Okay, I posted this blog in March of this year because I was getting really irritated with the niggerdom of women. Then it hit me that women had become the niggas of 2008 much like Bros had taken their spot (I may re-post that blog tomorrow) as being whiney, stupid fuckwits that have no concept that self-respect is SELF-RESPECT. But that is beyond the point. So, in my ultimate wisdom (And uber-exaustion) I have reposted one of my favorite rants of 2008: Women are the new niggas. Re-read, relive and enjoy yo self.
So yesterday Zach and I had a very insightful conversation about that bimbo game that was made in England (Brits…like sober Japanese people) and we were talking about how women always claim to be “exploited” and “portrayed unfairly” when LITERALLY half the time these images are either being created or perpetuated by women themselves. How many times have women claimed that they are made to live up to an naturally unattainable version of beauty that is created and reinforced by men yet women THEMSELVES are creating fashion lines that cut off the circulation to their legs and creating bras that lift and separate to the point that your breasts need a tourniquet? What really irks me is the fact that the rational that women give that “well, at least it is a woman making the money rather than a man!” Wow, that is some niggerish logic right there.
Wait a minute…EUREKA! It is all making sense! The constant double standards! The total lack of logic about their views of equality! Feigned individuality and independence which is actually a cloak for total conformity! The love of fat white women! The love of gaudy jewelry! The horrible, HORRIBLE fashion sense! It is official!
Women are the new niggas.
It’s true, IT IS SO TRUE! So today, I have YET ANOTHER RANT and it is something that just hit me so bare with my progression as this is all coming off top of head. So today, I give the peeps….
Passion of Chachi Presents: Chachi’s Five Reasons Why!
Today’s Topic: Five Reasons Why….Women Are The New Black.
Yeah…I am totally losing readers with this one.
Reason #1: Women Are The New Black Because….They Exploit Themselves.
Where to start, where to START? Remember all those 1970’s blaxiplotiation movies? They were created because of the lack of roles for Black actors in movies and the roles that WERE available were roles of pimp, drug dealer and other ne’er-do-wells. So Blacks created movies themselves that gave them new roles….of pimps, drug dealers and other ne’er-do-wells. Yes they were being put in less than flattering roles, but dammit they were getting the money and not the white man!
Now let’s look at women. Women were only cast in roles if they were pleasing to the eye, docile or demure, a total bulldike or if they fit the role of angry/ugly shrew woman or slut. Then women didn’t want these roles and wanted to be cast in roles that showed the full spectrum of the female experience. So women made their own shows and got their own networks (Lifetime, Oxygen, The WB/UPN or the CW for not just women but Black women, too) to make shows and create roles for all women. Yet…when you think of the show that all women love the most it is “Sex In The City.” Who are the characters in that show? A woman that is pleasing to the eye, a docile character that SO wants to fall in love and get married, a total bulldike and an angry (and old) slut. So…what was the difference between before and after? Just because the book the show is based on was written by a woman it makes it okay? Bullcrap. The fact is, just like the reason Blacks were (and in some cases are) exploited is that they did it themselves. Same for women.
Think I am wrong? Look at all the women with sex tapes out there. Now women want to blame the man for these videos and their mass distribution but think about it. The women have to AGREE to have the video distributed before it gets into mass production. Now I know the internet can screw with that but that is the unknown. What we do know is that these videos are rarely on HIDDEN cameras and the women are aware of every second of video. So when it hits the internet or the streets, they KNOW with past issues with this that it is not only probable, it is inevitable that the video was going to be seen and that they also can make a hefty sum from it. So in essence, they are no better than porn stars. Actually, they are NOT better than porn stars because porn stars are professionals. They are like baseball players: they start in the minor leagues (gonzo) until they make it to the show (Vivid, Wicked). The fact is that when there is money or the chance for stardom involved, women are no better than anyone else. Which leads me to my next reason.
Reason #2: Women Are The New Black Because….They Don’t Respect Themselves.
Gone are the days of Poor Righteous Teachers and KRS-One telling Black people to read a damn book and get a real damn job. The Civil Rights Movement is long gone and quite simply Black people got an inch and wanted to become a ruler. Which is fine it you use that rule to change the status quo but when you traded in that ruler for spinning rims and a giant necklace that says “Stack Dat Cheese” you really negate what so many Blacks took ass-whoopins’, dog bites and fire hoses for. They fought for your right to get into a prestigious college and apply and compete for a job that you couldn’t even get into the building to apply for. Not for your stupid ass to put $15,000 rims on a $5,000 car. So THAT is what my grandparents marched for?! For you to put four TV screens in a FUCKING CUTLASS SUPREME?! GOD DAMMIT! The simple fact is that despite all the work that was done in the 60’s and 70’s to help give Blacks some respectability Blacks (And Ronald Reagan’s evil ass, but mostly Blacks), it has been undone with the crap done in the last 10 years or so by Nelly, 50 Cent and Nick Cannon.
Now let’s look at woman. A long time ago, women weren’t allowed to vote. It was a better, simpler time. However, women wanted their voices to be heard and they stepped out of the kitchen and marched and protested for their rights. From that point on, women were bitching (And I mean that in the most respectful way possible) their way to equality. From entering toe workplace to Title IX women fought long and hard to get to a playing field where they could compete fairly against men. So how are they thanked for all the hard work they put blazing a path for women to be seen as equals? My Sweet Sixteen?! Okay, so you have the right to vote and play sports just like men. You can apply for any job and yet you decide that your goal as a teenager is to be a spoiled little rich whore?
Well that is just fricking peachy! THIS is why women are in this state right now. I mean if you don’t respect the fact that others paved the way for you to achieve more than be eye candy or a housewife then you should never….EVER complain about the perception of women. Now some women want to be a housewife and that is fine. I believe that someone needs to raise kids before they get to the age I have to use my tax dollars pay for their ass being in prison for because mommy and daddy didn’t love the little fuck enough. As for women being happy as eye candy. Well, I know a lot of people say if you got it flaunt it. Just like Black men “ball till they fall” because they can’t take the money with them, that is a logical sentiment and I can understand that. However, if you ARE going to decide to use your body to get what you want whether it be money, free drinks or attention remember that with great power comes great responsibility. Women (and several Black celebs) believe in the credo “all the power with no responsibility” because it seems that they want to be catty and petty about other women and be able to judge others freely but when people question them they are “insulting their freedom as a woman.” I have to call bullshit on that. Your freedom as a woman doesn’t mean wantonly freejacking with your clothes off all over the club like your name is Mick Jagger but when someone takes a picture you have been “violated.” If you use the freedom of getting drunk and acting stupid in front of a group of guys, you have to understand and accept the responsibility of the fact that the video of your asshatery will end up on “Girls Gone Wild.” Just like I know that I have the freedom to wear all red to look fashionable, but I understand and accept the responsibility that some random niggas may not appreciate me all up in they hood in the wrong colors. Fair? Not really. Reality. You got that right. Until you respect yourself enough to wear some clothes, no one will.
Reason #3: Women Are The New Black Because….They Don’t Respect Each Other.
This rolls right back into reason number two. You know how the big thing in the 1990’s was “stop black on black crime?” Did it ever really stop? I mean honestly, Black people spend more time hating other Black people than they ever do hating the White man. I will be the first to admit that. Not only that, Black people not only not respect themselves or each other but they try as hard as they can to make sure other Blacks don’t succeed. Hip Hop beefs, anyone? Hell, look at how many Black women don’t like Barack Obama. They would rather vote for a Black man with a WHITE WIFE than a Black man with a BLACK WIFE. For the slow, that is a joke on how niggas would always say that Bill Clinton was the first Black president. If you missed that, I’m sorry but I keeps it funny. The Haterade that flows in the Black community is enough to hydrate all of Africa (Although all the electrolytes would give them the energy to keep fucking and spreading AIDS so maybe that isn’t the best idea) and is only outdone by one section of people.
WOMEN
I have never met a pettier, snider, conniving and pure hateful and mean set of people in my life….except Koreans. And Korean women….you may as well just stop and get your stuff and leave because they are crazy. I kid, they are great sometimes. I have never seen a group of people that hate each other more than women. And for no good reason, either! I dated a girl in college that DESPISED her best friend because she thought she was a whore. Now what was even more funny is that this was after we started talking again after she cheated (Yeah, I am kind of a punk) and I thought to myself “Her promiscuity aside…you are a cheater. Wouldn’t that default make you a bigger whore?” Now I never asked that question because I wasn’t as ballsy then as I am now but where is the logic in that? A woman that has cheated on her boyfriend thinks a woman that has had multiple sexual partners but not “boyfriends” is a whore. Is that just semantics or plain stupidity?
You see, a friend of mine told me that women are perpetually unhappy. They HAVE to have something to hate (God…just like Black people. I AM GOOD!) because women don’t have this little thing called “logic.” Now they know OF logic, but the usage of it is foreign much like the usage of emotions are new territory for about 90% of men unless it is anger, horny or angorny (or the emotion that drives bukkake and the rest of the Japanese porn industry). So women have to be mad about something for the attention and the creation of drama. Since men try to avoid drama at all costs and just invest in jewelry/flowers/gifts to steer that train of illogical woman emotional treachery down another track (I meet it head on like Bruce Banner. HULK SMASH YOUR ILLOGICAL STUPIDITY WITH BRAIN POWER!) the only way women can unleash their misplaced unhappiness is other women. Much like niggas place their anger about being lazy shit on other niggas. Hence….a nigga moment. Therefore, women’s main nemesis is other women because they are the only ones that will go down the ratholes they go. Not only that, they are the only ones that understand their illogical thought processes….just like niggas. Man, this is GOLD.
Reason #4: Women Are The New Black Because….Only They Get Each Other.
At the end of the day, women claim to be complex creatures. The truth is, you are not. Women are simple to read and simple to understand because just think of the most logical thing to do and they will think the EXACT OPPOSITE. That thought process literally has helped me understand women at about an 88% clip. Sad but true. Zach can attest to this point because he has taken Women’s Studies classes as much as I have. However, I actually had to interact with them outside of class in several events and projects because I was part of the women’s awareness group at school. After listening to them, I learned that women have to hang out with other women because they don’t make any real sense….except to other women. That is why they hate each other so much because they know no one else really understands them but they are by nature an unhappy breed so they end up at each others throats more often than not. Just like Black men in the streets. They know no one thinks that selling drugs is a legitimate form of work except for others in the streets…but they gotta make that cheddar too.
Guys, you ever sit back and listen to two women talk about something and you wonder how two people can both have such an illogical view on the same subject that isn’t based on any rational thought whatsoever? Because women thrive on conformity. They need to be in a pack in order to be appreciated or need to be the center of attention in order to feel needed. That is why women travel in packs and when one breaks off after a guy is talking to her they all wander around like wolves that lost the alpha male. They NEED each other. At the same time, they are thinking of ways to off that bitch so that someone else can take lead position. See: “Mean Girls.” Even though women will always call men dogs and whatnot, it is obvious that women are more in need of the group support than men are. They are in need of affirmation of decisions (usually bad) and they will only get that from women or dudes that want to hit it. As one who has given up on sex as a whole (too many…or too few bad experiences, I guess) I have no real reason to care what a woman thinks of me so if they ask me something about anything I will let them know no matter whether it hurts their feelings or not. Now that alienates me from a lot of people but I have a great corps or peeps that I am down to right for. Now some women are okay with hearing the truth because no matter what, a woman is going to do what they want to anyway because they run under the “I am a woman, so I can!” ideal that results in so many bad things happening. When those things happen, I stop and say “did you need to be in that situation?” For a woman, the situation doesn’t matter; all they care about is the end result. That is an insane process of rationality (It is like the Underpants Gnome Theory) which women pretty much THRIVE ON. In parallel, Black people live on the “Wish Theory” as in “I wish a nigga would” as Cedric the Entertainer so eloquently put it. Since I don’t live by that concept, I rarely get along with Black people. Since I believe that rational thought trumps baseless emotional processes (“I can cheat because its my right and all men cheat” which sounds eerily like “I am Black so I can be racist because all White people are racist” because both make no fucking sense unless you are full of estrogen or high…which women and niggas are both respectively) the only person that will understand a woman’s jacked up point of view is a woman. Or a nigga. It’s why they date. Black women….now you know. And YOUR WELCOME!
Reason #5: Women Are The New Black Because….Both Are Fashion Misfits.
Man, you have no idea how true this is. Two words: Soulja Boy. The man looks like HR Puffenstuff ate him, threw him up and then coughed up some extra bile to make his ugly ass glasses. As a matter of fact, go to the mall. Right now. The Black mall, not the white one. Then, just look at the fashions of Black males and any female. Go ahead, I’ll wait. I will watch some Kelun:
Now THAT’S music. You back? What did you see? A bunch of color clashing mouthbreathers with ugly sunglasses and tacky coats. Now I will admit I have some big sunglasses but I don’t look like Bono mated with a retarded muppet. Have you seen how women dress now days? They look like a stripper with poor color selection. You don’t think that is enough for me to say that women are just like niggas? Well, lets break it down like this. Both niggas and bitches love:
1. Sunglasses: I will admit, I like sunglasses. But both women and Black dudes have an asinine amount of sunglasses. And they always have to tell you about them. Whether it be “OMG, look at my new sunglasses!” or “Nigga, check this shit out!” they both love them more than…actual fashion
2. Regular Glasses: Now I believe that women wear them not because they need them (You ever seen them drive?) but because they think that glasses make them look smarter and cancel out all the whore in them. Wow, the whoriest women I knew wore glasses. Better to see the wang with, I guess. Oh, and niggas love glasses because it makes them look credible as a rapper or a defendant. Or both. Gangstas don’t wear glasses!
3. Long shirts: The only difference is that thugs wear long white shirts as shirts. Women wear them like they are clothing. Just so you know, a long shirt isn’t a skirt; it is just a long shirt. Put on some fucking pants; quit being a fashion deficient dipshit.
4. Shoes: Once again, I am all about this. But niggas don’t have any functional shoes. You cant wear S-Dots or G-Unit sneakers to work. And if you can, get a real fucking job. As for women: if your shoes hurt your feet; don’t wear them. That simple. You may think those heels are cute, but they really say “swallowing is extra!” They are called hooker boots and stripper heels for a reason. You don’t want to be known as one, don’t wear them. When I wore all red I was thought to be a Blood even though I wasn’t. Same fucking thing.
5. Belts: Niggas wear belt buckles that have an LED scroll. Women wear belts that don’t hold up their pants. Both non-purpose, both non-functional, both fucking stupid.
6. Jewelry: Don’t even GET me started. Do the words “bling bling” ring a bell? At least niggas get on the grind for their money. Dealing drugs, making repetitive rap beats, catching touchdowns. Hey work for it. Women expect that shit to be given to them. Wow, I guess niggas got a one up on the ladies.
7. Tattoos: Oy vey. Ladies….a tattoo on the small of the back is not original. No matter what the art, I don’t give a fuck if you dug up Di Vinci, reanimated him and held a gun to his head while he recreated the Sistine Chapel on your waistline. Its not original, you are a conformist. Just admit it and stop lying to yourself and acting like you are “sooooo unique.” Lying hussy. Same for niggas. Getting tattoos on your stomach aren’t sexy and they aren’t “street.” They are fucking stupid and look stupid, too. Spend the money from that tattoo and buy some books.
Oh, I am SO NOT DONE WITH TATTOOS! This is a big point of contention with me, not because people get them. If you want to mutilate your body, be my guest. My irritation is how women and niggas act like it is such a form of individuality and self expression. Um…it isn’t. It is a branding of conformity. You want to be an individual, staple a ferret to your head. You want to follow with the crowd? Get a tattoo. Also, of you get (Or have) any of the following tattoos:
• A butterfly (ESPECIALLY ON A DUDE. That reeks of gay, and I have seen six dudes kissing five dudes. Ladies….just no. Seriously…just no)
• Picture of a relative (Dead or alive. Your tattoo aint bringing them back from the dead. If it did, it would be shot in the head because then they would be a zombie and they eat brains. Congrats, you are infecting people with the T-Virus because of your lame ass memoriam)
• Any religious symbols or icons (I am sure when Jesus was nailed to the plank, he was saying “Man, I hope some ignorant ass niggas and women insecure in their whoredom get tattoos of me! On their back!” See, when you think about that, it doesn’t make the crucifix on your spine seem like such a logical decision on how to remember the third greatest fictional character of all time. Logic, peeps. It’s spreading.
• Kanji or characters (Listen here and listen good. The Japanese don’t get the word “death” or “life” tattoos on their asscrack in English. Please give them the same courtesy. I love the Asian culture as much as the next anime & j-pop fan but I don’t have “BANKAI” tattooed on me for a reason. It’s plain stupid.
• Roses/Tribal (If people have these and the JUST GOT THEM I believe you should have legal right to actually staple barbed wire or thorns into their arms. It would hurt about the same and hopefully you would catch a blood infection and die. Because you would deserve it for getting a tattoo that was only cool in the late 90’s by brain-dead Marines and strippers.
• Your Own Design: I Touched on this earlier. It is NOT your design; it has been done by someone on this planet of SIX BILLION FUCKING PEOPLE! Unless you get a tattoo of a pirate riding on a winged grizzly bear that is breathing fire while said pirate is having sex with three geishas with gummi bears for nipples and the bear is attacking a five headed Hydra being rode by Roy Orbison high on smack and holding a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 while tossing off a drunken transvestite dressed as the Statue of Liberty singing “Lost In Your Eyes” by Debbie Gibson while Debbie Gibson is actually there giving some rimwork to said transvestite all in Wembley Stadium with fireworks and Foreigner playing in the background on a sea of tapioca pudding…you don’t have an original design. And I am sure someone has THAT, which would actually be pretty bad ass.
In closing, women have taken on all the traits of niggas just like bros have taken on all the traits of the insecurites of women. In the end, there is one thing that women, niggas and bros all love: Lil Jon.
