What is up peeps?! I am back in this biz-natch and ready to drop the knowledge! It has been a minute since I posted (the Countdown last Friday was the last time I was up) and I have totally missed you guys. Oh, and a hello to Roxanne from Jpop n Kpop who should be back from vacation today! Lucky….
As some of you know, I no longer work at The Pack. I knew it was temporary but it was still rather chickenshit how it ended in a way. Eh, live and learn. I start my new job on August 14th (so next week is all goofing off and catching up on anime) barring a positive drug test (It could happen, I can’t be held accountable for all my wheelings and dealings) and I have some other interviews this week and hopefully next. So needless to say, the Chachi is at a crossroads…at twenty-six. Wow, I am like 15 years or so ahead of my mid-life crisis. Well, last weekend was the best movie weekend since last year with both "Snakes On A Plane" and "Accepted" being seen in one weekend. So today I give you a late...
MASTER CHIEF CAPTAIN CHACHI GOES HOLLYWOOD: ULTIMATE WEEKEND EDITION!
This Week: The Simpsons Movie & Hairspray!
So a quick wrap up of last weekend. For those of you that have not seen The Simpsons Movie…go see it! It is that damn funny. They got the original writers back so gone is the “meh” humor of the last six seasons or so and back is the side-splitting hilarity of the seasons of our youth. The movie was funny the whole way through and in an odd (but good) move, they focused only on the Simpsons family (and the Flanders’s’s’s) which left out a lot of characters plot-wise. I would have liked to have seen more Ralph Wiggum and Groundskeeper Willy, but it was better that way.
The only bad thing about The Simpsons Movie is that it moved a tad bit too fast. An extra ten minutes would have been great (Kind of like the first Spiderman. You waited so long for the movie that even if it was a bit long you could accept that. Superman Returns went WAAAAAY too far with that assumption) but like I said, that is nitpicking. This is the second funniest movie of the year (The irreverence of ATHFCMFFT cannot and will not be topped) and fan or not, you will enjoy yourself. If you are one of the five people that have NOT seen or do NOT like the show, much like the humor in ATHFCMFFT, you will not like this movie. But I did, so bite me. My blog, my rules. I DID have to dock a half a point for the nudity, but that won’t ruin it. I give “The Simpsons Movie”…
9.5 Out Of 10 Stars!!
(A funny ride for fans of the movie, a heap of “what the hell is going on” for those that aren’t. The plot moves quickly so you better not blink, but once again that is in the vein of the show so it was to be expected. Trust me, you will enjoy yourself.)
Next we have “Hairspray”. I don’t care, I like musicals. I have been excited for this movie for a long time, as I love the musical and had a few songs on my iPod for a while. The simple fact about this movie is that it is the HOTTEST MOVIE IN THE HISTORY OF CINEMA!! First, we have the hottest bishie of 2007 in Zac Efron:
Can you say D-R-E-A-M-Y? Secondly was James Marsden who proved that Hugh Jackman isn’t the only X-Man that can cut a rug!
Cyclops? More like DANCE-CLOPS! Okay, that wasn’t fucking funny. You get the idea. Combine that with the fine, Fine, FINE ASS Amanda Bynes (My god…to be the roast beef in an Amanda Bynes/Zac Efron sandwich. Now THAT is what’s for dinner!), a dance number with Christopher Walken (W00T! The Walken singing and dancing!), Queen Latifah not pissing me the hell off and John Travolta FINALLY embracing the transvestite inside and we have….the best movie of the year so far. I said it. Maybe even better than “300”. I mean the hotness factor is about even because put Efron and Marsden in loin cloths and give them spears and they can protect my borders ANYTIME. Whooo, sexual innuendo!
Now this only problem I could find with this movie is that is isn’t for everyone. Musicals are not everyone’s cup-o-tea so much like “The Producers” (WHICH ROCKED) people with not want to see it because it includes singing and dancing. Even still, if you are going to let that keep you from seeing three legitimate Oscar worthy performances (Nikki Blonsky as Tracy Turnblat as Best Actress, Zac Efron as a Supporting Actor and Michelle Phiffer as Supporting Actress. Hell, Travolta and Latifah were great as well and the Walken was the Walken) and the best dance sequence since “Ferris Beuller’s Day Off”:
Then you are going to miss out. I guess I have to go the full monty for the best movie season I can remember…
10 Out of 10 Stars!
(Hell, seeing cutie Zac Efron in a suit was enough for me. Add in a great soundtrack, awesome dance numbers and surprisingly exceptional performances and you have arguably the best movie of 2007. Once again, musicals aren’t everyone’s bag so if you aren’t a fan this could help change that. Great movie. I wish it was Negro Day EVERYDAY! Priceless.)
Okay, since I have a two week break, I have been just kind of hanging out and watching movies. One movie I could never find here was “Jesus Camp”. Mainly because Colorado Springs LOVES the Jebus and does NOT want a film that shows batshit crazy Evangelicals as being…well, batshit crazy:
This documentary was a tad on the special end. By special I mean fucking nuts. I have said it many times I am not anti-religion, I am anti-conversion. The consensus thought is that we as people will FIND God, not God will have his followers scare or insult us into following him/her/it. These people are going about it the wrong way. What I am about to say will blow your fucking mind. I said this in an interview once and I honestly believe that it cost me the job to one person (and actually ended up GETTING me the job from the other). When asked “How would you get your reps to work for you?” I responded:
Well, as a manager of people my reps don’t work for me. I work for THEM. I work for them by making sure they can be the best employees they can be by giving them direction, leadership and in some cases making sure they follow the set rules. I believe that by working for them the best I can they will in turn work for me by doing the best job possible on their end.”
One person LOVED the answer (She hired me) and the other person HATED the answer (He actually left in a fricking huff, it was hilarious). Now because I am a fucktard I took the job at HP instead but that always stuck with me. That line is in essence one of the reasons that I am so against religious people.
I should not have to spread the word of God. God is like crack, you don’t have to sell God because the belief sells. All God should have to do is be their to guide people in their life via anecdotes and common sense. Not forced upon us with fear and coercion. Watching “Jesus Camp” the fact that these people believe that Bush was “chosen” by God and that Creationism should be near ANYONE in any way shape or form shows that it’s not the word; the problem lies in the follower.
Religion belongs in the church. Maybe the home. Let me correct that: YOUR HOME. Religion should not be in places where masses gather (schools, government buildings, sporting events, the mall, etc.) because not everyone is YOUR RELIGION. That goes for all of you. Christians (All 736 denominations of you including Mormons and Catholics. You all follow a crappy remake of an awesome book, like following the remake of Godzilla over the original), Muslims (Don’t blow people up because we don’t believe what you do. It’s fucking petty and fucks up property values), Jews and anyone else that feels the need to push your religion on people and try to make you nation a religious nation. I have never once been harassed by a Buddhist or a Daoist and been told I’m going to Hell because I won’t take their poorly printed flyer. I am SURE God can afford a plotter or at LEAST a high end Epson printer. I’m just saying.
Long story short, people like the Evangelicals in “Jesus Camp” are why people fight so hard AGAINST religion. If you let people find God on their own they will be less likely to resist because they don’t feel forced. Religion is not about blind belief, it is about suspended faith. You follow the stories of the Bible because they are good as anecdotes; ways to life you life. You don’t BLIEVE the Bible because you are scared to go to Hell if you don’t. The stories don’t make sense and they contradict at every turn if you look at it logically. If you look at it as what it is; a poorly constructed book of short stories you can pull out of it good ways to live. Just living righteously as the Bible SAYS should be enough to get into “heaven” for God. If it isn’t, then maybe it aint worth going to heaven. Just a thought.
Yeah, the Deuce is back. No update tomorrow as I will be busy all fricking day but hopefully some good should come out of it. Also, be sure to check out Teqnyc’s album release party at Sodo’s on S. Tejon on Friday! I will be there and hopefully niggas won’t wild out. I really cannot afford to be shot right now, things are looking up. Stay up, Countdown on Friday and the Borne Ultimatum on Saturday!
Chachi Out.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Friday, July 27, 2007
Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow. Except For Right Now. Kiss My ASS, PACK!
What is up, peeps?! It’s Friday and it is officially my last day at the Pack, so in a way I am muy trieste. However, I have a job offer (granted I pass the sure to be failed drug test) and had two interviews for jobs so things arent too bad. Besides, you know what its time for!
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We begin with a new video from a Countdown legend!
20. UVERworld - Shaka Beach~Laka Laka La~ (New Entry)
IT IS ABOUT FRICKING TIME!! UVERworld is back with a new single and video! Now I know they had “Endscape” out but I really wasn’t a fan of it. This is getting back up to the levels of “Shamrock” in terms of quality. Welcome back!
19. Orange Range – Ika Summer (Last Week #16)
So I just got “Orange” and “Range” which is their dual disc greatest hits collection and I must say I enjoyed what I heard so far. The FIRST TIME, but still. This was a kick ass summer tune, but with August comes the end of summer and looks to be the end of their run.
18. FLOW - Answer (Last Week #20)
I am pretty sure the peeps aren’t excited but I am really looking forward to a new FLOW album sometime soon. You know, Naruto: Shippuuden is in need of a new theme in six or seven episodes, could they have their THIRD opening theme for Naruto? Not going to lie, that would kick ass (with the show doing the exact opposite).
17. Daddy Yankee feat. Fergie – Impacto (Last Week #14)
Looks like the only “Impacto” that Daddy Yankee is making is the impact of his video falling three places. Here is hoping for a new video soon, I always kind of liked Daddy Yankee.
16. John Legend – Stereo (Last Week #19)
Another day, another John Legend video on the Countdown. You know, he is officially the Countdown King. I said it. Yui and Nelly Furtado are battling it out for the title of Queen, but John Legend has this on LOCKDOWN. This song is summer madness (Will Smith, fools!) and the video is cool to boot. Good year for the Legend.
15. Gym Class Heroes – Clothes Off (Last Week #17)
Yeah, you know it. This song is officially the ringtone (Once I figure out how to SEND THEM!). I also just realized that Gym Class Heroes were in “Snakes on a Plane”! Or at least the music video at the end of the movie. Man, that movie kicked so much as. Screw America for not seeing it.
14. Maroon 5 – Makes Me Wonder (Last Week #11, Three weeks at #1)
The former Countdown champs fall three more spots this week. I just got word that a new video is coming soon, and once it comes you will be the first to know. I still like this video and I still would pay out the ASS for a Duran Duran/Maroon 5 show.
13. Kanye West feat. Daft Punk – Stronger (Last Week #17)
Okay, I know a lot of people don’t like Kanye. Well, I am kind of in that boat and kind of not. I like him about 80% of the time. That last 20% makes me want to fucking kill him. I mean seriously he angers the hell out of me sometimes. Other times, he is my favorite rapper. It is quite the conundrum.
12. Abingdon Boys School – Howling (Last Week #9, One week at #1)
The rockingest song of 2007 finally falls out of the Top 10 for the first time since April. Although TM isn’t a new artist, I am considering nominating Abingdon Boys School for the Chachi Award for Best New Artist. Any arguments? Didn’t think so.
11. AI – Brand New Day (Last Week # 13)
Wow, I just got this single (The non-PV rip) and I must say this song is better studio style. The video moves up right outside the Top 10 this week and rightfully so. It is a fun summer video and a great summertime jam. Can AI get her second Top 10? We’ll see!
10. Abingdon Boys School – Nephilim (Last Week #12)
Well look who it is! The second video from Abingdon Boys School’s upcoming album has given them their second Top 10 video. This song is great for an AMV for the upcoming Nan Desu Kan but I don’t have the mad AMV skills. Even still, good stuff.
9. T.I. – Big Things Poppin’ (Last Week #5)
After a week in the Top 5, T.I. falls four big spots this week. He has a new video coming soon (Not “You Know What It Is”) so I am looking forward to that. Hopefully, it will be a little more inspired because the first two videos didn’t match the awesomeness of “Bring Em Out” or “What You Know”.
8. Hearts Grow - Mimawari (Last Week #10)
Yay! I officially am in love with this song. I get the looks when I have the song playing with the windows down and even WEIRDER looks when I watch the video at work. I don’t care, this song is good old fashioned j-pop goodness.
7. Gackt – RETURNER ~Yami no Shuuen~ (Last Week #8)
If there were a question of how hot is too hot…Gackt would be that answer. This video moves up a spot this week and the heat is burning up the rest of the videos. I need this hard drive, dude!
6. Common – The People (Last Week #7)
Common moves up another spot this week, holding it down for hip hop in the Top 10. So I got “Finding Forever” and here is the update: it is not as good as “Be”. Keep in mind that “Be” was the best album of 2005 so it is hard to match that. Even though it is a drop-off, it is still one of the best full albums of the year. If you like hip hop, give it a whirl.
5. Foxxi MisQ feat Zeebra – Luxury Ride (Last Week #3)
Oh no! After two weeks at #3 (Yui will do that to you) Foxxi MisQ falls two spots! Can I just say that Dem is hot? Did I say that this week? Because if I didn’t…she’s hot. I am talking by the fire hot. Hells yeah.
4. Foxxi MisQ feat. Miss Monday – Party Booty Shake (Last Week #6)
Yay! Foxxi MisQ joins UVERworld as the only artist to have two videos in the Top 5! I am liking this video a lot more than “Luxury Ride” solely for the reason that…well Dem looks hot. Sue me, I likes what I likes. And I likes me some Dem. Scantily clad j-urban groups do this to me.
3. Yui – My Generation (Last Week #2) [Four Weeks at #2]
After a full month at #2, Yui falls to #3 this week. If this holds, she will not tie John Legend with three consecutive #1 videos. That has nothing to do with the quality of “My Generation”. Any other time, this video is #1 hands down but there are two bigger videos this week. Great run so far, though!
2. L`Arc~en~Ciel – Seventh Heaven (Last Week #4)
You better believe it! The Aerosmith of J-Rock is one step away from taking their first #1 video! I just heard their second single (It is a radio rip so the quality is “meh”) and needless to say I am rather impressed. I have been a fan of L’Arc~en~Ciel for about 10 years (give or take) and this spot is well deserved because they rawk and this video rules! However, they still cant dethrone the champ…
1. UGK feat. Outkast – International Players Anthem (Last Week #1, Four weeks at #1)
UGK and Outkast don’t slip! They fight off Yui and hold on to the #1 spot for a full month! That ties them with nobodyknows+ (Heroes Come Back!) and John Legend (P.D.A.“We Just Don’t Care”) for the longest reign of 2007! That is quite an accomplishment, as it is also the first hip hop video at #1 since “Top Back Remix” by T.I. in February. Been quite a run, guys! Hells yeah!
That is all for this Friday. Tune in next week to see if UGK can do what nobodyknows+ and John Legend could not and make it a FIFTH week at #1! Or can Hyde and the boys finally get their well deserved #1 spot? Or can Yui be the first aside from….UVERworld to pull and UVERworld and take over the Top Spot? See you here next Friday! I am off to see “The Simpson’s Movie”!
Chachi Out.
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We begin with a new video from a Countdown legend!
20. UVERworld - Shaka Beach~Laka Laka La~ (New Entry)
IT IS ABOUT FRICKING TIME!! UVERworld is back with a new single and video! Now I know they had “Endscape” out but I really wasn’t a fan of it. This is getting back up to the levels of “Shamrock” in terms of quality. Welcome back!
19. Orange Range – Ika Summer (Last Week #16)
So I just got “Orange” and “Range” which is their dual disc greatest hits collection and I must say I enjoyed what I heard so far. The FIRST TIME, but still. This was a kick ass summer tune, but with August comes the end of summer and looks to be the end of their run.
18. FLOW - Answer (Last Week #20)
I am pretty sure the peeps aren’t excited but I am really looking forward to a new FLOW album sometime soon. You know, Naruto: Shippuuden is in need of a new theme in six or seven episodes, could they have their THIRD opening theme for Naruto? Not going to lie, that would kick ass (with the show doing the exact opposite).
17. Daddy Yankee feat. Fergie – Impacto (Last Week #14)
Looks like the only “Impacto” that Daddy Yankee is making is the impact of his video falling three places. Here is hoping for a new video soon, I always kind of liked Daddy Yankee.
16. John Legend – Stereo (Last Week #19)
Another day, another John Legend video on the Countdown. You know, he is officially the Countdown King. I said it. Yui and Nelly Furtado are battling it out for the title of Queen, but John Legend has this on LOCKDOWN. This song is summer madness (Will Smith, fools!) and the video is cool to boot. Good year for the Legend.
15. Gym Class Heroes – Clothes Off (Last Week #17)
Yeah, you know it. This song is officially the ringtone (Once I figure out how to SEND THEM!). I also just realized that Gym Class Heroes were in “Snakes on a Plane”! Or at least the music video at the end of the movie. Man, that movie kicked so much as. Screw America for not seeing it.
14. Maroon 5 – Makes Me Wonder (Last Week #11, Three weeks at #1)
The former Countdown champs fall three more spots this week. I just got word that a new video is coming soon, and once it comes you will be the first to know. I still like this video and I still would pay out the ASS for a Duran Duran/Maroon 5 show.
13. Kanye West feat. Daft Punk – Stronger (Last Week #17)
Okay, I know a lot of people don’t like Kanye. Well, I am kind of in that boat and kind of not. I like him about 80% of the time. That last 20% makes me want to fucking kill him. I mean seriously he angers the hell out of me sometimes. Other times, he is my favorite rapper. It is quite the conundrum.
12. Abingdon Boys School – Howling (Last Week #9, One week at #1)
The rockingest song of 2007 finally falls out of the Top 10 for the first time since April. Although TM isn’t a new artist, I am considering nominating Abingdon Boys School for the Chachi Award for Best New Artist. Any arguments? Didn’t think so.
11. AI – Brand New Day (Last Week # 13)
Wow, I just got this single (The non-PV rip) and I must say this song is better studio style. The video moves up right outside the Top 10 this week and rightfully so. It is a fun summer video and a great summertime jam. Can AI get her second Top 10? We’ll see!
