Top of the evening to ye bastards! I am back on the scene with the gangsta lean! It is a rather letdown of a Monday (I was TOTALLY hoping for a blizzard so I could work remote) as Colorado Springs is officially Colorado’s taint and a half. Whenever I want it to snow, it doesn’t. As soon as I have something to do the wrath of Shiva rains upon me like a summon in Final Fantasy VIII:
Takes shorter time though, I will give reality that. So with that being said I guess this is post number 501 but…what the hell if Star Trek can shake off episode counting I can do it to posts. So I give to you…
Passion of Chachi’s 500th Post Recap Show Extravaganza!!!
So this will be in two parts. The first part (Or today’s post) will be a look back at my first 500 posts and reminisce about a better time when I was young, idealistic and a fun-loving go-getter with a pep in his step and a can-do attitude. Now, I really just realize that life is just a series of spirit-crushing defeats and sob-inducing lows until all those losses and heartbreaks help you get enough strength to achieve Bankai and you finally slay your inner puss:
Yeah, just like Ichigo vs. his inner hollow except my inner hollow liked to listen to power ballads and cry like a Boy Scout after the last overnighter of the year when he had to “learn the ways of being a man” by sharing a sleeping back with the scout master. Glad THAT shit is over. But I digress. Sometimes you have to know where you have been before you can know where you must go as to not to repeat your past mistakes. So, let us look back, shall we?
2006
The date was January 17th, 2006. After being unemployed for about two weeks and not showing up to my first day at T-Mobile (The beginning of my odyssey of like 20 jobs in 20 months after having 2 in almost 8 years) I decided I needed to apply myself. So I created a blog to capture my thoughts for the masses. Now back then I was a bright-eyed 25 year old who despite being raped by the man (Getting laid off kind of sucked even though I was paid for like…9 months afterward) was still optimistic about the world and thought that women had souls (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….bullshit) and the only thing you needed to worry about at a frat party was partying way too hard. As if there was such a thing which there ISN’T. It is funny; my first blog will be forever linked with the one man I despise more than anyone: 50 Cent. I barely remember this post but man when I wrote it I was PISSED. It began not only my love/hate relationship with hip hop but also my love/hate relationship with of all people Black women. It seems that back then I used to have Black friends that would read this and Black women said I was “hating” almost 4:1 over Black men saying it. Even though their only defense was that “50 is fine!” which scientifically showed that Black women may be stupider than silverbacks (More on my love of bestiality jokes later. I’m provocative!) when it comes to these matters because even a beast in the deepest and darkest of the jungle wouldn’t mate with that fucker. As you can tell….I’m STILL kind of an ass.
I noticed looking back that in the beginning I used to rant more. I ranted on the Confederate Flag, Cowboy Troy’s stupid Black ass, the decline of Hip Hop, the double-standard of women (Wanting all the power and none of the responsibility...which led to the zebra analogy) and of course just dipshits in general. Keep in mind that working in Denver I had a LOT of fodder to work with but at the end of the day I was beginning to find my stride as a blogger. My blogs were all over the place (anime one day, video games the next, women the next, etc) and that personally is what made the blog great. Add in some staples like the Countdown every Friday (Which I have only missed once. Dedication, bitches!) and of course “Learnin’ With Master Chief Captain Chachi” which taught us about the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy among other things (J-Pop 101, Offensive Humor and of course….Thugs). Even though 2006 ended on a bad note with me quitting my old job at The Q, I still had the tear stained keyboard of my blog that is my dear diary.
2007
Now this is where the proverbial shit hit the fan. The blog literally blew up as people started to read the damn thing and I became less prohibitive about my life. Even though the amount of posts went down from 2006, they were longer and I had nearly twice as many rants in 2007. With good reason, too. My life was FUCKED UP in 2007 and man….I actually enjoyed every minute of it because I was able to share it with the peeps. From the highs of seeing Wicked and The Little Mermaid to the lows of Chris Benoit and my total sham of a love life. It was all on here and you all read it…and laughed. Rightfully so; that is why I did it. In 2007 the blog became more than just something to do with my free time (and with so many jobs I rarely had any of it). It became my outlet for my views and a place to make people laugh, cry or even hate my guts. Yes, I totally pissed off about 94% of the female population including 98% of my female friends with my words on this bad boy. You know what? I really didn’t care. In retrospect, nothing that I said was wrong. Offensive? Maybe to the plebeians and ones that embodied my rant topics. Hurtful? Yes, the truth usually is because many of us don’t live it. Boy, do I know it. Dead on? You bet your sweet, sweet ass I was. Hey, it was all for help and entertainment. I am a showman and a shrink. Before any of you say that I am a trainwreck I know my faults, I just don’t care. I’m me and happy. Aside from the collie thing.
A lot of good came from 2007. Douchebrawl 2007 had triple the votes of 2006 and the 2nd Annual Chachi Awards actually got comments (Two…but it’s a start!). It was also a big year for “Master Chief Captain Chachi Goes Hollywood” with big reviews for Transformers, Spiderman 3, ATHFCMFFT and the surprising Ratatouille. I learned that Comcast is the devil (Man, am I having conversation about the Cast and their bandwidth tampering that is pissing me off right now. Fuck them) and that women are in the same club. 2007 was a year of instablility and the blog proved it. Did I ever really make sense in this thing? I mean I was borderline manic depressive! But by the end of the year everything made sense again as I went back…to where I fricking started from. And you know what? That ain’t such a bad thing:
Horrible movie, awesome song.
2008
So what does that leave for this year? Most comments about my blog in 2008 is that it is more pointed but it has gotten HELLA BITTER, especially during February to which I will admit. Valentine’s Day was an awkward time for me, I tell you what. However, this year has been more pointed and as you can tell, even thought I have definitely grown from the start of this blog the anger has not changed. Nor will it. As evident by the fact that I have a new rant for today! Can I get a whoop-whoop?!
Today’s Rant: Sympathy
First off, fuck St. Patrick’s Day. There, I said it. But once again…I digress. Now follow me on this one. Let’s take a mouse in a maze as an example. When a mouse goes through the maze and finds cheese, it always goes for it. It is instinct; all animals need sustenance at some point. Now if that cheese has an electric current running through it, the mouse gets shocked and backs away. Unsure what the fuck just happened (As would I. Brie is good but it aint a conduit), the mouse usually goes after it a second time…only to get zapped again. This happens about 65%-75% of the time, the other times the mouse says “fuck this shit, I’m gonna get me some peanut butter” and leaves it alone. Now after the second time, science has proven that the mouse will go for the cheese a third time about 50% of the time if it is hungry. The other 50% it will leave it alone and go away, understanding that if it tries to eat the cheese again that it will get shocked and it didn’t feel good. Now if electroshock is it’s thing that it will OF COURSE go after it but unless you are in “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest” that aint nobody’s thing. Now after time, science has proven that this is the same for even larger brained animals like cats, dogs and even monkeys (or Fiddys). After a negative reaction to something that they initially showed interest in will normally result in a lack of interest in said option and will cause a seeking out of a better and less painful solution. It is the same in the jungle with prey and predators. So….why do women get into the same shit over and over again and expect people to feel any sort of sympathy for their repeated attempts to achieve the pointless or proven unnecessary result? Are we to assume that once again….wildlife is smarter?
Say what you will about emotions and all of that jazz. At the end of the day, even the most basic of creatures use a logical progression to figure out their survival. I am not going to say animals don’t feel emotion (I believe that Shaolin watches “Homeward Bound” for a good cry) but they respond to stimuli in a LOGICAL fashion. They get bit, they attack or flee. When they are hungry, they either eat or go hungry. When they are sick, they eat grass or go to Safeway. At least Nala did; she used to drink that Lean but after the tragic death of Pimp C she backed off. Big ups to Sweet Jones. Let’s go into the emotional aspect. When a dog gets sent to the pound after being abused it takes time for it to adjust to new people once it gets adopted. It learns to trust again. Now if that family beats that dog, it is a dog and it for the most part has no other options except take it or run away. Dogs rely on the kindness of humans to help put a stop to it or it defends itself (Or cowers. That is also a part of instinct….ask the French. LE BURN!). Now let’s move to human beings. If you KNOW bad shit happens whenever you do something and you continue to do it then you are really at fault yourself. An animal is a victim because for the most part animals do not have the resources we do. Animals don’t have a police like they did in “Tailspin” or “Darkwing Duck” to call when things get rough. They really (for the most part) have no choice in the families they live with or the life they live. Humans do. You CHOOSE to date people. You ACCEPT a marriage proposal. If the time invested didn’t tell you that something was wrong or going to go wrong in that situation that is one thing. Some people aren’t dicks when you meet them. But some people are. Hell, MOST PEOPLE ARE.
Back to animals. We will never really know they have a concept of asshatery but when they see someone at the pound that they feel is a fucker, they usually growl or move away from said person. You know why? Instinct because animals can smell douchery. Now we humans with are highly advanced minds and superb educational system that gives women Psychology degrees for no reason except to keep them out of the kitchen (BAD MOVE!) can’t teach a simple way to NOT GET INTO A BAD SITUATION? REPEATEDLY?! I mean how many times has someone came to you with the EXACT same problem with a DIFFERENT person and you see the person and say “Are you fucking short some chromosomes?!” because you could smell the fucktard on said person from Hartford? More often than I can count, aieighty. What is even worse is the EXACT SAME PROBLEM WITH THE EXACT SAME PERSON. Fuck the definition of insanity, doing the same shit over and over again and expecting a different result is now the official definition of being a dumbass. I mean, a person that is insane really believes it will be different because they are fucking nuts. If you expect a different result from someone that has been a proven fucktard than to run around in a banana suit and calling themselves banana man at the first sign of being proven to be an idiot then they aren’t the idiot for lashing out like a ten year old at a Nintendo after losing to Mike Tyson in “Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out” for the tenth time in a row:
Whoa…flashback. Back to my rant. YOU ARE THE IDIOT. They aren’t mentally sound enough to know that they are being a fucker. You on the other hand, if women are as smart as they claim to be, can logically see how arguing with a idiot is going to end. My goal for the day when I wake up is to make sure that I don’t get in situations where fucked up shit can happen. It is kind of my thing; I really don’t like drama so I try to avoid drama queens and fucktards. Now I have slipped up on that sometimes and I know some of you are out there saying, “Hey, you end up in jacked up situations and relationships all the time! Who are you to judge?” Well, very simple answer to that. I am NOT judging anyone; I am just laying down a logical path to stay out of trouble. I AM saying that if you keep doing the same thing over and over to yourself, pretty soon people stop giving a fuck and honestly I believe they should. At the end of the day, the only person that can judge you is you (God doesn’t count, because he loves you no matter what you do or how many alterboys you fuck in the ass. God bless Catholics!) so if YOU are okay with your decisions then knock yourself out. However, if you are looking for sympathy you obviously AREN’T happy with your actions so figure out the issue and remedy it. Even if that means making a decision that doesn’t seem right at first because in the end…it’s all about your sanity.
Also, I don’t have the SAME jacked up shit happen. I have DIFFERENT jacked up shit happen which not only means I have learned a lot but it means that I can have a good laugh at my own expense because I can chalk it up as a loss and charge it to the game. When you charge it to the game, you have to pay attention to the bill so you don’t end up getting that shitty entrée or watching that horrible movie again. That is one to grow on.
Sorry about the downer of a rant but that is some shit that must be said. That works for all walks of life, all ages and most problems. The evitable is one thing but when you know the end results it is up to you to make that choice for the better. Ask any boxer; the best counter-punch is stopping your opponents punch before they even throw it. Ask this dude:
Damn….now that’s gangsta. I am out for now. Depending on how Comcast wants to fuck with my bandwidth I will have the second half of my 500th Post Extravaganza tomorrow. This one is for the fellas. Hot ladies abound!
On another serious note, a big thanks to everyone that comes here. I truly appreciate you coming on and reading what I have to say. I hope you have enjoyed what I put up because I enjoy having an outlet to release my anger and give my insight. So you come on back now, ya hear? You always have a seat and a nice cool glass of knowledge and laughs at the Passion of Chachi. Until the next time we meet, you stay up now.
Live, Laugh, Learn and Love.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Eight Isn't Enough!
What is up, people! It is a cold ass Sunday night but Douchebrawl 2008 is officially heating up! We have our eight Regional Finalists and here are the results of the Suckass Sixteen!
Acting Region
(1) Tom Cruise over (12) New York (Tiffany Pollard)
Tom Cruise dominated the upstart New York in his Suckass Sixteen return. She got very far in her first year in the tournament but she couldn’t stop the Douchernaught that is Tom Cruise. So, who will Tom face in the Acting Regional Final?
(2) Kim Kardashian over (3) T-Pain
Two newcomers facing off in the Suckass Sixteen and Kim proved her sucking abilities by beating off two black men en route to the Regional Finals! Yes…that was a low blow. But she blows low. I KID, I KID! I actually have nothing against her but you all do or something. Let’s move on to the opposing bracket!
Asshat Region
(1) Britney Spears over (4) Tara Reid
So Tara Reid loses once again in the Suckass Sixteen! Britney is looking to make her first Douchebrawl final after a 2007 that would have actually made her a shoo in. However, she has to beat a veteran of the Douchebrawl world…
(3) Kevin Federline over (2) 50 Cent
And 50 Cent is once again denied greatness! For the second straight year he will NOT make the finals as he is defeated the man who is the only one to go to the finals two straight years! K-Fed had a slow 2007 but STILL defeated Fiddy in route to a faceoff with his ex-wife! It’s ON NOW! Now to the other end of the brackets!
Trollop Region
(1) Lindsay Lohan over (4) Akon
Lindsay continues her quest to be the first back-to-back Douchebrawl winner as she runs roughshod through newcomer Akon! As much as I DON’T like the guy he did put up a fight against the defending champ but in the end, Linsday sucked a little bit too much. So who will she face off against?
(3) Amy Winehouse over (2) George Clooney
The douchery of The Clooney is outdone by the outright asshatery of Amy Winehouse! I don’t care if she has Grammy’s. So does Fergie so they officially mean jack shit. The Clooney loses once again in Douchebrawl and once again to a newcomer. The Trollop region will have one hell of a Regional Final! So who will this winner face?
Musician Region
(1) Bono over (5) Heather Graham
So once again, Bono is one step away! He soundly defeated Heather Graham who was making her return from her Cinderella performance two years ago but she was no match for the uncrowned “Douche of the Universe.” Bono once again has a shot for the finals, but who will he face?
(2) Paris Hilton over (11) Bobby Petrino
Not really a shocker but Paris is back! She has defeated another first-timer in the Suckass Sixteen in Bobby Petrino. He put up a good fight but didn’t even get a vote after the first day so people are against Paris more than Bobby.
With all that said, the Regional Finals are set and the polls are up and ready! Let’s take a look at the final eight participants in Douchebrawl 2008!!
Action Regional Final
(1) Tom Cruise vs. (2) Kim Kardashian
Asshat Regional Final
(1) Britney Spears vs. (3) Kevin Federline
Trollop Region
(1) Lindsay Lohan vs. (3) Amy Winehouse
Musician Region
(1) Bono vs. (2) Paris Hilton
Go out and get to voting! The 500th Post Spectacular will be up this week at some point so stay tuned! Until then, VOTE OR DIE!!
Live, Laugh, Learn & Love.
Acting Region
(1) Tom Cruise over (12) New York (Tiffany Pollard)
Tom Cruise dominated the upstart New York in his Suckass Sixteen return. She got very far in her first year in the tournament but she couldn’t stop the Douchernaught that is Tom Cruise. So, who will Tom face in the Acting Regional Final?
(2) Kim Kardashian over (3) T-Pain
Two newcomers facing off in the Suckass Sixteen and Kim proved her sucking abilities by beating off two black men en route to the Regional Finals! Yes…that was a low blow. But she blows low. I KID, I KID! I actually have nothing against her but you all do or something. Let’s move on to the opposing bracket!
Asshat Region
(1) Britney Spears over (4) Tara Reid
So Tara Reid loses once again in the Suckass Sixteen! Britney is looking to make her first Douchebrawl final after a 2007 that would have actually made her a shoo in. However, she has to beat a veteran of the Douchebrawl world…
(3) Kevin Federline over (2) 50 Cent
And 50 Cent is once again denied greatness! For the second straight year he will NOT make the finals as he is defeated the man who is the only one to go to the finals two straight years! K-Fed had a slow 2007 but STILL defeated Fiddy in route to a faceoff with his ex-wife! It’s ON NOW! Now to the other end of the brackets!
Trollop Region
(1) Lindsay Lohan over (4) Akon
Lindsay continues her quest to be the first back-to-back Douchebrawl winner as she runs roughshod through newcomer Akon! As much as I DON’T like the guy he did put up a fight against the defending champ but in the end, Linsday sucked a little bit too much. So who will she face off against?
(3) Amy Winehouse over (2) George Clooney
The douchery of The Clooney is outdone by the outright asshatery of Amy Winehouse! I don’t care if she has Grammy’s. So does Fergie so they officially mean jack shit. The Clooney loses once again in Douchebrawl and once again to a newcomer. The Trollop region will have one hell of a Regional Final! So who will this winner face?