I will admit….I will miss him when he is in prison. Overall women and niggas are the same people. It is why interracial dating is on the rise. You gotta love who loves you, and since they all have the same faults it is a match made in heaven. Now that they have found love, what are they gonna do? With it? Anyway, if you are a Black woman…you are kind of on the outside looking in. There is always Asians!
Well, that pretty much sums it up. If you disagree with this then you are either a dumb bitch or a nigga and either way need to STOP BEING A DUMBASS. It cures alot of shit. I will be back with the Countdown on Friday and a recap of my first week of work odds are on Sunday night. Stay up, ya'll and bundle up! It's gonna be a cold night so get by the fire!
Chachi Out
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Beyonce: Fucking Up My Comic Book World Since Last Thursday.
Okay, first things first. I think that beatings should be delivered to ANYONE that holds up 4 MILES WORTH OF TRAFFIC to look at the aftermath of an accident. I mean seriously, what the fuck are you accomplishing by douching up the highway? It’s rude and fucks up everyone’s day. Dickweeds.
On a completely other front, I read on the intarwebz that Beyonce wanted to be cast as “Wonder Woman.” Yes, the DC Comics badass Wonder Woman. To a lesser extent, the invisible jet flying, spinning, Lynda Carter Wonder Woman:
Um…I must be the ONLY person to not find that hot, rather really stupid. Now put me some Sara Varone in that outfit and WE GOTS BUSINESS. However, what pisses me off is her dumb ass fucking reason of WHY her ass should be Wonder Woman:
“I want to do a superhero movie and what would be better than Wonder Woman? It would be great. And it would be a very bold choice. A black Wonder Woman would be a powerful thing. It’s time for that, right?”
…..okay, first off the answer is no. It is NOT FUCKING TIME for a marginally talented singer cum actress to become one of the few female comic book icons that wasn’t Black. Now as you may know, or if you don’t know I don’t fucking CARE, I am kind of a comic book purist. I like my Captain America to be White, my Green Lantern to be Black (Yes, John Stewart is the best one. COME GET SOME, COMIC BOOK NERDS!) and my Wonder Women to be…I dunno…GREEK? Yes, I know the Greek are a very swarthy people and they are a stone’s throw away from being Turks. However, I see no need for Beyonce to even THINK that she should be Wonder Woman. For several reasons:
1. Wonder Woman was an Amazon. Beyonce may have a big ass but she is not an imposing presence. You are talking about someone that has taken on Hades, Asmodel, Doomsday, Darksied (I believe, someone correct me on that if needed) and even Pale Martians. The worst KIND of Martians aside from the Irish Martians. Drunk little anal probers.
2. Wonder Woman was a Warrior. Should would kill Xena without even looking twice and whipped up on Superman. Give her a sword and a compass and she could kill a Kraken. Beyonce has only killed tight jeans and The Pink Panther. The latter…not in a good way. I do not want to see Beyonce fighting in a realistic aspect.
3. Wonder Woman was Greek…kinda. Created of clay (Yes, TAN clay but still clay) she is not Black. Not even half-Black. Hell, until she met John Stewart and Vixen, she had never met Black people I am sure. You can say “well, it is time for a Black Wonder Woman!” to which I respond “IT IS TIME FOR A WONDER WOMAN, JACKASS!” I also respond with “Black Punisher.” Look it up; it sucked and set the Civil Rights Movement back another two years.
The long and short of it is that Beyonce sure as fuck better not play Wonder Woman. The fact she played the race card (She did, it is right there in her dumbass quote) completely discounts the character itself and quite simply a fucked over comic book community that I have to say probably doesn’t WANT her to be Wonder Woman. Ask any of the writers and artists and I would figure they would be against putting her in because she can’t act, she looks nothing like Wonder Woman and most importantly CAN’T FUCKING ACT! Wonder Woman isn’t Shakespeare but it sure as fuck deserves better than some dumb bitch that has such a range of songwriting ability (Or songwriting acceptance because I aint sure she writes her own music) with the ability to pen “Freak ‘Em Dress” and “If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it.” Yeah, THAT says female empowerment and the embodiment of a goddess. Screams jackass to me. She plays Wonder Woman, we boycott.
That’s all for now. I will try to get something up for Thursday night and the Countdown on Friday. Oh, and don't forget: Soju party downtown on Saturday! GET YO ASS DOWN THERE, BITCHES!
Chachi Out
On a completely other front, I read on the intarwebz that Beyonce wanted to be cast as “Wonder Woman.” Yes, the DC Comics badass Wonder Woman. To a lesser extent, the invisible jet flying, spinning, Lynda Carter Wonder Woman:
Um…I must be the ONLY person to not find that hot, rather really stupid. Now put me some Sara Varone in that outfit and WE GOTS BUSINESS. However, what pisses me off is her dumb ass fucking reason of WHY her ass should be Wonder Woman:
“I want to do a superhero movie and what would be better than Wonder Woman? It would be great. And it would be a very bold choice. A black Wonder Woman would be a powerful thing. It’s time for that, right?”
…..okay, first off the answer is no. It is NOT FUCKING TIME for a marginally talented singer cum actress to become one of the few female comic book icons that wasn’t Black. Now as you may know, or if you don’t know I don’t fucking CARE, I am kind of a comic book purist. I like my Captain America to be White, my Green Lantern to be Black (Yes, John Stewart is the best one. COME GET SOME, COMIC BOOK NERDS!) and my Wonder Women to be…I dunno…GREEK? Yes, I know the Greek are a very swarthy people and they are a stone’s throw away from being Turks. However, I see no need for Beyonce to even THINK that she should be Wonder Woman. For several reasons:
1. Wonder Woman was an Amazon. Beyonce may have a big ass but she is not an imposing presence. You are talking about someone that has taken on Hades, Asmodel, Doomsday, Darksied (I believe, someone correct me on that if needed) and even Pale Martians. The worst KIND of Martians aside from the Irish Martians. Drunk little anal probers.
2. Wonder Woman was a Warrior. Should would kill Xena without even looking twice and whipped up on Superman. Give her a sword and a compass and she could kill a Kraken. Beyonce has only killed tight jeans and The Pink Panther. The latter…not in a good way. I do not want to see Beyonce fighting in a realistic aspect.
3. Wonder Woman was Greek…kinda. Created of clay (Yes, TAN clay but still clay) she is not Black. Not even half-Black. Hell, until she met John Stewart and Vixen, she had never met Black people I am sure. You can say “well, it is time for a Black Wonder Woman!” to which I respond “IT IS TIME FOR A WONDER WOMAN, JACKASS!” I also respond with “Black Punisher.” Look it up; it sucked and set the Civil Rights Movement back another two years.
The long and short of it is that Beyonce sure as fuck better not play Wonder Woman. The fact she played the race card (She did, it is right there in her dumbass quote) completely discounts the character itself and quite simply a fucked over comic book community that I have to say probably doesn’t WANT her to be Wonder Woman. Ask any of the writers and artists and I would figure they would be against putting her in because she can’t act, she looks nothing like Wonder Woman and most importantly CAN’T FUCKING ACT! Wonder Woman isn’t Shakespeare but it sure as fuck deserves better than some dumb bitch that has such a range of songwriting ability (Or songwriting acceptance because I aint sure she writes her own music) with the ability to pen “Freak ‘Em Dress” and “If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it.” Yeah, THAT says female empowerment and the embodiment of a goddess. Screams jackass to me. She plays Wonder Woman, we boycott.
That’s all for now. I will try to get something up for Thursday night and the Countdown on Friday. Oh, and don't forget: Soju party downtown on Saturday! GET YO ASS DOWN THERE, BITCHES!
Chachi Out
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Kicking It Old School....Circa 2007. YOU SUCKAZ!
Can you say WINTER REPEAT?! BECAUSE I CAN!!
Check it out, from April of 2007. Here is some Classic Chachi
Anyway, I have had several discussions with a friend of mine about how men suck and women are stupid. Now I have given testimonials and irrefutable evidence of how women function on an illogical process of “All the power with none of the responsibility.” However, the question is what makes them like that? Well, I have proven that how they are brought up is a huge reason why a majority are like that (some mothers that teach daughters poorly about what men are, some fathers that don’t teach their daughters PERIOD, society and of course THE MEDIA) but the real reason is simple:
MEN ARE FUCKTARDS
There, I said it. This isn’t an attempt to apologize for what I have said in the past because I have proven that women are succubi several times. However, the a major catalyst for their stupidity and irrational and illogical actions are the fact that a GREAT MAJORITY OF MEN MAKE THEM THAT WAY! I have had to sit back for the last…shit 10 years or so and listen to my female friends complain, bitch and cry about how their boyfriends (and in some cases husbands which makes me uncomfortable like nothing else) treat them like crap and don’t address their concerns or feelings. After listening for a while I lost pity on them because they all said the same thing when I said ‘Well then quit putting up with it and leave!’
‘But we have so much history!’
First, Zach put down the gun. Put it down, we can shoot people later! I have a point to make. This puts it all in a nutshell. Jerks treat women like shit because they can. You see, women crave attention. It is true, don’t deny it. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter what KIND of attention it is. So if a man shows jealousy or is constantly letting you cause drama some women stay because they see that as growth of a relationship rather than a total regression to like the first grade. I have yet to completely grasp why women stay with jerks for so long but I guess it is stability. Wait, jerks don’t have jobs. They bum off their girlfriends and borrow their cars; that’s what makes them jerks. Wait, jerks cheat, don’t pay attention, treat them like idiots and verbally and even physically abuse (Yeah, when I heard about shit like that it made me want to regulate. Lo Pan style) women. So what makes them stay?
I know I say that I joke about everything, and domestic abuse is no exception (In old country, to beat is to love!). So lets put this into perspective. The first thing is that unless he is a total fucktard, no man is a joke from the beginning of a relationship. I have seen some where the dude is just a jerk from jump street and it is sad because some women just accept it as normal. A man will start off as normal and nice, but after a few weeks he may show some jerk qualities. At that point, women don’t do anything about it (questioning why he hasn’t called in three days or why he never answers the phone when it rings. Sounds intrusive but we are at war, some civil liberties need to be violated to keep us safe) and all of a sudden you have been dating a dude for five plus years that is constantly ignoring you and when he isn’t ignoring you he is treating you like shit. Congratulations, you have just been Jerk’d.
At this point a woman either leaves him in a HUGE huff and a chip on her shoulder only to see that he has a new woman in less than two weeks. He was SO cheating on you and you let it slide! Or even WORSE he leaves YOU and makes it seem like it was your fault (‘You are being possessive’ or ‘Its just not working’) AND gets another woman to boot (usually uglier, which TOTALLY pisses you off) while you go on a ‘I don’t need no man!’ trip and live like Samantha and Carrie from Sex in the City. Guess what? You know why they rarely found love? BECAUSE THEY LIVED LIKE FUCKTARD MEN! So when you go out and you live like a fucktard, you find a fucktard. Then you get your heart broken again and again by the same type of man over and over until you are ruined and hate men altogether. Congratulations, ladies. You have been Jerk’d.
I have taken women to task for letting this happen several times. The fact is that the reason this happens is that men treat them this way. With women outnumbering men slightly and the majority of men (you know what, after being on the frontlines of this for about 5-8 years, I can say about 70%, if not 75% of men treat women poorly in some way shape or form) being idiots and jerks I can see why women are disheartened by the situation of being single. For years either they or their friends have been used, abused and all around screwed over by men. I always say being screwed over is a two party system but the fact is that it shouldn’t begin in the first place.
The majority of men that are screwing over women are making those in the minority look REAL bad. It is like slaves that knew how to read. Other slaves didn’t like them because they weren’t happy in the field being a slave (women) and whites didn’t like them because they were trying to change the ‘natural order’ of things (jerks). That analogy makes sense if you think about it, albeit rather offensive. You see, the majority of men are all about trying to get sex from women. It has been like that for a long time. Women have been ingrained since…birth that this is the case from their mothers, television, music, movies and society as a whole. Now as a man if your main goal is NOT to have sex with a woman, you are the exception not the norm and rules are made for the norm. Therefore to a woman, you must be lying and trying to get in her pants. So either way, no matter what you do, you are vilified just as much if not MORE than a jerk because they think you are a liar and a cheat and if Oprah said it, it must be true.
On the other side of the spectrum is the jerk. Now, I have had this discussion with jerks several times and when you say that you aren’t about sex they look at you like you broke the Code of Silence. Like you came out of the closet in a foxhole during heavy enemy fire. So then other men think something is wrong with you because you don’t think just like them. It is fucking irritating. The majority of jerks buy Axe body wash and Tag body spray because they believe that women really come running if you wear it. I’m serious, they BELIEVE the commercials! I have heard them talk to the opposite sex and it is just…just wrong. Now I honestly believe that the term ‘game’ is really just ‘lies and bullshit.’ I have heard what constitutes as ‘game’ and the majority of it is ripped off from rappers/comedians/date movies/pick-up line books. Hell, after about 10 seconds it usually breaks into the ‘Wah wah wah wah wahwahwah’ from Charlie Brown so I wonder if women really listen (I have heard yes and no from different sources) or if the whole ‘a woman knows whether she is going to have sex with you blah blah blah yakkity smackity’ thing is true. If so, it explains a LOT of divorces and break-ups. Because of this, having an actual conversation is hard because women expect a ‘Shawty, can I buy yo draaaaaank?’ rather than ‘So how do you feel the geopolitical climate in Ghana effects the continent of Africa?’ What can I say….I is lame.
Finally, jerks have not only killed conversation they have lowered the expectations. From what I have gathered, women expect so little from men that when you display any form of not being ‘derrrrp!’ they get rather confused. Men have come off over the years as being so sex-crazed, boob-obsessed, chest-thumping, sports-worshiping, woman-clubbing troglodytes that when you aren’t like that…they think something is wrong with you and that you are (once again) lying and TOTALLY want to get in their pants or that you are gay. Let me tell you something ladies…that would just be devine! Wouldn’t it be delightful if the reason I have so many problems with women is because I am a homosexual? Yeah…sadly it aint that easy. As my love for Yuna Ito has proven…I loves the ladies but the ladies don’t love me. It’s….a conundrum.
Now I am not going to sit here and give anyone tips on how to get a woman because I totally SUCK at it. I can teach you how NOT to get one or how to lose one. That’s where I’m a Viking! Even still, I think that the majority of fucktards are ruining it for the minority that just want to be normal. By screwing over women and treating them like crap (Even though we can all agree, deep down it is what they want. Hell, I’ve gone BACK to women to be treated like crap! It replaces the need for love!) you mess it up for all of us. The simple fact is that women do stupid things to normal guys for dick moves made by a jerk. Now you have a set of jaded men that seem like jerks but are just like you: frickin pissed off because they were hurt. See, men and women aint so different. I leave you with this:
“Inside Every Jaded Man…Is A Broken Heart”
Pretty much sums me up, right? :( More Classic Chachi posts and re-do's of old rants to come. I think it gives a new look to the stuff that a lot of the current readers (All...two...of you) may have missed in previous years. That and I am going to be tired A LOT for the next week or so until I get back in the swing of commuting. Well, I'm out. New post on Wednesday if I am not to tired from driving. Peace out, ya'll!
Chachi Out
Check it out, from April of 2007. Here is some Classic Chachi
Anyway, I have had several discussions with a friend of mine about how men suck and women are stupid. Now I have given testimonials and irrefutable evidence of how women function on an illogical process of “All the power with none of the responsibility.” However, the question is what makes them like that? Well, I have proven that how they are brought up is a huge reason why a majority are like that (some mothers that teach daughters poorly about what men are, some fathers that don’t teach their daughters PERIOD, society and of course THE MEDIA) but the real reason is simple:
MEN ARE FUCKTARDS
There, I said it. This isn’t an attempt to apologize for what I have said in the past because I have proven that women are succubi several times. However, the a major catalyst for their stupidity and irrational and illogical actions are the fact that a GREAT MAJORITY OF MEN MAKE THEM THAT WAY! I have had to sit back for the last…shit 10 years or so and listen to my female friends complain, bitch and cry about how their boyfriends (and in some cases husbands which makes me uncomfortable like nothing else) treat them like crap and don’t address their concerns or feelings. After listening for a while I lost pity on them because they all said the same thing when I said ‘Well then quit putting up with it and leave!’
‘But we have so much history!’
First, Zach put down the gun. Put it down, we can shoot people later! I have a point to make. This puts it all in a nutshell. Jerks treat women like shit because they can. You see, women crave attention. It is true, don’t deny it. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter what KIND of attention it is. So if a man shows jealousy or is constantly letting you cause drama some women stay because they see that as growth of a relationship rather than a total regression to like the first grade. I have yet to completely grasp why women stay with jerks for so long but I guess it is stability. Wait, jerks don’t have jobs. They bum off their girlfriends and borrow their cars; that’s what makes them jerks. Wait, jerks cheat, don’t pay attention, treat them like idiots and verbally and even physically abuse (Yeah, when I heard about shit like that it made me want to regulate. Lo Pan style) women. So what makes them stay?
I know I say that I joke about everything, and domestic abuse is no exception (In old country, to beat is to love!). So lets put this into perspective. The first thing is that unless he is a total fucktard, no man is a joke from the beginning of a relationship. I have seen some where the dude is just a jerk from jump street and it is sad because some women just accept it as normal. A man will start off as normal and nice, but after a few weeks he may show some jerk qualities. At that point, women don’t do anything about it (questioning why he hasn’t called in three days or why he never answers the phone when it rings. Sounds intrusive but we are at war, some civil liberties need to be violated to keep us safe) and all of a sudden you have been dating a dude for five plus years that is constantly ignoring you and when he isn’t ignoring you he is treating you like shit. Congratulations, you have just been Jerk’d.
