Times Sure Are A Shaving...Innuendo, Err.

What is up, peeps! I am back for a Monday update and I have a topic that might be a little bit different from the norm. Now very rarely do I talk about my own personal habits because…I know you fuckers don’t care which is cool. My life isn’t as exciting as it seems. There is a lot of WEIRDNESS, but not really exciting. So with that being said, I am going to say something that many of you probably didn’t know. One of my biggest pet peeves is….

BODY HAIR

Seriously. I hate it with a passion. I hate body hair on hairy people (You know the ones. The look like a yeti mated with a wampa) and I am not even really a fan of long hair on women or men in general. It is why I loves me some Yuffie:

I will gladly take a seat over there if I can find me a good cosplayed Yuffie at NDK. You have heard it now, ladies. MAKE IT HAPPEN! So a lot of this post comes from the fact that my doctor asked me if I shaved my body hair when she asked about my boil. I had to tell the truth…I do. Now I don’t go and get the shaving cream and the leather strap like in The Color Purple but I do make sure that it doesn’t look like Ben Wallace is D’ing me up in the post on a rebound. You know that joke was funny.

So after it got better and I went to a surgeon and he gave me tips on how to avoid the horribleness that happened to me in the future, he told me to “trim” any areas that would be sensitive to ingrown hairs. As I left I realized something: I trim everywhere. Which…freaked me out a little but made me ask a question that I wasn’t comfortable with answering:

Is it gay to shave your body hair as a dude?

So my answer to this has always been NO but what I think is weird. It’s why I would rather have Kristen Chenoweth over Scarlett Johanssen. I likes me a woman that can sing…and is over the age of 35. It’s kind of a problem. I’m getting help with it. I stopped watching Lifetime and Oxygen for one. Anyway, I for one have to admit that I DO NOT want an untamed field on a woman and I would figure that it would only be fair that I do the same. Not only that, I feel that body hair is FUCKING GROSS and should be eliminated at all costs. Therefore….yes I do make sure the playing field between the hedges is ready for play on Saturday.

Yes, I just called my wang Sanford Stadium. In that’s stadium’s defense, it gets a lot more action than I do. I mean, at least six games a year. I don’t think I have had six women see my field in the last ten years. Although one was from Flordia and Georiga NEVER BEATS FLORIDA! SICK BURN! Sigh, I am so awesomely lame.

Well, I am out for now. I will try to be back on Tuesday or Wednesday. Until then stay up peeps.
Chachi Out