Musician Region
(1) Bono over (5) Heather Graham
So once again, Bono is one step away! He soundly defeated Heather Graham who was making her return from her Cinderella performance two years ago but she was no match for the uncrowned “Douche of the Universe.” Bono once again has a shot for the finals, but who will he face?
(2) Paris Hilton over (11) Bobby Petrino
Not really a shocker but Paris is back! She has defeated another first-timer in the Suckass Sixteen in Bobby Petrino. He put up a good fight but didn’t even get a vote after the first day so people are against Paris more than Bobby.
With all that said, the Regional Finals are set and the polls are up and ready! Let’s take a look at the final eight participants in Douchebrawl 2008!!
Action Regional Final
(1) Tom Cruise vs. (2) Kim Kardashian
Asshat Regional Final
(1) Britney Spears vs. (3) Kevin Federline
Trollop Region
(1) Lindsay Lohan vs. (3) Amy Winehouse
Musician Region
(1) Bono vs. (2) Paris Hilton
Go out and get to voting! The 500th Post Spectacular will be up this week at some point so stay tuned! Until then, VOTE OR DIE!!
Live, Laugh, Learn & Love.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Crappy Movie Sense....TINGLING!
First things first: "Horton Hears A Who" actually wasnt bad. Any movie with REO Speedwagon can’t be that bad. You fucking heard me. THE WAGON IS LOOSE! Secondly, I saw "The Incredible Hulk" teaser trailer last night during "America's Best Dance Crew" (Kaba Modern KILLED IT! Even though Yuri messed up and ended up crying. I'll console you, baby...) and um....
Anyone think this looks like "Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer?" Except....suckier? I mean how hard is it to make a movie where Hulk fucking smashes shit? I mean he gets mad, he smashes shit up, he calms down and he hitchhikes to the next town. ITS A FUCKING SIMPLE FORMULA THAT WORKED WITH LOU FERRIGNO! I mean if you can make it work with him you can make it work with any-damn-body! How can comic book movies be continually hit or miss when the formula is so easy to make it work? Batman did it, X-Men did it, Spiderman did it, Iron Man will do it and even Superman had the right idea until it collapsed under its own sense of self-superiority.
Aside from Harry Potter sequels and shitty PG-13 horror movies, comic book movies are the easiest form of media to create because they have a built in fan base which means that with a marginal amount of effort you can take a “meh” character and turn it into at LEAST a modest hit (see: Hellboy). I understand the bar was set high for comic book movies with “Batman Begins” and will honestly be set even HIGHER with "Iron Man" (which will have a more crossover appeal with mainstream movie goers even though Iron Man is nowhere near as popular as Spiderman because of the type of character Tony Stark is and bros love explosions. Trust me) and “The Dark Knight” but when you have a sure fire thing don’t try your best to fuck it up. Having a Hulk movie with a plot is like making LeBron James play soccer. It’s not what he does best and at the end of the day no one will want to see him do it.
HULK NO THINK! HULK SMASH!
Eh, what can one man do? I will be back up on Sunday but until then, stay up.
Anyone think this looks like "Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer?" Except....suckier? I mean how hard is it to make a movie where Hulk fucking smashes shit? I mean he gets mad, he smashes shit up, he calms down and he hitchhikes to the next town. ITS A FUCKING SIMPLE FORMULA THAT WORKED WITH LOU FERRIGNO! I mean if you can make it work with him you can make it work with any-damn-body! How can comic book movies be continually hit or miss when the formula is so easy to make it work? Batman did it, X-Men did it, Spiderman did it, Iron Man will do it and even Superman had the right idea until it collapsed under its own sense of self-superiority.
Aside from Harry Potter sequels and shitty PG-13 horror movies, comic book movies are the easiest form of media to create because they have a built in fan base which means that with a marginal amount of effort you can take a “meh” character and turn it into at LEAST a modest hit (see: Hellboy). I understand the bar was set high for comic book movies with “Batman Begins” and will honestly be set even HIGHER with "Iron Man" (which will have a more crossover appeal with mainstream movie goers even though Iron Man is nowhere near as popular as Spiderman because of the type of character Tony Stark is and bros love explosions. Trust me) and “The Dark Knight” but when you have a sure fire thing don’t try your best to fuck it up. Having a Hulk movie with a plot is like making LeBron James play soccer. It’s not what he does best and at the end of the day no one will want to see him do it.
HULK NO THINK! HULK SMASH!
Eh, what can one man do? I will be back up on Sunday but until then, stay up.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Something Tells Me I Am About To Be Pissed...
What is up, people! It is another Friday so you know what that means! It is time for the staple…
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!!
We start with the return of a legend!
20. L`Arc~en~Ciel – DRINK IT DOWN (New Entry)
Hyde and Company are back, baby! After two Top Ten videos (including the chart topper “SEVENTH HEAVEN”) The Arc has returned with a new single and video. Nowhere near as visual as their previous three from 2007…but its Hyde. And he is looking SUPERFINE. I’m straight, but I would bring him home. To perform this song, jerks. Where yo head at?
19. Alicia Keys – Like You’ll Never See Me Again (Last Week #17, One Week at #1)
It is time to say goodbye to the fine ass Alicia Keys as this looks to be her last week on the Countdown. It has been a very dominant 5 months for her, as she has been a fixture but it had to end sometime. I’m gonna miss my baby.
18. Kid Sister feat. Kanye West – Pro Nails (Last Week #18)
After jumping up two spots last week, Kid Sister holds pat at number 18. Not much about her album yet but that song “Switchboard” isn’t bad. It isn’t GOOD but it isn’t bad either.
17. Sowelu – Hikari (Last Week #14)
GIVE ME SOME MORE SOWELU!!! Preferably just standing around looking cute as all hell. Said it once and I will say it again: the Asian Mandy Moore. Which means I want some more of that.
16. The Roots feat Dice Raw & Peedi Crack – Get Busy (Last Week #19)
The Roots ALREADY have a new song out and the video for their new single with Patrick Stump from Fall Out Boy. Sounds….interesting. This video is well on the way to becoming a ringtone because this beat is rather as the kids say “bananas.”
15. NaNa – SHOW GIRL (Last Week #12, Two Weeks at #1)
NaNa continues to hang on after four months! This video is not going away mainly because I need my fix and I cant find any more work from her because….God hates me.
14. James Morrison – You Give Me Something (Last Week #15)
James Morrison makes his slow rise up the Countdown, moving up one spot this week. I am thoughalllt shocked by how few people know about this guy. He is the tits and a half!
13. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Amazing (Last Week #9)
After coming so close to the top, HAMC fall out of the Top Ten this week. You know, I felt kind of ripped off with the greatest hits album last year rather than a new one but I cant complain because old HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR rocks more than most stuff now.
12. Yui – Laugh Away (Last Week #16)
Man, 2008 is going to kick ass. I gots me some Yui f0r the first time in five months and I cannot be any happier. I am totally waiting for her album next month and SO SHOULD YOU! She is freaking awesome and….I think she’s hot. But I’m weird.
11. Foxxi MisQ – X.B.F. (Last Week #13)
Now aint a man alive going to argue that the members of Foxxi MisQ aint hot. If they do….they’s got problems. Take note ladies: if you cant make the dress work, give someone else the job. Because they are WORKING THOSE DRESSES OUT in this video! Tastes gooooooooooooooood.
10. UVERworld - Roots (Last Week #7)
For the first time ever it looks like UVERworld isn’t going to crack the Top Three! Even though their album is arguably the best of the year. That was a shock because I was not impressed with the initial singles from the album but the non-single tracks ROCK. Even “Endscape” has grown on me.
9. Hearts Grow - Kasanaru Kage (Last Week #10)
Hearts Grow slowly moves up another spot this week as they keep their upward trend going. You know, it’s nice to see just a normal video from a female band. Rather than self-imposed “booty butt cheeks.”
8. Nelly Furtado – In God’s Hands (Last Week #5)
Nelly Furtado falls three spots this week as her quest to top the chart once again seems to be over. I wonder how long she plans to milk this whole “Loose” album. She is trying to pull a Fergie and we all know how much I wish that man would come out of the closet.
7. Erykah Badu - Honey (Last Week #11, Biggest Mover)
Ms. Badu is in the Top 10! I actually haven’t been able to pick up her album yet but I plan to at some point next week. This video is one of the best I have seen in a while (Not by UGK and Outkast, of course) and I heard her album is one of the better ones of 2008. Pick it up, fools!
6. Yui – Namidairo (Last Week #8)
Looks like we got us some more Yui! Although I would prefer a more rocking song (It has pretty much been all ballad videos/songs since “My Generation”) I must admit this video has really grown on me. Can this video give her a third number one?
5. John Legend – Show Me (Last Week #3)
After falling short of the elusive fourth tenure at the top spot, John Legend falls two big spots this week. Did you see him on The Colbert Report last week? Priceless, the man is a true talent. Kind of makes you put R. Kelly’s pissing ass in perspective.
4. Mihimaru GT – Diverge (Last Week #6)
Look out now, but Mihimaru GT is eyeing the number one spot yet again! They move up into the top five this week and seem to be gaining some more momentum. With three singles already, I believe a new album can’t be far behind seeing as how I have thoroughly abuse their greatest hits folder on my iPod. And now….we are down to three!
3. Lupe Fiasco feat Kanye West, Pharrell & Thom Yorke – Us Placers (Last Week #2, Four Weeks at #1)
After a long month-long run at number one, CRS falls one more spot to number three. Kanye and Lupe BOTH have new video and I am really excited about Lupe’s new video because it looks to be like Talib Kweli’s “The Blast” while Kanye is releasing “Homecoming” in a few days actually. Hip hop is BACK!
2. RBD - Inalcanzable (Last Week #4)
YES! Dulce, Anahi and Maite are one step away from Countdown immortality! The leapfrog CRS to take over the runner up spot, their highest position ever. This is only their second time on the Countdown at all and even with a year between videos they still have the staying power to be one step from the top. But the champ remains the same…
1. Bennie K – Monochrome (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
Bennie K holds on for another week! I am totally looking forward to more Bennie K but until then this video and song reign supreme. Oh…and I really want me some Cico. Just all sexy like and whatnot. Yuki, you aint bad yo damn’self. Your combined hotness locks the top spot down for a second week. Congrats!
That is all for this week, peeps! Tune in next week to see if Bennie K can make it three weeks at number one! Or can RBD heat up the top spot and take it for the first time? Or will CRS pull a UGK/UVERworld and reclaim the throne? See you next Friday!
Chachi Out!
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!!
We start with the return of a legend!
20. L`Arc~en~Ciel – DRINK IT DOWN (New Entry)
Hyde and Company are back, baby! After two Top Ten videos (including the chart topper “SEVENTH HEAVEN”) The Arc has returned with a new single and video. Nowhere near as visual as their previous three from 2007…but its Hyde. And he is looking SUPERFINE. I’m straight, but I would bring him home. To perform this song, jerks. Where yo head at?
19. Alicia Keys – Like You’ll Never See Me Again (Last Week #17, One Week at #1)
It is time to say goodbye to the fine ass Alicia Keys as this looks to be her last week on the Countdown. It has been a very dominant 5 months for her, as she has been a fixture but it had to end sometime. I’m gonna miss my baby.
18. Kid Sister feat. Kanye West – Pro Nails (Last Week #18)
After jumping up two spots last week, Kid Sister holds pat at number 18. Not much about her album yet but that song “Switchboard” isn’t bad. It isn’t GOOD but it isn’t bad either.
17. Sowelu – Hikari (Last Week #14)
GIVE ME SOME MORE SOWELU!!! Preferably just standing around looking cute as all hell. Said it once and I will say it again: the Asian Mandy Moore. Which means I want some more of that.
16. The Roots feat Dice Raw & Peedi Crack – Get Busy (Last Week #19)
The Roots ALREADY have a new song out and the video for their new single with Patrick Stump from Fall Out Boy. Sounds….interesting. This video is well on the way to becoming a ringtone because this beat is rather as the kids say “bananas.”
15. NaNa – SHOW GIRL (Last Week #12, Two Weeks at #1)
NaNa continues to hang on after four months! This video is not going away mainly because I need my fix and I cant find any more work from her because….God hates me.
14. James Morrison – You Give Me Something (Last Week #15)
James Morrison makes his slow rise up the Countdown, moving up one spot this week. I am thoughalllt shocked by how few people know about this guy. He is the tits and a half!
13. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Amazing (Last Week #9)
After coming so close to the top, HAMC fall out of the Top Ten this week. You know, I felt kind of ripped off with the greatest hits album last year rather than a new one but I cant complain because old HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR rocks more than most stuff now.
12. Yui – Laugh Away (Last Week #16)
Man, 2008 is going to kick ass. I gots me some Yui f0r the first time in five months and I cannot be any happier. I am totally waiting for her album next month and SO SHOULD YOU! She is freaking awesome and….I think she’s hot. But I’m weird.
11. Foxxi MisQ – X.B.F. (Last Week #13)
Now aint a man alive going to argue that the members of Foxxi MisQ aint hot. If they do….they’s got problems. Take note ladies: if you cant make the dress work, give someone else the job. Because they are WORKING THOSE DRESSES OUT in this video! Tastes gooooooooooooooood.
10. UVERworld - Roots (Last Week #7)
For the first time ever it looks like UVERworld isn’t going to crack the Top Three! Even though their album is arguably the best of the year. That was a shock because I was not impressed with the initial singles from the album but the non-single tracks ROCK. Even “Endscape” has grown on me.
9. Hearts Grow - Kasanaru Kage (Last Week #10)
Hearts Grow slowly moves up another spot this week as they keep their upward trend going. You know, it’s nice to see just a normal video from a female band. Rather than self-imposed “booty butt cheeks.”
8. Nelly Furtado – In God’s Hands (Last Week #5)
Nelly Furtado falls three spots this week as her quest to top the chart once again seems to be over. I wonder how long she plans to milk this whole “Loose” album. She is trying to pull a Fergie and we all know how much I wish that man would come out of the closet.
7. Erykah Badu - Honey (Last Week #11, Biggest Mover)
Ms. Badu is in the Top 10! I actually haven’t been able to pick up her album yet but I plan to at some point next week. This video is one of the best I have seen in a while (Not by UGK and Outkast, of course) and I heard her album is one of the better ones of 2008. Pick it up, fools!
6. Yui – Namidairo (Last Week #8)
Looks like we got us some more Yui! Although I would prefer a more rocking song (It has pretty much been all ballad videos/songs since “My Generation”) I must admit this video has really grown on me. Can this video give her a third number one?
5. John Legend – Show Me (Last Week #3)
After falling short of the elusive fourth tenure at the top spot, John Legend falls two big spots this week. Did you see him on The Colbert Report last week? Priceless, the man is a true talent. Kind of makes you put R. Kelly’s pissing ass in perspective.
4. Mihimaru GT – Diverge (Last Week #6)
Look out now, but Mihimaru GT is eyeing the number one spot yet again! They move up into the top five this week and seem to be gaining some more momentum. With three singles already, I believe a new album can’t be far behind seeing as how I have thoroughly abuse their greatest hits folder on my iPod. And now….we are down to three!
3. Lupe Fiasco feat Kanye West, Pharrell & Thom Yorke – Us Placers (Last Week #2, Four Weeks at #1)
After a long month-long run at number one, CRS falls one more spot to number three. Kanye and Lupe BOTH have new video and I am really excited about Lupe’s new video because it looks to be like Talib Kweli’s “The Blast” while Kanye is releasing “Homecoming” in a few days actually. Hip hop is BACK!
2. RBD - Inalcanzable (Last Week #4)
YES! Dulce, Anahi and Maite are one step away from Countdown immortality! The leapfrog CRS to take over the runner up spot, their highest position ever. This is only their second time on the Countdown at all and even with a year between videos they still have the staying power to be one step from the top. But the champ remains the same…
1. Bennie K – Monochrome (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
Bennie K holds on for another week! I am totally looking forward to more Bennie K but until then this video and song reign supreme. Oh…and I really want me some Cico. Just all sexy like and whatnot. Yuki, you aint bad yo damn’self. Your combined hotness locks the top spot down for a second week. Congrats!
That is all for this week, peeps! Tune in next week to see if Bennie K can make it three weeks at number one! Or can RBD heat up the top spot and take it for the first time? Or will CRS pull a UGK/UVERworld and reclaim the throne? See you next Friday!
Chachi Out!
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Geraldine Ferraro Is NOT A RACIST. She Is A Fucktard.
What is up, people?! I am back on the scene with a pocket full of green! Or not, I aint ballin out of control like I should be. Which hurts me to my core and soul.
So as you know I usually keep the news out of my blog unless it is McCain, Obama, video game or anime related (A convoluted mix I will admit) but I really have to comment on this Elliot Spitzer thing. Everyone is all up in arms about this situation and with so many things that are more important (Rising gas prices, war in Iraq, America’s Best Dance Crew. Picked up for another season, bitches!) I find it hard to believe that this is what is going to cause Americans to Irritable Pussy Syndrome. I mean seriously; does this man wanting to stick his wang in the piehole of a $3,000 lady of the night going to really effect you in the long run? I am so sick and tired of this country and its fake morality bullshit. This outrage and shock is asinine and really just a whole bunch of people thinking that they are more righteous that they really are. The only person screwed over in this whole ordeal would be his wife and I really couldn’t care about how she feels because women don’t have souls anyway. If women had souls, would that women even have met with the man in the first place? NO. Now you can say “What about Elliot? Isn’t it all his fault?” to which I would respond what in the fuck does “E.T.” have to do with this shit? Oh yeah….long finger. ZING! My innuendo is priceless.
