Hip Hop, You Don't Stop!

Hey, ya’ll! I gues I am back on the scene today because I missed you all so. That and I am bored as all hell for a little while. With that being said, it is time for a little review! It has been a while since I have done one so here goes…

Master Chief Chachi Goes Small Screen!

This week: Vh1’s Hip Hop Honors 2007!

Well, first things first. I am totally hip hop. Just because I don’t like the new stuff doesn’t mean I aitn old school. What qualifies me as old school?

1. I own all three “Breakin” movies. Yes, all THREE. I even have the only released in Belarus “Breakin 3: Pop-N-Lock Brigaide” when Turbo and Ozone go to save their old breakdancing buddy from a war camp in Cambodia using only their funky fresh dance moves. It was fresh!
2. I’ve been involved in a hip hop beef. Its true, in 1988 I hit Mos Def in the head with a St. Ides bottle at a club in Hartford. We sent dis tracks at eachother, but we made up in 1990. We even released a peace track called “Niggas, Stop Being Niggas!”. Needless to say, it was well before its time.
3. I got shot. Really, in 1999 while I was getting a jug of juice of Wal-Mart. The shooter was linked to Snoop Dogg but nothing ever came of it because....no one solves rap shootings.
4. Supahead knows me. We met once at a Mall in Vegas. Well, by met I mean saw her from about a block away but still, more than most people can say. Sadly, we never had the sex because as you know, I havent had consensual sex with a woman without money involved. I’m sure Kristale hated every minute of it.

So those are my credentials. Let’s begin with the review!

Honoree #1: Missy Elliott

You know, no issues here. I have been a fan of Missy since the “hee-hee-hee-hee-how” and think that as far as creativity goes, male or female she is up there. Keep in mind aside from MC Lyte, female MC’s are lacking IMHO but still. The performances were OKAY as Tweet (who I thought fell off the face of the Earth) and Timbaland performed “The Rain” while Eve, Keisha Cole, Ciara and Nelly Furtado performed a sexy, sexy melody of Missy’s other hits including one that gets looked over in the “Hot Boyz Remix”. One of Eve’s best verses. Overall, the tribute was good and the nomination was well deserved, albeit maybe about two years too early. Either way, it was good stuff. Oh, and they had FATMAN SCOOP! BEND OVER! CHECK THE MAIL! GET LOOSE! PAY YOUR TAXES! COMTROL THE ANIMAL POPULATION! WHAT WHAT!

7 B-Boy Stances Out of 10 (Real simple stuff, which made it good. Replace Tweet with someone….anyone else and this gets an 8)

Honoree #2: Teddy Riley and New jack Swing

FUCK YES! IT IS ABOUT FUCKING TIME HE GOT HIS DUE! I will be the first to say I was all about Guy, Blackstreet and (despite what I would say to Jen at The Q) Keith Sweat in the 80’s and 90’s. All of them had production and work done by Teddy Riley and Andre Harrell. If you liked “No Diggity” or “Rump Shaker” that was New Jack Swing. Hell, all hip hop from 1998-2001 was just ripped off of New Jack Swing any-damn-way! Ja Rule, Next, Dru Hill, Nelly and the rest of ya’ll need to give this man 25% of your fucking money. Now I was glad about the nomination but….T-PAIN PERFORMING KEITH SWEAT?! Now I have said some mean things about Keif but…T-FUCKING-PAIN?! The man RUINED that song since he didn’t have the Audiovox or whatever that thing he stole from Roger Troutman is called. I was pissed (also with his half assed dancing) by that, but having Ne-Yo perform “Remember The Time” was just….wow that was mindumbing. After that I was fed up so I stopped caring.