At this point a woman either leaves him in a HUGE huff and a chip on her shoulder only to see that he has a new woman in less than two weeks. He was SO cheating on you and you let it slide! Or even WORSE he leaves YOU and makes it seem like it was your fault (‘You are being possessive’ or ‘Its just not working’) AND gets another woman to boot (usually uglier, which TOTALLY pisses you off) while you go on a ‘I don’t need no man!’ trip and live like Samantha and Carrie from Sex in the City. Guess what? You know why they rarely found love? BECAUSE THEY LIVED LIKE FUCKTARD MEN! So when you go out and you live like a fucktard, you find a fucktard. Then you get your heart broken again and again by the same type of man over and over until you are ruined and hate men altogether. Congratulations, ladies. You have been Jerk’d.
I have taken women to task for letting this happen several times. The fact is that the reason this happens is that men treat them this way. With women outnumbering men slightly and the majority of men (you know what, after being on the frontlines of this for about 5-8 years, I can say about 70%, if not 75% of men treat women poorly in some way shape or form) being idiots and jerks I can see why women are disheartened by the situation of being single. For years either they or their friends have been used, abused and all around screwed over by men. I always say being screwed over is a two party system but the fact is that it shouldn’t begin in the first place.
The majority of men that are screwing over women are making those in the minority look REAL bad. It is like slaves that knew how to read. Other slaves didn’t like them because they weren’t happy in the field being a slave (women) and whites didn’t like them because they were trying to change the ‘natural order’ of things (jerks). That analogy makes sense if you think about it, albeit rather offensive. You see, the majority of men are all about trying to get sex from women. It has been like that for a long time. Women have been ingrained since…birth that this is the case from their mothers, television, music, movies and society as a whole. Now as a man if your main goal is NOT to have sex with a woman, you are the exception not the norm and rules are made for the norm. Therefore to a woman, you must be lying and trying to get in her pants. So either way, no matter what you do, you are vilified just as much if not MORE than a jerk because they think you are a liar and a cheat and if Oprah said it, it must be true.
On the other side of the spectrum is the jerk. Now, I have had this discussion with jerks several times and when you say that you aren’t about sex they look at you like you broke the Code of Silence. Like you came out of the closet in a foxhole during heavy enemy fire. So then other men think something is wrong with you because you don’t think just like them. It is fucking irritating. The majority of jerks buy Axe body wash and Tag body spray because they believe that women really come running if you wear it. I’m serious, they BELIEVE the commercials! I have heard them talk to the opposite sex and it is just…just wrong. Now I honestly believe that the term ‘game’ is really just ‘lies and bullshit.’ I have heard what constitutes as ‘game’ and the majority of it is ripped off from rappers/comedians/date movies/pick-up line books. Hell, after about 10 seconds it usually breaks into the ‘Wah wah wah wah wahwahwah’ from Charlie Brown so I wonder if women really listen (I have heard yes and no from different sources) or if the whole ‘a woman knows whether she is going to have sex with you blah blah blah yakkity smackity’ thing is true. If so, it explains a LOT of divorces and break-ups. Because of this, having an actual conversation is hard because women expect a ‘Shawty, can I buy yo draaaaaank?’ rather than ‘So how do you feel the geopolitical climate in Ghana effects the continent of Africa?’ What can I say….I is lame.
Finally, jerks have not only killed conversation they have lowered the expectations. From what I have gathered, women expect so little from men that when you display any form of not being ‘derrrrp!’ they get rather confused. Men have come off over the years as being so sex-crazed, boob-obsessed, chest-thumping, sports-worshiping, woman-clubbing troglodytes that when you aren’t like that…they think something is wrong with you and that you are (once again) lying and TOTALLY want to get in their pants or that you are gay. Let me tell you something ladies…that would just be devine! Wouldn’t it be delightful if the reason I have so many problems with women is because I am a homosexual? Yeah…sadly it aint that easy. As my love for Yuna Ito has proven…I loves the ladies but the ladies don’t love me. It’s….a conundrum.
Now I am not going to sit here and give anyone tips on how to get a woman because I totally SUCK at it. I can teach you how NOT to get one or how to lose one. That’s where I’m a Viking! Even still, I think that the majority of fucktards are ruining it for the minority that just want to be normal. By screwing over women and treating them like crap (Even though we can all agree, deep down it is what they want. Hell, I’ve gone BACK to women to be treated like crap! It replaces the need for love!) you mess it up for all of us. The simple fact is that women do stupid things to normal guys for dick moves made by a jerk. Now you have a set of jaded men that seem like jerks but are just like you: frickin pissed off because they were hurt. See, men and women aint so different. I leave you with this:
“Inside Every Jaded Man…Is A Broken Heart”
Pretty much sums me up, right? :( More Classic Chachi posts and re-do's of old rants to come. I think it gives a new look to the stuff that a lot of the current readers (All...two...of you) may have missed in previous years. That and I am going to be tired A LOT for the next week or so until I get back in the swing of commuting. Well, I'm out. New post on Wednesday if I am not to tired from driving. Peace out, ya'll!
Chachi Out
Monday, November 17, 2008
Love Isn't Just Wonderful, It's Festive!
What is up, people?! I am back after a long ass day and all I can say is here we go again. Driving to Denver is going to be a bitch and a half for the next few days. But times are tough and work is work. Gotta do what cha gotta do and all. So, how’s by you? You doing good? That’s nice to hear!
So last week I ranted about the passing of Proposition 8 in California. Now I am hella pissed at gays right now for blaming Blacks and Latinos (And to a lesser extent the five Asians that vote) for its passing. First off, Black people are dumb. Seriously, have you SEEN “Chance Of Love?” THEM NIGGAS VOTED! Did you expect them niggas to vote FOR GAY MARRIAGE?! As for Latinos…yeah. Aside from Rebelde and Zorro I am indifferent. Yet most Latinos are Catholic which means it is okay to fuck a boy in the ass, you just can’t marry him when he is legal. Oh, I SO FUCKING WENT THERE! COME GET SOME!
Anyway, I missed Countdown with Keith Olbermann last week because…well, he is a pundit and unless you are Rachel Maddow or Mudkip (MUDKIP LIEKS YOU!) I really don’t like you. However, he kind of summed up what I said last week without the threats to the Mormon Church (of Fuckwitery) or constant f-bombs. FART YOU, FARTER! Anyway:
You know, I am not all anger and puppy punting. I mean, I am A LOT of anger and puppy punting but that isn’t all I’m about. In the end, I am all for people being happy. Especially if it means 1) more chances to sing “It’s Raining Men” at karaoke and 2) pissing off the Christians. This does both because if there is one song that will be sung at a wedding of two men, it is The Weather Girls:
Lesbians will have kick ass weddings as long as there is no Ani DiFranco. “31 Flavors was like 10 years ago, if not more. Everything else has sucked and you know it. In the end, gays can love and should be allowed to be married just like two straight people that hate each other can be. That is all about that for the time being. I am going to post a repeat either tonight or tomorrow because my earlier work is a lot funnier when I read it for a second time. It’s odd, I rarely read over my blogs for humor or content. I just look for spelling errors so I have to read them a second time to read what I actually wrote. Usually, I am offended. Well, it will be up in a bit. Until then, peace out.
Chachi Out
So last week I ranted about the passing of Proposition 8 in California. Now I am hella pissed at gays right now for blaming Blacks and Latinos (And to a lesser extent the five Asians that vote) for its passing. First off, Black people are dumb. Seriously, have you SEEN “Chance Of Love?” THEM NIGGAS VOTED! Did you expect them niggas to vote FOR GAY MARRIAGE?! As for Latinos…yeah. Aside from Rebelde and Zorro I am indifferent. Yet most Latinos are Catholic which means it is okay to fuck a boy in the ass, you just can’t marry him when he is legal. Oh, I SO FUCKING WENT THERE! COME GET SOME!
Anyway, I missed Countdown with Keith Olbermann last week because…well, he is a pundit and unless you are Rachel Maddow or Mudkip (MUDKIP LIEKS YOU!) I really don’t like you. However, he kind of summed up what I said last week without the threats to the Mormon Church (of Fuckwitery) or constant f-bombs. FART YOU, FARTER! Anyway:
You know, I am not all anger and puppy punting. I mean, I am A LOT of anger and puppy punting but that isn’t all I’m about. In the end, I am all for people being happy. Especially if it means 1) more chances to sing “It’s Raining Men” at karaoke and 2) pissing off the Christians. This does both because if there is one song that will be sung at a wedding of two men, it is The Weather Girls:
Lesbians will have kick ass weddings as long as there is no Ani DiFranco. “31 Flavors was like 10 years ago, if not more. Everything else has sucked and you know it. In the end, gays can love and should be allowed to be married just like two straight people that hate each other can be. That is all about that for the time being. I am going to post a repeat either tonight or tomorrow because my earlier work is a lot funnier when I read it for a second time. It’s odd, I rarely read over my blogs for humor or content. I just look for spelling errors so I have to read them a second time to read what I actually wrote. Usually, I am offended. Well, it will be up in a bit. Until then, peace out.
Chachi Out
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Being Average Ain't So Bad. Worked For 98 Degrees...
What is up peeps?! It is late, I have some sake & Sapporo in me and I have a huge question and/or favor to ask of you. So as some of you know (And the rest of you don’t) I have decided that the best way to tag mediocrity is to embody them with the band of their generation that matches their time. So mediocre things in the 80’s are Kajagoogoo:
As you can see, nothing really infuriating about that song but at the same time there is no way in fucking hell you would go out of the way to listen to it. Unless you liked being average in which I hope you love your Shasta and Arby’s. While in the 90’s they are referred to as Savage Garden:
As you can see, not really offensive to the point of making you shake a puupy. Yet, there is no what in hell you would want to listen to this if you had your choice in songs. It’s just…tolerable. However, I am having problems figuring out what to refer to the modern mediocre aspects of life are. Kelly Clarkson was a good idea (Thank you, Kase!) while YC brought in 3 Doors Down. I personally think that The Fray is the model of mediocrity:
They don’t excel in anything but at the same time; they really aren’t going to make you say that they are any better than let’s say a kick in the balls. Although if I have to hear “How To Save A Life” not on Scrubs one more time I will find your cat and rape you with it. I am not fucking joking; I am sick of that song out of context and it doesn’t make me sad so give the fuck up. He isn’t singing to you so shut the fuck up. It isn’t Evanescence’s “October” and it isn’t that much of a tearjerker so grow a spine and realize that your problems aren’t bigger than anyone else’s and if a song “totally captures your pain” then you are a fuckwit and you suck it dry. Yeah, I fucking went there and you SO KNOW WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE, BITCH. Or not, I am just ranting.
Back to the point. Peeps, I need your help in figuring out what to call the mediocre in the 2000’s in terms of a band. I am considering All-American Reject but aside from that I am not sure. I ask of your input if you like. If not, eat a dick. Sorry, it’s late and I haven’t had my eggnog and rum. Heavy on the rum and double the nog. The only way to have it, bitches. I’m going to bed. Peace out, peeps.
Chachi Out
As you can see, nothing really infuriating about that song but at the same time there is no way in fucking hell you would go out of the way to listen to it. Unless you liked being average in which I hope you love your Shasta and Arby’s. While in the 90’s they are referred to as Savage Garden:
As you can see, not really offensive to the point of making you shake a puupy. Yet, there is no what in hell you would want to listen to this if you had your choice in songs. It’s just…tolerable. However, I am having problems figuring out what to refer to the modern mediocre aspects of life are. Kelly Clarkson was a good idea (Thank you, Kase!) while YC brought in 3 Doors Down. I personally think that The Fray is the model of mediocrity:
They don’t excel in anything but at the same time; they really aren’t going to make you say that they are any better than let’s say a kick in the balls. Although if I have to hear “How To Save A Life” not on Scrubs one more time I will find your cat and rape you with it. I am not fucking joking; I am sick of that song out of context and it doesn’t make me sad so give the fuck up. He isn’t singing to you so shut the fuck up. It isn’t Evanescence’s “October” and it isn’t that much of a tearjerker so grow a spine and realize that your problems aren’t bigger than anyone else’s and if a song “totally captures your pain” then you are a fuckwit and you suck it dry. Yeah, I fucking went there and you SO KNOW WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE, BITCH. Or not, I am just ranting.
Back to the point. Peeps, I need your help in figuring out what to call the mediocre in the 2000’s in terms of a band. I am considering All-American Reject but aside from that I am not sure. I ask of your input if you like. If not, eat a dick. Sorry, it’s late and I haven’t had my eggnog and rum. Heavy on the rum and double the nog. The only way to have it, bitches. I’m going to bed. Peace out, peeps.
Chachi Out
Friday, November 14, 2008
Rainism: Stop The Hatred Against The Rain!
Well, it is the last day of goofing off in the middle of the day so I bring you a extra bittersweet edition of….
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
First off, let’s look at the videos we are saying goodbye to this week with “Falling Out”:
NERD feat Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pusha-T – Everybody Nose (Remix) (Peaked at #2)
Rain (Bi) – Love Story (Peaked at #16)
Sad to see you guys go, but that NERD video has been on here for like five months. DAMN! Well, let’s get started with a video on its way off the Countdown!
20. FLOW – WORLD END (Last Week #17)
FLOW looks to be on its way off the Countdown after a grand return this summer. Too bad I don’t get “Code Geass” because it looks like it could be good if it made sense. I will also say this is their best video since “Re:Member” without a doubt.
19. Halcali – LONG KISS GOODBYE (New Entry)
YES! After a LONG ASS WAIT (Over a year and a half!) Halcali is back! I used to be a closet Halcali fan after the GiriGiri Surf Rider dance and now I am a full-fledged stan. This song got me caring about Naruto again and fits the current arc very well. That and YES I have a thing for them. Leave me alone.
18. Fonzworth Bentley feat Andre 3000 & Kanye West – Everybody [Don’t Stop] (Last Week #15, Two Weeks at #1)
Fonz looks like his run is over as well. It was a great year for all three men in this video as all three won Chachi Video Awards last Sunday. Now I just wait for a follow up, which may not come because no one even knows about this damn song.
17. UVERworld – Hakanaku mo Towa no Kanashi (New Entry)
Okay, this is the UVERworld that we need! It is about time they kicked it all “D-Technolife” on our bitch asses! Or at least “Colors of the Heart” on us. This video is rather simple but the they usually are and the song is where it is at! About damned time!
16. John Legend feat Andre 3000 – Green Light (Last Week #12, One Week at #1)
So I haven’t heard anything new from Outkast since…ever. I mean Big Boi is supposed to have a new album out but I have heard nothing from him since that song with MJB. Andre 3000 needs another album right the hell now!
15. Big Bang – Number 1 (Last Week #14)
Well, Big Bang is officially the hardest working band out there right now as they ALREADY have a new album out for their peeps. And it is back in Korean meaning that I don’t understand any of it. Just the way I likes it.
14. YUI – I’ll Be (Last Week #20)
YUI moves up six big spots this week as she not only returns with a new video but a new concept album! It sounds awesome so far, but once again nothing as bad ass as “Rolling Star” but maybe I am being unreasonable?
13. Yuna Ito – Miss You (Last Week #11)
Miss Ito falls two spots this week as I wonder exactly how long it will be until I play “All I Want For Christmas” to the point of getting stabbed? Yes, I like her version just as much as pre-batshit crazy Mariah Carey.
12. UVERworld – Koishikute (Last Week #10)
UVERworld falls two spots this week from the Top 10 as once again, they came close to knocking off the champ but continued the streak of being held back. Good news is that by most stretches of the imagination their new album should be released next month. MERRY CHRISTMAS!
11. BoA – Eat You Up [Korean Version] (Last Week #13)
Okay, I am really beginning to like this video. The song I like but…she really better work on the rest of her English. I mean she didn’t sound too bad in interviews but this song is just broken like my heart after I found out she is going all Britney Spears on me to sell records. NO, BABY, NO!
10. Hyori Lee – Hey Mr. Big! (Last Week #6)
Miss Hyori falls four big spots this week as our Comeback of the Year winner begins the Top 10. It has been a big year for Miss Lee, and you are rest assured she will be nominated for the Chachi Music Awards later on this month. Too bad she is slowing down on me.
9. Alicia Keys - Superwoman (Last Week #7)
Miss Alicia Keys falls two spots this week with her latest. It looks like she had a pretty big year but seems to be slowing down. Oh, can I also say she is damn fine?
8. Rain (Bi) – Rainism (Last Week #16, Biggest Mover)
RAIN IS COMING AND IT DON’T STOP! Rain moves up eight spots this week into the Top 10 for the fourth time! However, can he get his first number one video since “Freeway” in 2006? If any video can do is, its Rainism. It’s like a Michael Jackson video!
7. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Remember (Last Week #10)
HAMC moves up three spots this week with their swan song. Here is hoping to at least a final album of half-greatest hits and half B-sides as a going away gift. I’m going to miss you!
6. T.I. – What Up, What’s Happening (Last Week #4)
The King of the South falls two spots this week as we move on. It looks that once again, TI has two videos in the Top 10. You know, he may be behind only Kanye West for the best artist of the year all around. And T.I. isn’t a douche, just a dumbass.
5. Hearts Grow – Sora (Last Week #3, Three Weeks at #1)
Hearts Grow’s rebound was short lived as they fall two spots back down to number five. They have been hanging around the Top 5 for a few months now which isn’t a shock but has maybe put them up there with the heavyweights of the Countdown. They belong now!
4. T.I. feat Rihanna – Live Your Life (Last Week #8)
TI and Rihanna are living their life into the Top 5 after only three weeks! I initially hated this song but it has grown on me and the video is different but not “different” which means it is better than about 75% of hip hop videos. I am looking at 50 Cent’s new on as an example. I so hate him. We are down to three!
3. Kumi Koda – Taboo (Last Week #5)
Kumi Koda is back in the Top Three! My original baby boo is taking back what is hers! Even better is the fact she has a new video and it is a BALLAD! You know how I feel about Kumi Koda when she sings a ballad. Makes me want to snoogle a kitten. Yes, I said snoogle.
