Good morning, everyone! It is a cold and snowy (?!) morning here in the CSP and all I can say is this is finally beginning to suck. It is April, this is getting a little pointless. I really need to kick Al Gore in the shins because this is NOT global warming. Oh, and for that PowerPoint presentation he called a movie. The 18 minutes I saw sucked ASS.
Okay, now as the regular readers may have noticed (all three of you) I have softened my stance on women as being succubi, destroyers of mankind (ironic, since they have wombs and all but life is a quandary) and dumber than zebras. Although the last one gets proved everytime I go to the club (can’t defeat science, ladies) the other two aren’t all true. However, something is bugging me. This isn’t just about women, this is about the idiocy of men mostly. Now, it is time for a new segment of the Passion of Chachi…
Chachi Line News Reports!
What Ever Happened to Chivalry?
Chivalry. Everyone knows what the word is, but what exactly does it mean? Most importantly, why is it so vilified? The reason I ask is simple. As one whose momma didn’t play no games (well she did, it was called ‘Smack A Fool For Living’) she taught me several things about women in my life:
Everyone deserves a good ass-kicking. You just should NEVER hit a woman.
Treat a woman like a woman whether she is with you or not.
Those dogs can smell drugs. So you gotta kick them in the nose! (Not about women per se, but this has came in handy a few times)
Be a gentleman, but don’t let a woman take advantage of you.
She told me some other stuff, but it was odds are while I was in a Sharpshooter and was blinded by pain. Long story short, my mom taught me be respectful, but to not be taken advantage of. Now I am an asshole and a pushover. Wow….that girl was right, I really don’t listen.
Anyway, back to the point. Yesterday I opened the door for a friend of mine and she said ‘You don’t have to open the door for me’ to which I replied ‘Yes, I do.’ After a lengthy (and partial listened to because Maximum the Hormone was on my deck and they are the mad notes) I asked why do women always get rather defensive about any act of a man just doing what is fucking normal? Then she said something that really put it all down. Something I didn’t want to accept because I couldn’t believe we had become such a sucky ass society:
“It’s the exception, that’s all”
Wow. Since when did doing what you were supposed to do become the exception and not the norm? It reminds me of the Chris Rock comments about fathers that raise their children. It is your JOB to take care of your fucking kids, you don’t deserve kudos. I don’t care if it isn’t the norm; it is what you are supposed to do. I think that as a man, you are supposed to open a door or pull a chair out for a woman. I don’t want a fucking cookie and I don’t necessarily need a thank you for it. Oh, and if you are a woman and you think that a man that shows you any form of kindness automatically wants to fuck you then you are a whore and listen to too many comics and worthless fucks that have no concept of being a gentleman. More on that later. Oh I am SO going back to that shit.
So why is chivalry all but dead? Well, it is a two way street of both women being raised stupid and men just being BORN stupid. A simple breakdown of what I have learned over the last 26 years of my life about women, men and the dynamic between the two leads me to believe that these are some (not all, but the major) reasons of the end of chivalry as we know it:
1) Men Aren’t Taught How To Be (Normal) Men
Okay, I am really getting sick of this shit right here. I know that men are supposed to be sex-crazed, sports-obsessed, disgusting forces of nature that are expected to command and conquer all they see. Well guess what? Last I checked, evolution happens (fuck intelligent design because men aint intelligent and the design leaves a lot to be desired) and really should have taken massive steps past clubbing women and taking them to the cave to make babies. Being a man aint about fucking, fighting and farting. It is protecting, providing and procuring knowledge to pass on. If all you can teach your kid is how to get a woman drunk enough to fuck you and the intricacies of a 46 defense (which truthfully is very effective with the right personnel) then congratulations. You are a leading force in the Dumbening of America. It’s people like you why kids are having sex in class and can’t find Oklahoma on a map of the United States. Way to help the gender, you ass.
2) Women Aren’t Taught How To Be Women
Yeah, I so went there. Women were at a crossroads in 1998 like Blacks were at a crossroads in the mid-1970’s. Instead of attempting to, I don’t know USE the rights that women fought for in the late 1800’s and early 1900’s you by attempting to create a better image and lifestyle for the next generation of women to lead you instead chose to get back tattoos, embrace your inner whore and forget that with power comes responsibility. I understand that women have every right to be defensive because a lot of men out their were raised (or grew up) stupid. However, and it pains me to say this, if you think the worst of people, all you will get is the worst out of life. I always say that I have given up on people and that people suck. I don’t honestly believe that because if I did I wouldn’t have met Rick, Zach, Kandi, Jen, D’Ann and most importantly Griff. Hell, people tried to get us to FIGHT on his first day and we hashed that out. Thinking the worst of men is a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy (and boy do I know about that) so if you think that all men aint shit, that’s all you will get because that is what you expect to get and it is WHAT YOU WILL GET. It’s not rocket science, its Communications.
3) Not EVERY Man Is Trying To Screw You
Now this goes against everything any woman has ever heard. Every comedian says it and every man says it because…well men are fucking stupid and for the most part lack originality. Men may invent the majority of the technological advances but actually thinking for ones self died with the rhetors of old. Nick and I had this discussion in great detail every fricking Friday and we just never got it. It is ingrained in every female at some point that all every man wants to do is fuck them Which can be seen as true. However, I hate to burst your bubble ladies but the chalice isn’t as much as a commodity as it used to be. If the vagina was currency, it would be the Euro. Sure, some of the lesser, crappier and swarthier countries use it, but REAL countries only take it when the time is right (i.e. when you are tourist dumb enough to change all your dollars into it). See, I am the King of Metaphors. Seriously, any woman that thinks that has a real low opinion of themselves that they believe that no man is interested in them enough to think that they are nothing more than a glory hole with a face. First off, you can never say all because if there is an exception then it becomes the rule and “all” is no longer a feasible option as one difference eliminates total uniformity in your logic. You can say “most” but even still that is a reach.
I think the real statement is “All men that YOU have dealt with have wanted to fuck you.” At that point it is soul searching time. I for example felt that all women were succubi in college. Then I realized it was the women that I dealt with that emotionally drained and mentally wrecked me to the point that I felt that I was un-dateable. By making me feel that way, it got to the point that when a female DID want to date me (like once every Olympic year or so, give or take a Goodyear Games year) I convinced myself that she didn’t. Sad, but true. I realized that was a stupid way to live (after a come to Jesus meeting my senior year with a female friend of mine that pretty much said stop being a punk ass trick and go for it. Funny story, I’ll tell you about it in a one off if you want to hear about it) and got over that. Now I am just bitter for humor reasons and to teach the young. I’m like a bitter Yoda.
Back to the original point. The simple fact is that a slight majority (from what I have noticed from my friends it’s about 60-65%) of women believe that when a man is nice to you, he is trying to get something from you. Well ladies, here is the sad truth. If a man REALLY wanted to “get” you, he would by any means necessary. That is a sad and scary statement but face it. It’s true. School violence is a reality, terrorism is a reality and men what will “dope and grope” is a reality. Be smart, ladies. Get a sippy cup. No spill AND you can get spiffy designs! Besides, any man that is willing to “drug and rub” will odds are not pull out your chair, open your door or pay for your dinner, even if you aren’t dating. Most pervert assholes are also cheap. Can I get an amen from Rick and the congregation about the Lazy Negro Theory?! It is an easy way to weed out the pricks from the gentlemen.
4) It Is Just The Right Thing To Do (IMHO)
You know what? Ignorance is spreading at an alarming rate. When someone is stupid (grinds on you at the club, buy you a drink that you didn’t see poured, is completely vulgar and disrespectful) to a woman in the club, usually she does nothing to stop it because it is expected. Yet, any act of normalcy (saying excuse me, standing to shake hands when someone comes to the table, no interrupting a conversation) is met with a weird look. Since when what doing the right thing seen as the wrong thing? I’m sorry, I open fucking doors. I’m a renegade male, it is how I do things. When a woman and go to lunch or dinner, I pay. It’s not a status thing (Ask Visa cause them fuckers aint NEVER getting paid) because I am poor and it is not because I am expecting some. It is because it is the right thing to do. As a woman, if you feel that because a man buys you a cookie that he is expecting some nookie you have no respect for yourself and you have no respect for him. Some men don’t deserve the respect and I will admit that. Hell, I know some of them. Some of us live with some of them. Some of you ladies DATED SOME OF THEM FOR AN EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME. You know who you are. In the end, as geeky as it sounds love (if you believe in it) is like a computer program. Garbage in, garbage out. If you go at it half-assed, you get a half-assed result. Same with chivalry. If you do what you should, nothing can come out of it but good. You got that right, turkey! Anyone notice that Blaster from Transformers and Roadblock from GI Joe were the same guy. And spoke in rhyme? Now THAT’S RACIST.
5) No One Knows What To Do.
Okay, this is no ones fault really. Most men don’t KNOW to open doors for women because they have never been taught. Most women don’t KNOW to take a jacket of a date or put one on (I was TOTALLY shocked when that happened on Friday, I will admit) is proper etiquette. In the end….no one really knows what to do.
In closing, I’m not saying America should be like LARPing with the whole ‘milady’ and ‘milord’ bullshit. However, some things are just courteous and chivalry is one of them. It isn’t about being manly or ladylike; it is about being a fucking nice person. It bugs me that being an asshole is the norm for men, and women allow it. Now ladies I am not saying to always expect a man to open your doors or pay for your meals. That’s disrespectful and how you get hit with a Muscle Buster, Samoa Joe style. A little kindness and courtesy goes a long way, in my opinion. I’m just saying. Aaaaaand that is my rant.
Well, that is all for now peeps. I will try to be back tomorrow for an American Idol recap! Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out!
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Monday, April 23, 2007
R3: The Revolution Has Been Re-Broughten! Again.
Hey, everybody! I’m back after about…twelve hours or so. I should really have a schedule for the blogging, but what can I say. I’m a renegade blogger, it’s how I do things. Well, it is the beginning of another workweek (boo to that shit) but it aint so bad. I got my “Wicked” tickets and got my tickets to “A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum” (Stand back! I take large steps!) which are pretty kick ass after finding out exactly where the hell they were. I am annoyed that there aren’t many good shows in the Springs (the last was the Pirates of Penzance, but I got stood the fuck up) but eh, thems the breaks.
So during my weekly excursion to the comic book store during my lunch break, I hung out and spoke to the comic book guys. Yeah…I’m a geek. Per usual, we had our rants about Garth Ennis (who never met a baby he couldn’t kill in a comic) and Brian Michael Bendis (who never met a superhero he couldn’t revamp/fuck up) and the conversation turned to something interesting. With the popularity of Heroes, 300 and other comic related vehicles/properties what ever happened to the superhero?
Now Zach and I had a conversation about how comics will never be in the mainstream in terms of prime time TV because they don’t relate to regular people. I have always been a believer in that is what makes a SUPERHERO. After reading Civil War, even after how heart wrenching the deaths of Bill Foster (Black Goliath) and Steve Rogers (Captain America, who earned MEGA cool point from me after standing up for not only what being American was about, but what being a hero was about) I realized that Marvel comics are going to suck ass for a LONG TIME.
For those that know, the aftermath of the Civil War is that heroes must now register as ‘superheroes’ and be supported/work for the government. They are now pretty much just government employees that can move buildings. By being forced to work for various governments and join teams to fight crime, they are no longer superheroes. They are…super-people? Spider-man was a superhero with human problems (coping with the power that he received and understanding the responsibility of not only being a hero but a human being). His conflicts were what defined him because in the end, even with the age old line (With great power comes great responsibility) it was his CHOICE to go out and make a difference using the powers given to him. He wasn’t forced to, he just made the right choice to help those that couldn’t. By Bendis creating this continuity of registered superheroes, they are no longer ‘superheroes’. At this point, they are just police officers or soldiers. As heroic as they are, it is their job to do so. Characters like Batman and Green Arrow used their abilities to fight for what is right, above and beyond what was required of them. It isn’t their responsibility to save their cities from crime, it is a choice. A role they took on to make a scary world safe. By taking away the choice, you take away the hero. Congratulations, Bendis. First you redid the Clone Wars and now you have destroyed Marvel Comics. I bet you rear naked choke puppies too, you sick bastard.
So yesterday I officially started the SABTAM (Send Akon Back To Africa Movement) and it seems I was justified. First he was working with “The King of R&Pee” R.Kelly. Then he decided to make shitty song after shitty song that women seem to love for no apparent reason. Then he gave the world T-Pain, the world’s number one predalope. For those that don’t know, I got that from Griff. I believe it means “half Preadtor, half antelope, ALL UGLY.” Now, to complete the Teen Thumping Trinity of Perverts (or 3TP as I will call them) Akon is now working with Michael Jackson. Man…I don’t know what to think anymore.
You know, I hate the fact that people say ‘Akon does charity for Africa! Why do you hate him so much?’ Well, charity is fine. Good for him and whoopty fucking doo. I don’t give to charity in Africa. Because I give to charity in America. You know, giving doesn’t make you a good fucking person. Remember “New Jack City” people?! Was Nino Brown a hell of a guy because he gave out turkeys during the holiday? Did that make up for the fact that the nigga sold CRACK TO THE SAME PEOPLE for 363 days of the damn year? I didn’t think so. Same thing. He gives back and he poisons the youth with ‘wining on the floor.’ First off you non-reading motherfucker it is WINDING. Learn to spell. Second off, any woman that does that on a dance floor and doesn’t get $20 is officially a fucking moron. Just like any man that will acknowledge her stupidity by buying her a drink. You see, ignorance is a circular theory.
You know, over the last few months I had been letting people get off too easy for being fucktards. After the whole job change thing and just trying to be a nice person (Hell, I deleted all of my porn the other day. I got a 300gb hard drive for my anime and Justice League! Wow…from pervert to geek) the dumbening of America has hit a breakneck pace. Peeps. It’s time. People….
THE REVOLUTION IS BACK, BITCHES!!
I put it on hold after college. Then, I put it on hold when I got laid off. Then I put in on hold because I became a sniveling whining bitch of a man. Not anymore. For the good of the peeps, it is time. The Revolution is back and I am taking no prisoners. We the peeps will be the new superheroes. We will fight for what is right. We will storm the streets and make them red with the blood of the stupid. We will show the world that no longer will being an idiot be tolerated. Some people have called me crazy. Some people have called me intolerant. Some people have called me a drunkard. Um…okay one out of three. Some people have said that my stance of the swift, violent and stylized elimination of the stupid is madness. No peeps. This isn’t madness….
THIS….IS…THE REVOLUTION!!!
There is salvation! There is a path to the ending of all the stupid in the world! And I will take my manasume (Don’t worry, The Equalizer is still around) and lead you to the Promised Land that is the future without the morons! Now comes the real question….who is with me?
WHO IS COMING WITH ME?!
Seriously, I need to know. I have to have an idea on how much punch and pie will I need. Yes, the revolution will not only be marketed, IT WILL BE CATERED! A revolutionary can’t smite the stupid on an empty stomach. Well, I got to go back to work. The revolution must be funded! And bills don’t pay themselves. I will be back up tomorrow maybe after American Idol. Definitly before the Countdown on Friday. Until then, stay up peeps. And check out the new theme song for The Revolution!
Freak Nasty is back, fishes! When I dip you dip we dip! Digging The Revolution without a shovel! Just kidding, I’m still working on the song. Any ideas? Let me know.
Chachi Out.
So during my weekly excursion to the comic book store during my lunch break, I hung out and spoke to the comic book guys. Yeah…I’m a geek. Per usual, we had our rants about Garth Ennis (who never met a baby he couldn’t kill in a comic) and Brian Michael Bendis (who never met a superhero he couldn’t revamp/fuck up) and the conversation turned to something interesting. With the popularity of Heroes, 300 and other comic related vehicles/properties what ever happened to the superhero?
Now Zach and I had a conversation about how comics will never be in the mainstream in terms of prime time TV because they don’t relate to regular people. I have always been a believer in that is what makes a SUPERHERO. After reading Civil War, even after how heart wrenching the deaths of Bill Foster (Black Goliath) and Steve Rogers (Captain America, who earned MEGA cool point from me after standing up for not only what being American was about, but what being a hero was about) I realized that Marvel comics are going to suck ass for a LONG TIME.
For those that know, the aftermath of the Civil War is that heroes must now register as ‘superheroes’ and be supported/work for the government. They are now pretty much just government employees that can move buildings. By being forced to work for various governments and join teams to fight crime, they are no longer superheroes. They are…super-people? Spider-man was a superhero with human problems (coping with the power that he received and understanding the responsibility of not only being a hero but a human being). His conflicts were what defined him because in the end, even with the age old line (With great power comes great responsibility) it was his CHOICE to go out and make a difference using the powers given to him. He wasn’t forced to, he just made the right choice to help those that couldn’t. By Bendis creating this continuity of registered superheroes, they are no longer ‘superheroes’. At this point, they are just police officers or soldiers. As heroic as they are, it is their job to do so. Characters like Batman and Green Arrow used their abilities to fight for what is right, above and beyond what was required of them. It isn’t their responsibility to save their cities from crime, it is a choice. A role they took on to make a scary world safe. By taking away the choice, you take away the hero. Congratulations, Bendis. First you redid the Clone Wars and now you have destroyed Marvel Comics. I bet you rear naked choke puppies too, you sick bastard.
