I am back once again, peeps! I have some things I need to say…and some things may shock you.
I Like My Chemical Romance
There…I came clean. Now you all know that I am one razorblade and a Starlight Ray album from getting a wig and writing pussy ass poetry while I talk about how much my parents didn’t love me. I am getting to emo, but not quite there. I like sunlight a bit too much. Today I pulled out an old MP3 mix and “Teenagers” came on:
And damn it…I like this song. As a matter of fact I like a lot of MCR. I know I shouldn’t but sometimes I need a good sulk party. And nothing goes better with a sulk party than MCR. Maybe Dashboard Confessionals but they fucking suck and always will. At least My Chemical Romance made “I’m Not Okay” which was awesomeness. Yeah, I said it.
So I just turned around an Eminem has a new video. And I say to myself…haven’t I already seen this shit? Let me break this down:
My Name Is = The Real Slim Shady = Without Me = Lose It = Whatever His New Song Is Called Now I don’t like getting into the argument about Eminem’s TALENT because…he isn’t better than anyone else when it comes to delivery and wordplay and never has been. The debate with women centers around “well, he’s hot” which is such a convincing argument that I wonder how come we don’t have more female Presidents. It’s called a non-sensical point; you do it and I can to. Now you know how it feels. I can’t knock the fact the dude has a formula and it works with people who are used to the same thing over and over again. With that being said I am tired of people constantly saying the guy is one of the greatest when he shows just as much repetition as the rest of the rappers that I ridicule. Yet people seem to ignore that because…he’s White. Yeah, I said it. I look at Eminem the same way Black people looked at Michael Vick in football. So blinded by the fact that they are a person not expected to succeed in the position they are in that they overlook their flaws: they are kind of overrated. Yes, you can compare the two because for two years Michael Vick was the most popular football player in the NFL (Look at jersey sales) and the highest paid player as well. But he was slightly above average. Same with Eminem IMHO. His record sales are high (The highest behind 2Pac and Outkast I believe) and people love him but at the end of the day he has MAYBE 5 songs that aren’t just “meh” on four or five albums. Not a good average as Jay-Z would allude to. Once again…just saying.
Corn Dogs: Delicious But So Sexuality Questioning!
We all know corn dogs are delicious. They are one of the many great things that carnies have given us. But man…they sure do make you feel gay. Not in the good way like watching Zac Efron “Hairspray.” I mean in the bad way, like watching John Travolta in “Hairspray.” You know what I mean. Mini corndogs help but its just not the same. Like American bukakke compared to the real Japanese kind. I mean they TRY but in the end there just isn’t enough batter. Eeeeewwww! Alright, I am out. I will be back up on Friday for the Countdown and will be up in Denver if anyone wants to roll up and hang out after Happy Hour. Until then you got to move….DAT ASS! Gotta bite my lip for that one! Chachi Out
Okay, so this is a blog from Feb of 2008. I am not feeling so hot so I started a blog this morning but work pissed me off (Except for DAT ASS!) so I came home and chilled. I will try to finish it up tomorrow and have it on before the Countdown. Until then...my rant on boobies.
So I have officially had enough of fake jubblies. Not like I am tonguing them down like an ice cream cone in Alabama in the summertime every day but the fact tha men love them so much is just getting creeps. Ladies...THEY ARE OBJECTS OF SCIENTIFIC ORIGIN IN YOUR FUCKING CHEST! They arent attractive in any way shape or form! They look like they hurt like hell, actually. I hope you are trying to impress yourself because they look TOLERABLE when clothes are on but when they are off, fake boobs look like tumors trying to escape by violently tearing through your chest and reform into evil boob beings bent on world domination. Damn your self-esteem (HAHAHAHAHAHA! Women piss me off with that one), think about the safety of the planet here!
What I really don’t get is the seed that is implanted (No pun intended; that was just ironic word placement. Wait, isn’t that what a pun is?) in women’s heads that it is what men want. It makes very little sense if that is why you get them because isn’t the whole point of “Grrl Power” to be happy with yourself and your body and fuck the world if they can’t adjust? As the song said, “I’M BEAUTIFUL, DAMMIT!” I tell myself that lie every day. It helps me get through being as unlovable and self-loathing as a gay Catholic Irish Jew Nazi gypsy. Back to the point, if women say that they are getting them for themselves that makes even less sense. To me anyway, I also like to huff paint so take what I say with a grain of salt.
Why doesn’t it make sense? Because tits don’t define a woman. Don’t get me wrong in a perfect society they SHOULD but at the end of the day, all boob meat does is produce milk and distract horny white college frat boys. And that is only to hide the fact the swallow more salami than a butcher’s wife. Keep that one because it is pure gold. If getting fake breasts help your self esteem then more misguided power to you. However, you know who else liked fake tits?
Hitler.
You don’t want to appease HITLER do you? Not only are women succubi, they are Nazi. I always knew the end of the world would be via a Nazi succubus. The part of this whole situation is that women insult other women with implants ALL THE DAMN TIME! Yet so many of them have gone out and put fake Zeppelins in their chest and it is getting annoying and I am thinking maybe unhealthy both physically and mentally. No matter what any doctor says, putting a foreign object in your body, let alone in your chest near a few (I guess, anatomy isn’t my thing) somewhat vital organs seems like a pretty dumb fucking idea. Again, that is just me and I ate a lot of mushrooms in the late 90’s. Is putting your life at stake worth having 34D’s for your obviously skewed and somewhat fucked up self-esteem? If you have fake tits in your body because of any of these reasons, shooting you in the face should be not only allowed but encourages and compensated:
1. You Wanted To Spite A Man (Bright move, bitch. To upset a man that left you for fake tits you went out and got your own instead of like…investing or something. You can no longer vote…although you should have never been able to. Woman’s Suffrage should be in the kitchen, not in the voting booth! Same to DARKIES. Except their Civil Rights Movement should move them RIGHT BACK TO THE FIELD! PICK THAT DAMN COTTON, NIGGER! If you don’t get irony, stop reading this blog now. Please, it saves me the time of having to hear your fool-ass-mouth about how offensive I am because you can’t take scathing and provocative social commentary) 2. You Wanted To Get A Man (Gut check time, ladies. If a man only likes women with fake or large tits and you aint got them maybe he aint for you? If a woman wanted a white man but loved everything about me am not going to invest in shoe polish! STOP BEING STUPID!) 3. Self-Esteem (Okay….enough already. My self-esteem has been damaged by how people told me I SHOULD feel about myself but at the end of the day I just said “Fuck them in their stupid heads” and kind of either tried to kill them or moved on. If your self esteem will be helped by fake breasts then you should be shot now because you are nothing but an asshat and your asshattery will no longer be tolerated) 4. They Make You Feel “Pretty” or “Even” (WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU, A FRACTION?! Listen, you are what you are and tits can’t change that. If you are a bitch, giving you fake tits aren’t going to change the fact that you are a bitch. Much like a mouthy wide receiver, fake breasts are an external fix to the overall package of beauty. Yet, if you want to be respected for your mind, the kind of male clientele you will attract with fake breasts could care less is what is on your mind. They may love your brain, but only if you cup and swallow) 5. To Be An Individual (You know what, I want to get all the women with fake breasts and all the women with tattoos on the small of their back and put them in a room. Odds are they would overlap in the 65% to 70% range. Why? BECAUSE GETTING FAKE TITS AND TATTOOS ARENT INDIVIDUALITY! IT IS THE ULTIMATE IN CONFORMITY! God, women are the new fucking emo. We need to proceed to bomb the fuck out of that room and start over civilization) 6. DADDY DIDN’T LOVE ME! (You know what? I actually heard this when I was in college. Now she didn’t SAY this, but my probing questions….which were all pretty much “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU”….found that was the end result. You know what? My family has tried to kill me 3 times. TODAY! You don’t see me running around killing puppies and kidnapping minors. You know why? Because I found a way to DEAL WITH SHIT like feeling like my parents didn’t love me! By drinking. Everybody got their something) 7. It’s My Body! Whateva! I Do What I Want! (You are correct. It is your body. I have two words for you: Lil Kim. Nuff said 8. I Didn’t Have To Pay For Them, My Husband/Boyfriend/Pimp Did! (Okay….so if your husband paid for radial tires, would you stitch them onto your fucking thighs? Because that is what you are doing.