2. Wonder Girls - Nobody (Last Week #2, One Week at #1)
The Wonder Girls are STILL hanging on! After relinquishing the top spot last week, they hold on to the runner-up spot once again! Can they knuckle up and make another run at the top spot? We will have to see because this week the champ stays the same!
1. Kanye West – Love Lockdown (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
For the second straight week, Kanye West tops the Countdown! After tagging along to win FIVE CMVA’s last Sunday I would have to say he is the biggest artist of 2008 not named Lil Wayne. I am still liking this video and I am interested to hear “808’s & Heartbreak” if not for the trainwreck then for the songs I like. Either way, he is on the top of the mountain once again.
That is all for this week! Tune in next Friday (Or late Thursday night, depends when I see myself getting home from work on Friday) to see if Kanye can make it three weeks in a row on top! Or will The Wonder Girls return to the top spot for a second week after a short hiatus? Or will Kumi Koda get her first number one video in almost THREE YEARS? Look out for T.I. & Rihanna, Rain and HIGH AND MIGHT COLOR, too! See you fools in seven!
Well, I am off to turn my Zune back in for warranty work (Trust me, a rant is coming about that shit) and head to the theater for the James Bond movie. Until next time peeps, stay up.
Chachi Out
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
First off, let’s look at the videos we are saying goodbye to this week with “Falling Out”:
NERD feat Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pusha-T – Everybody Nose (Remix) (Peaked at #2)
Rain (Bi) – Love Story (Peaked at #16)
Sad to see you guys go, but that NERD video has been on here for like five months. DAMN! Well, let’s get started with a video on its way off the Countdown!
20. FLOW – WORLD END (Last Week #17)
FLOW looks to be on its way off the Countdown after a grand return this summer. Too bad I don’t get “Code Geass” because it looks like it could be good if it made sense. I will also say this is their best video since “Re:Member” without a doubt.
19. Halcali – LONG KISS GOODBYE (New Entry)
YES! After a LONG ASS WAIT (Over a year and a half!) Halcali is back! I used to be a closet Halcali fan after the GiriGiri Surf Rider dance and now I am a full-fledged stan. This song got me caring about Naruto again and fits the current arc very well. That and YES I have a thing for them. Leave me alone.
18. Fonzworth Bentley feat Andre 3000 & Kanye West – Everybody [Don’t Stop] (Last Week #15, Two Weeks at #1)
Fonz looks like his run is over as well. It was a great year for all three men in this video as all three won Chachi Video Awards last Sunday. Now I just wait for a follow up, which may not come because no one even knows about this damn song.
17. UVERworld – Hakanaku mo Towa no Kanashi (New Entry)
Okay, this is the UVERworld that we need! It is about time they kicked it all “D-Technolife” on our bitch asses! Or at least “Colors of the Heart” on us. This video is rather simple but the they usually are and the song is where it is at! About damned time!
16. John Legend feat Andre 3000 – Green Light (Last Week #12, One Week at #1)
So I haven’t heard anything new from Outkast since…ever. I mean Big Boi is supposed to have a new album out but I have heard nothing from him since that song with MJB. Andre 3000 needs another album right the hell now!
15. Big Bang – Number 1 (Last Week #14)
Well, Big Bang is officially the hardest working band out there right now as they ALREADY have a new album out for their peeps. And it is back in Korean meaning that I don’t understand any of it. Just the way I likes it.
14. YUI – I’ll Be (Last Week #20)
YUI moves up six big spots this week as she not only returns with a new video but a new concept album! It sounds awesome so far, but once again nothing as bad ass as “Rolling Star” but maybe I am being unreasonable?
13. Yuna Ito – Miss You (Last Week #11)
Miss Ito falls two spots this week as I wonder exactly how long it will be until I play “All I Want For Christmas” to the point of getting stabbed? Yes, I like her version just as much as pre-batshit crazy Mariah Carey.
12. UVERworld – Koishikute (Last Week #10)
UVERworld falls two spots this week from the Top 10 as once again, they came close to knocking off the champ but continued the streak of being held back. Good news is that by most stretches of the imagination their new album should be released next month. MERRY CHRISTMAS!
11. BoA – Eat You Up [Korean Version] (Last Week #13)
Okay, I am really beginning to like this video. The song I like but…she really better work on the rest of her English. I mean she didn’t sound too bad in interviews but this song is just broken like my heart after I found out she is going all Britney Spears on me to sell records. NO, BABY, NO!
10. Hyori Lee – Hey Mr. Big! (Last Week #6)
Miss Hyori falls four big spots this week as our Comeback of the Year winner begins the Top 10. It has been a big year for Miss Lee, and you are rest assured she will be nominated for the Chachi Music Awards later on this month. Too bad she is slowing down on me.
9. Alicia Keys - Superwoman (Last Week #7)
Miss Alicia Keys falls two spots this week with her latest. It looks like she had a pretty big year but seems to be slowing down. Oh, can I also say she is damn fine?
8. Rain (Bi) – Rainism (Last Week #16, Biggest Mover)
RAIN IS COMING AND IT DON’T STOP! Rain moves up eight spots this week into the Top 10 for the fourth time! However, can he get his first number one video since “Freeway” in 2006? If any video can do is, its Rainism. It’s like a Michael Jackson video!
7. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Remember (Last Week #10)
HAMC moves up three spots this week with their swan song. Here is hoping to at least a final album of half-greatest hits and half B-sides as a going away gift. I’m going to miss you!
6. T.I. – What Up, What’s Happening (Last Week #4)
The King of the South falls two spots this week as we move on. It looks that once again, TI has two videos in the Top 10. You know, he may be behind only Kanye West for the best artist of the year all around. And T.I. isn’t a douche, just a dumbass.
5. Hearts Grow – Sora (Last Week #3, Three Weeks at #1)
Hearts Grow’s rebound was short lived as they fall two spots back down to number five. They have been hanging around the Top 5 for a few months now which isn’t a shock but has maybe put them up there with the heavyweights of the Countdown. They belong now!
4. T.I. feat Rihanna – Live Your Life (Last Week #8)
TI and Rihanna are living their life into the Top 5 after only three weeks! I initially hated this song but it has grown on me and the video is different but not “different” which means it is better than about 75% of hip hop videos. I am looking at 50 Cent’s new on as an example. I so hate him. We are down to three!
3. Kumi Koda – Taboo (Last Week #5)
Kumi Koda is back in the Top Three! My original baby boo is taking back what is hers! Even better is the fact she has a new video and it is a BALLAD! You know how I feel about Kumi Koda when she sings a ballad. Makes me want to snoogle a kitten. Yes, I said snoogle.
2. Wonder Girls - Nobody (Last Week #2, One Week at #1)
The Wonder Girls are STILL hanging on! After relinquishing the top spot last week, they hold on to the runner-up spot once again! Can they knuckle up and make another run at the top spot? We will have to see because this week the champ stays the same!
1. Kanye West – Love Lockdown (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
For the second straight week, Kanye West tops the Countdown! After tagging along to win FIVE CMVA’s last Sunday I would have to say he is the biggest artist of 2008 not named Lil Wayne. I am still liking this video and I am interested to hear “808’s & Heartbreak” if not for the trainwreck then for the songs I like. Either way, he is on the top of the mountain once again.
That is all for this week! Tune in next Friday (Or late Thursday night, depends when I see myself getting home from work on Friday) to see if Kanye can make it three weeks in a row on top! Or will The Wonder Girls return to the top spot for a second week after a short hiatus? Or will Kumi Koda get her first number one video in almost THREE YEARS? Look out for T.I. & Rihanna, Rain and HIGH AND MIGHT COLOR, too! See you fools in seven!
Well, I am off to turn my Zune back in for warranty work (Trust me, a rant is coming about that shit) and head to the theater for the James Bond movie. Until next time peeps, stay up.
Chachi Out
Thursday, November 13, 2008
George Michael: Seriously, Who DIDN'T Know He Was Gay In The 80's?
Okay, I have a question: HOW MANY VERSIONS OF “LAST CHRISTMAS” ARE TRULY NEEDED?! I mean I wanted to download the Cascada version (I lost it when I switched hard drives a few months back, I guess) and I saw these different remakes:
• Ashley Tisdale: Okay, you all know I have a soft spot in my heart (And a hard spot in my pants. WHOA, CAN I GET SOME?!) for the High School Musical cast because I love musicals but there are some people that should NOT touch this song. I’m sorry, baby. I love you but you are no George Michael. This version of the song…sounds like it should be in “High School Musical 4: Wildcats Christmas Vacation. Her voice isn’t good and it doesn’t do the song justice. However, it isn’t HORRIBLE, just not as awesome as the original.
• Carrie Underwood: NO. I don’t care if you liked that “When He Cheats” song or whatever the fuck it is called. I hate this bitch and I hate anything that comes out of her mouth. She is the female version of Jared Leto (Famous for no real reason, and should be attacked by rabid guinea pigs) and that mother fucker better NEVER cover last Christmas or I will skullfuck his cat. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED, FUCKER. Do “The Kill” and nothing else…jackass. Anyway, as you can tell she sucks, country really sucks and combine the two with my favorite Christmas song and you have a recipe for auditory rape.
• Savage Garden: Okay, little known fact about me. Prepare yourself because this is a fucking doozy….I don’t hate Savage Garden. Now I don’t LIKE Savage Garden but I nothing they have done has ever pissed me off to no end, unlike Semisonic. I HATE “CLOSING TIME” SO STOP PLAYING IT BECAUSE YOUR SHITTY ASS BAR IS CLOSING FOR THE NIGHT! Although, if I am at a bar late enough to HEAR “Closing Time” then I guess I am the one with the problem. Either way, I downloaded this version and you know what? I don’t hate it. I just don’t like it. Copper, we are officially replacing Kajagoogoo with Savage Garden for the pinnacle of mediocrity. That’s what this song is: holiday season average greetings.
• Hillary Duff: You know what? I really thought I downloaded the Ashley Tisdale version twice. Seriously, their voices are that indistinguishable. What is even sadder is that neither one of them can sing. You know, none of these teen queens have a voice that is any different from the other. Vanessa Hudgens, Hillary, Ashly, Miley Cyrus, the chick from “Camp Rock” (Which I refuse to watch, I don’t care how gay I seem to be) and the chick that is banging the other Jonas Brother (Are they the new fucking Wayans? I mean seriously!) all sound the fucking same and I have to say it doesn’t bode well for the musical future. I mean, remember Debbie Gibson?:
She wrote AND sang her own songs…and stole my heart. WITH HER MUSIC! Either way, this version was really “meh” and I am pissed I wasted bandwidth that could have been more effectively used for porn. Lots of porn.
• Jimmy Eat World: Okay, I like Jimmy Eat World. Always have and oddly enough I really like this version of the song. There was a time I stopped listening to them (And is SO wasn’t because of a woman when I was in college…totally wasn’t) but I didn’t even know they made a version. I guess everyone has it is just about finding it but this is one of my favorites not done by Wham themselves.
• Taylor Swift: I so stand corrected. Taylor Swift is the new word for the mastery of mediocrity. I mean it is better than Carrie Underwood’s version but it’s just so…BLAH. I mean geez, say what you will about hip hop but at least they have interesting (Albeit dumb as shit) characters. I mean, you have a former drug dealer and...a former drug dealer. Wait…
• Crazy Frog: You know what? Fuck that little fucker. He ruined what sounded like it was going to be a pretty kick ass tune. Yes, the first 35 seconds or so of this song are great until the actual fucking frog shows up. Who in the hell thought that was a good idea, anyway?! How drunk must you be to think a talking frog is a good idea?! The only good talking frog is Dig’Em and that is only because he be diggin’ them Smacks!
• Rap Remix (WHO MADE THIS SHIT?!): HOOBA JOOBA WHA?! I don’t know who was on this monstrosity, but you need to be arrested for fucking up a classic! WHAT IN THE HELL?! My god, I may have to kill someone and drink their blood for sustenance to get past this piece of shit.
• Whigfield (Techno Remix): Hmm. You know, this version wasn’t BAD. I could totally see this playing right now in The Balcony in Boise (It was faboo, wasn’t it Copper? Ah, the lulz) but it is just a little too…techno. Not a lot but for a Christmas song it is a tad bit of overkill.
• Cascada: My favorite cover not called “This Woman’s Work” by Maxwell. Seriously, this is a version that you have to listen to with the windows up but it is SO WORTH IT! Such a guilty pleasure of mine:
I also have to say that I would like to make slow, sweet love to that by the yulelog. Yeah, baby.
Okay, I am out for now. I will be back up tomorrow with the Countdown and hopefully this weekend with an update. I start the commute on Monday so updates may not be as frequent as usual but I will try my best to give the peeps what they want. Stay up until then, peeps.
Chachi Out
• Ashley Tisdale: Okay, you all know I have a soft spot in my heart (And a hard spot in my pants. WHOA, CAN I GET SOME?!) for the High School Musical cast because I love musicals but there are some people that should NOT touch this song. I’m sorry, baby. I love you but you are no George Michael. This version of the song…sounds like it should be in “High School Musical 4: Wildcats Christmas Vacation. Her voice isn’t good and it doesn’t do the song justice. However, it isn’t HORRIBLE, just not as awesome as the original.
• Carrie Underwood: NO. I don’t care if you liked that “When He Cheats” song or whatever the fuck it is called. I hate this bitch and I hate anything that comes out of her mouth. She is the female version of Jared Leto (Famous for no real reason, and should be attacked by rabid guinea pigs) and that mother fucker better NEVER cover last Christmas or I will skullfuck his cat. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED, FUCKER. Do “The Kill” and nothing else…jackass. Anyway, as you can tell she sucks, country really sucks and combine the two with my favorite Christmas song and you have a recipe for auditory rape.
• Savage Garden: Okay, little known fact about me. Prepare yourself because this is a fucking doozy….I don’t hate Savage Garden. Now I don’t LIKE Savage Garden but I nothing they have done has ever pissed me off to no end, unlike Semisonic. I HATE “CLOSING TIME” SO STOP PLAYING IT BECAUSE YOUR SHITTY ASS BAR IS CLOSING FOR THE NIGHT! Although, if I am at a bar late enough to HEAR “Closing Time” then I guess I am the one with the problem. Either way, I downloaded this version and you know what? I don’t hate it. I just don’t like it. Copper, we are officially replacing Kajagoogoo with Savage Garden for the pinnacle of mediocrity. That’s what this song is: holiday season average greetings.
• Hillary Duff: You know what? I really thought I downloaded the Ashley Tisdale version twice. Seriously, their voices are that indistinguishable. What is even sadder is that neither one of them can sing. You know, none of these teen queens have a voice that is any different from the other. Vanessa Hudgens, Hillary, Ashly, Miley Cyrus, the chick from “Camp Rock” (Which I refuse to watch, I don’t care how gay I seem to be) and the chick that is banging the other Jonas Brother (Are they the new fucking Wayans? I mean seriously!) all sound the fucking same and I have to say it doesn’t bode well for the musical future. I mean, remember Debbie Gibson?:
She wrote AND sang her own songs…and stole my heart. WITH HER MUSIC! Either way, this version was really “meh” and I am pissed I wasted bandwidth that could have been more effectively used for porn. Lots of porn.
• Jimmy Eat World: Okay, I like Jimmy Eat World. Always have and oddly enough I really like this version of the song. There was a time I stopped listening to them (And is SO wasn’t because of a woman when I was in college…totally wasn’t) but I didn’t even know they made a version. I guess everyone has it is just about finding it but this is one of my favorites not done by Wham themselves.
• Taylor Swift: I so stand corrected. Taylor Swift is the new word for the mastery of mediocrity. I mean it is better than Carrie Underwood’s version but it’s just so…BLAH. I mean geez, say what you will about hip hop but at least they have interesting (Albeit dumb as shit) characters. I mean, you have a former drug dealer and...a former drug dealer. Wait…
• Crazy Frog: You know what? Fuck that little fucker. He ruined what sounded like it was going to be a pretty kick ass tune. Yes, the first 35 seconds or so of this song are great until the actual fucking frog shows up. Who in the hell thought that was a good idea, anyway?! How drunk must you be to think a talking frog is a good idea?! The only good talking frog is Dig’Em and that is only because he be diggin’ them Smacks!
• Rap Remix (WHO MADE THIS SHIT?!): HOOBA JOOBA WHA?! I don’t know who was on this monstrosity, but you need to be arrested for fucking up a classic! WHAT IN THE HELL?! My god, I may have to kill someone and drink their blood for sustenance to get past this piece of shit.
• Whigfield (Techno Remix): Hmm. You know, this version wasn’t BAD. I could totally see this playing right now in The Balcony in Boise (It was faboo, wasn’t it Copper? Ah, the lulz) but it is just a little too…techno. Not a lot but for a Christmas song it is a tad bit of overkill.
• Cascada: My favorite cover not called “This Woman’s Work” by Maxwell. Seriously, this is a version that you have to listen to with the windows up but it is SO WORTH IT! Such a guilty pleasure of mine:
I also have to say that I would like to make slow, sweet love to that by the yulelog. Yeah, baby.
Okay, I am out for now. I will be back up tomorrow with the Countdown and hopefully this weekend with an update. I start the commute on Monday so updates may not be as frequent as usual but I will try my best to give the peeps what they want. Stay up until then, peeps.
Chachi Out
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
A Little Bit Of Late Night Musing...
Okay….um, a few off the wall things happened today and I am not sure if Catnarok is coming or if I am just losing my shit.
1. While at the food court in the mall today (Needed to get my comic. More on that later) I walked by McDonald’s and heard someone order a Filet-O-Fish. Do they even still MAKE that monstrosity? Not only that, what person really WANTS to eat that thing? This person was kind of mad that they didn’t have it there. I mean…really?
