks and unless it’s Steve Winwood we don’t like White’s in our Soul music. When they pivoted to being more pop they took off…but behind two BIGGER groups who will remain nameless. They had great albums, did a little (and I mean a LITTLE) bit of dancing and could really fricking sing. But they were always bronze medalists.
5. Bell Biv DeVoe (B.B.D.)
Only five more to go and we make it to my controversial pick. If you were around when New Edition broke up then you remember the anticipation of the Bell Biv DeVoe album. While most wouldn’t consider BBD a BOY BAND you have to consider what they came from. New Edition was THE boy band of the 80’s and all that changed was Michael Bivins rapped a little bit (At J-Tim used to beat-box…for some reason) so it is the exact same. “Poison” is EVERYONE’S FAVORITE SONG and they had the three tenants of boy banding down: fresh dance moves, good looks and catchy songs. Sounds like a boy band to me.
4. N’SYNC
Well you knew they were going to be on here somewhere! They were part of the initial movement that brought boy bands back into the mainstream but behind good looks and spiffy dance moves were actually great pop songs and above average singers. I DARE you to not sing “Bye Bye Bye” when it comes on and if you say you don’t then you obviously do…liar. This band spawned off the wannabe act Justin Timberlake (Wanting to be anything but white) and of course the gayest man in music today. Oh, and Lance Bass. JC Chasez is playing with the boys!
3. New Kids On The Block
Okay, first off The New Kids On The Block redefine boy band from just being dudes singing and dancing in a gay way to dudes singing and dancing in a gay way and getting massive amounts of lolis. Although by 1990 they were coming down off their major run from 1987-1989 they were still noth just the dominant boy band but the dominant musical act not named Michael Jackson. Their change to NKOTB really fell off but they are still one of the all time best. You KNOW you like “Step By Step” so stop frontin.
2. Backstreet Boys
OMG! HOW CAN THEY NOT BE NUMBER ONE?! Well, it was very close. I mean from 1997 to 2000, Backstreet Boys were everywhere and rightfully so. I mean come on, did they make a bad song? They had awesome dance moves (Before they got “too big” to dance) and a hell of a lot of great songs. “I Want It That Way” and “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)” are two of the greatest songs EVAR. You fucking know it, too. They are bigger in Japan than schoolgirls and they still are together, unlike almost ALL THE BOY BANDS ON HERE. Standing the test of time is something boy bands usually don’t do, peeps. And we are now down to one! WHO IS IT?!
1. Boyz II Men
East Coast swing, fools! Yes, Boyz II Men were the best boy band of the 90’s. From “Motownphilly” to “Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday” they dominated the early 90’s boy band scene that NKOTB left open and by the time they released “End Of The Road” they were THE BAND. There was no one bigger than Boyz II Men when it came to singing. They had some of the best songs ever written and even still danced, something most boy bands stop doing as they get older. When it all boils down, it couldn’t be anyone BUT Boyz II Men on the top of this bad boy.
Let the arguing begin! I am out for now; I will be back tomorrow for the official Countdown but until then stay up and enjoy the rest of your Thanksgiving!
Chachi Out!
Passion of Chachi Presents: Top 20 Boy Bands of the 90’s!
I tried to make this as fair as possible and chose the 90’s because that was the beginning, the end and the return of the boy band…all in one decade. The 90’s were a simpler time and boy bands gave us hope. They helped us dream. They gave us killer dance routines. To thank them I will rank them and count them down for you. It’s what they and the boy band gods would want. First, a few honorable mentions!
B4-4
Why They Didn’t Make It: Well, although their concept was created in 1999 I believe, they didn’t become a group until 2001. That and this may be the worst fucking video I have ever seen. And I saw R. Kelly pee on that child.
3T
Why They Didn’t Make It: Well, mostly because they only had one good song (And not this one. Something about letting little boys sing with Michael Jackson just…doesn’t fit for me) and even though “Anything” was a great song…they are fucking creepy.
Let’s get this bad boy started!
20. Immature/iMX
Synopsis: Immature came in when Black boy bands stopped being considered “boy bands” so their focus tried to be on the music. Problem was that they weren’t really that good of singers. Surprisingly, they actually had some very good songs (Never Lie, Feel The Funk, Give Up The Ghost with Bizzy Bone which is a personal favorite of mine) which is what puts them on here. After the fact, they spun off a little boy band by the name of B2K in the 2000’s but Immature was kind of underrated and really overlooked as a boy band.
