Old White Guys Making Poor Jokes. It's CRAP-TASTIC!

Okay, it is SO time for a mini-rant. Now I actually typed this last week when I first heard this in about 10 minutes (I type fast when I am pissed). After calming down and listening to the commentary over the last week or so, I revisited and re-worked this rant to add more parts to it and redo some of my initial feelings about the situation.

First off let me say I sparingly watched Don Imus over my lifetime. I watched when I was unemployed (came on the same time as ‘Mike and Mike in the Mornings on ESPN Radio) and listened a little bit because a friend of mine listened to him and Howard Stern when I was at Denver Tech. So I am not an expert on him, but I knows funny. Now over the past year of having a blog I have said jokes about many things can be funny when timed right, albeit offensive:

Blacks
Whites
Rape (Come on! A little surprise sex never hurt anyone! Okay maybe it has…)
Irish
Jews (Oy vey! In their defense, they have the most BAD ASS jump out process EVER. Remember Jesus? Oh, snap! You don’t leave the Jews, the Jews leave you)
Muslims (Yeah, I put them right next to each other. They both need to shut the hell up and be friends)
Christians (At least Jews and Muslims don’t have ‘Christian Rock’. That alone makes you the shittiest religion; I don’t care how many of you there are. Leave the rock to Foreigner!)
Midgets
Asians (Except for Cambodians. AK-47’s for all!)
Homosexuals
Fat People
Indians (Red dot, feather and Pacer fans. Oh, Indiana isn’t the home of Indians? Well then why in the fuck did they call it that?!)
Skinny People
Special People
Ugly People (Yeah, I know I am one two. Its called self-depreciating humor)
Abuse (Physical & Verbal. Come on, you know Ike Turner is funny!)
Sex with pets (Except house pets. They are so small! Now lions and tigers? Funny as hell because if you get some of that you EARNED it)
Sex with minors (Peeing on…not so funny)
Southerners
Scientologists
Drug Addicts
Turks (IT IS CONSTANTINOPLE!!)
Catholics (Can I get a robble robble from Zach?!)
Atheists (Or Nihilists. Whichever, doesn’t matter. None of this matters)
Mel Gibson
Women (Who I am slowly beginning to soften my stance on. They smell and feel nice…)
Men/Masculinity (Shut up. Being a man isn’t farting, fighting and liking big tits. That just puts you two steps above a monkey. Wow….I just proved evolution)
Femininity
Alcoholics
Feminist (Get a grip. And that is not a sexual reference, that means literally get a grip on reality)
Necrophelia (Not really, I just tossed that in to see if you were reading)
Hindus (Seven arms and Vishnu STILL can’t throw a decent breaking slider. He will SO be in the minors until he gets a third go-to pitch)
Anorexics
Skips, Skops, Hustlers, Tramps, Ruffians, Ne’r Do Wells, Hooligans and Scallywags (I kind of just wanted to say ‘scallywags’)

…and um…I think that’s all I have covered. Wow, that’s why no one came to my birthday party. My dicketry knows no bounds. Even still, these things CAN be funny. They just AREN’T ALWAYS FUNNY. It can be the delivery. It can be the timing. Mainly, the issue is intent. Aside from Catholics, Turks and midgets most of the scathing remarks I make are in social commentary. I will say when I am saying something to be offensive. And if I don’t say, trust me you know. Those that don’t (and there were some people who didn’t. Wont name names but she’s a dumbass regardless) usually don’t get me or get IT, which is fine. Even still, I also watch my words and wont same something for the sake of being offensive or hurtful unless it is deserved. R.Kelly I am talking to you. However, I was completely pissed off by the Don Imus segment on the Rutgers women’s basketball team being ‘nappy headed hos’ and being compared to ‘jiggaboos’
By his co-host guy. Wow…where do I start?