10. Abingdon Boys School – Nephilim (Last Week #12)
Well look who it is! The second video from Abingdon Boys School’s upcoming album has given them their second Top 10 video. This song is great for an AMV for the upcoming Nan Desu Kan but I don’t have the mad AMV skills. Even still, good stuff.
9. T.I. – Big Things Poppin’ (Last Week #5)
After a week in the Top 5, T.I. falls four big spots this week. He has a new video coming soon (Not “You Know What It Is”) so I am looking forward to that. Hopefully, it will be a little more inspired because the first two videos didn’t match the awesomeness of “Bring Em Out” or “What You Know”.
8. Hearts Grow - Mimawari (Last Week #10)
Yay! I officially am in love with this song. I get the looks when I have the song playing with the windows down and even WEIRDER looks when I watch the video at work. I don’t care, this song is good old fashioned j-pop goodness.
7. Gackt – RETURNER ~Yami no Shuuen~ (Last Week #8)
If there were a question of how hot is too hot…Gackt would be that answer. This video moves up a spot this week and the heat is burning up the rest of the videos. I need this hard drive, dude!
6. Common – The People (Last Week #7)
Common moves up another spot this week, holding it down for hip hop in the Top 10. So I got “Finding Forever” and here is the update: it is not as good as “Be”. Keep in mind that “Be” was the best album of 2005 so it is hard to match that. Even though it is a drop-off, it is still one of the best full albums of the year. If you like hip hop, give it a whirl.
5. Foxxi MisQ feat Zeebra – Luxury Ride (Last Week #3)
Oh no! After two weeks at #3 (Yui will do that to you) Foxxi MisQ falls two spots! Can I just say that Dem is hot? Did I say that this week? Because if I didn’t…she’s hot. I am talking by the fire hot. Hells yeah.
4. Foxxi MisQ feat. Miss Monday – Party Booty Shake (Last Week #6)
Yay! Foxxi MisQ joins UVERworld as the only artist to have two videos in the Top 5! I am liking this video a lot more than “Luxury Ride” solely for the reason that…well Dem looks hot. Sue me, I likes what I likes. And I likes me some Dem. Scantily clad j-urban groups do this to me.
3. Yui – My Generation (Last Week #2) [Four Weeks at #2]
After a full month at #2, Yui falls to #3 this week. If this holds, she will not tie John Legend with three consecutive #1 videos. That has nothing to do with the quality of “My Generation”. Any other time, this video is #1 hands down but there are two bigger videos this week. Great run so far, though!
2. L`Arc~en~Ciel – Seventh Heaven (Last Week #4)
You better believe it! The Aerosmith of J-Rock is one step away from taking their first #1 video! I just heard their second single (It is a radio rip so the quality is “meh”) and needless to say I am rather impressed. I have been a fan of L’Arc~en~Ciel for about 10 years (give or take) and this spot is well deserved because they rawk and this video rules! However, they still cant dethrone the champ…
1. UGK feat. Outkast – International Players Anthem (Last Week #1, Four weeks at #1)
UGK and Outkast don’t slip! They fight off Yui and hold on to the #1 spot for a full month! That ties them with nobodyknows+ (Heroes Come Back!) and John Legend (P.D.A.“We Just Don’t Care”) for the longest reign of 2007! That is quite an accomplishment, as it is also the first hip hop video at #1 since “Top Back Remix” by T.I. in February. Been quite a run, guys! Hells yeah!
That is all for this Friday. Tune in next week to see if UGK can do what nobodyknows+ and John Legend could not and make it a FIFTH week at #1! Or can Hyde and the boys finally get their well deserved #1 spot? Or can Yui be the first aside from….UVERworld to pull and UVERworld and take over the Top Spot? See you here next Friday! I am off to see “The Simpson’s Movie”!
Chachi Out.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Are You Ready For Some Football Bullshit?!
FUCK THE BCS!!
So after finishing 13-0 and winning the Big 12 Championship Game 38-24 over #5 Texas…I finish #3 in the BCS. Behind MICHIGAN (FUCKING MICHIGAN!) and UCLA who are both 13-0 granted but they DID NOT play the schedule I did!
This is MY Schedule (Ranking are the Final Coaches Top 25 Polls):
Colorado State 59-14 (6-5)
@ #23 Ohio State 40-7 (8-4)
Florida State 34-31 OT (7-6)
#13 Oklahoma 33-7 (9-3)
@ Baylor 82-21 (3-8)
@ Kansas State 29-10 (6-5)
Kansas 48-0 (4-8)
@ Texas Tech 65-17 (4-8)
Missouri 62-34 (8-4)
@ Iowa State 45-21 (4-8)
Navy 48-27 (8-4)
#8 Nebraska 39-25 (10-2)
#9 Texas 38-24 (11-2)
First off, unlike Michigan I didn’t play teams without a fucking name (FCS Southwest? What the fuck, at least I played a god damn service academy!) and I CRUSHED Ohio State AT HOME which doesn’t happen unless you are Wisconsin (which I don’t get but hey, who am I to judge). As for shitty ass UCLA…
UCLA?!
First off, I could have beat Notre Dame. I could have beaten UTAH. Instead I played REAL SCHOOLS. Fucking pussies. Hell, even HAWAII got an at-large bid. HA-FUCKING-WHY-EE?! This game is bullshit. Don’t even get me STARTED on the underthrown passes and the offensive linemen that phase through defensive tackles. So now, instead of playing for a National Championship in the climate controlled Superdome (they fixed it) I have to go to fucking hot ass Arizona for the Fiesta Bowl against USC. Yeah, that’s fair.
Eat my ass, BCS. Eat it good.
So after finishing 13-0 and winning the Big 12 Championship Game 38-24 over #5 Texas…I finish #3 in the BCS. Behind MICHIGAN (FUCKING MICHIGAN!) and UCLA who are both 13-0 granted but they DID NOT play the schedule I did!
This is MY Schedule (Ranking are the Final Coaches Top 25 Polls):
Colorado State 59-14 (6-5)
@ #23 Ohio State 40-7 (8-4)
Florida State 34-31 OT (7-6)
#13 Oklahoma 33-7 (9-3)
@ Baylor 82-21 (3-8)
@ Kansas State 29-10 (6-5)
Kansas 48-0 (4-8)
@ Texas Tech 65-17 (4-8)
Missouri 62-34 (8-4)
@ Iowa State 45-21 (4-8)
Navy 48-27 (8-4)
#8 Nebraska 39-25 (10-2)
#9 Texas 38-24 (11-2)
First off, unlike Michigan I didn’t play teams without a fucking name (FCS Southwest? What the fuck, at least I played a god damn service academy!) and I CRUSHED Ohio State AT HOME which doesn’t happen unless you are Wisconsin (which I don’t get but hey, who am I to judge). As for shitty ass UCLA…
UCLA?!
First off, I could have beat Notre Dame. I could have beaten UTAH. Instead I played REAL SCHOOLS. Fucking pussies. Hell, even HAWAII got an at-large bid. HA-FUCKING-WHY-EE?! This game is bullshit. Don’t even get me STARTED on the underthrown passes and the offensive linemen that phase through defensive tackles. So now, instead of playing for a National Championship in the climate controlled Superdome (they fixed it) I have to go to fucking hot ass Arizona for the Fiesta Bowl against USC. Yeah, that’s fair.
Eat my ass, BCS. Eat it good.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Fight The Power! Unless...You Know, He's Bigger Than You. Then You Negotiate.
It's times like this that I wonder why in the hell news outlets exist:
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/07/24/tsa.incidents/index.html
Listen, I couldn’t give a flying fuck about national security because if we cant stop a bunch of undersexed, highly irritable, suicide obsessed, misguided fanatics (not Muslims, FAN-AT-TICKS) from running planes into building then maybe we aren’t as advanced as of a country as we thought. Israel has had terrorism for years, not ONE KNOCKED DOWN BUILDING. We have had three (although one was kind of done by a crazy WHITE GUY, which is TOTALLY different than a crazy Moroccan and Saudi Arabian).
I am so sick of people trying to make me scared of every-fucking-thing because terrorists could strike at any moment. If you believe that then you are a fucking moron. Two attacks in 230+ years isn’t a bad average, quit being such pussies. Quit being such naïve fuckers acting like it can’t happen here because it can and it will because you can’t stop crazy and for the most part…TERRORISTS ARE CRAZY! Living in a culture of fear and blowing up everything at the first sign of an Arab isn’t going to fix JACK SHIT. Be fucking smart, not paranoid. There is a definite difference.
Now I have been called Un-American because of my non-hatred (Which to r-tards equals support) for Muslims (Well, not as much support for Muslims as much as a distain for fucktards) during this time where we all must have a UNIFIED FRONT OF HATE AND STUPIDITY (Trademark pending)! I don’t hate people for one a few do; I take it up with the individuals. Getting pissed off at a whole group of people because of something a few do isn’t patriotism, its prejudiced and overall stupid. I know I rail on the Jews but at the end of the day, they killed Jesus. Name one thing more hardcore than letting the “son of God” (BULLLLSHIIIIIIIIIIIT!) get nailed like Ashlynn Brooke (She’s hot for a blond, I must say) and truly not giving a flying fuck? I am saying it now: Jews rule. I mean I SAY “fuck Jesus” like Jim Jones says “BALLIN!” but they MEAN that shit. They feel about Jesus like I feel about Rich Boy: Meh.
Back to the point, people need to get off of this whole “Culture of Fear” bullshit. If you leave the house and you are afraid of terrorists then you are the biggest fucking idiot ever. I mean EVER. I am more scared of Blacks, taxes, rednecks, jailbait (DAMN YOU, HAYDEN!), piss-poor drivers and bros than I am of some non-masturbating, eternally bitter fanatic. I think its funny how that when Muslims “kill for their religion” its insanity but when Christians do it, it’s “righteous”. So unless you are:
- Buddhist (Solely because Buddha was cool when I left the group in 1999. He understood I had solo dreams)
- Taoist (Big ups to Chairman Tao! I kid, I kid)
- Atheist (Now this one was difficult because some fucktards believe that Taoists and Buddhists are atheists because the believe in a personal savior rather than a deity. In the end, anyone that gives the finger to organized religion is okay by me.)
- Jewish (They may be crazy bastards like the rest, but at least they were the FIRST crazy bastards.)
Shut the fuck up! Keep Jesus out of my politics and keep 9/11 out of my election. Get over it, it was going to happen at some point because that’s what happens when you fuck with crazy people. They do crazy shit, you saw “What’s Love Got To Do With It”.
Now onto something else that has been bugging me for minute. I watched some of the Republican debates on Fox News because I hate myself and I am totally a fan of Ron Paul now. Mainly because he smacked down Rudy Giuliani using our own intelligence:
But once again, Americans have 9/11 up their ass so because he isn’t down for the war he is against the troops.
Okay, everyone knows my stance: I am against the war AND against the troops because if Army, Navy and Air Force can’t beat Notre Dame how can they beat Al Qaeda? They run a spread option; you know how hard it is to stop that shit?! Ask Ohio State and Oklahoma! I am NOT going to explain that joke, watch some college football. In all seriousness, I do not support the war (not like it fucking matters) and I will voice my disapproval since I have no say in whether or not we send troops to conflict. Going to war with Iraq was pointless because:
1. Bigger threats to deal with. Well, not necessarily BIGGER as to say imminent. Iran and North Korea are and were more threatening than Iraq. Hell, Venezuela was more of a threat!
2. That region sucks. Fuck the Middle East. There, I said it. Israel needs to just fucking move out. It’s like the family that refuses to leave because the neighborhood has gone downhill and the property value has dropped. Sometimes it’s best to chalk it up as a loss and charge it to the game. We are not a religious nation (Despite what Jerry Falwell and others would say), but the Middle East is a religious region. We should NOT EVER get involved…period.
3. Terrorism happens. Hell, 9/11 wasn’t the first attack on American soil. It was the first of most massive destruction but that is what five years of planning will do for you. It has been going on in countries as long as I can remember and being overseas for my childhood and early teens I heard about attacks everyday. People say that isn’t a good view, but it is logical. If someone hates you, they will get to you. And why do they hate us? Reason four…
4. Do Unto Others and Blah Blah Blah. Think of it like this: if Canada started building Air Force bases in Jefferson County, Missouri would Mormons be pissed? If France just decided to build an Army facility (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…whooooo) right next to The Vatican, you think the Catholics would take two seconds to stop sodomizing young boys to consult the scrolls and get all indignant? The answer is yes. Religion makes people stupid, flat out. So the United States building military installations on THEIR holy land is how different? It is just as stupid in my opinion but if you don’t respect others religious beliefs you can’t get upset when they get all pissy right back. And to you moronic shits that say that 9/11 isn’t justification for a few military bases: no shit. They are crazy, and that’s how crazy rolls.
Add in the fact that there is no (sensible, anyway) link to Al Queda in Iraq previous to the invasion, no weapons of mass destruction (the reason we went in the first place) and no real…PLAN TO WIN THIS THING and I would say that the US and A is in quite the dilly of a pickle.
Oh, and to people pissed about people voting for Bush against Kerry in 2004 you must realize one thing. It wasn’t about the worthlessness of Kerry or the popularity (RIGHT) of Bush. It was about the feeling of Americans deep down that we are all bitches. I will say this one last mother-fucking time:
“With great power comes great responsibility”
Name ONE PRESIDENT in the last…60 years or so that has really believed that? Lil Bush fuck-faced the Constitution, Clinton face-fucked interns, Bush face-fucked world politics and Reagan face-fucked…everyone that wasn’t White. Fuck Reagan. Oh, and Carter was face-fucked by a bunny. It all breaks down with the fact that we as Americans don’t want the power OR responsibility of deciding what to do so we leave it into the hands of our elected officials. Well, not like a representative democracy gives us much of a CHOICE but you get the idea. We have the power to voice our opinions and not be shot at (unless you went to Kent State but that was hippies so…I’ll allow it) but at the same time…no one ever says anything of value? Is Fox News really helping by slanting everything to the right? Are CNN and every shitty celebrity helping by slanting everything to the left? Is MSNBC helping by…sucking? NO. The more you think for yourself, the more you realize that the news isn’t shaping your views but since Americans are lazy and stupid (I will admit to lazy, but I didn’t go through three years of grade school to be called stupid) they base what they believe off of fake news and fake texts. Like…Fox News and the Bible? CNN and the Necronomicon? The Daily Show and Mad Magazine?
I have noticed that as I have begun to analyze candidates and issues based on how I feel rather than what I see on TV (since high school-ish timeframe) I have realized that I despise a two party system. People say it isn’t, but logic cannot be denied:
1. Americans are People.
2. People are stupid. 3. Stupid people are easily swayed.
4. Easily swayed people watch Cable TV.
5. Cable TV has all the news channels.
6. All news channels have agendas.
7. Agendas equal propaganda to push there message.
8. Propaganda is used to persuade the stupid.
9. People are stupid.
10. Americans are people.
11. Americans are stupid.
If all is true, I guess Americans are persuaded by Cable TV propaganda because they are stupid.
Now, if the above is true and those news channels are pushing their agenda they need to only have one enemy. Mainly because they only can give “news” in 22 minute blocks broken up by 2 minute commercial intervals because Americans can’t focus on anything for more that 7 minutes at a time not called Halo. They do that by finding the party that the most people align themselves with and shoving it as far down our throats they can without killing us. Every vote counts, especially since so few of you FUCKING VOTE. So why are we a two party system?
People sacrifice some of their issues and vote for the lesser evil. People sacrifice free-thought to be a Conservative (Yeah, keep your shitty Jesus out of my election. Thaaaaaanks). They sacrifice common sense to be a liberal (The government caused 9/11? Our government can’t make kill Fidel Castro and that dude is almost dead by natural causes). We all sacrifice our civil liberties for the illusion of national safety. We are asked to give up our right to speak out against the war with the threat of being against the troops. I don’t believe in sacrifice when it comes to rights. My family didn’t get all those ass-whoopins and hoses for me to not vote for the candidate that fits me most.
This isn’t one of those call-to-actions that I do every now and then. I really just want people to not watch cable TV. First off, unless it is Adult Swim or Comedy Central it sucks. Second off, it is all rather slanted so you don’t learn anything. It’s like trying to learn to drive by playing “Mario Kart”. I mean you CAN do that, but is it the best route to go about it if you want to not get pulled over or hit with a shell? The internet has MORE options, albeit slanted. All I ask of you is to get yo’ learn on. Figure out a candidate that fits what you believe are the key aspects of a president and will address the issues that you feel are pressing. And for those that say “what this president does and says doesn’t effect my world” will remember that when you taxes are 52%, gas is $5.03 a gallon, all work has been outsourced to Costa Rica and the Chinese have Army bases in Castle Rock. That kind of thinking is what a-holes prey on. Don’t forget:
“Indifference is more damaging than ignorance because being indifferent feeds the ability for people to remain that way.”
I will be back to the funny rants and stuff next time. Stay up, peeps.
Chachi Out.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Bro-ing Out In CSP.
I’m back, fishes! Pretty good weekend on this end. Had to spend a little extra with the modem for the Internet and paying extra on bills just in case shit hits the fan and I have to go back to pimping teen prostitutes to make ends meet. I really don’t want to go upside a bitches’ head…but I will to feed my manga habit.
So on Friday, Zach and I went to Blondies (FUCK! Wasn’t I boycotting them?!) and I did what I do best: people watch and have the ladies avoid me. Yeah, it’s a skill. The part that sucked about the evening was the “Bro-Bomb” that exploded downtown. You know, as much as I despise Bros (right above Thugs, Dumb Women and Rednecks) they are the most hilarious and interesting to observe. Using my non-verbal communication skills and my uber-awesome sense of what is lame I was able to come to a conclusion that may change the power structure of men and women (or at least Bros and other Bros) as we know it. Peeps, after extensive monitoring and research I have found that…
Bros Are The New Chick.