9 B-Boy Stances Out of 10 (For the NOMINATION. The performance gets 4 out of 10 because at least they tried. New Jack Swing changed the face of R&B in the last 80’s to early 90’s and this is well deserved. If you think not, they take your chain and rims and stick them up your ass. Fuck you, you don’t know music)

Honoree #3: Wild Style

Okay, I will admit something. I havent seen this movie for almost TWENTY FUCKING YEARS. I apologize, my hip-hop cred is deminished. However, I have been listening to the soundtrack for the better part of 15 years so when they had the performance ofDoug E. Fresh, Busy Bee, Grandmaster Caz, KRS-One and Grand Wizard Theo I nearly lost my shit. It is comfortably in a septic tank somewhere. This movie (Along with Krush Groove, Beat Street and yes, Breakin) helped mold breakdancing into pop culture and this is a nod well deserved since mainstream media wont recognize it’s impact. My god, breakdancing rules your face. I swear, they dancing was bad ass and the freestyles (at least I think they were top of head. If so, it was TIGHT BANGIN!) made this the best performance since Big Daddy Kane and The Roots. Let us not forget the backfilp. But overall, this is the best performance of the night so far.

10 B-Boy Stances Out of 10 (I love old school hip hop so this was almost tear-worthy. The historical cinematic and musical relevance of this movie goes up there with the greats. Not only that, the performance itself was GREAT! I mean seriously, the best performance on an award show in YEARS, no lie. Overall, a relevant nod and a great tribute)

Honoree #4: Whodini

Good god, can this get any better?! If there was any core of songs that got people either dancing or nodding, it would have to be Whodini. I mean of rap groups in terms of influence, you have to put them up there with the NWA’s and the Run-DMC’s of him-hop if fir nothing else then the taking of their lines and style. One thing that got me about Whodini was the production. The beats were never busy (Ahem….The Neptunes), repetitive (Ahem….Timbaland) or just plain too simple (AHHEEEEMMM! Lil Jon). They were just right, just like Whodini. If you don’t like Whodini, you rape collies. There, I said it. You hate Whodini, you love to sex up Lassie. Man, beastiality comes up on the blog WAY TOO OFTEN. Anyway…the performance was where I got a tad bit pissed. And by a tad bit I mean borderline livid. NICK CANNON AND NELLY?! Could they have picked a better combo to make me want to shoot up the building?! Who in the hell let Nick Cannon’s non-rapping ass in the building anyway?! Gaaaaawd. As for Nelly…he didn’t do BAD, which was shocking. As for Jermaine Dupri performing “5 Minutes of Funk” (My favorite song by Whodini, BTW)….it was bad ass. I never really had anything against JD. Overall, the nomination was about TWO YEARS OVERFUCKING DUE (I’m saying it now, Whodini should have been in before the Wu-Tang Clan) but it was well worth it. Despite Nick Cannon.

9 B-Boy Stances out of 10 (FUCK NICK CANNON. Aside from that, it was AWESOME. Worth the nod, albeit late and the performances were great. Even Nelly. Oh, and the old school dance part at the end….I almost cried. Do the wop for me one time!!!)

Honoree #5: Snoop Dogg

*Sigh* I am totally conflicted about this. Little known fact: I was all about Death Row in front of my friends but at home…I was listening to the Ranma ½ soundtracks and A Tribe Called Quest (more on them later). So I have nothing against Snoop aside from Soul Plane. And Bones. And The Wash. Wait….man, FUCK SNOOP! I’m kidding, they nominated Dre, they had to do Snoop. He changed the flow style (you could say Rakim was KIND OF close in style but not really) of rap and was overall just a stylistic force. Except for The Doggfather. Does anyone even OWN THAT ALBUM? Anyway, the performance was interesting. T.I. and B.G. opened it up with Deep Cover which was interesting as I figured either Game or Fat Joe (who “remade” it with Big Pun) would be better choices but the more T.I. the better. Pharrell did an AWESOME rendition of Nuthin But A G Thang if I say so myself. He had that leaned back flow DOWN. Could have dressed the part like T.I. did (He wore a fucking backpack. Come on, thugs don’t go to school!) but it was the second best of the night. They ended with Snoop and Bow Wow and I must say, I forgot Bow Wow was discovered by Snoop. Must have been awkward for Snoop to see his protégé broken up over some woman (Ciara, who was also there. Ooooohhhh, young drama!). Better call Bishop Don Juan! Closed legs don’t get fed, bitches! I kid, I kid. Overall, good stuff.