2. After having about a thirty minute (Give or take) conversation with the comic book guy about the Bleach universe, the concept of Galactus being the embodiment of hunger and never satiated and how the Green Lantern is awesome (I totally have to read the Red Lantern Saga now!) I realized that my nerddom knows no bounds. I mean seriously, I now know why I have no friends and women mace me. Right here, buddy. I like my comics.
3. Women: STOP DOING THE DUCKFACE. Seriously, I ranted about this a few months ago and you are still doing it. Are you supposed to look hot? Are you supposed to look alluring? Well, let me tell you how you look: like a made up Steven Tyler. Well, more made up Steven Tyler. Either way, there is nothing hot about the duckface; it just makes you look retarded. Literally, tards look at you and laugh. I’ve seen them.
4. Is it just me, or does 50 Cent look more and more each day like he should be hanging around with Rash, Zitz and Pimple trying to stop the Dark Queen?:
Do a barrel roll, nigga! Whoo…I’m fucking awesome.
5. Watching South Park, I guess domestic abuse is fine as long as you put it to song. Nothing like beating someone’s ass to a soundtrack!
6. Okay, I don’t LIKE to stereotype but yesterday on I-25 on my way to pick up a friend to go get some food, I was stuck behind a car doing 45. ON THE FUCKING HIGHWAY. Once I passed the car, it was an old White lady in a straw hat in a fucking Cadilliac not paying attention to anything. Now one would say that I would be stereotyping if I said that was the look of all people that couldn’t drive. Well, fuck you. I am totally stereotyping when I say that we should kill all old white women. I’M KIDDING! Just the ones in straw hats.
7. I like how when unemployment is highest it has been in about 40 years…gas prices go down. Seeing as how so many people aint got a job to go to it just seems ironic to me.
Well, I am out of this bitch. Bedtime and all. Peace out, I’ll be back on Friday.
Chachi Out.
1. While at the food court in the mall today (Needed to get my comic. More on that later) I walked by McDonald’s and heard someone order a Filet-O-Fish. Do they even still MAKE that monstrosity? Not only that, what person really WANTS to eat that thing? This person was kind of mad that they didn’t have it there. I mean…really?
2. After having about a thirty minute (Give or take) conversation with the comic book guy about the Bleach universe, the concept of Galactus being the embodiment of hunger and never satiated and how the Green Lantern is awesome (I totally have to read the Red Lantern Saga now!) I realized that my nerddom knows no bounds. I mean seriously, I now know why I have no friends and women mace me. Right here, buddy. I like my comics.
3. Women: STOP DOING THE DUCKFACE. Seriously, I ranted about this a few months ago and you are still doing it. Are you supposed to look hot? Are you supposed to look alluring? Well, let me tell you how you look: like a made up Steven Tyler. Well, more made up Steven Tyler. Either way, there is nothing hot about the duckface; it just makes you look retarded. Literally, tards look at you and laugh. I’ve seen them.
4. Is it just me, or does 50 Cent look more and more each day like he should be hanging around with Rash, Zitz and Pimple trying to stop the Dark Queen?:
Do a barrel roll, nigga! Whoo…I’m fucking awesome.
5. Watching South Park, I guess domestic abuse is fine as long as you put it to song. Nothing like beating someone’s ass to a soundtrack!
6. Okay, I don’t LIKE to stereotype but yesterday on I-25 on my way to pick up a friend to go get some food, I was stuck behind a car doing 45. ON THE FUCKING HIGHWAY. Once I passed the car, it was an old White lady in a straw hat in a fucking Cadilliac not paying attention to anything. Now one would say that I would be stereotyping if I said that was the look of all people that couldn’t drive. Well, fuck you. I am totally stereotyping when I say that we should kill all old white women. I’M KIDDING! Just the ones in straw hats.
7. I like how when unemployment is highest it has been in about 40 years…gas prices go down. Seeing as how so many people aint got a job to go to it just seems ironic to me.
Well, I am out of this bitch. Bedtime and all. Peace out, I’ll be back on Friday.
Chachi Out.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Gay Love: If It Was Good Enough For The Greeks, It's Good Enough For Jesus.
What is up people?! The fallout of the Chachi Video Awards has come and gone and quite simply I am shocked that Young Jeezy dominated. But Man, that song is the MAD NOTES. With that being said, there is something I wanted to address last week but never got around to it due to the hectic time I had election week. Fuck Socialism, all you haters missed the Obamalection Extravaganza was a mother fucking party! I aint had that much fun since the Rick James Cocaine and White Bitches Party in 1983! Good times, people. Good times.
Anyway, back on something I need to address. Last Tuesday, in the celebration of Obama’s history-making victory there was a story that was lost in the shuffle. In California, Proposition 8, or the banning and the (In some cases) nullification of all gay marriages, passed with full-on homophobic flying colors. Of the RAINBOW! Heh, I had to do it. Now let me explain something to you if you haven’t been reading the blog and don’t know: I am all for equal rights for the gay community that those of us in the straight community hold dear. Not because for a while everyone thought I was gay (And then in college when half my friends were gay, which oddly enough was my happiest time. I was festively straight!) but I understand that all people in this country, no matter what their differences of the “norm” deserve all the rights given. Except Turks & Irish, and they know why. So previously gay marriages were “passed” in California which in its essence pissed me the fuck off. There are no “Black marriages” or “White marriages” or “Jew marriages”. Okay, there ARE Jew weddings but they are a wacky people and you get my damn point. There shouldn’t be a separate term for the weddings of gays because they are FUCKING WEDDINGS. PERIOD. Now I couldn’t give a flying fuck about what the Bible says about marriage (Or the Quran or the Torah or any other fucking book you dipshits read. Especially the Book of Mormon…more on you fucksticks later) about it being between a man and a woman because all books of worship are flawed in their delivery and bullshit in their entirety. It stopped being a religious institution when the government began to give rights to people that were married just because they were married. It has always been my opinion that people aren’t against gay marriage for the title, more for the benefits.
“Those gays can adopt kids and make more gays?! Milky white baby Jesus doesn’t approve! I don’t want them there gays with the same rights and benefits from my job at the plant that I get for marrying my wife! Bitch, shut up and get in that there kitchen!”
Now you can call this stereotyping but I don’t like people that think that gays don’t deserve the same rights as you just because they actually LOVE their gay-ass partner rather than got married because they knocked some bitch up and stayed together for the Jebus. You are a fucking prick and you are defeating what America is. Well, it is kind of based on the premise that persecution based on a certain aspect of your being is wrong (That specific aspect being the fucking of ones cousin. You see, the Pilgrims were pretty much Shelbyvilleians. Watch the episode, it makes sense) and the freedom to be accepted for who you are is something to fight for. Yet, we as Americans seem to think that all people deserve the right to have all the freedoms…as long as it doesn’t include that guy. Or in this case, that GAY.
So since marriage is no longer a religious institution in the logical aspect because people get married on beaches and at comic book conventions so you can toss that bullshit right out the motherfucking window, what is the big fucking deal? You think homosexuality is immoral? You know what I think is immoral? Perse-fucking-cution and unabashed discrimination (Unless once again, it’s the Irish or Turks. And they know why!) and people in California think it is quite alright to make it so that gays can’t get married. That seems to be discrimination to me. I may be wrong, but I know fuck well I am not. Also, let’s just say as a matter of argument that marriage is STILL a religious institution. You think there aren’t gay Christians or Muslims? You trying to tell me they shouldn’t be married? It says NO WHERE in the bible that two men or two women shouldn’t be married. You can pull that bullshit and mistranslated line about “laying with another man as a sin” but does that say that those men can’t be married? NO. It just says they are living in sin and let’s be fucking honest here: there are straight people out there in loveless and abusive relationships that are for either money or power and as far as I am concerned that is living in fucking sin so suck my balls, religious fuckwits. Read up on James Dobson sometime and his bullshit “roles are clearly defined in the Bible” crap. Ladies, get in the kitchen!
Now my message to the religious fuckwits. Understand what I say now with clarity and full disclosure because I don’t want to be misunderstood. The Mormon Church, for funding a hate based and completely false attack on the gay community based on your bullshit book from your bullshit prophet and his bullshit meeting with a bullshit Mormon Jesus, can go to hell. You follow teachings from bigots and pedophiles, but what could I expect from people that think that Jesus was White, the Garden of Eden was in Missouri, Indians were Jews, being Black is a sin (It sucks sometimes, but it ain’t no sin) and of course that enchanted undergarments that protect against witches and bullets. But not against the gays! They have evil powers that get you to take your magical undergarments on and be tempted in your nether-regions by the gay! Or something of that manner, I kind of gave up after the undergarments fiasco in the book.
Lastly, I want to talk to you idiots (Barack Obama, I am looking squarely at your big eared ass. Oh, and John McCain and his old ass too for good measure) about the idea that “civil unions are just as good!” First off, no they aren’t. If they are, I would like to ask all of my married friends to go out, annul your marriage and get a civil union. Go on, I’ll wait. I will just watch some Abingdon Boys School to pass the time:
You back? What, you didn’t get one? I THOUGHT SO. You didn’t get one because they are bullshit. Here is a simple way to look at it:
MARRIAGE DOES NOT EQUAL CIVIL UNION
You know, I was watching The Rachel Maddow Show (I am so in love with her) and an analyst said something that I spoke of in college and even as recently as a few weeks ago when I went out for drinks with a friend of mine with a gay friend. I didn’t think anyone felt this way about it but I believe that the simplest way to explain the difference between “civil union” for homosexuals and “marriages” for heterosexuals (Which people will never say but that is the douchery and hypocrisy of homophobes) is like “Whites Only” and “Coloreds Only” water fountains. Oh, not the same you say? Well, quite simply to create an alternative just to create a separate place or term that is different from the norm is “separate but equal” all over again. The conditions in Coloreds Only bathrooms and hotels were horrendous and the concept of civil unions a “separate” form of marriage but “equal” to marriage without carrying it in title is quite simply…separate…but…equal. So for you Black people that voted for Prop 8, you are ushering in Jim Crow for gays. Yes, that is a tad of exaggeration but so was the idea of bringing people over from another country to do all the work they didn’t want to do. Wait…
At the end of the day, it isn’t “gay marriage”. It is just “marriage” and this is coming from someone that believes all marriage is wrong. Banning the marriage of homosexual couples is intolerance at its finest. It’s religious intolerance, sexual intolerance and most importantly it is just plain hypocritical. Would Jesus really approve of such actions? Probably not, he would be too busy whining about his hands and feet. OH NO I DIDN’T! Yeah, I did.
I’ve had enough ranting for a while. I will try to be back up tomorrow. Peace out, ya’ll.
Chachi Out
Anyway, back on something I need to address. Last Tuesday, in the celebration of Obama’s history-making victory there was a story that was lost in the shuffle. In California, Proposition 8, or the banning and the (In some cases) nullification of all gay marriages, passed with full-on homophobic flying colors. Of the RAINBOW! Heh, I had to do it. Now let me explain something to you if you haven’t been reading the blog and don’t know: I am all for equal rights for the gay community that those of us in the straight community hold dear. Not because for a while everyone thought I was gay (And then in college when half my friends were gay, which oddly enough was my happiest time. I was festively straight!) but I understand that all people in this country, no matter what their differences of the “norm” deserve all the rights given. Except Turks & Irish, and they know why. So previously gay marriages were “passed” in California which in its essence pissed me the fuck off. There are no “Black marriages” or “White marriages” or “Jew marriages”. Okay, there ARE Jew weddings but they are a wacky people and you get my damn point. There shouldn’t be a separate term for the weddings of gays because they are FUCKING WEDDINGS. PERIOD. Now I couldn’t give a flying fuck about what the Bible says about marriage (Or the Quran or the Torah or any other fucking book you dipshits read. Especially the Book of Mormon…more on you fucksticks later) about it being between a man and a woman because all books of worship are flawed in their delivery and bullshit in their entirety. It stopped being a religious institution when the government began to give rights to people that were married just because they were married. It has always been my opinion that people aren’t against gay marriage for the title, more for the benefits.
“Those gays can adopt kids and make more gays?! Milky white baby Jesus doesn’t approve! I don’t want them there gays with the same rights and benefits from my job at the plant that I get for marrying my wife! Bitch, shut up and get in that there kitchen!”
Now you can call this stereotyping but I don’t like people that think that gays don’t deserve the same rights as you just because they actually LOVE their gay-ass partner rather than got married because they knocked some bitch up and stayed together for the Jebus. You are a fucking prick and you are defeating what America is. Well, it is kind of based on the premise that persecution based on a certain aspect of your being is wrong (That specific aspect being the fucking of ones cousin. You see, the Pilgrims were pretty much Shelbyvilleians. Watch the episode, it makes sense) and the freedom to be accepted for who you are is something to fight for. Yet, we as Americans seem to think that all people deserve the right to have all the freedoms…as long as it doesn’t include that guy. Or in this case, that GAY.
So since marriage is no longer a religious institution in the logical aspect because people get married on beaches and at comic book conventions so you can toss that bullshit right out the motherfucking window, what is the big fucking deal? You think homosexuality is immoral? You know what I think is immoral? Perse-fucking-cution and unabashed discrimination (Unless once again, it’s the Irish or Turks. And they know why!) and people in California think it is quite alright to make it so that gays can’t get married. That seems to be discrimination to me. I may be wrong, but I know fuck well I am not. Also, let’s just say as a matter of argument that marriage is STILL a religious institution. You think there aren’t gay Christians or Muslims? You trying to tell me they shouldn’t be married? It says NO WHERE in the bible that two men or two women shouldn’t be married. You can pull that bullshit and mistranslated line about “laying with another man as a sin” but does that say that those men can’t be married? NO. It just says they are living in sin and let’s be fucking honest here: there are straight people out there in loveless and abusive relationships that are for either money or power and as far as I am concerned that is living in fucking sin so suck my balls, religious fuckwits. Read up on James Dobson sometime and his bullshit “roles are clearly defined in the Bible” crap. Ladies, get in the kitchen!
Now my message to the religious fuckwits. Understand what I say now with clarity and full disclosure because I don’t want to be misunderstood. The Mormon Church, for funding a hate based and completely false attack on the gay community based on your bullshit book from your bullshit prophet and his bullshit meeting with a bullshit Mormon Jesus, can go to hell. You follow teachings from bigots and pedophiles, but what could I expect from people that think that Jesus was White, the Garden of Eden was in Missouri, Indians were Jews, being Black is a sin (It sucks sometimes, but it ain’t no sin) and of course that enchanted undergarments that protect against witches and bullets. But not against the gays! They have evil powers that get you to take your magical undergarments on and be tempted in your nether-regions by the gay! Or something of that manner, I kind of gave up after the undergarments fiasco in the book.
Lastly, I want to talk to you idiots (Barack Obama, I am looking squarely at your big eared ass. Oh, and John McCain and his old ass too for good measure) about the idea that “civil unions are just as good!” First off, no they aren’t. If they are, I would like to ask all of my married friends to go out, annul your marriage and get a civil union. Go on, I’ll wait. I will just watch some Abingdon Boys School to pass the time:
You back? What, you didn’t get one? I THOUGHT SO. You didn’t get one because they are bullshit. Here is a simple way to look at it:
MARRIAGE DOES NOT EQUAL CIVIL UNION
You know, I was watching The Rachel Maddow Show (I am so in love with her) and an analyst said something that I spoke of in college and even as recently as a few weeks ago when I went out for drinks with a friend of mine with a gay friend. I didn’t think anyone felt this way about it but I believe that the simplest way to explain the difference between “civil union” for homosexuals and “marriages” for heterosexuals (Which people will never say but that is the douchery and hypocrisy of homophobes) is like “Whites Only” and “Coloreds Only” water fountains. Oh, not the same you say? Well, quite simply to create an alternative just to create a separate place or term that is different from the norm is “separate but equal” all over again. The conditions in Coloreds Only bathrooms and hotels were horrendous and the concept of civil unions a “separate” form of marriage but “equal” to marriage without carrying it in title is quite simply…separate…but…equal. So for you Black people that voted for Prop 8, you are ushering in Jim Crow for gays. Yes, that is a tad of exaggeration but so was the idea of bringing people over from another country to do all the work they didn’t want to do. Wait…
At the end of the day, it isn’t “gay marriage”. It is just “marriage” and this is coming from someone that believes all marriage is wrong. Banning the marriage of homosexual couples is intolerance at its finest. It’s religious intolerance, sexual intolerance and most importantly it is just plain hypocritical. Would Jesus really approve of such actions? Probably not, he would be too busy whining about his hands and feet. OH NO I DIDN’T! Yeah, I did.
I’ve had enough ranting for a while. I will try to be back up tomorrow. Peace out, ya’ll.
Chachi Out
Sunday, November 09, 2008
The Greatest Show On Earth!!! That Isn't A Rick James Party, I Mean.
It is about that time! After delays upon delays for extenuating circumstances (Mainly my laziness) I have finally given the peeps what they are looking for! So after a long wait, it is time for the…
Passion of Chachi Presents: The Third Annual Chachi Video Awards!
Let’s start off with some pre-show awards!
Best Collaboration Video
Usher feat Young Jeezy – Love In This Club
Toshinobu Kobuta feat. Misia - Flying Easy Loving Crazy
Zeebra feat May J – Shinin’ Like A Diamond
John Legend feat Andre 3000 – Green Light
CRS (Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pharrell Williams) feat Thom Yorke – Us Placers
Fonzworth Bentley feat Kanye West & Andre 3000 – Everybody (Don’t Stop)
Game feat Keisha Cole – Game’s Pain
Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On
The Winner Is…Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On!
Now THIS is a collaboration. Now Fonzworth Bentley and company came close (Literally, they were the slotted winners until like 5 minutes ago!) and T.K. & Misia had a convincing argument due to how often I listened to them earlier this year. But this video had something that I haven’t seen in a hip hop video in a long time. The verses of Ye’ and Jeezy really just set this video off, and you know how I didn’t like Jeezy two years ago. What can I say, I believe in the Snowman now!