I know you think I am crazy, as did Zach when I told him. Really put everything about Bros into perspective. When you hash it all out, they are totally the lesser species.
FACT: Bros Reek Of Non-Conformist Conformity
Much like women, Bros require Non-Conformist Conformity. Contradiction if terms, you say? Well, look at Bros. They all dress and look the same. Polo shirt with the collar flipped up, vintage (un-ironed) shorts, sandals and an AE hat turned backward for street cred. Prove me wrong. Oh, sometimes they go for the business look and wear some khakis…with the same sandals. They have stores specifically targeted toward them and they are mass marketed (American Eagle, Abercrombie & Fitch, Old Navy…and like eight or so others) which is the epitome of Non-Conformist Conformity. What is Individual Conformity? It’s when people believe they are being individuals by embracing and following the norm. What is more individualistic than being just like everyone else? Hell, Bros are more Non-Conformist Conformists than EMO KIDS! At least Emo Kids have some cool music; Bro-Tunes SUCK ASS. Simple fact is that all Bros dress, think and act alike even though there are subsets of the Bro-Culture (another post altogether). Oh, and those wondering how women fall into Non-Conformist Conformity…watch the Disney Channel, Bratz, MTV or go to the club. No matter the age, most women need to be different by being just like everyone else. Let that marinate. Keep in mind I’m not saying ALL but if you cannot rationalize that statement odds are you are guilty of it; at some point we all are just Bros more than others.
Fact: Bros Get Touchy When They Are Drunk
This I have seen (and almost been a victim of in college, actually) first hand and I must say it is SCARY! When Bros get drunk, they lose their inhibitions (Just like women and DON’T DARE SAY THAT IS FALSE) and begin to open up their personal space and erogenous boundaries. The problem is, much like women do with men sometimes, it is a same sex party. I witnessed three Bros move women out of the way to dance with another Bro. To MADONNA. I mean if that doesn’t scream gay then I don’t know what the hell does. Bros also touch total strangers (only dudes, though) and say things like “Dude, are we cool?” out of the blue as they gaze at you longingly (no shit, it happened to me at Thirsty Parrot and I was scared). Much like a woman will grab you and with her drunken gaze ask “Am I pretty?” to which I reply “Well, in Buddha’s eyes, we are all pretty” to which I get a confused look that is a Pyrrhic victory for me. Long story short, Bro’s are drunkenly looking to find someone to “Bro Out” with much like chicks are looking for someone to drunkenly “Whore Out” with. Man, I need to write a book.
FACT: Bros Are Attention Whores
Oy…where do I start with this one? When both are drunk:
Women: I AM SO DRUNK RIGHT NOW!
Bros: I AM SO FUCKED UP RIGHT NOW!
See a parallel? Let’s go again. When both are drunk and hear a marginally popular song:
Women: Oh, this is my song! SHAWTY LET ME BUY YO’ DRAAAAAAANK!
Bros: Shaaaaaa, it’s the Doctor! LA-DEE-DA-DEE-DA! IT’S THE MUTHERFUCKIN D-R-E!
Still not convinced? When confronted about their sexual behavior:
Women: Wha-eva! I am NOT A WHORE!
Bros: Fuck you, bro! I am NOT GAY! No homo over here!
You get the idea. Both women and Bros have to be the center of attention at all times. This has been scientifically proven by me on several occasions whether it be the blowing off of women at the club when I am in conversation (Rick and I did that a couple of times at the Giggly Grizzly and The Loft) and them subsequently getting upset or thinking I and whoever I am with are gay. Also note the pole dancing, the kissing of other women but not being gay, and of course the grinding for no reason. Bros are the loudest, most obnoxious A-holes in the building and usually grind up on women or EACH OTHER while making sure that everyone knows that Bro Phi Bro is in the place to be and they go UCCS Uni-Ver-Si-Tee. If women don’t respond they call her a “bitch” or whatever word in their limited vocabulary they can think to call a woman. Sound familiar? They want the attention, but on their own terms. All the power, none of the responsibility. Yeah, circular reasoning; no holes in my logic.
FACT: Bros Are Totally Insecure
Now this was a difficult one to observe since Bros (much like women) are all sound and fury signifying nothing. Women will say that they don’t need no man and they don’t take shit from anyone…yet will be in a relationship with someone even they call worthless. Behind all that ego and false female pride is an insecure woman that sticks with an unwanted situation because she is afraid of being alone. Now Bros are a different animal because in this case they are more like Emo-kids or Goths. I rarely see Bros by themselves at all and when I do their bravado is turned down to zero. Also, I knew Bros in college and when it was just he and I you wouldn’t even know that he was a bro. But get him at the Ritz or Rumbay and he lost his mind because it was all about the Bro-jamins, baby! A friend of mine (Ethan) in my Women’s Studies and Gerontology classes’ Junior year was a dude that you would never know was a “Bro” because he despised other Bros. He even told me one thing that really made me think:
“The fake-ass Bros here are a step below the Emo-kids because at least the Emo-kids have something they stand for, albeit stupid. A real “Bro” doesn’t call himself a “bro” any-damn way. A “Bro” is just someone who is for everyone understanding each other. Like…hell, hippies that bathe. True Bros don’t call themselves “Bro”, they call everyone else Bro because we are all brothers as in family no matter what your race, religion or gender, man.” (Note: He used to get high…a lot. Deep stuff, he was my road dog since Freshman year)
Ethan and I used to get food in the break 2 hour between the Ethnic Studies and Gerontology classes with some females from the morning Women’s Studies class and debate about stuff like this and you know what? We never lost. Because they ALL dated Bros (Even worse they were “G.I. Bros” which are one of the worst of the worst. I’ll have a post on the kinds of Bros at some point for fun) and when asked why they even STATED it was insecurity of leaving them because they fear what is out there. Ethan (who knew Bros, he was like a Bro Obi-Wan in Wisconsin where he transferred from) even explained that Bros are insecure about being seen as “punks” by women so they act like jerkasses and that some were just born A-holes and becoming a obnoxious Bro was just easy. Just like women who gave it up in high school so when they got to college they said “Well, cant get off the Ho-Train now!” God, I’m going to die alone at this rate.
That is that. Bros are the Chicks of 2007. Now don’t go getting all pissy. Not all women constantly display the four aforementioned traits but from what I have observed and have been told to me, these are the consistent attitudes of women and they transfer almost perfectly to Bros. Oh, one last thing: both Bros and women have like a set of three dance moves they live and die by.
Women: The Drop It, The Over The Shoulder Look/Hip Shake and Anything that causes your eyes to look at their chest (Women aren’t innovators on the dance floor. Ask MC Hammer)
Bros: The Roll The Dice, The Sprinkler and the Kid N’ Play Move (The grabbing of one leg and thrusting. I’m going to call it the “Bro Bro Gadget”)
See, this is why I should call myself a Doctor. I have a Bachelors in Communications and a Minor in Women’s Studies and Sociology. Works for Dr. Orpheus:
If you can’t see the humor in that, there is something wrong with you. I’ll be back up at some point this week, probably with a rant not Bros. Unless it’s the Venture Bros. Go Team Venture!
Chachi Out.
So on Friday, Zach and I went to Blondies (FUCK! Wasn’t I boycotting them?!) and I did what I do best: people watch and have the ladies avoid me. Yeah, it’s a skill. The part that sucked about the evening was the “Bro-Bomb” that exploded downtown. You know, as much as I despise Bros (right above Thugs, Dumb Women and Rednecks) they are the most hilarious and interesting to observe. Using my non-verbal communication skills and my uber-awesome sense of what is lame I was able to come to a conclusion that may change the power structure of men and women (or at least Bros and other Bros) as we know it. Peeps, after extensive monitoring and research I have found that…
Bros Are The New Chick.
I know you think I am crazy, as did Zach when I told him. Really put everything about Bros into perspective. When you hash it all out, they are totally the lesser species.
FACT: Bros Reek Of Non-Conformist Conformity
Much like women, Bros require Non-Conformist Conformity. Contradiction if terms, you say? Well, look at Bros. They all dress and look the same. Polo shirt with the collar flipped up, vintage (un-ironed) shorts, sandals and an AE hat turned backward for street cred. Prove me wrong. Oh, sometimes they go for the business look and wear some khakis…with the same sandals. They have stores specifically targeted toward them and they are mass marketed (American Eagle, Abercrombie & Fitch, Old Navy…and like eight or so others) which is the epitome of Non-Conformist Conformity. What is Individual Conformity? It’s when people believe they are being individuals by embracing and following the norm. What is more individualistic than being just like everyone else? Hell, Bros are more Non-Conformist Conformists than EMO KIDS! At least Emo Kids have some cool music; Bro-Tunes SUCK ASS. Simple fact is that all Bros dress, think and act alike even though there are subsets of the Bro-Culture (another post altogether). Oh, and those wondering how women fall into Non-Conformist Conformity…watch the Disney Channel, Bratz, MTV or go to the club. No matter the age, most women need to be different by being just like everyone else. Let that marinate. Keep in mind I’m not saying ALL but if you cannot rationalize that statement odds are you are guilty of it; at some point we all are just Bros more than others.
Fact: Bros Get Touchy When They Are Drunk
This I have seen (and almost been a victim of in college, actually) first hand and I must say it is SCARY! When Bros get drunk, they lose their inhibitions (Just like women and DON’T DARE SAY THAT IS FALSE) and begin to open up their personal space and erogenous boundaries. The problem is, much like women do with men sometimes, it is a same sex party. I witnessed three Bros move women out of the way to dance with another Bro. To MADONNA. I mean if that doesn’t scream gay then I don’t know what the hell does. Bros also touch total strangers (only dudes, though) and say things like “Dude, are we cool?” out of the blue as they gaze at you longingly (no shit, it happened to me at Thirsty Parrot and I was scared). Much like a woman will grab you and with her drunken gaze ask “Am I pretty?” to which I reply “Well, in Buddha’s eyes, we are all pretty” to which I get a confused look that is a Pyrrhic victory for me. Long story short, Bro’s are drunkenly looking to find someone to “Bro Out” with much like chicks are looking for someone to drunkenly “Whore Out” with. Man, I need to write a book.
FACT: Bros Are Attention Whores
Oy…where do I start with this one? When both are drunk:
Women: I AM SO DRUNK RIGHT NOW!
Bros: I AM SO FUCKED UP RIGHT NOW!
See a parallel? Let’s go again. When both are drunk and hear a marginally popular song:
Women: Oh, this is my song! SHAWTY LET ME BUY YO’ DRAAAAAAANK!
Bros: Shaaaaaa, it’s the Doctor! LA-DEE-DA-DEE-DA! IT’S THE MUTHERFUCKIN D-R-E!
Still not convinced? When confronted about their sexual behavior:
Women: Wha-eva! I am NOT A WHORE!
Bros: Fuck you, bro! I am NOT GAY! No homo over here!
You get the idea. Both women and Bros have to be the center of attention at all times. This has been scientifically proven by me on several occasions whether it be the blowing off of women at the club when I am in conversation (Rick and I did that a couple of times at the Giggly Grizzly and The Loft) and them subsequently getting upset or thinking I and whoever I am with are gay. Also note the pole dancing, the kissing of other women but not being gay, and of course the grinding for no reason. Bros are the loudest, most obnoxious A-holes in the building and usually grind up on women or EACH OTHER while making sure that everyone knows that Bro Phi Bro is in the place to be and they go UCCS Uni-Ver-Si-Tee. If women don’t respond they call her a “bitch” or whatever word in their limited vocabulary they can think to call a woman. Sound familiar? They want the attention, but on their own terms. All the power, none of the responsibility. Yeah, circular reasoning; no holes in my logic.
FACT: Bros Are Totally Insecure
Now this was a difficult one to observe since Bros (much like women) are all sound and fury signifying nothing. Women will say that they don’t need no man and they don’t take shit from anyone…yet will be in a relationship with someone even they call worthless. Behind all that ego and false female pride is an insecure woman that sticks with an unwanted situation because she is afraid of being alone. Now Bros are a different animal because in this case they are more like Emo-kids or Goths. I rarely see Bros by themselves at all and when I do their bravado is turned down to zero. Also, I knew Bros in college and when it was just he and I you wouldn’t even know that he was a bro. But get him at the Ritz or Rumbay and he lost his mind because it was all about the Bro-jamins, baby! A friend of mine (Ethan) in my Women’s Studies and Gerontology classes’ Junior year was a dude that you would never know was a “Bro” because he despised other Bros. He even told me one thing that really made me think:
“The fake-ass Bros here are a step below the Emo-kids because at least the Emo-kids have something they stand for, albeit stupid. A real “Bro” doesn’t call himself a “bro” any-damn way. A “Bro” is just someone who is for everyone understanding each other. Like…hell, hippies that bathe. True Bros don’t call themselves “Bro”, they call everyone else Bro because we are all brothers as in family no matter what your race, religion or gender, man.” (Note: He used to get high…a lot. Deep stuff, he was my road dog since Freshman year)
Ethan and I used to get food in the break 2 hour between the Ethnic Studies and Gerontology classes with some females from the morning Women’s Studies class and debate about stuff like this and you know what? We never lost. Because they ALL dated Bros (Even worse they were “G.I. Bros” which are one of the worst of the worst. I’ll have a post on the kinds of Bros at some point for fun) and when asked why they even STATED it was insecurity of leaving them because they fear what is out there. Ethan (who knew Bros, he was like a Bro Obi-Wan in Wisconsin where he transferred from) even explained that Bros are insecure about being seen as “punks” by women so they act like jerkasses and that some were just born A-holes and becoming a obnoxious Bro was just easy. Just like women who gave it up in high school so when they got to college they said “Well, cant get off the Ho-Train now!” God, I’m going to die alone at this rate.
That is that. Bros are the Chicks of 2007. Now don’t go getting all pissy. Not all women constantly display the four aforementioned traits but from what I have observed and have been told to me, these are the consistent attitudes of women and they transfer almost perfectly to Bros. Oh, one last thing: both Bros and women have like a set of three dance moves they live and die by.
Women: The Drop It, The Over The Shoulder Look/Hip Shake and Anything that causes your eyes to look at their chest (Women aren’t innovators on the dance floor. Ask MC Hammer)
Bros: The Roll The Dice, The Sprinkler and the Kid N’ Play Move (The grabbing of one leg and thrusting. I’m going to call it the “Bro Bro Gadget”)
See, this is why I should call myself a Doctor. I have a Bachelors in Communications and a Minor in Women’s Studies and Sociology. Works for Dr. Orpheus:
If you can’t see the humor in that, there is something wrong with you. I’ll be back up at some point this week, probably with a rant not Bros. Unless it’s the Venture Bros. Go Team Venture!
Chachi Out.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Well, I Tried My Best And That Is All Jeebus Asks Of Me.
What is up, peeps! It is Friday and it is time to get LOOSE! Can I get a “what what”?! No? Fiiiiiine. Well, before you go out and shake your naughty bits, we have some business to attend to. It’s time for the…
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We begin this week with a debut video from a band that has been missing for quite a while.
20. FLOW - Answer (New Entry)
If you wouldn’t mind, say welcome back to Flow! If you don’t remember, they made “Go!” and “Re:member” for Naruto (the latter was #1 for three weeks in 2006) and “Colors” for Code Geass (Spelling is butchered, I admit). Needless to say, they kick ass. If you haven’t heard of them, get “Golden Coast” or their greatest hits. This video is brand spanking new and ass kicking!
19. John Legend – Stereo (New Entry)
HELLS YEAH! John Legend is back, fishes! This is his fourth video off of “Once Again” and I never get sick of this album. I was hoping for “Again” but you can’t beat this song for a summertime groove. Can John Legend do what UVERworld failed to do with “Zero No Kotae” and get his 4th #1 video? We will have to see!
18. Enrique Iglesias – Do You Know (Last Week #16)
After a short run at the bottom half of the Countdown, Enrique makes a slow drop. This video is still cool, and the Spanish version is still be best stalking song of the year. However, it is no “Don’t Turn Out The Lights”. Yeah, now THAT is creepy.
17. Gym Class Heroes – Clothes Off (Last Week #19)
This is officially the summer theme song! Not gonna lie, I am still waiting for someone to do a remake of “I Wanna Be Rich” by Calloway. I kind of figured Diddy would have been ALL OVER THAT, but I stand corrected.
16. Orange Range – Ika Summer (Last Week #13)
Next week, fools! Orange Range’s Greatest Hits! Pick it up if you are down for a good listen of classic j-pop/j-rock! This week, they fall three spots with a video that came close to taking the #1 spot.
15. Kanye West feat. Daft Punk – Stronger (Last Week #17)
So the more I hear 50 Cent talk, the more it makes me want to hear Kanye talk. Which is scary because Kanye needs to shut the fuck up. Even still, the music for the most part is scandal-proof!
14. Daddy Yankee feat. Fergie – Impacto (Last Week #10)
So I may be the only one, but am I really not liking Nicole Whatsherface from the Pussycat Dolls? I heard her song with D.Y. on his album and her single with T.I. aint even in English. I never thought I’d say this…but Fergie is better. Whoa, the Earth just shifted.
13. AI – Brand New Day (Last Week # 14)
AI moves up one more spot this week as she tries to replicate the awesomeness that was “I Wanna Know” from 2006. This video is back in the rotation after getting accidentally deleted (Yeah, getting the new CPU set up was a clusterfuck) and I am digging it again. Here is hoping for a reunion with Namie Amuro soon because…that is some sexy stuff right there.
12. Abingdon Boys School – Nephilim (Last Week #15)
Can Abingdon Boys School rock any harder? I mean they could, but the tear in the space time continuum would create a vortex that would consume at least three planets. And Rosie O’Donnell. Heh, I made a funny. Anyway, “Nephilim” moves up 2 more spots and just outside the Top 10.
11. Maroon 5 – Makes Me Wonder (Last Week #8, Three weeks at #1)
Where in the hell is some new Maroon 5! And don’t they dare make a video for that shitty remix with MIMS. I mean…anyone but MIMS. Hell, I would have accepted AKON over MIMS! Wow…isn’t that the quandary of the mountain lion or the pipe bomb. Onto the Top 10!