Every time I watch the news and hear people yelling “robble, robble, robble!” about someone that made a dumb ass judgment call I ask myself something:
“Self, have you ever made a mistake?”
The answer to that is YES. I make mistakes all the fucking time. It is human nature to make mistakes, it is how we find out what works and what doesn’t. Now if this was like the THIRD time he got caught with his lovestick in full on overdrive (Innuendo, Err) with a well paid hooker THEN we could say he and his asshatery need to get the hell out of Dodge…or New York City in this case. If we got rid of every person though out time that made a mistake first time out, look at who we would not have as icons today?
• Brett Farve (Dude almost was ran out of the league for being a fuck-up)
• Tupac Shakur (Greatest rapper ever was a habitual line stepper)
• Cher (Didn’t she marry a Doobie Brother or some shit?)
• Kratos (AREEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!! Killed his family and now has the most anticipated game since “Hello Kitty’s Happy Time Brawl & Bash". Not bad)
• Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups (Originally they were Reese’s Jelly Cups. Not as good)
• Jesus (He got caught stealing. When he was five. JANE’S ADDICTION, BITCH!)
• The Fugees “The Score” (Their first album was ASS AND A HALF)
• Jews (I mean, if they knew Jesus was going to be the next Prince I don’t think they would have traded him for a criminal)
• Tootsie Roll (The Butterfly was old)
Now personally I have no stock in this douchery. I don’t live and/or vote in New York and I don’t care how he fucked over his wife because that is THEIR fight to have and not OUR place to judge. At the end of they day they are adults and will handle this situation accordingly. If every person that had sexual relations with someone that isn’t their wife was fired or forced to resign we would have been without a Clinton and THANKFULLY without the shitbrick Hillary because she wouldn’t have the sympathy factor of “Oh, her husband humiliated her in front of the world!” that every woman seems to think is a valid reason for voting for the dumbass. You know what? She stayed so all of you can shut the fuck up. Besides, Obama is married to a BLACK WOMAN he can sure as hell run this country. He didn’t even leave her for a White girl which I totally would have done! The White woman has a big heart. Hell, Nelson Mandela left a black woman!
If he can stand being married to a Black woman he can definitely be President; it’s a lot less work and a hell of a lot less irritating (KOBE!). Aaahhhh, anyway back to the point and away from alienating my non-existant Black female demographic (With “Girlfriends” being cancelled, I guess they may come here. If so...I'm sorry baby. I can change!). Everyone out there should really just say “Damn, that shit is whack” and then turn the channel to something more important. Like Alf the Animated Series:
Man….this show SUCKED! Anyone aside from me remember this song? Doesn’t matter. On another note, I am really….REALLY getting sick and tired of people calling Geraldine Ferrero a racist. Her comments WERE NOT RACIST. Here is exactly what she said:
"If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position. And if he was a woman, he would not be in this position. He happens to be very lucky to be who he is. And the country is caught up in the concept."
Now read that again. It is NOT a racist statement. It is a STUPID statement based on someone that in my opinion has a little bit of sour grapes. People seem to forget one big thing about Obama. He is half-White. He is a rather dark half-White but he is one of them mulattos nonetheless. So when people say that he is only in the position he is in because he is “Black” is kind of a fucking moron and if you are only voting for him because he is “Black” then you are an even BIGGER fucking moron. If Obama was a woman, she would be running against Hillary so the point would be moot because she would be a half-Black woman and Geraldine would have to say the same thing but probably wouldn’t. Which is okay, her stance is her own opinion and people need to accept and respect it as that. Now if Obama was a White (WHICH HE HALF-WAY IS!) male then he would be KILLING Hillary right now because he is a man and since the first President, we have been proving that only the infinite wisdom of the White man can lead this country:
You think Hillary could have a video like that? No. Could Obama? You bet Mandy Moore’s sweet, sweet ass he could. The fact is that she said that because she is running under the age old adage that White people have “White guilt” and are voting for Obama because of the past indiscretions of the ever-loving Whitey. When she says “caught up in the concept of it” I am unsure of what else she could actually mean aside from either that previous statement or people are rallying behind a young MIXED Presidential candidate and embracing his message of change and hope of an America with allies, a rebuilt economy and the end of the “same ol’ politics” that has plagued us for oh….about 27 years or so. Yeah….we don’t need no race mixing in our WHITE HOUSE. What can I say; she ran with MONDALE who is a retard and a half from what I remember (which admittedly isn’t much). I guess Geraldine thinks that much like sadness, change is for poor people.
So I am sure you have all seen the article about how 1 in 4 teenage females (14-19 I believe) have contracted an STD. Now I am going to go out on a limb and wager something very controversial. Women have been bitching and moaning about why teenage boys weren’t tested in this same study. Well, there is a very good reason for that IMHO and it may shock you. Here is goes: America isn’t ready to accept the fact that I would say of the 3 million girls that have these STD’s that about 30-35% of them we given these diseases by someone over the age of 18 and America isn’t ready for that moral dilemma or slap in the face. I mean Griff and I had this conversation earlier about GI’s hanging around our high school and pretty much trying to pick up the F2T’s. So off the BAT we are in a moral dilemma and as much as I am not a fan of the decisions women make (Like…ever?) I really feel like this is a disturbing trend that cannot COMPLETELY be blamed on them. It is a damn shame about the STD’s at such a young age because I don’t care when you are having sex (Honestly the thought of being with a woman is awkward and icky. COOTIES!!!) but seriously. Is this that much of a shock? I mean when I was in high school I would have to say the same amount of girls were having sex, mostly with either GI’s (Pattern, anyone?) or the same dudes which….ended up with an STD. Bad news travels fast in high school. So nothing has really even changed. Teenagers for the most part can’t even figure out syntax/grammar or even write a paper that doesn’t use “WTF” and “LAWL” (present company excluded…pretty much just Beth) let alone be trusted to maintain their hormones or know how to protect themselves during sex. I mean, there is a REASON why special kids wear helmets: to protect themselves…from themselves. Think about it.
In the end, what teenagers do effects us because at some point we may have to vote one of these Soulja Boy dancing, IM speak using, Bratz watching, collar popping STD ridden fucktards and needless to say I do NOT THINK I AM READY FOR THAT SHIT.
Well, I am out for now. I will try to be up tomorrow as Friday I am going to try to head up to Denver for the Wasabicon. If not Friday then definitely on Saturday. Until then, stay up peeps. And quit getting your panties in a bunch from what I say, you cockmongers.
Live, Laugh, Learn and Love.
So as you know I usually keep the news out of my blog unless it is McCain, Obama, video game or anime related (A convoluted mix I will admit) but I really have to comment on this Elliot Spitzer thing. Everyone is all up in arms about this situation and with so many things that are more important (Rising gas prices, war in Iraq, America’s Best Dance Crew. Picked up for another season, bitches!) I find it hard to believe that this is what is going to cause Americans to Irritable Pussy Syndrome. I mean seriously; does this man wanting to stick his wang in the piehole of a $3,000 lady of the night going to really effect you in the long run? I am so sick and tired of this country and its fake morality bullshit. This outrage and shock is asinine and really just a whole bunch of people thinking that they are more righteous that they really are. The only person screwed over in this whole ordeal would be his wife and I really couldn’t care about how she feels because women don’t have souls anyway. If women had souls, would that women even have met with the man in the first place? NO. Now you can say “What about Elliot? Isn’t it all his fault?” to which I would respond what in the fuck does “E.T.” have to do with this shit? Oh yeah….long finger. ZING! My innuendo is priceless.
Every time I watch the news and hear people yelling “robble, robble, robble!” about someone that made a dumb ass judgment call I ask myself something:
“Self, have you ever made a mistake?”
The answer to that is YES. I make mistakes all the fucking time. It is human nature to make mistakes, it is how we find out what works and what doesn’t. Now if this was like the THIRD time he got caught with his lovestick in full on overdrive (Innuendo, Err) with a well paid hooker THEN we could say he and his asshatery need to get the hell out of Dodge…or New York City in this case. If we got rid of every person though out time that made a mistake first time out, look at who we would not have as icons today?
• Brett Farve (Dude almost was ran out of the league for being a fuck-up)
• Tupac Shakur (Greatest rapper ever was a habitual line stepper)
• Cher (Didn’t she marry a Doobie Brother or some shit?)
• Kratos (AREEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!! Killed his family and now has the most anticipated game since “Hello Kitty’s Happy Time Brawl & Bash". Not bad)
• Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups (Originally they were Reese’s Jelly Cups. Not as good)
• Jesus (He got caught stealing. When he was five. JANE’S ADDICTION, BITCH!)
• The Fugees “The Score” (Their first album was ASS AND A HALF)
• Jews (I mean, if they knew Jesus was going to be the next Prince I don’t think they would have traded him for a criminal)
• Tootsie Roll (The Butterfly was old)
Now personally I have no stock in this douchery. I don’t live and/or vote in New York and I don’t care how he fucked over his wife because that is THEIR fight to have and not OUR place to judge. At the end of they day they are adults and will handle this situation accordingly. If every person that had sexual relations with someone that isn’t their wife was fired or forced to resign we would have been without a Clinton and THANKFULLY without the shitbrick Hillary because she wouldn’t have the sympathy factor of “Oh, her husband humiliated her in front of the world!” that every woman seems to think is a valid reason for voting for the dumbass. You know what? She stayed so all of you can shut the fuck up. Besides, Obama is married to a BLACK WOMAN he can sure as hell run this country. He didn’t even leave her for a White girl which I totally would have done! The White woman has a big heart. Hell, Nelson Mandela left a black woman!
If he can stand being married to a Black woman he can definitely be President; it’s a lot less work and a hell of a lot less irritating (KOBE!). Aaahhhh, anyway back to the point and away from alienating my non-existant Black female demographic (With “Girlfriends” being cancelled, I guess they may come here. If so...I'm sorry baby. I can change!). Everyone out there should really just say “Damn, that shit is whack” and then turn the channel to something more important. Like Alf the Animated Series:
Man….this show SUCKED! Anyone aside from me remember this song? Doesn’t matter. On another note, I am really….REALLY getting sick and tired of people calling Geraldine Ferrero a racist. Her comments WERE NOT RACIST. Here is exactly what she said:
"If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position. And if he was a woman, he would not be in this position. He happens to be very lucky to be who he is. And the country is caught up in the concept."
Now read that again. It is NOT a racist statement. It is a STUPID statement based on someone that in my opinion has a little bit of sour grapes. People seem to forget one big thing about Obama. He is half-White. He is a rather dark half-White but he is one of them mulattos nonetheless. So when people say that he is only in the position he is in because he is “Black” is kind of a fucking moron and if you are only voting for him because he is “Black” then you are an even BIGGER fucking moron. If Obama was a woman, she would be running against Hillary so the point would be moot because she would be a half-Black woman and Geraldine would have to say the same thing but probably wouldn’t. Which is okay, her stance is her own opinion and people need to accept and respect it as that. Now if Obama was a White (WHICH HE HALF-WAY IS!) male then he would be KILLING Hillary right now because he is a man and since the first President, we have been proving that only the infinite wisdom of the White man can lead this country:
You think Hillary could have a video like that? No. Could Obama? You bet Mandy Moore’s sweet, sweet ass he could. The fact is that she said that because she is running under the age old adage that White people have “White guilt” and are voting for Obama because of the past indiscretions of the ever-loving Whitey. When she says “caught up in the concept of it” I am unsure of what else she could actually mean aside from either that previous statement or people are rallying behind a young MIXED Presidential candidate and embracing his message of change and hope of an America with allies, a rebuilt economy and the end of the “same ol’ politics” that has plagued us for oh….about 27 years or so. Yeah….we don’t need no race mixing in our WHITE HOUSE. What can I say; she ran with MONDALE who is a retard and a half from what I remember (which admittedly isn’t much). I guess Geraldine thinks that much like sadness, change is for poor people.
So I am sure you have all seen the article about how 1 in 4 teenage females (14-19 I believe) have contracted an STD. Now I am going to go out on a limb and wager something very controversial. Women have been bitching and moaning about why teenage boys weren’t tested in this same study. Well, there is a very good reason for that IMHO and it may shock you. Here is goes: America isn’t ready to accept the fact that I would say of the 3 million girls that have these STD’s that about 30-35% of them we given these diseases by someone over the age of 18 and America isn’t ready for that moral dilemma or slap in the face. I mean Griff and I had this conversation earlier about GI’s hanging around our high school and pretty much trying to pick up the F2T’s. So off the BAT we are in a moral dilemma and as much as I am not a fan of the decisions women make (Like…ever?) I really feel like this is a disturbing trend that cannot COMPLETELY be blamed on them. It is a damn shame about the STD’s at such a young age because I don’t care when you are having sex (Honestly the thought of being with a woman is awkward and icky. COOTIES!!!) but seriously. Is this that much of a shock? I mean when I was in high school I would have to say the same amount of girls were having sex, mostly with either GI’s (Pattern, anyone?) or the same dudes which….ended up with an STD. Bad news travels fast in high school. So nothing has really even changed. Teenagers for the most part can’t even figure out syntax/grammar or even write a paper that doesn’t use “WTF” and “LAWL” (present company excluded…pretty much just Beth) let alone be trusted to maintain their hormones or know how to protect themselves during sex. I mean, there is a REASON why special kids wear helmets: to protect themselves…from themselves. Think about it.
In the end, what teenagers do effects us because at some point we may have to vote one of these Soulja Boy dancing, IM speak using, Bratz watching, collar popping STD ridden fucktards and needless to say I do NOT THINK I AM READY FOR THAT SHIT.
Well, I am out for now. I will try to be up tomorrow as Friday I am going to try to head up to Denver for the Wasabicon. If not Friday then definitely on Saturday. Until then, stay up peeps. And quit getting your panties in a bunch from what I say, you cockmongers.
Live, Laugh, Learn and Love.
Monday, March 10, 2008
When Keeping It Real Gets Fucking Delusional...
What is up, peeps! It is about that time for me to bring back an old staple from the Passion of Chachi days. Sometimes I like to kicks it old school. Word. It’s time for…
LEARNING WITH MASTER CHIEF CAPTAIN CHACHI!!
Today’s Lesson: Getting Real
Okay, the last few months (I will say…ten or so) have been a total gut check for me. For a while I thought the best of people and that maybe people were good at heart and just had lapses of douchery. Well, I got proven time and again that people for the most part are:
1. Out for themselves.
2. Doomed to repeat the same fuck-ups.
3. Are liars, cheaters or all around fuckers.
Now I have been about an apathy kick for about a month now and it has worked for me a bit. I think people need to understand something about my current state of mind and emotional being. You see, there has been a rash of people using words out of context in the same way as “inconceivable” from “The Princess Bride” and I don’t think they know what the words they are trying to use REALLY mean. Remember when I went off about being called “anti-social” because the person didn’t obviously had no idea what the word meant (BTW, after investigation she DIDN’T know what it meant so I was validated)? I am running into that a lot as of late and it is time for a bit of dictionary work.
The word “idealistic” has been tossed out by a few friends of mine (Not Zach unless he’s drunk but that’s why we boys. I only say “I respect women’s views” when I’m drunk so we are even) and I really….really think that when you use the word out of context that it can be used as a crutch. Much like “female empowerment” or “civil rights” or other words that mean jack shit to me. Understand a few things here:
An IDEALISTIC view is a view of high principal, almost to the point of (IMHO) delusion. Quite simply it is someone that doesn’t acknowledge what it is and relishes in what it could or in their mind SHOULD be. God….I just quoted Diddy. BALLIN! There is nothing wrong with idealism in any way, shape or form. Having an idealistic view on life helps you figure out what you want out of your life and gives you a vision (sometimes) of how to achieve it. However, name ONE idealist that really was able to get their utopia-like ideas to come to reality. Only one: Ricky Schroder on “Silver Spoons”
He had a fucking train in his house! Now THAT’S LIVING! The simple fact is that you can STRIVE to live an ideal life, but you have to live in reality. The more you push away reality and attempt to mold the real world into your idealistic way of viewing how things should be….the more you end up like Hitler. Do you WANT to be like Hitler? Of course not, dumbass!
Don’t get it twisted, I am not saying that people should never dream and want their life to be perfect. However, you have to realize you cannot always fit the square peg that you want to be your life in realities round hole. Forcing it never works. Think about it, if you DO force it in and it DOES fit the truth is that it won’t fit at all because it doesn’t REALLY fit as much as you are making yourself believe it is. Quite simply if you have to mold your peg to fit someone else’s hole then maybe it isn’t a fit after all? The peg and the hole should fit just right with maybe a little struggle around the edges that can easily be worked out. Just a thought. In the end, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be an idealist but at the end of the day you cannot live in your perceived reality when you live in one that is encompassing of all people. Or is there no reality and we are just in a state of influx being? Or is reality what we perceive it to be and we can alter it with simple belief? Did I just blow your mind, man?! I hope not because that was just jibber jabber.