First off, Don Imus isn’t funny. As one of the three people in America that watches MSNBC or CARES about it I had the unfortunate privilege of hearing about this almost as it happened. First off, this isn’t only a race issue. This isn’t only a woman issue. This isn’t even only a Black woman issue. This is an issue about image. Another part that gets avoid and glossed over is that they were comparing the Rutgers women (with I think 8 black players out of 12. Someone correct me if I am wrong) with the players from Tennessee, who were all for the most part either white, light-skinned or attractive. The Rutgers players were even compared to the TORONTO RAPTORS who have a damn near all Black roster and much like any other NBA team, has players that carries a look of those we see in rap videos. Sad but true. It isn’t the Tennessee players fault. I mean I likes me some Candace Parker. Hells yeah. But that doesn’t justify Don’s comments because there is more to what he said than what ESPN (who is LOVING this right now as the game was shown ON ESPN) shows.

I ranted about two months ago about beauty and people being shallow. This peeps is the ultimate in shallow. I will admit I bash the HELL out of the WNBA (mainly because it is boring to me) but I have always watched almost all college athletics, men’s and women’s. I watch women’s basketball every once in a while and shockingly I never really once looked at a team and said ‘Man, them girls look rough’. The fact Don Imus said that for ‘humor’ shows me some things about what he perceives his audience thinks is funny:

Female + Nappy heads + Tattoos (which I didn’t see on any) + Black = Ho’s

That math makes sense? Like fuck it does. Now Black women and I have had our problems. Many of them. At the same time, nothing that the Rutgers team did is in line with the definition of a ‘ho’ or whore if you will. Paris Hilton? Whore, and it is documented and she is taking Valtrex for it. Essence Carson and the Rutgers women’s basketball team? Unless they are turning tricks for tuition (which is unlikely because I am guessing they are scholarship athletes) then NO THEY ARE NOT HO’S. As for being nappy-headed, what the fuck does that have to do with anything about the game? Not a GOD DAMN THING. It is an unfair statement and it is racist, sexist and takes away from a great accomplishment by the Don Imus saying that not only did they lose, they are ugly and they give it up easily. Now I don’t honestly believe that Don Imus should be fired. Not for this, but for a long line of dumb ass, thoughtless and offensive shit said to shock people. It is long overdue and he really can’t be bringing in THAT MANY LISTENERS to justify keeping someone on the radio. At least Howard Stern has one funny joke a year. Sometimes two. The fact is that Black or White, you say something that stupid you should be held accountable.

However, something is confusing me. Why would people defend what Don Imus said? Now I will defend anyone right to say something at all times. He has the right to say anything he would like. He has the freedom of speech, but you also have the right of accountability. You can say whatever you like, but there will be an equal reaction. In this case, he shouldn’t be fired for what he said he should be fired for the reaction it got. You have the right to bear arms, but there are consequences for using it at the wrong time or illegally. You have the freedom to assemble, but you can be punished by the results or actions of or in that assembly. Uncle Ben said it, now I am saying it once-a-fucking-gain for those that don’t listen:

With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility

You have great power with words. Words can be more effective than any weapon known to man. Once again, with the usage of any weapon there are repercussions to using it incorrectly and at the wrong time. Don used the words incorrectly to unfairly and offensively refer to a group of women that were NONE OF THOSE WORDS and at the wrong time after the Mel Gibson, Isaiah Washington, Hillary Clinton and Michael Richards flaps over the last few months. Those combined should have him in the unemployment line. Like I said, I can’t say firing is the answer because it doesn’t take back what he said and it really doesn’t change the hurt of the words.

However, by not firing him MSNBC sends the message that it is okay to be an idiot as long as you are sorry. You know what? He isn’t sorry. He feels bad the people are upset at him. He feels bad because he tried to be funny and bombed. Hell, he feels bad that sponsorships are being lost because of his words. For a first time offense it’s cool but he has made off-color to downright offensive jokes (check out some of his comments about Jews. Now I am one to talk, but still I’m not on the radio) about everything I mentioned earlier. He is trying to get rating by being provocative and offensive which is fine but this is what happens when you say the wrong thing at the wrong time. I know you will say that ‘You say racist and offensive things all the time!’ To that I say first off EAT IT. Once again, I’m not nationally syndicated and broadcast by a major news company, although I’m not sure if you can call MSNBC major. Secondly, offensive jokes aren’t all that is in my arsenal. That is all Don Imus does; he is a shock jock and his job is to shock you. Congrats you did your job, Don. You shocked America in to realizing that racism and sexism, no matter WHO it comes from is STILL racism and sexism.