The simple fact is that at the end of the day, you have to be you. I am not saying people with fake breasts are conformist dogs that should be shot in the base of the skull nor am I saying they are whores. However, I am saying that there are only TWO logical reason for getting implants:
• Your boobs are uneven (That has to be JACKED. Up until the surgery and had one ball that was twice the size of the other. I’m happier now….although no one aside from me and that security guard at the mall have seen them) • You need them for work (GOD BLESS STRIPPERS! Seriously, because they are going to hell)
If you need them for work then more power to you because odds are you are doing anal and that aint how I roll. Or you are sliding down a pole and once again….that aint how I roll. No matter how many drinks you give me. Unless it’s Bi or Prince. HE IS HOLDING A PUPPY! HOW CAN YOU NOT WANT TO MARRY HIM?! As for Prince, his Bankai is his sexy. To use it would make everyone in the world orgasm at the same time causing mass hysteria and sexual Armageddon. He could impregnate the whole city of Pittsburg with is damn shikai. Wow….I think I just outnerded myself.
For the fellas. Seriously, would you rather have this: Or THIS: I dont know about you, but give me Alicia (AND HER FINE SELF), Hyori and Mandy Moore any day. Look, ladies they have average titty balls too boot! Be happy with yourselves, you're beautiful...just not always bright.
Anyway, nothing wrong with you if you want to get fake bra steaks. There just really isn’t a reason because it doesn’t make you beautiful. Being smart and hating Nick Cannon make you beautiful. Me…I’m about the jiggle jam. The pudding cups. The rump roast. The rumpatory. The backyard:
Now THAT’S Big Pimpin. Thick like a McDonald’s milkshake with Snickers in it with a half-size straw in a blizzard in Tibet. TASTES GOOOOOOOOOOOOD! Hate if you want, ladies. Who cares what is in the frontyard anyway? The back yard has the barbeque so that means it has the FIY-YAH! Mmmm....like I said, its better to beg for change than beg for dollars when it comes to the booty. Ah, objectification of women is not cool peeps. They deserved to be respected for their minds. *Tries to keep straight face*
Well, I am out. I may post my Perfection Rant on Thursday as I may need more time to finish this latest rant. It will be my first in a few months and I want it to be worth the wait. Until then, stay up and stay tuned.
Quick update because I am PISSED OFF TODAY. Let me just run down some things.
Issue #1: I Hate Bike Riders
Seriously, if you are a bike it doesn’t make you a human/car hybrid. You are either on the fucking sidewalk or in the fucking street. You can’t hop back and forth and shit, cutting off cars, running lights and nearly killing pedestrians. I understand you want to save the planet and all that shit and that is cool. Way to go and all that. However, if you get hit by a car for being a fucktard I really don’t feel bad for you. When you are on the road you are a fucking car, not a pedestrian. If you get hit like a car because you are riding around like Mirror Edge…you suck like Mirror Edge. And die violently as well.
Issue #2: Wonder Girls Are Hot
What the hell, man?! I AM NOT GETTING VANNED BECAUSE YOO BIN DECIDES TO LOOK ALL GOOD!
Too bad she can’t really rap or sing. It is kind of a conundrum. That and they really can’t dance well. I mean, they did the “So Hot” dance well but even Soulja Boy could do the Soulja Boy. HE MADE IT! *Sigh* I guess growing up is really hard to do. Especially when I am in love with that.
Issue #3: I Really Like Getting Paid
But the shit aint gonna happen though. Needless to say, I am not happy about it. I can’t say it comes as a shock but much like surprise buttsecks I knew it could happen but I didn’t really EXPECT IT.
But in the end, buttsecks is something we all don’t need but we get so you better be prepared for it. That’s why Friday I am drinking myself stupid for happy hour and anyone who is down for The Great Divide in Denver let me know. I may buy you a beer or two.
That’s all for now. May have an update on Wednesday depending on how I am feeling but until then, you all stay up.
What is up, peeps! I am back for a Monday update and I have a topic that might be a little bit different from the norm. Now very rarely do I talk about my own personal habits because…I know you fuckers don’t care which is cool. My life isn’t as exciting as it seems. There is a lot of WEIRDNESS, but not really exciting. So with that being said, I am going to say something that many of you probably didn’t know. One of my biggest pet peeves is….
BODY HAIR
Seriously. I hate it with a passion. I hate body hair on hairy people (You know the ones. The look like a yeti mated with a wampa) and I am not even really a fan of long hair on women or men in general. It is why I loves me some Yuffie: I will gladly take a seat over there if I can find me a good cosplayed Yuffie at NDK. You have heard it now, ladies. MAKE IT HAPPEN! So a lot of this post comes from the fact that my doctor asked me if I shaved my body hair when she asked about my boil. I had to tell the truth…I do. Now I don’t go and get the shaving cream and the leather strap like in The Color Purple but I do make sure that it doesn’t look like Ben Wallace is D’ing me up in the post on a rebound. You know that joke was funny.
So after it got better and I went to a surgeon and he gave me tips on how to avoid the horribleness that happened to me in the future, he told me to “trim” any areas that would be sensitive to ingrown hairs. As I left I realized something: I trim everywhere. Which…freaked me out a little but made me ask a question that I wasn’t comfortable with answering:
Is it gay to shave your body hair as a dude?
So my answer to this has always been NO but what I think is weird. It’s why I would rather have Kristen Chenoweth over Scarlett Johanssen. I likes me a woman that can sing…and is over the age of 35. It’s kind of a problem. I’m getting help with it. I stopped watching Lifetime and Oxygen for one. Anyway, I for one have to admit that I DO NOT want an untamed field on a woman and I would figure that it would only be fair that I do the same. Not only that, I feel that body hair is FUCKING GROSS and should be eliminated at all costs. Therefore….yes I do make sure the playing field between the hedges is ready for play on Saturday.
Yes, I just called my wang Sanford Stadium. In that’s stadium’s defense, it gets a lot more action than I do. I mean, at least six games a year. I don’t think I have had six women see my field in the last ten years. Although one was from Flordia and Georiga NEVER BEATS FLORIDA! SICK BURN! Sigh, I am so awesomely lame.
Well, I am out for now. I will try to be back on Tuesday or Wednesday. Until then stay up peeps. Chachi Out
What is up, peeps?! It has been a while since I have done a general post for the hell of it but those of you that know me understand why. Between the hospital visists, bullshit at the good old paycheck factory (Or lackthereof. ZING!), AnimeLand Wasabi and going through my mid-life crisis at 28 I will just say that the month of March was kind of a turning point in my path to superstardom. Either that or blinding rage-filled insanity. Either way, someone is getting punched in the balls.