Yeah, I had to get that out. A redux on my chivalry rant from 2007 for tomorrow as I don’t think I am going to update. Definitly on Wednesday, though. Until then, I am bringing back a little something…
Live, Laugh, Learn and Love. (Gotta kick it old school sometimes)
LEARNING WITH MASTER CHIEF CAPTAIN CHACHI!!
Today’s Lesson: Getting Real
Okay, the last few months (I will say…ten or so) have been a total gut check for me. For a while I thought the best of people and that maybe people were good at heart and just had lapses of douchery. Well, I got proven time and again that people for the most part are:
1. Out for themselves.
2. Doomed to repeat the same fuck-ups.
3. Are liars, cheaters or all around fuckers.
Now I have been about an apathy kick for about a month now and it has worked for me a bit. I think people need to understand something about my current state of mind and emotional being. You see, there has been a rash of people using words out of context in the same way as “inconceivable” from “The Princess Bride” and I don’t think they know what the words they are trying to use REALLY mean. Remember when I went off about being called “anti-social” because the person didn’t obviously had no idea what the word meant (BTW, after investigation she DIDN’T know what it meant so I was validated)? I am running into that a lot as of late and it is time for a bit of dictionary work.
The word “idealistic” has been tossed out by a few friends of mine (Not Zach unless he’s drunk but that’s why we boys. I only say “I respect women’s views” when I’m drunk so we are even) and I really….really think that when you use the word out of context that it can be used as a crutch. Much like “female empowerment” or “civil rights” or other words that mean jack shit to me. Understand a few things here:
An IDEALISTIC view is a view of high principal, almost to the point of (IMHO) delusion. Quite simply it is someone that doesn’t acknowledge what it is and relishes in what it could or in their mind SHOULD be. God….I just quoted Diddy. BALLIN! There is nothing wrong with idealism in any way, shape or form. Having an idealistic view on life helps you figure out what you want out of your life and gives you a vision (sometimes) of how to achieve it. However, name ONE idealist that really was able to get their utopia-like ideas to come to reality. Only one: Ricky Schroder on “Silver Spoons”
He had a fucking train in his house! Now THAT’S LIVING! The simple fact is that you can STRIVE to live an ideal life, but you have to live in reality. The more you push away reality and attempt to mold the real world into your idealistic way of viewing how things should be….the more you end up like Hitler. Do you WANT to be like Hitler? Of course not, dumbass!
Don’t get it twisted, I am not saying that people should never dream and want their life to be perfect. However, you have to realize you cannot always fit the square peg that you want to be your life in realities round hole. Forcing it never works. Think about it, if you DO force it in and it DOES fit the truth is that it won’t fit at all because it doesn’t REALLY fit as much as you are making yourself believe it is. Quite simply if you have to mold your peg to fit someone else’s hole then maybe it isn’t a fit after all? The peg and the hole should fit just right with maybe a little struggle around the edges that can easily be worked out. Just a thought. In the end, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be an idealist but at the end of the day you cannot live in your perceived reality when you live in one that is encompassing of all people. Or is there no reality and we are just in a state of influx being? Or is reality what we perceive it to be and we can alter it with simple belief? Did I just blow your mind, man?! I hope not because that was just jibber jabber.
Yeah, I had to get that out. A redux on my chivalry rant from 2007 for tomorrow as I don’t think I am going to update. Definitly on Wednesday, though. Until then, I am bringing back a little something…
Live, Laugh, Learn and Love. (Gotta kick it old school sometimes)
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Things Just Got Sucky...
What is up! The Second Round of Douchebrawl 2008 has ended and there are a few upsets! We are down to the final sixteen participants, people. Time to see who is left!
Musician Region
In the Musician Region, we have:
(1) Bono
Vs.
(5) Heather Graham
Bono has made it to the Regional Finals for the last two years but he faces his toughest challenge yet against Heather Graham. Let’s not forget, she was leading Tom Cruise in 2006 before a late surge gave Tom the Championship running away. Can she pull of another upset? In the bottom half of the bracket, we have another high powered match-up.
(11) Bobby Petrino
Vs.
(2) Paris Hilton
Paris once again looks to finally get over the hump and make it into the finals! This year she faces a newcomer that is pretty much hated in the states of Georgia and Kentucky in Bobby Petrino. Can his douchery topple Paris? We will have to see! Next we have the…
Trollop Region
In the Trollop region, we have:
(1) Lindsay Lohan
Vs.
(4) Akon
Look who is back! Lindsay Lohan is looking to go back to back with Douchebrawl Championships but she has to run through the annoying African. Akon is back this year and looks to take it to the reigning champ. Can he take the title (And his trifling ass) back to Africa? Next we have another great matchup.
(3) Amy Winehouse
Vs.
(2) George Clooney
Okay….this is the best matchup of the Suckass Sixteen! We have the smug-fucktarditude of Clooney and the coked-up asshatery of Amy Winehouse. How can you pick just one! The winner of these two brackets will face off, but let’s go to the final two brackets!
Acting Region
Now we go to the favorite!
(1) Tom Cruise
Vs.
(12) New York
In what can only be called a shocker, New York makes it out of the Second Round! Great job by the peeps for voting, but too bad she has to face the original douche in Tom Cruise! He looks to make it back to the Finals and he looks like he may run through New York to do it!
(3) T-Pain
Vs.
(2) Kim Kardashian
Ooooooohhhhhh, it’s getting GOOD! I actually think Kim Kardashian is quite the bangin but in the famous words of BeBe….WHAT DOES SHE DO?! We know what T-Pain does; he sucks big black balls. Hey, so does Kim! These two should date! Although mad props to T-Pain for wearing a Moonanite bling-blong. Now to the last bracket!
Asshat Region
(1) Britney Spears
Vs.
(4) Tara Reid
Damn, this is a bad ass Douchebrawl! Britney takes on Tara in what I believe is a rematch of Douchebrawl 2006. Can Britney FINALLY make it to the finals or will Tara continue on after finally getting out of the Second Round? Now for the final matchup.
(3) Kevin Federline
Vs.
(2) 50 Cent
We have a rematch of the 2006 Regional Finals of the Musician Region of Douchebrawl! That time, K-Fed took out Fiddy in route to a shocking loss to Heather Graham. Can Curtis return the favor? It’s up to you!
The brackets are set, the polls are up and it is up to you to cast your votes! The polls will close on 10PM EST on next Sunday so be sure to make your pick! Until then, the power is yours! Too bad I don’t have the power at all guess it’s time to move on:
각 경련의 뒤에 실연은 이다.
Diddy Out.
Musician Region
In the Musician Region, we have:
(1) Bono
Vs.
(5) Heather Graham
Bono has made it to the Regional Finals for the last two years but he faces his toughest challenge yet against Heather Graham. Let’s not forget, she was leading Tom Cruise in 2006 before a late surge gave Tom the Championship running away. Can she pull of another upset? In the bottom half of the bracket, we have another high powered match-up.
(11) Bobby Petrino
Vs.
(2) Paris Hilton
Paris once again looks to finally get over the hump and make it into the finals! This year she faces a newcomer that is pretty much hated in the states of Georgia and Kentucky in Bobby Petrino. Can his douchery topple Paris? We will have to see! Next we have the…
Trollop Region
In the Trollop region, we have:
(1) Lindsay Lohan
Vs.
(4) Akon
Look who is back! Lindsay Lohan is looking to go back to back with Douchebrawl Championships but she has to run through the annoying African. Akon is back this year and looks to take it to the reigning champ. Can he take the title (And his trifling ass) back to Africa? Next we have another great matchup.
(3) Amy Winehouse
Vs.
(2) George Clooney
Okay….this is the best matchup of the Suckass Sixteen! We have the smug-fucktarditude of Clooney and the coked-up asshatery of Amy Winehouse. How can you pick just one! The winner of these two brackets will face off, but let’s go to the final two brackets!
Acting Region
Now we go to the favorite!
(1) Tom Cruise
Vs.
(12) New York
In what can only be called a shocker, New York makes it out of the Second Round! Great job by the peeps for voting, but too bad she has to face the original douche in Tom Cruise! He looks to make it back to the Finals and he looks like he may run through New York to do it!
(3) T-Pain
Vs.
(2) Kim Kardashian
Ooooooohhhhhh, it’s getting GOOD! I actually think Kim Kardashian is quite the bangin but in the famous words of BeBe….WHAT DOES SHE DO?! We know what T-Pain does; he sucks big black balls. Hey, so does Kim! These two should date! Although mad props to T-Pain for wearing a Moonanite bling-blong. Now to the last bracket!
Asshat Region
(1) Britney Spears
Vs.
(4) Tara Reid
Damn, this is a bad ass Douchebrawl! Britney takes on Tara in what I believe is a rematch of Douchebrawl 2006. Can Britney FINALLY make it to the finals or will Tara continue on after finally getting out of the Second Round? Now for the final matchup.
(3) Kevin Federline
Vs.
(2) 50 Cent
We have a rematch of the 2006 Regional Finals of the Musician Region of Douchebrawl! That time, K-Fed took out Fiddy in route to a shocking loss to Heather Graham. Can Curtis return the favor? It’s up to you!
The brackets are set, the polls are up and it is up to you to cast your votes! The polls will close on 10PM EST on next Sunday so be sure to make your pick! Until then, the power is yours! Too bad I don’t have the power at all guess it’s time to move on:
각 경련의 뒤에 실연은 이다.
Diddy Out.
The Boise Are Back.
What is up peeps?! I am back on a rather dull Sunday to recap an….interesting week. As most of you know, I had to take a four day trip to Boise for work and needless to say I was a tad bit shocked with what I found. Some good, some bad.
Pros: Alcohol Is Cheap.
And I mean REAL CHEAP. My bill for the THREE nights there was the exact same is it was for the Friday night before I left at PF Chang’s. THREE KNIGHTS OF HEAVY ASS DRINKING COST LESS THAN ONE NIGHT IN THIS HELL HOLE. That is fucking stupid. With more people to acquire revenue from, you would figure that the cost of alcohol here would be cheaper since they charge a cover to boot. That is just irritating. I have said it before and I will say it again: The only think that keeps me from being an alcoholic is the cost.
Cons: Wow….I REALLY Don’t Like Lynard Skynard.
FUCK LYNARD SKYNARD! FUCK THEM! Seriously, they fucking suck and White people that love them only love their cousins more. I understand that redneck bars have their place (Just not in America because you fucktards lost the war) and quite simply I don’t belong there. However…yelling “hee-haw” doesn’t make anything better.
Pros: IT’S RAINING MEN!
So on the first night I was there, some co-workers and I partook in the nightlife that was Boise. After some rather interesting developments (Waking up everyone from Boise to Idaho Falls with our yelling, peeing in a bush, peeing on a building, hitting on lesbians) we decided to end our night at a bar/club called “The Balcony.” After going in and scoping we thought it would be a nice place had it not been a Tuesday at about midnight. Then…we realized something. This bar was full of dudes. Then, to top it all off, the bartender called me “sexy.” Now, I know that Asians dig me and all but that was just weird. Because he looked like that dude from MadTV except with muscles:
Nice guy and all but I wasn’t ready for that. However, I went back on Wednesday night when the group and I separated and it wasn’t all that bad! A whole lot of Cher (Which I thought was a stereotype but here I stand corrected) and guys dancing a little too close but aside from that it was hella fun. Felt bad for taking the drinks they bought me, though. Also, it seems that men think cologne smells nice while women think it is pretentious. Who knew?
Cons: Um….Isn’t This Widefield?
So while the majority of my time was spent downtown Boise, there were times we had to bite the bullet and actually train. And that drive to BFE Idaho just made me think…is this Highway 87? Literally, it was like going to that big ass rocking chair before you get to Fountain. Also, the town literally looks like someone took the CSP, cut the mountains down a third, took away 90% of the black people and 100% of the Mexicans (They were THERE I am sure but I didn’t see nary a one. Even the COOKS AND LABORORS were white!) and put it in an even worse state. I was also in a small section of the city but still.
Pros: Bikini Bull Riding
If I have to explain why that is awesome….then there is something wrong with you. Not only that, the bartenders wore chaps and panties. I mean, that is kind of a recipe for business. Although their bartending skills left a lot to be desired and they boobs were faker than their personalities (I mean seriously, bartenders now are just strippers that watched “Cocktail” three times. Saaaaaaad) but overall….dude BIKINI BULL RIDING! I’m all for respecting women (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You know, I’m alright!) but man, that is good stuff.
Overall, Boise wasn’t great. It was a nice breath of fresh air from Colorado Springs but at the end of the day its luster would wear off. There really isn’t much to the area and it seems a little bit too sleepy for my tastes. Despite that, I saw two police officers the whole trip and didn’t see a single homeless person or bro the whole time. Which by default makes it the greatest city ever. It is a great place to live as you can fly to Seattle (or even drive for a three day weekend) and it’s out of the way from the hustle abd bustle of city life. However, to visit means you have no real business there EXCEPT business and it wears thin after a few days. In all serious, it wasn’t bad I just couldn’t live there unless I was TOTALLY ballin and wanted to live somewhere that looked like the city in Napoleon Dynamite:
I couldn’t find the Rex-Kwon-Do Dojo, BTW. Overall, it’s like they said in “Suburban Commando”. It’s a nice place to live, but I wouldn’t want to visit. Yes, I just gave a “Suburban Commando” reference.
So that is all for now. The Second Round of Douchebrawl will end at 8pm MST tonight and the results will be up shortly afterward. Also, my next post will be based off of the summer movie blockbusters seeing as how my raging orgasm last night at “10,000 BC” during the “Iron Man” trailer woke the ghost of Captain America. Until then, I am going to run the streets for a bit. Peace out, peeps.
Diddy Out.
Pros: Alcohol Is Cheap.
And I mean REAL CHEAP. My bill for the THREE nights there was the exact same is it was for the Friday night before I left at PF Chang’s. THREE KNIGHTS OF HEAVY ASS DRINKING COST LESS THAN ONE NIGHT IN THIS HELL HOLE. That is fucking stupid. With more people to acquire revenue from, you would figure that the cost of alcohol here would be cheaper since they charge a cover to boot. That is just irritating. I have said it before and I will say it again: The only think that keeps me from being an alcoholic is the cost.
Cons: Wow….I REALLY Don’t Like Lynard Skynard.
FUCK LYNARD SKYNARD! FUCK THEM! Seriously, they fucking suck and White people that love them only love their cousins more. I understand that redneck bars have their place (Just not in America because you fucktards lost the war) and quite simply I don’t belong there. However…yelling “hee-haw” doesn’t make anything better.
Pros: IT’S RAINING MEN!
So on the first night I was there, some co-workers and I partook in the nightlife that was Boise. After some rather interesting developments (Waking up everyone from Boise to Idaho Falls with our yelling, peeing in a bush, peeing on a building, hitting on lesbians) we decided to end our night at a bar/club called “The Balcony.” After going in and scoping we thought it would be a nice place had it not been a Tuesday at about midnight. Then…we realized something. This bar was full of dudes. Then, to top it all off, the bartender called me “sexy.” Now, I know that Asians dig me and all but that was just weird. Because he looked like that dude from MadTV except with muscles:
Nice guy and all but I wasn’t ready for that. However, I went back on Wednesday night when the group and I separated and it wasn’t all that bad! A whole lot of Cher (Which I thought was a stereotype but here I stand corrected) and guys dancing a little too close but aside from that it was hella fun. Felt bad for taking the drinks they bought me, though. Also, it seems that men think cologne smells nice while women think it is pretentious. Who knew?
Cons: Um….Isn’t This Widefield?
So while the majority of my time was spent downtown Boise, there were times we had to bite the bullet and actually train. And that drive to BFE Idaho just made me think…is this Highway 87? Literally, it was like going to that big ass rocking chair before you get to Fountain. Also, the town literally looks like someone took the CSP, cut the mountains down a third, took away 90% of the black people and 100% of the Mexicans (They were THERE I am sure but I didn’t see nary a one. Even the COOKS AND LABORORS were white!) and put it in an even worse state. I was also in a small section of the city but still.
Pros: Bikini Bull Riding
If I have to explain why that is awesome….then there is something wrong with you. Not only that, the bartenders wore chaps and panties. I mean, that is kind of a recipe for business. Although their bartending skills left a lot to be desired and they boobs were faker than their personalities (I mean seriously, bartenders now are just strippers that watched “Cocktail” three times. Saaaaaaad) but overall….dude BIKINI BULL RIDING! I’m all for respecting women (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You know, I’m alright!) but man, that is good stuff.
Overall, Boise wasn’t great. It was a nice breath of fresh air from Colorado Springs but at the end of the day its luster would wear off. There really isn’t much to the area and it seems a little bit too sleepy for my tastes. Despite that, I saw two police officers the whole trip and didn’t see a single homeless person or bro the whole time. Which by default makes it the greatest city ever. It is a great place to live as you can fly to Seattle (or even drive for a three day weekend) and it’s out of the way from the hustle abd bustle of city life. However, to visit means you have no real business there EXCEPT business and it wears thin after a few days. In all serious, it wasn’t bad I just couldn’t live there unless I was TOTALLY ballin and wanted to live somewhere that looked like the city in Napoleon Dynamite:
I couldn’t find the Rex-Kwon-Do Dojo, BTW. Overall, it’s like they said in “Suburban Commando”. It’s a nice place to live, but I wouldn’t want to visit. Yes, I just gave a “Suburban Commando” reference.
