- Jim Jones & Ron Browz's Pop Champagne song (What in the fuck?! Nigga, you suck ass! Not Jim Jones, he's kind of cool. Roger Troutman is rolling over in his fucking grave right now!)
- Beyonce's....any-fucking-thing. (Especially "Diva" because a diva is as much a female version of a hustler and kike is a term of endearment for Jews. I fucking went there. Using words in a new context is fine as long as you aren't a dumb bitch about it)
- Anything having to do with the Joe Buddens/Saigon beef (Seriously...who? I mean I have nothing against Joey but Saigon? Why are you beefing with Southeast Asia? Did they change the name of Cambodia AGAIN? Oh...hes a rapper...EVEN WORSE)
- That new Justin Timberlake/T.I. song (Yeah...you can't remake the awesomeness that was "My Love" so stop trying. You come off less like "Ebony and Ivory" and more like "The Girl Is Mine" or even worse "Sarah Smile." Yes, I am making interracial pop song references. Sue me, they all can't be gems)
- Not being able to have a lunchtime margarita (Or three. How else am I going to wash down my quesadilla?! WATER?! FUCK YOU, I'M AN AMERICAN!)
God...that title is why I only have six friends. And three of them want a spare kidney. Right her, assholes. Okay, I am back once again after a pretty big hiatus…of three days. For you people that were waiting for a post, you all have a LOT OF FRICKING NERVE. With that out of the way, it is about time for…
Random Thoughts!
Random Thought #1: Who In The Fuck Still Watches Lost?!
Understand this…right now…if you still watch “Lost” then you are a bloodclot on society and are the reason why Chance of Love stays on the air but Animaniacs gets cancelled. A show about a bunch of fuckwits on an island has been done twice already and a HELL OF A LOT BETTER with Gilligan’s Island and of course The Facts of Life:
Mmmm….Meredith Baxter-Birney burnin, burnin in my sooooouuuuul! How is THAT for an obscure pop culture reference? Check and mate. Anyway, I have seen two episodes of Lost. TWO…and they sucked. One they were on the island and running and the next one they were on the island and running. And someone got shot. Oh, and someone asked “WHAT’S GOING ON!” while spinning in a circle in the rain which was done and a lot boobier in “I Know What You Did Last Summer” with my baby boo Jennifer Love Hewitt with a lot more emphasis on awesome. I kind of see Lost the same way I see Heroes: a good attempt at an unoriginal idea that gets wrapped up in its own sense of suckitude. Kind of like what happened to Saved By The Bell after a while, once Zack and Slater accepted they were boyfriend and boyfriend. Now there was a lot of suckitude going on there if you get my drift! Innuendo…it’s spreading.
Random Thought #2: Super Bowl? More Like The Suck Bowl!
Geez, this blog is going in the gutter faster than a back alley aborted baby. Yeah, a Dirty Dancing reference, too. I am ON IT TODAY! Seriously, the reality of the situation has set in and it seems like Pittsburg has the knack of drawing teams that have shitty sports markets (I love Seattle and would rather be there than Korea but when you lose a team to OKLAHOMA CITY then you don’t deserve anything ever from anyone sports-wise) into the biggest game of the year. Remember the snoozefest that was Seattle vs. Pittsburg a couple of years ago? Neither do I. The only good thing about this Super Bowl will be the Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (GALVATRON, BITCHES! DRINK IT UP!) and the GI Joe trailers. Yes, you read that right. GI Joe is going to come to us in movie form this summer. Yes, I came hard. Let’s hope it is a little something like this:
FUCK YES! Can you imagine that with a budget now?! It will make the Lord of the Rings look like House Party 2! Or House Party 3! Although…why is Shipwreck flying a ship? Isn’t he the gay? THE NAVY DOESN’T ALLOW TEH GAYS! Anyway, the Super Bowl will suck but I will give my prediction which I have been right with for two straight years so I will go out on a limb and say…
Arizona Cardinals: 33 Pittsburg Steelers: 24
Why not? I mean if Mike Vick can go to jail for giving underprivileged dogs a place to exercise and meet new friends, why can’t the Cardinals win the Super Bowl? Yeah, someone will be offended by that shit.
Random Thought #3: So, It Looks Like I May Need To Learn To LIKE K-Dramas
I hate to cry so I used to avoid them but now I can’t get enough of them. Which is good because I just got emailed saying that I have passed the first part of getting into the English Teaching program in Korea. Yeah, THAT Korea. Nothing certain yet (Still have to get a background check and whatnot. Also, I am still debating it because it will put me poor in another country…but a country with GALBI, MOFO!) but I am halfway there and honestly it aint like there is much happening here. I would rather have Seattle and if they call in the interim then I am saying FUNK DAT and heading to the coast but I will keep all…six of you…posted. Shit, I need a bigger fan base.
Random Thought #4: Speaking Of Fanbases…
Who in the fuck is reading this thing and why? I noticed that I average about 7 readers a day (One of those is me because I count as a reader when I proofread the copy after the fact) for normal posts but during Douchebrawl I was getting up to 130 visitors a day, on Fridays for the Countdown I get about 40 and for the Chachi Music Video Awards I got 56 visitors. WHERE ARE YOU PEOPLE DURING THE TIMES I PUT UP MY GEMS?! Remember my “Zebra Theory?” OF COURSE YOU DON’T! YOU WEREN’T THERE! When I threatened to kill a puppy if Rain didn’t come out with an album? YOU MISSED IT! I just want to be famous and be knee deep in jailbait Japanese schoolgirls with an assload of cash fetti to my name. Is that so wrong? Well, it is from a legal standpoint if you want to be a stickler about LAWS. And finally…
Random Thought #5: Man, FUNK DAT!
Question…whatever happened to Sagat?
MAN, FUNK DAT! Not sure why, but this has been in my head all day long. Man, 2009 has been WEIRD.
Alright, I am out. Countdown up on Friday and the Chachi Music Awards will be up on Sunday! I think! Yes! Wait…maybe! I will work on it! Be here anyway! Stay up, ya’ll!
Yes, I know it is Saturday but Friday involved hilarity and I didn’t get back in time. Okay, it is a day late but I will give you a little spoiler: WE HAVE A NEW NUMBER ONE! Excited yet? Then lets’ get started with the…
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
First, let’s start with Falling Out:
Kumi Koda – Taboo (Peaked at #3) David Cook – Light On (Peaked at #13)
Kumi Koda has a new video (And damn, she is back to looking hot again) while David Cook seems to have disappeared. Let’s begin with a debut from an up and coming rapper NOT named Christopher Wallace. Because he dead. YEAH I SAID IT!