8 B-Boy Stances out of 10 (The whole thing kept an energy level that was laid back, much like Snoop himself. The nomination was about a year early but it is legit. The performances were by the numbers because Snoop really didn’t deviate from what works for the most part so it was what you would expect. Great, not awesome)

Honoree #6: A Tribe Called Quest (SAY THE WHOLE THING!)

Yes. YES. YES! OH MY GOD YES! Dare I say, it’s about time! I love me some Tribe (Although De La Soul should have been inducted at the same time, but still I aint gonna complain) and I will tell you this right now: “Midnight Maruders” stands up against any album released since Outkast’s Stankonia. Bring it, bitches. They were a great alternative to the West Coast rap scene and even to the New York rap which was mainly Onyx (Oy vey, never thought I would use THAT name) and a few others in the early and mid-90’s. I would put “Award Tour” and “Electric Relaxation” against any other rap song in terms of greatness. Hell, any song PERIOD. The performances were GREAT . From Pharrell (who fit in A LOT better in this performance), Common and Lupe Fiasco’s lyric forgetting ass:

Now I am not an uber-fan but I would have taken the time out to learn the lyrics! Yeeesh, no big deal. Also, it was great to see Busta Rhymes show up and yell his verse at the top of his lungs. Seriously, good stuff. Overall, this was overshadowed by the Whodini and Wild Style performances but A Tribe Called Quest’s influence on hip hop is undeniable for the most part. Well worthy of a nod this year.

9.5 B-Boy Stances out of 10 (Like I have to explain. IT’S THE TRIBE, YA’LL! Lupe’s minor blunder aside, it was a great tribute and a worthy entry. Besides, you cant beat having Common on TV)

Overall, I enjoyed this years show a little more than last years. Some of the performers were spotty (NICK CANNON) but aside from the initial shock of Missy Elliott and Snoop Dogg getting inducted so early, it was a great and relevant recognition of hip-hop achievement. What about Yo-Yo?!:

Hells yeah. Overall, if you catch the replay, check it out. Be forewarned: Nick Cannon will be on your TV screen. Make proper accomodations to turn the channel. Overall, I give the show

8.5 B-Boy Stances out of 10!

Well, that is all for now. I will try to be back tomorrow but until then, learn to play some ping pong:

You are totally ready for the next big rave! If you excuse me, it is time to wash the laundry. If you watched the movie, you’ll understand.

Chachi Out!

If Liking Hellogoodbye Makes Me Gay....Sign Me Up, Sailor!

So for the last month (since before NDK) I have had the closing from Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya stuck in my head. I am also gay as hell because I think that Hellogoodbye kicks ass. So by combining them, I have officially become the happiest person since R.Kelly got famous enough to perform at middle school dances without a second thought:

Go to hell, that kicked ass. If anyone else is lacking of pride, self-respect and common sense, I am TOTALLY busting out the para para dance routine at the end at Nan Desu Kan 2008. Anyone with me?

*sigh*

Didnt think so. You are all dicks. New blog tomorrow.

Oh, one last thing. Timbaland WISHES he could make beats this hardcore:

That's Kreva, fishes. Hells yeah. Thanks to Roxanne for the instrumental! It's freestyling time!

Salute Your Shorts

What is up, fishes?! It has been a while since I have just done a regular post (almost two weeks!) and I figure now is just as good as any. It is in the 40’s outside and I am SO READY FOR SOME FUCKING FOOTBALL! I love the fall. The ladies wear clothes (the smart ones, anyway), the Jews fly south and and Blacks hibernate for the winter. At least that’s what the bible taught me.

So it is time for a couple of housekeeping announcements. Consuela will be with you shortly, but until then, here is an update on the greatest even to hit the internet since the Great Porn/Chili Cookoff of 1998!

THE CHACHI’S!

Now last year, it was all one award show for TV, Movies and Music. This year, I will actually break it into three separate shows! The Passion of Chachi Music Awards nominees will be announced on October Monday, 29th and will air on the blog on Sunday, November 4th! Your votes will be encouraged during that time frame and your votes for the nominees are appreciated as well! Secondly, the Passion of Chachi TV Awards nominees will be announced on Monday, November 19th and will air on Sunday, November 26th! This gives time for the new season to impress me (Which aside from “Chuck” and “Prison Break” it really hasn’t) and have more relevant nominees. Odds are, Death Note will fucking sweep. Just a thought. Lastly, the Passion of Chachi Movie Awards nominees will be announced on Monday, December 10th and will air on this very blog on Sunday, December 16th! Oh, and 300 WILL BE NOMINATED! Just too hot for words. Once again, your input is encouraged!