10. Hearts Grow - Mimawari (Last Week #12)
You know, Hearts Grow has put together quite a good body of work for a group with no album. This video is simple, summertime goodness. Not only that, there isn’t a video chick or R. Kelly in sight. I have a fear of whenever I see a video with anyone under the age of 16; R. Kelly is going to pee in it. Luckily, he was out of town for this one because this video rules.
9. Abingdon Boys School – Howling (Last Week #4, One week at #1)
They replaced the intro to “Darker Than Black” already! How dare they?! The ending got changed, too. But its HIGH and MIGHTY COLOR so…yeah that’s good enough for me because Yuki is HOT. Anyway, The Boys fall a big five spots this week after taking the top spot a month ago. No biggie, they have another one rising.
8. Gackt – RETURNER ~Yami no Shuuen~ (Last Week #11)
Ladies, the Top 10 just got HOTTER THAN HADES! Gackt has his first Top Ten video and needless to say, this is epic in scope. Samurais, horses, battles, special effects and Gackt with messed up hair? Sign me up!7. Common – The People (Last Week #9)
Hip hop in effect, people! Common is featured in Guru’s (Jazz is back!) new single! Too bad the video is based off “Fritz The Cat” because the song is awesome. That cartoon freaked me the hell out. If you haven’t seen it…don’t. Think “Dumbo” meets “The Big Lebowski” meets really bad furry porn. Trust me and steer clear. Except from this video, it’s tight.
6. Foxxi MisQ feat. Miss Monday – Party Booty Shake (Last Week #7)
Mmm…Foxxi MisQ. You know, I am still listening to this album. Between “Gloss” and “T.I. vs. T.I.P.” I don’t really have any other CDS. Wait, Namie Amuro’s latest one gets listened to, but that’s it. Oh…and Dem is hot. Very hot and very young (But totally legal! Best of both worlds!) as they move up a spot this week.
5. T.I. – Big Things Poppin’ (Last Week #6)
We are into the Top Five and we have a familiar face! Despite only having two #1 videos, T.I. is second in terms of weeks at #1 total (11 weeks) which is a great accomplishment, especially since I didn’t like hip hop for about 2 years or so. This video moves up a spot this week he has “You Know What It Is” and is working on the third single, supposedly “Touch Down” with Eminem. Niiiiice.
4. L`Arc~en~Ciel – Seventh Heaven (Last Week #5)
The legends are one step closer! “Seventh Heaven” moves up a spot this week and is looking for that Top Spot! I got another live performance of this song and maybe Hyde is taking the Johnny Depp thing too far. I mean, one Johnny Depp is hot but TWO JOHNNY DEPPS?! The heat would create a second sun!
3. Foxxi MisQ feat Zeebra – Luxury Ride (Last Week #3)
Mo Foxxi, mo happy! The sexy ladies of Foxxi MisQ have two of the six biggest videos in the world! Can they accomplish what UVERworld pulled off and have two videos in the Top Five? That is quite the feat, but seeing as how this video is stalled at #3 this week…you never know. We are down to two…
2. Yui – My Generation (Last Week #2) [Four Weeks at #2]
…And the runner-up is Yui AGAIN. Yui has tied Nelly Furtado and Evanescence for the video with the most weeks at #2 (Four weeks), which is an accomplishment. The bad part is that those videos (“Maneater” for Nelly and “Call Me When You Are Sober” & “Lithium” for Evanescence) never made it to Number One. If the #1 video has anything to say about it, next week will be the 5th week.
1. UGK feat. Outkast – International Players Anthem (Last Week #1, Three weeks at #1)
Sweet Jones! UGK spends their THIRD week at #1 with this video! It is only July and there are 5 months left to go in 2007…but this may be the frontrunner for video of the year. It is that good! Yes, nobodyknows+ brings the heroes back and John Legend brought the P.D.A. but UGK and Outkast brought us something more important. That something is more Black men in suits than a hip hop court case. Oh, snap! Even still, congratulations!
Well, that is all for now! Tune in next Friday to see if Yui can FINALLY take the Top Spot! Or will UGK and Outkast make #1 a Players Ball for a full month? Don’t forget about the ladies of Foxxi MisQ; they are looking to park their “Luxury Ride” at #1! Only one way to find out and that is to be here next week!
Well, it’s Friday, I just got paid (Albeit 55% of it is going to bills and I got shorted AGAIN), I’m a lame duck at work and I am getting TORE UP…on juice. Who’s with me?! Got an interview at 6PM and then after that it is PARTY TIME! I think I’m doing lunch with Rick on Saturday so anyone in Denver that is down for a DENVER PARTEEEE let me know! Until then, stay up peeps!
Chachi Out.
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We begin this week with a debut video from a band that has been missing for quite a while.
20. FLOW - Answer (New Entry)
If you wouldn’t mind, say welcome back to Flow! If you don’t remember, they made “Go!” and “Re:member” for Naruto (the latter was #1 for three weeks in 2006) and “Colors” for Code Geass (Spelling is butchered, I admit). Needless to say, they kick ass. If you haven’t heard of them, get “Golden Coast” or their greatest hits. This video is brand spanking new and ass kicking!
19. John Legend – Stereo (New Entry)
HELLS YEAH! John Legend is back, fishes! This is his fourth video off of “Once Again” and I never get sick of this album. I was hoping for “Again” but you can’t beat this song for a summertime groove. Can John Legend do what UVERworld failed to do with “Zero No Kotae” and get his 4th #1 video? We will have to see!
18. Enrique Iglesias – Do You Know (Last Week #16)
After a short run at the bottom half of the Countdown, Enrique makes a slow drop. This video is still cool, and the Spanish version is still be best stalking song of the year. However, it is no “Don’t Turn Out The Lights”. Yeah, now THAT is creepy.
17. Gym Class Heroes – Clothes Off (Last Week #19)
This is officially the summer theme song! Not gonna lie, I am still waiting for someone to do a remake of “I Wanna Be Rich” by Calloway. I kind of figured Diddy would have been ALL OVER THAT, but I stand corrected.
16. Orange Range – Ika Summer (Last Week #13)
Next week, fools! Orange Range’s Greatest Hits! Pick it up if you are down for a good listen of classic j-pop/j-rock! This week, they fall three spots with a video that came close to taking the #1 spot.
15. Kanye West feat. Daft Punk – Stronger (Last Week #17)
So the more I hear 50 Cent talk, the more it makes me want to hear Kanye talk. Which is scary because Kanye needs to shut the fuck up. Even still, the music for the most part is scandal-proof!
14. Daddy Yankee feat. Fergie – Impacto (Last Week #10)
So I may be the only one, but am I really not liking Nicole Whatsherface from the Pussycat Dolls? I heard her song with D.Y. on his album and her single with T.I. aint even in English. I never thought I’d say this…but Fergie is better. Whoa, the Earth just shifted.
13. AI – Brand New Day (Last Week # 14)
AI moves up one more spot this week as she tries to replicate the awesomeness that was “I Wanna Know” from 2006. This video is back in the rotation after getting accidentally deleted (Yeah, getting the new CPU set up was a clusterfuck) and I am digging it again. Here is hoping for a reunion with Namie Amuro soon because…that is some sexy stuff right there.
12. Abingdon Boys School – Nephilim (Last Week #15)
Can Abingdon Boys School rock any harder? I mean they could, but the tear in the space time continuum would create a vortex that would consume at least three planets. And Rosie O’Donnell. Heh, I made a funny. Anyway, “Nephilim” moves up 2 more spots and just outside the Top 10.
11. Maroon 5 – Makes Me Wonder (Last Week #8, Three weeks at #1)
Where in the hell is some new Maroon 5! And don’t they dare make a video for that shitty remix with MIMS. I mean…anyone but MIMS. Hell, I would have accepted AKON over MIMS! Wow…isn’t that the quandary of the mountain lion or the pipe bomb. Onto the Top 10!
10. Hearts Grow - Mimawari (Last Week #12)
You know, Hearts Grow has put together quite a good body of work for a group with no album. This video is simple, summertime goodness. Not only that, there isn’t a video chick or R. Kelly in sight. I have a fear of whenever I see a video with anyone under the age of 16; R. Kelly is going to pee in it. Luckily, he was out of town for this one because this video rules.
9. Abingdon Boys School – Howling (Last Week #4, One week at #1)
They replaced the intro to “Darker Than Black” already! How dare they?! The ending got changed, too. But its HIGH and MIGHTY COLOR so…yeah that’s good enough for me because Yuki is HOT. Anyway, The Boys fall a big five spots this week after taking the top spot a month ago. No biggie, they have another one rising.
8. Gackt – RETURNER ~Yami no Shuuen~ (Last Week #11)
Ladies, the Top 10 just got HOTTER THAN HADES! Gackt has his first Top Ten video and needless to say, this is epic in scope. Samurais, horses, battles, special effects and Gackt with messed up hair? Sign me up!7. Common – The People (Last Week #9)
Hip hop in effect, people! Common is featured in Guru’s (Jazz is back!) new single! Too bad the video is based off “Fritz The Cat” because the song is awesome. That cartoon freaked me the hell out. If you haven’t seen it…don’t. Think “Dumbo” meets “The Big Lebowski” meets really bad furry porn. Trust me and steer clear. Except from this video, it’s tight.
6. Foxxi MisQ feat. Miss Monday – Party Booty Shake (Last Week #7)
Mmm…Foxxi MisQ. You know, I am still listening to this album. Between “Gloss” and “T.I. vs. T.I.P.” I don’t really have any other CDS. Wait, Namie Amuro’s latest one gets listened to, but that’s it. Oh…and Dem is hot. Very hot and very young (But totally legal! Best of both worlds!) as they move up a spot this week.
5. T.I. – Big Things Poppin’ (Last Week #6)
We are into the Top Five and we have a familiar face! Despite only having two #1 videos, T.I. is second in terms of weeks at #1 total (11 weeks) which is a great accomplishment, especially since I didn’t like hip hop for about 2 years or so. This video moves up a spot this week he has “You Know What It Is” and is working on the third single, supposedly “Touch Down” with Eminem. Niiiiice.
4. L`Arc~en~Ciel – Seventh Heaven (Last Week #5)
The legends are one step closer! “Seventh Heaven” moves up a spot this week and is looking for that Top Spot! I got another live performance of this song and maybe Hyde is taking the Johnny Depp thing too far. I mean, one Johnny Depp is hot but TWO JOHNNY DEPPS?! The heat would create a second sun!
3. Foxxi MisQ feat Zeebra – Luxury Ride (Last Week #3)
Mo Foxxi, mo happy! The sexy ladies of Foxxi MisQ have two of the six biggest videos in the world! Can they accomplish what UVERworld pulled off and have two videos in the Top Five? That is quite the feat, but seeing as how this video is stalled at #3 this week…you never know. We are down to two…
2. Yui – My Generation (Last Week #2) [Four Weeks at #2]
…And the runner-up is Yui AGAIN. Yui has tied Nelly Furtado and Evanescence for the video with the most weeks at #2 (Four weeks), which is an accomplishment. The bad part is that those videos (“Maneater” for Nelly and “Call Me When You Are Sober” & “Lithium” for Evanescence) never made it to Number One. If the #1 video has anything to say about it, next week will be the 5th week.
1. UGK feat. Outkast – International Players Anthem (Last Week #1, Three weeks at #1)
Sweet Jones! UGK spends their THIRD week at #1 with this video! It is only July and there are 5 months left to go in 2007…but this may be the frontrunner for video of the year. It is that good! Yes, nobodyknows+ brings the heroes back and John Legend brought the P.D.A. but UGK and Outkast brought us something more important. That something is more Black men in suits than a hip hop court case. Oh, snap! Even still, congratulations!
Well, that is all for now! Tune in next Friday to see if Yui can FINALLY take the Top Spot! Or will UGK and Outkast make #1 a Players Ball for a full month? Don’t forget about the ladies of Foxxi MisQ; they are looking to park their “Luxury Ride” at #1! Only one way to find out and that is to be here next week!
Well, it’s Friday, I just got paid (Albeit 55% of it is going to bills and I got shorted AGAIN), I’m a lame duck at work and I am getting TORE UP…on juice. Who’s with me?! Got an interview at 6PM and then after that it is PARTY TIME! I think I’m doing lunch with Rick on Saturday so anyone in Denver that is down for a DENVER PARTEEEE let me know! Until then, stay up peeps!
Chachi Out.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Are You Ready For The Foosball?!
So an update on my distain for NCAA Football 08. Last night I played my third game after beating Colorado State (59-14, yours truly with 310 passing yards and 135 of th0se to Griff) and shocking Ohio State in Columbus 40-7 (Yeah, OSU had four interceptions but I had three, two returned for touchdowns and that really skewed the score). Keep in mind that I was STILL UNRANKED for some reason but I kept on. So last night I played the #16th ranked Seminoles of Florida State in my Homecoming game which is the brainfarts of all brainfarts but if I want to impress the BCS I can’t play Maine or SF Austin State. So I booted up and got ready to play.
First off…fuck Florida State. Seriously, I hope your campus gets invaded by horny ferrets. Now I know I have Colorado and they are ranked about 83rd out of 113 or so Division I schools but…
10 SACKS?!
You read that right. I got sacked 10 fucking times. Now read that correctly, they didn’t have 10 sacks in the game. THEY HAD 10 SACKS AGAINST ME! More on that later. In the first quarter, things were normal. We both punted on our first drives and on our second drives we each had 13 play drives that resulted in short touchdowns (A run for me and a bullshit tight end screen for them, which is odd because they had a FOUR RECIEVER SET!). Not a bad start, but not what I would expect in a big game.
Colorado 7
#16 Florida State 7
End of 1st Quarter
The second quarter was okay except plagued with fumbles for some reason (2 by each team, with myself getting 14 points and the computer getting 10) and at halftime the score was
Colorado 21
#16 Florida State 17
Halftime
Then shit went horribly wrong.
After I drove down and got a field goal with the first drive of the second half and then got a defensive stop (w00t!) I began to come across a problem. They were blitzing the SHIT OUT OF ME. Seriously, they brought six guys every play! Problem was my offensive line must have been hepped up on goofballs because they didn’t even try to block them. There were times that I would take the snap and then the defensive tackle would sack me before I started my drop back animation. Because of the constant 3rd and 20’s I’d have to face, I had to pass on third down (which I hate being forced to do with this team because aside from Griff they are mouthbreathers) which meant I had to face the blitz AGAIN. Even worse, there were times when I would drop back, get sacked before the damn clock would start and there would be a flag. Has to be offsides, right?
Clipping. On the offense, 15 yard penalty. Still third down.
CLIPPING?! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN CLIPPING?! For those that don’t know, clipping is:
“Blocking an opponent below the waist from behind; this illegal block is a personal foul, punishable by a 15-yard penalty.”
Now, to block someone from behind….YOU HAVE TO ACTUALLY BLOCK THEM! If that man runs right past your ass and sacks me, how in the HELL IS HE BEING CLIPPED?! BULLSHIT! Anyway, I got six (SIX!) of these called against me in the third quarter. One of these pinned me at my own four after a third and 48. I managed a field goal after they messed up a fake punt but they got a quick score after I shanked a punt so at the end of the third we are all tied up.
#16 Florida State 24
Colorado 24
End of the 3rd Quarter
To begin the fourth quarter I was on a drive from my own 6 because of a clipping penalty on the kickoff from their fucking touchdown. I was doing my normal thing (running the ball, quick slants, screens and hitches to set up a post or go route) on my drive when one a 3rd and 1 from my 47 yard line I decided to go for the money. On a play action screen, I saw Griff had passed his defender and the safety was on a blitz meaning he was wide open on the sidelines. I tapped the “B” button for a lob pass when all of a sudden…the defender tackled him. Like he already had the ball. So I lob this ball in the air and as I lob it I get hit by a defender that WAS NOT THERE (If a defender is around the animation is a short-armed throw no matter what) so the ball just kind of quailed up there and got picked off. Ran back for a touchdown.
#16 Florida State 31
Colorado 24
3:47 4th Quarter
SHIT! But wait, a flag on the field! Hooray, clipping on me!
Pass Interference, #25 on the defense, 15 yard penalty. First down.
Like I said yesterday the crowd noise doesn’t match the animation but the crowd went NUTS. So I continued my drive and on the 17 yard line on a 3rd and 3 I called a QB Draw Option (Where you can scramble, pass or hand-off to the running back) to get to the middle of the field for a go ahead field goal. That’s when shit went REALLY whack. As soon as the ball is snapped, the running back runs the WRONG WAY AND DOES NOT HAVE THE BALL! So I am standing there…on a draw. During a blitz. Yeah. I scramble and see Griff running a Corner Out route (just think about him running to the far back right pylon) so I know if I lob it he can outjump the defender. Right as I throw the ball, I get hit so hard the animation sends the football STRAIGHT UP IN THE AIR. I mean this ball is under thrown by about 10 yards and right into the hands of the Rover that he promptly takes back 91 yards for a touchdown. Also, I suffer a concussion from the gang hit (THREE DUDES!) so my backup, the redshirt freshman son of the coach is in to start. Greaaaaat.
#16 Florida State 31
Colorado 24
2:57 4th Quarter
SHIIIIIIIT!
So on the ensuing kickoff, my starting running back (who is doing well with 144 yards on the ground) gets a good return but gets gang tackled. Aaaaaaaand suffers a pinched nerve, out for the game. FUCK! So my backup QB and my backup halfback hold my hopes for a win. Awesome. The drive starts how I would expect it. A loss of two on a run and a sack. Third and 18. Next play, a little over the middle route and holy shit he caught it! A 44 yard gain and I am in FUCKING BUSINESS. No wait…clipping. 3rd and 32 from the 39 yard line. I drop back and hit and a FUMBLE! FUCK! Picked up by a lineman that runs two yards and FUMBLE AGAIN! Picked up by the fullback and he gains six yards. I’m fucked.