20. Kid CuDi – Day and Night (New Entry)
So we begin with a video for a song I have been digging for a while. The Cookers remix is rather catchy and has enough bass to make me realize that I need new speakers in my car. Hopefully we will hear more from him. 19. Rain (Bi) – Rainism (Last Week #16) Looks like Rain is leaving us! I have heard of no new videos from him so far but 2008was a good year for him. Although short seeing as he came back in September but still. 18. BACK-ON – flyaway (New Entry)
BACK-ON is back! They finally released an album last year and they are already back with a new and kick ass video! They have come a long way since sounding like a Limp Bizkit clone a few years ago. 17. UVERworld – Hakanaku mo Towa no Kanashi (Last Week #14) The World falls another three spots this week as we await the release of their fourth album. Or at least I WAIT FOR the release of their fourth album. With the singles that have released it could be up for Album of the Year in 2009! 16. Jesse McCartney – It’s Over (Last Week #20) Yes, THAT Jesse McCartney. This video moves up a big four spots this week as we move along. Have any of you heard the new J-Tim?! It…it sounds a hell of a lot like Prince. The not good Prince work at that. Justin…no. 15. YUI – I’ll Be (Last Week #12)
YUI falls this week and it looks like she may beginning to have a slow start to the new year. She ruled 2008 depending on your perspective so I am hoping that he current reigning Artist of the Year can come back. 14. YA-KYIM respects SEAMO - SA IKOU! (Last Week #18) Yeah, I am really beginning to fall in teh love with this video. Mostly because Yurie is FUCKING HOT but aside from that I loves dancing and loves me some YA-KYIM so add them together and you have a hit on your hands. 13. T.I. feat Rihanna – Live Your Life (Last Week #10, Five Weeks at #1) So I just heard this song in a MetLife commercial. TIP has taken over for Snoopy as a life insurance pitchman! NICE! Okay, I kid but this song is every-fucking-where. 12. Game feat Ne-Yo – Camera Phone (Last Week #13)Game and Ne-Yo move up one spot this week as the Game looks to have his sixth Top Five video. He finally broke the streak last year so could he actually make it to number one? 11. NERD – Sooner or Later – Away (Last Week #15) This is officially my new favorite song. My god, someone needs to put this in karaoke form so I can do this drunk off my ass. MAKE IT SO, NUMBER ONE! You see, that is a double joke because of the Star Trax…Star Trek…nevermind. 10. Halcali – LONG KISS GOODBYE (Last Week #8)
Halcali begins the Top Ten this week as they fall aother two spots. I wonder when I will hear from them again? Probably another TWO FUCKING YEARS! Seriously, ya’ll need to show up more often lest I freak out. 9. Kanye West – Heartless (Last Week #11) Kanye is back in the Top 10 and now I think he may officially have the record. I want to say he is up to eight but I have to count up and make sure. Yeah…Artist of the Year right here, people. 8. Joe Inoue – Closer (Last Week #9) Joe Inoue is STILL moving along, up one spot this week as they are now in the upper echelons with the tougher competition. Can they make it near the top where the air is thin? 7. Paramore – Decode (Last Week #4) Paramore falls three spots this week and all I have to say is that THE WRESTLER COMES TO THE CSP NEXT WEEK! Nothing to do with this video, I just really want to see it is all. Anything Vince McMahon hates I officially love so here we go! 6. RSP with DA BUBBLE GUM BROTHERS – LA.LA.LA LOVE SONG (Last Week #7) RSP x BGB move up one spot this week! It is a damn shame this song isn’t everywhere because it is damn awesome. In retrospect, I would rather the masses not be down with the BGB because Americans are…well, stupid sometimes. 5. BoA – Eat You Up [Korean Version] (Last Week #1, Four Weeks at #1) After a month on the top, BoA finally falls! The official Queen of K-Pop falls five big spots this week and relinquishes her crown! Can she come back with a new video to equal this ones popularity? We will have to see! 4. Aqua Timez - Velonica (Last Week # 5)THE SINGLE IS IN STORES NOW! PICK IT UP! Because of that, they move up one big spot this week and closer to number one. Also, BLEACH IS ABOUT TO TURN BACK THE PENDULUM!!! SPOILER ALERT! IT WILL ROCK YOUR FUCKING FACE!! We are left with three and a new number one! 3. Ikimonogakari – Kimagure Romanteikku (Last Week #2)
After two big weeks at number two, it looks like Ikimonogakari have failed to take the number one spot, falling one spot back this week. There is a chance they could rebound but it looks like they fall short after coming so close once again. 2. Nana Mizuki – TRICKSTER (Last Week #3)
Nana Mizuki is one step away! On her first time out, she has moved all the way up to the runner up spot this week! She came just short of taking the top spot, but she may be able to do it because if there is one thing I like, it is a lady that can rock! Well, with BoA giving up the throne, we have a familiar face rocketing into the top spot! 1. YA-KYIM respects KOME KOME CLUB – Kimi Ga Iru Dake De (Last Week #6, One Week at #1)[Biggest Mover]
For the second time, YA-KYIM takes the top spot! After about a 9 month hiatus, they have returned to prominence with arguably the best video of 2009 ALREADY! Yes, I love this video and anyone covering Kome Kome Club knows they got some good stuff working. Plus…I love me some Yurie. Welcome back to the top!
That is all for this late Countdown! Next week, tune in on FRIDAY to see if YA-KYIM can make it two straight weeks on top! Or will Nana Mizuki contine her suprising run and take the crown? Or can Ikimonogakari rebound and take their spot on the throne? See you in seven to find out!
Well, happy birthday Jason! I will be back either tomorrow or sometime next week for a new post. Until then, stay up peeps.
So I had interesting discussions about the empowerment of women a few days ago with Zach and Griff (and Teq who I hadnt seen in like two months even though he lives a block away. I suck as a friend) and something shocked me. First off, Zach is a chauvenist and Griff is not. That is fucking weird because Griff is a Muslim and you KNOW what the Quran says about women knowing their role and shutting their mouths. Say what you will about them being radical, they knows how to keep the womens in line. Unlike those Christians. No Paris Hilton’s under Allah’s watch. Griff actually thinks the BEST of women and then they act stupid and he repeats the cycle because like me, he attracts the crazies. Zach on the other hand doesn’t respect women at all, and usually they end up being stupid ANYWAY which validates his stance so it is difficult to prove him wrong about the situation.
I say all that because of this: how come women are so misguided now when women of the older generations had A LOT more shit to go through and ended up a lot better than females today? Hell, even my sister (as whacky as she is, and she is a few ninjas short of a clan) isnt pregnant and hasn’t dealt with any “baby daddy drama”. Keep in mind she doesn’t tell me everything but she does crazy on a grand scale so if she did some crazy shit it would be on Keith Olbermann or Papa Bear. And she lived in WASHINGTON DC AND NEW ORLEANS WHERE MURDERS HAPPEN LIKE RAPES BY CADETS! Damn…I am dick. No babies, no murders and no drunken stupors that resulted in bukkake or gangbangs. At least I hope because gangbangs don’t look fun for anyone involved. Even though I like her like Michael likes Janet (when I need to make a comeback single, I will call her) I respect the fact that she hasn’t lost her fucking mind. So how can females who live in COLORADO SPRINGS have more than two kids before 21 and drink themselves stupid while she can survive in HELLHOLES and not have a single kid to her name? Unless she pulled a Sarah Silverman and had abortsias (the plural of abortion. Look it up) she is doing okay and for the most part not being a fucktard. Which to me is the ultimate in empowerment: common sense.
Zach pitched an argument to me about how women find being sexually active in usual male based fantasies (gangbangs, anal, etc) is counter-productive if you are looking to be respected as a female. After a little more though, it became a valid statement because I found it hard to believe that women were down for the 5 on 1. I will say this several times, but it is worth saying again: there is nothing wrong with being sexually active but you cant confuse being ACTIVE with being DEVIANT. This is a confusing factor with me because the females I know give the same excuse, “I know it is not the norm and people will talk bad about me but it is my choice.” Which is true, flat out. It is your choice (Not RIGHT, don’t get that twisted. The Constitution doesn’t cover whoredom) to act however you like. I will never say that promiscuity is wrong because unless you have Bukkake Thursdays or Felching Fridays there is nothing wrong with sex. I heard it was great, but no one will let me find out because I have never had consentual sex with a woman without money involved. The fact is this: no matter how you slice it a bad move is a bad move no matter how you feel about it. Trust me, I lived this shit. Just because you have the OPPORTUNITY to have multiple sexual partners, drink yourself stupid, choose to date the “bad boy” or “thug” that will beat you but you have “so much history”, wear shirts with “Porn Star” or the Playboy bunny logo and know nothing about cars (Listen, I’m no mechanic but at least I KNOW TO CHANGE MY FUCKING OIL BEFORE TWO YEARS!) doesn’t mean you should. In the end, if you do the checks and balances and those ideas seem good then by all means knock yourself out. All that matters is how you feel about you and if you are comfortable with yourself then fuck the world if the can’t adjust. However, don’t get pissy when everyone else doesn’t approve with what you do because it is stupid as fuck. With power comes responsibility, deal with it. Peter Parker learned it, the Roman learned it, Jerry Jones and Carmen Policy learned it (kind of, 8 Super Bowls in 15 years negates the need to learn, I guess) and if you are known as the girl that likes it in all seven holes then you need to learn it as well.
Back on this point of empowerment. Last night I was talkling to a female friend of and I was talking about how I don’t understand how women can repsect themselves if they dance to songs that STILL refer to them as strippers and whore (Check out Plies and T-Pain and tell me I am wrong). She then TOLD me that stupid women (it is funny how women can be selective about who they consider “women” and who that consider “whores”. It is TOTALLY bearing on what the conversation is about but that is another rant) don’t CARE ABOUT A SONG CALLING THEM WHORES (or the artists/men in the club calling them that) dance to those songs and she dances to them because she likes to dance. That doesn’t make sense. Even if the song was bad ass and produced by Lil Jon, if there was a song with the hook “Dance, Nigger Jungle Bunny! Dance, Spear Chucka!”...I really don’t think that would fly with me. Now if a song says “Shake that ass bitch! Like a stripper on a pole! Drop that thing low you freaky ass hoe!” and you do so…you are kind of a dumbass. You can no longer talk about being dis-respected and you can no longer talk about the patriarchial structure of America holding you down because if you support those that hold you down you cannot complain. It’s not a difficult concept: Respect yourself and others witll respect you but don't expect acceptance for what you do. If they don’t after that and you are still cool with what you do and how you are, fuck them. Not LITERALLY.
New stuff (hopefully) on Friday and Sunday. Peace out, ya'll.
Time for some stuff. Or something...I'm kind of tired so a lot of this won't make teh sense.
Deep Thought #1: Indie Rock is Indie For A Fucking Reason
Because they don’t rock as hard as Abington Boys School. Just because everyone hasn’t heard of them doesn’t make them “edgy” or “out of the mainstream.” It means they aren’t fucking good enough for people to give a shit about them aside from you and other people who think they are fucking trendy by being “down” with an artist before they sold out. You know who else was “trendy?” Jack Johnson; now 75% of all the rapes of bros in America happen because of his music. Well, that and scotch but Jack Johnson makes the bro ready for bromance…in the butt. Indy rock sucks and no one cares that you think it is “cool” so eat a dick and leave it in your iPod. Jackass.