So yesterday I officially started the SABTAM (Send Akon Back To Africa Movement) and it seems I was justified. First he was working with “The King of R&Pee” R.Kelly. Then he decided to make shitty song after shitty song that women seem to love for no apparent reason. Then he gave the world T-Pain, the world’s number one predalope. For those that don’t know, I got that from Griff. I believe it means “half Preadtor, half antelope, ALL UGLY.” Now, to complete the Teen Thumping Trinity of Perverts (or 3TP as I will call them) Akon is now working with Michael Jackson. Man…I don’t know what to think anymore.
You know, I hate the fact that people say ‘Akon does charity for Africa! Why do you hate him so much?’ Well, charity is fine. Good for him and whoopty fucking doo. I don’t give to charity in Africa. Because I give to charity in America. You know, giving doesn’t make you a good fucking person. Remember “New Jack City” people?! Was Nino Brown a hell of a guy because he gave out turkeys during the holiday? Did that make up for the fact that the nigga sold CRACK TO THE SAME PEOPLE for 363 days of the damn year? I didn’t think so. Same thing. He gives back and he poisons the youth with ‘wining on the floor.’ First off you non-reading motherfucker it is WINDING. Learn to spell. Second off, any woman that does that on a dance floor and doesn’t get $20 is officially a fucking moron. Just like any man that will acknowledge her stupidity by buying her a drink. You see, ignorance is a circular theory.
You know, over the last few months I had been letting people get off too easy for being fucktards. After the whole job change thing and just trying to be a nice person (Hell, I deleted all of my porn the other day. I got a 300gb hard drive for my anime and Justice League! Wow…from pervert to geek) the dumbening of America has hit a breakneck pace. Peeps. It’s time. People….
THE REVOLUTION IS BACK, BITCHES!!
I put it on hold after college. Then, I put it on hold when I got laid off. Then I put in on hold because I became a sniveling whining bitch of a man. Not anymore. For the good of the peeps, it is time. The Revolution is back and I am taking no prisoners. We the peeps will be the new superheroes. We will fight for what is right. We will storm the streets and make them red with the blood of the stupid. We will show the world that no longer will being an idiot be tolerated. Some people have called me crazy. Some people have called me intolerant. Some people have called me a drunkard. Um…okay one out of three. Some people have said that my stance of the swift, violent and stylized elimination of the stupid is madness. No peeps. This isn’t madness….
THIS….IS…THE REVOLUTION!!!
There is salvation! There is a path to the ending of all the stupid in the world! And I will take my manasume (Don’t worry, The Equalizer is still around) and lead you to the Promised Land that is the future without the morons! Now comes the real question….who is with me?
WHO IS COMING WITH ME?!
Seriously, I need to know. I have to have an idea on how much punch and pie will I need. Yes, the revolution will not only be marketed, IT WILL BE CATERED! A revolutionary can’t smite the stupid on an empty stomach. Well, I got to go back to work. The revolution must be funded! And bills don’t pay themselves. I will be back up tomorrow maybe after American Idol. Definitly before the Countdown on Friday. Until then, stay up peeps. And check out the new theme song for The Revolution!
Freak Nasty is back, fishes! When I dip you dip we dip! Digging The Revolution without a shovel! Just kidding, I’m still working on the song. Any ideas? Let me know.
Chachi Out.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Bohemians, Britons and Africans. The Chachi Goes WORLDWIDE!!!
Happy Sunday, peeps! Aw, ish, Duece K is back again! Some old Rappin 4-Tay for you. Well, it has been a while since I had been on the scene and I had a pretty eventful weekend for the first time since…well last weekend.
As a few of you know, I went to see ‘La Boheme’ this Friday (after a kickass time at the Sushi Den, which I could never FIND) mainly because I haven’t been to the theater since college and really wanted to go. Since aside from Zach and Nolan no one wanted to ever GO with me and two dudes at the theater is tres gay, it was cool to get to go again. Even though I actually wore a suit, which I hate, I was ABSOLUTLY out dressed by my date so it didn’t really matter. My hot mancake cannot compare to sexy ladycake. Hey, I can be humble; I got ‘Sexy Served’.
First off, Sushi Den is ‘teh nosh’. Although next time I go I have to get some sake and hit up the karaoke (Which I think they have. Any sushi restaurant without a karaoke machine is faking the funk) and do a little Kubota Toshinobu’s “La La La Love Song’ or Ken Hirai’s “Pop Star” which is SOOO gay but I SOOO don’t give a fuck. Secondly….oh my god…the blackened cod! It is so hard to get good fish these days, but MY GOD! The blackened cod! Flaky and tasty if I say so myself. Everything rocked the box (Kobe beef in a roll? What will they think of next?!), and dry sake is good stuff. I prefer the warm sake (KANPAI, BITCHES!) but if I would have did that I would have been a hot mess at the opera. And embarrassing my lady guy date is not cool. Hell, how many times have I embarrassed Rick, twelve? And we weren’t even dating. Seriously, I mean. We were both just kind of whores and in it for the money of which there was none. Kind of screwed up our plans. Anyway, the Sushi Den is where it is at, and they valet park! Oh, and big ups to the kid that liked my aviator glasses. He knew style.
On to La Boheme. If you haven’t seen La Boheme, just go download ‘RENT’, replace AIDS with tuberculosis and turn down the suck. Because after seeing La Boheme, I have a total distain for RENT and Jonathan Larson. All RENT is La Boheme for teenagers with short ass attention spans. I never knew why Zach hated the music of RENT so much….and then I listened to it again (Wow…”Poo, poo it?” That is some deep shit. Double joke). I’m sorry, dude you were justified. Aside from ‘Seasons of Love’ the songs were really bad. In comparison, La Boheme, albeit in Italian (which I must say, it felt GOOD to not need the subtitles all the time. I actually understood like…nine words! I rule you!) was catchy and the fit the moments of each act. The performances (for college students) were VERY good. Having only seen the Met performances on PBS (which I need to attend because the Met La Boheme and Phantom of the Opera rock your fucking face) I was totally impressed. Their voices were grand and the sets were well done and detailed to tits. That means good, by the way. All in all, it was an AWESOME show.
Now, for the only bad of the evening. Since when did everything close in Denver at 10pm?! I mean COME THE FUCK ON! This whole state is under a god damn curfew! All we wanted was some cake and coffee but NOOOOO! Everything was closed. Bullshit. I also realized that I have been to a lot of places in Denver and I was totally lit off my shit because I don’t remember…ANY of it. Great opera and awesome food even though Denver has a curfew. Great times!
So I woke up on Saturday and did my usual thing: dry cleaners, comic book store and bug Nolan at work. Yes, I am lame. After that, Zach and I saw a little movie called “Hot Fuzz” from the makers of the bad ass “Shaun of the Dead”. So it is now time for….
MASTER CHIEF CAPTAIN CHACHI GOES HOLLYWOOD!!
This Week’s Movie: Hot Fuzz!
First off, the bad. After watching “Shaun of the Dead” again, my initial feeling of it being better went a LITTLE BIT to the wayside. The humor in ‘Shaun of the Dead’ was a little more blatant (I would say 75% of the audience missed half the jokes and references in Hot Fuzz) and actually a little funnier all around. For the funny factor ‘Shaun’ beats ‘Fuzz’.
Aside from that, ‘Hot Fuzz’ ruled! I never really was a fan of the ‘zombie genre’ aside from ‘Evil Dead’ so I preferred this movie in that aspect. Hell, the only Resident Evil I liked was Resident Evil 4 and I think we all know why:
…..AND THEN NOTHING HAPPENS! That will FOREVER be funny. The plot was a little bit of a reach, but then again so are zombies. The twist is cool and lets just say that if you liked Bad Boys II (which I kind of did) and Point Break (which is Keanu at his acting BEST) you will love this movie. Oh, if you love violence and death then this is the film for you! It had the same amount of decapitations as “300” which may be tied with Highlander for the most ever. Now, it is time for the rundown:
Snooty chief inspector rather than the bombastic Black chief with a heart of gold? CHECK (You know, I dig the Black chief with a heart of gold)
British obscenities? CHECK (I’m sorry, but twat, tosser, cunt, spanner and bloody rule!)
A gun toting priest? CHECK
Wanton shotgun and semi-automatic weapon use by the elderly? CHECK.
The murder of one of those annoying fucking human statues? CHECK (Man, I hate those things. Worse than fucking mimes and homeless combined)
Totally wrecking some woman’s shit with gardening shears? CHECK
Beatdown of a special person? CHECK
Blatant theviery of other action movie endings? CHECK
Jump kicking of an old woman in the face? CHECK
A swan saving the day? CHECK (I was shocked too. Swans are the new penguin!)
In the end, Hot Fuzz was over-the-top, rather violent, action packed and tongue-in-cheek. While not as good as the previous offering, this movie kicked ass in its own right. Not as funny as ATHFCMFFT or as action packed as 300 but it is definitely the third best movie so far, well ahead of Ghost Rider and TMNT. The Chachi gives “Hot Fuzz”….
8 out of 10 stars!!
(Lives up to expectations that it very easily could have exceeded with a little bit more action and well timed humor. Even still, well worth the matinee watch, especially if you dig off-the-chain action movies!)
Well, I have some errands to run to I am about to boogie out. However, I ask of you to do something for me, peeps. As you know, I dispise the Akon. I mean I really hate him. He can’t sing, his beats all suck and he looks like K-Ci from Jodeci mated with Grace Jones and then they had a herd trample his face Mufasa style from “The Lion King” (Not…gonna cry….) and then tossed his ugly ass on the unsuspecting world. His fame and popularity is why I don’t like women because it is proof that money, just like that gun in the Fantastic Four is the Ultimate Nullifier of ugly, lack of talent or the lack of any other redeeming personality trait whatsoever (I have seen interviews with him, he is a fucking moron). Now, as I was reading Media Takeout (A.K.A. ‘The Nigga News) I found an article about how Akon dry-raped the FUCK out of a female at a show in Trinidad last week. Then, there were subsequent articles about how ‘she aint no little girl’ and she dressed like…well I chick in an Akon video. Irony, they name is Chachi.
I am sick of this shit. We all know (at least Zach, Nolan and I know) that any female 14 years old is stupid. As a matter of fact, ANYONE WHO IS 14 YEARS OLD IS FUCKING STUPID! They have no frame of reference about much of anything and are prone to mistakes. That being said, she obviously shouldn’t have been there at fourteen and she obviously shouldn’t have been dressed like at 14, no matter what kind of heat she is packing. All that being said, Akon is a grown ass man. That shit shouldn’t be done at a concert ANY-FUCKING-WAY. Do you see John Legend or Musiq this crap? No, and they are both infinitely more talented than this worthless fuck. He is like an uglier, crappier more annoying R.Kelly sans pissing. Hey, we don’t know what happened afterward. He could have given her something that never happens in Africa: yellow rain. God, this bastard has me making PISS JOKES! I am fed the fuck up with the ‘sexification’ of music, R&B in general. You know, sex has been around since Motown but it was never this blatant or shitty. I mean, Marvin Gaye sang ‘Let’s get it on’ but he didn’t mean right then on stage. Show some class, Akon. Sexing up 14 years olds may be commonplace in your home, but we don’t look to kindly on that shit here. You need to hit at LEAST 25 million albums before that’s cool.
Oh, and to all the Black people out there. Do not defend him because she was stupid. When someone jumps into a lion cage to take a picture with a lion, as dumb as that fucktard is we should still save them. Why? Because life is life and unless they are harming someone else with their stupidity (which you could say that they are harming who would be saving them but that is their FUCKING JOB so it doesn’t matter) they should be saved and then beaten with sticks for being an idiot. It stops people from doing stupid things. Same here. Akon should be punished for…well just being fucking nasty with a youngster and the youngster should be slapped until she understands she shouldn’t have been there to start with. Simple fix for a simple problem caused by SIMPLE ASS PEOPLE. That’s why no one learns. We just yell ‘robble robble robble’ about ‘girls being whores’ or ‘men being uncontrollable’ and nothing gets accomplished because ‘ROBBLE ROBBLE ROBBLE’ ARENT WORDS! I have said it before that this problem can only be fixed when men take other men to task for being worthless assholes and making us all look like Neanderthals and women take other women to task for being whores and bring their credibility down to fuckdoll levels. However, I have a fix for this Akon fool.
S.A.B.T.A.M.
What does SABTAM stand for? It stands for the Send Akon Back To Africa Movement. You tired of his annoying ass music? You think he looks like a deformed Kraken? Send him back home with his many wives and his Lamborghini Gallardo or whatever. I think America will be just fine without having to hear ‘Smack That’ ever again. That’s just me. So people, join me in sending Akon back to Africa! Hopefully, this will lead to a KBIIM (Keep Bono In Ireland Movement) soon!
Well, that is all for now. I will be up this week before next Fridays Video Top 20 Countdown. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out!
As a few of you know, I went to see ‘La Boheme’ this Friday (after a kickass time at the Sushi Den, which I could never FIND) mainly because I haven’t been to the theater since college and really wanted to go. Since aside from Zach and Nolan no one wanted to ever GO with me and two dudes at the theater is tres gay, it was cool to get to go again. Even though I actually wore a suit, which I hate, I was ABSOLUTLY out dressed by my date so it didn’t really matter. My hot mancake cannot compare to sexy ladycake. Hey, I can be humble; I got ‘Sexy Served’.
First off, Sushi Den is ‘teh nosh’. Although next time I go I have to get some sake and hit up the karaoke (Which I think they have. Any sushi restaurant without a karaoke machine is faking the funk) and do a little Kubota Toshinobu’s “La La La Love Song’ or Ken Hirai’s “Pop Star” which is SOOO gay but I SOOO don’t give a fuck. Secondly….oh my god…the blackened cod! It is so hard to get good fish these days, but MY GOD! The blackened cod! Flaky and tasty if I say so myself. Everything rocked the box (Kobe beef in a roll? What will they think of next?!), and dry sake is good stuff. I prefer the warm sake (KANPAI, BITCHES!) but if I would have did that I would have been a hot mess at the opera. And embarrassing my lady guy date is not cool. Hell, how many times have I embarrassed Rick, twelve? And we weren’t even dating. Seriously, I mean. We were both just kind of whores and in it for the money of which there was none. Kind of screwed up our plans. Anyway, the Sushi Den is where it is at, and they valet park! Oh, and big ups to the kid that liked my aviator glasses. He knew style.
On to La Boheme. If you haven’t seen La Boheme, just go download ‘RENT’, replace AIDS with tuberculosis and turn down the suck. Because after seeing La Boheme, I have a total distain for RENT and Jonathan Larson. All RENT is La Boheme for teenagers with short ass attention spans. I never knew why Zach hated the music of RENT so much….and then I listened to it again (Wow…”Poo, poo it?” That is some deep shit. Double joke). I’m sorry, dude you were justified. Aside from ‘Seasons of Love’ the songs were really bad. In comparison, La Boheme, albeit in Italian (which I must say, it felt GOOD to not need the subtitles all the time. I actually understood like…nine words! I rule you!) was catchy and the fit the moments of each act. The performances (for college students) were VERY good. Having only seen the Met performances on PBS (which I need to attend because the Met La Boheme and Phantom of the Opera rock your fucking face) I was totally impressed. Their voices were grand and the sets were well done and detailed to tits. That means good, by the way. All in all, it was an AWESOME show.
Now, for the only bad of the evening. Since when did everything close in Denver at 10pm?! I mean COME THE FUCK ON! This whole state is under a god damn curfew! All we wanted was some cake and coffee but NOOOOO! Everything was closed. Bullshit. I also realized that I have been to a lot of places in Denver and I was totally lit off my shit because I don’t remember…ANY of it. Great opera and awesome food even though Denver has a curfew. Great times!
So I woke up on Saturday and did my usual thing: dry cleaners, comic book store and bug Nolan at work. Yes, I am lame. After that, Zach and I saw a little movie called “Hot Fuzz” from the makers of the bad ass “Shaun of the Dead”. So it is now time for….
MASTER CHIEF CAPTAIN CHACHI GOES HOLLYWOOD!!
This Week’s Movie: Hot Fuzz!
First off, the bad. After watching “Shaun of the Dead” again, my initial feeling of it being better went a LITTLE BIT to the wayside. The humor in ‘Shaun of the Dead’ was a little more blatant (I would say 75% of the audience missed half the jokes and references in Hot Fuzz) and actually a little funnier all around. For the funny factor ‘Shaun’ beats ‘Fuzz’.