#16 Florida State 31
Colorado 24
2:19 4th Quarter (4th and 20)
Here goes. My QB drops back…shit, a blitz! Steps up in the pocket and throws to the left side….caught at the FSU 47 yard line! Opening in the zone! Run you…fullback?! Hells yeah! He gains 22 more yards and drags the safety and a linebacker with him! 1st and 10 at the FSU 25! No huddle! I snap again and another blitz! The young QB steps up…hits Griff on the far right hand side at the 19 and he is running. Runnnnnnniiiinnnnngggg and the safety has the angle! He dives for the corner of the endzone….touchdown! No, they rule him out at the ONE YARD LINE! The next play I hand off to my backup halfback and he dives…TOUCHDOWN! Extra point is good!
Colorado 31
#16 Florida State 31
1:55 4th Quarter
I kick off out of the endzone and FSU has it at their 20 yard line. First play, drop back…SACKED! I FINALLY GOT HIM! Time out FSU. Second and 17, the QB drops back…INCOMPLETE! I could get this back with some time remaining! 3rd and 17, he drops back, throws to the corner for the tight end and it is caught short of the first! He breaks a tackle and is hit…FUMBLE! I dive for it and….no it goes out of bounds! 4th and 6! FSU punts and Griff gets the ball…across to the right and out of bounds at the Colorado 31 yard line. 58 seconds left. Every kid dreams of this moment. Here we go, a field goal to win. The QB takes the snap, the fullback runs into the flat. He floats a pass to him and he catches. He has open field! 35 to the 40! 45…50….45…40…! He is tackled at the 38 yard line! The clock is running! No huddle! To the line of scrimmage to down the ball…they fake the spike! Quick lob to Griff and he has it! He scrambles to make it out of bounds….HE DOESN’T! He is down at the 28! 13 seconds and running because he didn’t get the fucking first down! You BLACK BASTARD! No huddle! Spike!
Ten seconds left from the FSU 28 yard line. I need to center the ball because the wind is kicking my ass. One time out. Just get the ball in the middle of the hash marks…that’s all I need. Just going to run and slide. The QB takes the snap….I hit the dive button…nothing. SHIT! I hit it again and NOTHING! I hit it a THIRD TIME and I prepare to dive…he’s hit!
FUMBLE! FSU RECOVERS AS TIME EXPIRES! WE ARE GOING TO OVERTIME!
SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!
Colorado 31
#16 FSU 31
End of Regulation
Shit. I’m going to lose. They win the toss and chose to go on offense first. 1st and 10 from the 25…quick slant to the wide receiver and he has real estate! He is tackled at the 7 yard line for a first down! FUCK! QB takes the snap….SACKED! YES! Okay, I have a shot. 2nd and 17 from the 14…running back tackled for a three yard loss! 3rd and 20! QB takes the snap from the shotgun and HE DROPS IT (I have never seen that before in this game which makes me wonder if it is a glitch)! He recovers…scrambles…throws out of bounds! 4th and 20. A 33 yard field goal attempt…WIDE LEFT! WIDE LEFT CRUEL IRONY!!! FSU fans know what I am talking about!
All I need is a field goal to win. But I want the touchdown because I am a FUCKING MORON. 1st and 10 from the 25. From the Shotgun fake end-a-round…Griff sells the block and breaks out off the line…slight overthrow…ONE HANDED CATCH AT THE 10! The safety and the corner have the angle! He dives for the endzone…!
FUMBLE! WHAT IN THE HOLY HELL, MAN?!
Ball is loose at the three yard line….THE FULLBACK RECOVERS!! The man saved my season four times in this game! Ball at the two yard line! Screw that, I’m going for the field goal. CU lines up for a 20 yard chip shot. The snap, the catch, the hold…
IT’S GOOD! IT’S GOOD! COLORADO PULLS THE UPSET OVER #16 FSU! IT FEELS SO GOOD! NO MORE RANKED TEAMS THIS YEAR! ONLY BAYLOR!
Colorado 34
#16 Florida State 31
Final (1st Overtime)
Whoo…I was cussing up a STORM while playing this because it was just…never wracking. How could I dominate Ohio State ON THE ROAD and not be able to put away Florida State AT HOME? It does NOT MAKE SENSE. My life just got suckier because the next game…#13 Oklahoma. Oh, and I am STILL NOT RANKED after beating two ranked teams.
I fucking hate this game. So fucking hate it. Be back tomorrow with the Top 20 Video Countdown.
Chachi Out.
First off…fuck Florida State. Seriously, I hope your campus gets invaded by horny ferrets. Now I know I have Colorado and they are ranked about 83rd out of 113 or so Division I schools but…
10 SACKS?!
You read that right. I got sacked 10 fucking times. Now read that correctly, they didn’t have 10 sacks in the game. THEY HAD 10 SACKS AGAINST ME! More on that later. In the first quarter, things were normal. We both punted on our first drives and on our second drives we each had 13 play drives that resulted in short touchdowns (A run for me and a bullshit tight end screen for them, which is odd because they had a FOUR RECIEVER SET!). Not a bad start, but not what I would expect in a big game.
Colorado 7
#16 Florida State 7
End of 1st Quarter
The second quarter was okay except plagued with fumbles for some reason (2 by each team, with myself getting 14 points and the computer getting 10) and at halftime the score was
Colorado 21
#16 Florida State 17
Halftime
Then shit went horribly wrong.
After I drove down and got a field goal with the first drive of the second half and then got a defensive stop (w00t!) I began to come across a problem. They were blitzing the SHIT OUT OF ME. Seriously, they brought six guys every play! Problem was my offensive line must have been hepped up on goofballs because they didn’t even try to block them. There were times that I would take the snap and then the defensive tackle would sack me before I started my drop back animation. Because of the constant 3rd and 20’s I’d have to face, I had to pass on third down (which I hate being forced to do with this team because aside from Griff they are mouthbreathers) which meant I had to face the blitz AGAIN. Even worse, there were times when I would drop back, get sacked before the damn clock would start and there would be a flag. Has to be offsides, right?
Clipping. On the offense, 15 yard penalty. Still third down.
CLIPPING?! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN CLIPPING?! For those that don’t know, clipping is:
“Blocking an opponent below the waist from behind; this illegal block is a personal foul, punishable by a 15-yard penalty.”
Now, to block someone from behind….YOU HAVE TO ACTUALLY BLOCK THEM! If that man runs right past your ass and sacks me, how in the HELL IS HE BEING CLIPPED?! BULLSHIT! Anyway, I got six (SIX!) of these called against me in the third quarter. One of these pinned me at my own four after a third and 48. I managed a field goal after they messed up a fake punt but they got a quick score after I shanked a punt so at the end of the third we are all tied up.
#16 Florida State 24
Colorado 24
End of the 3rd Quarter
To begin the fourth quarter I was on a drive from my own 6 because of a clipping penalty on the kickoff from their fucking touchdown. I was doing my normal thing (running the ball, quick slants, screens and hitches to set up a post or go route) on my drive when one a 3rd and 1 from my 47 yard line I decided to go for the money. On a play action screen, I saw Griff had passed his defender and the safety was on a blitz meaning he was wide open on the sidelines. I tapped the “B” button for a lob pass when all of a sudden…the defender tackled him. Like he already had the ball. So I lob this ball in the air and as I lob it I get hit by a defender that WAS NOT THERE (If a defender is around the animation is a short-armed throw no matter what) so the ball just kind of quailed up there and got picked off. Ran back for a touchdown.
#16 Florida State 31
Colorado 24
3:47 4th Quarter
SHIT! But wait, a flag on the field! Hooray, clipping on me!
Pass Interference, #25 on the defense, 15 yard penalty. First down.
Like I said yesterday the crowd noise doesn’t match the animation but the crowd went NUTS. So I continued my drive and on the 17 yard line on a 3rd and 3 I called a QB Draw Option (Where you can scramble, pass or hand-off to the running back) to get to the middle of the field for a go ahead field goal. That’s when shit went REALLY whack. As soon as the ball is snapped, the running back runs the WRONG WAY AND DOES NOT HAVE THE BALL! So I am standing there…on a draw. During a blitz. Yeah. I scramble and see Griff running a Corner Out route (just think about him running to the far back right pylon) so I know if I lob it he can outjump the defender. Right as I throw the ball, I get hit so hard the animation sends the football STRAIGHT UP IN THE AIR. I mean this ball is under thrown by about 10 yards and right into the hands of the Rover that he promptly takes back 91 yards for a touchdown. Also, I suffer a concussion from the gang hit (THREE DUDES!) so my backup, the redshirt freshman son of the coach is in to start. Greaaaaat.
#16 Florida State 31
Colorado 24
2:57 4th Quarter
SHIIIIIIIT!
So on the ensuing kickoff, my starting running back (who is doing well with 144 yards on the ground) gets a good return but gets gang tackled. Aaaaaaaand suffers a pinched nerve, out for the game. FUCK! So my backup QB and my backup halfback hold my hopes for a win. Awesome. The drive starts how I would expect it. A loss of two on a run and a sack. Third and 18. Next play, a little over the middle route and holy shit he caught it! A 44 yard gain and I am in FUCKING BUSINESS. No wait…clipping. 3rd and 32 from the 39 yard line. I drop back and hit and a FUMBLE! FUCK! Picked up by a lineman that runs two yards and FUMBLE AGAIN! Picked up by the fullback and he gains six yards. I’m fucked.
#16 Florida State 31
Colorado 24
2:19 4th Quarter (4th and 20)
Here goes. My QB drops back…shit, a blitz! Steps up in the pocket and throws to the left side….caught at the FSU 47 yard line! Opening in the zone! Run you…fullback?! Hells yeah! He gains 22 more yards and drags the safety and a linebacker with him! 1st and 10 at the FSU 25! No huddle! I snap again and another blitz! The young QB steps up…hits Griff on the far right hand side at the 19 and he is running. Runnnnnnniiiinnnnngggg and the safety has the angle! He dives for the corner of the endzone….touchdown! No, they rule him out at the ONE YARD LINE! The next play I hand off to my backup halfback and he dives…TOUCHDOWN! Extra point is good!
Colorado 31
#16 Florida State 31
1:55 4th Quarter
I kick off out of the endzone and FSU has it at their 20 yard line. First play, drop back…SACKED! I FINALLY GOT HIM! Time out FSU. Second and 17, the QB drops back…INCOMPLETE! I could get this back with some time remaining! 3rd and 17, he drops back, throws to the corner for the tight end and it is caught short of the first! He breaks a tackle and is hit…FUMBLE! I dive for it and….no it goes out of bounds! 4th and 6! FSU punts and Griff gets the ball…across to the right and out of bounds at the Colorado 31 yard line. 58 seconds left. Every kid dreams of this moment. Here we go, a field goal to win. The QB takes the snap, the fullback runs into the flat. He floats a pass to him and he catches. He has open field! 35 to the 40! 45…50….45…40…! He is tackled at the 38 yard line! The clock is running! No huddle! To the line of scrimmage to down the ball…they fake the spike! Quick lob to Griff and he has it! He scrambles to make it out of bounds….HE DOESN’T! He is down at the 28! 13 seconds and running because he didn’t get the fucking first down! You BLACK BASTARD! No huddle! Spike!
Ten seconds left from the FSU 28 yard line. I need to center the ball because the wind is kicking my ass. One time out. Just get the ball in the middle of the hash marks…that’s all I need. Just going to run and slide. The QB takes the snap….I hit the dive button…nothing. SHIT! I hit it again and NOTHING! I hit it a THIRD TIME and I prepare to dive…he’s hit!
FUMBLE! FSU RECOVERS AS TIME EXPIRES! WE ARE GOING TO OVERTIME!
SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!
Colorado 31
#16 FSU 31
End of Regulation
Shit. I’m going to lose. They win the toss and chose to go on offense first. 1st and 10 from the 25…quick slant to the wide receiver and he has real estate! He is tackled at the 7 yard line for a first down! FUCK! QB takes the snap….SACKED! YES! Okay, I have a shot. 2nd and 17 from the 14…running back tackled for a three yard loss! 3rd and 20! QB takes the snap from the shotgun and HE DROPS IT (I have never seen that before in this game which makes me wonder if it is a glitch)! He recovers…scrambles…throws out of bounds! 4th and 20. A 33 yard field goal attempt…WIDE LEFT! WIDE LEFT CRUEL IRONY!!! FSU fans know what I am talking about!
All I need is a field goal to win. But I want the touchdown because I am a FUCKING MORON. 1st and 10 from the 25. From the Shotgun fake end-a-round…Griff sells the block and breaks out off the line…slight overthrow…ONE HANDED CATCH AT THE 10! The safety and the corner have the angle! He dives for the endzone…!
FUMBLE! WHAT IN THE HOLY HELL, MAN?!
Ball is loose at the three yard line….THE FULLBACK RECOVERS!! The man saved my season four times in this game! Ball at the two yard line! Screw that, I’m going for the field goal. CU lines up for a 20 yard chip shot. The snap, the catch, the hold…
IT’S GOOD! IT’S GOOD! COLORADO PULLS THE UPSET OVER #16 FSU! IT FEELS SO GOOD! NO MORE RANKED TEAMS THIS YEAR! ONLY BAYLOR!
Colorado 34
#16 Florida State 31
Final (1st Overtime)
Whoo…I was cussing up a STORM while playing this because it was just…never wracking. How could I dominate Ohio State ON THE ROAD and not be able to put away Florida State AT HOME? It does NOT MAKE SENSE. My life just got suckier because the next game…#13 Oklahoma. Oh, and I am STILL NOT RANKED after beating two ranked teams.
I fucking hate this game. So fucking hate it. Be back tomorrow with the Top 20 Video Countdown.
Chachi Out.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Downsize This!
What is up peeps! It has been almost a while since I have put up a post, but I am back in effect, baby! First things first. No review of Harry Potter. The reason being is that…I really don’t remember it. And I saw it TWICE. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t good. It was just a movie. It is kind of how I felt about “The Island” last summer. It wasn’t bad, wasnt good, things just blew up. I have to give this movie a 7, because it was better than average, but average isn’t what they were aiming for.
Now for the big news. As many of you know, I preordered NCAA Football 08 for the X-Box360 and I was pretty damn pumped about it. Well, I played two games yesterday and it is time for the first ever installment of…
CHACHI’S VIDEO GAME MADNESS!!
Today’s Game: NCAA Football 08!
So last night I did my usual. I picked my team (went with the Colorado Buffaloes because I am a glutton for punishment), created my players (myself and Griff. No Rick and I will tell you why later) and started my recruiting. I tell you what, recruiting in this game is a good idea gone annoying. I do like the talking to the recruit to see what interests them, but it is cumbersome to have to do that for 22-25 recruits EACH WEEK. The thought is awesome but the execution is a little overbearing.
Secondly, the interface is hella clunky. Maybe it’s just the lag in the wireless controller but it felt like the game (in menus and in actual games) was unresponsive. Just navigating the Top 25 was a damn hassle. Oh, and Arkansas is rated WAY TOO HIGH. Just my personal opinion. Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t BAD to the point of hating it I just expected more from “next-gen”. I still think it’s the wireless controllers that is causing the lag, it was the same thing in NCAA Football 07 for the 360 and the PS2. Small gripe.
Now on to the in-game action! All I can say is that visually it is impressive. The atmosphere of the “Rocky Mountain Shootout/Showdown” was pretty bad ass, especially the recreation of Mile High Stadium (FUCK Invesco Field, and no one does it like NFL 2K5) and the aura of the college game, which I had the privilege of seeing in 2001-2002 (I think, I was totally blitzed). From the kickoff I felt that something was wrong. In a good way, but wrong. The I realized it. After dropping back in the pocket and getting sacked before the zoom out for the passing occurred I noticed that 60 fps may be too many.
Now I know that more frames equals more fluidity and animations, but really think about it. With all those frames, a dropback motion is overdone to the point of Ryu throwing a fireball in SFIII. I know throwing off the back-foot takes off from the velocity but when you are throwing a fucking slant you don’t take A SEVEN STEP DROP! Literally. It fells like your drop back takes forever and by the time your feet are set, someone is in your face. Or even better, your receivers don’t run their route. I don’t know if this is a glitch or what, but I called for a go route (play action timing to boot) and as I rolled out…the receiver ran a quick hitch route. If you don’t know what that means, imagine going to see Prince and getting Sanjaya.
Now I will admit that last year I raped the CPU and online players with Georgia Tech’s the go route and Post/Play Action Screen (hard to pull off, but like the self congratulatory reach around is WELL WORTH IT) with Calvin Johnson/Tashard Choice and maybe ran the ball…three times. EVER. It was not worth it to run the ball because the passing game was so effective. Hell, look at my numbers for the first season in 07 (Keep in mind, this was me as a created player):
348/401 (att/comp)
5,714 yards
61 Touchdowns
4 Interceptions (Three in one game against USC)
242.7 Passing Efficiency Rating (No idea what that means. Rick, clarification?)
This was on All-American difficulty and I ran roughshod. Yet I only had 612 rushing yards. AS A TEAM. It was like trying to stop a bro rape. You can try and you may even succeed, but in the end the scars are just as bad if not worse had you just went along with it. This year is the EXACT OPPOSITE. The go route is ineffective at best because even the shittiest cornerback can keep up with the best receivers. Oh, and if he is shorter by a foot then his vertical is a small child. It is bullshit; every other pass over the middle is picked off. And don’t even THINK about throwing to the sidelines (I do a lot of screens and slants) because since there is only ONE FUCKING CAMERA VIEW (another gripe altogether) it is a surprise of how many people are over there waiting to pick you off. I swear they had a six man blitz, Griff double covered, a spy, single coverage on my tight end and other wide out so when I threw the screen to what should have been a wide open fullback…he was double covered. WHAT THE FUCK?! Are they running the 5-4-5 defense? This isn’t SOCCER!