So a lot happened in March that I didn’t get to talk about. Most of it was based off of either conversations or events that I never got a chance to tell the peeps about due to being sick or hella busy. I will try to recap them through April and also bring some new stuff because…I can just tell that April is going to piss me off. I haven’t had a calm April since 2005 and this one doesn’t seem to look like it will break that streak.
I have gotten some questions, a few blog related while some were just questions in general over the last few weeks. I am going to try to answer a question a day so if you have something to ask, go ahead and feel free to do so. Odds are there is no question too personal but if it is I will answer the best I can with out giving away too much about other parties. So, let me get started with one that a certain lady that asked me after a slight argument…
Why Are You So Hard On The Victim?
First off: NO I’M NOT. This all stems mostly from a post she read I believe I put up in 2007 about my stance on date rape and how in my women’s studies class in college I was said to be “blaming the victim” but in actuality I was blaming asshatery. The conversation got on domestic violence and you know my stance on that: you gotta beat em to keep em. I KID, ASSHOLES! Geez, that may be the funniest thing Griff has ever said. Get a few drinks in me and I will tell you but I too have been involved in a dysfunctional union. And I have to say that I understand the reasons that women sometimes don’t leave (comfort, fear, they are LOADED WITH THAT PHAT CASH, they throw plates at you…shit, flashback) I can understand and usually sypathize with. Like anything I say and everything I believe, that is understandable to an extent. You see, this whole conversation started when I said that Rihanna taking back Chris Brown and subsequently leaving him and acting like a dumbass was even worse than breaking it off and going into seclusion. Now I have gotten a bad rap from…well…everyone due to my views on this blog about women and men being fuckwits and I wont back down from them. But I believe there is something generally stupid about someone that leaves an abuser and going batshit crazy by fucking anything that moves in “revenge.” I have always said that when you lose, the first thing you do is go over what happened and see what went wrong to make sure you don’t repeat the mistakes. It isnt dwelling, it’s reviewing game film. If you see that you always allow a certain type of behavior and that behavior of the other party results in a boot in your ass…you don’t learn anything from that by fucking the next person that buys you a drink because you need to “vindicate” yourself.
So let’s circle back. I am not hard on victims. I have heard that in the last month by no less than three people and I have to say that I am a pretty logical human being. I have faluts and flaws but I also have a set of beliefs that I think are pretty darn good. One of those beliefs is that you don’t commit violence on people. ANYONE. Whether it be in war (And I am not a hippie, I just think that dance offs solve more than bombings)
Or in a relationship. Violence is VIOLENCE. The concept of domestic violence to me personally put the stigma of being weak on women just as I feel “hate crime” puts the same stigma on minorities. That it makes it worse when we get abused than if a White person has the same crime happen against them. The act of violence is one I may find humor in but I never condone the actions. It isnt right to hit anyone…although some motherfuckers deserve it. That being said, I don’t believe I am hard on the victim as much as I am hard on the actions. You see, I learned from someone a long time ago that you can question the actions but you can never truly question someone’s motives because unless told you don’t really know. So I don’t know really why a woman will stay with an abusive person nor do I want to. I know my own situations and I understand conceptually but I will never know that persons’ mindstate or rational. But I CAN say that if you get beaten in a public forum and you decide to stay with that person and then leave when people question your actions that you are kind of weak. Now like I said I can only judge the actions and the actions seemed erratic. I don’t know WHY she did it because maybe she wised up and realized “You know, once you know the Street Fighter II re-dizzy combo with Guile you never NOT USE IT and I don’t want that again because that is a devastating backhand he has." And that would be a good thing. OR she did it so she could dick around with Fez. Which is also fine but understand that calling things how they are isn’t being hard on the victim. She also got pissed off about my date rape theory but all I have to say is that if I buy you a drink and you drink it up then you are going home with me! Now all the fellas sing it!
Oy vey, I miss that song. So I will have something up later tonight or Monday night as another question. If you have one, feel free to ask it. Until then, stay up peeps.
What is up, ya’ll! AnimeLand Wasabi has come and gone and man…it was awesome. Thanks to Von, Andy and Shai for not making me feel like a damn lush. To celebrate, you know we have to count down the twenty biggest videos on the planet! It’s time for…
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
Let’s get started with the longest running video in Countdown history looking like it is about to spend it’s last week with us!
20. RSP with DA BUBBLE GUM BROTHERS – LA.LA.LA LOVE SONG (Last Week #17, One Week at #1) It looks like RSP xBGB is spending their final week on the Countdown. After almost SIX MONTHS no less. Now that is what Chachi Awards are made of, peeps. 19. Keri Hilson featuring Kanye West & Ne-Yo – Knocks You Down (New Entry)
For the first time, Keri Hilson makes her way onto the Top 20! I will be the first so say I am not her biggest fan but I really like this song and the video…yeah, she is attractive. I likey, but the rest of her stuff has sucked. Yeah, I said it. 18. YA-KYIM respects SEAMO - SA IKOU! (Last Week #15, Two Weeks at #1) YA-KYIM is STILL HANGING ON! I am getting a little nervous about the fact I may have to wait a while for new stuff from them. And that makes me a sad panda. 17. Pitbull – I Know You Want Me [Calle Ocho] (New Entry)
Pitbull makes his first ever appearance on the Countdown! Pitbull has been a favorite rapper of mine for a while and…um…yeah, the ladies in this video are hot. Sue me, I likey the booty. 16. Dev Parade – Bachokkoi!! (Last Week #19) So I played the HELL OUT OF THIS SONG during AnimeLand Wasabi last weekend. That was a hell of a lot of fun, too. Check out the slideshow, fools! 15. B.o.B. – I’ll Be In The Sky (Last Week #12) So B.o.B. seems to have fallen off the face of the Earth over the last month or so except for being at SXSW. I need something new, fool! 14. Namie Amuro - WILD (Last Week #18)
Namie moves up a big four spots this week as I await a new album from her…in 2014. Trust me, it will take that long. 13. BoA - Eien (Last Week #10) BoA falls three spots this week from the Top 10 as I wonder…where do I find this song on an album? Can someone help me out on this one? I thought it was on the Best of USA edition but it isnt. 12. Jesse McCartney featuring Ludacris – How Do You Sleep (Last Week #14) J-Mac moves up two spots as he goes back to back this week. Could it be that J-Mac…is having a bigger year than J-Tim? SAY IT AINT SO! 11. Jesse McCartney – It’s Over (Last Week #8) We have more Jesse at number 11 this week. Although he has fallen from the Top 10, he has been doinig pretty well for the year so far. 10. BoA featuring Sean Garrett – I Did It For Love (Last Week #13)
We are in the Top 10 and we have BoA with her third video in the upper half this year. Okay, first off someone needs to find this album in a store for me. Secondly, they need to get me some stills of this bad boy because I needs me some hot BoA as my desktop. 9. UVERworld – 99/100 Damashi no Tetsu (Last Week #6) The World falls three spots this week as this is song number two I wore out at the con. I am interested to see if the guys lay low or go right back into another single after giving us a kickass album in January. 8. Hikaru Utada – Come Back To Me (Last Week #11) Miss Utada is moving up! She bounces up three spots into the Top Ten for the first time. Here is hoping that her English album does better this time than Exodus. I liked it but…no one else did. BECAUSE YOU ALL SUCK! And it was off the wall, but still. 7. BACK-ON – flyaway (Last Week #4, Two Weeks at #1) After a dominating run, BACK-ON falls three spots this week and out of the Top Five. Yet another song I played the hell out of during the con last weekend. From what I remember of it, anyway. Shit, that was good times! 6. Lil Wayne – Prom Queen (Last Week #9)
Young Weezy is moving up this week! He jumps three spots outside of the Top Five, which is the highest he has ever been solo. I have to say…I am looking forward to this album. I like what I have heard so far. 5. John Legend – Everybody Knows (Last Week #3, One Week at #1) After getting his fifth number two weeks ago, John Legend falls two spots this week. Can I just say that I kind of like Evolver? Sometimes you gotta step from behind that piano! 4. Abingdon Boys School - STRENGTH (Last Week #7) TM and Company are rocking on up! ANOTHER SONG I rocked on over the weekend and even put in the slideshow. Can they return to the top? We will see because we are down to three! 3. Shion Tsuji – Sky Chord ~Otona ni Naru Kimi he~ (Last Week #5) Wow, young Shion moves into the Top Three! This is the year for the young guns as Shion, Joe Inoue and J-Mac have all had big runs on the Countdown. None of them took number one though. 2. T.I. featuring Justin Timberlake – Dead and Gone (Last Week #2) LOL, late April Fools joke! For the second straight week, T.I. and Justin hold on to the runner up spot. So I believe Tip went to jail this week and…he is way to small to not be concerned. I’m just saying. But with The Kings spending another week as runner-ups, we have a familiar champ! 1. Yuna Ito – Trust You (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
Miss Ito holds on to the number one spot for another week! You all know how I feel about Yuna so I aint even going to go into it. Just know she is my baby boo and I NEED ANOTHER ALBUM RIGHT NOW! Congrats anyway!