Deep Thought #2: Every Time You Come To A Complete Stop On The Highway, An Angel Is Sodomized
Or not, I really don’t care about angels but at least it made people pay attention. Seriously, the reason the highway was invented was to:
1. Avoid minority areas 2. Avoid stop lights 3. Avoid stop lights IN minority areas
So for what reason except for two dinosaurs fucking do people need to stop on a highway?! Instead of looking at an accident, be grateful you are still able to drive and aren’t injured and proceed to MOVE YOUR FUCKING ASS ALONG! Instead of slowing down because a police officer has one person pulled over, JUST SWITCH LANES RATHER THAN SLOWING DOWN! He aint the T-1000 and he aint going to chase you down! Quit being a mark ass bitch! Seriously, keep it moving or people should be allowed to move their foot up your ass for being a dipshit. Yeah, I am cussing a lot but this really doinks my doily.
Deep Thought #3: Parents Are Liars.
So at what point did it become acceptable to lie to your kids about any and everything imaginable? I mean parents lie to their kids about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and being able to be whatever they want to be when they grow up. Unless you are woman. Yes, I went there. If you are a woman and you are broke then it is your own damn fault because a wise-man once said that “pussy sells” so if you aint marketing your vagina correctly then you have no one to blame but yourself. Anyway, I have sat back and watch parents feel bullshit about how babies are born and it always starts that “when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much” to which I say BULL-TO-THE-SHIT! Okay, all the women with kids raise your hand. Now keep your hand up if you are married to the father of that baby. Damn, that is a lot of hands down. You see, this isn’t a MAJOR thing but why can’t parents just say “babies are made from fucking.” That’s what my parents said and you know what? No kids. That is mostly because women WON’T have consensual sex with me without money involved but in the end, isn’t money involved in all sexual activity? Ladies, if you are fucking a broke dude then you have no financial analyst sills and you need to see a Morgan Stanley or something because you need to diversify your bonds…by dividing your legs. DAMN, I AM AWESOME! Seriously parents, stop lying to your kids and tell them that babies are made by zygotes and shit.
Deep Thought #4: FUCK MICROSOFT
So I will never…EVER SUPPORT APPLE. But I have to send my Zune back for a second fucking time (After the first one I got was DEAD OUT OF THE BOX which means this is the third time but I digress) for repair and all I have to say is that I may be getting an iPod after all this bullshit. I really don’t want to do that because I do not like Apple but my iPod was to be phased out by this piece of shit Zune and I have been able to use it a total of 7 time since I got it and I don’t believe those are GOOD DAMN ODDS. Even better was that Microsoft wouldn’t give me a refund even though it has a warranty on it (But I worked support and get why that can’t do it: they are asshole cuntswabbers) and even better they refused to send me a new or even DIFFERENT UNIT after having to go through a DOA unit and the same unit not working after being sent back once for the same problem. I literally had to call them asinine just to get to a manager and even then they just said “fixing it will fix the problem” to which I responded “ no it won’t, jerkass” and after almost an hour and a half of back and forth they said they would give me a different unit. Long story short, Microsoft can lick my balls.
Deep Thought #5: I LOVE SEATTLE!!!
New train of thought and process of happiness I got from a certain someone. I will say this: if I am not in Seattle by my birthday of this year, one of you is getting beaten into unconsciousness. The person will remain in suspense. Hopefully I will be there and it won’t matter. But if I am not, someone is catching a beating.
That is all for now. I will odds are be back on Friday because someone decided that training was a good idea to be had in January. Unless there is a gay bar involved, all training will be hella lame from this point out. Be back soon, ya’ll.
You know, it is hella sad because AFRICANS DON'T HAVE FRIED CHICKEN! They have wildebeasts and rhinos and shit. Oh, and a whole lotta AIDS. You can't fry up AIDS and eat it! If you could, they would never be hungry again.
Honkeys have always been on my shitlist, though:
If I was China, I would break off a sandal in someones ass over that one. Besides, the only person that eats Jell-O is Bill Cosby with his punk ass. I mean, I make racist jokes (Every once in a while) but I do it for irony and humor. Except against the Turks because they just suck ass. Well, I am out of this bitch.
Okay people, it is about that time! I have put it off for NINE FUCKING DAYS and after many a piece of hate mail from my Blogger peeps I have finally completed it For the second third year in a row, it is time for the…
PASSION OF CHACHI YEAR END SPECTACULAR:
2008 Year In Review & 2009 Preview!
So as a few of you know (Copper especially…because he was fucking there) I had a really irritable 2008. I mean irritable enough to know why people snap and pull a Martin Lawrence. At the same time, 2008 wasn’t all bad…in the way like rape isn’t all bad. Yeah, I went there. Just so you know, 2009 is the year I don’t give a shit anymore because of the first question that was asked for this Omnibus….
What Was The Biggest Story of the Year?
If your dumb ass has to ask then you need to be deported. Two words: Barack Obama. Conservatives can be pissed off about the asinine assumption that we will delve into a socialist republic (Because…we have been doing a bang up job with what we are doing now. What is the foreclosure rate again? Jackasses) which liberal hippie douches can cream themselves on the fact that America is SO PROGRESSIVE BECAUSE WE ELECTED A BLACK PRESIDENT although that man had to be twice as smart as every White candidate ever just to get noticed and almost lost to someone whose biggest claim to fame is that she won’t suck her husband’s dick is kind of sad but at the end of the day it was a ground breaking event. You see, I don’t think people get it. I don’t like it when people say “you don’t know what it is like to be a woman!” (Which is special because women don’t know anything about anything. ZING!) or replace woman with an ethnic group, race, sexual orientation or furry because I don’t give a fuck for one and most importantly…no one knows what it is like to be ANYONE ELSE. My struggle as a Black man was different in Obama’s in some cases and in a lot of cases it was similar. At the end of the day his win wasn’t as much of a win for Black people (Shit, I ain’t got my “We Won!” trophy yet. Unlike when O.J. won when I got a nice wine and cheese basket. Yes, Blacks love wine and cheese. It’s like alcoholic Kool-Aid!) as it showed that some times…when the right Black man comes along…we can trick Whitey in to doing what we want. YEAH, I SAID IT!
I don’t think people get something. My White Republican friends all said that Blacks got Obama in office. Well, you are a bunch of fuckwits and you know it. It is YOUR PEOPLES FAULT! Understand something, honkey: the darkie vote has only effected one election ever. That election was the American Idol election between Ruben Studdard and Clay Aiken:
The simple fact is that Obama did something that I don’t think any President in my generation has done aside from President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho. He brought Americans together of all races, genders, age group and sexual orientation (Except furries) under one simple line of hope: yes we can. I wish Tupac was alive to see this because he was thankfully wrong:
America IS ready to have a Black President. I just wish it was Camacho first. Because shit’s all fucked up and shit. So everybody, let’s do what we can and let him do his job. At least until the crops die because we give them electrolytes. Sorry…I’m watching “Idiocracy” while I do this. SOUTH CAROLINA, REPRESENT!
What Would You Like To See End In 2009?
I am so glad you asked! Mostly because I was going to tell you any-damn-way but still. There are a few things that I am hoping just either stop or die out in 2009. Here are a few.
Number One: 50 Cent Needs To Shut The Fuck Up
Seriously. You know, he kind of stayed the hell out of my radar this year after getting his ass handed to him by Kanye West but right now he is coming off like a real douchebag McGee. I really didn’t have a problem with him until he had a little mini-rant at the end of the “Heartless Monster” track:
Did you hear his bullshit at the end? Really? Go out and beat up people different than you? REALLY?! What the fuck are you, some sort of Nigger Hitler?! Gee, people who dress and act differently are becoming the norm?! LET’S GET THEM AND TEACH THEM A LESSON! Why don’t you put on a white hood and start night ride, you worthless Black fuck. Seriously, shit like that makes me wish you really do die in a violent fashion. Sorry, I just don’t support people that believe in beating people for being different because YOU SUCK ASS AND HAVENT CHANGED ANYTHING YOU HAVE DONE. You change with the world, the world doesn’t change for you. Anyone who supports this cockmonger should be kicked in the face.
Number Two: Bret Favre Needs To Retire Or Die. Or Both, It Doesn’t Matter
Take your inbred ass back to Mississippi and stay the fuck off my TV. Seriously, you came back and you stunk up the joint. People can say that I don’t have the skills so I shouldn’t say anything and that is dead on. I don’t have the skills to be a quarterback and looking at the last five games, neither did he. People need to get off this guys dick and let other people have some screen time that actually make shit happen. Like Matt Ryan, Joe Flacco and Phillip Rivers. Future of the NFL right there, not some guy trying to stay in the limelight because he doesn’t want to go home for some reason. No Favre in 2009!
Number Three: The Teen Explosion…Again.