Now as most of you know, I reside in Colorado Springs which has four (five if you count Schreiver AFB) military installations in a 9 foot fucking radius. Combine that with the Cadets at the Air Force Academy and you pretty much have to live “Full Metal Jacket” and “Iron Eagle” everyday, minus the coolness of Louis Gossett Jr. He has an Oscar, you know? Anyway, I have noticed something that is a disturbing trend in the military over the last six or so years. Is it just me….or is our military getting stupider?

Now before you throw a bitch fit and call me un-American, fuck you. My blog, my opinion. Over the last few months, I have met a few people that are one brain cell failure of being a total mouth breather. Much to my surprise, these people were in the AIR FORCE. I thought to myself “either the Air Force is desparate or they really don’t want coloreds in there.” I believe it is an amalgam of the two. However, if I had to choose (which for the time being I do) I guess I would go Air Force, too. If I were to rank the Branches of Military to go to right now, I guess this would be the order.

1. Air Force: Why the Air Force? Because all they do is launch missles and stay as far away from the enemy as possible. Sure they fly a few planes but I can do that shit. I OWN the Ace Combat series. Also the laziest branch as they seem to use computers for EVERYTHING, including wiping their own ass. However, the Air Force is pretty damn ballin. I mean, they have their own shoe:

I mean, you can’t go wrong with Nelly as your spokesman for your branch of service. And letus not forget about Harrison Ford in AIR FORCE One. Harrison Ford trumps out Richard Gere and Tom Cruise. Add in Louis Gossett Jr. and the Air Force is the place to be. Like a Diddy White Party.
2. Navy: Now the Navy should be number one (At the lowest 1A) being as they attack from the sea and Arabs and Krauts can’t swim. That and they have their own kickass DDR song:

What does the Air Force have? That song from “Greatest American Hero?” Cool, but not DDR cool. However, Top Gun” kind of kills the momentum that song (And “An Officer And A Gentleman”) creates. I’m sorry, that movie is GAY and if you like that movie you are “TEH GAY” because that movie is the gayest gay that ever gayed a gay in Gaytown, Gayvania. Take it from a guy that digs showtunes, I KNOW gay. And Navy, you gay boy!
3. GI Joe: Yes, the body massage machines (Fensler Film, fools! WHAT?!) are third. Albeit fictional, they had a ninja, a Black, an eskimo (I think. He wore the uniform of an eskimo), an asian, like three women (They can do stuff now!) a dog and a parrot. A fucking parrot! How many parrots do you see in the Navy? ! NONE! Which is lame, because if the Navy just knuckled up became pirates I would join right now. Singing and dancing while pilliageing and looting? I was BORN FOR THAT. However, GI Joe ranks #3 because….did they ever hit ANYONE? I mean these fuckers were the biggest waste of government funding ever. Their ammo bill was astronomical.
4. Army: Yeah, I went there. Have you seen the new crop of our “Army of One?” They look like bros that only experience with guns is playing Halo 2 on multi-player. I’m not hating, I am just telling the truth. The army has a few good things going for it like…exotic locals the first five months you are enlisted. I mean, if you like sand and lots of it. Hell, the best recruitment video they have is actually a NAVY recruitment video:

Well, I guess the Army does most of the prisoner beating and that’s always cool. Oh, Liquid and Solid Snake were both Green Berets! That’s pretty bad ass! But….M*A*S*H sucked. But Hogan’s Heroes ruled! See, it’s quite the dilemma. However, if you have your choice go with one of the other three. If not, be sure to get locked in a Nazi camp. Laughs and adventure await you at Stalag 13!
5. Marines: First off, I don’t mean the Space Marines like in the Halo Series. If that really existed…I would join in an instant and be Master Chief’s BITCH because he may be the baddest mofo on the planet not named Samuel L. Jackson. However, the real Marines get put in fucked up situations. Usually with only a McGyver kit sans the cool 80’s soundtrack. It takes a certain kind of person to be a Marine. Usually a few knives short of a cutlery set if you get my drift.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t dislike the Armed Forces. I grew up a fricking Military Brat so you know how I roll. But the next generation of troops look like Bro Fest ’07. Don’t ask don’t tell works, but not if your troops are drinking scotch in the foxholes and blaring Jack Johnson on the way through Baghdad. At least hip hop can be threatening. No insurgent is going to be afraid of “The Space Between”. Which is where the Bro Troops will invade. I’m sorry, I tried to fight it but I couldn’t. I’m sorry. Needless to say, the Air Force (and Navy as long as you don’t call yourself “Goose” or “Maverick”) is the way to go. Too bad it has become like a Colorado Springs club and they let just anyone in for the most part. PULL UP YOUR GOD DAMN PANTS, BLACK PEOPLE! Oh, and white dudes…IRON YOUR FUCKING SHIRT! Women…you know how I feel.

I will try to have a post up the middle of this week (odds are Wednesday, maybe Tuesday if I get my head straight) as I know I have been neglecting the peeps. Especially the Blogger peeps, because you guys have been down with the Chachi since day one in 2006. Until next time, I will be chasing sunsets. Because one of lifes simple joys…

…is playing with the boys.

Chachi out, sailor!

I Never Thought I Would Say This, But....GO ROCKIES!!

It’s the first (well, second) Friday of fall and it is a brisk October day! The leaves are changing, but one thing never changes. That is the….

Chachi Top 20 Video Countdown!

We begin this week with a long awaited debut…

20. NaNa – Movin’ On

Okay, I am finally going to admit it. This is my new favorite song. Yeah, I even got the stare from some people in Denver yesterday like “Hey that’s pretty cool….what the fuck language is that?!” which I have gotten used to, actually. I don’t care, this song is awesome! And the video has even more funky fresh dance moves than any other video on the Countdown! The outfits are…special but hey, nothing wrong with being a trendsetter. Just like David Bowie.
19. Tenjo Chiki (TSZX) – Pirhrana (Last Week #16)
Boooo. I needs me some more TSZX stat. Anyone know what is up with the name? I mean are they like DSBK or whatever those dudes are with like seven names and none of them make sense? Eh, either way. Tenjo Chiki are HAWT and I needs me some more.
18. Paramore – Misery Business (Last Week #20)
So Paramore moves up two spots this week. You know, rock has been on a steady decline recently but things are looking up. They better with hip hop making a comeback and J-Pop bring out the big guns this fall. With only two somewhat rockish songs (Daughtry’s “It’s Not Over” in Feburary and L’Arc~en~Ciel’s “SEVENTH HEAVEN” ) to hit #1 ever, rock needs to make an impact in 2008.
17. Chamillionare – Hip Hop Police (Last Week #14)
So after a breif stint in the Top 10, Cham falls three more spots this week and looks to be falling out of the Countdown. He is working on a video for “Industry Groupie” which should be hilarious and ironi c, moreso than Game’s “Wouldn’t Get Far”. Good stuff.
16. Kanye West feat. Daft Punk – Stronger (Last Week #10, One week at #1)

Kanye is still beating 50 Cent! Sue me, I really don’t like Fiddy’s music and it show at least the Ruben Studdard Theory works. You know, eliminating an electoral college, a real winner can be chosen. It’s in The Boondocks…read it.
15. Yui - Jam (Last Week #17)
Live performances aplenty! Yui is all over the place over the last two weeks, giving me even more reason to love her so. My god, I have said it once and I will say it again. A woman that plays acoustic guitar is fucking HAWT. Meanwhile, a dude that plays acoustic guitar is FUCKING GAY. Double standard I will admit.
14. UGK feat. Outkast – International Players Anthem (Last Week #12, Seven weeks at #1)
Well, arguably the biggest video of 2007 falls another two spots this week and with no new video in sight, UGK’s bid for the Artist of the Year Chachi is in doubt. One huge video a year does not make. With artist like Yui and John Legend having multiple number one videos. They seem to be the front runners right now. But, we will see. An announcement about the Chachi’s soon!
13. L`Arc~en~Ciel – My Heart Dreams A Dream (Last Week #15)
Mo’ Hyde, no’ problem. The boys move up two more spots with this wild safari video and look to make it to the Top 10 once again in 2007. I totally hope this signals a new album soon, unlike Namie Amuro. The gap between “Cant’ Eat, Can’t Sleep, I’m Sick” and the release of “Play” was fucking asinine. Hell, I think it was a damn year. If I have to wait for Hyde that long, HEADS WILL ROLL! Believe it! Now….for a record breaking event.
12. Alicia Keys – No One (New Entry) [Highest Debut Ever]