Well, that is all for now. Happy Birthday to Kasey and Copper (And a late one to Gary. Totally spaced on that one, guy) and I will try to hit both parties tonight. I smell sitcom sequence! Until next time, peeps.
Damn, ya'll. AnimeLand Wasabi is over and I must say...it was quite alright. Only had about 5 hours of sleep total, many a free drink and got busted in the lip (Although it was by accident). But it WAS SO FUCKING WORTH IT. Full recap in a bit or tomorrow. I have a slideshow to make. Until then, stay tuned.
UPDATE
Bask in the awesomeness, peeps! The slideshow is up and ready for action!
Okay, a few people I want to give a shoutout to:
1. The Straw Hat Pirates: You all got another shout out! We didnt break our NDK numbers for recruits but it was fun trying! 2. The Captain and the Soccer Guy: You dudes rocked the box! And you got me a shot and a beer which was tits. 3. Andy: Man...that video of the capoiera in the Rave is so going up on YouTube. And the MAGNUM POSE as well! 4. Everyone at karaoke on Saturday: Yes, I finally sang the song. You know the song so I wont go into it...but it was epic. ONE TIME ONLY, MOFOS! 5. Anyone that got me alcohol: And damn it, there were a lot of you! Thank you for the beverages, children! Big ups to the guy that invited us to the party in his room. That drink was very bad ass! 6. The person that elbowed me at the rave: My lip hurts. But its all good cuz you started a congo line for me. I'm easy to please. 7. Everyone that asked Chef a question: One guy asked me if it got annoying and I had to tell him no. I mean, if you dress up as Kool-Aid, they will yell "HEY KOOL-AID!" So if you dress as Chef you are going to hear "Hello Chef!" every five seconds and you better be ready for it! And I tried to address everyone that said it but if I didnt: HELLO CHILDREN! LOL, gotta appreciate your audience.
Well, I need to get me some sleep. Doctors tomorrow and back to work....yay. My ass. Yeah, I fricking said it. I will return after I finally get some sleep.
Okay, there is a blizzard outside but it is HOT RIGHT HERE! So let’s get started because it is time for the…
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
Let’s start with a long running video looking at its last week!
20. Joe Inoue – Closer (Last Week #17) We begin this week with what looks like the last week of Joe Inoue! I am wondering exactly where exactly he goes from here because I needs me a new video. 19. Dev Parade – Bachikoi!! (New Entry)
HELLS YEAH! I have been waiting for this video for a long ass time! Dev Parade is a group I really didn’t pay attention to…UNTIL THEY BROUGHT IT! This song kicks ass, the video has FUCKING PARA PARA and it made Naruto tolerable. For a while, anyway. BRING IT! 18. Namie Amuro - WILD (Last Week #20) Miss Namie moves up a subtle two spots this week. You know, she is always around in some way shape or form recently. There was like…a year where I thought she fell off the face of the earth. 17. RSP with DA BUBBLE GUM BROTHERS – LA.LA.LA LOVE SONG (Last Week #15, One Week at #1) RSP x BGB are STILL HANGING ON! My god, these guys really don’t want to give up. They have been on since NOVEMBER, man! But it IS Tha Bubblegum Brothers so…yeah, it’s worth it. 16. NERD – Sooner or Later (Last Week #13) NERD falls three spots this week as we wonder when it will all come falling down. Or when Mystikal gets out of prison. SHAKE YA ASS! I like that song. 15. YA-KYIM respects SEAMO - SA IKOU! (Last Week #12, Two Weeks at #1) YA-KYIM falls this week as well as their first quarter dominance has come to an end. It is an interesting question of when am I going to get more from them because a year like this doesn’t come along very often. 14. Jesse McCartney featuring Ludacris – How Do You Sleep (Last Week #16)
J-Mac and Luda move up this week as Jesse continues his bid to fill the void of Justin Timberlake and Rain. Big shoes to fill, homie. But keep on trying. 13. BoA featuring Sean Garrett – I Did It For Love (Last Week #18, Biggest Mover) Yeah, you know it. I STILL HAVENT FOUND A FULL VERSION OF THIS VIDEO YET AND IT IS PISSING ME OFF! I needs me my BoA! And I can’t find the album either! Pissing me off! 12. B.o.B. – I’ll Be In The Sky (Last Week #10) Well, it looks like B.o.B. has officially changed his name to Bobby Ray. Well…welcome to country music because with a name like that…it’s where you are heading. 11. Hikaru Utada – Come Back To Me (Last Week #14) So Hikaru Utada…with all her awesomeness and blatant hawtness…has never been in the Top 10. Looks like that is about to change because she moves up three big spots this week. My baby boo! 10. BoA - Eien (Last Week #7) We begin the upper echelon with BoA falling three spots. You know, in this short year she has had three videos on the Countdown and a pretty good album. I will give a full review at some point because I have some things I am upset about with it. 9. Lil Wayne – Prom Queen (Last Week #11)
Young Weezy is in the Top 10 on his own! He made it up here with Game last year but he brings his rock effort this week. I am kind of looking forward to it now but…is he on EVERY-DAMN-SONG OUT THERE? The answer is yes. 8. Jesse McCartney – It’s Over (Last Week #6) J-Mac falls two spots this week and looks to be having a pretty good 2009. He came within a hair of taking the top spot a few weeks ago and has a new video moving up. That’ll do, J-Mac. 7. Abingdon Boys School - STRENGTH (Last Week #9) ABS moves up this week as they look to recapture the the glory of “HOWLING” in 2006. Can TM bring ABS back to the top of the Countdown? 6. UVERworld – 99/100 Damashi no Tetsu (Last Week #4)
UVERworld falls two big spots this week after once again falling short of taking the top spot. One has to wonder now when this streak will ever end. Been a while since they ran the ship. 5. Shion Tsuji – Sky Chord ~Otona ni Naru Kimi he~ (Last Week #8) We are into the Top Five and we have a newcomer! Shion Tsuji moves up three big spots and continues the trend of Bleach themes near the top. I am beginning to put this song up there with some of my favorite Bleach endings (Including “Thank You” by Home Made Kazoku) which is quite a feat. Can she keep up the success? 4. BACK-ON – flyaway (Last Week #2, Two Weeks at #1) After two weeks on top and looking like they may move back, BACK-ON falls back two spots this week. I am really looking forward to their next single because I really dug their last album. I hope its like “Flower.” We are down to three! 3. John Legend – Everybody Knows (Last Week #1, One Week at #1)
In a shocker, John Legend falls after only one week on top! This makes the second straight time he hasn’t been able to hold on to the number one spot. Is he losing his edge? Nah, don’t believe the hype. 2. T.I. featuring Justin Timberlake – Dead and Gone (Last Week #3)
T.I. and J-Tim are back in the runner up spot! Two years ago they hit number two for two weeks but were unable to take the top spot. Can they do it this time around? We will have to see because this week we have a new number one video! 1. Yuna Ito – Trust You (Last Week #5, One Week at #1)
Yuna Ito is back on top! After almost TWO YEARS, Yuna Ito recaptures her throne. She hops up a huge four spots this week to take over from BACK-ON. I LOVE THIS VIDEO AND I LOVE YUNA ITO. That is all you need to know.