Okay, I like boy bands and Korean pop as much as the next weirdo. But the influx of sparsely talented teen singers, inane TV shows and shit-tastic movies and books really is beginning to piss me off. I mean Miley Cyrus was bad enough with her pedophile father (Yes, the dude that gave us “Achy Breaky Heart” likes the loli…and keeps it in the family) but then there were like seven more LESS TALENTED people that came after her and they are everywhere! Well, that is an exaggeration because I saw them during Christmas in the mall which skews the numbers but you get the idea. Combine that with everyone and their mother even CONSIDERING to put Twilight in the same BREATH AS THE DARK KNIGHT makes me want to kick a puppy dead in the nose. I mean, the teen groups of my day were actually…good. I mean Debbie Gibson wrote her own music! New Edition kept the tradition of Motown alive! Even New Kids On The Block gave us the marketing ability to make your own Band-Aids with your faces on them. I mean…okay that’s rather lame but you get what I am saying! You gonna tell me the Jonas Brothers are better than NKOTB? Or Backstreet Boys?! OR EVEN 2GETHER?!:
Now THAT is how you make a boy band, peeps! Besides, Dougie is almost twice my age so I can still make ABSquared! Don’t even get me started on what they try to pass off as “entertainment” on the TV side for teenagers. You know, I had Animaniacs, Freakazoid, The Tick and even Undergrads later on in my teens to watch and learn from. WHAT IN THE FUCK DO PEOPLE LEARN FROM GOSSIP GIRL?! Aside from how to be vapid, vindictive and shallow. I don’t think teenage females need courses on any of that. What is even worse it that teenage males either have bastardized anime (What the fuck is a Beyblade? Is that show even still on?!) or everyone’s favorite UFC/MMA. Okay, understand this: I have plenty of alpha male in me. I mean, I love the pussy:
But still, I am really sick of the influx of bros loving UFC. I mean, the concept of fighting when it isn’t a last resort automatically makes me think we are de-evolving as a people but I digress. The fact that teen boys have MMA as a PE class makes me say “Maybe we deserve to be wiped the fuck out” because we are no better than cavemen with sticks and rocks at that point. Sad.
What Would You Like To See Take Off In 2009?
Hmm…that is a tough one since I would rather what I like not make it into the mainstream because they will do with it what they did with anime: rape and bukkake it and leave it on the floor in a heap of tears and shame when they are done with it with the money on the dresser. Yet, I want to answer this question so here we go.
Number One: Like Hot Butter On The K-Popcorn!
Aaahhhh, humor. Without it, I would have killed all of you. So for a few years now I have been waiting for K-Pop to make the “invasion” like British bands, Latin groups and of course grunge and hair bands did before them. But it never materialized, mostly because Americans are kind of a bunch of fuckwits that don’t have a concept of what is good, which is why Scrubs bounces networks but Flavor of Love had multiple seasons. Either way, I am kind of excited to see K-Pop come to America to a certain extent. I don’t believe it is fair that they have to sing in English because…well, they all sound horrible. You gotta let it do what it do and if you do what you do well in your native tongue then do it that way. I mean Eat You Up from BoA was OKAY but you can tell that either she is part battery drained vocorder or English aint her strong point. Rain does a little better but still you can tell he sounds off. Besides, I prefer their songs in their native language anyway> Americans are slow and egocentric so it has to be their way if you want to play so I understand why. I am looking forward to some Se7en, Rain and BoA coming my way since pop here is TEH LAME. Which brings me to my next grand idea.
Number Two: J-Rawk YOUR FACE!
We all know that rock music has dropped off to the point that they are digging up bands to make comebacks in order to make it seem like rock is worth a shit anymore. AC/DC? Metallica? Guns “n” Roses? What is it, 1991?! I thought they were all fucking dead! New rock bands for the most part are either overrated (The Killers), unoriginal (Theory of a Deadman) or just not fucking talented (Every band I have heard since 2002 with a guitar) which is leaving a void that I think a well marketed J-Rock band could fill. Now Maximum The Hormone built a huge following after the success of Death Note and with Darker Than Black coming over to Adult Swim (I believe) this year, it is time for Sony to push the hell out of Abingdon Boys School and UVERworld. I mean I thought they would take off last year after the whole Bleach explosion but anime fans are still for the most part Narutards so you can’t win them all but HOWLING is the shit:
Add in the fact that D. Gray Man is supposedly coming soon (INNOCENT SORROW was just as bad ass as HOWLING but is like two years old) and ABS has a new single this year then I am saying it right now: ABINGDON BOYS SCHOOL OR UVERWORLD BETTER BE ON AMERICAN RADIO BY SEPTEMBER OR I PUNCH A KITTEN. I will do it.
So what does the New Year hold for us all? We as Americans have new President, a tough financial time ahead and a conversion to Digital TV to worry about. I kid, I kid. I hope everyone is ready because 2009 is going to rock your face! Or at least not be as sucky as 2008 was. MAN, LAST YEAR WAS ASS AND A HALF. Anyway, stay up ya’ll. I will be back soon. Happy New Year, fools!
It is about that time! It is Friday and it is time for the twenty biggest videos of the week given to you by the King himself! It's time for...
Chachi's Top 20 Video Countdown!
First it is time for Falling Out:
Kanye West – Love Lockdown (Peaked at #1 for Two Weeks) Young Jeezy – Crazy World (Peaked at #12)
Two of the biggest stars of 2008 finally end their runs. But now we begin with a first timer!
20. Jesse McCartney – It’s Over (New Entry)
Okay, okay. It is a little known fact that I like Jesse McCartney’s music. Yeah, I said it. This video has been a favorite of mine and I knuckled up and put it on here. We have all been there, some of us more times than others. That and he is just SO DREAMY! 19. Kumi Koda – Taboo (Last Week #17) My baby boo is still holding on! She falls two spots but stays on the Countdown as we literally countdown to her album release. ARE YOU READY?! 18. YA-KYIM respects SEAMO - SA IKOU! (New Entry)
Yes, more YA-KYIM! I actually saw this video before I saw the Kome Kome Club cover but you know…Kome Kome Club is CLASSIC. This video still has some kick ass dancing and even Seamo brings some goodness. Can’t believe I wanted to kick his ass at one point. 17. David Cook – Light On (Last Week #15) David Cook seems to be falling off this week as he falls two more spots to number seventeen. Just saw the ad on FOX…American Idol is back for some reason. Man, I used to LIKE that show. WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME? 16. Rain (Bi) – Rainism (Last Week #14) Rain is still falling! I need something new from the bishie king himself soon or I may just have to wait for Se7en’s comeback. 15. NERD – Sooner or Later – Away (Last Week #18) NERD moves on up this week as we move on. You know, I haven’t bought a NERD album since the first one and was underwhelmed but this one has been pretty good. Glad I picked it up. 14. UVERworld – Hakanaku mo Towa no Kanashi (Last Week #11) The World is down and looks to be out this week as they fall a big three spots. Here is to patiently waiting for the album! 13. Game feat Ne-Yo – Camera Phone (Last Week #16) Game moves up this week as he looks to continue 2008’s success this year. As for Ne-Yo, I believe this is the first time he has ever been on here. Doesn’t surprise me, a lot of what he does annoys me. 12. YUI – I’ll Be (Last Week #9)
YUI falls from the Top 10 for the first time since November as she once again failed to take the number one spot. Here is looking to next time, I guess… 11. Kanye West – Heartless (Last Week #13) Kanye moves up two spots this week as he lies right outside the Top 10. I can honestly say there is no real way he can top 2008 this year but he will make the attempt. If he gets cracking on CRS we COULD BE IN BUSINESS! 10. T.I. feat Rihanna – Live Your Life (Last Week #6, Five Weeks at #1)[Plunge of the Week] We are into the Top 10 and we begin with the second biggest video of 2008! T.I. will be gone for a minute for a little bid but this video still hangs on. I wonder if he will release one more before he goes in? 9. Joe Inoue – Closer (Last Week #12)
Wow, two Naruto videos in the Top 10?! WHO KNEW?! Well, Joe Inoue moves into the upper half on their first time out and look to maybe hang with the professionals. Can they? 8. Halcali – LONG KISS GOODBYE (Last Week #4) Halcali falls another four spots this week as they fail again to take the top rung. They come by so sparingly too. It must be what it is like to have grandchildren. 7. RSP with DA BUBBLE GUM BROTHERS – LA.LA.LA LOVE SONG (Last Week #8) RSP makes a small move up to number seven this week after rocketing up the chart over the last few weeks. Can I just say that this is the most genius fucking song EVER? EVER?! CLASSIC! 6. YA-KYIM respects KOME KOME CLUB – Kimi Ga Iru Dake De (Last Week #10, Biggest Mover) For the second straight week, YA-KYIM moves up the most spots! The jump up four big ones and just outside of the Top Five once again! Now THIS is how you remake a song, people. TAKE FRICKING NOTES! 5. Aqua Timez - Velonica (Last Week # 7) We start the Top Five with a former champ in Aqua Timez! It has been about 16 months since they have been this high and it is good to see them back. AND THE SINGLE COMES OUT NEXT WEEK, PEEPS! PICK IT UP! 4. Paramore – Decode (Last Week #3) After making it to the Top Three last week, Paramore falls a spot today as the fact it is involved with Twilight finally catches up with it. Sorry…but I hate that fricking movie. We are down to three! 3. Nana Mizuki – TRICKSTER (Last Week #5)
Nana Mizuki is near the peak! She moves up two spots to number three this week in her first foray on the Countdown and much like a NaNa before her, she is making a HUGE SPLASH. Can she keep this going? 2. Ikimonogakari – Kimagure Romanteikku (Last Week #2)
For the second straight week, Ikimonogakari is holding the silver medal! That isn’t a bad thing but you know they want the top spot! Well, to get it next week, they have to knock off the reigning queen… 1. BoA – Eat You Up [Korean Version] (Last Week #1, Four Weeks at #1)
BoA has done it once again! For a full month, she has dominated the Countdown after knocking off T.I. and Rihanna. Pretty impressive run for the Queen of K-Pop! Hyori Lee may have something to say about that, but she aint here right now. GIMME MORE BOA NOW!