Oh, and one last thing. As Americans one thing we LOVE to do is point the finger at the victim or find someone else to blame. For those of you that justify his comments with “Black men call black women ho’s all the time in rap music!” just remember first off that 95% of rap sucks. Second off, white people sign these assholes and get the majority of the money from its profit so what is the point? It is still indirect racism at the end of the day seeing as how most of the music and dancing is about chains, whips and shucking/jiving. Third off, white men call white women slut and whore (because white people SAY THE WHOLE WORD JUST LIKE THIS. Ah, Boondocks) just as much (Frat boy movies anyone? Women in the American Pie and Van Wilder movies all had such pivotal roles. Oh, and lest we forget that the devil before rap was glam/cock rock) and as for the music…yeah, Eminem killing and raping his mom is SO not worse than calling a woman a ‘ho’ to rhyme with ‘flow’. God I hate rap.

Oh yeah, quit blaming Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson for the blowup of this situation. It is all the media’s fault anyway. First off, there are only two people that listen to Al and Jesse:

Old Ass Black People (Who seem to forget that it is 2007 and racism is still here but it aint the same. No need to march, niggas just need to read books and stop buying chains.)
Stupid Ass White People (Which seems to be ALL OF YOU! I mean you all know racism exists but if you aren’t part of the problem shut the fuck up!)

The fact is Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton can suck my black balls for all I care. Yes they were around when MLK Jr. got shot but you know, so the fuck what? I was watching TV when Biggie and 2Pac got shot but you don’t see me as the mouthpiece of the Black community. You know I would get us fixed up in three months. Then I would pull a Larry Brown and fix up the Asian community. God, please let someone get that joke. The fact is they talk because White people listen. I sure as hell aint and neither are the Black people I know. So White people need to just not listen to him. Ask some other Black people. Hell, ask Ja Rule for all I care but they get press time because the media GIVES THEM PRESS TIME. They are like the god damn Hulk, the more attention you give them the stronger they get just like The Hulk and anger! IGNORE THEM! Like Token said ‘Jesse Jackson isn’t the President of Black People!’ He and Al Sharpton ain’t even the Inspector Gadget and Penny of Black people! If they say you are racist for not listening to them, direct them to me. Seriously.

In closing Don Imus, as much of a fucktard as he is, didn’t owe Blacks an apology as much as he doesn’t owe women an apology. He owes an apology to those ladies that played their ass off against a kick-ass Tennessee team. The he should apologize to America for being unfunny to appeal to a demographic of intolerant people. I take myself to task everyday for the jokes I say and whether they hurt people. Is firing him for what he said about the basketball team the answer? No. Should he resign? Personally, I don’t think so.

WHAT?! After this long ass rant I say that he shouldn’t be fired and he shouldn’t resign?! No. Quite simply…comedy is hit or miss. We all have jokes that have bombed out in a major way. I honestly believe that a joke like that could never have been funny especially because he was directing the joke at undeserving players. I don’t believe Don Imus is funny. Never have, odds are never will. I believe in his right to say this and you know what? I even believe him when he says he isn’t a racist. A racist believes they are better than someone due to their race and I don’t believe he is better than those players. I do believe that he made a offensive statement (just because they had ‘nappy hair’ and tattoos they were ho’s) about them for the purpose of humor. Which I have done calling 50 Cent “King Kong’ and T-Pain a ‘predalope’. Funny? I think so, but not really.

The simple fact is if I made that comment at my job I would be fired. If Rick said that job at his job, he would be fired. If Griff made that at his job…you get the idea. Don Imus works for NBC Radio. I’m sure they have rules about diversity and on the job conversation. If this falls in line with this, he should be fired. If not, he stays. Tough shit, America. He still aint all that funny.

And that is my rant. It had been pissing me off for a minute and I had to get that out. Oy…that was LONG. My longest rant yet. It was actually three rants in one (Don Imus, The Racetastic Duo and What is Funny Reloaded) so it was a triple treat for the peeps. I will be back on Thursday (maybe) and Friday for the Top 20 Video Countdown. Until then, stay up peeps.

Chachi Out.