So an update on my distain for NCAA Football 08. Last night I played my third game after beating Colorado State (59-14, yours truly with 310 passing yards and 135 of th0se to Griff) and shocking Ohio State in Columbus 40-7 (Yeah, OSU had four interceptions but I had three, two returned for touchdowns and that really skewed the score). Keep in mind that I was STILL UNRANKED for some reason but I kept on. So last night I played the #16th ranked Seminoles of Florida State in my Homecoming game which is the brainfarts of all brainfarts but if I want to impress the BCS I can’t play Maine or SF Austin State. So I booted up and got ready to play.
First off…fuck Florida State. Seriously, I hope your campus gets invaded by horny ferrets. Now I know I have Colorado and they are ranked about 83rd out of 113 or so Division I schools but…
10 SACKS?!
You read that right. I got sacked 10 fucking times. Now read that correctly, they didn’t have 10 sacks in the game. THEY HAD 10 SACKS AGAINST ME! More on that later. In the first quarter, things were normal. We both punted on our first drives and on our second drives we each had 13 play drives that resulted in short touchdowns (A run for me and a bullshit tight end screen for them, which is odd because they had a FOUR RECIEVER SET!). Not a bad start, but not what I would expect in a big game.
Colorado 7
#16 Florida State 7
End of 1st Quarter
The second quarter was okay except plagued with fumbles for some reason (2 by each team, with myself getting 14 points and the computer getting 10) and at halftime the score was
Colorado 21
#16 Florida State 17
Halftime
Then shit went horribly wrong.
After I drove down and got a field goal with the first drive of the second half and then got a defensive stop (w00t!) I began to come across a problem. They were blitzing the SHIT OUT OF ME. Seriously, they brought six guys every play! Problem was my offensive line must have been hepped up on goofballs because they didn’t even try to block them. There were times that I would take the snap and then the defensive tackle would sack me before I started my drop back animation. Because of the constant 3rd and 20’s I’d have to face, I had to pass on third down (which I hate being forced to do with this team because aside from Griff they are mouthbreathers) which meant I had to face the blitz AGAIN. Even worse, there were times when I would drop back, get sacked before the damn clock would start and there would be a flag. Has to be offsides, right?
Clipping. On the offense, 15 yard penalty. Still third down.
CLIPPING?! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN CLIPPING?! For those that don’t know, clipping is:
“Blocking an opponent below the waist from behind; this illegal block is a personal foul, punishable by a 15-yard penalty.”
Now, to block someone from behind….YOU HAVE TO ACTUALLY BLOCK THEM! If that man runs right past your ass and sacks me, how in the HELL IS HE BEING CLIPPED?! BULLSHIT! Anyway, I got six (SIX!) of these called against me in the third quarter. One of these pinned me at my own four after a third and 48. I managed a field goal after they messed up a fake punt but they got a quick score after I shanked a punt so at the end of the third we are all tied up.
#16 Florida State 24
Colorado 24
End of the 3rd Quarter
To begin the fourth quarter I was on a drive from my own 6 because of a clipping penalty on the kickoff from their fucking touchdown. I was doing my normal thing (running the ball, quick slants, screens and hitches to set up a post or go route) on my drive when one a 3rd and 1 from my 47 yard line I decided to go for the money. On a play action screen, I saw Griff had passed his defender and the safety was on a blitz meaning he was wide open on the sidelines. I tapped the “B” button for a lob pass when all of a sudden…the defender tackled him. Like he already had the ball. So I lob this ball in the air and as I lob it I get hit by a defender that WAS NOT THERE (If a defender is around the animation is a short-armed throw no matter what) so the ball just kind of quailed up there and got picked off. Ran back for a touchdown.
#16 Florida State 31
Colorado 24
3:47 4th Quarter
SHIT! But wait, a flag on the field! Hooray, clipping on me!
Pass Interference, #25 on the defense, 15 yard penalty. First down.
Like I said yesterday the crowd noise doesn’t match the animation but the crowd went NUTS. So I continued my drive and on the 17 yard line on a 3rd and 3 I called a QB Draw Option (Where you can scramble, pass or hand-off to the running back) to get to the middle of the field for a go ahead field goal. That’s when shit went REALLY whack. As soon as the ball is snapped, the running back runs the WRONG WAY AND DOES NOT HAVE THE BALL! So I am standing there…on a draw. During a blitz. Yeah. I scramble and see Griff running a Corner Out route (just think about him running to the far back right pylon) so I know if I lob it he can outjump the defender. Right as I throw the ball, I get hit so hard the animation sends the football STRAIGHT UP IN THE AIR. I mean this ball is under thrown by about 10 yards and right into the hands of the Rover that he promptly takes back 91 yards for a touchdown. Also, I suffer a concussion from the gang hit (THREE DUDES!) so my backup, the redshirt freshman son of the coach is in to start. Greaaaaat.
#16 Florida State 31
Colorado 24
2:57 4th Quarter
SHIIIIIIIT!