That is all for this Friday! Tune in next week to see if BoA can make it a huge FIVE weeks in a row at the top! Or will Ikimonogakari FINALLY take over the top spot? Or will Nana Mizuki pull one of the biggest upsets of all time and trump them both? See you in seven to find out!
Well, I am out for now. I will be back on Sunday. Until then, stay up peeps.
What is up, peeps?! I was hella tired yesterday so I took a small break from posting but I am back with an update! You know you missed me…and I missed you too, baby. Well, now it is time for…
Chachi’s Deep Thoughts!
Deep Thought #1: If You Replace “Short” With “Black” in Randy Newman’s “Short People”…it is really no longer as funny:
Think about it. I mean, short people really DO have no reason to live.
Deep Thought #2: Ladies, You Are Only As Used Up As You Feel
So a few months ago on a post (Or it may have just been a discussion with a female friend of mine, but I thought I had it up as a rant) I talked about women and how some of them (Read: SOME OF THEM. Shut your fool mouths) fuck anything that moves up until they hit around 30 and then realize that they have to either settle down with someone that doesn’t care that she was rode like the Quad City DJ’s (DIG THE 90’S REFERENCE!) in an Atlanta club or continue to fuck their way to either stardom or a paid electric bill. I am one that says you gotta be you no matter who you are so if you are cool with that I am not going to judge. However, in this discussion she got hella pissed off because she felt I was talking about her (To which I just had to respond that she is 24 and doing this which makes her ahead of the game but I digress) and I sit back and I wonder here: is it really that big of a deal that you have a torrid past as a woman? Quite simply, who gives a fuck?
Suprisingly other women. Which I find SPECIAL because only in the world of womandom can a friend be your best bud in the morning and a trollopwhorebitchslut by lunch. I mean I have seen real-time women talk about other women that had sex with a guy a whore…when they fucked the same guy. You see, that is the logic that keeps who you have fucked an issue. I think men have a real simple definition of what makes a woman of so ill repute that she can never be dated or married:
1. Paris Hilton – Nothing personal, I just don’t think that men want to fuck a walking, talking insect. 2. Madonna – Yeah….no. Her vagina is like the Galgamek vagina. And it casts Ultima and Death. AT THE SAME TIME. Yes, her vagina is Hojo from FFVII. 3. Mary Magdalene – Once you fuck Jesus, there is no going anywhere else for your Jew wang. I mean, I can’t have some woman calling out another man’s name in bed! Let ALONE THE KING OF THE HEBREWS!
After this, unless you have decided it was a good idea to lay it down on Magic Johnson, you are not a whore no matter what you have done. I know women, they have done some fucked up and repugnant shit. So have men, but you never judge them for fucking that toothless stripper in Baton Rouge in the ass. Which you should but it doesn’t matter as long as you love them. Or they have money, which is a very legitimate alternative to love. It is science.
Deep Thought #3: Notoriously….Overrated?
Yes, I am saying it right here and right now. Notorious BIG is NOT THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME. Hell, he wasn’t even the best rapper in 1997. The fact he has a movie based on his life is fine because even MC Hammer had a bio-pic. I guarantee that it was better than Notorious is going to be. I mean let’s face it: he had two albums. TWO ALBUMS. You going to call Kurt Warner one of the best quarterbacks of all time for two MVP’s and two Super Bowl appearances? Fuck no. That is how I feel about Biggie. Yes he was good but to act like the man invented rap when it was obviously Rudy Ray Moore and Gil Scott Herron is just Black people being Black people. There, I said it. Hell, I can name several rappers better than Christopher “I Robbed Bill Cosby of His Sweaters And Pudding!” Wallace:
1. 2Pac (WELL DUH! The greatest of all time, fuck the world if they can’t adjust) 2. Eminem 3. Common 4. Andre 3000 5. Kanye West (Say what you will, Biggie was a product of a lot of production. KANYE IS PRODUCTION) 6. Jay-Z (Ugh…but it is true) 7. Talib Kweli 8. Snoop Dogg (You KNOW you was down with “Snoop’s Upside Yo Head!”)
9. SNOOP SNOOPY, SNOOPY! 10. Rappin 4-Tay 11. Johnny Storm
12. I FLAME ON!!
Now those are just SOME rappers that are better than Biggie. I didn’t even toss in that guy from 69 Boyz! In all seriousness, I am really just sick of people swearing up and down of the greatness of the Notorious BIG when he was good, not great. I mean, I don’t think you may have known this due to the massive orgasm of rap fans over his “legacy” but…Life After Death kind of sucked. By kind of sucked I mean did suck. I tell you it was nowhere near the classic label people seem to be putting on it I tell you THAT FOR DAMN SURE. Biggie was good but he was not the greatest. It is kind of like the whole Michael Jackson and the King of Pop ridiculousness. If you say it long enough, people will believe it.
That is all for now. Countdown on Friday and I will work on the Omnibus this weekend. Until then, stay up peeps.
Okay, a quick update because I am kind of in the mood and dreading going to work tomorrow. Seeing as how I have to be up at 5am to get there...I am having some soul searching time. With that, you get a new post! Kind of, I posted this in 2006 but I thought it was rather funny. It was after I had my first official date in about six months or so (Give or take that time I was dating someone and didnt know it because I was dense) and she kind of made it into an event when it was really just dinner, wine, a play and hanging out. Which I guess in the Constitution is a date but I didnt know that. So, here is a short redo about a little thing we all like but are never really ready for.
DATING
Now I will be the first to say it has been a HELLA long time since I have had a date. I’m not going to go into numbers, but let’s just say that I never it has been a while and I never want to see the girl I took out again. What a biggity-bitch. Anyway, what is it with women and dates? As a man, I think of dates as a simple way to get to know a person. No more, no less. Women seem to make dating out to be some big deal like it determines their future even though odds are it is going to go bad because that is all I ever hear. It really isn’t all that complicated. Especially for dudes, who a lot of times see a date as an alternative for getting a prostitute because they pay for tang either way. Listen, as Huey said you aren’t paying her, you are paying the restaurant.
Keep in mind my experience is limited and my attitude about and during a date may be the reason for the lack of them. When you look at it, you as a woman really dont have to DO anything. It is kind of like The Eagles in the playoffs: you are playing with house money. Or in this case, HIS MONEY. Let's put it all into perspective shall we? Ladies, on a date you get:
1. A free car ride. Can be great if the guy has a nice car. Or bad if he has a Honda Civic. Despite that, your ass aint paying for gas and even though the prices are going down it is a matter or priniciple. I for one dont mind driving but I DO MIND when a woman critiques my choice in music or my anime flair on my rear view. Understand something: Fergie sucks and she will not be played in my car no matter how much you like her. Personal expereince...I'm sorry.
2. Free Entertainment. What would a date be without a movie, play or event of some sort? If a lady decided to take me to the movies or to a play I would be all ‘hells yeah’ about it. Women seem to not have the liking for the theatre or the symphony like I do because well, they have all told me on general purpose they dont like it. Which means that the arts are frequented by old women and gay men. Oddly enough, those are the two groups that talk to me the most so it is all beginning to FUCKING MAKES SENSE! Sorry, breakthrough...
3. Free Food. Not only do you get free food, it is usually high quality food. Any man that takes you on a date to a fast food restaurant is straight PIMP because I don’t have the balls to do that. However, if you are okay with it you are dumb as fuck. I’m a sit down restaurant kind of guy when it comes to conversation anyway. This also comes to be a problem because women dont like to...what's that word...think. Women never want to make the decision about where to go on a date mostly because it is a MAN'S time to show you how he will treat YOU. Dates are like mini-weddings for women, except she isn't EXPECTED to give it up at the end of the night. More on that later.
4. Good conversation. This is a double edged sword in my opinion because usually I am told that I talk down to women, which is false. I can talk over the heads of some people but that is normal. Ladies, if a date with a man revolves around his work and you listening it is your own fucking fault. There is nothing better than a dynamic when conversing. One person talking for the whole time while the other listens SUCKS. Oh, and no matter what previous boyfriends have said, it isnt cool to talk about how much you dont like the way someone is dressed. I dont give a fuck and neither should you. This part is what you make of it.
5. No Strings Attached. Now THIS varies by the man. I for one don’t believe a woman owes me jack shit after a date because that is fucking stupid. When I go out with Zach or Nolan or Rick and I pay, I don’t get a 12-pack of Nati Ice and some Axe Body Spray (Inside joke for those that have seen the Bro Rape video) for the rough night ahead. Long story short, a date is a meet and greet to the point it is almost like an interview. Do you fuck the interviewer because they said you did a great job? If you do...damn you nasty.