That is all for this Friday! Tune in next week to see of Yuna Ito can make it two straight weeks on top! Or will T.I. and Justin be the new dynamic duo on top? Or will John Legend rebound to get his swagger back? See you in seven to find out!
Well, I will be heading up to Animeland Wasabi in a bit despite the shitty weather. I will have pics up and a slideshow on Sunday. Anyone down to ride can BRING IT! Stay up, ya'll. I will have updates over the weekend.
We begin with the return of a star after almost two years of waiting!
20. Namie Amuro - WILD (New Entry)
We begin this week with the return of Namie Amuro! It has been a while since she has been on here (She had a short stint with “Funky Town” in 2006) and it is good to see her back with a little bit of dancing. Although I still think she is a tad bit robotic, I can’t deny the song is catchy as hell. 19. YA-KYIM respects KOME KOME CLUB – Kimi Ga Iru Dake De (Last Week #16, Four Weeks at #1)It looks like my baby boos are about to fall off! They have been on here for a LOOOOONG time and it will be a shame to see them go. Still love this video. 18. BoA featuring Sean Garrett – I Did It For Love (New Entry)
HELLS YES! Now I feel bad because I have yet to see the full version of this video. But let’s face it…a minute and a half of BoA is better than anything else I will see all year so I am fine with it. She brings along Sean Garrett who I don’t have anything against but it is all about BoA right now. AND BUY THE ALBUM! If you can find it, I mean… 17. Joe Inoue – Closer (Last Week #15) You know, Joe Inoue has been on the Countdown just as long as YA-KYIM has? I know, I am shocked too! But he is still hanging on, moving down two spots this week. 16. Jesse McCartney featuring Ludacris – How Do You Sleep (Last Week #19) J-Mac and Luda move up three big spots this week. Its hard to believe that this is Ludacris’s first time ever on the Countdown. I thought I liked him more. 15. RSP with DA BUBBLE GUM BROTHERS – LA.LA.LA LOVE SONG (Last Week #13, One Week at #1) RSP x BGB is still hanging on! They fall two spots this week and as of right now are the longest running artists on the Countdown ever! They just passed Yuna Ito’s “I’m Here” and I have to say that is a big accomplishment. 14. Hikaru Utada – Come Back To Me Last Week #17) Miss Utada is moving on up this week! She moves up three spots this week as I find out her English album isnt due out until fricking MAY. Aint that bout a bitch? 13. NERD – Sooner or Later (Last Week #11) Pharrell and Co. move down two spots this week. We don’t see enough of these guys lately. After being everywhere for about two years I mean. 12. YA-KYIM respects SEAMO - SA IKOU! (Last Week #9, Two Weeks at #1) YA-KYIM’s second video finally falls from the Top 10 this week as we move on. It has already been a huge year for these ladies…and it’s only MARCH. I am hoping they get more stuff out to me soon or I will go thorugh withdeawl. 11. Lil Wayne – Prom Queen (Last Week #14)
Weezy moves up three spots this week as he has once again pushed back his rock album. I believe it has been pushed out to June but I could be wrong about that. This song is really growing on me and although I am not home enough to see the video I like what I have seen so far. 10. B.o.B. – I’ll Be In The Sky (Last Week #6) B.o.B. falls four huge spots this week as we begin the Top Ten! I think 2009 is going to be a big year for this guy as long as we don’t have more 50 Cent dumbfuckery. Which…we will. 9. Abingdon Boys School - STRENGTH (Last Week #12) ABS is back in the Top Ten! TM leads his crew up three spots this wee and I am PRAYING that this gives us a new album by November. ABS vs. UVERworld for Album of the Year? SIGN ME UP! 8. Shion Tsuji – Sky Chord ~Otona ni Naru Kimi he~ (Last Week #10)
NO! More filler for Bleach after the Pendulum Arc? GOD DAMN IT ALL TO HELL! 7. BoA - Eien (Last Week #7) BoA stalls a spot this week at number seven with the debut of her latest video and of course her BAD ASS ALBUM! Full review on Sunday. 6. Jesse McCartney – It’s Over (Last Week #4)
J-Mac falls two spots this week as he fell just short from the top spot two weeks ago. He has a new video and a re-release of his last album in stores now. Pick it up! 5. Yuna Ito – Trust You (Last Week #8) Miss Ito is back! She moves into the Top Five for the first time in over a year with her latest video. I do have to say…I loves me some Yuna Ito. If you don’t know then you don’t know me and I am hurt. 4. UVERworld – 99/100 Damashi no Tetsu (Last Week #3) The World falls back one spot this week as we inch closer to the top. It has been a huge year album wise for UVERworld as they have released their best album since Timeless after two lackluster efforts. The rock is back! We are down to three… 3. T.I. featuring Justin Timberlake – Dead and Gone (Last Week #5)
T.I. and J-Tim are back together in the Top Three! They move up two big spots this week at T.I. looks for his FIFTH number one video! Can he make it happen? His job just got easier because we have a new champ! 2. BACK-ON – flyaway (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
BACK-ON falls from the top spot after two weeks of holding it down! It has been a great run as they achieved their first number one video but all good things must end sometime. Great job guys but we have a new reigning king! 1. John Legend – Everybody Knows (Last Week #2, One Week at #1)
A LEGENDARY KING! John Legend is back on top! This is his second number one video from his album Evolver and I have to say that it may not be as good as Once Again but it has its moments. This video being one of them. This also gives him his fifth number one video to boot! Hells yeah!
Well, that is all for this Friday! Tune in next week to see if John Legend can make it two weeks on top! Or if BACK-ON can get back on their throne and make it three weeks? Or will T.I. and J-Tim finally take the championship as a duo? See you in seven to find out!
Well, I think I have dinner tonight with Zach (Who is leaving for Japan for a year this week. Big ups, homie!) and then maybe Sodo’s depending on how I am feeling. Until next time, stay up peeps.