Best Pop Video (Male)
Kevin Rudolf feat Lil Wayne – Let It Rock
Daughtry – What About Now
Chris Brown – Forever
Rain (Bi) – Love Story
TM Revolution – Resonance
Robin Thicke – Magic
Fall Out Boy – I Don’t Care
Maroon 5 – Goodnight, Goodnight
The Winner Is…Robin Thicke – Magic!
Kind of a light year on the pop end of the spectrum but Robin Thicke once again proves that White boys can have some soul. The dance moves in the video are a tad bit too JT-esque but I can get over that. Besides, you KNOW this was your jam!
Best Pop Video (Female)
YUI- Summer Song
Colbie Calliat – Realize
Namie Amuro – NEW LOOK
Daffy – Warrick Avenue
NaNa – Movin’ On
Nelly Furtado – In God’s Hands
Alicia Keys – Teenage Love Affair
Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl
The Winner Is…Duffy – Warrick Avenue!
Okay…I am a closet Duffy fan. Even more so than I am a closet Colbie Calliat fan and she came hella close to winning this one. However, seeing as how I listen to “Warrick Avenue” whenever I feel sad and the video makes me even sadder…I have to give it the nod.
Best R&B Video (Male)
John Legend feat Andre 3000 – Green Light
T-Pain feat Lil’ Wayne – I Can’t Believe It
Robin Thicke – Magic
Ne-Yo – Closer
Rain (Bi) – Love Story
Usher feat Young Jeezy – Love In This Club
Chris Brown – Forever
Toshinobu Kobuta feat. Misia - Flying Easy Loving Crazy
The Winner Is… Toshinobu Kobuta feat. Misia - Flying Easy Loving Crazy!
Once again, another last second change! John Legend looked to have this one won from TK by a hair but I really had to take into account just HOW MUCH I LOVED THIS VIDEO THIS SPRING! I mean you know I was all over this on the Countdown and if you know me personally, on general purpose. TK is finally getting some US love, peeps!
Best Comeback Video
Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl
Bennie K – Monochrome
John Legend feat Andre 3000 – Green Light
Rain (Bi) – Love Story
Toshinobu Kobuta feat. Misia - Flying Easy Loving Crazy
New Kids On The Block – Summertime
TM Revolution – Resonance
Usher feat Young Jeezy – Love In This Club
The Winner Is…Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl!
You know, I have been a Hyori Lee fan for a minute (Ever since “10 Minutes” actually) and after the whole “Get Ya” fiasco I wondered how she would take it. I mean, being accused of stealing from Britney Spears is SAD. However, after this video I will never doubt her again. This video was hella hot and although she needs to eat a sandwich…I would hit that.
Best R&B Video (Female)
Alicia Keys – Teenage Love Affair
Rihanna - Disturbia
NaNa – Movin’ On
Duffy – Warrick Avenue
Jennifer Hudson – Spotlight
Namie Amuro – New Look
Foxxi MisQ – X.B.F.
YA-KYIM – Super Looper
The Winner Is…YA-KYIM – Super Looper!
Now if you had to sit in a car with me you know that this song was on all the damn time. And for good reason because it is awesome! Add in the fact that all the ladies in this group are DAMN FINE (Especially Yurie) and all I have to say is we have a winnar!
Best J-Pop Video (Male)
KELUN – CHU-BURA
Toshinobu Kobota feat. Misia - Flying Easy Loving Crazy
TM Revolution – Resonance
L’Arc~en~Ciel – NEXUS 4
UVERworld – Koishikute
Home Made Kazoku – NO RAIN, NO RAINBOW
LONG SHOT PARTY – DISTANCE
Seamo feat Ayuze Kozue – Honey
The Winner Is... Toshinobu Kobota feat. Misia - Flying Easy Loving Crazy
This may be my favorite SONG of the year (Tune in for the Chachi Music Awards in January, bitches!) because it is the late night notes! When I first saw the video I had just watched the MTV Icon for TK and this video just made me say “Yeah, he deserves to be an Icon…unlike LL Cool J” because this is better than most of the R&B I have heard over the last 10 years. Welcome back, TK!
Best J-Pop Video (Female)
YUI – LAUGH AWAY
NaNa – Movin’ On
May J. – Do Tha, To Tha
Yuna Ito – I Miss You
Kumi Koda – TABOO
Namie Amuro – NEW LOOK
Hearts Grow – Sora
YA-KYIM – Super Looper
The Winner Is…NaNa – Movin’ On!
Okay, you know how much it hurt me that this song didn’t get as many nominations as it deserved in 2007 because of my cut off date for certain categories. But this year, NaNa gets her due because I was all about this video last year. From the first time I saw it, I was taken in and I have never looked back. Beyonce wishes her dancing repertoire was this deep (Rather than just gyrating and shit. That aint dancing, it’s stupid)
Well, those are the preshow awards handed out earlier this evening. Now it is time for the live show!
CAN YOU DIG IT?!?!?!?!?!
Let’s get started with one of the more interesting and well-rounded categories!
Breakthrough Video of the Year
Seamo feat Ayuze Kozue – Honey
Usher – Moving Mountains
T-Pain feat. Lil Wayne – I Can’t Believe It
Namie Amuro – New Look
Asian Kung Fu Generation – After Dark
Gnarles Barkley – Run
Crystal Kay – Shining
Linkin Park – Leave Out All The Rest
The Winner Is….. Asian Kung Fu Generation – After Dark!
Yeah, it got the “Bleach Bump” but this video has something more to it: heart. I was awaiting this videos premiere and when I finally saw it I was shocked. The video actually matched with the lyrics! You never see that in J-Rock anymore! Dir En Grey…I am SO LOOKING AT YOU. While not a big budget as T-Pain or Gnarles Barkley, it was till awesome.
Worst Video of the Year
G-Unit – Rider Pt. 2
Nana Tanimura – Jungle Dance
LL Cool J. feat. The Dream – Baby
Bi (Rain) – Any Dream
Lil Wayne feat. Static Major – Lollipop
Katy Perry – I Kissed A Girl
Nelly feat. Fergie – Party People
Leah Dizon – Vanilla
The Winner Is….. Katy Perry – I Kissed A Girl!
I hate this fucking song so fucking much. The video aint much better but man…why is she famous? I mean I know why Kato Kailen is famous but come on. This song sucks, she can’t sing and all she is doing is preying on the whoredome of impressionable, dumb bitches. Yet…I can’t knock her genius. Song still sucks, though.
Best Pop Video of the Year
Colbie Calliat - Realize
NLT – He Said, She Said
Paramore – That’s What You Get
James Morrison – You Give Me Something
Nelly Furtado – In God’s Hands
RBD – Inalcanzable
New Kids On The Block – Summertime
Lady GaGa – Just Dance
The Winner Is….Paramore – That’s What You Get!
Hells yeah! You know how I loves me some Paramore and you KNEW they were going to take an award home! Kind of sad they took it home at the expense of Colbie but this really captured how I feel about…well, everything. The video reminds me of a Porter party though with all the red cups and randomness. Great times!
Best J-Pop Video of the Year
Yui – Laugh Away
Hearts Grow – Sora
YA-KYIM – Super Looper
Namie Amuro – New Look
Bennie K – Monochrome
Foxxi MisQ – X.B.F.
Toshinobu Kobuta feat. Misia - Flying Easy Loving Crazy
NaNa – Show Girl
The Winner Is….Hearts Grow – Sora!
I cannot stop watching this video! I know I may (Read: WILL) get V& for loving it but it is so worth it! Hearts Grow picked up some nods for “Himawari” last year and this year finally took one home for one of the best videos of 2008. Can I just say…Haruna is rather “teh cute?” There, I said it.
Best K-Pop Video of the Year
Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl
SHINee – Replay
Wonder Girls – So Hot
Tae Yang – Prayer
Uhm Jung Hwa – D.I.S.C.O.
Big Bang – Haru Haru
Girls Generation (SNSD) – Kissing You
Jewelry – Everyone SHHH!
The Winner Is….Wonder Girls – So Hot!
God damn it…I am so going to the jail. I care not what anyone says: if you listen to ANY K-Pop in 2008 then you know and either love or despise this video. Even still, you know at least one full a part of the actual dance because it is so easy and this song is so-so-so-so-CATCHY! Damn you, jailbait!
Best J-Rock Video of the Year
FLOW – WORLD END
L’Arc~en~Ciel – DRINK IT DOWN
Nightmare – Lost In Blue
BACK-ON – Sands Of Time
KELUN – CHU-BURA
Maximum The Hormon – Tsume Tsume Tsume
HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – HOT LIMIT
Stance Punks – I Want To Be
The Winner Is….HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – HOT LIMIT!
Such a damn shame that HAMC is breaking up but this is a great way to go out: Covering a TM REVOLUTION classic! I loved the original and the cover actually HAS TM IN IT WITH ALL HIS BISHIE HAWT GLORY! Hell, the video is almost a full remake of the original (Even the outfit Hiroko wears!) which makes it bad to the ass.
Best R&B Video of the Year
Tae Yang – Look At Me
NaNa – Show Girl
John Legend feat Andre 3000 – Green Light
Alicia Keys – Like You’ll Never See Me Again
Toshinobu Kobuta feat. Misia - Flying Easy Loving Crazy
Usher feat Young Jeezy – Love In This Club
Foxxi MisQ – X.B.F.
Robin Thicke – Magic
The Winner Is…. Toshinobu Kobuta feat. Misia - Flying Easy Loving Crazy!
TK and Misia are running away with this year’s awards show! His second win in the R&B category shows a shift I think America should look at. Although Rain and Se7en are more pop than R&B, I think that TK would do quite well in America with videos like this. It is the bomb notes at karaoke once I get the words down!
Best Dance Video of the Year
Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl
Chris Brown – Forever
NaNa – Show Girl
Foxxi MisQ – X.B.F.
Usher feat Young Jeezy – Love In This Club
Wonder Girls – So Hot
Tae Yang - Prayer
May J. – Do Tha, Do Tha
The Winner Is…. Wonder Girls – So Hot!
Yeah...I am going to hate this year. This video had the best dance sequences of the year and you KNOW WHY. This song is just so-so-so-so-DANCEABLE! And since it has its own dance (Like the Soulja Boy but not crappy) you know you want to learn it. So go out and do it!
Best Rock Video of the Year
Asian Kung Fu Generation – After Dark
Paramore – That’s What You Get
Kelun – CHU-BURA
L`Arc~en~Ciel – DRINK IT DOWN
HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – HOT LIMIT
BACK-ON – Sands Of Time
UVERworld – Roots
Abingdon Boys School – BLADE CHORD
The Winner Is…..Paramore – That’s What You Get!
This was one hotly contested category! After running away with the Pop Video of the Year award, they win a hard fought battle in the Rock category. Paramore takes home their second award of the night, beating out both Abingdon Boys School (Last year’s winners!), HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR and KELUN. Such a hard fought win for the guys (And sexy lady) in a big year for rock videos!
Best Hip-Hop Video of the Year
Kanye West feat Chris Martin – Homecoming
Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On
T.I. – No Matter What
Snoop Dogg – Sexual Seduction
Game feat Keisha Cole – Game’s Pain
CRS (Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pharrell Williams) feat Thom Yorke – Us Placers
Lil’ Wayne feat Static Major - Lollipop
Fonzworth Bentley feat Kanye West & Andre 3000 – Everybody (Don’t Stop)
The Winner Is…Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On!
Yeah, I am just as shocked as you are. Two wins for a guy I wished death on in 2006. I never thought Young Jeezy would grow on me but this video was arguably my favorite rap video in a long time (Barring UGK’s “International Players Anthem”). The verses were great and the video actually had a…you know…point? It is something that has been lacking in hip hop videos over the last DECADE. Add in some Ye’ and you know its fire!
Best Video from An Anime
Asian Kung Fu Generation – After Dark (Bleach)
Hearts Grow – Sora (Tetsuwan Birdy Decode)
TM Revolution – Resonance (Soul Eater)
ON/OFF - Futatsu no Kodou to Akai Tsumi (Vampire Knight)
Megumi Hayashibara – Plenty of Grit (Slayers Revolutions)
Ikimono-Gakari – Blue Bird (Naruto: Shippuuden)
UVERworld – Geikido (D. Gray Man)
FLOW – WORLD END (Code Geass R2)
The Winner Is….Hearts Grow – Sora!
Hearts Grow brings home another one! This one was tough because I really like “Geikido” and “After Dark” but in the end I have to say that this song matches the anime opening to a tee. The series is light and the song is very floaty (If that’s a word) so they match awesomely! This gives Hearts Grow their second win of the night, tying them with a few others! Haruna, I love you!
Best Group Video of the Year
Kelun – CHU-BURA
Paramore – That’s What You Get
YA-KYIM – Super Looper
CRS (Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pharrell Williams) feat Thom Yorke – Us Placers
Wonder Girls – So Hot
HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – HOT LIMIT
Bennie K – Monochrome
Hearts Grow – Sora
The Winner Is….Bennie K – Monochrome!
About damn time! Despite my unhealthy obsession with Yuki and Cico, this is their first Chachi Music Video award ever! And this one is well deserved because I lived by this song for over six months this year. The song makes me cry and the video makes me reflective but in the end, sometimes a good cry is all you need. I’m straight, really! This also gives Bennie K their first win of the night!
Best Male Video of the Year
Usher feat Young Jeezy – Love In This Club
Toshinobu Kobuta feat. Misia - Flying Easy Loving Crazy
Kanye West feat Chris Martin – Homecoming
Game feat Keisha Cole – Game’s Pain
John Legend feat Andre 3000 – Green Light
Fonzworth Bentley feat Kanye West & Andre 3000 – Everybody (Don’t Stop)
Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On
T.I. – No Matter What
The Winner Is….Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On!
In the toughest category of the year, Young Jeezy comes out on top! With TK, T.I., Kanye, John Legend and Usher all vying for this award, this was some tough battlin’! Jeezy’s video has been running away with this show, with this being his THIRD award of the night! He and Toshinobu are now tied with Wonder Girls, Paramore, NaNa and Hearts Grow all having two themselves but this may just be Jeezy’s night!
Best Female Video of the Year
Nelly Furtado – In God’s Hands
Alicia Keyes – Like You’ll Never See Me Again
May J. – Do Tha, Do Tha
Yui – Laugh Away
NaNa – Showgirl
Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl
Erykah Badu - Honey
Yui – Namidairo
The Winner Is….NaNa – Show Girl!
This is a video that fell through the cracks due to the dominant return of Bennie K (Who debuted at #13 when this video hit the top) and followed the success of “Movin’ On” with its SIX WEEK RUN on the top. However, this video held its own against the competition and actually showed me the hawt NaNa over the kick-ass dancer NaNa (Although she busts a move in this one, too) and me likey a lot. So this gives NaNa three wins tonight with two different videos! Big stuff! Now it is time for the grand finale…
Best Video of the Year
Bennie K – Monochrome
CRS (Kanye West, Pharrell Williams & Lupe Fiasco) feat Thom York – Us Placers
NaNa – Movin On
Usher feat Young Jeezy – Love In This Club
YA-KYIM – Super Looper
Young Jeezy feat. Kanye West – Put On
Wonder Girls – So Hot
Paramore – That’s What You Get
The Winner Is…Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On!
UPSET OF THE YEAR! After the run that Bennie K had, they looked like a lock for this award. However, I really debated this one and Young Jeezy really stepped his game up with this one. NaNa and CRS came VERY close to taking this one home but CRS actually got shut out this year (With four nominations to boot!) while NaNa didn’t dominate as much in 2008 as “Put On” did. The video’s message meant a lot if you really think about it, a lot more than most videos. This was a hotly contested category with all the videos holding the top spot for multiple weeks but Young Jeezy and Kanye West edge out the competition (AND I MEAN EDGE!) to take the Video of the Year!
The Chachi Video Music Awards are officially over! It has been a kick ass year in music videos this year with big returns, big comebacks and continued success. Let’s have the final tally of the winners:
2+ Award Winners:
Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On = 4 Awards
• Hip Hop Video Of The Year
• Collaboration Video Of The Year
• Male Video Of The Year
• Passion of Chachi’s Video of the Year
Toshinobu Kobota feat. Misia – Flying Easy Loving Crazy = 3 Awards
• R&B Video of the Year – Male
• J-Pop Video of the Year – Male
• R&B Video of The Year
Two Awards
NaNa – Movin’ On & Show Girl
Female Video Of The Year
J-Pop Video Of The Year – Female
Paramore – That’s What You Get
Pop Video Of The Year
Rock Video Of The Year
Wonder Girls – So Hot
K-Pop Video Of The Year
Dance Video Of The Year
Hearts Grow – Sora
Best Video From An Anime
J-Pop Video Of The Year
Other Winners:
YA-KYIM – Super Looper (J-Pop Video Of The Year – Female)
Bennie K – Monochrome (Group Video Of The Year)
HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – HOT LIMIT (J-Rock Video Of The Year)
Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl (Comeback Video Of The Year)
Robin Thicke – Magic (Pop Video Of The Year – Male)
Duffy – Warrick Avenue (Pop Video Of The Year – Female)
Asian Kung Fu Generation – After Dark (Breakthrough Video Of The Year)
Katy Perry – I Kissed A Girl (Worst Video Of The Year)
Congratulations to all the winners! Well, except Katy Perry. She sucks. Tune in on November 21st when I announce the nominees for the Chachi Music Awards for the best albums and singles of the year! This is where I need your input peeps because I am kind of biased and just like the Video Awards, I am taking your suggestions! Except Katy Perry or Nelly. Until next time, peeps! Chachi is out and thank you for coming! I hope you enjoyed the awards and I will see you back here next November!
Chachi Out!
Passion of Chachi Presents: The Third Annual Chachi Video Awards!
Let’s start off with some pre-show awards!