So that is all for now. The Second Round of Douchebrawl will end at 8pm MST tonight and the results will be up shortly afterward. Also, my next post will be based off of the summer movie blockbusters seeing as how my raging orgasm last night at “10,000 BC” during the “Iron Man” trailer woke the ghost of Captain America. Until then, I am going to run the streets for a bit. Peace out, peeps.
Diddy Out.
Friday, March 07, 2008
Sorry...I Came A Little Early. This Time It's A Good Thing!
What is this? Didn’t I JUST SAY the Friday staple was making a onetime only appearance on Saturday? Hell no, I gots to give ya’ll what ya want! So let’s get this party started, albeit late!
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We begin with a surprising success on its way out!
20. Snoop Dogg – Sexual Seduction (Last Week #16)
It looks to be the end of the road for The Doggfather as he is about to fall off the Countdown. He had a good run, even hitting the Top Five. Just saw his new video and….I am not a fan.
19. The Roots feat Dice Raw & Peedi Crack – Get Busy (New Entry)
HELL YEAH! The Roots are back in your fricking face! First Kanye, then Talib, then Lupe and now Black Thought and The Roots drop a new video and needless to say it aint like the other rap videos. You know….this could be the year rap comes back like cooked crack. Yeah, I said it.
18. Kid Sister feat. Kanye West – Pro Nails (Last Week #20)
Okay….I listened to this song like 10 times on the way to Boise and it was on when I landed. After a few weeks it has begun to grow on me. You know, if Kaba Modern danced to this…we could have ourselves a battle here.
17. Alicia Keys – Like You’ll Never See Me Again (Last Week #14, One Week at #1)
NO ALICIA! It is almost the end of the road for Miss Keys. Ever since September of 2007 Alicia has been a staple on this Countdown and for the first time since then it looks like she may not have a video on here. It hurts inside.
16. Yui – Laugh Away (New Entry)
After being gone for almost five months, Yui has TWO VIDEOS in the Top 20 yet again! Her album is FINALLY coming out in April and I am totally waiting for that day! This new video has a “CHE.R.RY” feel to it which means good stuff.
15. James Morrison – You Give Me Something (Last Week #18)
Mr. Morrison moves up a big three spots this week. You know, I don’t get to see this video often enough because….well people suck and don’t want to hear good music. I bet you there is a Lil’ Mama video on somewhere.
14. Sowelu – Hikari (Last Week #12)
Sowelu falls another two spots this week after coming so close to following up the success of “24Karats.” There is a new album coming soon so it aint all bad.
13. Foxxi MisQ – X.B.F. (Last Week #15)
I got nothing. Just look at them.
12. NaNa – SHOW GIRL (Last Week #10, Two Weeks at #1)
Well, it was bound to happen. NaNa doesn’t have a video in the Top 10 for the first time in 4 months. Pretty kickass streak and I am STILL WAITING FOR SOMETHING NEW.
11. Erykah Badu - Honey (Last Week #13)
I need to pick up her new album! Oh, and this video is officially everywhere. It isn’t as good as “On & On” or “Love Of My Life” but it is up there. Not only that, she is a step away from her first Top Ten video! Nice!
10. Hearts Grow - Kasanaru Kage (Last Week #11)
We start off the upper half with a repeat contender! Hearts Grow is looking to better the success of “Himawari” and with this video they may just do it! I haven’t heard much about what they plan on doing about an album but I am looking forward to it.
9. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Amazing (Last Week #7)
HAMC falls another two spots this week in a tad of a shocker. Their new video should be on soon though because I am really beginning to like it.
8. Yui – Namidairo (Last Week #9)
We have more Yui! Remember when I demanded more Yui every three minutes? Well, now I got it and I cannot be happier. Although I am looking for another “Rolling Star” but you can’t win them all, you know?
7. UVERworld - Roots (Last Week #6)
After a strong run, it looks like The World isn’t going to take over the top spot. It is a shame because their new album is better as a WHOLE than “BUGRIGHT” but it had “Shamrock” and that is really hard to top.
6. Mihimaru GT – Diverge (Last Week #8)
You know, some of you may think that Mihimaru GT came from nowhere with this dominance of the Countdown but they have been around for a minute and I have been a fan for a second. Because of that, they are moving up and looking for their second number one video. But now we are left with five!
5. Nelly Furtado – In God’s Hands (Last Week #3)
Nelly Furtado couldn’t take the top spot again. Nelly falls from the Top Three this week and looks to be falling farther. She has been running off of “Loose” since 2006 and it is about that time to give me something new. C’mon, woman!
4. RBD - Inalcanzable (Last Week #5)
RBD! RBD! RBD! The rebels move up one spot this week as they look to pull their first number one video! You know, I thought that their entry into the American market would have been better received but it is proof that America sucks ass. We passed on Joe Carter, too. To the Top Three!
3. John Legend – Show Me (Last Week #2)
John couldn’t do it! After two weeks at runner up, “Show Me” went the way of “Stereo” and falls just short of the top. However, John is the most dominant force on the Countdown since it’s humble beginnings in 2006. That is a good feat with all the great videos he has had to compete with. And then there were two!
2. Lupe Fiasco feat Kanye West, Pharrell & Thom Yorke – Us Placers (Last Week #1, Four Weeks at #1)
SHOCKER! After a dominant one month run, CRS falls a spot and relinquishes the top spot! This video is still great and I still love the song but there was one video that stood above the rest. And despite the greatness of this video, we have a NEW NUMBER ONE VIDEO!!
1. Bennie K – Monochrome (Last Week #4, One Week at #1)
After only a month, Bennie K takes their first number one spot on over a year! As a matter of fact, it was over a year between this video and “1001 Nights” but Yuki and Cico’s fine selves came back with a vengeance! I listen to this song and watch this video every day (even at work) and it is simply awesome! It has been a short ride but Bennie K is back on top!
That is all for this week! Tune in next week to see if Bennie K can hold on for another week! Or with the combined might of CRS topple them and recapture the throne? Or can RBD’s combined hotness heat up the top? Tune in to find out!
I brought this up a day early because I had some time to finish this up because I am too exhausted to go out after a week of intensive training. However, I will have a recap of my trip to Boise and Douchebrawl results on Sunday. Tomorrow….I think it is Denver time. Until next time, stay up.
Diddy Out.
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We begin with a surprising success on its way out!
20. Snoop Dogg – Sexual Seduction (Last Week #16)
It looks to be the end of the road for The Doggfather as he is about to fall off the Countdown. He had a good run, even hitting the Top Five. Just saw his new video and….I am not a fan.
19. The Roots feat Dice Raw & Peedi Crack – Get Busy (New Entry)
HELL YEAH! The Roots are back in your fricking face! First Kanye, then Talib, then Lupe and now Black Thought and The Roots drop a new video and needless to say it aint like the other rap videos. You know….this could be the year rap comes back like cooked crack. Yeah, I said it.
18. Kid Sister feat. Kanye West – Pro Nails (Last Week #20)
Okay….I listened to this song like 10 times on the way to Boise and it was on when I landed. After a few weeks it has begun to grow on me. You know, if Kaba Modern danced to this…we could have ourselves a battle here.
17. Alicia Keys – Like You’ll Never See Me Again (Last Week #14, One Week at #1)
NO ALICIA! It is almost the end of the road for Miss Keys. Ever since September of 2007 Alicia has been a staple on this Countdown and for the first time since then it looks like she may not have a video on here. It hurts inside.
16. Yui – Laugh Away (New Entry)
After being gone for almost five months, Yui has TWO VIDEOS in the Top 20 yet again! Her album is FINALLY coming out in April and I am totally waiting for that day! This new video has a “CHE.R.RY” feel to it which means good stuff.
15. James Morrison – You Give Me Something (Last Week #18)
Mr. Morrison moves up a big three spots this week. You know, I don’t get to see this video often enough because….well people suck and don’t want to hear good music. I bet you there is a Lil’ Mama video on somewhere.
14. Sowelu – Hikari (Last Week #12)
Sowelu falls another two spots this week after coming so close to following up the success of “24Karats.” There is a new album coming soon so it aint all bad.
13. Foxxi MisQ – X.B.F. (Last Week #15)
I got nothing. Just look at them.
12. NaNa – SHOW GIRL (Last Week #10, Two Weeks at #1)
Well, it was bound to happen. NaNa doesn’t have a video in the Top 10 for the first time in 4 months. Pretty kickass streak and I am STILL WAITING FOR SOMETHING NEW.
11. Erykah Badu - Honey (Last Week #13)
I need to pick up her new album! Oh, and this video is officially everywhere. It isn’t as good as “On & On” or “Love Of My Life” but it is up there. Not only that, she is a step away from her first Top Ten video! Nice!
10. Hearts Grow - Kasanaru Kage (Last Week #11)
We start off the upper half with a repeat contender! Hearts Grow is looking to better the success of “Himawari” and with this video they may just do it! I haven’t heard much about what they plan on doing about an album but I am looking forward to it.
9. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Amazing (Last Week #7)
HAMC falls another two spots this week in a tad of a shocker. Their new video should be on soon though because I am really beginning to like it.
8. Yui – Namidairo (Last Week #9)
We have more Yui! Remember when I demanded more Yui every three minutes? Well, now I got it and I cannot be happier. Although I am looking for another “Rolling Star” but you can’t win them all, you know?
7. UVERworld - Roots (Last Week #6)
After a strong run, it looks like The World isn’t going to take over the top spot. It is a shame because their new album is better as a WHOLE than “BUGRIGHT” but it had “Shamrock” and that is really hard to top.
6. Mihimaru GT – Diverge (Last Week #8)
You know, some of you may think that Mihimaru GT came from nowhere with this dominance of the Countdown but they have been around for a minute and I have been a fan for a second. Because of that, they are moving up and looking for their second number one video. But now we are left with five!
5. Nelly Furtado – In God’s Hands (Last Week #3)
Nelly Furtado couldn’t take the top spot again. Nelly falls from the Top Three this week and looks to be falling farther. She has been running off of “Loose” since 2006 and it is about that time to give me something new. C’mon, woman!
4. RBD - Inalcanzable (Last Week #5)
RBD! RBD! RBD! The rebels move up one spot this week as they look to pull their first number one video! You know, I thought that their entry into the American market would have been better received but it is proof that America sucks ass. We passed on Joe Carter, too. To the Top Three!
3. John Legend – Show Me (Last Week #2)
John couldn’t do it! After two weeks at runner up, “Show Me” went the way of “Stereo” and falls just short of the top. However, John is the most dominant force on the Countdown since it’s humble beginnings in 2006. That is a good feat with all the great videos he has had to compete with. And then there were two!
2. Lupe Fiasco feat Kanye West, Pharrell & Thom Yorke – Us Placers (Last Week #1, Four Weeks at #1)
SHOCKER! After a dominant one month run, CRS falls a spot and relinquishes the top spot! This video is still great and I still love the song but there was one video that stood above the rest. And despite the greatness of this video, we have a NEW NUMBER ONE VIDEO!!
1. Bennie K – Monochrome (Last Week #4, One Week at #1)
After only a month, Bennie K takes their first number one spot on over a year! As a matter of fact, it was over a year between this video and “1001 Nights” but Yuki and Cico’s fine selves came back with a vengeance! I listen to this song and watch this video every day (even at work) and it is simply awesome! It has been a short ride but Bennie K is back on top!
That is all for this week! Tune in next week to see if Bennie K can hold on for another week! Or with the combined might of CRS topple them and recapture the throne? Or can RBD’s combined hotness heat up the top? Tune in to find out!
I brought this up a day early because I had some time to finish this up because I am too exhausted to go out after a week of intensive training. However, I will have a recap of my trip to Boise and Douchebrawl results on Sunday. Tomorrow….I think it is Denver time. Until next time, stay up.
Diddy Out.
I AINT DEAD, A-HOLES!
I’M BACK, BITCHES! I just landed about 20 minutes ago and I had to let you know that the kid aint dead! However, everything is pushed back a day. The Countdown will make a rare Saturday appearance (NEW NUMBER ONE VIDEO!!!) and the usual Saturday blog will be up on SUNDAY. However, the Second Round of Douchebrawl WILL end on Sunday night and the Suckass Sixteen will begin soon after! I will also have a full recap of my week in Boise. Just know this: there are a LOT of White people there. A LOT OF THEM. More this weekend; stay tuned. Until then, stay up!
Diddy Out!
Diddy Out!
Monday, March 03, 2008
It's Time For Round Two, Fools!
Douchebrawl's first round ended about 40 minutes ago and although the turnout was low as usual, I expect it to grow as we get along in the process. No real upsets aside from Fergie, Jack Thompson and Toby Keith making it into the Second Round. Here are the matchups!
Vote now, polls close next Sunday at 10pm EST!!!
VOTE OR DIE!!
Vote now, polls close next Sunday at 10pm EST!!!
VOTE OR DIE!!
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Still Waters Run Deep....Take A Dive.
I’m back, peeps! Douchebrawl’s first round ends tomorrow and I will have the results up Monday or tomorrow night. Updates will be scarce next week as I will be in Boise and I don’t think they have the internet yet. Surprisingly enough, they have militias…and Mormons. Yeah, I am going to hate this shit.
So I was talking to some people at the comic book store about the blog (I have four readers! W00t!) and they mentioned about how I have been updating more often lately. At the pace I am going I will have about 260 updates for 2008, more than 2006 (when I was on a roll) and last year when I had a really bad down period in the summer. With that, they noticed that I repeat topics a lot. My rants are mainly on bros, women and Black people recently in comparison to some of the great rants I had in 2006. Well, updating a blog and keeping it fresh is a lot more difficult than people think. It’s why TV shows have 13 episode seasons. To update everyday with new material gets hard to do after two years; that is just the nature of humor and commentary. With that being said, I am going to try something new today. Depending on the response I may do this more often (Like the Top 20 Video Countdown, Chachi’s Omnibus and Captain Master Chief Chachi Goes Hollywood) but right now I want to give you the first installment of a new part of the Passion of Chachi family:
Chachi’s Deep Thoughts!
Deep Thought #1: Women Seem To No Longer Be….Human?
Joe and I had an interesting discussion last night at Fox & Hound (aka, the worst restaurant in the Springs) about all the aids women have to make themselves look better. It was interesting because after I came to the realization that fake breasts look good with clothes on but horrible with clothes off (and I asked why women get them and I have yet to get an answer that isn’t counter-intuitive) I wondered why women augment themselves when they say they are independent and non-conformist. Yet…all tattoos they have are in the same spot. I went there. The simple fact is that there are several products/procedures that are out there that are used to make women feel (or perceive to feel) more beautiful:
• Jeans that lift and shape their butt (Normally I would like this but its a LIE!)
• Bras that lift, separate, accost and give concussion blasters to breasts (I kid)
• Every astringent, cleanser, pore filler and cosmetic available
• Hair dye (Which I believe is the dumbest shit ever. Sorry ladies)
• Fake lips, eye lashes, contacts and personalities (BURN!)
• Fake breasts, butt implants, lip injections, etc. (*Sigh*, what ever happend to nature?)
With all of that, there is no reason that women should complain about their beauty. Now initially that may sound like I am saying women have no excuse to be ugly and I don’t believe that to be true because no woman is ugly. They are all beautiful on the inside, and I have been there. In their houses to find out where they work so I can wait for them until they get off and follow them home. That’s a date, and don’t judge me. Think about it, what do MEN have to make them look better?
• Cars (Which I have one but a Saturn screams economy, not ballin)
• Money (To which I am nowhere near ballin enough to counteract my ugly)
• Steroids (And I don’t want to look like Barry Bonds. The man has a head like a grizzly)
And that is IT. Hell, the fashion and cosmetic industry LITERALLY make 90% of their revenue from women. Although men usually PAY for it (Destiny’s Child, anyone?) the fact that so much emphasis is put on how females look is no long a man’s fault. It is about supply and demand. Women decide they aren’t pretty enough so then they want items to make them socially prettier. Is it wrong to create a product to help with that insecurity? Hell no! It’s what makes America great! I don’t even see why they complain about it because women can be a different person every day with all the products out for them to change their appearance to be “more attractive.” Women have SO MANY FACTORS in their corner that they can use to almost create a whole new person a la “I’m Gonna Git You Sucka”:
Seriously, that is what it has been reduced to. From now on, women need a disclaimer on them and a nutritional value that says what percentage is fake and what is real. Yes….I went there. I have yet to understand why women go through the torture of wearing clothes that don’t fit and undergoing procedures to modify their bodies so they can either impress men or…impress men. It all falls back to that. Yet, I always say if someone doesn’t like you for how you are then that is their choice and changing yourself to fit into a social norm of beauty is self-defeating because beauty is in acceptance of yourself. Think about THAT ONE for a second.
Deep Thought #2: Canadian Stampede…GREATEST PPV EVER. And Wrestling Will Never Get That Good.