What is even more annoying is the effectiveness of the running game. Now I am all about clock management, blistering defense and effectively running the football (ask Griff about how many times I would have three backs over 100 yards against him in Madden) but the run game is WAAAAAY to effective in this game. Unless they stack the line (and vice versa) you are guaranteed at least 4 yards a carry without trying because your back always falls forward. Case in point, against Ohio State (who has a pretty stout run defense) I got 184 yards on 22 carries and got four touchdowns. In the Horseshoe. On All-American (I may try Heisman, but I want to fucking win) in a nationally televised game. That doesn’t happen, ever. On the flip side, I threw four interceptions with two of those coming from timing routes where the receiver RAN THE WRONG ROUTE! This game totally needs a passing oriented camera. The only downside to the running game is that you will fumble. A lot and for no reason. You will get the SHIT smacked out of you and stumble for 8 more yards but someone will get stiff armed by you and you drop the ball and keep running. It is really hit or miss: realistic but rather unrealistic at the same time.
The presentation of the game is awesome. You feel a sense of self worth when you break off a huge run (which happens a hell of a lot more than in the last version) and you REALLY feel good when you see the replay of a long touchdown pass (which RARELY happens. There are no blown coverages in this game but linebacker overshoot or miss their gaps all the time which is why big runs are less fulfilling). Although the stadium looks amped up the sound doesn’t match the excitement. The screen doesn’t shake and no one gets rattled. Oh, except me as QB because when the crowd gets loud I cant even find my asshole.
Overall, I think the added realism actually hurts the game in some areas (the impossibility of the passing game, the dominance of the running game, overblown recruiting) but helps out a lot in others (the return game is a lot more realistic, the presentation is awesome and trick plays/open field running is bad ass). The game is fun and a step up from 2007’s version. However, it isn’t perfect and these issues are major. The mastery of the passing game is a big part of college football (Ask Michigan. Oh, snap!) so the difficulty of getting a good passing attack going will turn some gamers off. However, the running game is realistic (If you are playing against Ohio State or West Virginia’s defense every week. Oh, I am on a ROLL!) and much like old school Nebraska or Notre Dame if done correctly you are unstoppable. The look and feel of the game is up there with RPG’s because you feel like you are at a college football game (visually, anyway) and the announcers aren’t as annoying as everyone makes them out to be. In the end, it is a good game, worth the $60 (GASP!) for the X-Box 360 and if you have HDMI…fuck yeah. Never had it, but I don’t need sex if I have that kind of graphical euphoria. I don’t have to take my X-Box out to dinner or hear it tell me I’m insensitive, either. So I give NCAA Football 08 for the X-Box 360…
8 out of 10 Controllers!
(Not as arcade-like as 07, which is both good and bad. The atmosphere is awesome but the new additions like Campus Legend and the new recruiting are hit or miss for some people. Can recommend for any system. Go State U!)
So it is official. As some of you know, I became a contractor when I parted ways with “The Q” a few months ago and I knew my time was limited. Despite the total idiocy that came with the end of my access (But not the end of my contract which cost me three and a half working days worth of pay, which is a pretty penny at my salary) and the irritation that is the internal interview process (Not having the courtesy to email me that I didn’t get a position when I fucking work there, interviewing me three times to say I don’t have the experience they are looking for) I enjoyed my time here and was hoping to at LEAST get a word of whether I would be come permanent or let go. Well, all I can say to you is this…
THEYTOOKMYJERRRRB!!
Yes, I was put on a call today to train my replacement pretty much out of the blue. You heard me. That is JACKED. The reason why there is no corporate loyalty is RIGHT THERE. I have been lied to about the security of my job, laid off and then been reoffered my job at less pay in a different state, screwed out of pay and commission more times than I care to remember and told that I don’t “fit the mold” of what they are looking for as I was walked out past an all white staff. Needless to say, my work experience has been teh hilarious. So now I have…
Rules To Being Laid Off/Outsourced/Workforce Reduced/Quitting
Rule #1: Do NOT Ask Employee To Document What They Performed & How.
Does a coach ask a quarterback how he ran the offense before he is traded or cut? Fuck no. Each person is an individual and will tackle the job differently. Not only that, you should know how to do the job any-fucking-way; you train them! I am willing to gauge that 65-70% of bosses have NO IDEA what their employees jobs actually entail. It isn’t the leaving employees job to train, it's management. Before you say it is good business, piss off. My blog, my rules.
Rule #2: Never Ask For Ways To Improve.
Usually, a laid off employee couldn’t give a rats ass about closure, and that is what this is all about. I think that communication for the most part should be severed when someone is laid off. Pay them for two weeks, let the do transfers or whatever needs to be done for the job itself and send them on their way. Asking questions about personal feelings is not professional, especially if being laid off or non-expensed (the official term for an ending contract for some reason) isn’t personal! It’s a business decision to let the employee go, it is a business decision for the employee not to want to talk about it because they may just give you the whatfor.
Rule #3: Don’t Ask For What Was Not Provided.
Now training is what you make of it. I have had a total combined training time of 12 weeks. THREE MONTHS! And I learned very little about what the actual job was. You see, training is like driving. A book can only tell you so much; it is about getting in there and doing it. Hell, I wasn’t even TRAINED for the most part! The person I replaced said it was easier to just do it than explain it. I just got tossed into it! I was better for it because most jobs are better if you just dive right in. Besides, I’m dumb as hell and I am sure it is best that no one ever learns from me. Ask Jen.
Ah…had to get that out. Not going to lie to you, I was a little pissed. THEYTOOKMUHJERB! I will be back this Friday, maybe before then. Friday is payday and I am totally down to break some stuff if anyone is with me. Until then, stay up.
Chachi Out.
Now for the big news. As many of you know, I preordered NCAA Football 08 for the X-Box360 and I was pretty damn pumped about it. Well, I played two games yesterday and it is time for the first ever installment of…
CHACHI’S VIDEO GAME MADNESS!!
Today’s Game: NCAA Football 08!
So last night I did my usual. I picked my team (went with the Colorado Buffaloes because I am a glutton for punishment), created my players (myself and Griff. No Rick and I will tell you why later) and started my recruiting. I tell you what, recruiting in this game is a good idea gone annoying. I do like the talking to the recruit to see what interests them, but it is cumbersome to have to do that for 22-25 recruits EACH WEEK. The thought is awesome but the execution is a little overbearing.
Secondly, the interface is hella clunky. Maybe it’s just the lag in the wireless controller but it felt like the game (in menus and in actual games) was unresponsive. Just navigating the Top 25 was a damn hassle. Oh, and Arkansas is rated WAY TOO HIGH. Just my personal opinion. Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t BAD to the point of hating it I just expected more from “next-gen”. I still think it’s the wireless controllers that is causing the lag, it was the same thing in NCAA Football 07 for the 360 and the PS2. Small gripe.
Now on to the in-game action! All I can say is that visually it is impressive. The atmosphere of the “Rocky Mountain Shootout/Showdown” was pretty bad ass, especially the recreation of Mile High Stadium (FUCK Invesco Field, and no one does it like NFL 2K5) and the aura of the college game, which I had the privilege of seeing in 2001-2002 (I think, I was totally blitzed). From the kickoff I felt that something was wrong. In a good way, but wrong. The I realized it. After dropping back in the pocket and getting sacked before the zoom out for the passing occurred I noticed that 60 fps may be too many.
Now I know that more frames equals more fluidity and animations, but really think about it. With all those frames, a dropback motion is overdone to the point of Ryu throwing a fireball in SFIII. I know throwing off the back-foot takes off from the velocity but when you are throwing a fucking slant you don’t take A SEVEN STEP DROP! Literally. It fells like your drop back takes forever and by the time your feet are set, someone is in your face. Or even better, your receivers don’t run their route. I don’t know if this is a glitch or what, but I called for a go route (play action timing to boot) and as I rolled out…the receiver ran a quick hitch route. If you don’t know what that means, imagine going to see Prince and getting Sanjaya.
Now I will admit that last year I raped the CPU and online players with Georgia Tech’s the go route and Post/Play Action Screen (hard to pull off, but like the self congratulatory reach around is WELL WORTH IT) with Calvin Johnson/Tashard Choice and maybe ran the ball…three times. EVER. It was not worth it to run the ball because the passing game was so effective. Hell, look at my numbers for the first season in 07 (Keep in mind, this was me as a created player):
348/401 (att/comp)
5,714 yards
61 Touchdowns
4 Interceptions (Three in one game against USC)
242.7 Passing Efficiency Rating (No idea what that means. Rick, clarification?)
This was on All-American difficulty and I ran roughshod. Yet I only had 612 rushing yards. AS A TEAM. It was like trying to stop a bro rape. You can try and you may even succeed, but in the end the scars are just as bad if not worse had you just went along with it. This year is the EXACT OPPOSITE. The go route is ineffective at best because even the shittiest cornerback can keep up with the best receivers. Oh, and if he is shorter by a foot then his vertical is a small child. It is bullshit; every other pass over the middle is picked off. And don’t even THINK about throwing to the sidelines (I do a lot of screens and slants) because since there is only ONE FUCKING CAMERA VIEW (another gripe altogether) it is a surprise of how many people are over there waiting to pick you off. I swear they had a six man blitz, Griff double covered, a spy, single coverage on my tight end and other wide out so when I threw the screen to what should have been a wide open fullback…he was double covered. WHAT THE FUCK?! Are they running the 5-4-5 defense? This isn’t SOCCER!
What is even more annoying is the effectiveness of the running game. Now I am all about clock management, blistering defense and effectively running the football (ask Griff about how many times I would have three backs over 100 yards against him in Madden) but the run game is WAAAAAY to effective in this game. Unless they stack the line (and vice versa) you are guaranteed at least 4 yards a carry without trying because your back always falls forward. Case in point, against Ohio State (who has a pretty stout run defense) I got 184 yards on 22 carries and got four touchdowns. In the Horseshoe. On All-American (I may try Heisman, but I want to fucking win) in a nationally televised game. That doesn’t happen, ever. On the flip side, I threw four interceptions with two of those coming from timing routes where the receiver RAN THE WRONG ROUTE! This game totally needs a passing oriented camera. The only downside to the running game is that you will fumble. A lot and for no reason. You will get the SHIT smacked out of you and stumble for 8 more yards but someone will get stiff armed by you and you drop the ball and keep running. It is really hit or miss: realistic but rather unrealistic at the same time.
The presentation of the game is awesome. You feel a sense of self worth when you break off a huge run (which happens a hell of a lot more than in the last version) and you REALLY feel good when you see the replay of a long touchdown pass (which RARELY happens. There are no blown coverages in this game but linebacker overshoot or miss their gaps all the time which is why big runs are less fulfilling). Although the stadium looks amped up the sound doesn’t match the excitement. The screen doesn’t shake and no one gets rattled. Oh, except me as QB because when the crowd gets loud I cant even find my asshole.
Overall, I think the added realism actually hurts the game in some areas (the impossibility of the passing game, the dominance of the running game, overblown recruiting) but helps out a lot in others (the return game is a lot more realistic, the presentation is awesome and trick plays/open field running is bad ass). The game is fun and a step up from 2007’s version. However, it isn’t perfect and these issues are major. The mastery of the passing game is a big part of college football (Ask Michigan. Oh, snap!) so the difficulty of getting a good passing attack going will turn some gamers off. However, the running game is realistic (If you are playing against Ohio State or West Virginia’s defense every week. Oh, I am on a ROLL!) and much like old school Nebraska or Notre Dame if done correctly you are unstoppable. The look and feel of the game is up there with RPG’s because you feel like you are at a college football game (visually, anyway) and the announcers aren’t as annoying as everyone makes them out to be. In the end, it is a good game, worth the $60 (GASP!) for the X-Box 360 and if you have HDMI…fuck yeah. Never had it, but I don’t need sex if I have that kind of graphical euphoria. I don’t have to take my X-Box out to dinner or hear it tell me I’m insensitive, either. So I give NCAA Football 08 for the X-Box 360…
8 out of 10 Controllers!
(Not as arcade-like as 07, which is both good and bad. The atmosphere is awesome but the new additions like Campus Legend and the new recruiting are hit or miss for some people. Can recommend for any system. Go State U!)
So it is official. As some of you know, I became a contractor when I parted ways with “The Q” a few months ago and I knew my time was limited. Despite the total idiocy that came with the end of my access (But not the end of my contract which cost me three and a half working days worth of pay, which is a pretty penny at my salary) and the irritation that is the internal interview process (Not having the courtesy to email me that I didn’t get a position when I fucking work there, interviewing me three times to say I don’t have the experience they are looking for) I enjoyed my time here and was hoping to at LEAST get a word of whether I would be come permanent or let go. Well, all I can say to you is this…
THEYTOOKMYJERRRRB!!
Yes, I was put on a call today to train my replacement pretty much out of the blue. You heard me. That is JACKED. The reason why there is no corporate loyalty is RIGHT THERE. I have been lied to about the security of my job, laid off and then been reoffered my job at less pay in a different state, screwed out of pay and commission more times than I care to remember and told that I don’t “fit the mold” of what they are looking for as I was walked out past an all white staff. Needless to say, my work experience has been teh hilarious. So now I have…
Rules To Being Laid Off/Outsourced/Workforce Reduced/Quitting
Rule #1: Do NOT Ask Employee To Document What They Performed & How.
Does a coach ask a quarterback how he ran the offense before he is traded or cut? Fuck no. Each person is an individual and will tackle the job differently. Not only that, you should know how to do the job any-fucking-way; you train them! I am willing to gauge that 65-70% of bosses have NO IDEA what their employees jobs actually entail. It isn’t the leaving employees job to train, it's management. Before you say it is good business, piss off. My blog, my rules.
Rule #2: Never Ask For Ways To Improve.
Usually, a laid off employee couldn’t give a rats ass about closure, and that is what this is all about. I think that communication for the most part should be severed when someone is laid off. Pay them for two weeks, let the do transfers or whatever needs to be done for the job itself and send them on their way. Asking questions about personal feelings is not professional, especially if being laid off or non-expensed (the official term for an ending contract for some reason) isn’t personal! It’s a business decision to let the employee go, it is a business decision for the employee not to want to talk about it because they may just give you the whatfor.
Rule #3: Don’t Ask For What Was Not Provided.
Now training is what you make of it. I have had a total combined training time of 12 weeks. THREE MONTHS! And I learned very little about what the actual job was. You see, training is like driving. A book can only tell you so much; it is about getting in there and doing it. Hell, I wasn’t even TRAINED for the most part! The person I replaced said it was easier to just do it than explain it. I just got tossed into it! I was better for it because most jobs are better if you just dive right in. Besides, I’m dumb as hell and I am sure it is best that no one ever learns from me. Ask Jen.
Ah…had to get that out. Not going to lie to you, I was a little pissed. THEYTOOKMUHJERB! I will be back this Friday, maybe before then. Friday is payday and I am totally down to break some stuff if anyone is with me. Until then, stay up.
Chachi Out.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Down And Out At Wal-Mart
So I learned something today:
Wal-Mart is the funniest place on Earth.
I went to The Mart to get a replacement controller for my PS2. I have a hankering for some Smash Court Tennis 2 and I broke my old controller…because of Smash Court Tennis 2. I smashed that controller good, fuck a Kim Clijisters! The woman is retired and pregnant, dammit! Anyway, as I was making my way through the masses of ugly, ugly people I heard the following pieces of Americana conversation:
To an I would guess 8 or 9 year old boy:
“Put down that “Guns and Ammo”, we got that same issue at home!” (This was probably funny to just me)
“Why would someone drink bottled water when it comes from the hose for fucking free?!” (I’m sorry; I can’t replicate the imbred anger in this man’s voice. Just trust me that it was hilarious)
“Bro, they are out of Kilo Axe Body Spray?! Bogus!” (First off…who says “bogus” aside from Bill and Ted? Secondly, I turned the corner to realize they were redneck bros which literally broke my brain. I’m still having trouble forming sentences)
“That’s a fine piece of tail” (This would be normal except it was a dude my age, or at least I would think with his beard and full on Iroc-ing mullet. Oh, and he was talking about Hannah Montana…who is about 14)
“Whooooooooo, Tim McGraw!” (Now this isn’t funny as much as a I fucking hate Tim Mc-fucking-Graw. Fuck him in his stupid cowboy hat wearing head. Depressing ass mother-fucker. If you like Tim McGraw then fuck you, too. We can take it to the stage)
“NASCAR Spelling Game?” (This was actually me. Can you say “oxymoron”?)
To top it all off, there was a lady in the line across from me with SIX kids. All of them crying. I said under my breath:
“God, I could never have more than two kids.”
Unfortunately, the cashier heard me and asked:
“Yeah, more than two is a lot of darn kids. Why not?”
My filter was off (like it is ever ON) and I slipped up and said:
“Only got two hands. Out of ammunition after that.”
Oops. Or so I thought until she responded:
“Whenever. I only need one leg to stand on. After two slaps I’m breaking a foot off in their ass if you catch my drift…oh I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to say…!”
To which I responded:
“That may have been the most awesome thing anyone has ever said at any point in time anywhere in history.”
Peeps, sometimes life is magic. Oh, and I got "eyeball suprise sexed" four times. To all the women that get ogled, I officially apologize on behalf of men even if they won’t. I felt so…violated. Curse these rogue, yet boyish good looks! I guess when you are Grade A, All-American Come-And-Get-It, they really come and get it. Whether you are down or not. Stay up, I’ll be back soon.
Chachi Out.
Oh, and with summer coming up you gotta play it safe around power lines!
Louie the lighting bug, fishes!
Wal-Mart is the funniest place on Earth.
