Better late than never.

Sorry about being so late on the update. I know I have people to entertain. Yes, all three of you. So I am not as far in Kingdom Hearts II as I thought. I still have about 25-30 hours left (if I'm feeling real froggy, which I am since I'm still a bum for now) and it looks like business is about the pick up. Especially since I have been getting messed up by bosses in the last few levels. Oh, and Belle is kinda saucy in the librarian way. Yeah, I need to get out of the house.

So just saw the new hour long Bleach (two weeks in a row, too. Can't beat that, peeps) and after a bit of stalling, now they get down to business. If the new opening (which is kind of 'bleh' after HIGH and MIGHTY COLOR and Uverworld's opening themes which were 'teh rock') is any indication, then more members of Soul Society are coming to Earth and that would RULE ALL.

You know, now that Bleach will be on Cartoon Network this fall, supposedly on the Adult Swim lineup with new Naruto, One Piece and the next season of the Boondocks (knowing Aaron McGruder, he may pull a Dave Chappelle and run) and Aqua Teen I may just lose my mind. I'm a grown ass man, but I will watch that lineup like its Saturday morning in 1986. Late ass Sunday night is the new Saturday morning. That's gonna be hell when I start back to work.

So I had to rethink my stance on the South Park episode. I initially told Zach that there was no way that Comedy Central was going to air an episode with Mohammed images. Until I went home and watched the last episode of The Boondocks. Rumor has it that it WILL be the last episode, even with the next season deal just signed in February (WOO-HOO! Black History Month) due to the image of Ronald Reagan as 'white god' in 'white heaven'. I was shocked so many white people were offended seeing as its a cartoon and white folks love Ronald Reagan. With that (which caused a rather SMALL uproar compared to what the Muhammad images will) being said, I think that its about 70% yes. Viacom (which is also CBS) is reeling from the Super Bowl three years ago (let it go, FCC. It was a titty, not a mauled child, which in my opinion would have made for better TV) and the Cold Case fines so I am wondering on whether THEY will let it slide. If the Catholics and Scientologists can get episodes pulled it will be interesting to see what happens with this one. Anyone confused why they still show the 'Hot Catholic Love' but they got all riled up about the Virgin Mary bleeding out of her vagina instead of her ass (It sounds a lot worse when it's typed)? Talk about screwed up priorities.

So in my boredom I downloaded Nana, a Japanese movie made for tv (I think) based off a manga. I am getting started on it and it's....okay. Leaps and BOUNDS ahead of Cutey Honey (which underneath the nostalgia was a bad movie) and has some cool moments so far. Imagine REC meets Laverne and Shirley meets Beck (the anime, not the dude). Well, I only saw one episode of Beck so that's not a good comparison. Still, its cool and if you are familiar with Torrents and Animesuki, check it out.

You know, weird trivia note. I just saw Caddyshack for the first time since 1988. The last time I saw it was in the hotel before my family flew to Aviano WAAAAAAAY back the. I was like 7 years old and afraid to sleep because we were stuck in Philadelphia and that city is hardcore. You know what they did after the Philly fans booed Santa? They anally raped the Easter Bunny. No lie.

So, time for the obligatory J-pop video. I have been looking for this video for about four or five years, pretty much all through college. I got this song from a friend of mine in my Intercultural Comm class when we traded songs (wow, I had a 60 GB hard drive then and I thought I could take on NASA. Now I have 1020GB of hard drive space and am running out of spaces to save stuff. Cosmic) and I have been in love with it ever since. I couldn't find the video on MIRC or the other download tools (remember Bearshare? Man, those were the DAYS!) so I gave up. Thankfully, people who use YouTube are after my own heart. This song is sad, slow and makes you just sit. One of my favorite J-pop songs (if not THE favorite), here is Kiroro with Fuyu No Uta:

Oh, on another note. I picked up the Robot Chicken DVD and wow, it is worth the 20 bucks. Think of it as a buck an episode and you can justify the purchase. Also, they had the deleted scenes and I don't know how in the hell they left the Britney Spears' parody of Citizen Kane out of that first season. That was the funniest thing on the damn DVD! Good stuff. They also changed the 'Voltron Gets Served' song, which was interesting. It's just as good, but it WAS a little too close to DMX's 'Get It On The Floor' so I guess thats why. Anyway, kick ass DVD. Robot Chicken is now my anti-drug.

Well, I'm gonna boogie out peeps. Ya'll stay up and I may put something up tomorrow. My hard drive went Bobby Brown last night (everything I moved to it wouldn't save) so I wiped it and started clean. I got to re-install damn near everything so that will be fucking fantastic. I may have everything up by then but if not, I will be back on Sunday mos def.

Okay, I had to put this up. I frickin' HAD to.

AWESOME. That was the perfect way to end this post. Wait...

THAT'S the perfect way to end this post. Hey, what can I say. I likes the Vida. Stay up, peeps.

Chachi out.

(Update: GREATEST FLASH TOON EVER)

It's A Wonderlic World

Man, this week has been hectic. A little rough too. But eh, that's life. How have the peeps been? Anxiously awaiting my return? Probably not, seeing as no one visits here anyway. But for those that are back, I do miss you all. And man do I have some crap to go over.

First off, I went in for an interview and took the Wonderlic test. This is the test that they give NFL draft candidates to test their ability for rationalizing problems and thinking on their feet. I took the ACT and SAT prep tests and I understood the argument about bias. Not racially biased, but socially and class biased. Here is an example of one of the questions:

INGENIOUS and INGENUOUS. Are these words:

1) the same in meaning
2) opposite in meaning
3) neither the same or opposite in meaning

No shit. This is one of the actual questions. All I could say was 'hooba jooba wha?' What in the hell does this have to do with aptitude or skill? It has to do with how extensive your vocabulary is. Not really much else. And my all time favorite:

Q. In printing an article of 48,000 words, a printer decides to use two sizes of type. Using the larger type, a printed page contains 1,800 words. Using smaller type, a page contains 2,400 words. The article is allotted 21 full pages in a magazine. How many pages must be in smaller type?

What?What does this test really? Not a goddamn thing. Standardized testing is bullshit and I know why kids hate them. Hell, I hated the ITBS test (Iowa Test of Basic Skills, depending on who you ask) although I did rather well. Standard testing with situational questions like these are like algebra: you really don't ever use it, and when you do you dont know it. Besides, when was the last time someone used the Pythagorean theorem at King Soopers? What did all that math get THAT person. Not a damn thing. Testing should be relevant to what YOU ARE TESTING FOR. Standardized testing is assuming everyone has been taught the same skills and has acquired the same knowledge. I went to a public school and I know that shit ant legit. These tests are based on knowing words, structure and problems that sadly a lot of people havent been taught. Aside from Duke students (who are also adept at being racist, elitist pricks) almost no one knows this stuff. Oddly enough. Online I took the test a second time (with different and harder fucking questions) and I got a 42. Out of 50. I had to have cheated. You know who that makes me smarter than?

Alex Smith, quarterback — 40 (DOWN WITH UTAH!)
Brian Griese, quarterback — 39
Eli Manning, quarterback — 39 (EAT THAT, BITCH!)
Ryan Fitzpatrick, quarterback — 38
Akili Smith, quarterback — 37 O_o
Matt Leinart, quarterback — 35
Tom Brady, quarterback — 33
Steve Young, quarterback — 33
John Elway, quarterback — 30
Troy Aikman, quarterback — 29
Peyton Manning, quarterback — 28 (BETTER THAN YOUR WHOLE FUCKING FAMILY!)
Ryan Leaf, quarterback — 27
Major Applewhite, quarterback — 26
Ben Roethlisberger, quarterback — 25
Hugh Millen, quarterback — 24
David Carr, quarterback — 24
Brett Favre, quarterback — 22 (He's from Mississippi, people. It's expected)
Chris Simms, quarterback — 22
Michael Vick, quarterback — 20
Vinny Testaverde, quarterback — 18
Antwaan Randle El, wide receiver — 17
Aaron Brooks, quarterback — 16
Dan Marino, quarterback — 16 (Wha?)
Vince Young, quarterback — 15 (On the second try. If I'm not mistaken, under a 14 is DERRRP-A-DERRR!)
Randall Cunningham, quarterback — 15
Donovan McNabb, quarterback — 12
Marcus Vick, quarterback — 11
Jeff George, quarterback — 10
Sebastian Janikowski, placekicker — 9
(All info from www.wikipedia.com)

USA! USA! I'm trying to find the link for the test I took, but here is one to test out yourself. See how well you do.

Aint that 'bout a bitch? Kind of a stupid test IMHO. Second time on that link I got 6 (so a 33 give or take) so I ain't all that smart.

So back to Kingdom Hearts 2. I REALLY hate Tron. That level sucked like Karrine Steffans (oooohhhh, I am the insult master!) and was actually supposedly near the end of the game. So I got my ASS handled in the boss fight. I left that and went to Halloween Town. After that, its off to the Pride Land (Lion King, fools!) and who knows after that. Still worth the money, though.

Man, Jackie Guerrido.....wow. I have seen her on other blogs and armageddonrld agrees. If the armageddon ever comeforecastnt her to deliver the forcast. I havent looked forward to the news this much since Ann Curry did the NBC morning news back when I was in high school. Mmmmm....