I know none of you are wrestling fans and I really don’t give a fuck. Canadian Stampede was one of the few PPV’s I have seen live (Along with Wrestlemania X-7 which is a CLOSE second. And I mean CLOSE second) and man was it HOT. The Canadians may not be very cool (Aside from Bryan Adams of course) but they know how to be a hot wrestling crowd. Every match on the card was either fucking awesome (The Great Sasuke vs. TAKA), very good (Triple H vs. Mankind), very watchable (Vader vs. Undertaker) or arguably the greatest tag team match of all time (the main event). I was (and still am) a HUGE Bret Hart mark (yeah, I said mark) and I was all over the opening of the main event. The match was executed very well and the crowd made the match for me. Just e-fucking-lectric. It’s a tragedy that four of the ten participants (Owen Hart, Davey Boy Smith, Brian Pillman and Hawk) are no longer with us:
You know what? I want John Cena to take a look at this video and see the ring presence of Bret Hart. Learn it and shut the fuck up. You will never be as good as anyone in this ring, sans Ken Shamrock. He sucked. Oh, and dare I say the figure four leg lock on the ring post may be one of the best spots in wrestling? It’s about showmanship, people. I mean I can’t COMPLETELY blame Cena. I mean who is his competition face-wise? Hulk Hogan had The Ultimate Warrior. Bret Hart had Shawn (ugh) Michaels. Steve Austin had The Rock. In wrestling, every number one needs a 1A. Who is that now? Batista? I don’t think people connected with him the same after his pectoral tear…the second one I mean. The Undertaker is on his way out and Shawn Michaels sure as well better be because he is more broken physically than the psyche of a freshman sorority girl after the first kegger of the school year. Vince will NEVER (And I mean NEVER) push CM Punk no matter how talented we all think he is so ROH fans need to just stop. Vince will push Snitsky over him…and has. I have said it once and I will say it again: you are only as good as your competition. Cena’s competition is either old, over exposed or he has already BEATEN (Like with the Edge situation. He could be the next Randy Savage if the WWE weren’t such tools) so you have booked him into a corner where no one believes that his opponent has a chance to beat him in any way shape or form unless he is Triple H. *Sigh* I miss the good old days:
I miss the attitude. Now it is just CRAP-itude.
Deep Thought #3: God Hates Colorado
Seriously. I am getting SICK AND TIRED of the fucking pot holes here. I mean some of them aren’t even holes anymore; they are damn ditches. Just traveling to get my oil changed I thought I broke my fucking shocks (Luckily nothing was wrong) from two huge ass potholes on Chelton. Not only that, how can it be 74 degrees yesterday and only like 26 right now?! FUUUUUUUCK!
Deep Though #4: Teenagers Are Stupid And Don’t Need To Be Pandered To.
Now you all know what I feel about children. We don’t give them enough credit, but at the end of the day they are STILL children which means that they are less than people. Teenagers….are even worse. I mean aside from “The N” which has a few good shows from my childhood (Daria, Saved By The Bell, the original DeGrassi for a while) for the most part, the “teenification” of American TV, music and cinema is fucking up all the good stuff. There are no more cartoons out there. Remember when we were teenagers? The cartoons were intelligent yet funny:
• Animaniacs
• Tazmania
• The Tick (w00t, motherfuckers!)
• Pinky and The Brain
• Daria
• Freakazoid
• Gargoyles
• Darkwing Duck
Hell, even later in life (late teens, early twenties) we had Undergrads, Clone High and Invader Zim! Now name ONE good cartoon not called “Class of 3000?” All the shows are shitty teen shows like all the crap on the Disney Channel. They are all live action crap that acts like life can be resolved through working together and being yourself. BULLSHIT. Kids, the only way you can make it through school without being a fucking pussy and shooting up your classmates (Too soon?) is to find people like you and hold onto them because they are all that will help you maintain your sanity in the shitstorm that is high school. Remember that in the real world as well. College is a different story because your mentality changes when you are paying for class. I’m sorry, but I don’t see Hannah Montana as being the least bit vindicating, enlightening or entertaining. Same goes for every live action show (which to my defense I haven’t seen them all so I am typecasting but I am sure I am right. Brokeback Theory and all) on TV right now for teens. In comparison, remember OUR live action teen shows?
• Saved By The Bell
• Californina Dreams
• USA High
• Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
• Swans Crossing (GREATEST. KIDS SOAP. EVER)
• Hangtime
• And of course…Big Bad Beetle Borgs!
I don’t care what you say, Beetle Borgs forever! With that being said, the days of waking up on a Saturday morning to great shows until noon are over. It’s why most kids sleep in on Saturdays! There is nothing to get you revved up to go outside and play anymore! Even worse are these shows that are the live action shows that are “for kids” yet all they do is rip off from a “very special episode” of Blossom and add some mild cursing to it. And worse acting. If you ever wondered why kids are so maladjusted these days, take a look at these shows and just listen to them for a second when you are in the mall looking at shoes or something. They are fucking ridiculous. Parents can’t relate because what they absorb is so asinine that I am surprised that they done bump headlong into walls like Chris Redfield in the original Resident Evil as you try to avoid a zombie in the heat of the moment. We need to fix this and fix this now. At some point….we will have to vote for one of these fuckers.
Deep Thought #5: You Like NASCAR? Congrats, You Are Barely Smarter Than A Cat.
I was at the comic book store yesterday. I just found out that “Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader” comes on after NASCAR. Now that is just fucking IRONIC. Okay, let me explain something right here and now, boy. I am not an athletic guy by any means. But I can say this from a logic standpoint: NASCAR isn’t a sport. It’s engineering. A car is created and matched up against OTHER CARS. You really don’t even need a person to have a NASCAR race, all you need is a few do-until or do-while loops (Like…four MAX. Programmers understand what I mean) and you could have robots run the damn race. It is boring and it is stupid. If you like NASCAR you are barely above the mental acumen of a drugged cat. You know why? That was the only time Nala watched NASCAR because she is a FUCKING CAT AND SHE KNOWS NASCAR IS FUCKING STUPID!! I defend a lot of things I like but at the end of the day I can understand that not everyone sees the redeeming qualities in musicals, Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Derrickcomedy like I do. But I can honestly say that there is nothing redeeming about NASCAR. It is borderline racist (Say Blacks are invited if you will, but any place where they fly the Confederate flag over the American one and think the General Lee is more important than Kitt is a place where they fuck their cousins and I don’t want to be at because I know you don’t want me there) and the only real excitement is watching high speed traffic drive in a circle in hopes of a crash and a death. I have seen that; it was called I-25 during the Cosmix construction. NASCAR takes as much skill as it does to drive drunk and I don’t care if it is the most watched “sport” in America. Porn is the biggest selling medium on the internet and I don’t see your Jesus letting you support that. But why should you when you could always get your cousin drunk and see her naked. Better than I am getting right now, but I prefer to keep my sex out of the family. Thaaaaaaaaanks.
That is all for now. Douchebrawl is running a tad bit late but I will have updates up by Tuesday. Until then, you know where to find me. I’ll be around:
Rappin 4-Tay in the house, fools!
Diddy Out.
So I was talking to some people at the comic book store about the blog (I have four readers! W00t!) and they mentioned about how I have been updating more often lately. At the pace I am going I will have about 260 updates for 2008, more than 2006 (when I was on a roll) and last year when I had a really bad down period in the summer. With that, they noticed that I repeat topics a lot. My rants are mainly on bros, women and Black people recently in comparison to some of the great rants I had in 2006. Well, updating a blog and keeping it fresh is a lot more difficult than people think. It’s why TV shows have 13 episode seasons. To update everyday with new material gets hard to do after two years; that is just the nature of humor and commentary. With that being said, I am going to try something new today. Depending on the response I may do this more often (Like the Top 20 Video Countdown, Chachi’s Omnibus and Captain Master Chief Chachi Goes Hollywood) but right now I want to give you the first installment of a new part of the Passion of Chachi family:
Chachi’s Deep Thoughts!
Deep Thought #1: Women Seem To No Longer Be….Human?
Joe and I had an interesting discussion last night at Fox & Hound (aka, the worst restaurant in the Springs) about all the aids women have to make themselves look better. It was interesting because after I came to the realization that fake breasts look good with clothes on but horrible with clothes off (and I asked why women get them and I have yet to get an answer that isn’t counter-intuitive) I wondered why women augment themselves when they say they are independent and non-conformist. Yet…all tattoos they have are in the same spot. I went there. The simple fact is that there are several products/procedures that are out there that are used to make women feel (or perceive to feel) more beautiful:
• Jeans that lift and shape their butt (Normally I would like this but its a LIE!)
• Bras that lift, separate, accost and give concussion blasters to breasts (I kid)
• Every astringent, cleanser, pore filler and cosmetic available
• Hair dye (Which I believe is the dumbest shit ever. Sorry ladies)
• Fake lips, eye lashes, contacts and personalities (BURN!)
• Fake breasts, butt implants, lip injections, etc. (*Sigh*, what ever happend to nature?)
With all of that, there is no reason that women should complain about their beauty. Now initially that may sound like I am saying women have no excuse to be ugly and I don’t believe that to be true because no woman is ugly. They are all beautiful on the inside, and I have been there. In their houses to find out where they work so I can wait for them until they get off and follow them home. That’s a date, and don’t judge me. Think about it, what do MEN have to make them look better?
• Cars (Which I have one but a Saturn screams economy, not ballin)
• Money (To which I am nowhere near ballin enough to counteract my ugly)
• Steroids (And I don’t want to look like Barry Bonds. The man has a head like a grizzly)
And that is IT. Hell, the fashion and cosmetic industry LITERALLY make 90% of their revenue from women. Although men usually PAY for it (Destiny’s Child, anyone?) the fact that so much emphasis is put on how females look is no long a man’s fault. It is about supply and demand. Women decide they aren’t pretty enough so then they want items to make them socially prettier. Is it wrong to create a product to help with that insecurity? Hell no! It’s what makes America great! I don’t even see why they complain about it because women can be a different person every day with all the products out for them to change their appearance to be “more attractive.” Women have SO MANY FACTORS in their corner that they can use to almost create a whole new person a la “I’m Gonna Git You Sucka”:
Seriously, that is what it has been reduced to. From now on, women need a disclaimer on them and a nutritional value that says what percentage is fake and what is real. Yes….I went there. I have yet to understand why women go through the torture of wearing clothes that don’t fit and undergoing procedures to modify their bodies so they can either impress men or…impress men. It all falls back to that. Yet, I always say if someone doesn’t like you for how you are then that is their choice and changing yourself to fit into a social norm of beauty is self-defeating because beauty is in acceptance of yourself. Think about THAT ONE for a second.
Deep Thought #2: Canadian Stampede…GREATEST PPV EVER. And Wrestling Will Never Get That Good.
I know none of you are wrestling fans and I really don’t give a fuck. Canadian Stampede was one of the few PPV’s I have seen live (Along with Wrestlemania X-7 which is a CLOSE second. And I mean CLOSE second) and man was it HOT. The Canadians may not be very cool (Aside from Bryan Adams of course) but they know how to be a hot wrestling crowd. Every match on the card was either fucking awesome (The Great Sasuke vs. TAKA), very good (Triple H vs. Mankind), very watchable (Vader vs. Undertaker) or arguably the greatest tag team match of all time (the main event). I was (and still am) a HUGE Bret Hart mark (yeah, I said mark) and I was all over the opening of the main event. The match was executed very well and the crowd made the match for me. Just e-fucking-lectric. It’s a tragedy that four of the ten participants (Owen Hart, Davey Boy Smith, Brian Pillman and Hawk) are no longer with us:
You know what? I want John Cena to take a look at this video and see the ring presence of Bret Hart. Learn it and shut the fuck up. You will never be as good as anyone in this ring, sans Ken Shamrock. He sucked. Oh, and dare I say the figure four leg lock on the ring post may be one of the best spots in wrestling? It’s about showmanship, people. I mean I can’t COMPLETELY blame Cena. I mean who is his competition face-wise? Hulk Hogan had The Ultimate Warrior. Bret Hart had Shawn (ugh) Michaels. Steve Austin had The Rock. In wrestling, every number one needs a 1A. Who is that now? Batista? I don’t think people connected with him the same after his pectoral tear…the second one I mean. The Undertaker is on his way out and Shawn Michaels sure as well better be because he is more broken physically than the psyche of a freshman sorority girl after the first kegger of the school year. Vince will NEVER (And I mean NEVER) push CM Punk no matter how talented we all think he is so ROH fans need to just stop. Vince will push Snitsky over him…and has. I have said it once and I will say it again: you are only as good as your competition. Cena’s competition is either old, over exposed or he has already BEATEN (Like with the Edge situation. He could be the next Randy Savage if the WWE weren’t such tools) so you have booked him into a corner where no one believes that his opponent has a chance to beat him in any way shape or form unless he is Triple H. *Sigh* I miss the good old days:
I miss the attitude. Now it is just CRAP-itude.
Deep Thought #3: God Hates Colorado
Seriously. I am getting SICK AND TIRED of the fucking pot holes here. I mean some of them aren’t even holes anymore; they are damn ditches. Just traveling to get my oil changed I thought I broke my fucking shocks (Luckily nothing was wrong) from two huge ass potholes on Chelton. Not only that, how can it be 74 degrees yesterday and only like 26 right now?! FUUUUUUUCK!
Deep Though #4: Teenagers Are Stupid And Don’t Need To Be Pandered To.
Now you all know what I feel about children. We don’t give them enough credit, but at the end of the day they are STILL children which means that they are less than people. Teenagers….are even worse. I mean aside from “The N” which has a few good shows from my childhood (Daria, Saved By The Bell, the original DeGrassi for a while) for the most part, the “teenification” of American TV, music and cinema is fucking up all the good stuff. There are no more cartoons out there. Remember when we were teenagers? The cartoons were intelligent yet funny:
• Animaniacs
• Tazmania
• The Tick (w00t, motherfuckers!)
• Pinky and The Brain
• Daria
• Freakazoid
• Gargoyles
• Darkwing Duck
Hell, even later in life (late teens, early twenties) we had Undergrads, Clone High and Invader Zim! Now name ONE good cartoon not called “Class of 3000?” All the shows are shitty teen shows like all the crap on the Disney Channel. They are all live action crap that acts like life can be resolved through working together and being yourself. BULLSHIT. Kids, the only way you can make it through school without being a fucking pussy and shooting up your classmates (Too soon?) is to find people like you and hold onto them because they are all that will help you maintain your sanity in the shitstorm that is high school. Remember that in the real world as well. College is a different story because your mentality changes when you are paying for class. I’m sorry, but I don’t see Hannah Montana as being the least bit vindicating, enlightening or entertaining. Same goes for every live action show (which to my defense I haven’t seen them all so I am typecasting but I am sure I am right. Brokeback Theory and all) on TV right now for teens. In comparison, remember OUR live action teen shows?
• Saved By The Bell
• Californina Dreams
• USA High
• Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
• Swans Crossing (GREATEST. KIDS SOAP. EVER)
• Hangtime
• And of course…Big Bad Beetle Borgs!
I don’t care what you say, Beetle Borgs forever! With that being said, the days of waking up on a Saturday morning to great shows until noon are over. It’s why most kids sleep in on Saturdays! There is nothing to get you revved up to go outside and play anymore! Even worse are these shows that are the live action shows that are “for kids” yet all they do is rip off from a “very special episode” of Blossom and add some mild cursing to it. And worse acting. If you ever wondered why kids are so maladjusted these days, take a look at these shows and just listen to them for a second when you are in the mall looking at shoes or something. They are fucking ridiculous. Parents can’t relate because what they absorb is so asinine that I am surprised that they done bump headlong into walls like Chris Redfield in the original Resident Evil as you try to avoid a zombie in the heat of the moment. We need to fix this and fix this now. At some point….we will have to vote for one of these fuckers.
Deep Thought #5: You Like NASCAR? Congrats, You Are Barely Smarter Than A Cat.
I was at the comic book store yesterday. I just found out that “Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader” comes on after NASCAR. Now that is just fucking IRONIC. Okay, let me explain something right here and now, boy. I am not an athletic guy by any means. But I can say this from a logic standpoint: NASCAR isn’t a sport. It’s engineering. A car is created and matched up against OTHER CARS. You really don’t even need a person to have a NASCAR race, all you need is a few do-until or do-while loops (Like…four MAX. Programmers understand what I mean) and you could have robots run the damn race. It is boring and it is stupid. If you like NASCAR you are barely above the mental acumen of a drugged cat. You know why? That was the only time Nala watched NASCAR because she is a FUCKING CAT AND SHE KNOWS NASCAR IS FUCKING STUPID!! I defend a lot of things I like but at the end of the day I can understand that not everyone sees the redeeming qualities in musicals, Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Derrickcomedy like I do. But I can honestly say that there is nothing redeeming about NASCAR. It is borderline racist (Say Blacks are invited if you will, but any place where they fly the Confederate flag over the American one and think the General Lee is more important than Kitt is a place where they fuck their cousins and I don’t want to be at because I know you don’t want me there) and the only real excitement is watching high speed traffic drive in a circle in hopes of a crash and a death. I have seen that; it was called I-25 during the Cosmix construction. NASCAR takes as much skill as it does to drive drunk and I don’t care if it is the most watched “sport” in America. Porn is the biggest selling medium on the internet and I don’t see your Jesus letting you support that. But why should you when you could always get your cousin drunk and see her naked. Better than I am getting right now, but I prefer to keep my sex out of the family. Thaaaaaaaaanks.