Aside from that, ‘Hot Fuzz’ ruled! I never really was a fan of the ‘zombie genre’ aside from ‘Evil Dead’ so I preferred this movie in that aspect. Hell, the only Resident Evil I liked was Resident Evil 4 and I think we all know why:
…..AND THEN NOTHING HAPPENS! That will FOREVER be funny. The plot was a little bit of a reach, but then again so are zombies. The twist is cool and lets just say that if you liked Bad Boys II (which I kind of did) and Point Break (which is Keanu at his acting BEST) you will love this movie. Oh, if you love violence and death then this is the film for you! It had the same amount of decapitations as “300” which may be tied with Highlander for the most ever. Now, it is time for the rundown:
Snooty chief inspector rather than the bombastic Black chief with a heart of gold? CHECK (You know, I dig the Black chief with a heart of gold)
British obscenities? CHECK (I’m sorry, but twat, tosser, cunt, spanner and bloody rule!)
A gun toting priest? CHECK
Wanton shotgun and semi-automatic weapon use by the elderly? CHECK.
The murder of one of those annoying fucking human statues? CHECK (Man, I hate those things. Worse than fucking mimes and homeless combined)
Totally wrecking some woman’s shit with gardening shears? CHECK
Beatdown of a special person? CHECK
Blatant theviery of other action movie endings? CHECK
Jump kicking of an old woman in the face? CHECK
A swan saving the day? CHECK (I was shocked too. Swans are the new penguin!)
In the end, Hot Fuzz was over-the-top, rather violent, action packed and tongue-in-cheek. While not as good as the previous offering, this movie kicked ass in its own right. Not as funny as ATHFCMFFT or as action packed as 300 but it is definitely the third best movie so far, well ahead of Ghost Rider and TMNT. The Chachi gives “Hot Fuzz”….
8 out of 10 stars!!
(Lives up to expectations that it very easily could have exceeded with a little bit more action and well timed humor. Even still, well worth the matinee watch, especially if you dig off-the-chain action movies!)
Well, I have some errands to run to I am about to boogie out. However, I ask of you to do something for me, peeps. As you know, I dispise the Akon. I mean I really hate him. He can’t sing, his beats all suck and he looks like K-Ci from Jodeci mated with Grace Jones and then they had a herd trample his face Mufasa style from “The Lion King” (Not…gonna cry….) and then tossed his ugly ass on the unsuspecting world. His fame and popularity is why I don’t like women because it is proof that money, just like that gun in the Fantastic Four is the Ultimate Nullifier of ugly, lack of talent or the lack of any other redeeming personality trait whatsoever (I have seen interviews with him, he is a fucking moron). Now, as I was reading Media Takeout (A.K.A. ‘The Nigga News) I found an article about how Akon dry-raped the FUCK out of a female at a show in Trinidad last week. Then, there were subsequent articles about how ‘she aint no little girl’ and she dressed like…well I chick in an Akon video. Irony, they name is Chachi.
I am sick of this shit. We all know (at least Zach, Nolan and I know) that any female 14 years old is stupid. As a matter of fact, ANYONE WHO IS 14 YEARS OLD IS FUCKING STUPID! They have no frame of reference about much of anything and are prone to mistakes. That being said, she obviously shouldn’t have been there at fourteen and she obviously shouldn’t have been dressed like at 14, no matter what kind of heat she is packing. All that being said, Akon is a grown ass man. That shit shouldn’t be done at a concert ANY-FUCKING-WAY. Do you see John Legend or Musiq this crap? No, and they are both infinitely more talented than this worthless fuck. He is like an uglier, crappier more annoying R.Kelly sans pissing. Hey, we don’t know what happened afterward. He could have given her something that never happens in Africa: yellow rain. God, this bastard has me making PISS JOKES! I am fed the fuck up with the ‘sexification’ of music, R&B in general. You know, sex has been around since Motown but it was never this blatant or shitty. I mean, Marvin Gaye sang ‘Let’s get it on’ but he didn’t mean right then on stage. Show some class, Akon. Sexing up 14 years olds may be commonplace in your home, but we don’t look to kindly on that shit here. You need to hit at LEAST 25 million albums before that’s cool.
Oh, and to all the Black people out there. Do not defend him because she was stupid. When someone jumps into a lion cage to take a picture with a lion, as dumb as that fucktard is we should still save them. Why? Because life is life and unless they are harming someone else with their stupidity (which you could say that they are harming who would be saving them but that is their FUCKING JOB so it doesn’t matter) they should be saved and then beaten with sticks for being an idiot. It stops people from doing stupid things. Same here. Akon should be punished for…well just being fucking nasty with a youngster and the youngster should be slapped until she understands she shouldn’t have been there to start with. Simple fix for a simple problem caused by SIMPLE ASS PEOPLE. That’s why no one learns. We just yell ‘robble robble robble’ about ‘girls being whores’ or ‘men being uncontrollable’ and nothing gets accomplished because ‘ROBBLE ROBBLE ROBBLE’ ARENT WORDS! I have said it before that this problem can only be fixed when men take other men to task for being worthless assholes and making us all look like Neanderthals and women take other women to task for being whores and bring their credibility down to fuckdoll levels. However, I have a fix for this Akon fool.
S.A.B.T.A.M.
What does SABTAM stand for? It stands for the Send Akon Back To Africa Movement. You tired of his annoying ass music? You think he looks like a deformed Kraken? Send him back home with his many wives and his Lamborghini Gallardo or whatever. I think America will be just fine without having to hear ‘Smack That’ ever again. That’s just me. So people, join me in sending Akon back to Africa! Hopefully, this will lead to a KBIIM (Keep Bono In Ireland Movement) soon!
Well, that is all for now. I will be up this week before next Fridays Video Top 20 Countdown. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out!
Thursday, April 19, 2007
I Think My Problem Is I Love Too Much.
What is up peeps! You know what time it is! Wait, it’s not Friday, you say? Well tomorrow I will be in D-Town so I am giving the peeps the good early. So get ready to dance, rock and get funky fresh because today is a special early Thursday edition of…
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We begin with a former #1 video that may be on the way out...
20. Namie Amuro – Baby Don’t Cry (Last Week #17, #1 for three weeks)
After a meteoric rise to Number One, Namie is STLL hanging on! She did very well with her first video ever on the Countdown and with another video on here, things aren’t looking bad for Ms. Namie.
19. M-Flo loves Crystal Kay – Love Don’t Cry (New Entry)
Well look who came crawling back! Verbal has his FOURTH video of 2007 on the Top 20 and needless to say, he is battling Yui for the Artist of the Year award. Not only that, Crystal Kay is back. She has grown up to be a fine, saucy lady. I do mean quite the top notch. It’s been a while since Kirikuni, I tell you what. Welcome back!
18. Hinoi Team – Dancin’ and Dreamin’ (Last Week #14)
It may be time to say goodbye to the lovely young ladies of Hinoi Team. After a pretty good first time out, this video looks to be spending its last week in Top 20. I still like ‘Now and Forever’ better, like THAT sounds any less dirty. I hate myself and everything I have become.
17. Maroon 5 – Makes Me Wonder (Last Week #20)
Not anymore! Man, this video is bad ass. As for the song, I am on the verge of making this bad boy into a ringtone. I really wasn’t a fan of Maroon 5 (mainly because everyone else was) but this song is hella catchy.
16. nobodyknows+ - Hero’s Come Back! (Last Week #18)
Hells yes. This video continues its upward movement, fighting up two spots this week. This is THE ring tone to have and if you DON’T have it you are ‘teh suck’ because only the cool kids get the Naruto theme songs. That is the lie I tell myself. I stick by it.
15. Namie Amuro – Funky Town (Last Week #16)
Namie moves up one more spot this week in all her thigh high boot glory. Man…that’s hella hot. She could use a haircut, though. Its getting kind of out there. Damn hippie.
14. Monkey Majik feat m-flo – Picture Perfect (Last Week #12)
So Monkey Majik seems to have stalled out this week as they fall just short of the Top 10. That also fails to give Verbal his third Top Ten of 2007. Eh, cant win them all.
13. Rascal Flats – Stand (Last Week #15)
Yeah….shut up. I like the Flatts. That is all.
12. Home Made Kazoku – Nagaraboshi ~Shooting Star~ (Last Week #10)
So ‘Fantastic 3’ has been rocking my world for the last few days. At the expense of this video however. Even though HMK falls out of the Top 10, this is still good stuff. And watch Naruto, fools! It’s back to kicking the ass! All of it, not some of it like Blood+.
11. Kumi Koda – Get Up & Move! (Last Week #13)
It has been a LONG time since Kumi Koda was in the Top 10 (she was at #2 for three weeks with ‘Juicy’ last year, not to be confused with ‘Juicy (Got Em Crazy) by Oaktown 357. Easy mistake) and she looks on the verge of getting back there. One of the few videos out with funky fresh dance moves and Kumi and I have a thang. A LUV THANG! CeCe Peniston! Anyone…? Fuck….off to the Top Ten.
10. K-OS – Sunday Morning (Last Week #11)
Welcome to the Top Ten and we begin with a first timer! This video is pretty sweet and since they play it on VH1 Soul (which actually has a kind of low suck factor. They still play Akon, though) I get to see it every now and then on TV! K-OS has actually been around for a while and even though I was a fan, I was never as hyped about him as I am now.
9. Game feat. Kanye West – Wouldn’t Get Far (Last Week #8)
The Game drops a spot this week and is the highest hip hop video on the Countdown. Says a lot about my opinion of the genre. Odds are, from what I am seeing this will be the last hip hop video (aside from K-OS) on the Countdown until Outkast, T.I. or Common come out with a new one, odds are summertime. I’m gonna miss the hip to the hippity.
8. Yuna Ito – I’m Here (Last Week #9)
Uh oh. We could end up having a new flame (Yuna) vs. old love (Kumi) battle in the Top 10! Can you say CATFIGHT?! I know I can. Hey, Zach? What is catfight in Japanese? Anyway, this video is nice and I FINALLY saw Unfair subbed. It actually isn’t all that bad. I need to watch a few more episodes but I will keep you posted.
7. Bennie K – 1001 Nights (Last Week #4)
Bad news: Bennie K falls another three spots after failing to take the Top Spot. The good news? ALBUM COMING IN MAY! IT FEELS SO GOOD!! I CANT STOP!! YES, GOD YES!!! I think I’m good…whooo…oh yeah….next video..
6. Three Days Grace – Never Too Late (Last Week #7)
Thee Days OH GOD!! WAIT FOR IT…oh…man thought I was done. Had another one in me. Anyway, this video moves a little bit closer to the top. You know, my liking of rock has grown after finally tolerating Disturbed (they used to irritate the hell out of me, but 10,000 Fists rocks your grill piece) I decided to give it a chance. I like it now. Onto the Top 5!
5. Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend (Last Week #6)
Yes, that name is right. Avril Lavigne has managed to make it into the Top 5. And you know what? You can leave me alone. I like this song! Oh, and check out the player on the side (I got it on both MySpace AND Blogger. Eat THAT, technology!) and you will hear the Japanese version! It’s just the hook, but still. Good stuff.
4. UVERworld – Zero no Kotae (Last Week #5)
Yeah, you know it. UVERworld looks like they may be having a stand off against John Legend once again! The are 1-1 against him, losing with Shamrock vs. Once Again but they did hold off Heaven with Kimi no Suki na Uta. Will there be a rubber match? We will find out soon! Now, for the biggest three videos in the land!!
3. Daughtry – It’s Not Over (Last Week #2, two weeks at #1)
After looking like he may be ready for a second tenure as the Chachi in Chief, Daughtry falls back to #3! His next single ‘Home’ is out and the video was filmed (reportedly) two weeks ago so don’t fret Daughtr-a-holics! He should be back with another one soon! So, who is the runner up this week?
2. Yui – CHE.R.RY (Last Week #3)
Mmmm…I digs the Yui. I think she is quite the saucy. She moves up to #2 this week and is looking for her second Number One video! That would make two #1’s this year for her and that’s big stuff! I love the acoustic version of this song (on the single) and I wonder if she will ever come to America. Because if she does…I will have to snatch her up Borat style. Well, it’s time for the Number One video…
1. John Legend – PDA (We Just Don’t Care) (Last Week #1, four weeks at #1)
And the CHAMP IS STILL HERE! He holds the record for most weeks at #1 (11 total with three videos) and looks to be going strong! I missed the concert (it was on the 10th, was gonna get tickets but spent the money on someone more important) but he should be back later this year for the Kanye West tour so it’s all good. Congrats to for a full month at #1!
Well, again we end where we end last week. Can Yui end John Legend’s reign? Or will UVERworld attempt to pull a Muhammad Ali and win the final two fights to become the Kings of the Countdown? Don’t forget about Daughtry and Avril waiting in the wings! Or, can John extend his domination for another week? Tune in next Friday on the normal day to find out!
I will try to be up on Saturday but if not I will be back next week. Stay up peeps! Oh, and just in case you were wondering, I will change the player to add the new songs every Saturday morning, depending on whether I am hung over. Keep it real!
Chachi Out.
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We begin with a former #1 video that may be on the way out...
20. Namie Amuro – Baby Don’t Cry (Last Week #17, #1 for three weeks)
After a meteoric rise to Number One, Namie is STLL hanging on! She did very well with her first video ever on the Countdown and with another video on here, things aren’t looking bad for Ms. Namie.
19. M-Flo loves Crystal Kay – Love Don’t Cry (New Entry)
Well look who came crawling back! Verbal has his FOURTH video of 2007 on the Top 20 and needless to say, he is battling Yui for the Artist of the Year award. Not only that, Crystal Kay is back. She has grown up to be a fine, saucy lady. I do mean quite the top notch. It’s been a while since Kirikuni, I tell you what. Welcome back!
18. Hinoi Team – Dancin’ and Dreamin’ (Last Week #14)
It may be time to say goodbye to the lovely young ladies of Hinoi Team. After a pretty good first time out, this video looks to be spending its last week in Top 20. I still like ‘Now and Forever’ better, like THAT sounds any less dirty. I hate myself and everything I have become.
17. Maroon 5 – Makes Me Wonder (Last Week #20)
Not anymore! Man, this video is bad ass. As for the song, I am on the verge of making this bad boy into a ringtone. I really wasn’t a fan of Maroon 5 (mainly because everyone else was) but this song is hella catchy.
16. nobodyknows+ - Hero’s Come Back! (Last Week #18)
Hells yes. This video continues its upward movement, fighting up two spots this week. This is THE ring tone to have and if you DON’T have it you are ‘teh suck’ because only the cool kids get the Naruto theme songs. That is the lie I tell myself. I stick by it.
15. Namie Amuro – Funky Town (Last Week #16)
Namie moves up one more spot this week in all her thigh high boot glory. Man…that’s hella hot. She could use a haircut, though. Its getting kind of out there. Damn hippie.
14. Monkey Majik feat m-flo – Picture Perfect (Last Week #12)
So Monkey Majik seems to have stalled out this week as they fall just short of the Top 10. That also fails to give Verbal his third Top Ten of 2007. Eh, cant win them all.
13. Rascal Flats – Stand (Last Week #15)
Yeah….shut up. I like the Flatts. That is all.
12. Home Made Kazoku – Nagaraboshi ~Shooting Star~ (Last Week #10)
So ‘Fantastic 3’ has been rocking my world for the last few days. At the expense of this video however. Even though HMK falls out of the Top 10, this is still good stuff. And watch Naruto, fools! It’s back to kicking the ass! All of it, not some of it like Blood+.
11. Kumi Koda – Get Up & Move! (Last Week #13)
It has been a LONG time since Kumi Koda was in the Top 10 (she was at #2 for three weeks with ‘Juicy’ last year, not to be confused with ‘Juicy (Got Em Crazy) by Oaktown 357. Easy mistake) and she looks on the verge of getting back there. One of the few videos out with funky fresh dance moves and Kumi and I have a thang. A LUV THANG! CeCe Peniston! Anyone…? Fuck….off to the Top Ten.
10. K-OS – Sunday Morning (Last Week #11)
Welcome to the Top Ten and we begin with a first timer! This video is pretty sweet and since they play it on VH1 Soul (which actually has a kind of low suck factor. They still play Akon, though) I get to see it every now and then on TV! K-OS has actually been around for a while and even though I was a fan, I was never as hyped about him as I am now.
9. Game feat. Kanye West – Wouldn’t Get Far (Last Week #8)
The Game drops a spot this week and is the highest hip hop video on the Countdown. Says a lot about my opinion of the genre. Odds are, from what I am seeing this will be the last hip hop video (aside from K-OS) on the Countdown until Outkast, T.I. or Common come out with a new one, odds are summertime. I’m gonna miss the hip to the hippity.
8. Yuna Ito – I’m Here (Last Week #9)
Uh oh. We could end up having a new flame (Yuna) vs. old love (Kumi) battle in the Top 10! Can you say CATFIGHT?! I know I can. Hey, Zach? What is catfight in Japanese? Anyway, this video is nice and I FINALLY saw Unfair subbed. It actually isn’t all that bad. I need to watch a few more episodes but I will keep you posted.
7. Bennie K – 1001 Nights (Last Week #4)
Bad news: Bennie K falls another three spots after failing to take the Top Spot. The good news? ALBUM COMING IN MAY! IT FEELS SO GOOD!! I CANT STOP!! YES, GOD YES!!! I think I’m good…whooo…oh yeah….next video..