Holy shit, I just took that link again and got 9 out of 9. I am a fucking genius! This calls for a celebration, peeps.

If anyone knows where I can find a live performance of this song with BoA that doesnt sound like Cambodian workers being beaten with howler monkeys or that one with Ayumi Hamasaki and everyone's mom in it let me know. I still dig this song. And does anyone know if this REALLY was in Gundam or not? I know there were like 9 different series, but I am just curious. Speaking of bishies, it's about time someone stood up to the otome-power of anime chicks and said the truth about Inu-Yasha. You go, Scott. You are now my new idol.

Man, it's time to kick it old school. If you dont remember this jam, either you are too young or you wasnt down in the One-nine-nine-fo'. Who is it? Smooth Chachi and.....Soul IV Real!

Man, those were the days. I remember MESA field trips listening to that song. Yes, the Chachi was in MESA. Sue me, it was back when I didnt know the weight of the world crushes your dreams and I was an optimist. Now I know the real.

Peeps, I am kind of disappointed. All I asked for were 3 anime badasses, and I couldnt even get you guys to give me one. Not one suggestion. Well, I have found my three and I will have the website ready soon. Probably Monday or so so we can get this thing started. I want to set up the Ladies Night Battle around Nan-Desu-Kan because my fellow anime fans won't let me down. Even the random ones. Needless to say, I am a tad upset about the lack of response. Since I know the three people that come here, I know who you are and you will be catching The Revolutionizer upside your dome piece in the near future. Man, I need to calm down. This should help:


Much better. I am off to finish up this level of Halloween Town. I will be back late tomorrow with some stuff for ya'll. Stay up, peeps.

Chachi out.

Another day, another box of stolen pens.

Morning, peeps. First things first: GO SEE ICE AGE: THE MELTDOWN. That movie kicked ass. Fun for adults, kids AND the Irish. And marvel at the pain which is Garfield 2. Who greenlights this crap?

Secondly, Kingdom Hearts 2 was kicking ass until the Tron level. Aside from the fact I didn't like Tron (anyone who can tell me the plot without confusing themselves gets a Chic-Fil-A sam) the level is a WHACK ASS DRIVING LEVEL. Minus the driving, it's all command prompts. However, the Pirates and Agrabah levels were cool. And you get Stitch as a summon! Beat that! So far, I still recommend this game. At least until the inevitable Cloud vs. Sephiroth fight that I would have to agree does NOT belong in this game.

So, a little more about the Duke 'scandal'. You know, I'm just gonna say it: even if members of the lacrosse team didn't assault the girl, the events leading up to it are just as stupid and they need to be taken to task for them. Spraypainting racial epithets and insulting blacks in FRONT OF NEIGHBORS is just plain ignorant. You know, I always figured private school kids to be hippies like at CC. By the way, I was surprised by the amount of hippies there, just seemed to be counter-productive to have private school hippies. Complaining about the world while listening to 'Come On People Now (Drive Hybrid Cars Now)' on their Video ipod while eating an organic bagel just seems out of place there.

Back to the point, I think that people will say that just because someone was (allegedly) sexually assaulted in the lacrosse players house doesn't mean they were at fault or involved. Now that is true, but SOMEONE should have had the brains to say 'Having a stripper at the house of scholarship athletes in this day and age might not be a good fucking idea.' With all the issues with other major universities athletic programs (mostly public but with better sports programs) a move like this was just plain ignorant. You don't move into the line of fire, even if you are sporting a vest. It's easier to err on the side of safe and NOT have the party. Just common sense, but as we have seen with celebrities and athletes lately, money doesnt equal intelligence.

This has little to do with anything, but do you know who has always pissed me off? Hot Rod from the Transformers. Anyone remember what the dipshit did in the movie?

He got Optimus Prime killed, then took his spot. In a way that is pure genius. Yet, I can't help but think he should be kicked in the damn throat for killing an icon.

See, I told everyone the devil wasn't to blame for teen sex. It's the MEDIA. boo-bee-boo-boo-boo. You know, maybe I give teens too much credit for their intelligence. I must say that at 12-14, i was playing video games. From 14-16....I was also playing video games. Now that I think about it, I didn't need to worry about teen sex, not because I was concerned but because no ladies were giving it up to nerds. God, that is a SAD ASS STATEMENT.

Well, I gots to run. I am going to finalize the Darth Vader brackets on Wednesday so send suggestions in ASAP. The polls should be up by next Monday. Stay up, peeps.

Chachi out.

Can't Talk, Gotta Run...

Three words: Captain Jack Sparrow. In my party. Hells yeah. Be back tomorrow, peeps.

Chachi a-hoy!

Spring Forward...Into PAIN!

This will be short peeps. I am sadly addicted to Kingdom Hearts. Although I am kinda miffed about Pooh not merging with Jenvoa. That would have made for a rather interesting plot. Anyway, 10 hours of work in three days (and not playing at all yesterday) is actually pretty damn good. Did I ever mention that I hate Hercules? And that Chicken Little as a SUMMON is the lamest thing EVER? If I havent, I am saying it now. LAAAAAAAAME.

So Ice Age 2 was pretty damn good. That squirrel needs an Oscar. George Clooney got one, the Ice Age squirrel deserves one. After threatening us with another Oceans movie, I think it's time to give him the business.

Oh, about Deeyah, that I had on earlier this week. This is her video. A tad underwhelming:

Yeah, that was kinda lame. Still, I'd hit that.

Anyway, I told you this would be short. I gotta get the hell out of the Hercules level before I get pissed. I'll be back tomarry-o. Stay up peeps.

Chachi a-hoy!

It's good to be a kid....

Morning, peeps. Got a busy afternoon and evening so I'm dropping this off early.

First off, yesterday I traded in Shadow Hearts (The New World one, which was suprisingly short for an RPG these days at 29 hours for me) and Ultimate Spiderman (never really got into it) for.....Kingdom Hearts II. I know, I know I spent about three posts saying how I hated the idea of Disney characters on-screen with Siefer or Sepiroth. Yet...this game kicks MAJOR ASS.I bought it last night and I just got INTO the actual Kingdom Hearts game (not gonna ruin it, but after you play the beginning you may be pissed. Think MGS2) and met Leon, Aeris (kill Mena Suvari!) and Yuffie (yep, I'm going to jail. Did you SEE Advent Children?). So far, it is pretty damn fun. The gameplay is a LOT more forgiving this time and Goofy and Donald aren't total tards. They really pumped up the A.I. in this one. So, if you can get past the fact that there is a Chicken Little level (which I am SO going to be pissed off if its part of the linear storyline and I have to play it) it's actually well worth the buy. The people at the GameStop said it has 110 hours of gameplay, but they also told me that Black was better than Halo 2. I say bullshit to that but if it is even half that, it's worth they buy.

So I said last week that Bleach got liscensed, but I just downloaded episode 73 (not the fucked up machine one) and business is about to pick up again. Ishida is going on a journey like The Blues Brothers while something is going down in Soul Society again. Bantou vs Devil Gods? Can I get a hells yeah? Also, I was glad to hear that Viz is handling the US release. I was praying it wasnt going to be Bandai (or as I call them the Hyundai of the anime industry) seeing as how every Bandai DVD has had issues with it. If they were to fuck with my Bleach, I would have to handle them fools. At this point, it they put it on Adult Swim with maybe new episodes of Naruto, Mai-HiME and the last episodes of Inuyasha that would be a lineup worth watching. Also, I would like to ask that they make a block of anime consisting of Azumanga Diaoh, Excel Saga and Pani Poni Dash. Now THAT would kick ass.

Wow, Bush REALLY shouldn't be allowed to speak in public. I'm watching this press conference with President Fox (Mexico) and Prime Minister Harper (Canada or 'America's Beenie') and he just sounds....like he doesnt belong. Like Carnie Phillips. Wow, PM Harper is a pretty well spoken guy for a Canadian. Did Bush just offer to help Iran? IRAN? Geez, I'm gonna leave it alone.

Now, I am going to say this and I don't care what people say about it. People need to let this Natalee Holloway being 'abducted and violated' thing go. I'm going to give you my theory. Just like my Kobe theory, I am sure it is 100% accurate.

Natalee at some point went out with a few (odds are two, maybe three depending on how stupid she was) local boys because they were gonna 'sight-see' or 'show her the beauty of Aruba'. At that point, they probably frequented three or four bars/clubs, with her drinking several drinks at each one. At this point, I am not sure on whether she was given pills or not, but odds are, she had enough alcohol in her system to make a bear give up the keys. If she WAS given drugs, those dudes are REALLY sad because at this point she would have been drunk enough for the whole Duke lacrosse and Colorado football team to go wild on. Anyway, odds are after sex with the two (or three) locals she passed out. Problem was, despite all their efforts, she wouldn't wake up. Knowing she was an American, they panicked (because if Saddam ordered killings of his own people and got his country fucked, imagine what Bush would do to Aruba for killing a WHITE WOMAN! Aruba ain't OJ) and hid her body. That's it. Sounds rather simple yet stupid, right?