19. DreamStreet
Synopsis: DreamStreet got a really bad rap and I will admit a lot of it is well deserved. Their voices were FUCKING ANNOYING AS HELL and their dancing was subpar to be nice. However, they were proof that girls screaming causes more girls to scream. It was ridiculous how popular these guys were but when you look at them you can see why. They make puppies look like crap! They really don’t have a great collection of songs and fell off first of the younger boy bands in the late 90’s but it DID give us Jesse McCartney so it wasn’t all bad. YES, I like Jesse McCartney…wanna fight about it?
18. soulDecision
Synopsis: Okay, this one is tough to judge because SoulDecision didn’t dance (I believe) so I have to give them no points there. However, they had one of the best, albeit underplayed, songs of the 90’s with “Faded.” They were multifaceted musically with ballads, dance songs and up-tempo tracks. They really got overshadowed by the more popular bands but I put them up there with the best of them in song quality.
17. Take That
Synopsis: Now I for one never really liked Take That. I heard them when I was overseas and then we I got back to the states I had to hear the SAME SONGS OVER AGAIN, much like with Ace of Base. With that being said, I can’t take away from their songs and talent. They were one of the better British boy bands and did give us Robbie Williams. Which is neither a plus or a minus.
16. Soul IV Real
Synopsis: Soul IV Real is another one of the Black boy bands that was just categorized as “R&B” which really limited them. I for one STILL bump “Candy Rain” cuz I don’t give a fuck if you don’t like it. Now the major problem that hit this group hits everyone at some point: puberty. When puberty hit (Like…four months after this video or some shit) the lead singers voice changed and shit went downhill from there. Despite that, Soul IV Real had a great first album and…um…yeah.
15. Color Me Badd
Synopsis: You know GOD DAMNED WELL you loved some Color Me Badd! I have to say when they came out I was overseas (Aviano, Italy) and EVERYONE HAD THIS TAPE. Yes, I said tape. Their first album gave us CLASSIC 90’s songs from “I Wanna Sex You Up” to “All For Love.” I can honestly say that these guys gave NKOTB a run for their money for a while in terms of popularity. They could sing, they could dance and someone out their thought they were sexy (I was more of a Jordan Knight man myself) because they were on everything! Unfortunately, their albums after their first one all sucked it dry. But man, they were fucking AWESOME for that one year!
14. BBMak
YES, YES AND MORE YES. BBMak may just be the most underappreciated boy band of all time. They played real instruments, wrote awesome songs and had the voices of angels! If you can listen to “Back Here” and not think it is a great pop song then you don’t know pop music, my friend. They had a few other hits but being from across the pond, Americans lost their interest quickly because we were too busy with our Macarena and shit like that. Yeah, we suck but BBMak didn’t.
13. All-4-One
You know, I was never really a fan of All-4-One. That didn’t mean every female I knew wasn’t, though. Chicks totally dug these guys and I guess I see why. Between “I Swear”, “I Can Love You Like That” and “So Much In Love” they have weddings, proms and stalkers outside of windows with jamboxes market locked down from Peter Gabriel. Now they didn’t really DANCE but being a boy band isn’t ALL about the dancing. It sure as hell should be, though.
12. 2Gether
AAAAWWWWW YEEEEAAAAAHHH! One of the best boy bands of the 90’s was actually a spoof on boy bands! 2gether was on MTV as kind of a knock on the boy band craze and actually ended up being one of the bigger boy bands of the time. It started off as movie (Which was awesome) which parleyed into a show (Which was uber-awesome) and then led to an album with RULED. They danced (Albeit poorly), they sang (Although it even poorer than their dancing) and they got mad honeys. Can’t beat that!
11. O-Town
Okay, who DIDN’T watch “Making The Band?” If you did then you know about some O-Town. Now I believe the show started in 1999 but the band actually didn’t DO anything until 2000 but I will let it slide. Mostly because their first album wasn’t bad. It was actually…good. Problem was that when you get created on a TV show, no one takes you seriously and no one did. So they fell off after their next album but for a yeah they were the hottest band out there.
10. LFO (Lyte Funky Ones)
We are down to ten and we start off with arguably the most hated boy band in the 90’s. “Summer Girls” was one of those songs that was good the first time you heard it because you could relate…but then you heard it all the time. LITERALLY ALL THE FUCKING TIME. But Summer Girls is one of the best boy band songs because once you don’t hear it for a year and you hear it again you are no longer pissed. Can’t say that about “Closing Time” I tell you what.