I went to The Mart to get a replacement controller for my PS2. I have a hankering for some Smash Court Tennis 2 and I broke my old controller…because of Smash Court Tennis 2. I smashed that controller good, fuck a Kim Clijisters! The woman is retired and pregnant, dammit! Anyway, as I was making my way through the masses of ugly, ugly people I heard the following pieces of Americana conversation:
To an I would guess 8 or 9 year old boy:
“Put down that “Guns and Ammo”, we got that same issue at home!” (This was probably funny to just me)
“Why would someone drink bottled water when it comes from the hose for fucking free?!” (I’m sorry; I can’t replicate the imbred anger in this man’s voice. Just trust me that it was hilarious)
“Bro, they are out of Kilo Axe Body Spray?! Bogus!” (First off…who says “bogus” aside from Bill and Ted? Secondly, I turned the corner to realize they were redneck bros which literally broke my brain. I’m still having trouble forming sentences)
“That’s a fine piece of tail” (This would be normal except it was a dude my age, or at least I would think with his beard and full on Iroc-ing mullet. Oh, and he was talking about Hannah Montana…who is about 14)
“Whooooooooo, Tim McGraw!” (Now this isn’t funny as much as a I fucking hate Tim Mc-fucking-Graw. Fuck him in his stupid cowboy hat wearing head. Depressing ass mother-fucker. If you like Tim McGraw then fuck you, too. We can take it to the stage)
“NASCAR Spelling Game?” (This was actually me. Can you say “oxymoron”?)
To top it all off, there was a lady in the line across from me with SIX kids. All of them crying. I said under my breath:
“God, I could never have more than two kids.”
Unfortunately, the cashier heard me and asked:
“Yeah, more than two is a lot of darn kids. Why not?”
My filter was off (like it is ever ON) and I slipped up and said:
“Only got two hands. Out of ammunition after that.”
Oops. Or so I thought until she responded:
“Whenever. I only need one leg to stand on. After two slaps I’m breaking a foot off in their ass if you catch my drift…oh I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to say…!”
To which I responded:
“That may have been the most awesome thing anyone has ever said at any point in time anywhere in history.”
Peeps, sometimes life is magic. Oh, and I got "eyeball suprise sexed" four times. To all the women that get ogled, I officially apologize on behalf of men even if they won’t. I felt so…violated. Curse these rogue, yet boyish good looks! I guess when you are Grade A, All-American Come-And-Get-It, they really come and get it. Whether you are down or not. Stay up, I’ll be back soon.
Chachi Out.
Oh, and with summer coming up you gotta play it safe around power lines!
Louie the lighting bug, fishes!
Friday, July 13, 2007
Okay, So I Was A Little Late.
What is up, peeps! It is Friday so you know what that means! Its time for…
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
Let’s get started this week with a former #1 video!
20. nobodyknows+ - Hero’s Come Back! (Last Week #17, Four weeks at #1)
It looks like the former Countdown Kings are on their way out. Naruto update! Zach pointed out something very interesting: those guys never get any damn stronger (aside from Sasuke, and he had to go all Sith to get there). They train every damn week for 218 episodes and they have the same three moves, just now with uber-cool flash effects. Laaaaaame. The Power Rangers got new Zords once a month, but Tommy’s dad TOTALLY owned a dealership. That is four nerd references in one review. Yep, I’m single for a reason.
19. Gym Class Heroes – Clothes Off (New Entry)
Jermaine Stewart lives! I just downloaded this song (I cant find the album in stores anywhere) and needless to say, this will be a ringtone for one of none females that call me because I sure as hell wont put it on a dude. I like Gym Class Heroes (Although “Cupid’s Chokehold” worked my fucking nerves) and anyone that covers an 80’s classic automatically gets some play.
18. Yuna Ito – I’m Here (Last Week #13, One week at #1)
*Sniff* My baby is almost gone! After the longest run in history (topping May J’s “Here We Go” and Nelly Furtado’s “Say It Right”) Yuna Ito looks to end her FIVE MONTH RUN on the Countdown with this former #1. Here is hoping for a new video soon!
17. Kanye West feat. Daft Punk – Stronger (Last Week #20)
Okay, this song finally has stopped annoying me. I just heard the “Cant Tell Me Nothing” mixtape and all I can say is that his album may not be too bad. “Late Registration” kind of fell off but “Graduation” looks like it may be up to “College Dropout” levels of great. Also, someone took Cassie off the milk carton and put her in this video. I guess I would plunder that.
16. Enrique Iglesias – Do You Know (Last Week #15)
Enrique falls a spot this week with his latest video. Something about Enrique in Spanish says…”stalker”. Which means he is my fucking idol because stalking is how I roll. Ask Kimmy, I’m in her living room right now.
15. Abingdon Boys School – Nephilim (Last Week #18)
So I got the Live Earth performance of Abingdon Boys School (YES!) only to find the file had no fucking sound. How is THAT for defeating the god damn purpose?! Even still, this video kicks ass.
14. AI – Brand New Day (Last Week # 16)
AI is slowly making her way up the Countdown, moving up a modest two spots this week. She also had a performance at Live Earth (She performed “I Wanna Know” but I would have preferred “Uh Uh” but you cant win them all) which HAD THE DAMN SOUND! Good stuff.
13. Orange Range – Ika Summer (Last Week #10)
Mark it down: 7/25/2007. Orange Range’s Greatest Hits album “Range” hits stores. Can I get a hell yeah?!
12. Hearts Grow - Mimawari (Last Week #14)
Yay! Hearts Grow moves a little closer to the Top Ten this week! So back on this whole Naruto thing. Can anyone tell me if the Hurricane Chronicles (or Shippuuden, I guess) is manga based or just made up? I stopped reading after a while and if it is I want to get caught up. Eh, just curious.
11. Gackt – RETURNER ~Yami no Shuuen~ (Last Week #12)
Does it get any hotter?! Gackt is one step away from the Top Ten! I finally found an episode of the show this song is from/video is based on. All I can say is that I have NO IDEA what the hell is going on because it isn’t subtitled. Doesn’t matter, he is still teh hawt and this video is bad ass.
10. Daddy Yankee feat. Fergie – Impacto (Last Week #8)
No es bueno! Daddy Yankee seems to be unable to carry the mannish Fergie any farther as they fall back two spots this week to begin the Top Ten. You know, I was looking at some old video of “Kids Incorporated” and all I can say is that Fergie almost resembled something…human. Too bad that ended quick.
9. Common – The People (Last Week #11)
Common jumps two spots this week to get is first Top Ten video! This is big because for the first time ever there are more than two hip hop songs in the upper echelon! Could this be the start of a trend? Fiddy and No Talent Nelly moved their albums back so maybe…hip hop won’t suck for a few months.
8. Maroon 5 – Makes Me Wonder (Last Week #5, Three weeks at #1)
Maroon 5 falls out of the Top Five for the first time since May this week. Anyone else think the rest of the band looks a tad bit like the homeless? I’m just saying.
7. Foxxi MisQ feat. Miss Monday – Party Booty Shake (Last Week #9)
The ladies of Foxxi MisQ continue their run this week of having TWO videos in the Top Ten. I honestly prefer this video over “Luxury Ride” because…yeah the outfits fit a little snugger. Shut the hell up, I NEED THIS!
6. T.I. – Big Things Poppin’ (Last Week #7)
So I just listen to “TI vs. TIP” the whole way through earlier this week. Aside from a few annoying bits (Some “booty butt cheeks” rhymes, whatever Eminem was talking about in “Touchdown”) it was actually one of the better albums I have heard. His style is distinitive, but not repetitive (“King” worked my nerves with that. All songs were an extension of another). Because of that, T.I. moves up a spot.
5. L`Arc~en~Ciel – Seventh Heaven (Last Week #6)
We are into the Top Five and look who it is! It’s everyone’s favorite J-Rock band (not named Glay, I mean)! Or at least mine. Hyde and company are looking quite good right now as this song and video have a perfect summer flair. Let’s keep on moving!
4. Abingdon Boys School – Howling (Last Week #3, One week at #1)
TM and the Boys hang on ever so slightly this week, falling only one spot. Oh, has “Darker Than Black” been liscensed? I cant find the new episodes anywhere (the last one I have is I think Episode 7) and I just started watching it again. I’m up to episode two!
3. Foxxi MisQ feat Zeebra – Luxury Ride (Last Week #4)
Mmmm…more Foxxi MisQ. The ladies bring Zeebra along as they make it to the Top Three. Um…all I have is that they are sexy. Screw that, that’s all I NEED TO SAY. Gimme some of that.
2. Yui – My Generation (Last Week #2) [Three Weeks at #2]
For the third straight week, Yui holds on the runner up position with “My Generation”. Time for the Bleach update! It’s filler. A lot of filler, at least for the next month or so (at a minimum the next three episodes) which is good and bad. The filler has actually been rather funny (Hitsugaya playing soccer, Ikkaku in the kendo club, etc.) but the Shonen Jump Weekly chapters are kicking SO MUCH ASS that I cant wait to see what they do animated. Eh, no big deal. Well, with Yui at #2, it looks like #1 is…
1. UGK feat. Outkast – International Players Anthem (Last Week #4, Two weeks at #1)
I choose yooooou! UGK and Outkast hold on for a second straight week at the top! Where in the hell is UGK’s album at? Did I miss it or was it pushed back? Anyway, this video is tight bangin (T’Sheezy in the house!) and maybe the only one that can outdo Abingdon Boys School in a kilt is Andre Three Stacks. Even still, they hold it down again.
That is all for this week! Can UGK make it three weeks in a row? Or will Yui FINALLY capture her third #1 video of 2007? Or can Foxxi MisQ ride to the top spot? Tune in next week to find out!
So I will be reviewing Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix either tomorrow or Sunday, mainly because I am exhausted after fighting off that sinus infection (which is still kicking my ass in the mornings) and didn’t to the Countdown last night. A bit of a spoiler: Steve Nash isn’t in it. NBA joke…bite me. My blog, my rules. Until next time, stay up.
Chachi Out.
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
Let’s get started this week with a former #1 video!
20. nobodyknows+ - Hero’s Come Back! (Last Week #17, Four weeks at #1)
It looks like the former Countdown Kings are on their way out. Naruto update! Zach pointed out something very interesting: those guys never get any damn stronger (aside from Sasuke, and he had to go all Sith to get there). They train every damn week for 218 episodes and they have the same three moves, just now with uber-cool flash effects. Laaaaaame. The Power Rangers got new Zords once a month, but Tommy’s dad TOTALLY owned a dealership. That is four nerd references in one review. Yep, I’m single for a reason.
19. Gym Class Heroes – Clothes Off (New Entry)
Jermaine Stewart lives! I just downloaded this song (I cant find the album in stores anywhere) and needless to say, this will be a ringtone for one of none females that call me because I sure as hell wont put it on a dude. I like Gym Class Heroes (Although “Cupid’s Chokehold” worked my fucking nerves) and anyone that covers an 80’s classic automatically gets some play.
18. Yuna Ito – I’m Here (Last Week #13, One week at #1)
*Sniff* My baby is almost gone! After the longest run in history (topping May J’s “Here We Go” and Nelly Furtado’s “Say It Right”) Yuna Ito looks to end her FIVE MONTH RUN on the Countdown with this former #1. Here is hoping for a new video soon!
17. Kanye West feat. Daft Punk – Stronger (Last Week #20)
Okay, this song finally has stopped annoying me. I just heard the “Cant Tell Me Nothing” mixtape and all I can say is that his album may not be too bad. “Late Registration” kind of fell off but “Graduation” looks like it may be up to “College Dropout” levels of great. Also, someone took Cassie off the milk carton and put her in this video. I guess I would plunder that.
16. Enrique Iglesias – Do You Know (Last Week #15)
Enrique falls a spot this week with his latest video. Something about Enrique in Spanish says…”stalker”. Which means he is my fucking idol because stalking is how I roll. Ask Kimmy, I’m in her living room right now.
15. Abingdon Boys School – Nephilim (Last Week #18)
So I got the Live Earth performance of Abingdon Boys School (YES!) only to find the file had no fucking sound. How is THAT for defeating the god damn purpose?! Even still, this video kicks ass.
14. AI – Brand New Day (Last Week # 16)
AI is slowly making her way up the Countdown, moving up a modest two spots this week. She also had a performance at Live Earth (She performed “I Wanna Know” but I would have preferred “Uh Uh” but you cant win them all) which HAD THE DAMN SOUND! Good stuff.
13. Orange Range – Ika Summer (Last Week #10)
Mark it down: 7/25/2007. Orange Range’s Greatest Hits album “Range” hits stores. Can I get a hell yeah?!
12. Hearts Grow - Mimawari (Last Week #14)
Yay! Hearts Grow moves a little closer to the Top Ten this week! So back on this whole Naruto thing. Can anyone tell me if the Hurricane Chronicles (or Shippuuden, I guess) is manga based or just made up? I stopped reading after a while and if it is I want to get caught up. Eh, just curious.
11. Gackt – RETURNER ~Yami no Shuuen~ (Last Week #12)
Does it get any hotter?! Gackt is one step away from the Top Ten! I finally found an episode of the show this song is from/video is based on. All I can say is that I have NO IDEA what the hell is going on because it isn’t subtitled. Doesn’t matter, he is still teh hawt and this video is bad ass.
10. Daddy Yankee feat. Fergie – Impacto (Last Week #8)
No es bueno! Daddy Yankee seems to be unable to carry the mannish Fergie any farther as they fall back two spots this week to begin the Top Ten. You know, I was looking at some old video of “Kids Incorporated” and all I can say is that Fergie almost resembled something…human. Too bad that ended quick.
9. Common – The People (Last Week #11)
Common jumps two spots this week to get is first Top Ten video! This is big because for the first time ever there are more than two hip hop songs in the upper echelon! Could this be the start of a trend? Fiddy and No Talent Nelly moved their albums back so maybe…hip hop won’t suck for a few months.
8. Maroon 5 – Makes Me Wonder (Last Week #5, Three weeks at #1)
Maroon 5 falls out of the Top Five for the first time since May this week. Anyone else think the rest of the band looks a tad bit like the homeless? I’m just saying.
7. Foxxi MisQ feat. Miss Monday – Party Booty Shake (Last Week #9)
The ladies of Foxxi MisQ continue their run this week of having TWO videos in the Top Ten. I honestly prefer this video over “Luxury Ride” because…yeah the outfits fit a little snugger. Shut the hell up, I NEED THIS!
6. T.I. – Big Things Poppin’ (Last Week #7)
So I just listen to “TI vs. TIP” the whole way through earlier this week. Aside from a few annoying bits (Some “booty butt cheeks” rhymes, whatever Eminem was talking about in “Touchdown”) it was actually one of the better albums I have heard. His style is distinitive, but not repetitive (“King” worked my nerves with that. All songs were an extension of another). Because of that, T.I. moves up a spot.
5. L`Arc~en~Ciel – Seventh Heaven (Last Week #6)
We are into the Top Five and look who it is! It’s everyone’s favorite J-Rock band (not named Glay, I mean)! Or at least mine. Hyde and company are looking quite good right now as this song and video have a perfect summer flair. Let’s keep on moving!
4. Abingdon Boys School – Howling (Last Week #3, One week at #1)
TM and the Boys hang on ever so slightly this week, falling only one spot. Oh, has “Darker Than Black” been liscensed? I cant find the new episodes anywhere (the last one I have is I think Episode 7) and I just started watching it again. I’m up to episode two!
3. Foxxi MisQ feat Zeebra – Luxury Ride (Last Week #4)
Mmmm…more Foxxi MisQ. The ladies bring Zeebra along as they make it to the Top Three. Um…all I have is that they are sexy. Screw that, that’s all I NEED TO SAY. Gimme some of that.
2. Yui – My Generation (Last Week #2) [Three Weeks at #2]
For the third straight week, Yui holds on the runner up position with “My Generation”. Time for the Bleach update! It’s filler. A lot of filler, at least for the next month or so (at a minimum the next three episodes) which is good and bad. The filler has actually been rather funny (Hitsugaya playing soccer, Ikkaku in the kendo club, etc.) but the Shonen Jump Weekly chapters are kicking SO MUCH ASS that I cant wait to see what they do animated. Eh, no big deal. Well, with Yui at #2, it looks like #1 is…
1. UGK feat. Outkast – International Players Anthem (Last Week #4, Two weeks at #1)
I choose yooooou! UGK and Outkast hold on for a second straight week at the top! Where in the hell is UGK’s album at? Did I miss it or was it pushed back? Anyway, this video is tight bangin (T’Sheezy in the house!) and maybe the only one that can outdo Abingdon Boys School in a kilt is Andre Three Stacks. Even still, they hold it down again.
That is all for this week! Can UGK make it three weeks in a row? Or will Yui FINALLY capture her third #1 video of 2007? Or can Foxxi MisQ ride to the top spot? Tune in next week to find out!
So I will be reviewing Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix either tomorrow or Sunday, mainly because I am exhausted after fighting off that sinus infection (which is still kicking my ass in the mornings) and didn’t to the Countdown last night. A bit of a spoiler: Steve Nash isn’t in it. NBA joke…bite me. My blog, my rules. Until next time, stay up.
Chachi Out.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Playing With The Boys!
What is up, peeps?! It is the middle of the week meaning its an unseasonably cold Wednesday! Time for some videogame news! As you may have heard, Sony dropped the price of the PlayStation 3 down $100 to $499 just in time for the fall rush and ahead of the Christmas rush. Now as one that called the forced price drop (I said September in an earlier post last year) I am not impressed. Now had they made this drop right when the Wii started selling like gangbusters (January, Feburary) this would have had more of an impact. Rather than the desperation of now (they are well behind the Wii and the X-Box 360 is ahead and will gain on the Wii after the FFXIII, MGS4 and Devil May Cry 4 non-exclusives become official) it would have been seen as a “oh no you didn’t!” move. Like in boxing when a lesser challenger gets in a good shot in the jaw and then is whooped to high heaven by the upset champ. Instead this move reeks of “we have to do SOMETHING!”