I am not going to down play the tradgedy of Natalee's death because I don't know her and never met her. However, I am sick of the media coverage of this because quite simply, NO ONE KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED EXCEPT FOR HER AND WHOEVER THE ACCUSERS ARE. The theory I have is just a theory and everyone has one. Does that make mine more valid? Yes, because I rule. However, let's not blame the perverts just yet. Remember what I said about freedom? She chose to go with men (I am assuming) she didn't know who spoke a language (I am sure she didnt) speak on an island (I know) she had never been to. When you look at it like THAT, she just seems stupid. No one wants to make her look stupid, but sometimes that is just how things happend. Nothing wrong with that, sometimes people make a bad decision. Like I say about two drunk people having sex and the woman ends up charging the other drunk idiot with rape: sometimes you have to chalk it up as a loss and charge it to the game. That sounds bad, but what else can be done? Alcholol is a mind-altering substance so neither party is in any position to make any claims. If all the parties were drunk in this Natalee Holloway case, all wants of revenge and closure aside what can really be done? Unless them dudes were straight sober and then I say handle them fools. Thug style.

Okay, now it's Duke's turn. Now the case of the lacrosse team versus the escort is simple. When I heard that she went back in the house after being harassed and treated in an agressive manner because of her race, I asked WHY?! At no point if you feel you are in danger do you go back into the place where you feel the least safe. Then I heard she went back in to get the other escort, and at that point was forced into a bathroom and was then seually assaulted by three white males (this was heard on ESPN2 Cold Pizza yesterday at 9:08 am). Now, I know there are a lot of white people in Durham (about 55% depending on which news show you watch) and you can't just go around saying a white person did it and have every white male be a subject. People are saying that it's not fair to have every white male be a suspect because of one persons' accusation.

O_0

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Man, that is priceless. You know I was a supect for a purse-snactching in Syracuse last year? But irony aside. We dont know what happened or if the players actually did this act, but it happened (reportedly according to MSNBC) at a house FOR the players so the odds are very high if it did happen players were involved. If that is the case, that is rather sad. People say that this will tarnish the reputation of the university, but I never had anything against Duke all that much anyway. Wait, didn't Steve Spurrier go to Duke? I think he did. I now have my reason.

So, it's time to the J-Pop section that has totally overtaken this blog. It has bugged me that I couldn' t find a video Ayumi Hamasaki's Evolution live that sounds just right. The song must be a bitch to sing (especially that AH YYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! in the second refrain) live due to the sheer speed alone. I had the PV on a while back, and one live performance when she struggled with it. Well, I just found the best live version of Evolution yet. And she hits the AAHH YEEEEEAAAAHHHHH pretty well.

I love that song, I dont care if its like 5 years old. Taiko drums, fool! WHAT!

So, let's see. Kingdom Hearts 2. Ice Age 2 at 1:20. Could this day get any better? Yes. Yes it can. Thank you to Viln for putting this up, you are my new idol. I bring to you, the Live at Budokan version of Tripod Baby by the old school M-Flo. Man, Lisa has a classy hot look to her. Like Jill Scott. Back to the video. Not gonna cry.....

Fuck it, I'm gonna buy a region free DVD and Dope Space Nine as soon as I get my first check. So this is officially the GREATEST DAY EVER. I have low expectations, but still this day is gonna rule. Well, I'm off to see Ice Age 2. I will let you know how it is. Here is a hint: it's gonna kick the ass. All of it. Even the flank. Speaking of ass....


I'D HIT THAT! I'D HIT THAT! I'D HIT THAT!

Chachi out.

Gotta Pay the Mortgage....

Morning, peeps. Early update today because....well I'm awake and now is as good a time as any. I also feel bad about not hitting ya'll up yesterday. So get a widescreen, this is my longest post to date. Even longer than the Fiddy rant. What can I say, I am a man of the peeps.

First off, I'm still lost on the Darth Vader Battle because I am STILL not versed on anime like I should be. I really hate tripling up (doubling up already seems like a cop-out) on the same series, but if I don't get some suggestions I may have to do that. Also, Starscream from Transformers is out and Skar from The Lion King is in. If for nothing else, being the catalyst (bweh heh, cat) the second movie to make me cry in a theater. Asshole.

Speaking of the theater, I saw Thank You For Smoking last night and all I can say is this. GREATEST MOVIE EVER. The fact that Stay Alive was nationally released (and shitfucks actually WATCHED IT) while this movie has been in limited release for 3 weeks show that William H. Macy's character was right: Americans DO need warning labels on dangerous products. Not for safety, but for their own fucking stupidity. The are gonna be those 'Big Tobacco' haters that are just going to label this movie as spin. Well DUUUUUUUUUUHHH! That's all anything ever is. At least this movie has legitimate points FOR (well not for, I will say about).

1. Use Common Sense: Really, REALLY think about it. At what point would someone think that smoking is not dangerous in some way shape or form? It is fire plus smoke plus leaves. Even in the hey day of smoking, inhaling smoke was KNOWN to not be safe. Don't blame lack of knowledge for cancer now, blame excess of ignorance.
2. Freedom: As long as something is legal, it should be our right as Americans to choose. People can choose to bungee jump, they can choose to worship whatever imaginary deity or faith they want but they can't light up in their favorite restaurant because of second-hand smoke? Bullshit. Your happy ass has the fucking right to LEAVE. I love how people are all for freedom until it effects them. When it all comes down to it, people should have the choice whether or not to smoke, just like people have the right to not have to sit by them.
3. Shifting Blame: Let's face it here, depending on who you ask there either are or aren't links for smoking to lung cancer, emphysema and terrorism. Quite honestly, let's look at it like this. Unless you were a baby or a quadriplegic and forced to be around smokers for 20 years, you have no legit beef with the industry. Put the blame where it belongs, on yourself for smoking. Not on the cigarette industry for creating the product, you for using it. Like I said before, no one comes out of the womb with a nicotine dependency. NO ONE, fuck faulty science. A very important part of freedom is responsibility. Of all things, freedom and the right to choose are the greatest powers we have. Whether is smoking, killing babies or watching deviant pornography, we as American have the right to choose what we do, not choose who to blame. We all have backbones, use it.

Back to the point, Thank You For Smoking is an Oscar worthy flick with an AWESOME lead performance from Aaron Eckhart. In a perfect world, William H. Macy and J.K. Simmons (for those that dont know, he was J. Jonah Jameson in Spiderman and Spiderman 2) would both be up for best supporting actor nods. Yet we know that shit won't happen, but a movie like 'Brokeback Mountain' was nominated this year for no reason whatsoever. I guess it is better to be gay than a smoker. There is a joke there, but I have morals.

So before I go any futher....BoA. We need to talk though. You see, you are hitting a very important age here. You will be 20 this November and I have to warn you. This is about the time when pop princesses go pure whore. Not all, there are some women who have good heads on their shoulders (it's a reach to think of who, so I will have to get back to you on that) at this age. However, this was about the time when Britney's trailer park genes took over. And Christina....I think she's more crazy than a whore, I honestly do. However, I hope you stay the way you are. There is nothing wrong with sexuality because it is natural. Just don't end up getting knocked up by a dipshit backup dancer and go off the deep end with the alcohol. I have too much respect for you. With that being said peeps, here is Kiseki....mmmmmmm neeeeyaawwww.

You know, that is one special young lady right there. Oh, and another thing. A few of people on YouTube had the AUDACITY to call Kumi Koda a whore. First off, FUCK YOU. To call Kumi Koda slutty compared to BoA....is a valid argument. Yes, the dresses provocatively for a Japanese woman. Compared to her competition (who I would guess are like Namie Amuro, Hikaru Utada and Ayumi Hamasaki by my knowledge of Japanese music, which is still limited) who is rather racy and....yummy. But really think about it. Even in that Cutey Honey performance I had up a few weeks ago, she is STILL more dressed up than some of the trollops I have seen at the clubs in Denver and the Springs. Those who have been know what I mean. And have you seen high schoolers these days? I rest my case. With that being said, leave Kumi Koda alone. She may be a little suggestive (okay, I saw X.X.X. with Soulhead, maybe VERY suggestive) but she is more modest than most artists we have here, and she can actually sing and dance at the same time. That being said, my PV from the future Ms. Chachi, Butterfly.

DAMN. Three words: BY THE FIRE. You know, that kind of stuff never happened in the office I worked at. If it did, I might have tried harder to keep my job. Hot Asian ladies dancing with you is a very good perk for a workplace. If BoA grows up to be like Kumi Koda...dare I say it is on like championship Ping Pong. Mmmmm.

Oh, and I am trying to find out if she is still dating Se7en. He is a Korean singer that is (or was) dating BoA. I heard his name before, but I didnt know he was the enemy. Just saw the guy and....well...

O_o

Se7en....um...listen to me and listen good. I will quote Martin Luther King Jr for you. Ahem...

MICHAEL JACKSON IS NOT A GENRE OF MUSIC!!!