What is up, peeps? I am back for a quick Tuesday update (Don’t ask why. I’m random like that) and for the last three years I have always had a post about new vernacular I was going to bring to the forefront every year. Now some got jacked (Like Downey. I want to slap the motherfucker that said that at Mint last year) while some just never really caught on (F2T did, but not in the circles I wanted. I DON’T want to take a seat over there) but I think it is about time to bring it back for the 2009! Yeah, at some point I am going to do a post on the new Linguistics of 2009! That will be up sometime this week depending on what the doctors say on Wednesday. God, I don’t want to get cut up. SHITFUCKCUNTASSBITCHWHORERICKROSSCOCKTITTAMPON!
Sorry, had to get that out. I fear surgery, no matter how minor and shit. Oh, and no more using the word “swag.” Seriously, just say “swagger” or shut the fuck up. Asshats.
AND BUY BOA’S ALBUM TOMORROW! I am just going to buy it on iTunes and get it over with. Odds are finding it around Denver is going to be a bitch and a half. Once I get it I will review it for the peeps. Until then, ya'll stay up. (Update: HOLY FUCKBALLS, BLOGGER DOES SPELL CHECK?! News to me!)
Steve Austin (WWE) has joined the cast of Sylvester Stallone's The Expendables. Austin joins a cast that already includes Mickey Rourke (The Wrestler) as well as Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Forest Whitaker and Charisma Carpenter.
The film is about a team of mercenaries who attempt to overthrow a South American dictator.
Credit: Variety
Let me get this straight...
HE-MAN + THE RATTLESNAKE + THE TRANSPORTER + RANDY THE RAM + GHOST DOG + THE DUDE FROM FEARLESS + THE CHICK FROM BUFFY THAT WASNT BUFFY OR WILLOW + JUDGE DREDD?! HOLY FUCKING SHIT SIGN ME UP RIGHT NOW OR ELSE!
I will get in line for the tickets on Monday. WHO IS COMING WITH ME?!
Well, after a pretty jacked up week I am back on the scene for the Friday staple! I give to you…
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
Young Jeezy and Nas are no longer with us, so let’s get started with a video that looks to be on its way out as well!
20. Kanye West – Heartless (Last Week #17) Looks like Mr. West’s run of 5 months with a video on the Countdown is looking to end this week. Great run for him despite his reportedly HORRIBLE performance on American Idol which I didn’t watch because I haven’t watched in like three seasons. 19. Jesse McCartney featuring Ludacris – How Do You Sleep (New Entry)
J-Mac is back! Jesse McCartney brings Luda on the Countdown for the first time with his latest! This video reminds me of that commercial for Rock Band minus the frat boy feel. You know what I mean, people. 18. Aqua Timez - Velonica (Last Week # 16) NEW AQUA TIMEZ ALBUM! GET IT NOW OR DIE, BITCHES! 17. Hikaru Utada – Come Back To Me Last Week #20) With BoA’s English album coming next Tuesday (PRE-ORDER, BITCHES!) Miss Utada needs to hurry up and give me something more. Although I am all about this video right now (Just got it on the phone, fool!) you need to give me something to get ready for! I demand it! 16. YA-KYIM respects KOME KOME CLUB – Kimi Ga Iru Dake De (Last Week #15, Four Weeks at #1)
YA-KYIM falls one spot this week and seems to be gaining some reverse momentum and maybe even moving back up. Could we see a return to greatness? 15. Joe Inoue – Closer (Last Week #13) Joe falls two spots and I wonder where exactly this guy came from? Catching tune and his second video is pretty good too. Just curious. 14. Lil Wayne – Prom Queen (Last Week #18) Young Weezy moves up four big spots this week as I await his rock album later on this Spring. I like the fact that hip hop artists are branching out even though some of you are being asshats about it. You know who you are. 13. RSP with DA BUBBLE GUM BROTHERS – LA.LA.LA LOVE SONG (Last Week #10, One Week at #1) RSP falls from the Top 10 this week as they look to hold on and be the longest running video on the Countdown’s history. They are three weeks short, let’s see if they can hold on! Vote or die! 12. Abingdon Boys School - STRENGTH (Last Week #14)
ABS is slowly moving up this week as they look to return to J-Rock greatness. Could this possibly mean…another Abingdon Boys School album in 2009. I just came hard. 11. NERD – Sooner or Later (Last Week #7) NERD falls four huge spots this week as they failed to take the top spot a few weeks back. Remember when you heard a Neptunes beat every two minutes? Those days are over! I kind of miss the “bing-boop” sounds. 10. Shion Tsuji – Sky Chord ~Otona ni Naru Kimi he~ (Last Week #11) We are in the Top 10 and start with Shion Tsuji! She moves up one spot with the ending to Bleach and all I have to say is that seeing the Pendulum Arc in animated form is AWESOME. The manga is beginning to drag with the Ichigo fight but I think it ends at 361 (Confirm? Anyone?) so it should wrap up soon. 9. YA-KYIM respects SEAMO - SA IKOU! (Last Week #3, Two Weeks at #1)[Plunge of the Week] YA-KYIM is back again and they fall a HUGE six spots this week out of the Top Three. Big year for these young ladies and I have to say if I don’t get more from them I may have to flip the hell out. 8. Yuna Ito – Trust You (Last Week #12)
MY BABY BOO IS BACK! For the fourth time, Yuna Ito has entered the Top Ten! It has been over two years since she hit number one with “I’m Here” but this video looks like it could end the streak. Nothing like a kick ass ballad to pass the time. 7. BoA - Eien (Last Week #8) MARCH 17TH YOU BETTER PICK UP HER DAMN ALBUM OR I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE CUNT! OR PENIS! That is all. Oh, and she moves up a spot. 6. B.o.B. – I’ll Be In The Sky (Last Week #4)
After making it into the sky, B.o.B. looks to be falling from it. He falls two big spots after looking like he hit his peak. Hopefully we will have something new from him soon. 5. T.I. featuring Justin Timberlake – Dead and Gone (Last Week #9) T.I. and J-Tim are back again in the Top Five! They dynamic duo tie with Lil Wayne and Yuna Ito for the biggest moves this week as they jump four spots. T.I. goes into the pen in like two weeks but can he hit number one before he gets on lockdown? 4. Jesse McCartney – It’s Over (Last Week #2) With a new video debuting this week, he shouldn’t feel too bad but J-Mac falls from the runner up spot this week. He has been on the Countdown for quite a while and it was bound to happen but it is still a shock. But we are down to three! Including two legends of the Countdown! 3. UVERworld – 99/100 Damashi no Tetsu (Last Week #6) AAAWWW SNAP! The World is back in the Top Three! Their latest video is in the bronze medal spot after hopping up three spots and they are right behind a certain someone that they have battled several times over the last three years… 2. John Legend – Everybody Knows (Last Week #5)
…and his name is John Legend! He now has his record breaking SEVENTH Top Three video and he is looking to get his fifth number one video to boot! However, UVERworld is back on his heels and to get the top he has to knock off the reigning champ! 1. BACK-ON – flyaway (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
The upstarts of BACK-ON hold on to number one for the second straight week! They held off John Legend and UVERworld for at least a week and that is something to be VERY proud of. I have been listening to this song all week, especially after the horrible Wednesday I had. Great song and great video.
Well, that is all for this week! Tune in next Friday to see of BACK-ON can continue to hold off the lions for a third week in a row! Or can John Legend capture his elusive fifth number one video? Will UVERworld capture their fourth number one and hold off John Legend? See you in seven to find out!
Well, I have to go back to the clinic for more work and more antibiotics today so wish me luck. After that, I may go out but odds are I won’t because I am not supposed to be drinking with them in my system so more than likely I will pick up Resident Evil 5 and play that this weekend while my wound evacuates. I really, really am hating everything right now. Peace, ya’ll.