Best Collaboration Video
Usher feat Young Jeezy – Love In This Club
Toshinobu Kobuta feat. Misia - Flying Easy Loving Crazy
Zeebra feat May J – Shinin’ Like A Diamond
John Legend feat Andre 3000 – Green Light
CRS (Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pharrell Williams) feat Thom Yorke – Us Placers
Fonzworth Bentley feat Kanye West & Andre 3000 – Everybody (Don’t Stop)
Game feat Keisha Cole – Game’s Pain
Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On
The Winner Is…Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On!
Now THIS is a collaboration. Now Fonzworth Bentley and company came close (Literally, they were the slotted winners until like 5 minutes ago!) and T.K. & Misia had a convincing argument due to how often I listened to them earlier this year. But this video had something that I haven’t seen in a hip hop video in a long time. The verses of Ye’ and Jeezy really just set this video off, and you know how I didn’t like Jeezy two years ago. What can I say, I believe in the Snowman now!
Best Pop Video (Male)
Kevin Rudolf feat Lil Wayne – Let It Rock
Daughtry – What About Now
Chris Brown – Forever
Rain (Bi) – Love Story
TM Revolution – Resonance
Robin Thicke – Magic
Fall Out Boy – I Don’t Care
Maroon 5 – Goodnight, Goodnight
The Winner Is…Robin Thicke – Magic!
Kind of a light year on the pop end of the spectrum but Robin Thicke once again proves that White boys can have some soul. The dance moves in the video are a tad bit too JT-esque but I can get over that. Besides, you KNOW this was your jam!
Best Pop Video (Female)
YUI- Summer Song
Colbie Calliat – Realize
Namie Amuro – NEW LOOK
Daffy – Warrick Avenue
NaNa – Movin’ On
Nelly Furtado – In God’s Hands
Alicia Keys – Teenage Love Affair
Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl
The Winner Is…Duffy – Warrick Avenue!
Okay…I am a closet Duffy fan. Even more so than I am a closet Colbie Calliat fan and she came hella close to winning this one. However, seeing as how I listen to “Warrick Avenue” whenever I feel sad and the video makes me even sadder…I have to give it the nod.
Best R&B Video (Male)
John Legend feat Andre 3000 – Green Light
T-Pain feat Lil’ Wayne – I Can’t Believe It
Robin Thicke – Magic
Ne-Yo – Closer
Rain (Bi) – Love Story
Usher feat Young Jeezy – Love In This Club
Chris Brown – Forever
Toshinobu Kobuta feat. Misia - Flying Easy Loving Crazy
The Winner Is… Toshinobu Kobuta feat. Misia - Flying Easy Loving Crazy!
Once again, another last second change! John Legend looked to have this one won from TK by a hair but I really had to take into account just HOW MUCH I LOVED THIS VIDEO THIS SPRING! I mean you know I was all over this on the Countdown and if you know me personally, on general purpose. TK is finally getting some US love, peeps!
Best Comeback Video
Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl
Bennie K – Monochrome
John Legend feat Andre 3000 – Green Light
Rain (Bi) – Love Story
Toshinobu Kobuta feat. Misia - Flying Easy Loving Crazy
New Kids On The Block – Summertime
TM Revolution – Resonance
Usher feat Young Jeezy – Love In This Club
The Winner Is…Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl!
You know, I have been a Hyori Lee fan for a minute (Ever since “10 Minutes” actually) and after the whole “Get Ya” fiasco I wondered how she would take it. I mean, being accused of stealing from Britney Spears is SAD. However, after this video I will never doubt her again. This video was hella hot and although she needs to eat a sandwich…I would hit that.
Best R&B Video (Female)
Alicia Keys – Teenage Love Affair
Rihanna - Disturbia
NaNa – Movin’ On
Duffy – Warrick Avenue
Jennifer Hudson – Spotlight
Namie Amuro – New Look
Foxxi MisQ – X.B.F.
YA-KYIM – Super Looper
The Winner Is…YA-KYIM – Super Looper!
Now if you had to sit in a car with me you know that this song was on all the damn time. And for good reason because it is awesome! Add in the fact that all the ladies in this group are DAMN FINE (Especially Yurie) and all I have to say is we have a winnar!
Best J-Pop Video (Male)
KELUN – CHU-BURA
Toshinobu Kobota feat. Misia - Flying Easy Loving Crazy
TM Revolution – Resonance
L’Arc~en~Ciel – NEXUS 4
UVERworld – Koishikute
Home Made Kazoku – NO RAIN, NO RAINBOW
LONG SHOT PARTY – DISTANCE
Seamo feat Ayuze Kozue – Honey
The Winner Is... Toshinobu Kobota feat. Misia - Flying Easy Loving Crazy
This may be my favorite SONG of the year (Tune in for the Chachi Music Awards in January, bitches!) because it is the late night notes! When I first saw the video I had just watched the MTV Icon for TK and this video just made me say “Yeah, he deserves to be an Icon…unlike LL Cool J” because this is better than most of the R&B I have heard over the last 10 years. Welcome back, TK!
Best J-Pop Video (Female)
YUI – LAUGH AWAY
NaNa – Movin’ On
May J. – Do Tha, To Tha
Yuna Ito – I Miss You
Kumi Koda – TABOO
Namie Amuro – NEW LOOK
Hearts Grow – Sora
YA-KYIM – Super Looper
The Winner Is…NaNa – Movin’ On!
Okay, you know how much it hurt me that this song didn’t get as many nominations as it deserved in 2007 because of my cut off date for certain categories. But this year, NaNa gets her due because I was all about this video last year. From the first time I saw it, I was taken in and I have never looked back. Beyonce wishes her dancing repertoire was this deep (Rather than just gyrating and shit. That aint dancing, it’s stupid)
Well, those are the preshow awards handed out earlier this evening. Now it is time for the live show!
CAN YOU DIG IT?!?!?!?!?!
Let’s get started with one of the more interesting and well-rounded categories!
Breakthrough Video of the Year
Seamo feat Ayuze Kozue – Honey
Usher – Moving Mountains
T-Pain feat. Lil Wayne – I Can’t Believe It
Namie Amuro – New Look
Asian Kung Fu Generation – After Dark
Gnarles Barkley – Run
Crystal Kay – Shining
Linkin Park – Leave Out All The Rest
The Winner Is….. Asian Kung Fu Generation – After Dark!
Yeah, it got the “Bleach Bump” but this video has something more to it: heart. I was awaiting this videos premiere and when I finally saw it I was shocked. The video actually matched with the lyrics! You never see that in J-Rock anymore! Dir En Grey…I am SO LOOKING AT YOU. While not a big budget as T-Pain or Gnarles Barkley, it was till awesome.
Worst Video of the Year
G-Unit – Rider Pt. 2
Nana Tanimura – Jungle Dance
LL Cool J. feat. The Dream – Baby
Bi (Rain) – Any Dream
Lil Wayne feat. Static Major – Lollipop
Katy Perry – I Kissed A Girl
Nelly feat. Fergie – Party People
Leah Dizon – Vanilla
The Winner Is….. Katy Perry – I Kissed A Girl!
I hate this fucking song so fucking much. The video aint much better but man…why is she famous? I mean I know why Kato Kailen is famous but come on. This song sucks, she can’t sing and all she is doing is preying on the whoredome of impressionable, dumb bitches. Yet…I can’t knock her genius. Song still sucks, though.
Best Pop Video of the Year
Colbie Calliat - Realize
NLT – He Said, She Said
Paramore – That’s What You Get
James Morrison – You Give Me Something
Nelly Furtado – In God’s Hands
RBD – Inalcanzable
New Kids On The Block – Summertime
Lady GaGa – Just Dance
The Winner Is….Paramore – That’s What You Get!
Hells yeah! You know how I loves me some Paramore and you KNEW they were going to take an award home! Kind of sad they took it home at the expense of Colbie but this really captured how I feel about…well, everything. The video reminds me of a Porter party though with all the red cups and randomness. Great times!
Best J-Pop Video of the Year
Yui – Laugh Away
Hearts Grow – Sora
YA-KYIM – Super Looper
Namie Amuro – New Look
Bennie K – Monochrome
Foxxi MisQ – X.B.F.
Toshinobu Kobuta feat. Misia - Flying Easy Loving Crazy
NaNa – Show Girl
The Winner Is….Hearts Grow – Sora!
I cannot stop watching this video! I know I may (Read: WILL) get V& for loving it but it is so worth it! Hearts Grow picked up some nods for “Himawari” last year and this year finally took one home for one of the best videos of 2008. Can I just say…Haruna is rather “teh cute?” There, I said it.
Best K-Pop Video of the Year
Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl
SHINee – Replay
Wonder Girls – So Hot
Tae Yang – Prayer
Uhm Jung Hwa – D.I.S.C.O.
Big Bang – Haru Haru
Girls Generation (SNSD) – Kissing You
Jewelry – Everyone SHHH!
The Winner Is….Wonder Girls – So Hot!
God damn it…I am so going to the jail. I care not what anyone says: if you listen to ANY K-Pop in 2008 then you know and either love or despise this video. Even still, you know at least one full a part of the actual dance because it is so easy and this song is so-so-so-so-CATCHY! Damn you, jailbait!
Best J-Rock Video of the Year
FLOW – WORLD END
L’Arc~en~Ciel – DRINK IT DOWN
Nightmare – Lost In Blue
BACK-ON – Sands Of Time
KELUN – CHU-BURA
Maximum The Hormon – Tsume Tsume Tsume
HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – HOT LIMIT
Stance Punks – I Want To Be
The Winner Is….HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – HOT LIMIT!
Such a damn shame that HAMC is breaking up but this is a great way to go out: Covering a TM REVOLUTION classic! I loved the original and the cover actually HAS TM IN IT WITH ALL HIS BISHIE HAWT GLORY! Hell, the video is almost a full remake of the original (Even the outfit Hiroko wears!) which makes it bad to the ass.
Best R&B Video of the Year
Tae Yang – Look At Me
NaNa – Show Girl
John Legend feat Andre 3000 – Green Light
Alicia Keys – Like You’ll Never See Me Again
Toshinobu Kobuta feat. Misia - Flying Easy Loving Crazy
Usher feat Young Jeezy – Love In This Club
Foxxi MisQ – X.B.F.
Robin Thicke – Magic
The Winner Is…. Toshinobu Kobuta feat. Misia - Flying Easy Loving Crazy!
TK and Misia are running away with this year’s awards show! His second win in the R&B category shows a shift I think America should look at. Although Rain and Se7en are more pop than R&B, I think that TK would do quite well in America with videos like this. It is the bomb notes at karaoke once I get the words down!
Best Dance Video of the Year
Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl
Chris Brown – Forever
NaNa – Show Girl
Foxxi MisQ – X.B.F.
Usher feat Young Jeezy – Love In This Club
Wonder Girls – So Hot
Tae Yang - Prayer
May J. – Do Tha, Do Tha
The Winner Is…. Wonder Girls – So Hot!
Yeah...I am going to hate this year. This video had the best dance sequences of the year and you KNOW WHY. This song is just so-so-so-so-DANCEABLE! And since it has its own dance (Like the Soulja Boy but not crappy) you know you want to learn it. So go out and do it!
Best Rock Video of the Year
Asian Kung Fu Generation – After Dark
Paramore – That’s What You Get
Kelun – CHU-BURA
L`Arc~en~Ciel – DRINK IT DOWN
HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – HOT LIMIT
BACK-ON – Sands Of Time
UVERworld – Roots
Abingdon Boys School – BLADE CHORD
The Winner Is…..Paramore – That’s What You Get!
This was one hotly contested category! After running away with the Pop Video of the Year award, they win a hard fought battle in the Rock category. Paramore takes home their second award of the night, beating out both Abingdon Boys School (Last year’s winners!), HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR and KELUN. Such a hard fought win for the guys (And sexy lady) in a big year for rock videos!
Best Hip-Hop Video of the Year
Kanye West feat Chris Martin – Homecoming
Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On
T.I. – No Matter What
Snoop Dogg – Sexual Seduction
Game feat Keisha Cole – Game’s Pain
CRS (Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pharrell Williams) feat Thom Yorke – Us Placers
Lil’ Wayne feat Static Major - Lollipop
Fonzworth Bentley feat Kanye West & Andre 3000 – Everybody (Don’t Stop)
The Winner Is…Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On!
Yeah, I am just as shocked as you are. Two wins for a guy I wished death on in 2006. I never thought Young Jeezy would grow on me but this video was arguably my favorite rap video in a long time (Barring UGK’s “International Players Anthem”). The verses were great and the video actually had a…you know…point? It is something that has been lacking in hip hop videos over the last DECADE. Add in some Ye’ and you know its fire!
Best Video from An Anime
Asian Kung Fu Generation – After Dark (Bleach)
Hearts Grow – Sora (Tetsuwan Birdy Decode)
TM Revolution – Resonance (Soul Eater)
ON/OFF - Futatsu no Kodou to Akai Tsumi (Vampire Knight)
Megumi Hayashibara – Plenty of Grit (Slayers Revolutions)
Ikimono-Gakari – Blue Bird (Naruto: Shippuuden)
UVERworld – Geikido (D. Gray Man)
FLOW – WORLD END (Code Geass R2)
The Winner Is….Hearts Grow – Sora!
Hearts Grow brings home another one! This one was tough because I really like “Geikido” and “After Dark” but in the end I have to say that this song matches the anime opening to a tee. The series is light and the song is very floaty (If that’s a word) so they match awesomely! This gives Hearts Grow their second win of the night, tying them with a few others! Haruna, I love you!
Best Group Video of the Year
Kelun – CHU-BURA
Paramore – That’s What You Get
YA-KYIM – Super Looper
CRS (Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pharrell Williams) feat Thom Yorke – Us Placers
Wonder Girls – So Hot
HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – HOT LIMIT
Bennie K – Monochrome
Hearts Grow – Sora
The Winner Is….Bennie K – Monochrome!
About damn time! Despite my unhealthy obsession with Yuki and Cico, this is their first Chachi Music Video award ever! And this one is well deserved because I lived by this song for over six months this year. The song makes me cry and the video makes me reflective but in the end, sometimes a good cry is all you need. I’m straight, really! This also gives Bennie K their first win of the night!
Best Male Video of the Year
Usher feat Young Jeezy – Love In This Club
Toshinobu Kobuta feat. Misia - Flying Easy Loving Crazy
Kanye West feat Chris Martin – Homecoming
Game feat Keisha Cole – Game’s Pain
John Legend feat Andre 3000 – Green Light
Fonzworth Bentley feat Kanye West & Andre 3000 – Everybody (Don’t Stop)
Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On
T.I. – No Matter What
The Winner Is….Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On!
In the toughest category of the year, Young Jeezy comes out on top! With TK, T.I., Kanye, John Legend and Usher all vying for this award, this was some tough battlin’! Jeezy’s video has been running away with this show, with this being his THIRD award of the night! He and Toshinobu are now tied with Wonder Girls, Paramore, NaNa and Hearts Grow all having two themselves but this may just be Jeezy’s night!
Best Female Video of the Year
Nelly Furtado – In God’s Hands
Alicia Keyes – Like You’ll Never See Me Again
May J. – Do Tha, Do Tha
Yui – Laugh Away
NaNa – Showgirl
Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl
Erykah Badu - Honey
Yui – Namidairo
The Winner Is….NaNa – Show Girl!
This is a video that fell through the cracks due to the dominant return of Bennie K (Who debuted at #13 when this video hit the top) and followed the success of “Movin’ On” with its SIX WEEK RUN on the top. However, this video held its own against the competition and actually showed me the hawt NaNa over the kick-ass dancer NaNa (Although she busts a move in this one, too) and me likey a lot. So this gives NaNa three wins tonight with two different videos! Big stuff! Now it is time for the grand finale…
Best Video of the Year
Bennie K – Monochrome
CRS (Kanye West, Pharrell Williams & Lupe Fiasco) feat Thom York – Us Placers
NaNa – Movin On
Usher feat Young Jeezy – Love In This Club
YA-KYIM – Super Looper
Young Jeezy feat. Kanye West – Put On
Wonder Girls – So Hot
Paramore – That’s What You Get
The Winner Is…Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On!
UPSET OF THE YEAR! After the run that Bennie K had, they looked like a lock for this award. However, I really debated this one and Young Jeezy really stepped his game up with this one. NaNa and CRS came VERY close to taking this one home but CRS actually got shut out this year (With four nominations to boot!) while NaNa didn’t dominate as much in 2008 as “Put On” did. The video’s message meant a lot if you really think about it, a lot more than most videos. This was a hotly contested category with all the videos holding the top spot for multiple weeks but Young Jeezy and Kanye West edge out the competition (AND I MEAN EDGE!) to take the Video of the Year!
The Chachi Video Music Awards are officially over! It has been a kick ass year in music videos this year with big returns, big comebacks and continued success. Let’s have the final tally of the winners:
2+ Award Winners:
Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On = 4 Awards
• Hip Hop Video Of The Year
• Collaboration Video Of The Year
• Male Video Of The Year
• Passion of Chachi’s Video of the Year
Toshinobu Kobota feat. Misia – Flying Easy Loving Crazy = 3 Awards
• R&B Video of the Year – Male
• J-Pop Video of the Year – Male
• R&B Video of The Year
Two Awards
NaNa – Movin’ On & Show Girl
Female Video Of The Year
J-Pop Video Of The Year – Female
Paramore – That’s What You Get
Pop Video Of The Year
Rock Video Of The Year
Wonder Girls – So Hot
K-Pop Video Of The Year
Dance Video Of The Year
Hearts Grow – Sora
Best Video From An Anime
J-Pop Video Of The Year
Other Winners:
YA-KYIM – Super Looper (J-Pop Video Of The Year – Female)
Bennie K – Monochrome (Group Video Of The Year)
HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – HOT LIMIT (J-Rock Video Of The Year)
Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl (Comeback Video Of The Year)
Robin Thicke – Magic (Pop Video Of The Year – Male)
Duffy – Warrick Avenue (Pop Video Of The Year – Female)
Asian Kung Fu Generation – After Dark (Breakthrough Video Of The Year)
Katy Perry – I Kissed A Girl (Worst Video Of The Year)
Congratulations to all the winners! Well, except Katy Perry. She sucks. Tune in on November 21st when I announce the nominees for the Chachi Music Awards for the best albums and singles of the year! This is where I need your input peeps because I am kind of biased and just like the Video Awards, I am taking your suggestions! Except Katy Perry or Nelly. Until next time, peeps! Chachi is out and thank you for coming! I hope you enjoyed the awards and I will see you back here next November!