6. Three Days Grace – Never Too Late (Last Week #7)
Thee Days OH GOD!! WAIT FOR IT…oh…man thought I was done. Had another one in me. Anyway, this video moves a little bit closer to the top. You know, my liking of rock has grown after finally tolerating Disturbed (they used to irritate the hell out of me, but 10,000 Fists rocks your grill piece) I decided to give it a chance. I like it now. Onto the Top 5!
5. Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend (Last Week #6)
Yes, that name is right. Avril Lavigne has managed to make it into the Top 5. And you know what? You can leave me alone. I like this song! Oh, and check out the player on the side (I got it on both MySpace AND Blogger. Eat THAT, technology!) and you will hear the Japanese version! It’s just the hook, but still. Good stuff.
4. UVERworld – Zero no Kotae (Last Week #5)
Yeah, you know it. UVERworld looks like they may be having a stand off against John Legend once again! The are 1-1 against him, losing with Shamrock vs. Once Again but they did hold off Heaven with Kimi no Suki na Uta. Will there be a rubber match? We will find out soon! Now, for the biggest three videos in the land!!
3. Daughtry – It’s Not Over (Last Week #2, two weeks at #1)
After looking like he may be ready for a second tenure as the Chachi in Chief, Daughtry falls back to #3! His next single ‘Home’ is out and the video was filmed (reportedly) two weeks ago so don’t fret Daughtr-a-holics! He should be back with another one soon! So, who is the runner up this week?
2. Yui – CHE.R.RY (Last Week #3)
Mmmm…I digs the Yui. I think she is quite the saucy. She moves up to #2 this week and is looking for her second Number One video! That would make two #1’s this year for her and that’s big stuff! I love the acoustic version of this song (on the single) and I wonder if she will ever come to America. Because if she does…I will have to snatch her up Borat style. Well, it’s time for the Number One video…
1. John Legend – PDA (We Just Don’t Care) (Last Week #1, four weeks at #1)
And the CHAMP IS STILL HERE! He holds the record for most weeks at #1 (11 total with three videos) and looks to be going strong! I missed the concert (it was on the 10th, was gonna get tickets but spent the money on someone more important) but he should be back later this year for the Kanye West tour so it’s all good. Congrats to for a full month at #1!
Well, again we end where we end last week. Can Yui end John Legend’s reign? Or will UVERworld attempt to pull a Muhammad Ali and win the final two fights to become the Kings of the Countdown? Don’t forget about Daughtry and Avril waiting in the wings! Or, can John extend his domination for another week? Tune in next Friday on the normal day to find out!
I will try to be up on Saturday but if not I will be back next week. Stay up peeps! Oh, and just in case you were wondering, I will change the player to add the new songs every Saturday morning, depending on whether I am hung over. Keep it real!
Chachi Out.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Hip Hop Ain't Dead, The Game Just Took A Couple Shots...
Aw, snap! Hump day in the hizzy, and don’t you for-gizzy! Well, yesterday I had my tangent about the Virginia Tech Incident and for the most part I am cool. I’m not really a religious person, so I just ask that people grieve in their own way and come to grips with tragedy whatever way they can. Except via horrible, horrible tribute song. I am looking at YOU Alan Jackson. Oh man….I hope R.Kelly doesn’t record a tribute song. I may just have to regulate. Mount up!
Alrighty, now that I have gotten that out of the way it is time for me to go back to my normal material: dumb ass people. With the whole Don Imus thing blown over (finally!) it seems that the focus has shifted back to where all the blame goes when something goes wrong in America: hip hop.
Okay, as many of you know (or like six) I have a love/hate relationship with hip hop as music and culture. Seeing as how the music has been turned to shit and the culture is now marketed in Avis commercials all I can say is ‘meh’ to it for now. What is so funny is that every few months people get up in arms about how hip hop is offensive and destroying America. Yet…people listen to MIMS (who licks dirty donkey testicles talent-wise) like he’s hot solely because he tells us so. I can say I’m skinny, doesn’t make it true. The lyrics have come under fire by Oprah, especially after she wouldn’t let the ‘Gangsta rapper’ Ludacris on her show and when she did she grilled him.
Well, first off gangsta rap sucked. I was there in its heyday and it sucked then. If any rappers out right now are gangsta rappers I haven’t heard them. The only people using that name are (once again) old ass Black people and STUPID ASS WHITE PEOPLE (looking at Papa Bear). You can say whatever you want to about the lyrics because they usually suck. From Eminem to 50 Cent to Nelly to even T.I. (and I dig the King of the South but he gets rather repetitive) all are lyrically stalled on ‘booty butt, booty butt, booty butt cheeks’ and ‘bling blong’. Before you white people start to defend Eminem for being ‘talented’ he raps about the same shit on his albums, he just releases radio friendly singles to hide the fact that he is like every other shitty ass rapper.
As of right now, I am willing to say that more that 85% of rap sucks. To people who says all rap sucks you have no frame of reference if you only listen to what your worthless ass roommate listens to or what they play on the radio. The radio is very structured in what they play, and there is a specific reason you don’t hear Common, Atmosphere, K-OS or Mos Def on the radio. They don’t sell and aren’t marketable to a mass audience. Which has become the problem. Aside from Kanye West (who is once again working my nerves) and Outkast no rappers outside of the standard (booty, bling and bankroll. Shit, that will probably be Nelly’s next album title. If it is, I will so sue) fare have been successful by record label terms. Now as one who listened to hip hop for 25 years for the most part exclusively I believe I have a good frame of reference to say it sucks as a whole. Not just individual artists, but the genre. Just so you know, the ‘Brokeback Mountain Theory’ of I don’t have to see it to know it sucks works on an individual basis, not as a blanket term. To just say all of a genre sucks without any knowledge of it is just plain ignorant. The last thing we need is to spread more ignorance.
So let me ask the question: is it up to the artist to monitor what they say for the youth of America? No. Why? Because if a youth is going to shoot up a school, harass a classmate, or as Riley would say ‘shoot a nigga’ because of what a rap song tells you then you are a fucktard and need to removed or made infertile because we don’t need more of you. The fact is that saying nigga, ho, bitch and whatever else in a song doesn’t make it right for anyone else to say it because those words shouldn’t be said. I kind of believe that instead of being upset about someone calling a woman a ho, you should not BE ONE so the word has no meaning and they just become an idiot. Women accepting that (I hear more women call each other ho than men ever have) word gives it meaning. Like I said on my Nigger Post (wow…that is JACKED UP no matter how you say it) words like that should incite a change. Not make you ‘pop, drop and lock it’.
I pondered the question in my Ethnic Studies/Women’s Studies class about why women dance to ‘Get Low’ by Lil Jon and ‘Shake Yo Tailfeather’ by Nelly when the song is just a four minute insult to women. All the answers were along the lines of ‘they aren’t talking to me and I like the beat and/or to dance to it’. First off, you dumb bitch they are talking to you. Don’t lie to yourself or me. Second off, since dancing now is just rejected stripper moves (when I was at the Thirsty Parrot women were dancing with a broom like it was a stripper pole. I NEVER want hear women complain about being treated like a stripper when YOU LITERALLY ACT LIKE A STRIPPER! THAT SHIT IS STUPID!) I will actually accept the good beat and dance to it part. There is nothing better than funky fresh dance moves. However, YOU DON’T DANCE. You grind like…well a stripper trying to earn an extra $20. I go to the club to make fun of people and dance to one or two songs. I don’t go to the club to get damn near sexually assaulted. Especially to a shitty song (One of many reasons why I hate Akon and the club so much. I have NEVER been so violated in my LIFE. She took my innocence from me!). So long story short, I will tell women what I say all the time. Respect yourself and others will respect you. Don’t dance to or listen to these songs and they will stop (foreshadowing….thy name is Will).
Lastly, to all the Black people complaining about rap. Shut the fuck up. SHUT THE FUCK…UP! The simple fact is that White people lack originality. All they can do is take from others (J-Tim, Elvis, Jerry Lee Lewis) or exploit others work (Jimmy Iovine, whoever runs Viacom, Clive Davis). Hell, even in science! A Black man cured polio, he just went to get a Coke to celebrate and a White man stole it! The airplane? Black man. Niggas don’t swim! That’s why we are here right now! Okay…that was messed up.
I AM JOKING!
In all serialness, Black people always say that rap needs to change. Yet, every three months they repackage the same shit just move the region (West Coast, East Coast, Atlanta, New Orleans, Miami and Chicago now. Watch, Denver is next!) so it is as DJ Clue would say ‘NEW SHIT!’ It is not new shit, it’s the same shit and we as Black people accept it. We accept 50 Cent and his gorilla-looking ass. We allow Nelly and Paul Wall (Who is TOTALLY white. I thought he was mixed!) to push grillz in our mouths. We relish in the gaudy jewelry and asininely lavish lifestyle that is Baby and Lil Wayne. What is even worse, we accept the violent lyrics and insulting caricatures of women and young black men because it is keeping it real. Fuck. The only thing that sells better than sex is ignorance. Same thing I said to women applies to Black people. Don’t accept the ignorance spreading. Either ignore it, buy a damn Talib Kweli album or switched to J-pop and anime like I did. Sure you lose all your friends but true friends are down with the Bleach and Death Note anyway.
Final point: not listening won’t stop it because those who like it still will listen. Hit rappers where it hurts: the cash, the feti, the loot, the coinage, the fedarali, the flow, the duckets, the bottom line, the stacks, the stash, the green, the dollaz, the cream, the cheddar, the hibbidy bipptity, the dead presidents, the payola, the stackola. Don’t buy the records, don’t go to the shows and don’t go to the club. Avioding all will make you a better person. Instead, read a god damn book! Watch a movie! Take a walk! Do anything, and soon they will realize that what is out will not be accepted and not what we want to hear as hip hop fans. I know what I want to hear. Hip hop about making a change. Hip hop about having fun. Hip hop about enjoying your life. I want to hear some Kid ‘n’ Play, fool! WHAT!
Stay true peeps. Chachi will be back for the Countdown on Friday and may be back up tomorrow.
Proper.
Alrighty, now that I have gotten that out of the way it is time for me to go back to my normal material: dumb ass people. With the whole Don Imus thing blown over (finally!) it seems that the focus has shifted back to where all the blame goes when something goes wrong in America: hip hop.
Okay, as many of you know (or like six) I have a love/hate relationship with hip hop as music and culture. Seeing as how the music has been turned to shit and the culture is now marketed in Avis commercials all I can say is ‘meh’ to it for now. What is so funny is that every few months people get up in arms about how hip hop is offensive and destroying America. Yet…people listen to MIMS (who licks dirty donkey testicles talent-wise) like he’s hot solely because he tells us so. I can say I’m skinny, doesn’t make it true. The lyrics have come under fire by Oprah, especially after she wouldn’t let the ‘Gangsta rapper’ Ludacris on her show and when she did she grilled him.
Well, first off gangsta rap sucked. I was there in its heyday and it sucked then. If any rappers out right now are gangsta rappers I haven’t heard them. The only people using that name are (once again) old ass Black people and STUPID ASS WHITE PEOPLE (looking at Papa Bear). You can say whatever you want to about the lyrics because they usually suck. From Eminem to 50 Cent to Nelly to even T.I. (and I dig the King of the South but he gets rather repetitive) all are lyrically stalled on ‘booty butt, booty butt, booty butt cheeks’ and ‘bling blong’. Before you white people start to defend Eminem for being ‘talented’ he raps about the same shit on his albums, he just releases radio friendly singles to hide the fact that he is like every other shitty ass rapper.
As of right now, I am willing to say that more that 85% of rap sucks. To people who says all rap sucks you have no frame of reference if you only listen to what your worthless ass roommate listens to or what they play on the radio. The radio is very structured in what they play, and there is a specific reason you don’t hear Common, Atmosphere, K-OS or Mos Def on the radio. They don’t sell and aren’t marketable to a mass audience. Which has become the problem. Aside from Kanye West (who is once again working my nerves) and Outkast no rappers outside of the standard (booty, bling and bankroll. Shit, that will probably be Nelly’s next album title. If it is, I will so sue) fare have been successful by record label terms. Now as one who listened to hip hop for 25 years for the most part exclusively I believe I have a good frame of reference to say it sucks as a whole. Not just individual artists, but the genre. Just so you know, the ‘Brokeback Mountain Theory’ of I don’t have to see it to know it sucks works on an individual basis, not as a blanket term. To just say all of a genre sucks without any knowledge of it is just plain ignorant. The last thing we need is to spread more ignorance.
So let me ask the question: is it up to the artist to monitor what they say for the youth of America? No. Why? Because if a youth is going to shoot up a school, harass a classmate, or as Riley would say ‘shoot a nigga’ because of what a rap song tells you then you are a fucktard and need to removed or made infertile because we don’t need more of you. The fact is that saying nigga, ho, bitch and whatever else in a song doesn’t make it right for anyone else to say it because those words shouldn’t be said. I kind of believe that instead of being upset about someone calling a woman a ho, you should not BE ONE so the word has no meaning and they just become an idiot. Women accepting that (I hear more women call each other ho than men ever have) word gives it meaning. Like I said on my Nigger Post (wow…that is JACKED UP no matter how you say it) words like that should incite a change. Not make you ‘pop, drop and lock it’.
I pondered the question in my Ethnic Studies/Women’s Studies class about why women dance to ‘Get Low’ by Lil Jon and ‘Shake Yo Tailfeather’ by Nelly when the song is just a four minute insult to women. All the answers were along the lines of ‘they aren’t talking to me and I like the beat and/or to dance to it’. First off, you dumb bitch they are talking to you. Don’t lie to yourself or me. Second off, since dancing now is just rejected stripper moves (when I was at the Thirsty Parrot women were dancing with a broom like it was a stripper pole. I NEVER want hear women complain about being treated like a stripper when YOU LITERALLY ACT LIKE A STRIPPER! THAT SHIT IS STUPID!) I will actually accept the good beat and dance to it part. There is nothing better than funky fresh dance moves. However, YOU DON’T DANCE. You grind like…well a stripper trying to earn an extra $20. I go to the club to make fun of people and dance to one or two songs. I don’t go to the club to get damn near sexually assaulted. Especially to a shitty song (One of many reasons why I hate Akon and the club so much. I have NEVER been so violated in my LIFE. She took my innocence from me!). So long story short, I will tell women what I say all the time. Respect yourself and others will respect you. Don’t dance to or listen to these songs and they will stop (foreshadowing….thy name is Will).
Lastly, to all the Black people complaining about rap. Shut the fuck up. SHUT THE FUCK…UP! The simple fact is that White people lack originality. All they can do is take from others (J-Tim, Elvis, Jerry Lee Lewis) or exploit others work (Jimmy Iovine, whoever runs Viacom, Clive Davis). Hell, even in science! A Black man cured polio, he just went to get a Coke to celebrate and a White man stole it! The airplane? Black man. Niggas don’t swim! That’s why we are here right now! Okay…that was messed up.
I AM JOKING!
In all serialness, Black people always say that rap needs to change. Yet, every three months they repackage the same shit just move the region (West Coast, East Coast, Atlanta, New Orleans, Miami and Chicago now. Watch, Denver is next!) so it is as DJ Clue would say ‘NEW SHIT!’ It is not new shit, it’s the same shit and we as Black people accept it. We accept 50 Cent and his gorilla-looking ass. We allow Nelly and Paul Wall (Who is TOTALLY white. I thought he was mixed!) to push grillz in our mouths. We relish in the gaudy jewelry and asininely lavish lifestyle that is Baby and Lil Wayne. What is even worse, we accept the violent lyrics and insulting caricatures of women and young black men because it is keeping it real. Fuck. The only thing that sells better than sex is ignorance. Same thing I said to women applies to Black people. Don’t accept the ignorance spreading. Either ignore it, buy a damn Talib Kweli album or switched to J-pop and anime like I did. Sure you lose all your friends but true friends are down with the Bleach and Death Note anyway.
Final point: not listening won’t stop it because those who like it still will listen. Hit rappers where it hurts: the cash, the feti, the loot, the coinage, the fedarali, the flow, the duckets, the bottom line, the stacks, the stash, the green, the dollaz, the cream, the cheddar, the hibbidy bipptity, the dead presidents, the payola, the stackola. Don’t buy the records, don’t go to the shows and don’t go to the club. Avioding all will make you a better person. Instead, read a god damn book! Watch a movie! Take a walk! Do anything, and soon they will realize that what is out will not be accepted and not what we want to hear as hip hop fans. I know what I want to hear. Hip hop about making a change. Hip hop about having fun. Hip hop about enjoying your life. I want to hear some Kid ‘n’ Play, fool! WHAT!
Stay true peeps. Chachi will be back for the Countdown on Friday and may be back up tomorrow.
Proper.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Much Respect.
Good morning, peeps! It is a cold, windy and wet Tuesday and all I can say is ‘bleh’ to this. Thems the breaks, though.