Not gonna lie, I like your music and have for about the last 5 months. However....if I have planned the punching in the face of Usher since 1997 for copying Jacko, what do you think I feel about this? You are copying Usher. Usher, man. The presentation is not original. Neither is anyone else's, but that's neither here nor there. You are dating my dream woman, and I want to make sure you are not an ubertool. I'm gonna help you out, Se7en. Your music is actually very good, but if your dance moves have been pilfered from any of the following asshats:

• Usher
• Ginuwine
• Justin Timberlake
• Chris Brown
• Omarion
• B2K (with or without the above)
• Houston (sorry to hear about the eye and the suicide. Get help and get better, man)
• Aaron Carter
• O-Town
• Backstreet Boys (Pre-I Want It That Way. Afterward, they weren't that bad)
• Farnsworth Bentley
• Diddy (If you take anything from him, I will find you and kick you in the nuts. Seriously)
• MC Hammer (U can't touch him, don't try to touch him)
• Britney Spears (Trust me on this one. Just don't)
• ANY video with the 'booty shake' or the 'shake your tailfeather' (This is more for BoA's sake than anything else. If I EVER see her do that dance, you both have lost a fan)

Then change them IMMEDIATELY. Please. Oh, and on another note, if you are trying to portray the 'Black' culture in the video, that is cool. But most normal Blacks don't drive Escalades and after what happened to Radio Rahiem in Do The Right Thing, we don't carry around jamboxes anymore. It's just ignorant. Aside from that, keep up the good work and treat Ms. Kwon right. You are a lucky man if it is still true. Break her heart, and you go on the list with Cashman, Eric Benet, Nick Cannon and Carson Daly of people who will feel the Wrath of Chachi, Jersey Style.

Now for the 'Ignorance Is Spreading' news of the day. The NFL Competition Committee (um...yeah what the fuck is that bullshit?) decided to put the clamp down on endzone celebrations. What is really amusing is that they tacked it on, much like they do in Congress, to other issues that are WAY MORE IMPORTANT like protecting the QB in the pocket so that what happened to Carson Palmer (against Pittsburgh, which tore all the major ligaments in his knee I honestly believe cost Cincy a Super Bowl run), Mike Vick (against Minnesota, which strained is MCL and cost him 3 full strength games and a playoff berth) and Brian Griese (which cost him his job in Tampa Bay) will be met with stiff fines. You know, on the touchdown celebration thing, its about freedom again. There shouldn't be LIMITS to freedoms (ahem, George Bush and his priceless fucking line), there should be conequences for actions. A penalty and a fine is alright by me if the NFL feels it effects 'sportsmanship.' Let's face it, if you feel it effects sportmanship, grow a set. I honestly believe that if you don't want them to dance, stop them from scoring. The NFL is intervening where they are not needed. Is it sporting to chop block? Is it sporting to horse-collar tackle? Focus on things that hurt bodies, not feelings. Another reason I am beginning to hate sports.

So I am going to head out for a spell. I'm telling you now, I have some things to say about that Natalee Holliway stupidity and the awesomeness that is Duke Lacrosse. I mean, who thought an almost all white lacrosse team (there is one black guy, but he's there for PR, I'm sure) raping a black escort (just asking for trouble with that job in that area) in a racially divided city would cause an uproar? Assholes. Either Friday or Saturday those will be up.

Tune in tomorrow, peeps. Until then.....you know what I say:

I'D HIT THAT! I'D HIT THAT! I'D HIT THAT!

Chachi Out.

Something new....

Well, now that Douchebrawl is over, I have begun the Darth Vader Battle and it is rather concrete. I am lost on a few, but for the most part, here is what I have. I have put it into 4 regions (Anime, Cartoons/Misc, Video Games and Comic Books) and I think I have a good mix so far. I haven't been back into anime for very long (3 years, and all the good stuff came out in 2000-2002) so I am searching for some more anime badasses. Aside from that, submitted for your approval:

Misc/Cartoons
1. Lo Pan (Big Trouble in Little China)
2. Megatron (Transformers)
3. Cobra Commander (GI Joe)
4. Skelator (He-Man)
5. Starscream (Transformers)
6. Destro (GI Joe)
7. Krang (TMNT)
8. Shredder (TMNT)
9. Negaduck (Darkwing Duck)
10. Leonardo Leonardo (Clerks: The Animated Series)
11. Mumm-Ra (Thundercats)
12. Gargamel (Smurfs)
13. Fat Cat (Chip and Dale's Rescure Rangers)
14. Boris & Natasha (Rocky and Bullwinkle)
15. Jenner (Secrets of NiHM)
16. Don Carnage (TailSpin)

Comics
1. Magneto (X-Men)
2. Lex Luthor (Superman)
4. Dr. Doom (Fantastic Four)
4. Joker (Batman)
5. Dark Pheonix (X-Men)
6. Ra's Al Ghul (Batman/JLA)
7. Miricale Man (Kid Miricaleman)
8. Venom (Spiderman)
9. Green Goblin (Spiderman)
10. Darkseid (JLA)
11. Oxymandius (Watchmen)
12. Cassandra Nova (X-Men)
13. Apacolypse (X-Men)
14. Hal Jordan/Pharallax (Green Lantern)
15. Maxwell Lord (Infininte Crisis/OMAC Project)
16. Red Skull (Captain America)

Video Games
1. Sepiroth (FF7)
2. Ninja/Grey Fox (Metal Gear Solid)
3. Bowser (Super Mario Bros.)
5. Gannon (Legend of Zelda)
6. Dracula (Castlevania)
4. M. Bison (Street Fighter 2)
7. Psycho Mantis (Metal Gear Solid)
8. Ares (God of War)
9. Dark Falz (Phantasy Star)
10. Mother Brain (Metroid)
11. Lavos (Chrono Trigger)
12. Dr. Wily (Mega Man)
14. Dr. Robotnik (Sonic)
13. Shao Khan (Mortal Kombat 2)
15. Cervantes (Soul Caliber/Soul Blade)
16. Shiro Tokisada Amakusa (Samurai Showdown)

Anime
Aizen (Bleach)
Kagato (Tenchi Muyo)
Gendo Ikari (Evangelion)
Queen Beryl (Sailor Moon)
Nakago (Fushigi Yuugi)
Dilandau Albatou (Visions of Escaflowne)
Alexander Anderson (Hellsing)
Vegeta (Dragon Ball Z)
Vicious (Cowboy Bebop)
Naraku (Inuyasha)
Count Magnus Leigh From Vampire hunter D
Legato (Trigun)
Shishio (Rurouni Kenshin)

Pretty good start, IMHO. Any additions will be taken into great consideration because I listen to the peeps. Especially in the anime region. The #1 seeds are set for the most part unless something glaring comes up, though.

So I know I bashed Kingdom Hearts 2 several times on this blog. Yet, I think I'm gonna knuckle up and get it. Yes, Beth I know that having Sepiroth on the same screen as Goofy is flat out wrong. but at the same time, I just saw it in action at Gamestop and...it looks rather good. Word of mouth from the people there (yes, not only am I friends with the comic book store peeps but the game store geeks, too) has been awesome for both import and domestic. Not only that, the soundtrack is rather kickass (mmm, Hikaru Utada) and it's got Stitch! STITCH. That's all I needed to hear. That and look at this:

My god...I am a tool for the EASquareEnixUberConglomaratti. And that song kicks ass. I will admit, seeing Mickey Mouse with a weapon is rather surreal. I can get past it, I hope.

Anyway, where's Ja? You know, everyone has negative things to say about Ja Rule but you know what? That man had a formula. He stuck to it and was arguably the biggest star in hip-hop AND R&B because he wrote songs for Mary J. Blige, J-Lo, Christina Milian and Ashanti. He was like Nelly mixed with Diddy mixed with R. Kelly. Those three names make me want to kick a drug-sniffing dog in the throat but in Ja, somehow it all made since and worked. When he rapped, he sucked. But when he growled/crooned/mumbled, it wasn't all that bad:

And for the few Black people that read, this remember one thing. 50 Cent's songs all sound like Ja Rule rehashes. After he spent over 2 years talking about how pop and 'unstreet' (thats not even a fucking word) Ja was, he releases 21 Questions, Magic Stick, Candy Shop, Disco Inferno, and Just A Little Bit. All with sung hooks and all pop staples. At least Ja knew what he was and looked like a cooler animal (Ja looks like an ottsel, compared to 50 who looks like a rejected stuntman from Congo and King Kong) to boot.

Speaking of black people....you have sunk to a new level of ignorance. Seriously. Yesterday during a phone interview, I peered over at the TV (which had the sound off) and saw a commerical on BET. First off, I was pissed I left the TV on BET, but I couldn't find the remote so I just let it slide. However, after peering at the screen, I saw a commercial for College Hill which I guess is BET's version of the Real World. You know, after the Viacom buyout, it's hard to tell where MTV ends and BET begins. Anyway, all I could make out was that two females were having an argument, which isn't hard to imagane because women hate eachother. The episode looked to be based on one of these females being 'bousigie' and the other being 'hood'. How do I know? Because on the screen it said 'Bouisgie vs. Hood' so I'm sure that's a correct assuption.