That is all for now. Douchebrawl is running a tad bit late but I will have updates up by Tuesday. Until then, you know where to find me. I’ll be around:
Rappin 4-Tay in the house, fools!
Diddy Out.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Three Days Until Liftoff....
It is Friday so you know what that means! It’s time for the…
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We begin with a big debut video!
20. Kid Sister feat. Kanye West – Pro Nails (New Entry)
Okay…I am ashamed I like this video. But I just can’t help it! The hook is bananas and dammit this beat is tits! Plus when Kanye aint talking, he is alright.
19. Abingdon Boys School – Blade Chord (Last Week #17)
ABS looks like they are spending their last week on the Countdown. I am still looking for the news on the new TM Revolution album but once again I have been thwarted.
18. James Morrison – You Give Me Something (Last Week #19)
James Morrison moves up only one spot this week as he slowly works his way up the chart. Has anyone heard an album from him that I can pick up?
17. May J. – Do Tha, Do Tha (Last Week #15, One Week at #1)
NOOOOOOO! I needs me some more May J! She also needs herself a damn sandwich. I am sick of the skinny women lately.
16. Snoop Dogg – Sexual Seduction (Last Week #14)
Snoop Dogg falls another two spots this week as his new video should be out soon. Oh, and his reality show sucks I’ve heard. I will take your word for it.
15. Foxxi MisQ – X.B.F. (Last Week #18)
Foxxi is back and they are moving up three big spaces this week! These ladies are looking a tad bit older this time around but just as damn fine. Especially Dem. Just damn sexy. Tastes gooooood!
14. Alicia Keys – Like You’ll Never See Me Again (Last Week #12, One Week at #1)
So….when am I going to get a new video, Alicia?! Oh, and her album is STILL dominating the charts after five months or so. Now that’s big pimpin.
13. Erykah Badu - Honey (Last Week #16)
Miss Badu is moving on up! I hear her album comes out next week and I am a bit excited. Her last two albums have been “meh” so I am looking forward to this one.
12. Sowelu – Hikari (Last Week #9)
Sowelu falls out of the Top 10! It’s a shame, I was glad to have her back up there again. Needless to say, she heats up everything when she is around. Like an Asian Mandy Moore.
11. Hearts Grow - Kasanaru Kage (Last Week #13)
Hearts Grow is one step away from their second Top 10 video! Where in the hell is the album, people?!
10. NaNa – SHOW GIRL (Last Week #7, Two Weeks at #1)
So NaNa holds on to the Top 10 for another week, albeit at the end. I have yet to hear of anything new from the hottest lady to be on the Countdown and I am really jonesin right now.
9. Yui – Namidairo (Last Week #11)
Yui is BACK! Her latest video gives her five in the Top 10! I am really looking forward to her next album with it having “My Generation”, “Love & Truth” and now this one. It may be lacking of rocking songs like “Rolling Star” but that is life I guess.
8. Mihimaru GT – Diverge (Last Week #10)
Mihimaru GT is moving up with this ballad! I am watching this video more and more mainly because Hiroko looks great and….that’s actually all I need to like this video. Any word of a new album yet? Anyone?
7. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Amazing (Last Week #4)
After coming SO CLOSE to knocking off CRS, HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR falls from the Top Five. They have a new video out and it isn’t bad if I say so myself. Not up to par with their old stuff but it is still good.
6. UVERworld - Roots (Last Week #6)
UVERworld seems to have stalled this week as they stand pat at the number six spot and right outside of the Top Five. Can they continue their previous upward mobility next week? Onto the Top Five!
5. RBD - Inalcanzable (Last Week #8)
RBD IS BACK! Just not back in Colorado as they once again aren’t coming to Denver like a bunch of hot jerks. That is not cool! I am THIS CLOSE to starting a petition! Even still, they move into the Top Five for the first time since 2007!
4. Bennie K – Monochrome (Last Week #5)
Bennie K moves one step closer to their second number one video! This is about to become the ringtone if it doesn’t stop, I tell you what. This gets me hella excited because that means another Bennie K album is on the way! On another note, has anyone found a subbed version of “Binbo Danshi?” I have NO IDEA what is going on but it rules!
3. Nelly Furtado – In God’s Hands (Last Week #3)
Nelly Furtado stands pat at number three this week. Can she overtake John Legend or will she once again be held back?
2. John Legend – Show Me (Last Week #2)
John Legend is STILL looking for that elusive fourth number one video. He holds on to number two for the second straight week as he looks to unseat the current champ. With that being said…
1. Lupe Fiasco feat Kanye West, Pharrell & Thom Yorke – Us Placers (Last Week #1, Four Weeks at #1)
THE CHAMPS ARE STILL HERE! CRS and Thom Yorke have officially held on to the top spot for a full month, and join the ever elusive Full Month Club! Here is hoping that they actually do a full album or at least a mixtape. Congrats guys!
That is all for this week! Can CRS make it five weeks at number one? Or will John Legend become a total legend with his fourth number one video? Or can Nelly Furtado finally defeat John and take over the top spot? We will see next week!
Well, I am out. Hopefully it will be sushi and sake tonight but even if not, stay up peeps.
Diddy Out.
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We begin with a big debut video!
20. Kid Sister feat. Kanye West – Pro Nails (New Entry)
Okay…I am ashamed I like this video. But I just can’t help it! The hook is bananas and dammit this beat is tits! Plus when Kanye aint talking, he is alright.
19. Abingdon Boys School – Blade Chord (Last Week #17)
ABS looks like they are spending their last week on the Countdown. I am still looking for the news on the new TM Revolution album but once again I have been thwarted.
18. James Morrison – You Give Me Something (Last Week #19)
James Morrison moves up only one spot this week as he slowly works his way up the chart. Has anyone heard an album from him that I can pick up?
17. May J. – Do Tha, Do Tha (Last Week #15, One Week at #1)
NOOOOOOO! I needs me some more May J! She also needs herself a damn sandwich. I am sick of the skinny women lately.
16. Snoop Dogg – Sexual Seduction (Last Week #14)
Snoop Dogg falls another two spots this week as his new video should be out soon. Oh, and his reality show sucks I’ve heard. I will take your word for it.
15. Foxxi MisQ – X.B.F. (Last Week #18)
Foxxi is back and they are moving up three big spaces this week! These ladies are looking a tad bit older this time around but just as damn fine. Especially Dem. Just damn sexy. Tastes gooooood!
14. Alicia Keys – Like You’ll Never See Me Again (Last Week #12, One Week at #1)
So….when am I going to get a new video, Alicia?! Oh, and her album is STILL dominating the charts after five months or so. Now that’s big pimpin.
13. Erykah Badu - Honey (Last Week #16)
Miss Badu is moving on up! I hear her album comes out next week and I am a bit excited. Her last two albums have been “meh” so I am looking forward to this one.
12. Sowelu – Hikari (Last Week #9)
Sowelu falls out of the Top 10! It’s a shame, I was glad to have her back up there again. Needless to say, she heats up everything when she is around. Like an Asian Mandy Moore.
11. Hearts Grow - Kasanaru Kage (Last Week #13)
Hearts Grow is one step away from their second Top 10 video! Where in the hell is the album, people?!
10. NaNa – SHOW GIRL (Last Week #7, Two Weeks at #1)
So NaNa holds on to the Top 10 for another week, albeit at the end. I have yet to hear of anything new from the hottest lady to be on the Countdown and I am really jonesin right now.
9. Yui – Namidairo (Last Week #11)
Yui is BACK! Her latest video gives her five in the Top 10! I am really looking forward to her next album with it having “My Generation”, “Love & Truth” and now this one. It may be lacking of rocking songs like “Rolling Star” but that is life I guess.
8. Mihimaru GT – Diverge (Last Week #10)
Mihimaru GT is moving up with this ballad! I am watching this video more and more mainly because Hiroko looks great and….that’s actually all I need to like this video. Any word of a new album yet? Anyone?
7. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Amazing (Last Week #4)
After coming SO CLOSE to knocking off CRS, HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR falls from the Top Five. They have a new video out and it isn’t bad if I say so myself. Not up to par with their old stuff but it is still good.
6. UVERworld - Roots (Last Week #6)
UVERworld seems to have stalled this week as they stand pat at the number six spot and right outside of the Top Five. Can they continue their previous upward mobility next week? Onto the Top Five!
5. RBD - Inalcanzable (Last Week #8)
RBD IS BACK! Just not back in Colorado as they once again aren’t coming to Denver like a bunch of hot jerks. That is not cool! I am THIS CLOSE to starting a petition! Even still, they move into the Top Five for the first time since 2007!
4. Bennie K – Monochrome (Last Week #5)
Bennie K moves one step closer to their second number one video! This is about to become the ringtone if it doesn’t stop, I tell you what. This gets me hella excited because that means another Bennie K album is on the way! On another note, has anyone found a subbed version of “Binbo Danshi?” I have NO IDEA what is going on but it rules!
3. Nelly Furtado – In God’s Hands (Last Week #3)
Nelly Furtado stands pat at number three this week. Can she overtake John Legend or will she once again be held back?
2. John Legend – Show Me (Last Week #2)
John Legend is STILL looking for that elusive fourth number one video. He holds on to number two for the second straight week as he looks to unseat the current champ. With that being said…
1. Lupe Fiasco feat Kanye West, Pharrell & Thom Yorke – Us Placers (Last Week #1, Four Weeks at #1)
THE CHAMPS ARE STILL HERE! CRS and Thom Yorke have officially held on to the top spot for a full month, and join the ever elusive Full Month Club! Here is hoping that they actually do a full album or at least a mixtape. Congrats guys!
That is all for this week! Can CRS make it five weeks at number one? Or will John Legend become a total legend with his fourth number one video? Or can Nelly Furtado finally defeat John and take over the top spot? We will see next week!
Well, I am out. Hopefully it will be sushi and sake tonight but even if not, stay up peeps.
Diddy Out.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Whoo Whoo! Pain Bus Coming! Whoo Whoo!
What is up, peeps! It is another Wednesday and of course I feel like total shit. I swear, over the last eight months or so I have gone from blinding rage to sniveling pussy boy. I have said since college that as much as I hate emo, the only thing keeping me from going that way is the bad fashion sense. If I am going to brood, I want to look FAB-YOU-LOUS doing it. You know, sometimes I like to take this knife and just cut myself and see how deep I can go before I just…pass out, man. Oh, don’t act so shocked. You knew I was fucking crazy.
So a lot of people have been reading my blog lately (On the Blogger side, anyway. People drop me from MySpace all the time…and you know who you fucking are) and shockingly enough, people have been asking me questions. Seeing as how my friends go (and pretty much in order)
1. Griff (My dog for life. RIDE OR DIE, NUKKA! Like a Black Buddha, minus the halcyon days. Griff is an angry ass dude. And it has NOTHING to do with him being a Muslim, you racist bastards! It’s because he’s Black)
2a. Zach (Would be number one…but he hits me)
2b. Rick (I don’t see him often enough for him to be number one but a man that will let you sleep on his couch when you are about to yuke….that’s true friendship)
2c. Nolan (Because of all four, we would make the best buddy cop movie. A Morman and a Black man fighting crime? Smell the ratings!)
3. Nicole (Because at the end of the day….you are still a woman. And women are the fucking devil)
4. Amberly (See above. More on this later)
5. Ted (Because he has helped me hide many a hookers dead body over the last 8 years)
After that I have pretty much no one to talk to so I talk to myself, Christopher Williams style:
So the fact that people that I don’t really know are interested in why I am such an emotional wreck is touching. Almost makes me happy to be alive. ALMOST. So in keeping up with the theme of this blog, it always has and will be about the peeps. So to show you all that I care….okay I cant keep a straight face. To show you all that I am LISTENING but don’t care I have a special edition of a little something that I call the bus. So grab your bags, get your PBJ and orange slices and keep your hands inside the windows because we are going on a field trip, bitches! I give to you….
The Passion of Chachi Omnibus: The People’s Champ Edition!
Man….that dude was FUCKING AWESOME. So lets get this bus a rollin!
Question #1: Why Do You Think People Suck, Guy?
It has been told to my by several (Read: TWO and I only have five or so people that visit) readers that I have become increasingly dark and more pissed off than usual. Well, I would have to agree with that because my life has become increasingly full of crushing defeats and it is my own fault. I put way too much stock in people and their ability to not be fucktards which in the end gets to be a lesson in ME being a fucktard for thinking people are worth more than the air they breathe. Which they aren’t. So from this point on, I am running under a new frame of mind. Getting upset is rather counter-productive to what I naturally believe in so I am going to change that. How you ask?
UTTER AND COMPLETE APATHY.
Nolan had a pretty good idea about the people suck theory. Seeing as how I would LIKE a meaningful relationship with a member of the opposite sex but that shit aint gonna happen because I am kind of a spaz, it seems like a pretty good recourse. When it all breaks down, the less emotional stock I put into caring about people and what they think, the less I have to worry about being shocked when people disappoint me or piss me off. Rather than get upset or bitch to Griff and listen to Yuna Ito songs all night while I watch Korean dramas (I likes me a good cry, okay?!) and eat Pocky to the point I am too depressed to even masturbate (Which means I am REALLY DEPRESSED) I am just going to say “eh.” No more emotion, no more caring, no more being jaded. Although….this is the ULTIMATE in being jaded but let me have this. I am having a breakthrough here, no matter how fucked up it is.
The way I look at it, with the way my life has been going on the emotional front it is a hell of a lot easier to stop caring than to get mad. Logically, being apathetic about relationships with people means that I may miss out on some earth-shattering highs and possible some wonderful moments. But seeing as how my life has been a series of “HOW IN THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN?!” moments that end in days (read: months) of confusion and melancholy MP3 mixes with the eventual breakthrough and having the “I’m Beautiful, Dammit!” moments only to get stabbed in the chest like Steve Irwin in a tank full of stingrays (It has been long enough. Take a fucking joke), apathy doesn’t seem like a bad idea. To me it seems like a fair tradeoff to avoid the pride-destroying lows even though I sacrifice the one or two moments of uninhibited elation that comes to me a year. Yeah….I am kind of a mess. Everyone back on the bus! Let me make a stop before I plow this bad boy into a river…
Question #2: Seriously….Are You Gay? C’mon, It’s Cool If You Are!
You know what? I have been asked this question twice this year (You will remain nameless, you dumb bitches) and I decided a long time ago that this didn’t bug me but the fact that this has come up AGAIN means people obviously didn’t listen the first fucking time. Even better to revisit because my stance has changed about the subject, too. My answer will be and will always be that I am not sexually attracted to men. Or animals so don’t even think about getting smart…except collies. Lassie was damn hot. Yes, collies are the new Asians when it comes to fetishes. Anyway, I am making no allegiances to women because one has never really made one to me. I mean as of right now, I am leaving my options open to anything that isn’t something I would eat in a pinch sans dudes. And you know what? The only reason that dudes are off this list isn’t because it is immoral (Which it isn’t) but because I don’t want to have sex. Especially gay sex. I mean, I am not a cock tease here and I don’t want to give off the wrong vibe because I aint down for the reach around on either end. For the most part it is easier to be long term friends with a man because there is no real emotional attachment there. Rick has bought me drinks; I don’t see a need to offer him a handjob. It’s because we boys. For some reason when I buy drinks for a woman they believe that I want to fuck them and that is just the ultimate in ego right there. Seriously, get over yourself. You may not read this but you know who you are.
Secondly, I know that I can say what I need to say to any MALE friend that might piss them off because in the end it is either for humor or because they need to hear it. You know how many times my male friends have railed into me for old women?! A FUCKING LOT! Now tell a female friend (Or even better your GIRLFRIEND) that she is being petty about something or ask her to take a look at something in a different way. You may as well try to fuck a lion because both are painful and about if pointless. Being friends with men may be hard because what I like (musicals, disco, dancing, disco dancing, musicals about disco dancing) is almost inherently female sans football but it is a lot easier than being friends with women because you pretty much become Dr. Phil and they don’t listen and after a while I stop caring. Case in point, this was a dialog after telling a female friend about how she was wrong about something last Thursday (I believe):
Friend: I can’t believe you said something so mean! I thought we were friends….
Me: We are. Unless or friendship is solely based on me telling you what you want to hear all the time. I don’t see how that is beneficial especially in a situation like this.
Friend: Are you going to help me and give me advice or are you going to insult me?
Me: ….I am going to give the advice of what you SHOULD do, you will do what you WANT to do and then you will get upset. It’s clockwork. I can set my damn watch to it. So let’s just say this conversation happened and you do what you need to do while I drive because it’s snowing.
Friend: You’re a fucking dick.
Me: Nolan would laugh.
Friend: What’s a Nolan?
I will stop there. This is how a conversation with a male friend would go:
Friend: Stop being a candyass.
Me: Fine, fucky.
Friend: Fuck you too, fucky.
Me: We getting drinks? (Replace with Mario Kart or Devil May Cry for my non-drinkers)
Friend: Hells yeah, bitch.
See how easy that is?! Now imagine dating that woman from above. I have and it was not pretty at all. In the end, I could (and would) never date a man because that is not my thing. Since there is no viable third option (C’mon, Japan! Gimmie a Persocon!) I guess loneliness is my calling card. I’m a Manosexual. Two hands on the wheel!
Question #3: Hey, Man! You Have Been Easy On Religion! WTF!