I usually do some commentary on Tuesday and we all know what happened yesterday. New J.R.R. Tolkien book! Just kidding! The tragic events in Blacksburg on the Virginia Tech University campus rocked the United States yesterday morning. As one who was in college when Columbine happened (I think it was Griff, Jimmy Dean and I at the Citadel Mall getting ready to head up to Park Meadows when we saw it on the news) and having several friends not only in college but living on campus it hits home. I feel for the families but I feel most for the students. No one should ever have to go through that, especially in a place of learning where you figure people would know better. I don’t really pray to a deity, but may whoever you believe in give you strength to make it through this.
Yes, I actually have feelings. It aint Dick Time 24/7. However, now IT IS Dick Time. Where in the FUCK does the world get off criticizing us? I may not be the biggest flag waving, gun-toting, beer drinking NASCAR loving patriot (I believe that America isn’t the BEST country, but it sure is in the Top 5) but I will stand up for what is right against what is damn stupid. For any country to get all on their high horse about our gun laws and our violence needs to realize one thing: no matter what the culture violence exists. PERIOD. The Australian Prime Minister John Howard can suck my fucking balls. You have the AUDACITY to take shots at our ‘gun culture?’ Wasn’t Australia colonized by fucking criminals? Don’t your people oppress aborigines? Get off your high horse, fucker. I will be the first to admit that guns cause a huge problem in the United States but at the end of the day we DO have gun laws. Very stringent gun laws. The problem is the people.
People are fucktards. Plain and simple. Guns don’t fire themselves, except in video games and even then they are easily tackled because they fire in a pattern. The simple fact is that we can take away every single gun in this country and people would just find other ways to inflict harm. You think violence started in 1999 at Columbine? You think violence started with Killeen, Texas? You think violence started in a clock tower at Kent State? No, violence has always been. Guns or not. DO guns make violence easier? Yes, much like the internet has made piracy easier. People will find a way to accomplish what they want. To blame this SOLELY on guns is petty and downright asinine.
Now everyone knows I am (borderline) for the ‘Right to Bear Arms.’ I mean, vests are the new black. Joking aside, until they change the Amendments (you know what that means, right?) I am all for that as a right. However, with great power comes great responsibility. I know I run with that phrase a lot, but it holds true in everything we do. You have the power to hold a gun, but you have the responsibility to make sure that yourself and others are safe with you having it. Not every chucklehead should have a weapon. There are background checks, classes and other prerequisites before you can LEGALLY handle a firearm. No one knows where the shooter at Virginia Tech got his firearm but if it was legally aquired and he went through all the necessary steps to be able to LEGALLY hold a firearm then you know what? That motherfucker was a motherfucker. Had he not had access to a firearm, odds are he would have done the exact same thing with something else. You can’t fix stupid, even if you take away all the guns and other weapons on the planet. The stupid are resourceful, they would probably start killing people with M&M’s.
As my theories are always proven correct, I said before that America loves to cast blame. Boy has blame come out of the woodwork. Jack Thompson is blaming video games, which comes as no surprise. Once again, stupid is unavoidable. I played God of War II for two weeks straight and not once did I decide to jump off a building, stab someone in the back of the head, twist their neck and impale them on a 10 foot mace. Although…that would have been SWEET. Then we had the Liberals and the rest of the world blaming guns and American gun culture. Well, movies everywhere glorify violence. You think anime doesn’t glorify violence? It sure as hell does. But you don’t see me attempting to unleash my Bankai (Which is totally bad ass. I summon a dragon that spits fire and sings Journey songs) or trying to morph. You think India doesn’t have violence or intolerance? One word: Pakistan. Fix that, quit trying to blow up a neighbor no one gives a shit about and then we will talk. Pretty brash talk coming from a country that is burning Richard Gere in effigy because of a little P.D.A. America doesn’t even give a fuck about the former The Gerbil King and India wants him dead. Congrats, you made it to 1989. Oh, and don’t think we forgot about your nuclear testing. A peace-loving country that was going to launch a nuclear warhead at the country RIGHT NEXT TO IT? Yeah….YOU have a right to talk. Americans may be douchebags, but we are CONSISTANT douchebags.
Now we have the Conservative Hard-On-For-Jesus crowd that is blaming the lack of religion in schools for this problem. Listen you dickholes, if Jesus couldn’t stop nails, there is NO WAY HE CAN STOP BULLETS. Nuff’ said. I am sick of people saying this is a Christian nation and bringing God in will solve all of our problems. You know what place was a religious State? Iraq. You want to end up like Iraq? If this was a Christian nation it would be just like Iraq with Billy Graham for Saddam Hussien and John Michael Montgomery playing ALL THE FUCKING TIME. I’d rather be a damn Marxist and you know how I feel about him. Besides, more people die in the name of God than any other person. Maybe in the name of Harrison Ford. He totally kicks ass.
Back to the events in Blacksburg. At the end of the day, we can blame no one but the shooter. By picking a scapegoat (guns, culture, no God in schools, rap music) you might as well blame the students and teachers for not running fast enough. It isn’t fair and it is tasteless. Unless there is a definite link (Like he says on a video tape ‘This is for CJ in GTA! One love!’), to try to ban something isn’t going to help the situation. We say the shooter is at fault. We come to grips with the how, learn from the why and mourn for the when. Life is life; all we can do is live it.
Yeah, sometimes I do the somber rants like this. It was a somber moment, even I have a heart. Back to the Chachi! I may be back before the Countdown, odds are not because I have a busy Thursday and Friday. I will try to be back up Sunday if I am not up this week. Until then, stay up peeps.
And Big Ups To Blacksburg:
Chachi Out.
I usually do some commentary on Tuesday and we all know what happened yesterday. New J.R.R. Tolkien book! Just kidding! The tragic events in Blacksburg on the Virginia Tech University campus rocked the United States yesterday morning. As one who was in college when Columbine happened (I think it was Griff, Jimmy Dean and I at the Citadel Mall getting ready to head up to Park Meadows when we saw it on the news) and having several friends not only in college but living on campus it hits home. I feel for the families but I feel most for the students. No one should ever have to go through that, especially in a place of learning where you figure people would know better. I don’t really pray to a deity, but may whoever you believe in give you strength to make it through this.
Yes, I actually have feelings. It aint Dick Time 24/7. However, now IT IS Dick Time. Where in the FUCK does the world get off criticizing us? I may not be the biggest flag waving, gun-toting, beer drinking NASCAR loving patriot (I believe that America isn’t the BEST country, but it sure is in the Top 5) but I will stand up for what is right against what is damn stupid. For any country to get all on their high horse about our gun laws and our violence needs to realize one thing: no matter what the culture violence exists. PERIOD. The Australian Prime Minister John Howard can suck my fucking balls. You have the AUDACITY to take shots at our ‘gun culture?’ Wasn’t Australia colonized by fucking criminals? Don’t your people oppress aborigines? Get off your high horse, fucker. I will be the first to admit that guns cause a huge problem in the United States but at the end of the day we DO have gun laws. Very stringent gun laws. The problem is the people.
People are fucktards. Plain and simple. Guns don’t fire themselves, except in video games and even then they are easily tackled because they fire in a pattern. The simple fact is that we can take away every single gun in this country and people would just find other ways to inflict harm. You think violence started in 1999 at Columbine? You think violence started with Killeen, Texas? You think violence started in a clock tower at Kent State? No, violence has always been. Guns or not. DO guns make violence easier? Yes, much like the internet has made piracy easier. People will find a way to accomplish what they want. To blame this SOLELY on guns is petty and downright asinine.
Now everyone knows I am (borderline) for the ‘Right to Bear Arms.’ I mean, vests are the new black. Joking aside, until they change the Amendments (you know what that means, right?) I am all for that as a right. However, with great power comes great responsibility. I know I run with that phrase a lot, but it holds true in everything we do. You have the power to hold a gun, but you have the responsibility to make sure that yourself and others are safe with you having it. Not every chucklehead should have a weapon. There are background checks, classes and other prerequisites before you can LEGALLY handle a firearm. No one knows where the shooter at Virginia Tech got his firearm but if it was legally aquired and he went through all the necessary steps to be able to LEGALLY hold a firearm then you know what? That motherfucker was a motherfucker. Had he not had access to a firearm, odds are he would have done the exact same thing with something else. You can’t fix stupid, even if you take away all the guns and other weapons on the planet. The stupid are resourceful, they would probably start killing people with M&M’s.
As my theories are always proven correct, I said before that America loves to cast blame. Boy has blame come out of the woodwork. Jack Thompson is blaming video games, which comes as no surprise. Once again, stupid is unavoidable. I played God of War II for two weeks straight and not once did I decide to jump off a building, stab someone in the back of the head, twist their neck and impale them on a 10 foot mace. Although…that would have been SWEET. Then we had the Liberals and the rest of the world blaming guns and American gun culture. Well, movies everywhere glorify violence. You think anime doesn’t glorify violence? It sure as hell does. But you don’t see me attempting to unleash my Bankai (Which is totally bad ass. I summon a dragon that spits fire and sings Journey songs) or trying to morph. You think India doesn’t have violence or intolerance? One word: Pakistan. Fix that, quit trying to blow up a neighbor no one gives a shit about and then we will talk. Pretty brash talk coming from a country that is burning Richard Gere in effigy because of a little P.D.A. America doesn’t even give a fuck about the former The Gerbil King and India wants him dead. Congrats, you made it to 1989. Oh, and don’t think we forgot about your nuclear testing. A peace-loving country that was going to launch a nuclear warhead at the country RIGHT NEXT TO IT? Yeah….YOU have a right to talk. Americans may be douchebags, but we are CONSISTANT douchebags.
Now we have the Conservative Hard-On-For-Jesus crowd that is blaming the lack of religion in schools for this problem. Listen you dickholes, if Jesus couldn’t stop nails, there is NO WAY HE CAN STOP BULLETS. Nuff’ said. I am sick of people saying this is a Christian nation and bringing God in will solve all of our problems. You know what place was a religious State? Iraq. You want to end up like Iraq? If this was a Christian nation it would be just like Iraq with Billy Graham for Saddam Hussien and John Michael Montgomery playing ALL THE FUCKING TIME. I’d rather be a damn Marxist and you know how I feel about him. Besides, more people die in the name of God than any other person. Maybe in the name of Harrison Ford. He totally kicks ass.
Back to the events in Blacksburg. At the end of the day, we can blame no one but the shooter. By picking a scapegoat (guns, culture, no God in schools, rap music) you might as well blame the students and teachers for not running fast enough. It isn’t fair and it is tasteless. Unless there is a definite link (Like he says on a video tape ‘This is for CJ in GTA! One love!’), to try to ban something isn’t going to help the situation. We say the shooter is at fault. We come to grips with the how, learn from the why and mourn for the when. Life is life; all we can do is live it.
Yeah, sometimes I do the somber rants like this. It was a somber moment, even I have a heart. Back to the Chachi! I may be back before the Countdown, odds are not because I have a busy Thursday and Friday. I will try to be back up Sunday if I am not up this week. Until then, stay up peeps.
And Big Ups To Blacksburg:
Chachi Out.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
I Don't Remember....ANY Of This.
What is up! It has been a pretty kickass Sunday weather-wise here in the CSP. I hope you r-tards enjoyed it! I kid, I kid. So this weekend gave the world the most pivotal movie since The Wizard. This Sunday, I give you a special edition of:
MASTER CHIEF CAPTAIN CHACHI GOES HOLLYWOOD!
AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE COLON MOVIE FILM FOR THEATERS
After three push backs of the release, ATHFCMFFT came out on Friday. First off, I hate ‘bros’. More on that shit later. Second off, as Zach and I entered the theater for a movie that we knew would totally rock our faces, we realized something. The theater was damn near empty. Which is BULLSHIT. I will never understand how people will buy tickets to ‘Grindhouse’ and ‘Norbit’ and they will say it’s enjoyable but when a movie like the Aqua Teens or Reno 911 comes out people “don’t get it”. If you “get” Grindhouse but don’t “get” the Aqua Teens then you need to be shot in the fucking face. Because it will save me from having to handle your retarded children because if there is one thing fucktards do, it is breed. Like rabbits, just ask the Catholics. ZING!
Anyway, back to the movie. The first 30 seconds of the movie had the true fans (and I knew who they were because when Zach went to give Greg his ticket, someone asked ‘what’s up with him’ and when I said “I think the doctor said he has cancer, Meatwad” he responded did he tell him that he didn’t? THAT is a true fan) rolling in the aisle. Like the drum playing nachos said ‘If you don’t get it, this movie is NOT FOR YOU!’ Those that didn’t laugh were in for a ROUGH evening.
Aqua Teen, much like Reno 911 stayed true to the show. I by doing so, it alienated a lot of people (which was evident by the walkouts by people during both times I saw it) but by staying true to the show, it actually made for a better experience. First off, this actually had a plot. Which is quite impressive seeing as how the nine minute episodes don’t have plots but they could fit one into a eighty-seven minute movie. Seriously, this had a beginning, a middle and a….well….it ended. The movie covered everything from the origin of the Aqua Teens to a wanton, bloody death of a kitten. Nothing to do with plot development, but shooting kittens out of a plasma cannon is pretty fucking sweet.
It is surprising how much funnier a movie about a show that curses a lot is when it is unedited. The South Park movie was unedited and despite the awesomeness of it, the movie lost some of its luster that the show brought by being unedited. Not ATHF. When Carl screams ‘WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MY DOOR?’ and they attempt to bleep out ‘fuck’ but miss, that was priceless. Surprisingly, the cursing was kept to a minimum and most of what was awesome was the dialog. Master Shake was in rare form especially his telling of the origin that included a voodoo witch doctor Abraham Lincoln, slavery video games and a fire breathing poodle. All in the first three minutes.
Where the movie really shines is the animation. The five new backgrounds just SCREAMED avant-garde and rivaled the great Pixar films in its quality. You could almost see the salt on each of Frylock’s fry…locks. The Insanoflex was epic in scope and can only be appreciated in its full 3-D glory. And the movie wasn’t even in 3-D! That is completely bad ass! Not only was the animation awesome, the plot was…a plot. Seeing as I believe the creators have UADD (Uber-Attention Deficit Disorder) I was surprised how well the plot flowed for 84 of the 87 minutes. The last three minutes, in true form of the Aqua Teens made you question everything you ever believe in. It was that monumental and mind-blowing.
In all seriousness, this is a movie that based on its own merit will be funny to the casual movie-goer but will not be as HILARIOUS as it will be to the fans of the show. To the non-fans: you are ‘teh suck’ because this movie rules you! It totally kicks ass! And the soundtrack is awesome (especially the powerful rendition of “Nude Love” and the body-rockin “I Like Your Booty, But I’m Not Gay”) and well worth the listen if you are down for having your ears bleed in total kick-assitude. Overall, this movie is frickin bad ass and if you don’t watch this movie, you are a nerd. AND NERDS GET SPANKED WITH MOON ROCKS!! Seriously, go see it. So overall, ATHFCMFFT gets…
10 out of 10!!
)You don’t need no instructions, to know how to laugh! Go see it now or I will bite your torso and give you a disease!!)
Now that I have gotten that out of the way, there is a major problem today. It was covered in Newsline and I know you have seen them You know who they are, and odds are you humor them rather than help them. You may ignore then and say it isn’t you problem. But it IS your problem. It is all of our problems. That problem is ‘bros’.
Now I know you think you are cool. You think you are all ‘down’ because you are all about the Jack Johnson and the DMB but the simple fact is you suck. You suck it hard and dry and you need to fucking die. Now don’t get me wrong, I have known my share of bros. When I was in college, Evan was a bro but he was cool. He had the slippers and the polos and he even called me ‘bro (which I despised) but I never feared once he was ever going to rape me. Mainly because he didn’t associate with the ‘Super-Bros’ and hated them more than I do. It’s like people who dress gothic compared to the popular ‘Goth’ lifestyle. Chase said it best: ‘Dude, capes RULE’. That was enough for me.
The sad part about ‘bros’ is they live up to the lifestyle of being a bro. Not all thugs wear gaudy jewelry and baseball caps. Not all whores dress like whores. Not all Goths believe life is suffering and pain is love. However, all bros drink Nati Ice or some other cheap beer (yes, I see ANYTHING by Busch as being cheap beer). The all have the upside down visor and worship Dane Cook. They all play Frisbee golf (which is just fucking stupid) and they ALL listen to “The Johnson” which is the ULTIMATE innuendo EVER. Oh, and they are all closet gay. Seriously, I have seen it. When the women decide that they don’t want no ‘bro love’ the bros try to love…each other. At first its just playful wrestling and then after a few keg stands, some GameCube, a little beer pong and discussions on the differences between Phish and The Grateful Dead it turns into full on ass breaching. It’s how rape starts, I’ve seen “The Accused”.