Chachi Out!
Friday, November 07, 2008
The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same...
What is up, peeps! It is Friday and things are looking quite the nice (Except it being cold as hell outside) and before I head out to run the streets it is time for the end of the work week staple!
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
First, let me begin with the videos that have fallen out of the Countdown…
Falling Out:
Game feat Lil’ Wayne – My Life (Peaked at #5)
It was a big year for Game (And bigger for Lil’ Wayne, depending on who you ask) with two 5Top Five videos but he finally falls off this week. Nothing new on the horizon but who knows.
Let’s get this par-tay started!
20. YUI – I’ll Be (New Entry)
YUI IS BACK! This gives her four videos on the Countdown for the year of 2008 (Second only to Kanye West) but she hasn’t reached number one in over a year and a half! This song is in between “Life” and “Rolling Star” in terms of rocking which makes it rather perfect. Can this video break the streak?
19. NERD feat Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pusha-T – Everybody Nose (Remix) (Last Week #15)
Well, it looks like the supergroup of 2008 will NOT have an album out by the end of this year like I was promised. However, Lupe’s next album is supposed to be a three disc set so I know what I will be rocking all 2009.
18. Rain (Bi) – Love Story (Last Week #16)
Rain falls two big spots this week as he once again has two videos on the chart. It is good to see him back, although I am wondering what the hell is up with his “magic stick” dance because I hate it. Everything else is right on time though.
17. FLOW – WORLD END (Last Week #13)
Could the world be ending for FLOW? It has been a while since they released a new video or single and despite the awesomeness of this video, it can’t stay on here forever.
16. Rain (Bi) – Rainism (Last Week #20)
More Rain is always great! I wonder if he is getting enough sleep, though. His eyes look puffy as all hell lately.
15. Fonzworth Bentley feat Andre 3000 & Kanye West – Everybody [Don’t Stop] (Last Week #12, Two Weeks at #1)
Okay, where in the hell is the follow-up? I was really thinking that this could be the start of something big but instead I am left hanging. Just like my luck with the ladies….*le sigh*
14. Big Bang – Number 1 (Last Week #14)
New video already?! Damn, these dudes are busy as hell to end the year!
13. BoA – Eat You Up [Korean Version] (Last Week #17)
So I must say this…she is really sexing it up for no reason for her American release. What I loved about BoA was her cuteness and ability to be sexy without having to get her eagle on. Looks like she will be doing that soon enough. NO, BoA, NO!
12. John Legend feat Andre 3000 – Green Light (Last Week #10, One Week at #1)
Okay, Evolver is a kickass album. I am just going to say it right here and right now. Go out and buy that thing RIGHT NOW!
11. Yuna Ito – Miss You (Last Week #9)
MORE YUNA ITO! And it is danceable to boot! Too bad this video has to fall from the Top 10 but Yuna Ito dance = sexy fun time for me! See “Losin” and “Stuck On You” for further reference.
10. UVERworld – Koishikute (Last Week #8)
NEW UVERWORLD! AND HOLY FUCK DOES IT ROCK YOUR FACE! It is about time these guys just picked up the instruments and went all “D-Technolife” on our asses. This video stays in the Top Ten this week to continue their success but look out for their new one!
9. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Remember (Last Week #11)
HAMC continue to move up this week with their swan song. Can I just say that I am still in shock about their break-up? I mean they have been around for a while and making great music but man it is still a shock.
8. T.I. feat Rihanna – Live Your Life (Last Week #18) [Biggest Mover]
Well, who didn’t see this coming? I mean seriously? I am all about this song (Soon to be the next ringback along with Rick Astley) and this video is at least better than anything 50 Cent has laid on our doorsteps.
7. Alicia Keys - Superwoman (Last Week #7)
Alicia Keys stands pat this week at number seven as we move on. Okay, the song from the Bond movie will be on here. I hate the White Stripes but dammit I love that video! And Alicia is looking all fine in the video, too. Damn you woman!
6. Hyori Lee – Hey Mr. Big! (Last Week #5)
Miss Hyo-Ri falls only one spot this week as we near the Chachi Awards on Sunday. She has had a good comeback after the whole “Dark Angel” debacle. Also I have to say that…she is damn fine. You know it, quit acting like you don’t!
5. Kumi Koda – Taboo (Last Week #6)
Kumi Koda is in the Top Five again! It has been a while (And a lot of either bad or weird videos) but she is back near the top and I must say…I have missed you, baby. Not as vulgar as “Juicy” (Although I wish it was) or as bad as “But” which makes it Top Five material.
4. T.I. – What Up, What’s Happening (Last Week #2)
Looks like the King falls two spots this week with his latest video pretty much on his heels. It has been a big year for the soon to be in jail T.I. including three Top 10 videos and a number one along with that. Despite all that…he will be gone for pretty much all of 2009 due to dumbfuckery. At least he voted. We are down to three!
3. Hearts Grow – Sora (Last Week #4, Three Weeks at #1)
After falling from the top spot last week, Hearts Grow bounces back this week to number three! Can they pull a UGK and take the top spot back after falling from the throne? If any song can do it…it is this one.
2. Wonder Girls - Nobody (Last Week #1, One Week at #1)
After only one week at number one, the Wonder Girls fall a spot this week to the runner up position! That gives them two number one videos in the last half of 2008, both in impressive fashion. Problem is that listening to them will get me V& and I really don’t like the jail. Well, with the Wonder Girls at number two, we have a new number one!
1. Kanye West – Love Lockdown (Last Week #3, One Week at #1)
Look who it is! For the FIFTH TIME in 2008, Kanye West tops the Countdown! Say what you will about Kanye, he continues to make changes in what he does to differentiate himself from the rest of the rap game. Now I for one am SICK of the vocorder but one way to make it work is to have a song that doesn’t suck and a video that confuses the hell out of me. This has both! Which is why it tops the Countdown this week!
That is all for now, peeps! Tune in next Friday to see of Kanye can hold on to the top for a second week in a row! Or can the Wonder Girls return to the top spot? Or will Hearts Grow bounce back and make it a month at the top? See you in seven to find out!
Well, I am off to see “Madagascar 2” and then get some sushi. Tomorrow is “Soul Men” and “Role Models” (I think it is called that) so this weekend is action packed since it is my last free weekend (If you didn’t know, I am working in Denver again as of the 17th). Stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
First, let me begin with the videos that have fallen out of the Countdown…
Falling Out:
Game feat Lil’ Wayne – My Life (Peaked at #5)
It was a big year for Game (And bigger for Lil’ Wayne, depending on who you ask) with two 5Top Five videos but he finally falls off this week. Nothing new on the horizon but who knows.
Let’s get this par-tay started!
20. YUI – I’ll Be (New Entry)
YUI IS BACK! This gives her four videos on the Countdown for the year of 2008 (Second only to Kanye West) but she hasn’t reached number one in over a year and a half! This song is in between “Life” and “Rolling Star” in terms of rocking which makes it rather perfect. Can this video break the streak?
19. NERD feat Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pusha-T – Everybody Nose (Remix) (Last Week #15)
Well, it looks like the supergroup of 2008 will NOT have an album out by the end of this year like I was promised. However, Lupe’s next album is supposed to be a three disc set so I know what I will be rocking all 2009.
18. Rain (Bi) – Love Story (Last Week #16)
Rain falls two big spots this week as he once again has two videos on the chart. It is good to see him back, although I am wondering what the hell is up with his “magic stick” dance because I hate it. Everything else is right on time though.
17. FLOW – WORLD END (Last Week #13)
Could the world be ending for FLOW? It has been a while since they released a new video or single and despite the awesomeness of this video, it can’t stay on here forever.
16. Rain (Bi) – Rainism (Last Week #20)
More Rain is always great! I wonder if he is getting enough sleep, though. His eyes look puffy as all hell lately.
15. Fonzworth Bentley feat Andre 3000 & Kanye West – Everybody [Don’t Stop] (Last Week #12, Two Weeks at #1)
Okay, where in the hell is the follow-up? I was really thinking that this could be the start of something big but instead I am left hanging. Just like my luck with the ladies….*le sigh*
14. Big Bang – Number 1 (Last Week #14)
New video already?! Damn, these dudes are busy as hell to end the year!
13. BoA – Eat You Up [Korean Version] (Last Week #17)
So I must say this…she is really sexing it up for no reason for her American release. What I loved about BoA was her cuteness and ability to be sexy without having to get her eagle on. Looks like she will be doing that soon enough. NO, BoA, NO!
12. John Legend feat Andre 3000 – Green Light (Last Week #10, One Week at #1)
Okay, Evolver is a kickass album. I am just going to say it right here and right now. Go out and buy that thing RIGHT NOW!
11. Yuna Ito – Miss You (Last Week #9)
MORE YUNA ITO! And it is danceable to boot! Too bad this video has to fall from the Top 10 but Yuna Ito dance = sexy fun time for me! See “Losin” and “Stuck On You” for further reference.
10. UVERworld – Koishikute (Last Week #8)
NEW UVERWORLD! AND HOLY FUCK DOES IT ROCK YOUR FACE! It is about time these guys just picked up the instruments and went all “D-Technolife” on our asses. This video stays in the Top Ten this week to continue their success but look out for their new one!
9. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Remember (Last Week #11)
HAMC continue to move up this week with their swan song. Can I just say that I am still in shock about their break-up? I mean they have been around for a while and making great music but man it is still a shock.
8. T.I. feat Rihanna – Live Your Life (Last Week #18) [Biggest Mover]
Well, who didn’t see this coming? I mean seriously? I am all about this song (Soon to be the next ringback along with Rick Astley) and this video is at least better than anything 50 Cent has laid on our doorsteps.
7. Alicia Keys - Superwoman (Last Week #7)
Alicia Keys stands pat this week at number seven as we move on. Okay, the song from the Bond movie will be on here. I hate the White Stripes but dammit I love that video! And Alicia is looking all fine in the video, too. Damn you woman!
6. Hyori Lee – Hey Mr. Big! (Last Week #5)
Miss Hyo-Ri falls only one spot this week as we near the Chachi Awards on Sunday. She has had a good comeback after the whole “Dark Angel” debacle. Also I have to say that…she is damn fine. You know it, quit acting like you don’t!
5. Kumi Koda – Taboo (Last Week #6)
Kumi Koda is in the Top Five again! It has been a while (And a lot of either bad or weird videos) but she is back near the top and I must say…I have missed you, baby. Not as vulgar as “Juicy” (Although I wish it was) or as bad as “But” which makes it Top Five material.
4. T.I. – What Up, What’s Happening (Last Week #2)
Looks like the King falls two spots this week with his latest video pretty much on his heels. It has been a big year for the soon to be in jail T.I. including three Top 10 videos and a number one along with that. Despite all that…he will be gone for pretty much all of 2009 due to dumbfuckery. At least he voted. We are down to three!
3. Hearts Grow – Sora (Last Week #4, Three Weeks at #1)
After falling from the top spot last week, Hearts Grow bounces back this week to number three! Can they pull a UGK and take the top spot back after falling from the throne? If any song can do it…it is this one.
2. Wonder Girls - Nobody (Last Week #1, One Week at #1)
After only one week at number one, the Wonder Girls fall a spot this week to the runner up position! That gives them two number one videos in the last half of 2008, both in impressive fashion. Problem is that listening to them will get me V& and I really don’t like the jail. Well, with the Wonder Girls at number two, we have a new number one!
1. Kanye West – Love Lockdown (Last Week #3, One Week at #1)
Look who it is! For the FIFTH TIME in 2008, Kanye West tops the Countdown! Say what you will about Kanye, he continues to make changes in what he does to differentiate himself from the rest of the rap game. Now I for one am SICK of the vocorder but one way to make it work is to have a song that doesn’t suck and a video that confuses the hell out of me. This has both! Which is why it tops the Countdown this week!
That is all for now, peeps! Tune in next Friday to see of Kanye can hold on to the top for a second week in a row! Or can the Wonder Girls return to the top spot? Or will Hearts Grow bounce back and make it a month at the top? See you in seven to find out!
Well, I am off to see “Madagascar 2” and then get some sushi. Tomorrow is “Soul Men” and “Role Models” (I think it is called that) so this weekend is action packed since it is my last free weekend (If you didn’t know, I am working in Denver again as of the 17th). Stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Voting: It's All Fun And Games Until Jesus Gets Involved.
First off, how many of you voted FOR Proposition 48? Understand one thing: A ZYGOTE IS NOT A PERSON. It is an egg (Or whatever, I am still kind of buzzin right now. I needs me a drank!). I am going to get an Egg McMuffin right now to prove my damn point. Yaaaay, I aborted a chicken baby! And it was delicious. A zygote can't vote, go to war or sing along with the greatest song of all time: BOSTON'S "MORE THAN A FEELING":
Also, fuck California for passing Proposition 8. Being married is something that I always thought was wrong by definition (Unless marriage involves driving around in a tiny airplane fighting crime like the Rescue Rangers, I aint interested. Even still, the fact that you bible bumping asshats would take the right of people to marry because gays are happier together than your straight asses (It's true, gays are a naturally happy people. Like Greeks!) shows how un-Christian you really are. You expect me to believe that Jesus wasn’t AT LEAST bi-curious? Judas was jilted, that's why he was pissed. YOU SAID LOVED-DID-DID-DID ME JESUS! Yeah, I went there and if you are offended then FUCK YOU because you are a bigot for not wanting gays to participate in the same act all straight Christians participate in with a failure at a 50% clip. And you people wonder why you never get an NFL team. BTW, anyone down to see “Milk” at the end of this month with me?:
I’ll be there. But not for Sean Penn. Lastly, as for Carrie Underwood…I didn’t know you were a celebrity. The more you know, I guess….jackass.
Chachi Out
Also, fuck California for passing Proposition 8. Being married is something that I always thought was wrong by definition (Unless marriage involves driving around in a tiny airplane fighting crime like the Rescue Rangers, I aint interested. Even still, the fact that you bible bumping asshats would take the right of people to marry because gays are happier together than your straight asses (It's true, gays are a naturally happy people. Like Greeks!) shows how un-Christian you really are. You expect me to believe that Jesus wasn’t AT LEAST bi-curious? Judas was jilted, that's why he was pissed. YOU SAID LOVED-DID-DID-DID ME JESUS! Yeah, I went there and if you are offended then FUCK YOU because you are a bigot for not wanting gays to participate in the same act all straight Christians participate in with a failure at a 50% clip. And you people wonder why you never get an NFL team. BTW, anyone down to see “Milk” at the end of this month with me?:
I’ll be there. But not for Sean Penn. Lastly, as for Carrie Underwood…I didn’t know you were a celebrity. The more you know, I guess….jackass.
Chachi Out
2008: The Year The Bullshit About Being Able To Be Anything You Want To Be Actually Came True.
Say what you will about what came to pass tonight, but when John Lewis was asked about what Barack Obama's win tonight meant to him...even I teared up a bit. Again, say what you need to about whatever you want but after being through what he has been through (You know, getting his ass kicked by the police in the Grand Old South because he wanted...you know...fair treatment and all) this moment is big for him and I am happy for him after seeing what he has seen and going through what he has gone through to finally see this day:
I could do without Jesse Jackson because he annoys the shit out of me but...he's kind of everywhere like Lil Wayne was on the remix earlier this year. Unlike Lil' Wayne, Barack Obama delivered. With the election done and people already bitching about the downfall of America (Which if you believe...I just hope you die because as The Outlawz would say you are "non service" because if you believe that socialism will be brought into play from a bunch of shits in Washington that can't even figure out how to play a game of Chutes-N-Ladders then you are just sad) it is time to let the division of America by the over-zealous, hippie douchebag liberals and the pissed-off-for-no-reason "aw nah, we gonna lose our guns and freedom, Jethro!" conservatives zombie twits begin....
....NOW.
You know, you fuckers are both shitting on a historic night. If you don't get WHY it is historic then you can just suck my balls. Yes, my balls. You can suck them...dry...JACKASSES. I am out, the day is done and quit yer bitching. You lose one election and you act like the United States is going to be raped by the Skrulls or some shit. Read the comic, Captain America (Albeit Bucky), Thor and Iron Man save us from the Skrulls and a new arc begins. Or something like that, they are on six of seven and I am guessing about the ending.
And that is all. Good night, peeps.
Chachi Out
I could do without Jesse Jackson because he annoys the shit out of me but...he's kind of everywhere like Lil Wayne was on the remix earlier this year. Unlike Lil' Wayne, Barack Obama delivered. With the election done and people already bitching about the downfall of America (Which if you believe...I just hope you die because as The Outlawz would say you are "non service" because if you believe that socialism will be brought into play from a bunch of shits in Washington that can't even figure out how to play a game of Chutes-N-Ladders then you are just sad) it is time to let the division of America by the over-zealous, hippie douchebag liberals and the pissed-off-for-no-reason "aw nah, we gonna lose our guns and freedom, Jethro!" conservatives zombie twits begin....
....NOW.
You know, you fuckers are both shitting on a historic night. If you don't get WHY it is historic then you can just suck my balls. Yes, my balls. You can suck them...dry...JACKASSES. I am out, the day is done and quit yer bitching. You lose one election and you act like the United States is going to be raped by the Skrulls or some shit. Read the comic, Captain America (Albeit Bucky), Thor and Iron Man save us from the Skrulls and a new arc begins. Or something like that, they are on six of seven and I am guessing about the ending.
And that is all. Good night, peeps.
Chachi Out
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