So, back to my point: is that still the case? If a black person uses complete sentences and doesn't begin each joke with 'Women be shoppin!' they are uppity? I really thought we were past that, but it is obvious that either we are not or Viacom is not. I honestly think BOTH, but what do I know I'm a fucking uppity negro. You know, seeing as I have had my blackness question by a Korean, a Mexican and a mulatto (is that what they are called now?) I believe that maybe the problem is with me. When other race are wondering if I'm keeping it real, maybe I'm not. Guess I should change my name to Duece Stacks and yell 'Countin' these rocks, BEE-ATCH!' and 'ERY BODY IN THE CLUB GET TIPSY!' all the time. Nah, at least some people agree with me. The sad part is that as much as I am jaded and irritated by my own race, white people are even worse. After the Albertson's incident where some dude mistook me for a fucking cart pusher because I was helping an older woman (who happened to be white and actually said 'What the hell is his problem?' That was PRICELESS) with her cart, ya'll are on ground zero with me as well.

The point of that bitch session? Love black people, love white people. Even love 'niggas' and 'rednecks'. I HATE ignorance. And that, peeps is what's spreading.

One of the few times Chris Rock was funny. This and Pootie Tang.

Man, I need something to calm me down. Oh, so FHM (does anyone even still READ those magazines anymore?) had their 100 Sexiest Women and no suprise in Scarlett Johansson topping the list.

I honestly would have figured that Angelina Jolie would have been it, but once you let Brad Pitt hit it, you officially become unattainable, I guess. Scarlett said the nay-no to manogomy, so we all have a shot. Hell, Bencio Del Toro hit it and he looks like a drunken Armenian porn-peddler that hasn't bathed since the wall fell. I guess getting felt up does wonders for your career. Ask Paula Jones. ZING!

So I guess the love affair with Jessica Alba is still going.

In a way, I figured she would go the way of Lindsay Lohan once people found out she couldnt act. Yet, she's number three on this bullshit list (WHERE IN THE HELL IS SHAKIRA?!) and I guess is making movies. Jenny McCarthy is on there, and the last thing of importance she ever did was shut the hell up and make a baby so that's not saying much. All that being said, Jessica is still saucy, but neither her or Scarlett are Jackie Guerrido.

Hmmmm. That's all I got, peeps. Check out the Shadow the Hedgehog remix of Tripod baby while I watch that again.

Oh, you're back....um...need more time....dammit.

So, I got my Heartsdales Ultra Foxy CD yesterday and it's a lot better than the last one. Less weird rapping and more 80's pop/breakbeat/house music. It's a different feel, or maybe the same because I only have one other one and the songs I downloaded to base my theory off of. Anyway, I likes it a lot even though it ain't up there with M-Flo's or Bennie K's last albums. Or look as good as the now legal BoA (creepy old dude on Family Guy moan).

They still had the fox tails on in the cd liner and that is good stuff. No mingers wearing tails and ears!

Whoa, that was a long ass post. Why, you ask? Tomorrow, the update may be 3 sentences long. I will drop some stuff on you after I see Thank You For Smoking. Until then, feel free to send suggestions for the Darth Vader competition. Stay up peeps.

Chachi out.

The time has come....

It is over. After a battle for the ages, the biggest douche in the world is left standing alone. We laughed. We cried. We ate applesauce and laughed some more. Then we were sleepy. There were upsets and close calls. In the end, there could only be one winner of Douchebrawl 2006. And while it may not be a surprise, it is still an honor. So peeps, I give you the final results of Douchebrawl 2006.......

Douchebrawl 2006 Championship

(1) Tom Cruise - 92.86%
(11) Heather Graham - 7.14%

So the winner of the First Annual Andy Dick Douchebrawl is....

TOM CRUISE!!!

Yes, it is official. We all thought it, now it is agreed upon. Tom, you are the biggest douche in the WORLD. Turning Chef against us was one thing. Impregnating Katie Holmes with the sperm of the Dawson is one thing. But destroying the property of Oprah Winfrey is grounds for douche history. With all the crazy ass stuff you have done, all the off-the-wall things you have said and all the insane actions you have done, this is the culmination of all that. We the peeps salute you. Your trophy will be arriving to you shortly Mr. Cruise. Also, congratulations to Ms. Heather Graham. I myself had nothing against you personally. However, the overwhelming response to your doucheitude with such a small (yet shitty) body of work is remarkable. You have earned your spot in history and in next years Douchebrawl.

I will have the final brackets up shortly. Also, I am finalizing the brackets for the next Chachi Exclusive, the DARTH VADER BADASS BATTLE OF VILLAINY (The Tick would dig that name). I will have them up today or tomorrow, and just like before, I will take suggestions into consideration. Some considerations for the last battle include Jack Thompson, Heather Graham and hayden Christensen, all did well in the Douchebrawl. Keep them coming , peeps!

So as my saturation of my blog of M-Flo hits full swing, here is the PV of Come Again. I had the live version on here yesterday from Dope Space Nine and the video is kind of 'meh' but it's still cool. Hella old too, I think its from 1999 or 2000.

Catchy little tune. Although Lisa's voice is kind of hit or miss (some people love it, some people hate it kind of like Shakira or Lauryn Hill) I think it's rather unique for what she sings. It's hard to mesh that voice with Taku's beats and Verbal's Pharrell-esqe rapping. I can see the 'creative differences' that caused the split.

So, this week is T.I's week. His album King comes out tomorrow and his movie 'ATL' comes out on Friday or Wednesday, depending on who you listen to. Well, Wednesday is out because I will be catching Thank You For Smoking in Denver. I will let you know how it is on Thursday. And on Friday a little movie called Ice Age 2 comes out so there will be no ATL on that day. Well, I am sure that movie is gonna be average. As for his album, I 'found' it on the internet and it was average as well. Most of it was your standard rap fare, although his lyrical skill has jumped leaps and bounds over I'm Serious and Trap Muzik. Not gonna convert any listeners views of rap like Be from Common or bring anything new to the table like Little Brothers' Minstrel Show. However, if you are down for more of the same (which I sure as hell aint) this album doesnt disappoint.

I saw this earlier this week on VGCats or Ctrl-Alt-Del or something but WOW. God of War 2, I am now your bitch.

Man, that bird is gonna be PISSED. Well, I am out for now. Got some stuff to do. Stay up, peeps.

Chachi out.

Down to the wire.

Hey peeps. Happy Lazy Sunday to all of you. Well, Rha's birthday party was okay. Teq got stuck working the grill and kids were bad. All in all, a standard party. I also was told I wasn't in touch with my roots by an ASIAN (yeah, that is fucked up) and that I'm rather domesticated. Well, I can't stand ignorance and I people who can't clean up after themselves piss me off. If that makes me not down with the crew and borderline gay then sign me the fuck up. Ignorance, it's STILL spreading and faster than usual.

On a sad note Paul Dana, a 30 year old Indy car driver died this morning at around 10am mountain time from injuries in a collision on a practice lap.I saw the wreck earlier and....wow. That is tragic. I know I rant about how much I dont like NASCAR, but I dig Formula 1, Indy Car and Le Mans. It has always freaked me out how the cars can be so dangerous, faster than NASCAR cars (which are more like tanks with restrictor plates) and yet have the actual tracks that require more than left turns in a lot of races. No smart ass remarks, no insults on the dangers of racing. Just a sending of condolences to his family, friends and teammates.

On to some special news. Who in the bloody fuck still says 'coon'? You know, in context with the sentance, I can understand a slip up. She would be a 'coup' for the NFL as the next commissioner. But COON?! Wow, that is fucking special. I haven't heard anyone say coon but Dave Chappelle (as Clayton Bigsby) and on Reno 911 ('in a coon's age' was hilarious) and even then it was kind of a what the hell did he just say moment. This dude said it twice, which was priceless. I have never even said RACOON, and I played Pocky and Rocky. I'm not a fan of him losing his job because there have been noted racists everywhere in all walks of life that have gone unknown and unpunished. At least he caught it and apologized. Anyone remember the 'Tsunami Song' on Hot 97? Exactly, this will blow over because quite simply, Americans don't care about racism because we all have prejudices and biases. People are two-faced by nature. It's all about your audience. Rush Limbaugh and Al Sharpton have lived off that shit for decades.

Anyway, enough on that. Time to get to the REAL sad news of the week. You know, I sit back and go after R. Kelly like the rest of them, but this is just sad. This is different. This is family. I am officially declaring it over. The whole R. Kelly saga is over. I think we should just let him go, and everyone should drop all the charges. You want to know why? HE WILL JUST DO IT AGAIN! Then he can be taken down. Because it WILL happen. The the King of R&Pee will then be dethroned. Although it still could be Avant.

So I was watching ESPN late last night when I got home and there was a recap of womens college basketball on. On the screen was the suprisingly lovely Stacey Dales-Schuman. I must say, she is quite a pretty lady:


Alas, she is taken. And to that I say *sigh*. It's rough being the Chachi. No es bueno. That and she is not the prototype of what I dig. But there is something about a pretty lady that understands the beauty of a high post screen and shoot that makes me smitten.

As a matter of fact, my admiring of Stacey is a pretty good segue into this. Ya'll know I digs M-Flo. I am debating on getting the Dope Space Nine Live DVD because I am sure it won't work on my DVD (and I am trying to avoid another Advent Children fiasco were my DVD player went on the fritz for about a week after I tried to play the import on it) . Even though, I have seen most of it on YouTube and Limewire and it rules, so it's a justified purchase. Well, this is the reunion of the original M-Flo team (LISA, DJ Taku and VERBAL) and dare I say, I still love this song.