Okay, I will admit to that and take ownership. I have laid off religion a great deal over the last few months. Mainly because religion is fucking lame and I am tired are arguing with people about shit that didn’t happen. You believe a hippie Jew walked on water? Knock yourself out. I no longer give a fuck about you or your long haired leader. To argue about religion is to argue about belief and I no longer have the time or the passion to do so. You believe in the word, I believe its all bullshit. It is a code to live your life by, not shit that really happened. But if you believe, go ahead with your bad self. Answer this: if life begins at conception, why don’t we celebrate birthdays from that date rather than when they fire out of a vagina like a snap in a shotgun formation? Because you would have to rely on science to find out when it was conceived and then science wins and once again religion loses. There is your sign: religion can still eat a dick but it can do it on its own time. I have video games and bros to rant about. With that being said, the bus is back on the road!
Question #4: What Is With All The Politics On The Blog Lately? WTF!
First off, people really say that and I despise internet speak. So fucking stop it. Second of all, I have always been political, even since high school. Living overseas I honestly believe gives you a new insight about America. Now I left Italy in 1992 but up until then I had spent more time overseas than I had stateside. I began to look at America from another perspective and I realized that…the status quo kind of sucks. Have you noticed that we are two primaries away from having Bush-Clinton-Bush-Clinton? I really sat back and thought about it and….I don’t want that. That is the chance for 24 years of two types of politics: fucked up and REALLY fucked up. I will leave it up to you which one is which. I don’t know about you, but I believe that it is time for a change. I am really sick of the way this country has been run and how we have either looked like pussies or bullies. I am sick of the two party system with both candidates saying the same thing except for the standard party line bullshit (abortion, the war, immigration, etc). I am sick of Jesus being held over my government. In the famous words of the late Owen Hart…
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH AND IT IS TIME FOR A CHANGE!!
This is the first time that I can remember that there have been two viable candidates running for President. Oh, and Hillary. I believe that if it becomes an Obama/McCain election for President, we could see a major change in the way not only this country is run but how the world views us. McCain is like Ronald Reagan minus the asshatery of trying to eliminate Black people. Yes, we sold drugs to each other but it got there some how. The shit didn’t grow on trees. McCain is a President NO ONE wants to fuck with because he will say he will kick your ass and then he will do it, thug style like only McInsane can do it. However, no one will ever….and I mean EVER want to be our ally again. He may not be a war monger but he wont repair ties with other countries and to some that may be fine but to me that is scary. Unless he forces them and even then that’s not how I prefer we do business.
Then you have Obama. No experience whatsoever. I played SimCity, I could be President! I believe that he could be a JFK. Hell, I believe that if he gets voted in that he will have a Bay of Pigs type of situation. I believe that he will be able to fix our relationships with our former allies and give America a fresh face of non-Imperialistic douchery. He could help rebuild NATO and even bring other countries into the fold and create a global force against asshatery and even terrorism. Hell, he may even give the UN an Army. About damn time, too. You know what else, he better rebuild NATO because with no military clout (Unless he gets a kick ass cabinet, unlike Bush) he will get fucked with EVERYDAY. If you win, get ready because you will be tested.
At the end of the day, the reason I am talking about politics is because for the first time in my history I am excited about it. There is a chance that no matter who is voted into office that the United States has a chance to change for the better. Neither is a fucktard (Clinton & Clinton) and neither is an asshat (Bush and Bush) and despite their faults, and they each have several, they are both going to do well in changing the course of America for the better. That is why this blog has politics now. VOTE OR DIE! But first, the last stop for the Omnibus!
Question #5: I Thought You Were Going To Do A State Of The Black Union?!
Ah, the great oxymoron: Black Union. Well, I will put it to you in one simple compound word:
CROSSROADS
Black people, understand that Obama is half-White so no matter what we have a white President. People seem to forget that. With that being said, we are seeing the De-Niggerfucation of Blacks in America at a surprising rate. It’s weird, I never thought we would see the day. The first people to revolt against the “Crank Dat” phenomenon? Black people. The first people to actually boycott BET? Black people. The first people to defend Don Imus? Black people. I really believe that a lot of us (And there aint that many of us now with the Hispanic population blowing up like a chili enema) realize that it is time to say “we need to fix this” because no one is going to do it for us. However, there is still a die-hard group of people that just REFUSE to let being ignorant go. They need to be dealt with quickly because they are the only ones the media listen to. Initially the thought was if we ignore them that hopefully everyone else would. No such luck as Jesse Jackson has gotten just as much screen time as Obama and CNN even asked him a question about Farrakhan last night. Why is that even pertinent to him running for the Democratic nomination?! Because he is Black. The fact is that getting respect is not going to be easy. We have made it half-way up the mountain to re-respectability in a very short time after the Kobe Incident and all we need is a little more effort. Problem is…niggas are lazy. They are like albacores around our necks. Facetious, people.
Long story short, the Black Union is at a point where either we are going to move into a brighter light and shine….or Crank Dat Batman. It’s up to ya’ll, I personally aint in the mood to crank nothing. And the bus has stopped for now!
That was LOOOOOOOONG! Well, I am sure the peeps need a rest so I am out. I will try to be back up tomorrow before the Countdown. Also, don’t forget to vote in Douchebrawl!
Diddy Out
So a lot of people have been reading my blog lately (On the Blogger side, anyway. People drop me from MySpace all the time…and you know who you fucking are) and shockingly enough, people have been asking me questions. Seeing as how my friends go (and pretty much in order)
1. Griff (My dog for life. RIDE OR DIE, NUKKA! Like a Black Buddha, minus the halcyon days. Griff is an angry ass dude. And it has NOTHING to do with him being a Muslim, you racist bastards! It’s because he’s Black)
2a. Zach (Would be number one…but he hits me)
2b. Rick (I don’t see him often enough for him to be number one but a man that will let you sleep on his couch when you are about to yuke….that’s true friendship)
2c. Nolan (Because of all four, we would make the best buddy cop movie. A Morman and a Black man fighting crime? Smell the ratings!)
3. Nicole (Because at the end of the day….you are still a woman. And women are the fucking devil)
4. Amberly (See above. More on this later)
5. Ted (Because he has helped me hide many a hookers dead body over the last 8 years)
After that I have pretty much no one to talk to so I talk to myself, Christopher Williams style:
So the fact that people that I don’t really know are interested in why I am such an emotional wreck is touching. Almost makes me happy to be alive. ALMOST. So in keeping up with the theme of this blog, it always has and will be about the peeps. So to show you all that I care….okay I cant keep a straight face. To show you all that I am LISTENING but don’t care I have a special edition of a little something that I call the bus. So grab your bags, get your PBJ and orange slices and keep your hands inside the windows because we are going on a field trip, bitches! I give to you….
The Passion of Chachi Omnibus: The People’s Champ Edition!
Man….that dude was FUCKING AWESOME. So lets get this bus a rollin!
Question #1: Why Do You Think People Suck, Guy?
It has been told to my by several (Read: TWO and I only have five or so people that visit) readers that I have become increasingly dark and more pissed off than usual. Well, I would have to agree with that because my life has become increasingly full of crushing defeats and it is my own fault. I put way too much stock in people and their ability to not be fucktards which in the end gets to be a lesson in ME being a fucktard for thinking people are worth more than the air they breathe. Which they aren’t. So from this point on, I am running under a new frame of mind. Getting upset is rather counter-productive to what I naturally believe in so I am going to change that. How you ask?
UTTER AND COMPLETE APATHY.
Nolan had a pretty good idea about the people suck theory. Seeing as how I would LIKE a meaningful relationship with a member of the opposite sex but that shit aint gonna happen because I am kind of a spaz, it seems like a pretty good recourse. When it all breaks down, the less emotional stock I put into caring about people and what they think, the less I have to worry about being shocked when people disappoint me or piss me off. Rather than get upset or bitch to Griff and listen to Yuna Ito songs all night while I watch Korean dramas (I likes me a good cry, okay?!) and eat Pocky to the point I am too depressed to even masturbate (Which means I am REALLY DEPRESSED) I am just going to say “eh.” No more emotion, no more caring, no more being jaded. Although….this is the ULTIMATE in being jaded but let me have this. I am having a breakthrough here, no matter how fucked up it is.
The way I look at it, with the way my life has been going on the emotional front it is a hell of a lot easier to stop caring than to get mad. Logically, being apathetic about relationships with people means that I may miss out on some earth-shattering highs and possible some wonderful moments. But seeing as how my life has been a series of “HOW IN THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN?!” moments that end in days (read: months) of confusion and melancholy MP3 mixes with the eventual breakthrough and having the “I’m Beautiful, Dammit!” moments only to get stabbed in the chest like Steve Irwin in a tank full of stingrays (It has been long enough. Take a fucking joke), apathy doesn’t seem like a bad idea. To me it seems like a fair tradeoff to avoid the pride-destroying lows even though I sacrifice the one or two moments of uninhibited elation that comes to me a year. Yeah….I am kind of a mess. Everyone back on the bus! Let me make a stop before I plow this bad boy into a river…
Question #2: Seriously….Are You Gay? C’mon, It’s Cool If You Are!
You know what? I have been asked this question twice this year (You will remain nameless, you dumb bitches) and I decided a long time ago that this didn’t bug me but the fact that this has come up AGAIN means people obviously didn’t listen the first fucking time. Even better to revisit because my stance has changed about the subject, too. My answer will be and will always be that I am not sexually attracted to men. Or animals so don’t even think about getting smart…except collies. Lassie was damn hot. Yes, collies are the new Asians when it comes to fetishes. Anyway, I am making no allegiances to women because one has never really made one to me. I mean as of right now, I am leaving my options open to anything that isn’t something I would eat in a pinch sans dudes. And you know what? The only reason that dudes are off this list isn’t because it is immoral (Which it isn’t) but because I don’t want to have sex. Especially gay sex. I mean, I am not a cock tease here and I don’t want to give off the wrong vibe because I aint down for the reach around on either end. For the most part it is easier to be long term friends with a man because there is no real emotional attachment there. Rick has bought me drinks; I don’t see a need to offer him a handjob. It’s because we boys. For some reason when I buy drinks for a woman they believe that I want to fuck them and that is just the ultimate in ego right there. Seriously, get over yourself. You may not read this but you know who you are.
Secondly, I know that I can say what I need to say to any MALE friend that might piss them off because in the end it is either for humor or because they need to hear it. You know how many times my male friends have railed into me for old women?! A FUCKING LOT! Now tell a female friend (Or even better your GIRLFRIEND) that she is being petty about something or ask her to take a look at something in a different way. You may as well try to fuck a lion because both are painful and about if pointless. Being friends with men may be hard because what I like (musicals, disco, dancing, disco dancing, musicals about disco dancing) is almost inherently female sans football but it is a lot easier than being friends with women because you pretty much become Dr. Phil and they don’t listen and after a while I stop caring. Case in point, this was a dialog after telling a female friend about how she was wrong about something last Thursday (I believe):
Friend: I can’t believe you said something so mean! I thought we were friends….
Me: We are. Unless or friendship is solely based on me telling you what you want to hear all the time. I don’t see how that is beneficial especially in a situation like this.
Friend: Are you going to help me and give me advice or are you going to insult me?
Me: ….I am going to give the advice of what you SHOULD do, you will do what you WANT to do and then you will get upset. It’s clockwork. I can set my damn watch to it. So let’s just say this conversation happened and you do what you need to do while I drive because it’s snowing.
Friend: You’re a fucking dick.
Me: Nolan would laugh.
Friend: What’s a Nolan?
I will stop there. This is how a conversation with a male friend would go:
Friend: Stop being a candyass.
Me: Fine, fucky.
Friend: Fuck you too, fucky.
Me: We getting drinks? (Replace with Mario Kart or Devil May Cry for my non-drinkers)
Friend: Hells yeah, bitch.
See how easy that is?! Now imagine dating that woman from above. I have and it was not pretty at all. In the end, I could (and would) never date a man because that is not my thing. Since there is no viable third option (C’mon, Japan! Gimmie a Persocon!) I guess loneliness is my calling card. I’m a Manosexual. Two hands on the wheel!
Question #3: Hey, Man! You Have Been Easy On Religion! WTF!
Okay, I will admit to that and take ownership. I have laid off religion a great deal over the last few months. Mainly because religion is fucking lame and I am tired are arguing with people about shit that didn’t happen. You believe a hippie Jew walked on water? Knock yourself out. I no longer give a fuck about you or your long haired leader. To argue about religion is to argue about belief and I no longer have the time or the passion to do so. You believe in the word, I believe its all bullshit. It is a code to live your life by, not shit that really happened. But if you believe, go ahead with your bad self. Answer this: if life begins at conception, why don’t we celebrate birthdays from that date rather than when they fire out of a vagina like a snap in a shotgun formation? Because you would have to rely on science to find out when it was conceived and then science wins and once again religion loses. There is your sign: religion can still eat a dick but it can do it on its own time. I have video games and bros to rant about. With that being said, the bus is back on the road!
Question #4: What Is With All The Politics On The Blog Lately? WTF!
First off, people really say that and I despise internet speak. So fucking stop it. Second of all, I have always been political, even since high school. Living overseas I honestly believe gives you a new insight about America. Now I left Italy in 1992 but up until then I had spent more time overseas than I had stateside. I began to look at America from another perspective and I realized that…the status quo kind of sucks. Have you noticed that we are two primaries away from having Bush-Clinton-Bush-Clinton? I really sat back and thought about it and….I don’t want that. That is the chance for 24 years of two types of politics: fucked up and REALLY fucked up. I will leave it up to you which one is which. I don’t know about you, but I believe that it is time for a change. I am really sick of the way this country has been run and how we have either looked like pussies or bullies. I am sick of the two party system with both candidates saying the same thing except for the standard party line bullshit (abortion, the war, immigration, etc). I am sick of Jesus being held over my government. In the famous words of the late Owen Hart…
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH AND IT IS TIME FOR A CHANGE!!
This is the first time that I can remember that there have been two viable candidates running for President. Oh, and Hillary. I believe that if it becomes an Obama/McCain election for President, we could see a major change in the way not only this country is run but how the world views us. McCain is like Ronald Reagan minus the asshatery of trying to eliminate Black people. Yes, we sold drugs to each other but it got there some how. The shit didn’t grow on trees. McCain is a President NO ONE wants to fuck with because he will say he will kick your ass and then he will do it, thug style like only McInsane can do it. However, no one will ever….and I mean EVER want to be our ally again. He may not be a war monger but he wont repair ties with other countries and to some that may be fine but to me that is scary. Unless he forces them and even then that’s not how I prefer we do business.
Then you have Obama. No experience whatsoever. I played SimCity, I could be President! I believe that he could be a JFK. Hell, I believe that if he gets voted in that he will have a Bay of Pigs type of situation. I believe that he will be able to fix our relationships with our former allies and give America a fresh face of non-Imperialistic douchery. He could help rebuild NATO and even bring other countries into the fold and create a global force against asshatery and even terrorism. Hell, he may even give the UN an Army. About damn time, too. You know what else, he better rebuild NATO because with no military clout (Unless he gets a kick ass cabinet, unlike Bush) he will get fucked with EVERYDAY. If you win, get ready because you will be tested.
At the end of the day, the reason I am talking about politics is because for the first time in my history I am excited about it. There is a chance that no matter who is voted into office that the United States has a chance to change for the better. Neither is a fucktard (Clinton & Clinton) and neither is an asshat (Bush and Bush) and despite their faults, and they each have several, they are both going to do well in changing the course of America for the better. That is why this blog has politics now. VOTE OR DIE! But first, the last stop for the Omnibus!
Question #5: I Thought You Were Going To Do A State Of The Black Union?!
Ah, the great oxymoron: Black Union. Well, I will put it to you in one simple compound word:
CROSSROADS
Black people, understand that Obama is half-White so no matter what we have a white President. People seem to forget that. With that being said, we are seeing the De-Niggerfucation of Blacks in America at a surprising rate. It’s weird, I never thought we would see the day. The first people to revolt against the “Crank Dat” phenomenon? Black people. The first people to actually boycott BET? Black people. The first people to defend Don Imus? Black people. I really believe that a lot of us (And there aint that many of us now with the Hispanic population blowing up like a chili enema) realize that it is time to say “we need to fix this” because no one is going to do it for us. However, there is still a die-hard group of people that just REFUSE to let being ignorant go. They need to be dealt with quickly because they are the only ones the media listen to. Initially the thought was if we ignore them that hopefully everyone else would. No such luck as Jesse Jackson has gotten just as much screen time as Obama and CNN even asked him a question about Farrakhan last night. Why is that even pertinent to him running for the Democratic nomination?! Because he is Black. The fact is that getting respect is not going to be easy. We have made it half-way up the mountain to re-respectability in a very short time after the Kobe Incident and all we need is a little more effort. Problem is…niggas are lazy. They are like albacores around our necks. Facetious, people.
Long story short, the Black Union is at a point where either we are going to move into a brighter light and shine….or Crank Dat Batman. It’s up to ya’ll, I personally aint in the mood to crank nothing. And the bus has stopped for now!
That was LOOOOOOOONG! Well, I am sure the peeps need a rest so I am out. I will try to be back up tomorrow before the Countdown. Also, don’t forget to vote in Douchebrawl!
Diddy Out
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