So Joey Joe Joe Shabadoo showed me an article today…and I think if my boil hadn’t ALREADY ruptured, it would have after reading this shit:
8 Things Guys Say They Hate about Women But Secretly Love
Man…I am so about to have fun with THIS SHIT.
"I hate when my girlfriend works late, but I secretly love how motivated she is and how much she cares about everything she does." —Alex, 24
Okay, first off woman should not work! Unless work involve mouth love or cooking! Okay, I kid about that but seriously. A while back I posted a rant about this same statement except if it was a MAN staying late and working hard then either he:
1. Isn’t paying enough attention to you and you should leave his ass 2. He is spending time away to be with another woman at work and you should leave his ass 3. His job is more important to him than you so you should leave his ass
Now don’t get me wrong, all of those are valid arguments if you are an attention whore or a moron. However, the fact is that there is nothing wrong with working long hours whether you are male or a female as long as the other partner is okay with it and it doesn’t hamper the relationship. Fuck motivation, women only care about themselves as do EVERYONE ELSE. Aint nothing wrong with that, either. The only selfless person on Earth is Peter Parker and it took him losing his uncle to his own douchery to make that happen. Think about that for a moment. Anyway, this quote is obviously from a fucktard.
"I tell her I hate it when she whines, but it's actually cute. It makes me feel needed and important and manly — like I can provide for her and that will stop her whining. I should add that it's a once-in-a-while pleasure." —Matt, 27
Um…is it just me or is that a slight BURN? I mean my providing for her will stop her whining? That could be seen as a nice thing but at the end of the day should she be whining to start off with? There is a big difference between whining and legitimate concerns. You provide resolutions for legitimate concerns. You ignore the shit out of whining. Homie needs to learn the difference or he will end up…well, like me. You don’t want that!
"I would be bummed out if she canceled her Us Weekly subscription. I hate having to see Spencer Pratt's ugly mug all the time, but it turns out to be the perfect magazine to read in the bathroom." —Scott, 33
….FUCK NO. Personally, I either read manga or Wizard Magazine in the bathroom but that is just me. Shows my interest and my geekdom. But this dude sucks and needs to be shot because WHAT IN THE FUCK IS A SPENCER PRATT?
"I'm around a lot of women who are very worried. It seems as if everything you do is followed by a question: Why did you do that? Are you all right? You sure you're not hungry? I always talk about how I hate these incessant questions, but I know deep down if they stopped I would feel less important. It's good to know that people care about you enough to ask those questions, even though they might be annoying." —Ben, 25
First off, women don’t care about you. They care that you THINK that they care about you. Really put that line in motion and think about it and you will understand and if you didn’t already know it will BLOW YOUR MIND. That and much like cats, they know that in some way shape or form you are their provider whether it be of food, attention or changing of the litter box (Although I am not sure women are too keen on pooping in a box because ladies don’t poop! Amirite, ladies?) so they HAVE to let you pet them or show you some attention to act like they give a shit. But in the end, a cat would sell you out for a squeak toy and some salmon if they knew it would always be there. Just like a woman will leave you if she sees a bigger and better deal. Nothing wrong with that at all; I know I would. That’s because I am a golddigger. Can’t be hanging with no broke bitches:
Oh, I say it and I’m an asshole. WHATEVA, BITCH…I needs to get paid.
"I always complain about how my girlfriend expects me to do all of the 'man stuff' around the house, like replacing light bulbs and taking out the trash, but I secretly like it." —Mat, 25
See, this is the crap I am talking about when I say women and men are both fucking idiots. Doing things around the house isn’t “man’s work” or “wo-man’s work.” IT IS JUST FUCKING WORK. Maybe I am looking at this wrong and that is why every relationship I have had has crashed and burned like the Saudi Arabian pilots (Too soon? Naaaaaah!) but I honestly think that roles in a relationship should be done by whose qualified, not by who is gender specific. Just me, I guess.
"I would be bummed if my girlfriend stopped planning out our evenings several days in advance. It makes it easy for me because I don't have to plan anything, but it is annoying sometimes how organized a person can be." —Brian, 24
WHAT ARE YOU, TEN?! Now I have noticed that I stopped making plans because the things I like to do (Go to the theater, museums and the whatnot) are areas of entertainment usually frequented by gay men and older women which…is why my life has become increasingly rougher from 24 until now. But thems the breaks. This guy reminds me of an old man that calls his wife “mom” and has her lay out his clothes and pills. Don’t be that man, peeps. Be Chris Brown for all I care, but DON’T BE THAT MAN.
"My girlfriend has a tendency of stating the obvious. What I mean is that she will tell me to do something that I am clearly either in the process of doing or going to do. See, you girls always assume that we are eventually going to screw up and do something stupid, so you feel obliged to remind us at every opportunity.
It drives me nuts, but I guarantee that the moment she stops paying attention to what I'm doing or to if I'm doing it the way it should be done, I start feeling like she just doesn't care! So after a grunt or two, I go and fetch her to ask her opinion. Go figure!" —James, 25
Yeah, this will get you popped in your whore mouth! With this, I am not joking. Women screw up a hell of a lot more than men it’s just men’s screw ups are a lot more publicized. A woman screw up is being dumb enough to get knocked up by her jump off. A man’s screw up is…the Holocaust. Come on, that shit is funny!
In all seriousness, I don’t get how this can be seen as “cute” or anything other than annoying. If I ever ask anyone about their opinion about anything you know either I am drunk or on the verge of death because I could give a fuck what anyone thinks that aint my mom, my dog or David Motherfucking Bowie. Not even in that damn order. If I have learned nothing in my days on this Earth, I have learned that you ain’t trying to help Ike with all that talking. Now shut up and put some stank on it!
"I hate when my girlfriend watches shows like The Hills and The City, but recently I find myself secretly loving Monday TV nights." —Jake, 26
Fuck you. Monday Nights are made for one thing and one thing only: RANDY MOTHERFUCKING ORTON!
If you watch anything else on Monday Night aside from Randy Orton punting a McMahon in the head a week, you are wasting your time. That is all.
Countdown up tomorrow. Then more fricking time at the doctor’s office. All worth it, though.
What is up, peeps?! I am back for the first time in a few days and man…these few days have been a doozy. This was 10 times worse than the spider bite on my leg debacle. I think I was injected with the last of the G-Virus last night because a small bump under my arm grew an eye and began giving me orders to destroy Raccoon City. Yeah, IT WAS THAT FUCKING HUGE. So I went to the doctor and was told that it was a boil (FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!) and the area would have to be “evacuated” which meant “drained” which meant they were going to have to pop that mofo. That…is where the WORST DAY EVER BEGINS.
So as I am being prepped and the situation is being explained I am coming to grips with my utter and complete fear of hospitals. I mean a death fear, people. When I think hospitals I think zombies and other horrible acts. Name ONE GOOD THING that comes from hospitals? Those crazy fucking nurses from Silent Hill?:
Not I said the cat. So as that is going on I get my arm into position (Which hurt like hell because at that point this thing was the size of Snickers bar and I was NOT satisfied) and all of a sudden it stopped hurting. Now this is the point for the squimish people that you may just want to watch this video right now and leave. Something to NOT make you have nightmares:
You can leave now. That was kind of cute.