Man, I was listening to that yesterday when someone asked me what language they were speaking. So I switched cds rather than take the time out to explain. Anyway, I am STILL looking for the live version of Tripod Baby (which would completely justify the purchase of the DVD). I am looking for it now (and odds are once I get my first paycheck I will purchase the DVD and a region free DVD player) and will post it once I find it. Until then, this is the original video, not the one from Shadow the Hedgehog which also was pretty good.

Good stuff. Well, I am gonna watch the end of this George Mason/UConn game. It is GOOD. Stay up, peeps.

Chachi out.

And today is the last day to vote for Douchebrawl! Don't forget if you havent!

Back For The First Time

Hey there, peeps! End on another week, and man it feels good. Been a busy week for me so I am kind of glad its over. So, how are my seven readers? Welcome back, and to the new people....yeah prepare to be dumbfounded by my randomness.

First off, it's time for the NCAA wrap up. I want to say that I am not a spiteful person when this line is said. I was rather relieved when Duke lost to LSU on Thursday. First reason is that I picked that upset in my ESPN bracket. Second is that I got REALLY sick about hearing about how good JJ Reddick is when he hasn't accomplished anything when it counts. I am not an athlete and I am willing to admit that. But the fact that everyone is all over this guy and not Adam Morrison (who is a different case because he really doesn't have an all-star cast to back him up. That and I dig the porn star stache) kind of pissed me off. He does one thing well: shoot threes. He's not athletic, he doesn't run the court well and he is too short/small to be a real threat. LSU put a freshman (albeit a badass freshman) on him and he was SHUT DOWN. In crunch time, real players come up big for their team, even when they are double teamed. See UConn, Texas and UCLA for that. I'm not a fan of JJ, but I hope he succeeds in the NBA and I do feel backed that his career ended the way it did.

That being said, big ups to UCLA. I saw that game and had them DEAD and then they went on that 11-0 run at the end and that AWESOME last 8.6 seconds with the steal and pass was just...wow. I don't care if you hate the fuck out of college basketball, if you couldn't feel for Adam Morrison when that game ended than you are a bitch. Game or not, that was passion. And the UCLA players that took time out of their moment to help him up and console him showed class like gangbusters. Best game I have seen so far this year, and best since that Oklahoma State/Georgia Tech Final Four game in 2004. All in all, this has been a great tournament and aside from Boston College my bracket is looking okay (I had to change to Texas, UConn, UCLA and Boston College when the brackets got all jacked up).

So, I went to see The Inside Man last night and I thought it was great. It was about 5 minutes too long, but aside from that it was a exciting movie. And Clive Owen is my new favorite actor. Even Jodie Foster was okay. Not once did I want to punch her in the babymaker. Even more shocking is that it was a SPIKE LEE JOINT. It had video games, Albanians, Arab jokes and big tay-tays. You cannot beat that combination. So I can honestly recommend this film. ICE AGE 2 ON FRIDAY, FOOLS! BE THERE!

Now it's time for something special. I was talking about video games with Zach and Griff (one on the phone, one online) and I mentioned that Quistis from Final Fantasy 8 was quite the hot for a video game character. At least up there with any other female (mmmm, Advent Children Tifa). Yet he mentioned that 'No one played/liked Final Fantasy VIII. That kind of pissed me off because I liked FF8 just as much if not MORE than FF7 or FFX (FFX-2 is kind of my fave and those that know me know why). So now it is time for a segment that I call:

They Got A Raw Deal: Final Fantasy VIII

Now I know there were a few issues with this game.

The Minigame: The card game was rather pointless (and fucking impossible to win in the beginning) and the story in the middle was forced. However, let's not forget about tha Golden Saucer in FFVII (which after getting the weapons and Omnislash was POINTLESS) and Blitzball in FFX (just STUPID). It is a staple to have a minigame in the FF series, and quite simply they are ALL hit or miss (some like, some don't). Besides, the great part about a minigame is that you can skip it completely. Hell, you didn't even NEED the Omnislash in FFVII because I guess Cloud was holding out on us (people that beat the game know what I mean). Two words: fucking sandbagger.

The Story: Yeah, the story was awkward for someone not familiar with the FF lineage. It was SUPPOSED to be two stories in one (Squall's and Laguna's) but due to the linear nature of the game, I think it didn't mesh very well. So it made the game seem disjointed. However, lets get real here. Except for FFIII (the god of all games that I JUST got to get into because I had a Sega Genesis) ALL the stories have been all over the damn place. Think about it, FFVII had such an all over the place story they had to make 3 more games and TWO MOVIES just to give a small sense of understanding it. And don't even get me started on FFX/FFX-2. Quite simply, all the games had their story issues.

The Lead-up: Well, this is more about planning than anything else. First off, FFVII was a modest hit. Seriously, it sold a few copies. Like 10 FUCKING MILLION WORLDWIDE. Look at this list

• Biggest selling RPG game of all time (any console)
• 2nd biggest selling PS game of all time (Gran Tourimo is #1 by about 1.01 million, and don't forget it was a bundle title for a while at Christmas and that goes into 'sales' numbers)
• 9th biggest selling video game of all time, on any console.

Let's just say that it's a hard pedigree to follow. The expectations were HELLA high for this game, but oddly enough, the hype was small in America. FFVII commercials were everywhere on TV and in video game magazines. And they didn't even have in game footage, just the cutscenes and stills. I was shocked to see SD characters running around, weren't you? The game was highly regarded, but poorly advertised (at least IMHO) and that led to a drop off in sales. That and it went head to head with the Dreamcast and OUTSOLD A LAUNCH SYSTEM. Even still, it wasn't enough to equal FFVII's popularity. It was kind of like following Empire Strikes Back. You have to, but no matter how good it is, you really can't top that (will FFIII being Star Wars)

Well, in retrospect, the game is highly rated. Even better than its predecessors in some views. I for a fact know that some people not only didn't finish the game (and missed maybe the second longest interactive ending EVER beside MGS3) they didn't even PLAY it. That's a shame, because it is one of the most beautiful PS1 games and aside from FFX, the best looking game in the Final Fantasy series. Let's not forget about the dance number:

Mmmmm, Rinoa. Only bad thing about this game was the Ultima weapon, or as I called it the 'Sodomizer' because that thing GAVE ME THE BUSINESS. The Summon style was interesting, with them actually coming into battle and taking damage. The boss battle at the end was suprisingly easy (but aside from Sin in FFX, all the boss battles in the series are underwhelming) but aside from that, this game rocked. If you are a FF fan and havent played this game, pick it up. this game got a bad rep and it isnt deserved.

So I have decided on the next time killer will not be the sexiest animated male/female. Instead, it will be the greatest villian ever! Sexiest battles will odds are take place in June/July at the same time because Summertime is a time that I can get the most traffic. However, the villany will start (hopefully) on Monday or Tuesday. And yes, Sepiroth and Cobra Commander WILL be in it. Get ready peeps, the First Annual Darth Vader Badass Competition will soon begin in all it's villiany!

Well, I gotta run to Rhaven's birthday party. Happy Birthday, Ray! And if you are reading this, Teq that is so horrible parenting because no one under the age of 13 should be reading this thing. Well, before I go something for the male demographic. Big ups to Zach for letting me know who this was and what she looked like because....nyaaaaw yeah. I'm sure it was on MTV 'You Hear It First' but I usually blow MTV off unless Ashley Angel Parker is on. Fuck you, I dug O-Town. Here is Deeyah:

As squirrels would say: I'D HIT THAT! I'D HIT THAT! I'D HIT THAT! I'D HIT THAT! And to Muslims: covering that up ain't cool. That's good stuff right there. Religion or not, too many mingers DON'T cover up. Let the fit womenz show their goodness. I know that goes against my women should cover up theory, but I am lonely. Stay up, peeps. Chachi out.

Wow, it IS a fruity little club.

Man, who saw the season premiere of South Park last night? You know, I was beginning to think that South Park had grown stale. Now that they have a nemesis in Tom Cruise and his fruity little club, maybe they can go back to season 7 caliber shows. Speaking of last nights episode.....whoa. I didn't think pedophilia could be humorous until last night. Sex with children = funny. The Catholics knew it, R. Kelly knew it, now we know it. That may have been the funniest episode of South Park since the 'Fun With Weapons' episode.

I thought it was actually kind of cool that for the first time in a while, Matt and Trey didn't go all out and rip on someone. They didn't blame Chef (Issac Hayes) for leaving the show, they blamed the Super Adventure Club (Scientology) for frying his brain. In order to believe the story of Xemu, your brain would have to be fried or in a constant state of inebriation. Good job taking on Scientology, guys. Along with every other religion. That being said, I'm gonna miss you guys because Tom Cruise is SO gonna sue you in England again.