Now onto something else. I am one of many people that did not watch the MLB All-Star Game last night (I’m sure I was watching like…CSPAN or something) featuring odds are the last time I would see Barry Bonds in an All-Star game. Now I was a huge baseball fan from about 1984 until…1998 when the Braves lost their third World Series and I just gave up. However, I have become irritated with this whole Barry Bonds breaking Hank Aaron’s home run record business. Fans, purists, pundits, players, owners and historians are complaining about how Bonds “cheated” to get this many home runs. Well, although nothing has been officially proven (although where there is smoke there is fire) about Barry using any illegal substances, people are all over this. First off, as for the race issue. All I will say is that no one was saying shit when Mark McGwire broke the single season mark the first time. Race may not be a factor for some, but I am just saying. That man looks more like he was using enhancers (which he has actually admitted to) than Barry Bonds does.
Secondly, people want to blame Barry for using steroids or growth hormones. Well, you know what? He is a grown man; if he was using illegal substances (At the time, I cannot stress this enough) then he should be vilified and his records should have a mark next to them or something I guess. The simple fact is that if the fans, owners and yes even other players want to blame someone…
Blame yourselves.
The fans sat back and watched while mediocre players hit 50 home runs, a number that is outlandish at best. The players sat back as their teammates got bigger and bigger, obviously not under there own physical prowess. Owners sat back and let these players use enhancements to uneven the playing field, all while watching attendance records shatter and TV revenues soar. There are about 4 years of baseball (This is a guess, I will say from 1996-2000 but it may be more) that are unaccounted for in terms of the rampant use of performance enhancers. Fans loved the action, players loved the winning and owners loved the money. No one ever took to task the players that were in some cases OBVIOUSLY cheating. I remember looking at Big Mac, Sammy Sosa, Ken Camineti (who has passed away), Ryan Klesko, Gary Sheffield and others and seeing their numbers and how much they exploded…as did their bodies. People saw this and did and said NOTHING. I just stopped being a fan of the game. By fans, players and owners remaining silent you may have just tarnished the game.
You know, I have always been a huge wrestling fan and I remember the steroid scandal in the early and mid-90’s. After a while, I as a fan (and I am happy to say many others) got sick of The Ultimate Warrior, Hulk Hogan, Rick Rude (who has since passed), Warlord and other just obviously enhanced physiques. It was slowing down the action (I will admit, Hogan vs. Warrior at Wrestlemania VI had its drama, albeit plodding) and really just getting old. Not only that, it caused a drop in popularity in the (then) WWF that started the Monday Night Wars, the pushing of smaller superstars (Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels, Mr. Perfect, Steve Austin) and a change in wrestling. Enhanced bodies were out, actual entertainment was in. THIS IS WHAT SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED IN BASEBALL. As soon as the game became a home run derby every afternoon, fans should have demanded a change. You know what? We didn’t. We Just like the commercial said, chicks dig the long ball.
This was a joke, but it was very telling. Baseball lost the aspect of it being a sport of strategy. It was just a show of power. Yes it was entertaining, but in the long run what do you have? A multitude of players annihilating the record books and we don’t know if they were using their skill or the pill (or the needle) to get there. It is very sad if you are a fan. So the next time you complain about Barry Bonds “cheating” remember this: you had a chance to stop it by not watching. The NBA is cleaning up its image due to people tired of the stupidity, same with the NFL. You can not like Barry Bonds for being a prick (Which is my main issue with him. Then again, Ty Cobb was a notorious racist that reportedly stabbed a black man for holding an elevator door for him but people love that cock sucker) but if you hate him for cheating…maybe you should see whether you were all for the long ball 10 years ago. If you were; thems the breaks.
That was REALLY bugging me. Well, I will be back on Friday for the Top 20 Video Countdown and I may also see Harry Potter tonight (definitely will go tomorrow if I don’t go today). Until next time, stay up.
Chachi Out.
Now onto something else. I am one of many people that did not watch the MLB All-Star Game last night (I’m sure I was watching like…CSPAN or something) featuring odds are the last time I would see Barry Bonds in an All-Star game. Now I was a huge baseball fan from about 1984 until…1998 when the Braves lost their third World Series and I just gave up. However, I have become irritated with this whole Barry Bonds breaking Hank Aaron’s home run record business. Fans, purists, pundits, players, owners and historians are complaining about how Bonds “cheated” to get this many home runs. Well, although nothing has been officially proven (although where there is smoke there is fire) about Barry using any illegal substances, people are all over this. First off, as for the race issue. All I will say is that no one was saying shit when Mark McGwire broke the single season mark the first time. Race may not be a factor for some, but I am just saying. That man looks more like he was using enhancers (which he has actually admitted to) than Barry Bonds does.
Secondly, people want to blame Barry for using steroids or growth hormones. Well, you know what? He is a grown man; if he was using illegal substances (At the time, I cannot stress this enough) then he should be vilified and his records should have a mark next to them or something I guess. The simple fact is that if the fans, owners and yes even other players want to blame someone…
Blame yourselves.
The fans sat back and watched while mediocre players hit 50 home runs, a number that is outlandish at best. The players sat back as their teammates got bigger and bigger, obviously not under there own physical prowess. Owners sat back and let these players use enhancements to uneven the playing field, all while watching attendance records shatter and TV revenues soar. There are about 4 years of baseball (This is a guess, I will say from 1996-2000 but it may be more) that are unaccounted for in terms of the rampant use of performance enhancers. Fans loved the action, players loved the winning and owners loved the money. No one ever took to task the players that were in some cases OBVIOUSLY cheating. I remember looking at Big Mac, Sammy Sosa, Ken Camineti (who has passed away), Ryan Klesko, Gary Sheffield and others and seeing their numbers and how much they exploded…as did their bodies. People saw this and did and said NOTHING. I just stopped being a fan of the game. By fans, players and owners remaining silent you may have just tarnished the game.
You know, I have always been a huge wrestling fan and I remember the steroid scandal in the early and mid-90’s. After a while, I as a fan (and I am happy to say many others) got sick of The Ultimate Warrior, Hulk Hogan, Rick Rude (who has since passed), Warlord and other just obviously enhanced physiques. It was slowing down the action (I will admit, Hogan vs. Warrior at Wrestlemania VI had its drama, albeit plodding) and really just getting old. Not only that, it caused a drop in popularity in the (then) WWF that started the Monday Night Wars, the pushing of smaller superstars (Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels, Mr. Perfect, Steve Austin) and a change in wrestling. Enhanced bodies were out, actual entertainment was in. THIS IS WHAT SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED IN BASEBALL. As soon as the game became a home run derby every afternoon, fans should have demanded a change. You know what? We didn’t. We Just like the commercial said, chicks dig the long ball.
This was a joke, but it was very telling. Baseball lost the aspect of it being a sport of strategy. It was just a show of power. Yes it was entertaining, but in the long run what do you have? A multitude of players annihilating the record books and we don’t know if they were using their skill or the pill (or the needle) to get there. It is very sad if you are a fan. So the next time you complain about Barry Bonds “cheating” remember this: you had a chance to stop it by not watching. The NBA is cleaning up its image due to people tired of the stupidity, same with the NFL. You can not like Barry Bonds for being a prick (Which is my main issue with him. Then again, Ty Cobb was a notorious racist that reportedly stabbed a black man for holding an elevator door for him but people love that cock sucker) but if you hate him for cheating…maybe you should see whether you were all for the long ball 10 years ago. If you were; thems the breaks.
That was REALLY bugging me. Well, I will be back on Friday for the Top 20 Video Countdown and I may also see Harry Potter tonight (definitely will go tomorrow if I don’t go today). Until next time, stay up.
Chachi Out.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
You Saw It Here First: "Skeet" Will Be In The Dictionary By 2010.
Well, you knew after "bling" that the American vocabulary was fair game. Now it is official:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070710/ap_on_re_us/dictionary_s_new_words
"Crunk" is in the dictionary. I would like to thank Lil' Jon (Along with Sam and Bo from the Eastside Boyz. Yeah...is spells "Sam-"bo"), Pastor Troy, Youngbloodz and Pitbull for making this all possible. Special thanks to Dave Chappelle. I'm sure when my mother and uncle got sprayed with hoses in Chicago and my dad got chased by dogs in Tennessee, this is what they got all those ass-whoopin's for.
Let's work on "ballin" for 2008!
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070710/ap_on_re_us/dictionary_s_new_words
"Crunk" is in the dictionary. I would like to thank Lil' Jon (Along with Sam and Bo from the Eastside Boyz. Yeah...is spells "Sam-"bo"), Pastor Troy, Youngbloodz and Pitbull for making this all possible. Special thanks to Dave Chappelle. I'm sure when my mother and uncle got sprayed with hoses in Chicago and my dad got chased by dogs in Tennessee, this is what they got all those ass-whoopin's for.
Let's work on "ballin" for 2008!
Free Stuff, Worship and Race-Mixing? Sounds Like Tuesday To Me!
What is up, fishes? Man, it has been a very awkward week. All one day of it. First things first; I Poppa freaks all the honeys. Beat you to it, Griff! Anyway, I have finally got my computer how I want it (I was going to put a floppy drive in it, but I haven’t used a floppy since…2002? 2001?) and that means I have a surplus of parts that I can’t use because they are too old, although some of them I got last-fucking-year. God, I hate technology. So due to that, there are some parts that I will be getting rid of. Here is a list of some (Not all, there are others I need to make sure that still work) of the items I cannot use anymore:
Two (2) 300GB IDE/ATA Hard Drives
One (1) Dual Layer DVD Burner (+/-)/CD Burner Combo Drive
One (1) 48X CDRW Drive
One (1) 256MB ATI Video Card (Which may or may not work. Had blue spots on the screen one day so I changed it out. You fix, it’s yours.
Not much, but it is a pretty good haul.
So I was watching “The Price of Atheism” on http://www.milkandcookies.com/ and I must say that first off all religion is stupid. ALL OF IT. There, I said it. Most of my friends believe in…stuff (Griff is a Muslim, Zach is a gun-wielding Buddhist, Nolan and Nick are Mormon, Rick is a Snake Handler, I think Jen is Catholic which explains a hell of a lot) and although I respect your choice to believe in a God that has yet to be proven to be, we all know why religion exists:
To Keep People In Line: Let’s not forget, people in the past (like…1973) were one hot day away from fucking goats and drinking kittens blood. Hell, some did. The books of faith were created to have something to keep people from marrying lemurs and throwing feces at each other.
Money: The only thing that makes more money that Microsoft and Pokemon is religion. Anyone ever noticed how most church GOERS are poor while most church OWNERS are ballin out of control? Look at Bishop Don Juan! He is a damn BISHOP! That’s like a card carrying member of the Catholic gods’ entourage! And we all know you can find G-O-D in the back of the C-L-U-B.
To Justify Being A Fucktard: Muslims blowing shit up in the name of Allah? Supposedly a divine right and justified action against non-believers. Crusades? God’s way to make sure everyone is part of his dumbass Christian kingdom and to sword-serve those that ain’t down with the big J-C. No one knows what Buddha does because…well Buddhist don’t cause no trouble because they just want to do the Super Bowl Shuffle. Doesn’t make them any less lame. Simple fact is that as long as you have people dumb enough to believe, you can justify your actions by saying the invisible guy upstairs (no matter what his name is) says you should do it.
People Are Stupid: You know it, I know it and cats know it. The simple fact is…humans want to believe in something to explain what they cannot understand. From the days when people feared the rain to global warming now. If someone just says “God did it!” then people can just go back to their business knowing that it has been explained. When it really HASN’T because no one can prove the existence of their “God” over another.
You know, how come no one worships something that they see all the time? No one has SEEN God. But they let people do the dumbest shit in its name. If I were into religion (Which I am not anymore, after Griff wouldn’t let me into the Muslims. Three years and I am still an undrafted free agent) you know what I would worship? The moon.
Hell, it makes more sense than any other religion AND the Mooninites have the Quad-laser! I’m just saying, if Jesus had a Quad-laser and moon-aided jumping ability…maybe he could have taken down the Romans. I’m just saying.
Last thing. Interracial dating:
Now THIS is hilarious. All I can say is this. If the race of who you date is important to you, that’s cool. There is nothing racist about a white woman that will only date a white man just as much as there is nothing racist about a black woman that only wants to date black men. Like I said before about being shallow, it is your choice to discriminate and be picky about who you will date. The fact is that you could be missing out. On another note, I am sick of people (Black women is who I hear this from the most but everyone does) who sincerely think that because one person fucked you over that all of that race are bad.
As many of you know, I was in the Black Student Union at UCCS. Several of the Black woman told me theythought that “Brothas aint shit!” yet got mad when these same brothas (That aint shit) dated a white woman (Including yours truly, who wasnt DATING a white girl.I just got seen in public with one and got damn near assaulted. I'll tell you the story sometime). Well tough shit. Maybe it is you. Hell, I know I am single because I am an asshole and manic depressive (not a good combination). I used to think it was 80% me being crazy and 20% women being stupid but I accepted that I am just a fucking nutcase and it is 100% me. So even if every woman who I have tried to date was confused, crazy, vindictive or spread herself around like strawberry preserves (Which they have been, sans two and that was my own damn fault for fucking that up. One was fricking Puerto Rican! You cant get any hotter than that!) I couldn’t blame them because I have issues myself. No one is perfect, no matter the race.
If you have a preference in race, I believe it should be respected. That’s just me; I honestly don’t care anymore because everyone has their issues. You find someone that fits you, and if that person happens to be your preference then that’s great. If they fit you but they aren’t your preferred race and you say the nay no, that is fine. Just don’t complain when they find someone outside of their race that makes them happy. That goes to all of you. Quite simply, it aint none of your business. Take it home, Carlton!
Although…Stevie is BLIND, so how would he know what race a woman is truly? I kid, I kid. Stay up, peeps.
Chachi Out.
Two (2) 300GB IDE/ATA Hard Drives
One (1) Dual Layer DVD Burner (+/-)/CD Burner Combo Drive
One (1) 48X CDRW Drive
One (1) 256MB ATI Video Card (Which may or may not work. Had blue spots on the screen one day so I changed it out. You fix, it’s yours.
Not much, but it is a pretty good haul.
So I was watching “The Price of Atheism” on http://www.milkandcookies.com/ and I must say that first off all religion is stupid. ALL OF IT. There, I said it. Most of my friends believe in…stuff (Griff is a Muslim, Zach is a gun-wielding Buddhist, Nolan and Nick are Mormon, Rick is a Snake Handler, I think Jen is Catholic which explains a hell of a lot) and although I respect your choice to believe in a God that has yet to be proven to be, we all know why religion exists:
To Keep People In Line: Let’s not forget, people in the past (like…1973) were one hot day away from fucking goats and drinking kittens blood. Hell, some did. The books of faith were created to have something to keep people from marrying lemurs and throwing feces at each other.
Money: The only thing that makes more money that Microsoft and Pokemon is religion. Anyone ever noticed how most church GOERS are poor while most church OWNERS are ballin out of control? Look at Bishop Don Juan! He is a damn BISHOP! That’s like a card carrying member of the Catholic gods’ entourage! And we all know you can find G-O-D in the back of the C-L-U-B.
To Justify Being A Fucktard: Muslims blowing shit up in the name of Allah? Supposedly a divine right and justified action against non-believers. Crusades? God’s way to make sure everyone is part of his dumbass Christian kingdom and to sword-serve those that ain’t down with the big J-C. No one knows what Buddha does because…well Buddhist don’t cause no trouble because they just want to do the Super Bowl Shuffle. Doesn’t make them any less lame. Simple fact is that as long as you have people dumb enough to believe, you can justify your actions by saying the invisible guy upstairs (no matter what his name is) says you should do it.
People Are Stupid: You know it, I know it and cats know it. The simple fact is…humans want to believe in something to explain what they cannot understand. From the days when people feared the rain to global warming now. If someone just says “God did it!” then people can just go back to their business knowing that it has been explained. When it really HASN’T because no one can prove the existence of their “God” over another.
You know, how come no one worships something that they see all the time? No one has SEEN God. But they let people do the dumbest shit in its name. If I were into religion (Which I am not anymore, after Griff wouldn’t let me into the Muslims. Three years and I am still an undrafted free agent) you know what I would worship? The moon.
Hell, it makes more sense than any other religion AND the Mooninites have the Quad-laser! I’m just saying, if Jesus had a Quad-laser and moon-aided jumping ability…maybe he could have taken down the Romans. I’m just saying.
Last thing. Interracial dating:
Now THIS is hilarious. All I can say is this. If the race of who you date is important to you, that’s cool. There is nothing racist about a white woman that will only date a white man just as much as there is nothing racist about a black woman that only wants to date black men. Like I said before about being shallow, it is your choice to discriminate and be picky about who you will date. The fact is that you could be missing out. On another note, I am sick of people (Black women is who I hear this from the most but everyone does) who sincerely think that because one person fucked you over that all of that race are bad.
As many of you know, I was in the Black Student Union at UCCS. Several of the Black woman told me theythought that “Brothas aint shit!” yet got mad when these same brothas (That aint shit) dated a white woman (Including yours truly, who wasnt DATING a white girl.I just got seen in public with one and got damn near assaulted. I'll tell you the story sometime). Well tough shit. Maybe it is you. Hell, I know I am single because I am an asshole and manic depressive (not a good combination). I used to think it was 80% me being crazy and 20% women being stupid but I accepted that I am just a fucking nutcase and it is 100% me. So even if every woman who I have tried to date was confused, crazy, vindictive or spread herself around like strawberry preserves (Which they have been, sans two and that was my own damn fault for fucking that up. One was fricking Puerto Rican! You cant get any hotter than that!) I couldn’t blame them because I have issues myself. No one is perfect, no matter the race.
If you have a preference in race, I believe it should be respected. That’s just me; I honestly don’t care anymore because everyone has their issues. You find someone that fits you, and if that person happens to be your preference then that’s great. If they fit you but they aren’t your preferred race and you say the nay no, that is fine. Just don’t complain when they find someone outside of their race that makes them happy. That goes to all of you. Quite simply, it aint none of your business. Take it home, Carlton!
Although…Stevie is BLIND, so how would he know what race a woman is truly? I kid, I kid. Stay up, peeps.
Chachi Out.
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