What is even weirder is the embrace of gangsta rap by bros. Not only is The Johnson on the playlist but 50 Cent, Eminem and Dr. Dre (fuck…I don’t like where this is going) creep their way into the rotation, too. As mc chris sad, white kids LOVE hip hop. It is evident by my excursion to the Thirsty Parrot, or as I call it the ’Bro Hole.’ You can use that, I don’t mind. Bros (well, white people in general but especially bros) know all the words to rap songs and have to sing a long, the n-words and all. Which is SPECIAL because they ALWAYS look around to make sure no black people are around before they do it. It’s priceless.
The simple fact is that bros are making a resurgence (they were gone for a while from about 2005 to mid-2006) and it is good for no one. Pretty soon, there will be bro stores! Aside from Abercrombie and Fitch I mean. There will be bro specific movies (aside from ‘Harold and Kumar’ and ‘Fight Club’) and even bro drinks! They did it for Blacks with malt liquor and drunkard females with bottled mixed drinks/shots and pretty soon there will be ‘Bro Brew’ and ‘Johnson Juice’. God…this needs to stop. I need to break out the Dominator AND the Equalizer. I’m through playing around with ya’ll!
Well, I have gotten that out of my system. I will be back up this week at some point (probably Wednesday) and then the Countdown on Friday. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out.
MASTER CHIEF CAPTAIN CHACHI GOES HOLLYWOOD!
AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE COLON MOVIE FILM FOR THEATERS
After three push backs of the release, ATHFCMFFT came out on Friday. First off, I hate ‘bros’. More on that shit later. Second off, as Zach and I entered the theater for a movie that we knew would totally rock our faces, we realized something. The theater was damn near empty. Which is BULLSHIT. I will never understand how people will buy tickets to ‘Grindhouse’ and ‘Norbit’ and they will say it’s enjoyable but when a movie like the Aqua Teens or Reno 911 comes out people “don’t get it”. If you “get” Grindhouse but don’t “get” the Aqua Teens then you need to be shot in the fucking face. Because it will save me from having to handle your retarded children because if there is one thing fucktards do, it is breed. Like rabbits, just ask the Catholics. ZING!
Anyway, back to the movie. The first 30 seconds of the movie had the true fans (and I knew who they were because when Zach went to give Greg his ticket, someone asked ‘what’s up with him’ and when I said “I think the doctor said he has cancer, Meatwad” he responded did he tell him that he didn’t? THAT is a true fan) rolling in the aisle. Like the drum playing nachos said ‘If you don’t get it, this movie is NOT FOR YOU!’ Those that didn’t laugh were in for a ROUGH evening.
Aqua Teen, much like Reno 911 stayed true to the show. I by doing so, it alienated a lot of people (which was evident by the walkouts by people during both times I saw it) but by staying true to the show, it actually made for a better experience. First off, this actually had a plot. Which is quite impressive seeing as how the nine minute episodes don’t have plots but they could fit one into a eighty-seven minute movie. Seriously, this had a beginning, a middle and a….well….it ended. The movie covered everything from the origin of the Aqua Teens to a wanton, bloody death of a kitten. Nothing to do with plot development, but shooting kittens out of a plasma cannon is pretty fucking sweet.
It is surprising how much funnier a movie about a show that curses a lot is when it is unedited. The South Park movie was unedited and despite the awesomeness of it, the movie lost some of its luster that the show brought by being unedited. Not ATHF. When Carl screams ‘WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MY DOOR?’ and they attempt to bleep out ‘fuck’ but miss, that was priceless. Surprisingly, the cursing was kept to a minimum and most of what was awesome was the dialog. Master Shake was in rare form especially his telling of the origin that included a voodoo witch doctor Abraham Lincoln, slavery video games and a fire breathing poodle. All in the first three minutes.
Where the movie really shines is the animation. The five new backgrounds just SCREAMED avant-garde and rivaled the great Pixar films in its quality. You could almost see the salt on each of Frylock’s fry…locks. The Insanoflex was epic in scope and can only be appreciated in its full 3-D glory. And the movie wasn’t even in 3-D! That is completely bad ass! Not only was the animation awesome, the plot was…a plot. Seeing as I believe the creators have UADD (Uber-Attention Deficit Disorder) I was surprised how well the plot flowed for 84 of the 87 minutes. The last three minutes, in true form of the Aqua Teens made you question everything you ever believe in. It was that monumental and mind-blowing.
In all seriousness, this is a movie that based on its own merit will be funny to the casual movie-goer but will not be as HILARIOUS as it will be to the fans of the show. To the non-fans: you are ‘teh suck’ because this movie rules you! It totally kicks ass! And the soundtrack is awesome (especially the powerful rendition of “Nude Love” and the body-rockin “I Like Your Booty, But I’m Not Gay”) and well worth the listen if you are down for having your ears bleed in total kick-assitude. Overall, this movie is frickin bad ass and if you don’t watch this movie, you are a nerd. AND NERDS GET SPANKED WITH MOON ROCKS!! Seriously, go see it. So overall, ATHFCMFFT gets…
10 out of 10!!
)You don’t need no instructions, to know how to laugh! Go see it now or I will bite your torso and give you a disease!!)
Now that I have gotten that out of the way, there is a major problem today. It was covered in Newsline and I know you have seen them You know who they are, and odds are you humor them rather than help them. You may ignore then and say it isn’t you problem. But it IS your problem. It is all of our problems. That problem is ‘bros’.
Now I know you think you are cool. You think you are all ‘down’ because you are all about the Jack Johnson and the DMB but the simple fact is you suck. You suck it hard and dry and you need to fucking die. Now don’t get me wrong, I have known my share of bros. When I was in college, Evan was a bro but he was cool. He had the slippers and the polos and he even called me ‘bro (which I despised) but I never feared once he was ever going to rape me. Mainly because he didn’t associate with the ‘Super-Bros’ and hated them more than I do. It’s like people who dress gothic compared to the popular ‘Goth’ lifestyle. Chase said it best: ‘Dude, capes RULE’. That was enough for me.
The sad part about ‘bros’ is they live up to the lifestyle of being a bro. Not all thugs wear gaudy jewelry and baseball caps. Not all whores dress like whores. Not all Goths believe life is suffering and pain is love. However, all bros drink Nati Ice or some other cheap beer (yes, I see ANYTHING by Busch as being cheap beer). The all have the upside down visor and worship Dane Cook. They all play Frisbee golf (which is just fucking stupid) and they ALL listen to “The Johnson” which is the ULTIMATE innuendo EVER. Oh, and they are all closet gay. Seriously, I have seen it. When the women decide that they don’t want no ‘bro love’ the bros try to love…each other. At first its just playful wrestling and then after a few keg stands, some GameCube, a little beer pong and discussions on the differences between Phish and The Grateful Dead it turns into full on ass breaching. It’s how rape starts, I’ve seen “The Accused”.
What is even weirder is the embrace of gangsta rap by bros. Not only is The Johnson on the playlist but 50 Cent, Eminem and Dr. Dre (fuck…I don’t like where this is going) creep their way into the rotation, too. As mc chris sad, white kids LOVE hip hop. It is evident by my excursion to the Thirsty Parrot, or as I call it the ’Bro Hole.’ You can use that, I don’t mind. Bros (well, white people in general but especially bros) know all the words to rap songs and have to sing a long, the n-words and all. Which is SPECIAL because they ALWAYS look around to make sure no black people are around before they do it. It’s priceless.
The simple fact is that bros are making a resurgence (they were gone for a while from about 2005 to mid-2006) and it is good for no one. Pretty soon, there will be bro stores! Aside from Abercrombie and Fitch I mean. There will be bro specific movies (aside from ‘Harold and Kumar’ and ‘Fight Club’) and even bro drinks! They did it for Blacks with malt liquor and drunkard females with bottled mixed drinks/shots and pretty soon there will be ‘Bro Brew’ and ‘Johnson Juice’. God…this needs to stop. I need to break out the Dominator AND the Equalizer. I’m through playing around with ya’ll!
Well, I have gotten that out of my system. I will be back up this week at some point (probably Wednesday) and then the Countdown on Friday. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out.
Friday, April 13, 2007
MySpace: Where Friends Meet To Give You Fucking Spam.
Good morning everybody! It is a COLD ASS FRIDAY here in the CSP and I must say….it aint so bad. Because the Aqua Teens are gonna make the fellas say ‘ho’ and the ladies wanna scream! Got my tickets and it is time to throw down! Man, this movie better be good with as many times as they have pushed this bad boy back.
So I have a bone to pick with MySpace. Now I really only have MySpace up to supplement my Blogger site (which gets a lot more traffic), piss off Rick with American Idol updates because I know how much he LOVES that show and of course fill out surveys because I am ‘teh lame’. With all that being said, I am having a real big problem with MySpace right now.
When Yahoo became the largest provider of email accounts (I think it was 2003) what was the first thing they did? They beefed up their servers and security. They knew they were going to get a lot more subscribers and there is nothing people hate more than spam. Google is constantly updating their hardware and software for better ways to block out emails for erectile dysfunction and reconsolidated home loans. If I want to reconsolidate my home loan, I will fucking find YOU. Same with AOL, and as a service provider to boot although most of the spam comes from THEM, the probably have the most efficient spam blocker out there. So with that being said, I have a number for you:
108. One hundred and eight.
That is how many friend requests I have gotten this week. At first I was like ‘Holy shit, I’m popular!’ Then I realized that no one wants to be my friend and I looked and said “Hey, I don’t know ‘Get A Free iPod!’ or ‘Check Out My Hot Web Cam!’ at all!” Let’s face it, ‘xxxCutiepie69’ and ‘gimmeanipod1’ are not real people. They are fucking bots. If you don’t know what a ‘bot’ is, it is a fake account that is used for the purpose of annoying the shit out of you. They are why Ticketmaster and forums have that ‘insert the code’ screen so someone actually has to create the account rather than just running a script that can just create hundreds of fake accounts. It is obvious that MySpace either hasn’t figured that out or that Tom is no better at being the administrator as The Dougler was at being the RA on ‘Undergrads’.
I can forgive the fact that every five minutes an ‘unexpected error’ is reported to some fucktard that fixes it only to have another ‘unexpected error’ pop up. I cannot accept total and complete ineptitude. The fix has been done by other online communities (with fewer members and less safeguards i.e. Friendster) and I see no reason why you guys cant put two and two together. I know that it’s easy to say ‘well don’t use MySpace’ but lets face it. That is shitty customer service. Yes, we are your customers because creating your community gets you sponsorships from movies, TV shows and sponsors. If you DON’T fix if, people will go to another online community. See what happened to AOL? They refused to embrace broadband and fell behind the curve. You aren’t Microsoft; you don’t have a lockdown on this market. It is a simple fix that would actually create a better service and alleviate a lot of tech support problems I am sure you are getting due to these fucksticks locking up your servers with their crap. As Teq would say ‘FIX IT!’ It would make things a lot easier on yourselves and your users. Just a thought.
That had been bugging me for a while. I know the Blogger peeps don’t know what I am talking about (odds are you use MySpace, though) but I have to be all encompassing. The Passion of Chachi is for the people. All the people no matter what race, gender, religion or online community they use. Except Facebook.
Before I go, it is time for my blatant Bleach plug! Here is the NEW BADASS OPENING THEME, Alones by Aqua Timez:
In my total nerddom, I was having a discussion with the comic book store guys (yes, I am friends with the comic book store guys. Shut up, they’re cool!) about Bleach on Wednesday and pretty much killed my lunch hour talking about the current Bleach manga and the Hueco Mundo Arc. I also got a sweet ass wall scroll with Ichigo, Rukia, Chad, Orihime, Ishida and THE KON. And I got the angry Kon plushie! It won’t bring the girls to the yard, but it is cool to me and that’s what matters.
Anyway, after discussing the new arc at the comic book store and hearing the lyrics of the song, it fits so well. More so than the other openings (aside from D-Technolife and the first half of the Soul Society Arc) considering what happens and the emotions that come to the forefront (I won’t ruin, but lets just say that Orihime becomes a lot stronger in herself and her feelings) this is the best song to choose. The lyrics fit:
Even if you won’t talk about yesterday,
I’ll still be there to meet you tomorrow.
This one will make sense as the arc goes on. It is going to be good stuff. Well, I will try to be back tomorrow for a review of ATHFCMFFT. Stay warm and stay up, peeps. One last thing from Aqua Timez…
You don’t have to force your smiles for anyone,
It’s okay to smile…for yourself.
Chachi Out.
So I have a bone to pick with MySpace. Now I really only have MySpace up to supplement my Blogger site (which gets a lot more traffic), piss off Rick with American Idol updates because I know how much he LOVES that show and of course fill out surveys because I am ‘teh lame’. With all that being said, I am having a real big problem with MySpace right now.
When Yahoo became the largest provider of email accounts (I think it was 2003) what was the first thing they did? They beefed up their servers and security. They knew they were going to get a lot more subscribers and there is nothing people hate more than spam. Google is constantly updating their hardware and software for better ways to block out emails for erectile dysfunction and reconsolidated home loans. If I want to reconsolidate my home loan, I will fucking find YOU. Same with AOL, and as a service provider to boot although most of the spam comes from THEM, the probably have the most efficient spam blocker out there. So with that being said, I have a number for you:
108. One hundred and eight.
That is how many friend requests I have gotten this week. At first I was like ‘Holy shit, I’m popular!’ Then I realized that no one wants to be my friend and I looked and said “Hey, I don’t know ‘Get A Free iPod!’ or ‘Check Out My Hot Web Cam!’ at all!” Let’s face it, ‘xxxCutiepie69’ and ‘gimmeanipod1’ are not real people. They are fucking bots. If you don’t know what a ‘bot’ is, it is a fake account that is used for the purpose of annoying the shit out of you. They are why Ticketmaster and forums have that ‘insert the code’ screen so someone actually has to create the account rather than just running a script that can just create hundreds of fake accounts. It is obvious that MySpace either hasn’t figured that out or that Tom is no better at being the administrator as The Dougler was at being the RA on ‘Undergrads’.
I can forgive the fact that every five minutes an ‘unexpected error’ is reported to some fucktard that fixes it only to have another ‘unexpected error’ pop up. I cannot accept total and complete ineptitude. The fix has been done by other online communities (with fewer members and less safeguards i.e. Friendster) and I see no reason why you guys cant put two and two together. I know that it’s easy to say ‘well don’t use MySpace’ but lets face it. That is shitty customer service. Yes, we are your customers because creating your community gets you sponsorships from movies, TV shows and sponsors. If you DON’T fix if, people will go to another online community. See what happened to AOL? They refused to embrace broadband and fell behind the curve. You aren’t Microsoft; you don’t have a lockdown on this market. It is a simple fix that would actually create a better service and alleviate a lot of tech support problems I am sure you are getting due to these fucksticks locking up your servers with their crap. As Teq would say ‘FIX IT!’ It would make things a lot easier on yourselves and your users. Just a thought.
That had been bugging me for a while. I know the Blogger peeps don’t know what I am talking about (odds are you use MySpace, though) but I have to be all encompassing. The Passion of Chachi is for the people. All the people no matter what race, gender, religion or online community they use. Except Facebook.
Before I go, it is time for my blatant Bleach plug! Here is the NEW BADASS OPENING THEME, Alones by Aqua Timez:
In my total nerddom, I was having a discussion with the comic book store guys (yes, I am friends with the comic book store guys. Shut up, they’re cool!) about Bleach on Wednesday and pretty much killed my lunch hour talking about the current Bleach manga and the Hueco Mundo Arc. I also got a sweet ass wall scroll with Ichigo, Rukia, Chad, Orihime, Ishida and THE KON. And I got the angry Kon plushie! It won’t bring the girls to the yard, but it is cool to me and that’s what matters.
Anyway, after discussing the new arc at the comic book store and hearing the lyrics of the song, it fits so well. More so than the other openings (aside from D-Technolife and the first half of the Soul Society Arc) considering what happens and the emotions that come to the forefront (I won’t ruin, but lets just say that Orihime becomes a lot stronger in herself and her feelings) this is the best song to choose. The lyrics fit:
Even if you won’t talk about yesterday,
I’ll still be there to meet you tomorrow.
This one will make sense as the arc goes on. It is going to be good stuff. Well, I will try to be back tomorrow for a review of ATHFCMFFT. Stay warm and stay up, peeps. One last thing from Aqua Timez…
You don’t have to force your smiles for anyone,
It’s okay to smile…for yourself.
Chachi Out.
So...K-Fed Isn't Anna Nicole's Babydaddy? I'm Out of $5...
What’s up ya’ll! It’s a COLD ASS FRIDAY in the CSP but that’s okay! Because Aqua Teen is gonna rock my face tonight and it is time for the….
Chachi Top 20 Video Countdown!!
It is kind of chilly so I am going to get straight to the party!
20. Maroon 5 – Makes Me Wonder (New Entry)
We begin this week with an interesting debut. Now it is no secret that I have a love/hate relationship with Maroon 5. I loved ‘Sunday Morning’ and ‘Harder To Breathe’ but hated….everything else. This video reminds me of a cleaned up Duran Duran video, and we all know Duran Duran RULES YOUR FACE. This is their first video on here, lets see how they do!