So, I am rather pissed that no theater outside of the hellhole that is New York City is playing Thank You For Smoking. I have heard great stuff about it, and I am all about smoking anyway. As a heavy dude, I make no excuses for my weight and don't need warning labels on food. I know that Chic-Fil-A is deadly (but oh so tasty), so how come we need warnings on cigarettes? If you honestly need a warning label on something that YOU BURN AND INHALE TO USE than you my friend are a goddamned idiot. Both of my parents smoked and I have a good friend that smoked and I don't THINK (gotta ask and make sure) that they blame 'big tobacco' for their smoking. Like my mom said, 'Boy, I smoke because you break shit.'

A simpler way I look at it is this: you come out of the womb and it is a reaction of your body to need nourishment. How you acquire it and what you eat are the issue. No baby cries because they are having a fucking nic-fit. If they do, then wow that is bloody awesome. Simply, smoking is a choice. Yes, people bitch about second hand smoke being forced on them but people will take medicines that cause nasal bleeding and loss of bowel and bladder control. Ignorance, it is spreading. Besides, aren't smokers forced to go outside in BFE anyway? Quit your bitching, non-smokers. The Revolution is with you, smokers!

Anyway, I got two tickets for the free showing of Thank You for Smoking in Denver on March 29th. Here is the link. Seats are limited and except for Tom Cruise's baby hole being in it, the movie should rule.

So, I may have just seen the worst movie ever made. I just found the live action movie version of the old school anime Cutey Honey and.....all I can say is

O_o

It was ALL THE WAY BAD. Not gonna lie, the woman that played Honey wasn't too shabby and Nat-chan had a 'saucy librarian' touch to her. Aside from that, it was like a Power Ranger movie minus the giant robots. That is NOT a good thing, peeps. It's odd because Go Nagai (I think of him like the Anime version of Stan Lee, a god among men. The dude did Manzinger and Devilman) I also picked up Re: Cutey Honey, which I was a series of OVA's that followed after the first one ended in 1974 I think.

Three episodes of ecchi and nonsense. Best thing about this is that Kumi Koda sings the remakes opening and closing themes. And I loves me some Kumi Koda. You know that groan that the old man does when he thinks about Chris on Family Guy? I do that when I think of Kumi Koda. I got some popsicles in my basement....I prefer the original:

Old school, fool! Even though the 70's gave us such crap as the DiFranco's and Fat Elvis you gotta admit that that was pretty bad ass. Well, I got some things to attend to. I have an idea for tomorrow's post. Until then, stay up peeps.

Chachi Flash!

Update: Okay, maybe this movie isnt as bad as I thought. Singing in a movie is a definite upgrade and Natsuko has grown on me. And Go Nagai and Kumi Koda make cameos, fool!

I seem to have misplaced my pants.

First off, those of you that drink tequila: you suck. Second off, what is with the lime and salt crap? The burn isn't all that bad. Yesterday, I went around the town for a birthday party and had a 'few' drinks for his birthday. A few being double digits, I think. Seeing as aside from some sake a week ago I had not drank since December (not gonna lie, the last day at the Pack I was LOADED) it was a shock to go all out. No effects that night, and no hangover. All in all, a good sign. But drinking is bad so never again.

So, what is up peeps? Not much here. Not sure why it is still snowing but I guess I have to come to grips with the fact that mother nature is a bitch. There isn't really much on the news front so far, and I'm not bummed out like I was yesterday (those who know me know why) so there won't be a rant unless something hits me in the next 5 minutes. However, I did read about Microsoft Vista and it's delays. Well DUUUUUUUUUH. The last time Microsoft rushed out an operating system was Millenium Edition. And those of you that have it on your computer right now odds are are locked up. The only thing it can do is go uphill from here.

Man, I am SO close to modding my PS2 so I can play Dirge of Cerberus because it looks BAD ASS. Yet, the reviews from the Japanese gamers has been lackluster. Hmm...decisions. Also, just got confimation of the shipment of the new Heartsdales album. You know, YesAsia has some awkward ass pricing. Some cds are 30 bucks, some are 10. For the SAME CD. My copy of Bennie K (which was stolen a while back, so someone is getting down to Puppy Love and dare I say I'm still pissed) was a Korean version and I paid 11 bucks for it. Played fine, but when I went to buy a new copy it was $27.99 and to that I say the nay-no. Love j-pop music, hate j-pop prices. Speaking of the Heartsdales, if anyone knows what CD this song is on, let me know. It wasn't on M-Flo's or any Heartsdales songs I have.

That song reminds me of Morris Day and the Time. Matter of fact, time to kick it. 80's Jersey style.

Too bad Prince stole a lot of Morris Day's thunder. Morris and Jerome would have been a kick-ass reality show. Why in the hell haven't I ponied up the cash for the Clerks cartoon series? That show kicked ass! All...two episodes. Now take off your shirt.

Man, I may have to run and grab that. Well, I got some crap to do today. Stay up peeps, I may drop some knowledge on ya'll later in one of my few double dips. Until then, its time to outsouce the last few lines to Korean writes and animators. Until next time...

BIG AMERICAN PARTY!

CHACHI SAY YOU CAN'T HANDLE TRUTH! SHOW ME THE MONEY!

CHACHI BYE BYE!!

Viva la revolution, fools!

Time to get political. First off, this Penny Arcade comic pretty much sums it up. You know, as a gamer I am really against legislation and banning of games targeted for adults. I believe the job falls on the retailers and the parents to police what their children play. I'm sorry as but hard as being a parent is, parents need to understand that monitoring your children is YOUR job. Not the government, not Best Buy, and sure as hell not Rockstar. Stopping Rockstar from making games with violence isn't going to make children any less violent. It's just censorship, people. Besides, most violent video games are rarely purchased anyway due to quality. For every Grand Theft Auto, there is a 187: Ride or Die. Any kid that will buy attempt to buy a game solely because it has violence is not being parented or not that intelligent. To paraphrase Ron White, there is no fix for stupid.

Secondly, over the last two years I have purchased 11 games with MA ratings:

MGS3
Halo 2
Black
God of War
Resident Evil 4 (twice, one for GC and one for PS2)
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
MGS3: SE
Dead or Alive:SE
Gun
Rumble Roses O_o (Yeah, I bought it. And I am ashamed)

You know how many times I have been asked for my ID? Nine. Seriously. The only two times I wasn't asked was for MGS3: because it was a trade in for Gun (and I know the guy at GameStop) and Rumble Roses (probably because I disgusted the cashier and she wanted me out of her sight). So it was actually 10 out of 11. Those are great odds. So I can personally run under the assumption that retailers are asking for ID when games for players over the age of 17 are being purchased. With that being said, someone is buying these games for the children that politicians and game activists are trying to 'save'. So why isn't the issue with them? Because I am going to assume that the majority of parents actually buy these games for their children and don't really investigate what the games are about. Here is a REAL dialogue between a kid and their mother when I went to GameStop to get MGS3 on Sunday:

Kid (I am going to gauge about 11 because he had a Naruto shirt on): Oh! Mom, can I get this game?
Mother: Um...can your sister play it?
Kid: Yeah, it's co-op or multi-player!
Mother: What is co-op?
Kid: Um...
Me: 'Cooperatve Play' is the easiest way to look at it.
Kid: Yeah! We can play at the same time! Right?
Me: Yep.
Mom: Oh, okay. (At this point, a girl I will put at about 6 years old runs to her with a Animal Crossing: Wild World game for the DS)
Girl: I want this one. It looks cute.
Mother: Okay. In a second. (At this point I am having a discussion about Shadow Hearts vs. Grandia III with the clerk) Son, which game did you want?
Kid: 25 to Life, mom! (The clerk and I stop our conversation, make eye contact, and look toward the mother)
Mother: X-Box or Playstation 2? (At this point, I do the indignant hands on my hips pose like my mother did when I asked her a stupid question)
Kid: Playstation 2, mom!
Mother: Ok. (To the clerk) Let me get 25 to Life and this Animal Cross thingie. (At this point I had the gut check of whether or not to say something. I decided to give her the whatfor)
Me: Um...I don't think that game is appropriate for an 11 and 8 year old.
Girl: I'm six. (awkward pause) You like Animal Crossing?
Me: Yeah, I had it for the Gamecube. I liked it.
Girl: Wow! Thanks! (She flips through the strategy guides)
Me: Miss....say the title.
Mother: What?
Me: The title of the game. Say it again.
Mother: What, you mean '25 to Life'? (I look at her)
Me: 25 TO LIFE? (She looks at me like I'm nuts) Look at the box.
Mother: (Looking at the box) Whoa...does this M mean Mature?
Me: Yes. It's rather violent. And the game itself isn't very good. (I finish my purchase)
Mother: Oh...okay. (At this point I leave)

Now this is not a dramatization. The events were real. Needless to say, based of this discussion, I am willing to wager that this is the usual situation in how kids get violent video games. Parents purchasing them without looking at them. I know a lot of you out there will say that is not the case with MY KIDS, but guess what? You are the exception. The majority of parents do NOT pay attention to what their kids play and buy it to keep them happy and/or distracted.

It's funny to me, because I grew up during the videogame firestorm in the 90's and I had my share of violent games. You know what? I never killed anyone. I never played Doom and decided to go on a killing spree. I never played Mortal Kombat and wanted to rip someone's heart out. You know why? Because I knew my parents would do the same to me if I even thought about it. My parents didnt monitor me like a reality show. Yet, I never did anything out of the ordinary because of video games. Now I would scream 'HADOKEN' and make the fireball motion, but I knew that I couldnt ACTUALLY TOSS FIREBALLS. I played the majority of first person shooters on my computer, but at no point did I ever get a weapon and go Duke Nukem on bystanders because it is kinda wrong to kill people. Just a little.