So if I go out with a woman just on general purpose (lunch or dinner or whatever), not even a date and I pay I expect nothing. Any man that does is kind of pathetic. I’m just saying, money doesn’t grow on trees but have some common sense. Just because you take her out doesn’t mean she has to put out. Oh, and women; if you DO put out because he take you out then you are stupid as all hell. You are the reason that there needs to be a bailout on the pussy because it's stock is dropping like Chrysler. There is a fine line between taking advantage and just common courtesy. Remember that and you will have a good time without feeling like you owe someone something.
Well, I am out for now. I will be back at some point this week for another update. I just had to repost this after a rather comical conversation a few minutes ago and she didnt understand the original post. I hope you understand now. You can keep your clothes on and we can still have a good time, girl!
I would prefer NOT...but that's what the cherry wine is for! IT'S A CELEBRATION! Stay up, ya'll.
What's up, peeps? It is a cold ass Sunday night and I am still working on the Omnibus for the New Year. I will have it up by next Sunday night. This weekend I have just been bummed. Shitty weather, the Falcons lost and I have come to the realization that I havent really accomplished much at the old age of 28. Sure, I hit that Combo Breaker that one time in Killer Instinct 2 but as bad ass as that was, not much else has been done by me. It is of my own accord, mind you but not much has been accomplished nonetheless.
I never wanted to be that person that believed in the Johnny Paycheck idea of "you work sixteen hours and what do you get?" theory but at the same time it seems that is what I have put myself in. Sure in some jobs I had a lot of fun with Copper (Many a time. Like I said, dude. I am David Lee Roth to The Pack's Van Halen) and The Q was one job I surely miss but at the same time...I didn't wake up one day and say "Hot damn it, I want to do sales! That will get me mad bitches!" As we all know, bitches love money no matter how you get it. It is why they date drug dealers and take several years of abuse because they have a roof over thair head and cable. Sounds like she would be a fucking dumbass but in this economy I completely understand it now.
I jest on that but at the same time I am really vexxed about a lot of shit. One of my New Year's Resolution's was to cut back on my drinking and I have already done that (One Vesper?! What am I, a pussy?!) but what exactly will that accomplish? People always say that they want to quit smoking or quit drinking for their health but at the same fucking time you could die from a bear rape and people wouldnt care if you were a chain smoker or an alcoholic. Death dont care if you like the soju. Death only cares if youa re willing to give it the opportunity to fuck your shit up.
I guess I am saying it is time to do what makes you happy. It hit me the other day when I was talking to a total stranger at the karaoke bar when people were talking about resolutions and he flat out said that he won't do them because quite simply:
WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE?
Think about it. With perfection being a flawed concept at it's core, why do people strive for it? How can you constantly work for your "happiness" when you have no idea who you are? If you dont know who you are or even what you want that will create the perfect you...how can you even be happy? How can you even TRY to be a perfect Christian if you have no idea the basic groundworkings of the words? How can you be the perfect husband or wife to your spouse or parent to your children if not only were YOUR PARENTS NOT PERFECT BUT YOU ARENT EVEN A GOOD ENOUGH YOU TO BE HAPPY WITH WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE?!?! IS THIS SINKING IN?!
Yeah, I had a good old fashioned gut check a few days ago. You see, I always knew that reaching for perfection should never be the goal but attempting to complete what makes you happy before attempting anything else. But man, I put that shit to the side for the logical aspect of paying bills and going to work like a good little cog. It got me to where I am at now which is a lot better off then I thought I would be after some of the dumb shit I have done but even still, I am no vampire hunting rock star ninja pirate. Which is what I really want to be but I know that will never happen because ninjas hate rock. It's a conundrum.
I want to close this with a weird ass story. So it was last year after I had an interview for a company that will remain nameless that flew me out for a round of interviews. If you know me, it's the one where they didn't know that my Anglo sounding name belonged to a Negro and long shoty short when I got home I already had an email saying I didnt get the job from one side and a heart-felt apology from the hiring manager about what we were under the assuption was a pure lock. Long story short, after I found that out I went to a rousing game of "Three Man" at Copper's when I decided that whiskey, soju, PBR and then some sake and Kirin at Ichiban's with Zach was a good idea. Which it was, until I went home a laid down after the debacle. When I went to bed, Tupac:Resurrection was on (Which is one of my favorite movies of all time because the words of Tupac Shakur are the epitome of duality which in my opinion is the foundation of the human being) and as I watched it I drank some more soju (Yes, back then I had a stash) and finally just passed out. Then I had a dream where I was sitting on the deck out back looking out and nothing was there. Nothing. And I was just staring, in the same suit I had my interview in. At that point I just sat there when Tupac walked next to me. Yes, THAT Tupac. Then, one of the most vivid and downright ODD dialogs I ever had in a dream occured:
Tupac: What are you looking at? Me: Nothing. Nothing is there. Tupac: Only you can change that, you know. (Awkward silence. I look back and the backyard and all the other stuff is there. I turn around and he is gone) Me: Oooooooookkaay. I think I am dreaming. Tupac's Voice: Life is hard. You will keep getting knocked down. You know why? Me: ....uh....because I am a dumbass? (Awkard silence) Tupac's Voice: No....because getting knocked down shows you are a trying. If you never try, you never get knocked down because you never fight. Me: That's deep, nigga. Tupac's Voice: Shut up. Remember that. It aint about getting knocked down. It aint even about getting back up. It is about what you do when you get up. Because just getting up is part of your instinct...learning is how you grow. Me: .....Damn, nigga. THAT'S DEEP. Tupac's Voice: NIGGA SHUT UP! You are dreaming right now. Don't forget what I told you. No body ever learns by giving up. (At this point, Talib Kweli's "The Blast" begins to play) Me: Wow....thanks... Tupac's Voice: Now turn that fucking TV off, nigga.......
I then wake up....and Talib Kweli's "The Blast" is playing on VH1 Soul rather fucking loudly. I am sitting up (Still in my interview clothes, mind you) in front of my computer and guess what is in Windows Media Player? Tupac:Resurrection. So as I was typing this, I got sick of ESPN (No one cares about the greatest game ever played, assholes. I will ruin the ending for you: Giants in overtime...jackass) so I turned the channel to VH1 Soul. Guess what was on? Tupac: Resurrection. Yeah, cosmic like a motherfucker. Oh, and guess what I am about to play? Some Talib Kweli:
Sometimes, life isnt priceless and it isnt a game. Sometimes...life is just life. Quite simply, that is all life can be. All you can do is live and learn as you do it. MESSAGE!!!!!!
Live, Laugh, Learn & Love
(KICKING IT OLD SCHOOL! Don't worry, I will be back to ranting next time. I promise!)
Well, it is about that time, peeps! It is a new year and hopefully we are set up for better times! With a new Friday comes a new Countdown as well! So let’s get this bad boy started!
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
Before we get started with the first Countdown of 2009, let’s take a look at the videos no longer with us in Falling Out:
Wonder Girls - Nobody (Peaked at #1 for One Week)
It was a great 2008 for the Wonder Girls with two number one videos. Let’s hope 2009 is just as good! Well, here we go!