So on the ensuing kickoff, my starting running back (who is doing well with 144 yards on the ground) gets a good return but gets gang tackled. Aaaaaaaand suffers a pinched nerve, out for the game. FUCK! So my backup QB and my backup halfback hold my hopes for a win. Awesome. The drive starts how I would expect it. A loss of two on a run and a sack. Third and 18. Next play, a little over the middle route and holy shit he caught it! A 44 yard gain and I am in FUCKING BUSINESS. No wait…clipping. 3rd and 32 from the 39 yard line. I drop back and hit and a FUMBLE! FUCK! Picked up by a lineman that runs two yards and FUMBLE AGAIN! Picked up by the fullback and he gains six yards. I’m fucked.
#16 Florida State 31
Colorado 24
2:19 4th Quarter (4th and 20)
Here goes. My QB drops back…shit, a blitz! Steps up in the pocket and throws to the left side….caught at the FSU 47 yard line! Opening in the zone! Run you…fullback?! Hells yeah! He gains 22 more yards and drags the safety and a linebacker with him! 1st and 10 at the FSU 25! No huddle! I snap again and another blitz! The young QB steps up…hits Griff on the far right hand side at the 19 and he is running. Runnnnnnniiiinnnnngggg and the safety has the angle! He dives for the corner of the endzone….touchdown! No, they rule him out at the ONE YARD LINE! The next play I hand off to my backup halfback and he dives…TOUCHDOWN! Extra point is good!
Colorado 31
#16 Florida State 31
1:55 4th Quarter
I kick off out of the endzone and FSU has it at their 20 yard line. First play, drop back…SACKED! I FINALLY GOT HIM! Time out FSU. Second and 17, the QB drops back…INCOMPLETE! I could get this back with some time remaining! 3rd and 17, he drops back, throws to the corner for the tight end and it is caught short of the first! He breaks a tackle and is hit…FUMBLE! I dive for it and….no it goes out of bounds! 4th and 6! FSU punts and Griff gets the ball…across to the right and out of bounds at the Colorado 31 yard line. 58 seconds left. Every kid dreams of this moment. Here we go, a field goal to win. The QB takes the snap, the fullback runs into the flat. He floats a pass to him and he catches. He has open field! 35 to the 40! 45…50….45…40…! He is tackled at the 38 yard line! The clock is running! No huddle! To the line of scrimmage to down the ball…they fake the spike! Quick lob to Griff and he has it! He scrambles to make it out of bounds….HE DOESN’T! He is down at the 28! 13 seconds and running because he didn’t get the fucking first down! You BLACK BASTARD! No huddle! Spike!
Ten seconds left from the FSU 28 yard line. I need to center the ball because the wind is kicking my ass. One time out. Just get the ball in the middle of the hash marks…that’s all I need. Just going to run and slide. The QB takes the snap….I hit the dive button…nothing. SHIT! I hit it again and NOTHING! I hit it a THIRD TIME and I prepare to dive…he’s hit!
FUMBLE! FSU RECOVERS AS TIME EXPIRES! WE ARE GOING TO OVERTIME!
SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!
Colorado 31
#16 FSU 31
End of Regulation
Shit. I’m going to lose. They win the toss and chose to go on offense first. 1st and 10 from the 25…quick slant to the wide receiver and he has real estate! He is tackled at the 7 yard line for a first down! FUCK! QB takes the snap….SACKED! YES! Okay, I have a shot. 2nd and 17 from the 14…running back tackled for a three yard loss! 3rd and 20! QB takes the snap from the shotgun and HE DROPS IT (I have never seen that before in this game which makes me wonder if it is a glitch)! He recovers…scrambles…throws out of bounds! 4th and 20. A 33 yard field goal attempt…WIDE LEFT! WIDE LEFT CRUEL IRONY!!! FSU fans know what I am talking about!
All I need is a field goal to win. But I want the touchdown because I am a FUCKING MORON. 1st and 10 from the 25. From the Shotgun fake end-a-round…Griff sells the block and breaks out off the line…slight overthrow…ONE HANDED CATCH AT THE 10! The safety and the corner have the angle! He dives for the endzone…!
FUMBLE! WHAT IN THE HOLY HELL, MAN?!
Ball is loose at the three yard line….THE FULLBACK RECOVERS!! The man saved my season four times in this game! Ball at the two yard line! Screw that, I’m going for the field goal. CU lines up for a 20 yard chip shot. The snap, the catch, the hold…
IT’S GOOD! IT’S GOOD! COLORADO PULLS THE UPSET OVER #16 FSU! IT FEELS SO GOOD! NO MORE RANKED TEAMS THIS YEAR! ONLY BAYLOR!
Colorado 34
#16 Florida State 31
Final (1st Overtime)
Whoo…I was cussing up a STORM while playing this because it was just…never wracking. How could I dominate Ohio State ON THE ROAD and not be able to put away Florida State AT HOME? It does NOT MAKE SENSE. My life just got suckier because the next game…#13 Oklahoma. Oh, and I am STILL NOT RANKED after beating two ranked teams.
I fucking hate this game. So fucking hate it. Be back tomorrow with the Top 20 Video Countdown.
Chachi Out.
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