Censoring or stopping controversial games from being produced isnt going to solve the problem. Education, safety and monitoring will. Besides, who decides what is controversial? Mario Bros. had mushroom and flowers that gave you magic powers and ducks in turtle shells. Is that REALLY controversial? God of War had naked women and violence. It is documented that the Greek gods were a violent bunch. Is being historically accurate controversial? Like I said, educate kids on what is going on in the games and if you believe they can't handle it THEN keep them from it. I find it awkward how parents don't want strangers to tell them they are being a bad parent, but by the government censoring what you feel isnt worth your time to monitor is okay. By doing that, you are saying that you can't do your job as a parent. Ignorance, it's spreading peeps.

Anyway, enough on that.

So....the end of the world has come to pass. It will be in August, and it will be the instance this movie begins:

Yep....the apocalypse is upon us. Thanks, Tecmo. You know, the fact we have seen Street Fighter, Tomb Raider. Bloodrayne, Mortal Kombat and now DOA as movies and STILL no Metal gear Solid is kind of stupid. That would be a great movie and has yet to be greenlit but Stay Alive gets made. SAD. What could be worse than a DOA movie with Devon Aoki and Jamie Priessly? Adding Tara Reid. Now THAT would have been the worst movie EVER. You know, adding Michelle Rodriguez would have helped. I know she's not a great actress, but she is like Keanu, don't give her a lot of lines and she can shine. With video game movies and how bad they are, the less dialog the better. She's not too shabby, either:

Man, I had no idea she was rocking it like that. Speaking of Michelle Rodriguez vehicles....

Who thought a movie franchise with the 'acting talents' of Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese, Ludacris and Devon Aoki (man, she is the queen of bad roles) could go downhill? Man, if Japan just decided to unleash the hell of giant robots and ninjas on them I could not blame them. We will have deserved it after that shitfest.

The only thing that can make me feel better? Verbal and Tako, fool!

M-Flo in the hizzy, and don't you forgizzy. Well, that is all for now. I gots some stuff to do. Ya'll stay up and don't forget to vote in the finals of Douchebrawl 2006! I have come up with the decision of leaving up the poll until NEXT Monday! Gives two full extra days to tell your friends! Well, stay up peeps.

Chachi out.

Go Cuba, it's yo birfday! Go Japan, it's yo birfday!

First off, congratulations to Cuba and Japan for making the World Baseball Classic Finals. Not gonna lie, I only watched (well, listened to while I cleaned out the garage for the most part) one game and its was okay. More exciting than the usual baseball game. I really want to see Cuba win, just because Cuba is a HUGE underdog in this bad boy. Cuban pride, fool!

So, time for the big laugh of the day: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Balmer, you are a funny dude. As a famous animated squirrel once said, 'squirrel please!' I am willing to guarantee that the number of PS3 preorders will outsell the TOTAL NUMBER of Xbox 360's sold by January 1st, 2007. Mark that statement down, because I am standing by it. If I am wrong, I will get each of my peeps a Coke. Sony, you know you can do it.

You know it's kind of a shame that Microsoft botched the launch of the 360 so bad. I mean the numbers are good, but imagine what they would have been if they had been able to meet demand and had better games? Not a lot, just a few. I was looking forward to a good old fashioned console war. Remember that, peeps? I remember defending the Sega Genesis to against Griff and his Nintendo loving ass for years. Even the PS1/Saturn/N64 battle was fun to be around (two words: Panzer Dragoon) for a while. Let's also not forget the awesomely underrated Dreamcast against the powerhouse PS2. Those days are over. It was a good run, video game fans. Strong Chachi.....strong Chachi....I need a moment....

Let's remember...the good times. Remember this intro? Soul Blade blew my mind back in the day. Almost married my Playstation. Wouldn't have worked out.

Man, think I'm gonna cry. On to a game that no one played but still kicked the ass. Anyone remember Space Channel 5 for the Dreamcast? I rented it and downloaded the mod (that didnt WORK) and it was pretty bad ass. They made one for the PS2, it wasnt as good, though. Check it out.

What in the hell? Free HBO? Kick ass! So, Pretty In Pink is great for nostalgia, but the acting was kind of bad. And Ducky was a punk BITCH. Not gonna lie, still love the movie.

So, it's the first day of spring today....and it is 19 nipple hardening degrees outside. Congratulations, Mother Nature. Your ass is on the list. Eh, thems the breaks. At least I get to bond with the pets. It's fun watching the cat find a new warm up spot when its cold now that I have a flat panel monitor.

So, lastly I have a confession. I have come to like the PSP Squirrels. I'm sorry, and I am ashamed. The dustballs aren't as funny (actually, they are kind of offensive) but the squirrels are....wow.

Well, I'm cold so I'm gonna get some tea and chill. I'll see ya'll tomorrow. Until then, for the male demographic here is Maria Menudos.

All I can say is: I'D HIT THAT! I'D HIT THAT! I'D HIT THAT! I'D HIT DAT!

Chachi out.

Global warming my ASS.

Holy crap, that snow came quick! I had a few errands to run at the Outlet Mall but WHOA, that was a hell of a drive. Anyway, what is up peeps? Ya'll doing cool? Those of us in Colorado better bundle up, because God is WAY pissed off at the state again. Not sure what happened this time, but we are gonna get our asses whooped on by the snow till about Tuesday. Stay safe.

Now onto the good stuff. So Teq had another show last night at the Black Sheep here in the CSP and I must say, I am really getting tired of your ass going on at like 12:45 to 1am. Even still, great show, kid. Two new songs (albeit they weren't as good as the ones they replaced) and a great production made for a good time. And no drunkies, they ruin the fun. However, it wasn't all love.

You know, there are just some things that I can't ignore. I try to let some of the crappy fashion trends slide but.....my GOD what in the hell man?! It's time for....

Chachi's Fashion Do's and Dont's

Okay, lets get fabolous!

DO: Wear belts

A simple fashion accessory that is fucntional as well. They hold up your pants. And, sometimes they can add to an ensamble. Now ladies, I understand that sometimes your pants are so tight that hey grip your butt enough that you don't need one.

Notice how Ms. Vergara has no belt, but those pants arent going anywhere. Oh, hells yes. I have no fashion complaints there at all. But sometimes a belt can SO add to the look.

Notice that Vida's belt is on BACKWARDS. And even though the belt isnt as needed, it adds to the overall outfit. It's practical yet sexy. Even as a fashion statement, belts are quite nice.

DON'T: Have sexually provacative shirts.

This one is another case of common since. Now, I understand that people have the right to wear what they please. But if you feel that this is a fashion statement and accuratly represents you:

Then you deserve ridicule. I'm sorry, its not sexty and for the most part not fashionable. 'Porn Star' and 'Slut' arent fashion trends, they are occupations. What Dave Chappelle about wearing a whores uniform is correct. Please don't wear the name tag, too. It's just plain tacky.

DO: Dress shirts

This one is for the men, especially black men. Seeing as how white dudes are trying to corner the hobo market, it's nice to see a new fashion trend. A lot of men at the club put the jerseys away for sporting events in favor of pressed button up shirts and oullovers. It is fashionable and can be worn in a casual or semi-formal setting.

See, you can be hip in a dress shirt. Combined with a pair of clean sneakers and jeans its not a bad look. And odds are won't get you hassled by the police, who love to fuck with thugs because they are easy to point out.

DONT: Non-cowboys with big ass belt buckles

O_o

Not sure when this cam into fashion. All I know is that only rodeo dudes and cowboys need to wear huge belt buckles. THAT IS IT. Think Nelly and Usher and how stupid they look. Now put you in their shoes and take away the celebrity aspect. There you go.

Well, that is all for Chachi's Fashion Do's and Dont's. I will do them as needed. Until then, stay fab!

Anyway, time for some more good watching. Well, it's been a while since I had some Bennie K on here. Mainly because their body of work is two albums and I think 7 maxi singles. So not a lot of videos to find, but I just posted another one. It's featuring Def Tech, who actually aren't bad themselves. This is one of my favorite Bennie K songs, Better Days.

Yeah, I loves me some Bennie K I'll admit it. So in more pointless stuff, what do you get when you cross dogs with afros? Some funny stuff.

Aaaaaaand now the sun is out. Weather people should be beaten with thermometers. Except for Jackie Guerrido from Univision. I usually watch Caliente (for the new dance moves....yeah...) and Sabodo Gigante sometimes, but never the WEATHER. Now I will:

Forcast for today? A loving warm front followed by dinner and a movie. Oh yeah. Well, I am bored as hell so I am out. Stay up peeps and don't forget to vote for Douchebrawl! It's the final matchup, so its for all the marbles! Instead of for like 3 or 4 of them I guess. Also, I updated the website. Take a look, there is a new design and I have categorized the music. I fixed the Douchebrawl link as well. Check it out, it's coming along pretty well. Anyway, stay up peeps.

Chachi out.