JYP: Carrying The Torch For Diddy Since 2004(ish)

What is up, peeps?! Quick note today on a few things. First off, the nominees for the Chachi Music Video Awards are almost complete! I just need to touch up the categories because I have added a few new ones (Due to the breadth of nominees, I have added Best K-Pop Video of the Year and Best J-Rock Video Of The Year. The latter was a blatant attempt to get Abingdon Boys School and Maximum the Hormone more nominations but it is my award show, not yours so DRINK IT DOWN!) and I need to prepare the nominees for the Chachi Music Awards but I am waiting until the end of the month with releases from T.I, John Legend, Wonder Girls and Kumi Koda (MY BABY BOO IS BACK!) coming in October. Speaking of the Wonder Girls….

NEW VIDEO FROM THE WONDER GIRLS!!

Mmmm, Yoo Bin. I how love thee. Also, Lil’ Mama could take a note from her. Seeing as how her existence kind of pisses me the hell off. She has an album and we haven’t heard from YoYo in years. WHAT UP WIT DAT?!

Seriously, that song was the mad notes. Now we are stuck with the “rapping” (?!) of Lil Kim and Foxxy Brown when her ass aint doing something stupid. Which is all the fucking time.

Back on the Wonder Girls. GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER! I aint no R. Kelly. So I noticed that the Korean Fiddy is back in video form and I could really do without having to see JYP. Seriously, he dances like MC Hammer on crack (Big ups to the dude that did the “Humpty Dance” with Zach and I at NDK Karaoke Madness! We wrecked it!) and looks like….well, a treasure troll that mated with Jahn Lee from the DOA series. Think I am wrong, mofo?

Jahn Lee

PLUS

Treasure Troll


EQUALS


Park Jin Young (Yes, I used the proper name order but he calls himself JYP because….well that shit sounds BAD ASS)

Nothing personal against the guy, but I am just not a fan of the new age Diddy. And we all know how much I used to hate Diddy back in the day when he was Diddy Puffenstuff McPhee. Or whatever his name is. That and I am kind of a stan for Rain. Sue me, I STILL listen to “Rain’s World” because it is that fucking ballin. Also, was there a need for the toilet joke? I mean I understand it was the videos’ main plot device but you KNOW how I feel about Koreans and poo humor. Some call it stereotyping, I call it not cool. It’s like the Japanese and bukkake and Black dudes on blond women in porn: everybody got their something. And as long as it is in good fun (Which this video is) it is all good, JYP. So I am sorry I overreacted and I ask you to forgive me. Poo in humor is a lot better than a grown ass man peeing on someone. I am looking at YOU Robert “Pee-Do Bear” Kelly. SWISH! Now THAT is humor for your ass! Man, 2008 may have sucked on the life front but on the humor front I wrecked this year like John Edwards did his own home. OOOOHHHH, SNAP! Man….I am on a roll.

Well, that is all for now. Be back Friday as tomorrow and Thursday I am in D-Town for most of the day. Trying to avoid working somewhere that I will snap and kill all around me but thems the breaks. Just know on Monday if you hear about someone snapping and taking a wooden replica of Sephiroth’s manasume to people’s dome pieces….Tivo that shit because it is gonna be PRICELESS! Peace out, ya’ll!

Chachi Out

Hippies: Fucking Up My Highway Driving Since 2002

What is up, people?! It has been about a week and a half (Since before NDK, I believe) since I have done a real post but life has taken a crap on me over the last 30 days or so but things are finally up and moving the way I want them. Well, as good as the fucking can be but sometimes you gotta pull a Steve Winwood and roll with it, baby. However, there are some things that have pissed me off since the last time I got pissed off and ranted so it is about that time. There are some things that are really pissing me off as of late and you know what? People need to FUCKING DIE. People in Prius….Priuses….Priusi…whatever the fuck they are called need to do all of these things:

1. Get A Real Fucking Car: I don’t give a flying fuck about the environment you hippie shit. Your battery isn’t biodegradable and the cost of upkeeping your car is more than getting a normal Honda Accord or Nissan Sentra. The fact your shitty ass vehicle can’t go over 55 miles per hour is a sign that you don’t have a fucking car. Congratulations, you have a motherfucking Power Wheel:

At least they had GI Joe jeep Power Wheels. Hell of a lot cooler than your piece of shit Tonka ride.
2. Lay Off The Fucking Bumper Stickers: First off, you are wasting paper and adhesive and destroying the planet. Smooth move, shit face. Secondly, as a sort-of-kind-of-hate-Republicans-and-thair-gun-toting-Black-people-hating-redneck-asses Liberal (Ugh…..I hate being one but man, Conservatives can eat a dick. Most do because they are closet homosexicals but still) I get really tired of your shitty bumper stickers about “Make Love Not War!” and “Give Peace A Chance!” I want you to understand one thing: the 60’s died at Altamont in 1969 and when hippes tried to make a comeback in the 70’s they had to go all Kent State on their asses….at Kent State. Too soon? Naaaaah. In other words, being a hippie sucked then and it sucked now. Being an activist doesn’t mean getting high, not bathing and talking about how material goods are a tool of the patriarchal government while you sit in your STYLISH NEW ECO-CAR. Hypocritical fuckwits.
3. Get Turbo: It’s Eco-Friendly AND keeps me from running you off the fucking road. Seriously, how does YOU stopping ME from getting somewhere at 80mph save the fucking planet? You may save gas on your end but you will have me breaking my foot off in your ASS on this end if you don’t get the fuck out of my way. I have no idea if the car just goes that slow or your pretentious attitude about you saving this hellhole of a planet makes you drive slow to sustain your ego and let everyone see what a attention-whore you are but either way you need to get the fuck out of the road. Get on the sidewalk or put a fan on the back of that bitch.

If you are reading this and you drive a Prius then FUCK YOU. Fuck your car and FUCK YO COUCH!

Love that video. Anyway, I will try to be back up before Friday and stay tuned! This Sunday is the Chachi Music & Video Awards Nominee Special! Well, it SHOULD BE but things on this bad boy that aren’t Douchebrawl are tentative. Until next time, stay up peeps.

Chachi Out.