19. Evanescence – Lithium (Last Week #15)
Evanesence officially has a new video out for Sweet Sacrifice and it actually kicks more ass that Lithium! Meanwhile, this video looks to be on its way out after peaking a few weeks back at number two. Here is to seeing Sweet Sacrifice soon!
18. nobodyknows+ - Hero’s Come Back! (New Entry)
No you knew as soon as this song had a video it was going to be on this Countdown. The opening for Naruto: Shippuuden makes its debut after a long wait! This song is now the ring tone for Nolan and was the theme on my MySpace for a minute. I just got the nobodyknows+ discography and it is good stuff. Not only that, the video is actually kind of cool to boot. Everybody stand up!
17. Namie Amuro – Baby Don’t Cry (Last Week #14, #1 for three weeks)
Aw, man I’m crying! This video looks to be on its way out after a lengthy stay at number one last month. Even though she has a new video I still really dig this one. The song is quite nice too.
16. Namie Amuro – Funky Town (Last Week #18)
Speaking of Namie, here she is again! This video in song is nowhere near as awesome as Baby Don’t Cry but it is good on its own level. Like Namie in a skirt with boots on. Hells yeah. Although I am not digging the small hat thing going on. Reminds me of Men on Film on ‘In Living Color’. Hated it!
15. Rascal Flats – Stand (Last Week #19)
So The Gang makes a pretty big leap this week, up four spots to #15. I really cant say I like country (because for the most part I don’t) but unlike other people I cant hate a whole genre because the majority of it I don’t like. I like the Flatts as well as The Wreckers. Let’s just hope we don’t hear this song in commercials for Huggies or Bayer. That would piss me off.
14. Hinoi Team – Dancin’ and Dreamin’ (Last Week #9, Plunge of the Week)
I am sad. Hinoi Team falls out of the Top Ten this week! I still like this video, but it is about time for something new from my favorite Para Para-ing teens. Is that even a word? Eh, it is now.
13. Kumi Koda – Get Up & Move! (Last Week #16)
Kumi Koda has got up and moved up this week. She has no less than four videos out (thanks to Roxanne for posting the majority of them!) but this is my favorite of the bunch. What can I say, I am a sucker for a dancing Kumi Koda.
12. Monkey Majik feat m-flo – Picture Perfect (Last Week #12)
Okay, I think the video with Monkey Majik featuring Seamo has grown on me a little too much because now I like it a little more than this one. The guys and M-Flo stand pat at #12 for the second week and may have stalled out on the play list. Still is my jam on the road, though!
11. K-OS – Sunday Morning (Last Week #13)
One step away from the Top Ten and K-OS makes his home here! Pretty good for a first time out, I must say. I finally got a good copy of this video, too. It is good stuff. Also, got his older stuff that I had from back in the day. The guy is one of the better hip-hop artists out right now. Well, anything is better than Akon so he doesn’t have to do much. Well, onto the Top 10!
10. Home Made Kazoku – Nagaraboshi ~Shooting Star~ (Last Week #8)
Okay, this is the ‘Seamo Is Growing On Me Part II’ factor. Anyone that knows me knows that Seamo has been on my shitlist since he yelled out ‘CRUNK!’ in the Bennie K song ‘A Love Story’. Well, it has come full circle. Seamo is in the new HMK video for ‘Fantastic 3’ and I must say…it is fantastic. Seamo and Co. rock the box and the video may be on here soon. Because of that, this video falls two spots.
9. Yuna Ito – I’m Here (Last Week #11)
Mmm…Yuna Ito. She makes life okay to live, I tell you what. Still getting episodes of Unfair so I can do a review on whether it is worth the watch. This video is I can say that much for sure.
8. Game feat. Kanye West – Wouldn’t Get Far (Last Week #5)
Well, The Game falls three spots this week and will odds are not be able to take the #1 spot on his third attempt. It’s a shame because this video is actually alright but I would prefer something new now. Especially since he seems to think that beefing with Fiddy is okay now. Here is a famous line: Fuck Fiddy. Who said it? The Chachi.
7. Three Days Grace – Never Too Late (Last Week #10)
TDG moves up three more places this week! This song is a tad bit too sad sometimes but the video is very bad ass. Also its nice to see some rock in the rotation to break things up a bit.
6. Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend (Last Week #7)
Yes, Avril Lavinge is a stones throw away from the Top Five. I LIKE this song and this video is hot. I always thought she had a hot Sarah Michelle Gellar thing going on (I really get freaked out by her nose…just creepy) and as she has gotten older it has gotten better. Oh, and she does ‘The Clock’ too. I so made that up in 2001 at Graham Central Station! Ask Griff! Eh, we have made it into the Top 5…
5. UVERworld – Zero no Kotae (Last Week #6)
Well look who’s back? UVERworld makes their FOURTH Top Five appearance as they attempt to get their fourth Number One video! Another video that is brilliant in its simplicity, UVERworld never really does the ‘epic video’ thing. Just them rocking out. I must say, it works.
4. Bennie K – 1001 Nights (Last Week #2)
Uh oh. Looks like Yuki and Cico need a new video FAST. After making it to the runner up spot, Bennie K is beginning a slow fall two spots and out of the Top Three. I swear if anyone needs a new album aside from Common and the Spin Doctors, it is Bennie K. Gimme my fix! Now, for the three biggest videos in the land!
3. Yui – CHE.R.RY (Last Week #4)
Hells yes. So time for the mandatory Bleach update. IT IS KICKING ASS! Ichigo just got his ass WHOOPED ON by Grimmjaw! Hitsugaya once again proved he is a bad ass 8th grader! Aqua Timez proves once again that they sound like Orange Range with one lead singer! Oh, and Kon should start his own band. I call roadie! Oh, and Yui moves into the Top Three once again. Oh man. Once again it is a showdown between John Legend and Chris Daughtry. Who wins?
2. Daughtry – It’s Not Over (Last Week #3, two weeks at #1)
Daughtry pulls an UVERworld and moves back to the runner-up position after dropping the crown! He is looking to grab #1 again, I bet! Oh, in an American Idol update (since Rick don’t like the bulletins on MySpace, which I better respect if I ever want my pants back) it looks like America sent Haley home. Yes, she was all vamped up but she sang better than Blake (who I WANT TO DIE) and Phil (who just picked a song that wasn’t right for him. ‘Escape’ by Enrique Iglasias would have been bad ass) and even Sanjaya who avoided me mailing the mountain lion I reserved for Omarion and Bi. Well, we all know democracy doesn’t work so I’m cool with it. Here is to Blake finally getting the FUCKING BOOT. Well, off to Number One…
1. John Legend – PDA (We Just Don’t Care) (Last Week #1, three weeks at #1)
…and the Champ is still here! Fuck John Cena. John Legend spends his third straight week at the top! I will admit, at first I didn’t like this video (seemed kind of boring) but after some watches it really fits the song, more so than the last two (Save Room & Heaven). Have to say, it is my favorite right now.
Well, once again that is all for this week! Tune in next Friday to see if John Legend can become the longest regining #1 of 2007 and hold on for a full month! Or will Daughtry take the throne for a second time? Can Yui put a second straight video at Number One? Check back in one week to find out! Stay up, peeps!
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters is out tonight! Barring a shutdown of the theater I will so be there! It will kick more ass than Bryan Adams at The Meadowlands in 85! Unless shit hits the fan, I will have a review on Friday...the 13th? Oh shit, I totally missed that fact. Anyway...
Chachi Out.
Chachi Top 20 Video Countdown!!
It is kind of chilly so I am going to get straight to the party!
20. Maroon 5 – Makes Me Wonder (New Entry)
We begin this week with an interesting debut. Now it is no secret that I have a love/hate relationship with Maroon 5. I loved ‘Sunday Morning’ and ‘Harder To Breathe’ but hated….everything else. This video reminds me of a cleaned up Duran Duran video, and we all know Duran Duran RULES YOUR FACE. This is their first video on here, lets see how they do!
19. Evanescence – Lithium (Last Week #15)
Evanesence officially has a new video out for Sweet Sacrifice and it actually kicks more ass that Lithium! Meanwhile, this video looks to be on its way out after peaking a few weeks back at number two. Here is to seeing Sweet Sacrifice soon!
18. nobodyknows+ - Hero’s Come Back! (New Entry)
No you knew as soon as this song had a video it was going to be on this Countdown. The opening for Naruto: Shippuuden makes its debut after a long wait! This song is now the ring tone for Nolan and was the theme on my MySpace for a minute. I just got the nobodyknows+ discography and it is good stuff. Not only that, the video is actually kind of cool to boot. Everybody stand up!
17. Namie Amuro – Baby Don’t Cry (Last Week #14, #1 for three weeks)
Aw, man I’m crying! This video looks to be on its way out after a lengthy stay at number one last month. Even though she has a new video I still really dig this one. The song is quite nice too.
16. Namie Amuro – Funky Town (Last Week #18)
Speaking of Namie, here she is again! This video in song is nowhere near as awesome as Baby Don’t Cry but it is good on its own level. Like Namie in a skirt with boots on. Hells yeah. Although I am not digging the small hat thing going on. Reminds me of Men on Film on ‘In Living Color’. Hated it!
15. Rascal Flats – Stand (Last Week #19)
So The Gang makes a pretty big leap this week, up four spots to #15. I really cant say I like country (because for the most part I don’t) but unlike other people I cant hate a whole genre because the majority of it I don’t like. I like the Flatts as well as The Wreckers. Let’s just hope we don’t hear this song in commercials for Huggies or Bayer. That would piss me off.
14. Hinoi Team – Dancin’ and Dreamin’ (Last Week #9, Plunge of the Week)
I am sad. Hinoi Team falls out of the Top Ten this week! I still like this video, but it is about time for something new from my favorite Para Para-ing teens. Is that even a word? Eh, it is now.
13. Kumi Koda – Get Up & Move! (Last Week #16)
Kumi Koda has got up and moved up this week. She has no less than four videos out (thanks to Roxanne for posting the majority of them!) but this is my favorite of the bunch. What can I say, I am a sucker for a dancing Kumi Koda.
12. Monkey Majik feat m-flo – Picture Perfect (Last Week #12)
Okay, I think the video with Monkey Majik featuring Seamo has grown on me a little too much because now I like it a little more than this one. The guys and M-Flo stand pat at #12 for the second week and may have stalled out on the play list. Still is my jam on the road, though!
11. K-OS – Sunday Morning (Last Week #13)
One step away from the Top Ten and K-OS makes his home here! Pretty good for a first time out, I must say. I finally got a good copy of this video, too. It is good stuff. Also, got his older stuff that I had from back in the day. The guy is one of the better hip-hop artists out right now. Well, anything is better than Akon so he doesn’t have to do much. Well, onto the Top 10!
10. Home Made Kazoku – Nagaraboshi ~Shooting Star~ (Last Week #8)
Okay, this is the ‘Seamo Is Growing On Me Part II’ factor. Anyone that knows me knows that Seamo has been on my shitlist since he yelled out ‘CRUNK!’ in the Bennie K song ‘A Love Story’. Well, it has come full circle. Seamo is in the new HMK video for ‘Fantastic 3’ and I must say…it is fantastic. Seamo and Co. rock the box and the video may be on here soon. Because of that, this video falls two spots.
9. Yuna Ito – I’m Here (Last Week #11)
Mmm…Yuna Ito. She makes life okay to live, I tell you what. Still getting episodes of Unfair so I can do a review on whether it is worth the watch. This video is I can say that much for sure.
8. Game feat. Kanye West – Wouldn’t Get Far (Last Week #5)
Well, The Game falls three spots this week and will odds are not be able to take the #1 spot on his third attempt. It’s a shame because this video is actually alright but I would prefer something new now. Especially since he seems to think that beefing with Fiddy is okay now. Here is a famous line: Fuck Fiddy. Who said it? The Chachi.
7. Three Days Grace – Never Too Late (Last Week #10)
TDG moves up three more places this week! This song is a tad bit too sad sometimes but the video is very bad ass. Also its nice to see some rock in the rotation to break things up a bit.
6. Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend (Last Week #7)
Yes, Avril Lavinge is a stones throw away from the Top Five. I LIKE this song and this video is hot. I always thought she had a hot Sarah Michelle Gellar thing going on (I really get freaked out by her nose…just creepy) and as she has gotten older it has gotten better. Oh, and she does ‘The Clock’ too. I so made that up in 2001 at Graham Central Station! Ask Griff! Eh, we have made it into the Top 5…
5. UVERworld – Zero no Kotae (Last Week #6)
Well look who’s back? UVERworld makes their FOURTH Top Five appearance as they attempt to get their fourth Number One video! Another video that is brilliant in its simplicity, UVERworld never really does the ‘epic video’ thing. Just them rocking out. I must say, it works.
4. Bennie K – 1001 Nights (Last Week #2)
Uh oh. Looks like Yuki and Cico need a new video FAST. After making it to the runner up spot, Bennie K is beginning a slow fall two spots and out of the Top Three. I swear if anyone needs a new album aside from Common and the Spin Doctors, it is Bennie K. Gimme my fix! Now, for the three biggest videos in the land!
3. Yui – CHE.R.RY (Last Week #4)
Hells yes. So time for the mandatory Bleach update. IT IS KICKING ASS! Ichigo just got his ass WHOOPED ON by Grimmjaw! Hitsugaya once again proved he is a bad ass 8th grader! Aqua Timez proves once again that they sound like Orange Range with one lead singer! Oh, and Kon should start his own band. I call roadie! Oh, and Yui moves into the Top Three once again. Oh man. Once again it is a showdown between John Legend and Chris Daughtry. Who wins?
2. Daughtry – It’s Not Over (Last Week #3, two weeks at #1)
Daughtry pulls an UVERworld and moves back to the runner-up position after dropping the crown! He is looking to grab #1 again, I bet! Oh, in an American Idol update (since Rick don’t like the bulletins on MySpace, which I better respect if I ever want my pants back) it looks like America sent Haley home. Yes, she was all vamped up but she sang better than Blake (who I WANT TO DIE) and Phil (who just picked a song that wasn’t right for him. ‘Escape’ by Enrique Iglasias would have been bad ass) and even Sanjaya who avoided me mailing the mountain lion I reserved for Omarion and Bi. Well, we all know democracy doesn’t work so I’m cool with it. Here is to Blake finally getting the FUCKING BOOT. Well, off to Number One…
1. John Legend – PDA (We Just Don’t Care) (Last Week #1, three weeks at #1)
…and the Champ is still here! Fuck John Cena. John Legend spends his third straight week at the top! I will admit, at first I didn’t like this video (seemed kind of boring) but after some watches it really fits the song, more so than the last two (Save Room & Heaven). Have to say, it is my favorite right now.
Well, once again that is all for this week! Tune in next Friday to see if John Legend can become the longest regining #1 of 2007 and hold on for a full month! Or will Daughtry take the throne for a second time? Can Yui put a second straight video at Number One? Check back in one week to find out! Stay up, peeps!
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters is out tonight! Barring a shutdown of the theater I will so be there! It will kick more ass than Bryan Adams at The Meadowlands in 85! Unless shit hits the fan, I will have a review on Friday...the 13th? Oh shit, I totally missed that fact. Anyway...
Chachi Out.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Old White Guys Making Poor Jokes. It's CRAP-TASTIC!
Okay, it is SO time for a mini-rant. Now I actually typed this last week when I first heard this in about 10 minutes (I type fast when I am pissed). After calming down and listening to the commentary over the last week or so, I revisited and re-worked this rant to add more parts to it and redo some of my initial feelings about the situation.
First off let me say I sparingly watched Don Imus over my lifetime. I watched when I was unemployed (came on the same time as ‘Mike and Mike in the Mornings on ESPN Radio) and listened a little bit because a friend of mine listened to him and Howard Stern when I was at Denver Tech. So I am not an expert on him, but I knows funny. Now over the past year of having a blog I have said jokes about many things can be funny when timed right, albeit offensive:
Blacks
Whites
Rape (Come on! A little surprise sex never hurt anyone! Okay maybe it has…)
Irish
Jews (Oy vey! In their defense, they have the most BAD ASS jump out process EVER. Remember Jesus? Oh, snap! You don’t leave the Jews, the Jews leave you)
Muslims (Yeah, I put them right next to each other. They both need to shut the hell up and be friends)
Christians (At least Jews and Muslims don’t have ‘Christian Rock’. That alone makes you the shittiest religion; I don’t care how many of you there are. Leave the rock to Foreigner!)
Midgets
Asians (Except for Cambodians. AK-47’s for all!)
Homosexuals
Fat People
Indians (Red dot, feather and Pacer fans. Oh, Indiana isn’t the home of Indians? Well then why in the fuck did they call it that?!)
Skinny People
Special People
Ugly People (Yeah, I know I am one two. Its called self-depreciating humor)
Abuse (Physical & Verbal. Come on, you know Ike Turner is funny!)
Sex with pets (Except house pets. They are so small! Now lions and tigers? Funny as hell because if you get some of that you EARNED it)
Sex with minors (Peeing on…not so funny)
Southerners
Scientologists
Drug Addicts
Turks (IT IS CONSTANTINOPLE!!)