20. Kanye West – Love Lockdown (Last Week #17, Two Weeks at #1) We begin the first Countdown of 2009 with the man that arguably dominated 2008! Love Lockdown looks to be spending it’s last week on the chart after pulling down the number one spot last year. After a controversy filled 2008, what is in store for the new year for Kanye? All I can say is that it better involve CRS. 19. Young Jeezy – Crazy World (Last Week #15) Another artist that had a huge 2008 is beginning 2009 on a down note. Young Jeezy hit the top twice but this video stalled out before even making it to the Top 10. He has two new videos so we will see where that leads us. 18. NERD – Sooner or Later (New Entry)
NERD FINALLY follows up Everybody Knows! This song caught my attention a while back and the video is…well, ironic to say the least. Also, Pharrell’s voice isn’t as annoying as it can be when he is rapping. Now he CAN NOT SING, but he doesn’t sound horrible. Catchy little ditty, by the way. 17. Kumi Koda – Taboo (Last Week #12, Plunge of the Week) My baby boo falls five big spots this week! Her album should be out any day now and you know it is a front runner for the 2009 Chachi Music Awards. But until then, we just have to live with some Taboo. 16. Game feat Ne-Yo – Camera Phone (Last Week #18) Game and Ne-Yo move up a modest two spots this week. I am kind of curious with the West Coast rap scene because…well, there IS NO WEST COAST RAP SCENE. Man, I miss the West. 15. David Cook – Light On (Last Week #13)
David Cook falls two spots this week as it looks like he may have stalled out. Does anyone even know when the new season of American Idol even starts? It has really fallen on hard times I tell you what. 14. Rain (Bi) – Rainism (Last Week #10) Looks like Rain is clearing up as he falls from the Top 10 for the first time in two months. I really need to learn more of his songs but even if I did, no karaoke bar even HAS THEM! That is so jacked. It is like going to an American bar and they not have any Journey. They take away your liquor license! 13. Kanye West – Heartless (Last Week #16) Kanyeezy moves up three spots this week as we move on. You know, I am really hoping that the remix version of “Go Hard” with Jay-Z becomes a video. It is one of the few Jay-Z guest verses I have actually liked in the last three years from him. 12. Joe Inoue – Closer (Last Week #14)
Joe Inoue moves up two spots as the Naruto bump looks to be helping them out a tad. You know, I haven’t watched Naruto in about 10 episodes and haven’t even been keeping up on the manga. Weird, I don’t know how Narutards put up with the crap. 11. UVERworld – Hakanaku mo Towa no Kanashi (Last Week #8) The World finally falls out of the Top 10! UVERworld has had a rough go of it over the last year or so since dominating 2006. Here is hoping that 2009 turns around for them. 10. YA-KYIM respects KOME KOME CLUB – Kimi Ga Iru Dake De (Last Week #20, Biggest Mover)
HELLS YES! YA-KYIM makes a triumphant return to the chart! After two weeks, they are already back in the Top 10 jumping TEN SPOTS this week! This song is the mad notes and since I know the hook now…I think I can fake the rest of it at karaoke. Who’s with me?! 9. YUI – I’ll Be (Last Week #6) Just like UVERworld did in 2006, YUI dominated 2007 but could not take the top spot in 2008 despite four videos hitting number two. Can she change her luck this year? 8. RSP with DA BUBBLE GUM BROTHERS – LA.LA.LA LOVE SONG (Last Week #11) Welcome to the Top Ten! RSP bring the icons to the new generation with this video! Not only that, they covered a TK song which makes it triple bad ass! Damn, 2009 is looking GOOOOOOD. 7. Aqua Timez - Velonica (Last Week # 9)
Okay, enough games. I want the single for this and I want it FRICKING NOW. It is like Alones all over again. It was number one before they even RELEASED the single! MAKE IT HAPPEN! 6. T.I. feat Rihanna – Live Your Life (Last Week #4, Five Weeks at #1) After a two and a half month run in the Top Five, T.I. and Rihanna fall outside of it for the first time in a long while. Since this may be the last time we see T.I. for a minute, you better get your fix now. Because he’s going to that gulag! 5. Nana Mizuki – TRICKSTER (Last Week #7) Nana Mizuki is moving on up! Her first time out, she has taken a spot in the Top Five and the more I watch this video, the more I like it! I may have to make some more room in my baby boo mantle room! 4. Halcali – LONG KISS GOODBYE (Last Week #2) After coming so close last week, Halcali falls two big spots from the runner up spot! They have been gone for a while and only show up once in a blue moon so hopefully this is a sign of them making more appearances. We are down to three! 3. Paramore – Decode (Last Week #5)
After a short hiatus, Paramore is back near the top! They move up two spots to the bronze step on the podium and they may be trying to go for two in a row! However…this is from Twilight and you KNOW HOW MUCH I HATE THAT MOVIE. 2. Ikimonogakari – Kimagure Romanteikku (Last Week #3)
Ikimonogakari is one step away once again! They have moved into the runner up spot, taking advantage of Halcali’s stumble. Can they do what they could not with “Bluebird” in 2007 and take the crown? Well, to do so they will have to knock off the reigning queen! 1.BoA – Eat You Up [Korean Version] (Last Week #1, Three Weeks at #1)
BoA is eating up the competition in 2009! She ended last year at number one and she holds on yet again for a third straight week! Can I just say that I am looking forward to her arrival in America? Hopefully people will embrace her because I am getting sick of Britney. REAL SICK. Let’s go, BoA!
That is all for this first Countdown of the New Year! Tune in next week to see if BoA can make it a full month at number one! Or will Ikimonogakari finally take the top spot? Or can Paramore return to glory and solidify their rank of best rock band on the Countdown? See you in seven to find out!
Well, SUPPOSEDLY Griff is back so he will be catching a beating this weekend for being a dick. Next week it is back to the grind of working (BOOOOO!) but I will have the Omnibus up before then. Last chance for questions! Stay up ya’ll!
Okay, maybe I wasn’t paying attention. Maybe I blocked it out. Maybe the shit just aint that important. But still, it has to be said…
HIS FULL FUCKING NAME IS SOULJA BOY TELL’EM?!
Um…what?! What the hell does that even mean?! You see, this is why Black people can’t never have nothing! NIGGAS ALWAYS FUCK IT UP WITH THEIR DUMB ASS DIPSHITTERY! How is anyone going to take rap seriously when your name is a DISJOINTED QUASI-STATEMENT?! I mean…DAMN IT! WHY ARE YOU ALIVE BUT TUPAC IS DEAD?! Oh yeah, drive by. Well, I still think it is stupid. God, I hope he pulls a T.I. and ends up in jail.
Alright, ladies here is some helpful advice to you because…it is obvious your dumb asses aint listening:
Lip Injections = Stupid
I understand why you do this. You want fuller lips. But lets face it: if you don’t HAVE full lips, no amount of collagen injections are going to make you look any better. The next woman to say “I do it for me!” is getting slapped because if Ike Turner has taught me anything it is that why take your lip with a lip can be broken. Or naturally swollen. See, getting popped in the mouth can make you sexy! In all seriousness I do not get what the influx with this is. At first I thought it was just few and far between but I have seen about 10 women this week with them and all I have to say is that they didn’t look attractive. They looked like a character from Spongebob Squarepants. Or Jessica Simpson: WHO LOOKS LIKE A CHARACTER ON SPONGEBOB FUCKING SQUAREPANTS! Ladies, that is how you look when you get your lips pumped up with marshmallow fluff or whatever that shit is. Seriously…stop. If a man is willing to judge you for your lips then he aint worth dating. On the flipside, if you are a woman that believes that having them helps your self esteem then you also aint worth shit. You are no better than Barry Bonds, and at least he got millions of dollars and a white girl by using steroids. Oh, and he ruined baseball for some people but those guys were losers. Baseball got ruined when they made Sandlot 2. You can not top THE SANDLOT.
What is up, people! Well, we have 364 days, 52 weeks and 51 Fridays for Chachi’s Top 20 Countdown. Now, we add them all up and find out after 24 number one videos and several others coming close…who had the biggest video of 2008? Well sit back, grab a drink and check out the 100 biggest videos of the year before you head out and drink yourself stupid! It is time for…
Chachi’s Top 100 Videos of the Year End Extravaganza Disco Dancing Party!
Long ass name I will admit. Let’s get this Countdown party started right!
100. James Morrison – You Give Me Something
We start with James Morrison, who made a pretty low-key debut when this song was featured in a commercial for the FX lineup. Well, this song is bleeping awesome and that is why it is on here. Oddly enough, he never really followed it up with anything which is lame because he grew on me after a while. 99. Jewelry – Everybody Shhh!!! 98. Inoue Joe - Closer 97. Leona Lewis – Bleeding Love 96. New Kids on the Block – Summertime 95. YA-KYIM respects KOME KOME CLUB – Kimi Ga Iru Dake De 94. RSP with DA BUBBLE GUM BROTHERS – LA.LA.LA LOVE SONG 93. ASIAN KUNG FU GENERATION – After Dark 92. Yuna Ito – Urban Mermaid 91. Aqua Timez – Velonica 90. Paramore - Decode 89. Nana Mizuki – TRICKSTER 88. Uhm Jung Hwa featuring TOP – D.I.S.C.O.