9. New Edition
Okay, this one was a little rough. They broke up in 1989/1990 after NE Heartbreak but they got back together in 1996 for “Home Again” with arguably their best song “I’m Still In Love With You.” New Edition was the best boy band in the 80’s in my honest opinion and even though their reunion was a bit of a letdown they still got down. More from them later…
8. Westlife
Okay, I used to HATE Westlife but then they covered Frank Sinatra. AND DID IT RIGHT! Let me explain something to the peeps: when you cover The Chairman of the Board you better have your game tight and dammit they were on it. The covered “More Than Words” AND “Uptown Girl!” I never really saw them dance but they have the best voices of any boy band STILL TO THIS DAY. Yeah, I said it. Come get some.
7. Hi-Five
You know, I have to say that Hi-Five is one of my favorite boy bands ever. Hell, maybe one of my favorite groups of all time. They made great R&B and pop songs and Tony Thompson had a serviceable singing voice. They could dance and even had the other members drop some vocals rather than have Tony sing all the time. It sucks that reunion talks were going on when Tony Thompson died.
6. 98 Degrees
The dreamy Nick Lachey. My bad, gotta focus. 98 Degrees was in the wrong place at the wrong time. They began as a “R&B” group after the “Invisible Man” fiasco which has a great song but was really marketed toward Blacks and unless it’s Steve Winwood we don’t like White’s in our Soul music. When they pivoted to being more pop they took off…but behind two BIGGER groups who will remain nameless. They had great albums, did a little (and I mean a LITTLE) bit of dancing and could really fricking sing. But they were always bronze medalists.
5. Bell Biv DeVoe (B.B.D.)
Only five more to go and we make it to my controversial pick. If you were around when New Edition broke up then you remember the anticipation of the Bell Biv DeVoe album. While most wouldn’t consider BBD a BOY BAND you have to consider what they came from. New Edition was THE boy band of the 80’s and all that changed was Michael Bivins rapped a little bit (At J-Tim used to beat-box…for some reason) so it is the exact same. “Poison” is EVERYONE’S FAVORITE SONG and they had the three tenants of boy banding down: fresh dance moves, good looks and catchy songs. Sounds like a boy band to me.
4. N’SYNC
Well you knew they were going to be on here somewhere! They were part of the initial movement that brought boy bands back into the mainstream but behind good looks and spiffy dance moves were actually great pop songs and above average singers. I DARE you to not sing “Bye Bye Bye” when it comes on and if you say you don’t then you obviously do…liar. This band spawned off the wannabe act Justin Timberlake (Wanting to be anything but white) and of course the gayest man in music today. Oh, and Lance Bass. JC Chasez is playing with the boys!
3. New Kids On The Block
Okay, first off The New Kids On The Block redefine boy band from just being dudes singing and dancing in a gay way to dudes singing and dancing in a gay way and getting massive amounts of lolis. Although by 1990 they were coming down off their major run from 1987-1989 they were still noth just the dominant boy band but the dominant musical act not named Michael Jackson. Their change to NKOTB really fell off but they are still one of the all time best. You KNOW you like “Step By Step” so stop frontin.
2. Backstreet Boys
OMG! HOW CAN THEY NOT BE NUMBER ONE?! Well, it was very close. I mean from 1997 to 2000, Backstreet Boys were everywhere and rightfully so. I mean come on, did they make a bad song? They had awesome dance moves (Before they got “too big” to dance) and a hell of a lot of great songs. “I Want It That Way” and “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)” are two of the greatest songs EVAR. You fucking know it, too. They are bigger in Japan than schoolgirls and they still are together, unlike almost ALL THE BOY BANDS ON HERE. Standing the test of time is something boy bands usually don’t do, peeps. And we are now down to one! WHO IS IT?!
1. Boyz II Men
East Coast swing, fools! Yes, Boyz II Men were the best boy band of the 90’s. From “Motownphilly” to “Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday” they dominated the early 90’s boy band scene that NKOTB left open and by the time they released “End Of The Road” they were THE BAND. There was no one bigger than Boyz II Men when it came to singing. They had some of the best songs ever written and even still danced, something most boy bands stop doing as they get older. When it all boils down, it couldn’t be anyone BUT Boyz II Men on the top of this bad boy.
Let the arguing begin! I am out for now; I will be back tomorrow for the official Countdown but until then stay up and enjoy the rest of your Thanksgiving!
Chachi Out!
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