Catholics (Can I get a robble robble from Zach?!)
Atheists (Or Nihilists. Whichever, doesn’t matter. None of this matters)
Mel Gibson
Women (Who I am slowly beginning to soften my stance on. They smell and feel nice…)
Men/Masculinity (Shut up. Being a man isn’t farting, fighting and liking big tits. That just puts you two steps above a monkey. Wow….I just proved evolution)
Femininity
Alcoholics
Feminist (Get a grip. And that is not a sexual reference, that means literally get a grip on reality)
Necrophelia (Not really, I just tossed that in to see if you were reading)
Hindus (Seven arms and Vishnu STILL can’t throw a decent breaking slider. He will SO be in the minors until he gets a third go-to pitch)
Anorexics
Skips, Skops, Hustlers, Tramps, Ruffians, Ne’r Do Wells, Hooligans and Scallywags (I kind of just wanted to say ‘scallywags’)
…and um…I think that’s all I have covered. Wow, that’s why no one came to my birthday party. My dicketry knows no bounds. Even still, these things CAN be funny. They just AREN’T ALWAYS FUNNY. It can be the delivery. It can be the timing. Mainly, the issue is intent. Aside from Catholics, Turks and midgets most of the scathing remarks I make are in social commentary. I will say when I am saying something to be offensive. And if I don’t say, trust me you know. Those that don’t (and there were some people who didn’t. Wont name names but she’s a dumbass regardless) usually don’t get me or get IT, which is fine. Even still, I also watch my words and wont same something for the sake of being offensive or hurtful unless it is deserved. R.Kelly I am talking to you. However, I was completely pissed off by the Don Imus segment on the Rutgers women’s basketball team being ‘nappy headed hos’ and being compared to ‘jiggaboos’
By his co-host guy. Wow…where do I start?
First off, Don Imus isn’t funny. As one of the three people in America that watches MSNBC or CARES about it I had the unfortunate privilege of hearing about this almost as it happened. First off, this isn’t only a race issue. This isn’t only a woman issue. This isn’t even only a Black woman issue. This is an issue about image. Another part that gets avoid and glossed over is that they were comparing the Rutgers women (with I think 8 black players out of 12. Someone correct me if I am wrong) with the players from Tennessee, who were all for the most part either white, light-skinned or attractive. The Rutgers players were even compared to the TORONTO RAPTORS who have a damn near all Black roster and much like any other NBA team, has players that carries a look of those we see in rap videos. Sad but true. It isn’t the Tennessee players fault. I mean I likes me some Candace Parker. Hells yeah. But that doesn’t justify Don’s comments because there is more to what he said than what ESPN (who is LOVING this right now as the game was shown ON ESPN) shows.
I ranted about two months ago about beauty and people being shallow. This peeps is the ultimate in shallow. I will admit I bash the HELL out of the WNBA (mainly because it is boring to me) but I have always watched almost all college athletics, men’s and women’s. I watch women’s basketball every once in a while and shockingly I never really once looked at a team and said ‘Man, them girls look rough’. The fact Don Imus said that for ‘humor’ shows me some things about what he perceives his audience thinks is funny:
Female + Nappy heads + Tattoos (which I didn’t see on any) + Black = Ho’s
That math makes sense? Like fuck it does. Now Black women and I have had our problems. Many of them. At the same time, nothing that the Rutgers team did is in line with the definition of a ‘ho’ or whore if you will. Paris Hilton? Whore, and it is documented and she is taking Valtrex for it. Essence Carson and the Rutgers women’s basketball team? Unless they are turning tricks for tuition (which is unlikely because I am guessing they are scholarship athletes) then NO THEY ARE NOT HO’S. As for being nappy-headed, what the fuck does that have to do with anything about the game? Not a GOD DAMN THING. It is an unfair statement and it is racist, sexist and takes away from a great accomplishment by the Don Imus saying that not only did they lose, they are ugly and they give it up easily. Now I don’t honestly believe that Don Imus should be fired. Not for this, but for a long line of dumb ass, thoughtless and offensive shit said to shock people. It is long overdue and he really can’t be bringing in THAT MANY LISTENERS to justify keeping someone on the radio. At least Howard Stern has one funny joke a year. Sometimes two. The fact is that Black or White, you say something that stupid you should be held accountable.
However, something is confusing me. Why would people defend what Don Imus said? Now I will defend anyone right to say something at all times. He has the right to say anything he would like. He has the freedom of speech, but you also have the right of accountability. You can say whatever you like, but there will be an equal reaction. In this case, he shouldn’t be fired for what he said he should be fired for the reaction it got. You have the right to bear arms, but there are consequences for using it at the wrong time or illegally. You have the freedom to assemble, but you can be punished by the results or actions of or in that assembly. Uncle Ben said it, now I am saying it once-a-fucking-gain for those that don’t listen:
With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility
You have great power with words. Words can be more effective than any weapon known to man. Once again, with the usage of any weapon there are repercussions to using it incorrectly and at the wrong time. Don used the words incorrectly to unfairly and offensively refer to a group of women that were NONE OF THOSE WORDS and at the wrong time after the Mel Gibson, Isaiah Washington, Hillary Clinton and Michael Richards flaps over the last few months. Those combined should have him in the unemployment line. Like I said, I can’t say firing is the answer because it doesn’t take back what he said and it really doesn’t change the hurt of the words.
However, by not firing him MSNBC sends the message that it is okay to be an idiot as long as you are sorry. You know what? He isn’t sorry. He feels bad the people are upset at him. He feels bad because he tried to be funny and bombed. Hell, he feels bad that sponsorships are being lost because of his words. For a first time offense it’s cool but he has made off-color to downright offensive jokes (check out some of his comments about Jews. Now I am one to talk, but still I’m not on the radio) about everything I mentioned earlier. He is trying to get rating by being provocative and offensive which is fine but this is what happens when you say the wrong thing at the wrong time. I know you will say that ‘You say racist and offensive things all the time!’ To that I say first off EAT IT. Once again, I’m not nationally syndicated and broadcast by a major news company, although I’m not sure if you can call MSNBC major. Secondly, offensive jokes aren’t all that is in my arsenal. That is all Don Imus does; he is a shock jock and his job is to shock you. Congrats you did your job, Don. You shocked America in to realizing that racism and sexism, no matter WHO it comes from is STILL racism and sexism.
Oh, and one last thing. As Americans one thing we LOVE to do is point the finger at the victim or find someone else to blame. For those of you that justify his comments with “Black men call black women ho’s all the time in rap music!” just remember first off that 95% of rap sucks. Second off, white people sign these assholes and get the majority of the money from its profit so what is the point? It is still indirect racism at the end of the day seeing as how most of the music and dancing is about chains, whips and shucking/jiving. Third off, white men call white women slut and whore (because white people SAY THE WHOLE WORD JUST LIKE THIS. Ah, Boondocks) just as much (Frat boy movies anyone? Women in the American Pie and Van Wilder movies all had such pivotal roles. Oh, and lest we forget that the devil before rap was glam/cock rock) and as for the music…yeah, Eminem killing and raping his mom is SO not worse than calling a woman a ‘ho’ to rhyme with ‘flow’. God I hate rap.
Oh yeah, quit blaming Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson for the blowup of this situation. It is all the media’s fault anyway. First off, there are only two people that listen to Al and Jesse:
Old Ass Black People (Who seem to forget that it is 2007 and racism is still here but it aint the same. No need to march, niggas just need to read books and stop buying chains.)
Stupid Ass White People (Which seems to be ALL OF YOU! I mean you all know racism exists but if you aren’t part of the problem shut the fuck up!)
The fact is Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton can suck my black balls for all I care. Yes they were around when MLK Jr. got shot but you know, so the fuck what? I was watching TV when Biggie and 2Pac got shot but you don’t see me as the mouthpiece of the Black community. You know I would get us fixed up in three months. Then I would pull a Larry Brown and fix up the Asian community. God, please let someone get that joke. The fact is they talk because White people listen. I sure as hell aint and neither are the Black people I know. So White people need to just not listen to him. Ask some other Black people. Hell, ask Ja Rule for all I care but they get press time because the media GIVES THEM PRESS TIME. They are like the god damn Hulk, the more attention you give them the stronger they get just like The Hulk and anger! IGNORE THEM! Like Token said ‘Jesse Jackson isn’t the President of Black People!’ He and Al Sharpton ain’t even the Inspector Gadget and Penny of Black people! If they say you are racist for not listening to them, direct them to me. Seriously.
In closing Don Imus, as much of a fucktard as he is, didn’t owe Blacks an apology as much as he doesn’t owe women an apology. He owes an apology to those ladies that played their ass off against a kick-ass Tennessee team. The he should apologize to America for being unfunny to appeal to a demographic of intolerant people. I take myself to task everyday for the jokes I say and whether they hurt people. Is firing him for what he said about the basketball team the answer? No. Should he resign? Personally, I don’t think so.
WHAT?! After this long ass rant I say that he shouldn’t be fired and he shouldn’t resign?! No. Quite simply…comedy is hit or miss. We all have jokes that have bombed out in a major way. I honestly believe that a joke like that could never have been funny especially because he was directing the joke at undeserving players. I don’t believe Don Imus is funny. Never have, odds are never will. I believe in his right to say this and you know what? I even believe him when he says he isn’t a racist. A racist believes they are better than someone due to their race and I don’t believe he is better than those players. I do believe that he made a offensive statement (just because they had ‘nappy hair’ and tattoos they were ho’s) about them for the purpose of humor. Which I have done calling 50 Cent “King Kong’ and T-Pain a ‘predalope’. Funny? I think so, but not really.
The simple fact is if I made that comment at my job I would be fired. If Rick said that job at his job, he would be fired. If Griff made that at his job…you get the idea. Don Imus works for NBC Radio. I’m sure they have rules about diversity and on the job conversation. If this falls in line with this, he should be fired. If not, he stays. Tough shit, America. He still aint all that funny.
And that is my rant. It had been pissing me off for a minute and I had to get that out. Oy…that was LONG. My longest rant yet. It was actually three rants in one (Don Imus, The Racetastic Duo and What is Funny Reloaded) so it was a triple treat for the peeps. I will be back on Thursday (maybe) and Friday for the Top 20 Video Countdown. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Monday, April 09, 2007
304th Post Fool! What!
Good morning peeps! It is a lovely…cold Monday here in the CSP and as usual, I gotta pay the bills if you get my drift. Anyway, what is up? Did everyone enjoy Easter Weekend? Did you have EGG HUNT PARTAY?! I know I didn’t. Too damn cold for that shit.
So first off I want to thank you guys. For not seeing Grindhouse. The Tarentino/Rodriguez mindrape of a horror film finished behind Ice Cube’s Are We There Yet (a lesser of two evils, I guess) and I could not be happier. If there was EVER a man living off the popularity of old work more than Diddy, it’s Quentin. No, I didn’t fill the cup over Kill Bill 1&2 (they were okay but I didn’t need to change my pants out of pleasure like I had to do for 300) and Jackie Brown can KISS MY ASS (white people can say nigger, Quentin Tarentino cannot. New rule, he’s a prick and a racist). Aside from Pulp Fiction (which is an acquired taste I admit, but me likee) and Reservoir Dogs (which kicks ass on the Steve Buchemi factor alone), his whole fucking catalog of movies sucks ass. And don’t say From Dusk Til Dawn because that had George Clooney in it and that smug asshole cannot act. I don’t care what anyone says; he can eat a dick and die as far as I’m concerned. Yes, I know Salma Hayek strips because it’s the only part I remember not sucking.
As for Robert Rodriguez, he is living off of Frank Miller right now because of Sin City. Now of all films out there, Sin City is the most acquired taste of all. People either hated it or loved it (I for one dug it because it was relatively close to the graphic novel) and that is to be expected with comic book movies. Think about it; what had he done before? El Mariachi. Okay, that rocked. But dude, SPY KIDS?! The Adventures of Shark Boy & Lava Girl?! Yeah, cinematic genius right there, fucktard. Seriously, the work Zach and I did on Pirates vs. Ninjas was better than that. And we used Legos! Which despite their awesomeness, are unionized now which makes working with them kind of a hassle.
Quite simply, Quentin Tarentino makes movies for the same music R.Kelly pees on minors: he can get away with it because of previous work. R.Kelly has I Believe I Can Fly and Quentin has Pulp Fiction. Well let me tell you something Quentin. Steven Spielberg EARNED the right to make an A.I. and a Minority Report (both of which sucked). You know why? He gave us Goonies, Gremlins, Back To The Future, The Color Purple and Animaniacs. He earned a brainfart every now and then. You on the other hand have earned jackshit. I would rather sit through the Passion of Christ with members of Focus on the Family than watch another one of your movies. You suck. As for Robert…way to cheat on your wife of five kids. You disgust me. True or not, you still suck. People, don’t see Grindhouse. This isn’t normal math: two negatives don’t make a positive this time. AVOID!
Now, for some bad news. The weather report is saying there will be another cold front in on Friday. I am NOT MISSING ATHFCMFFT! You hear me Mother Nature?! I will go Kratos on your ass if you made it impossible for me to see this movie! I WILL ROCK YOUR FACE! Yes…we are bored. Man, I cannot WAIT to see this movie. It is going to be the polar opposite of Grindhouse: ‘Teh Awesome’.
Well, that is all for now. I will try to be back later on this week (Wednesday or Thursday) before the Countdown on Friday. Before I leave you, I just have one thing to say: Morning Musume. When did they get all hot on me?
Man, I used to listen to them all the time. Then Maki Goto went all Kumi Koda on me (which has its’ pros and cons because I would take her out for brunch) so I stopped listening to j-pop and got back in to hip hop for a while. Not one of my wiser decisions. Even still….damn. They’s HAWT. Until next time, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out.
So first off I want to thank you guys. For not seeing Grindhouse. The Tarentino/Rodriguez mindrape of a horror film finished behind Ice Cube’s Are We There Yet (a lesser of two evils, I guess) and I could not be happier. If there was EVER a man living off the popularity of old work more than Diddy, it’s Quentin. No, I didn’t fill the cup over Kill Bill 1&2 (they were okay but I didn’t need to change my pants out of pleasure like I had to do for 300) and Jackie Brown can KISS MY ASS (white people can say nigger, Quentin Tarentino cannot. New rule, he’s a prick and a racist). Aside from Pulp Fiction (which is an acquired taste I admit, but me likee) and Reservoir Dogs (which kicks ass on the Steve Buchemi factor alone), his whole fucking catalog of movies sucks ass. And don’t say From Dusk Til Dawn because that had George Clooney in it and that smug asshole cannot act. I don’t care what anyone says; he can eat a dick and die as far as I’m concerned. Yes, I know Salma Hayek strips because it’s the only part I remember not sucking.
As for Robert Rodriguez, he is living off of Frank Miller right now because of Sin City. Now of all films out there, Sin City is the most acquired taste of all. People either hated it or loved it (I for one dug it because it was relatively close to the graphic novel) and that is to be expected with comic book movies. Think about it; what had he done before? El Mariachi. Okay, that rocked. But dude, SPY KIDS?! The Adventures of Shark Boy & Lava Girl?! Yeah, cinematic genius right there, fucktard. Seriously, the work Zach and I did on Pirates vs. Ninjas was better than that. And we used Legos! Which despite their awesomeness, are unionized now which makes working with them kind of a hassle.
Quite simply, Quentin Tarentino makes movies for the same music R.Kelly pees on minors: he can get away with it because of previous work. R.Kelly has I Believe I Can Fly and Quentin has Pulp Fiction. Well let me tell you something Quentin. Steven Spielberg EARNED the right to make an A.I. and a Minority Report (both of which sucked). You know why? He gave us Goonies, Gremlins, Back To The Future, The Color Purple and Animaniacs. He earned a brainfart every now and then. You on the other hand have earned jackshit. I would rather sit through the Passion of Christ with members of Focus on the Family than watch another one of your movies. You suck. As for Robert…way to cheat on your wife of five kids. You disgust me. True or not, you still suck. People, don’t see Grindhouse. This isn’t normal math: two negatives don’t make a positive this time. AVOID!
Now, for some bad news. The weather report is saying there will be another cold front in on Friday. I am NOT MISSING ATHFCMFFT! You hear me Mother Nature?! I will go Kratos on your ass if you made it impossible for me to see this movie! I WILL ROCK YOUR FACE! Yes…we are bored. Man, I cannot WAIT to see this movie. It is going to be the polar opposite of Grindhouse: ‘Teh Awesome’.
Well, that is all for now. I will try to be back later on this week (Wednesday or Thursday) before the Countdown on Friday. Before I leave you, I just have one thing to say: Morning Musume. When did they get all hot on me?
Man, I used to listen to them all the time. Then Maki Goto went all Kumi Koda on me (which has its’ pros and cons because I would take her out for brunch) so I stopped listening to j-pop and got back in to hip hop for a while. Not one of my wiser decisions. Even still….damn. They’s HAWT. Until next time, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)