Okay, first off this song is fricking awesome. Second off, this video is fricking trippy. Third off I TOTALLY ALMOST PULLED THIS OFF AT KARAOKE LAST NIGHT! Sadly, I only know the hook which is English and easy Korean but still. This is one of those videos that flew under the radar until the end of the year for me and I am glad I saw it because it is great! 87. Big Bang - Lies 86. Maroon 5 – Goodnight, Goodnight 85. T.I. – Whatever You Like 84. Chris Brown – With You 83. Big Bang – Number 1 82. UVERworld – Just Break The Limit! 81. Colbie Caillat – Realize 80. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Remember 79. Yuna Ito – Miss You 78. Rihanna – Take A Bow 77. Alicia Keys - Superwoman 76. Halcali – LONG KISS GOODBYE 75. Aqua Timez - Niji 74. Seamo feat Ayuse Kozue - Honey 73. Game featuring Lil’ Wayne – My Life 72. Hearts Grow - Kasanaru Kage 71. Snoop Dogg – Sexual Seduction 70. Tommy Heavenly6 – PAPER MOON
Wizard of Oz + hot Japanese lady rock singer = LOVE! First off, when I heard this as the opening to Soul Eater I was all over it (Especially after it followed TM REVOLUTION!). Combine that with a great video and you have the number 70 video. Not hard to do the math on that. 69. Alicia Keys – Teenage Love Affair 68. Ikimonogakari – Kimagure Romantic 67. Chris Brown - Forever 66. UVERworld – Hakanaku mo Towa no Kanashi 65. Southern All-Stars – I AM YOUR SINGER 64. Ne-Yo – Closer 63. RBD - Empezar Desde Cero
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BREAK UP?! In what may be RBD’s last video, they really just did what they always do: LOOK DAMN HOT. Especially Anahi. She reminds me of a girl I once knew…she was special. VIVA LA REBELEDE!!! 62. Kumi Koda - Taboo 61. Rain – Love Story 60. YUI – I’ll Be 59. L`Arc~en~Ciel – DRINK IT DOWN 58. Bennie K feat SOFFet – Music Traveler 57. NLT – He Said, She Said
You know, NLT really disappointed me. After their first video, I never heard from them after that. However, I was all about this song because I was going through my Timbaland phase like I am going through my Runners phase now. That and boybands are awesome. 56. Lupe Fiasco – Hip Hop Saved My Life 55. Usher – Moving Mountains 54. The Roots feat. Chrisette Michelle & Wale – Rising Up 53. Nelly Furtado – In God’s Hands 52. Hyori Lee – Hey Mr. Big! 51. DJ Khaled featuring Kanye West & T-Pain – Go Hard 50. T.I. featuring Alfamega & Busta Rhymes – Hurt 49. FLOW – WORLD END 48. Erykah Badu - Honey 47. Jazmine Sullivan – I Need You Bad 46. The Roots feat Dice Raw & Peedi Crack – Get Busy 45. UVERworld – ROOTS 44. Lupe Fiasco featuring Matt Santos – Superstar
Okay, this was actually one of my favorite videos of late 2007 because I am kind of a Lupe Fiasco stan. However, due to YouTube blocking the shit out of everything last year it was never officially on the Countdown. So this is a bit of a thanks to Lupe for changing hip hop a little for us. 43. John Legend – Show Me 42. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Amazing 41. Lil Wayne featuring Static Major - Lollipop 40. YUI – Laugh Away 39. Ikimonogakari – Bluebird 38. Mihimaru GT - Diverge 37. BACK-ON – Sands of Time 36. YUI - NAMIDAIRO 35. NERD featuring Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pusha-T – Everybody Nose (Remix) 34. UVERworld - Koishikute 33. T.I. – What Up, What’s Happenin’ 32. KELUN – SIXTEEN GIRL 31. RBD - Inalcanzable 30. Rain – Rainism
IT WAS THE YEAR OF RAIN! Bi made his comeback this year after laying kind of low in 2007 (Rain’s World Vol IV came out in 2006) in a big way! An album considered for Album of the Year and one of the most visually entertaining videos of the year! Rain isn’t coming…IT’S BACK! 29. Ikimonogakari – Kimagure Romantic 28. Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl 27. YUI – SUMMER SONG 26. Alicia Keys – Like You’ll Never See Me Again (One Week at #1) 25. Foxxi MisQ – X.B.F. (One Week at #1) 24. Game featuring Keyshia Cole – Game’s Pain (One Week at #1) 23. KELUN – CHU-BURA (One Week at #1) 22. May J. – Do Tha’, Do Tha’ (One Week at #1)
In a year of artists getting their first number one videos after being held back multiple times (Game, Paramore, Foxxi MisQ and Hearts Grow for starters), May J started the trend of redemption! Not only was this one of the hottest videos of 2008 (Not involving lolis I mean. Sun I am looking at you! Damn you, Wonder Girls!) but it was one of the best dancing sequences as well…not done by Rain of course. I MISS MY MAY J! 21. Wonder Girls – Nobody (One Week at #1) 20. T.I. – No Matter What (One Week at #1) 19. Kanye West featuring Chris Martin – Homecoming (One Week at #1) 18. John Legend featuring Andre 3000 – Green Light (One Week at #1) 17. NaNa – Movin On (Six Weeks at #1, One Week at #1 in 2008) 16. Duffy – Warrick Avenue 15. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – HOT LIMIT (Two Weeks at #1)
WHY GOD WHY?! First RBD broke up and to cap off the worst year ever, HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR are breaking up as well! Luckily, one of the videos they had as their swan song was a cover of the TM REVOLUTION CLASSIC! This video was number one before you could blink and for a final hurrah it was well worth it. I will miss you Hiroko! 14. NaNa – SHOW GIRL (Two Weeks at #1) 13. Paramore – That’s What You Get (Two Weeks at #1) 12. Kanye West – Love Lockdown (Two Weeks at #1) 11. Fonzworth Bentley featuring Kanye West & Andre 3000 – Everybody (Don’t Stop) [Two Weeks at #1]
AND NOW WE ARE DOWN TO THE TEN BIGGEST VIDEOS OF 2008!
10. Wonder Girls – So Hot (Two Weeks at #1)
We begin with the tenth biggest video of 2008! The Wonder Girls made their triumphant return to the K-Pop world and solidified my vendetta against Chris Hansen. This video is hilarious and yet surprisingly awesome at the same time. And yet I cannot shake the feeling every single time I watch this video, the party van comes a little closer to my house. 9. Usher feat Young Jeezy – Love In This Club (Three Weeks at #1)
At number nine we have the returning Usher! I had a threat-watch for Usher just as I did for Rain and Usher heeded my threat and came out with a kick ass video this year. Not only was the song great, he brought along hip hop’s biggest surprise in Young Jeezy which began HIS huge year as well. More from him later… 8. BoA – Eat You Up (Two Weeks at #1, Currently at #1)
BoA has returned! After only being released for about two months or so, BoA ranks in at number eight on 2088’s biggest videos! It is the current number one video and she has proven that she can dance and sing as well as her not as talented American counterparts. Oh, I so went there. This song is the ringtone, too! 7. Toshinobu Kobuta featuring Misia - Flying Easy Loving Crazy (Two Weeks at #1)
Kubota Toshinobu ft. MISIA-FLYING EASY LOVING CRAZY [PV] Uploaded by Ashelia The Legend finally gets his due! Toshinobu Kobuta was on the Countdown longer than any video in its three year history and even topped off that by taking the number one spot for two weeks this spring. It was well deserved for someone that has been laying it down for R&B in Japan for YEARS. 6. Hearts Grow – Sora (Three Weeks at #1)
When Hearts Grow breaks through, THEY BREAK THROUGH! After being held back from the top spot twice, the third time was the charm enough to put them at number six on the biggest videos of 2008, right outside of the Top Five! After a pretty lengthy journey, they not only took number one but took it for almost a month! Here is hoping for an album in 2009. We are down to FIVE! 5. Young Jeezy featuring Kanye West – Put On (Three Weeks at #1)
We begin the Top Five with one of the biggest suprises of 2008! Young Jeezy had been one of the mid-range rappers on the Countdown but this year he came out with a vengeance, pulling down the fifth biggest video of the year! This video was topical and hard at the same time. Let’s not forget he brought Kanye West along for the ride which always helps out. He put it on for the Countdown! 4. YA-KYIM – Super Looper (Three Weeks at #1)
So we move up to number four and we have the fine, sexy ladies of YA-KYIM! They had arguably the biggest year of all the female artists with this video. It was catchy, had great dancing and did I mention that Yurie is damn fine? Because if I didn’t…she SO IT. I totally love her.
WE ARE DOWN TO THE THREE BIGGEST VIDEOS OF 2008!
3. CRS (Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pharrell) featuring Thom Yorke – Us Placers (Four Weeks at #1)
Hard to believe that an obscure track on a Kanye West mixtape would be the third biggest video of 2008. Yet, when you have an outside of the box video such as this you have to take notice. The song is meaningful (Especially Pharrell who gains a new level of respect from me for this one) and the video is so different that you have to sit back and watch. Combine those factors and CRS takes the bronze! 2. T.I. featuring Rihanna – Live Your Life (Five Weeks at #1)
Okay, we are at the runner up spot and if it wasn’t for BoA, this video may have ended up being number one! However, since Eat You Up knocked it off, T.I. and Rihanna will have to take home the silver for 2008. T.I. actually had the biggest video of 2006 and after a slow 2007 he came back to have four videos in the Top 40! This was the crown jewel and tosses his hat in the ring for not only the King of the South, but the King of the Countdown! Well, with T.I. and Rihanna at number two, we KNOW WHO THE CHAMP IS! 1. Bennie K – Monochrome (Seven Weeks at #1)
The Queens are back! How fitting that one of the groups that made me fall in love with J-Pop have the biggest video of the year almost 10 years to the date I took to the whole Asian music scene? Well, if any video deserves it, it is Monochrome. It spent an ASTOUNDING seven weeks at number one this year and is hands down the biggest video on the Countdown for 2008, and maybe ever! Yuki and Cico are two of my faves and it will be interesting to see what 2009 brings!
That is all! Tune in Friday for the FIRST PASSION OF CHACHI TOP 20 VIDEO COUNTDOWN of 2009! Bennie K took it this year but look out for BoA, Ikimonogakari, Aqua Timez and even more Kanye West and Game! 2009 is looking up!
Well, I want to thank everyone who visited the blog this year. Whether you cared about the Countdown or not, it is good to have you visit and take a look. Stay tuned for the 2008 Year In Review Omnibus which I will work on tomorrow (Once I sober up and all…) and have up this weekend. If you still have questions to ask, lay them on me before then. Thank you again to all of the fans out there and I will put in the work to keep you coming. Until next time, stay up peeps. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
