Aw, snap! Hump day in the hizzy, and don’t you for-gizzy! Well, yesterday I had my tangent about the Virginia Tech Incident and for the most part I am cool. I’m not really a religious person, so I just ask that people grieve in their own way and come to grips with tragedy whatever way they can. Except via horrible, horrible tribute song. I am looking at YOU Alan Jackson. Oh man….I hope R.Kelly doesn’t record a tribute song. I may just have to regulate. Mount up!
Alrighty, now that I have gotten that out of the way it is time for me to go back to my normal material: dumb ass people. With the whole Don Imus thing blown over (finally!) it seems that the focus has shifted back to where all the blame goes when something goes wrong in America: hip hop.
Okay, as many of you know (or like six) I have a love/hate relationship with hip hop as music and culture. Seeing as how the music has been turned to shit and the culture is now marketed in Avis commercials all I can say is ‘meh’ to it for now. What is so funny is that every few months people get up in arms about how hip hop is offensive and destroying America. Yet…people listen to MIMS (who licks dirty donkey testicles talent-wise) like he’s hot solely because he tells us so. I can say I’m skinny, doesn’t make it true. The lyrics have come under fire by Oprah, especially after she wouldn’t let the ‘Gangsta rapper’ Ludacris on her show and when she did she grilled him.
Well, first off gangsta rap sucked. I was there in its heyday and it sucked then. If any rappers out right now are gangsta rappers I haven’t heard them. The only people using that name are (once again) old ass Black people and STUPID ASS WHITE PEOPLE (looking at Papa Bear). You can say whatever you want to about the lyrics because they usually suck. From Eminem to 50 Cent to Nelly to even T.I. (and I dig the King of the South but he gets rather repetitive) all are lyrically stalled on ‘booty butt, booty butt, booty butt cheeks’ and ‘bling blong’. Before you white people start to defend Eminem for being ‘talented’ he raps about the same shit on his albums, he just releases radio friendly singles to hide the fact that he is like every other shitty ass rapper.
As of right now, I am willing to say that more that 85% of rap sucks. To people who says all rap sucks you have no frame of reference if you only listen to what your worthless ass roommate listens to or what they play on the radio. The radio is very structured in what they play, and there is a specific reason you don’t hear Common, Atmosphere, K-OS or Mos Def on the radio. They don’t sell and aren’t marketable to a mass audience. Which has become the problem. Aside from Kanye West (who is once again working my nerves) and Outkast no rappers outside of the standard (booty, bling and bankroll. Shit, that will probably be Nelly’s next album title. If it is, I will so sue) fare have been successful by record label terms. Now as one who listened to hip hop for 25 years for the most part exclusively I believe I have a good frame of reference to say it sucks as a whole. Not just individual artists, but the genre. Just so you know, the ‘Brokeback Mountain Theory’ of I don’t have to see it to know it sucks works on an individual basis, not as a blanket term. To just say all of a genre sucks without any knowledge of it is just plain ignorant. The last thing we need is to spread more ignorance.
So let me ask the question: is it up to the artist to monitor what they say for the youth of America? No. Why? Because if a youth is going to shoot up a school, harass a classmate, or as Riley would say ‘shoot a nigga’ because of what a rap song tells you then you are a fucktard and need to removed or made infertile because we don’t need more of you. The fact is that saying nigga, ho, bitch and whatever else in a song doesn’t make it right for anyone else to say it because those words shouldn’t be said. I kind of believe that instead of being upset about someone calling a woman a ho, you should not BE ONE so the word has no meaning and they just become an idiot. Women accepting that (I hear more women call each other ho than men ever have) word gives it meaning. Like I said on my Nigger Post (wow…that is JACKED UP no matter how you say it) words like that should incite a change. Not make you ‘pop, drop and lock it’.
I pondered the question in my Ethnic Studies/Women’s Studies class about why women dance to ‘Get Low’ by Lil Jon and ‘Shake Yo Tailfeather’ by Nelly when the song is just a four minute insult to women. All the answers were along the lines of ‘they aren’t talking to me and I like the beat and/or to dance to it’. First off, you dumb bitch they are talking to you. Don’t lie to yourself or me. Second off, since dancing now is just rejected stripper moves (when I was at the Thirsty Parrot women were dancing with a broom like it was a stripper pole. I NEVER want hear women complain about being treated like a stripper when YOU LITERALLY ACT LIKE A STRIPPER! THAT SHIT IS STUPID!) I will actually accept the good beat and dance to it part. There is nothing better than funky fresh dance moves. However, YOU DON’T DANCE. You grind like…well a stripper trying to earn an extra $20. I go to the club to make fun of people and dance to one or two songs. I don’t go to the club to get damn near sexually assaulted. Especially to a shitty song (One of many reasons why I hate Akon and the club so much. I have NEVER been so violated in my LIFE. She took my innocence from me!). So long story short, I will tell women what I say all the time. Respect yourself and others will respect you. Don’t dance to or listen to these songs and they will stop (foreshadowing….thy name is Will).
Lastly, to all the Black people complaining about rap. Shut the fuck up. SHUT THE FUCK…UP! The simple fact is that White people lack originality. All they can do is take from others (J-Tim, Elvis, Jerry Lee Lewis) or exploit others work (Jimmy Iovine, whoever runs Viacom, Clive Davis). Hell, even in science! A Black man cured polio, he just went to get a Coke to celebrate and a White man stole it! The airplane? Black man. Niggas don’t swim! That’s why we are here right now! Okay…that was messed up.
I AM JOKING!
In all serialness, Black people always say that rap needs to change. Yet, every three months they repackage the same shit just move the region (West Coast, East Coast, Atlanta, New Orleans, Miami and Chicago now. Watch, Denver is next!) so it is as DJ Clue would say ‘NEW SHIT!’ It is not new shit, it’s the same shit and we as Black people accept it. We accept 50 Cent and his gorilla-looking ass. We allow Nelly and Paul Wall (Who is TOTALLY white. I thought he was mixed!) to push grillz in our mouths. We relish in the gaudy jewelry and asininely lavish lifestyle that is Baby and Lil Wayne. What is even worse, we accept the violent lyrics and insulting caricatures of women and young black men because it is keeping it real. Fuck. The only thing that sells better than sex is ignorance. Same thing I said to women applies to Black people. Don’t accept the ignorance spreading. Either ignore it, buy a damn Talib Kweli album or switched to J-pop and anime like I did. Sure you lose all your friends but true friends are down with the Bleach and Death Note anyway.
Final point: not listening won’t stop it because those who like it still will listen. Hit rappers where it hurts: the cash, the feti, the loot, the coinage, the fedarali, the flow, the duckets, the bottom line, the stacks, the stash, the green, the dollaz, the cream, the cheddar, the hibbidy bipptity, the dead presidents, the payola, the stackola. Don’t buy the records, don’t go to the shows and don’t go to the club. Avioding all will make you a better person. Instead, read a god damn book! Watch a movie! Take a walk! Do anything, and soon they will realize that what is out will not be accepted and not what we want to hear as hip hop fans. I know what I want to hear. Hip hop about making a change. Hip hop about having fun. Hip hop about enjoying your life. I want to hear some Kid ‘n’ Play, fool! WHAT!
Stay true peeps. Chachi will be back for the Countdown on Friday and may be back up tomorrow.
Proper.
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