Well, I was relieved I had a momentary break in the earth-shattering pain that had been plaguing me since Monday when I looked over and realized WHY it had stopped hurting. My boil had FALCON PAWNCH!-ed itself from the damn inside:
I swear to the Wolven it looked like a scene from “You Can’t Do That On Television” and you people who have seen the show know what I mean and are just as disgusted as I am. My god…it was so damn horrible. I ruined a very good undershirt and one of my favorite casual shirts so I needless to say am kind of pissed off fashion wise but…that’s life. So the I laid on my side for about an hour as they tried to numb the area but the more they injected me…the more puss came out so it wouldn’t numb the area. So I got jabbed with a needle 13 times under my armpit today and I wont lie to you, it kind of sucked ass. Then the doctor cleaned out the wound (It was small and only needed a Band-Aid but after an ordeal like that…it was best to just go for the full Rain-X wash too) and gave me enough gauze to patch up Mick Foley after a Japanese Death Match (Look it up…or not if you want to hold down your lunch. But it has exploding tables because HE’S FUCKING HARDCORE!) which I think I am going to need because I have had to switch this bad boy already and it has only been four hours or so. So I have to go back Friday to see if the antibiotics ended up killing me (Which should be easy to tell…because I would be dead and all) and to get the cut checked on. Great people and a great job but…damn today was NOT FUN.
Well, that is all for now. I am probably going to curl up in the fetal position and cry for a while for the next few days but I will be back for the Countdown. Until then, PRE-ORDER BOA’S ENGLISH ALBUM RIGHT NOW! RIGHT THE HELL NOW!
Damn it, that song is catchy as all hell. Oh, and to Sarah Palin: join us in welcoming your daughter to BABYDADDY-VILLE!
Okay, Watchmen is out today and it is nine hours long so I have to get started so I can make it to work on time on Monday once it gets out…on Monday. It’s time for…
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
First, we have Falling Out:
Ikimonogakari – Kimagure Romanteikku (Peaked at #2) Nana Mizuki – TRICKSTER (Peaked at #2)
Two videos that came close to taking the top spot. Oddly enough: both stopped by YA-KYIM. Irony at its finest. Let’s begin with a J-Pop princess making her return!
20. Hikaru Utada – Come Back To Me(New Entry)
Come Back To Me - Utada We start off with the return of arguably the biggest J-Pop artist not named Ayumi Hamasaki! Miss Utada has been gone for quite a while and she returns with an English track of all things! I have to say it has a good R&B vibe to it and it is good to see her and BoA coming stateside. Bout damn time! 19. Young Jeezy featuring Nas – My President Is Black (Last Week #16) Jeezy and Nas fall three spots this week and look to be falling out of the Countdown after a long but disappointing run. Can Young Jeezy rebound after two lackluster videos? 18. Lil Wayne – Prom Queen (New Entry)
Prom Queen - Lil Wayne Young Weezy is on the Countdown! He was on here with Game a few months ago but this is his first time on here solo. I have been playing this song NON-STOP for the last few weeks and am kind of looking forward to his rock album. Hopefully it will be like Kanye’s out of the box experiment. 17. Kanye West – Heartless (Last Week #14) Mr. West falls three more spots this week as it looks like his dominance may be over for a spell. “Welcome to Heartbreak” premiered and I love that video so…expect to see it soon. 16. Aqua Timez - Velonica (Last Week # 13)
Speaking of falling, Aqua Timez is also falling this week and they have TWO NEW VIDEOS to back this one up. See, this is how you do things! 15. YA-KYIM respects KOME KOME CLUB – Kimi Ga Iru Dake De (Last Week #9, Four Weeks at #1) YA-KYIM falls from the Top Ten for the first time since 2008! This is one of the biggest videos of the year and it is only 3 months old! Can they keep the streak up? 14. Abingdon Boys School - STRENGTH (Last Week #18) ABS moves up four spots this week as they look to overtake UVERworld as the biggest rock band on the Countdown. Although if you toss in Paramore…they may be number three. Maybe even number four…IF YOU WANT A SPOILER! 13. Joe Inoue – Closer (Last Week #11) Joe falls two spots this week and slows down his descent. What the hell?! I kind of miss Naruto! Damn, I never thought I would say that but you don’t know what you got till it aint subbed I guess… 12. Yuna Ito – Trust You (Last Week #19, Biggest Mover) My baby boo moves up a HUGE seven spots this week! That is the second biggest jump EVER! I just realized this song samples “No One” by Alicia Keys in arguably the biggest “AH-HA” moment of 2009. Just so you know, that video went to number one for five weeks on the Countdown. Just saying. 11. Shion Tsuji – Sky Chord ~Otona ni Naru Kimi he~ (Last Week #15)
Speaking of moving up, Shion Tsuji moves up four big ones and is just short of the Top Ten! For her first time out, she is kind of rocking the box! Love this song, btw. 10. RSP with DA BUBBLE GUM BROTHERS – LA.LA.LA LOVE SONG (Last Week #6. One Week at #1) We begin the Top 10 with a former number one! It is also the longest running video on the Countdown this year and is closing in on May J’s record for the longest running video on the Countdown ever as it has been here since NOVEMBER. Now that’s big pimpin. 9. T.I. featuring Justin Timberlake – Dead and Gone (Last Week #12) Another day, another T.I. video in the Top Ten! TIP and J-Tim are back together again almost three years exactly when they were in the Top 10 last time with “My Love” man…that was three years ago? Shit, The Q is miles away at this point. 8. BoA - Eien (Last Week #10)
BoA moves up two spots this week as I wait for her fricking English album that WILL NEVER COME. Between her and Se7en I am giving up on the K-Pop invasion. 7. NERD – Sooner or Later (Last Week #4) After coming so close to taking the number one spot, NERD falls from the Top Five this week. I wonder when in the hell the CRS album is coming…if ever. 6. UVERworld – 99/100 Damashi no Tetsu (Last Week #8) UVERworld is creeping ever so close to ending the streak! They move up two spots this week as they inch ever closer to that elusive fourth number one video. Also…GET THEIR ALBUM NOW! 5. John Legend – Everybody Knows (Last Week #7)
Mr. Legend is back in the Top Five! His latest video (And clean shaven, might I ad) has moved up two spots this week and he has officially become the most dominant artist in the three year history of the Countdown. Damn right! 4. B.o.B. – I’ll Be In The Sky (Last Week #5) B.o.B. moves up a single spot this week as he looks to maybe make a big splash for himself. He has gotten higher than I was expecting, I will tell you that much. Even still, can he pull the upset of the year and make it to the top? Not now because we are down to three! 3. YA-KYIM respects SEAMO - SA IKOU! (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
YA-KYIM’s second number one video falls two spots this week! After dominating the countdown for a combined six weeks, they are in the bronze medal spot this week. I hope they bring me something new soon because if so this could be the biggest year for one artist ever! 2. Jesse McCartney – It’s Over (Last Week #3)
Jesse McCartney is shocking the world! He has moved up another spot to the runner up position! Yes, I like Jesse McCartney as he filled a pop void in my playlist and in my heart. Also, the remix for “How Do You Sleep?” with Ludacris should be out any day now. But until then, we have a new number one video! 1. BACK-ON – flyaway (Last Week #2, One Week at #1)
BACK-ON is on top! For the first time officially, BACK-ON has captured the crown and is officially the biggest band in the land! I have to say it is about time but at the same time they kind of don’t RELEASE ENOUGH FOR MY LIKING but that is a moot point. They are here now and they are rocking the top spot!
That is all for this week! Tune in next week to see if BACK-ON can hold on to number one for a second week! Or will Jesse McCartney shock the world and take over the top spot? Or can YA-KYIM rebound and make it a third week with the crown? See you in seven to find out!
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