Not since Home Made Kazoku has an artist had a video debut this high on the Countdown! However, if anyone is worthy, it is the fine ass Alicia Keys. It has been a while since she has had a video and now that she does…I am tres happy. I am all about this song and this video is simple but she is damn fine so it doesn’t matter. Let’s see what she can do her first time out!
11. Abingdon Boys School – Nephilim (Last Week #8)
One step from the Top 10 and we have the front-runner for the Best New Artist! ABS has been dominant, although TM has been kicking ass for years. This video falls from the Top 10, but with an album reportedly coming soon, I will soon have my fix. We have made it to the top half!
10. Kanye West feat. T-Pain - GoodLife (Last Week #13)
We begin the Top 10 with a familiar face! This is Kanye’s 4th Top 10 video this year and he also is a front-runner for an Artist of the Year nod! I really….really don’t think T-Pain can sing but it is more about the video and the lyricism of Kanye in this one. That and that woman is damn fine. Except for the massive mammaries, I am NOT A FAN. I likes the bootay!
9. UVERworld - Shaka Beach~Laka Laka La~ (Last Week #6)
Okay, I am going to say it right here and right now. UVERworld…is slipping. WAIT! Don’t get me wrong, they still rock the box. Just nowhere near as hard. I mean compare “Timeless” to “BUGRIGHT” and there is no contest. I hope their third album picks up the pace!
8. Common feat Lily Allen – Driving Me Wild (Last Week #11)

Common has his second Top 10 video of 2007 and all I can say is it is well deserved. Common has been holding hip hop up for years and he is only now (since “Be”) getting his due. While “Finding Forever” isnt his best work, it is a great album in its own right. This song is actually one of the better hip hop videos out and I rarely see it, which is to be expected. I bet you somewhere they are playing 50 Cent’s “I Get Money” though. Fuck.
7. Yui – Love & Truth (Last Week #9)
More Yui! I know I say that a lot, but the only bad thing that came from too much Yui is not being able to look at anything else. I like this video a little more than “Jam” (although I like the song more than this one) which is why it is higher this week. Like it matters, she could be fine as hell covering “Morning Train” by Sheena Easton. Oh my god…I just filled the cup.
6. Soulja Boy – Crank That [Soulja Boy] (Last Week #7)
Some one tell Soulja Boy he is almost in the Top Five! His album came out this week and I MAY buy it. Not going to lie, for some reason I am totally digging his stuff. Now go ahead and crank that while we move into the Top Five!
5. John Legend – Stereo (Last Week #3)
John Legend falls two more spots this week as his latest video tumbles this week. This is the first video from John that didn’t take top spot, so this is major! Even still, it has been a great year for Mr. Legend.
4. Sowelu, EXILE & DOBERMAN INC – 24 Karat (Last Week #5)

Yum-tastic! Sowelu leads EXILE and DOBERMAN INC one step closer to the top spot! After a pretty good year for EXILE and a slow one for Sowelu, I think that 2008 will give us big things from both of them. Oh, and this video is hot. Sowelu and mancake? You cant beat that with a baseball bat. FAST AND FURIOUUUUUS! I had to, I’m sorry.
3. Nelly Furtado – Do It (Last Week #4)

We beging the top three with a familiar face….that hasn’t been here in a while. Nelyy Furtado has her 4th straight Top 3 video and hopes to get her second number one. I will say that this is probably my third favorite song on the album, behind “Say It Right” and “What I Wanted” because…well I was a punk ass bitch in 2006. That’s how I came up with the name “Passion of Chachi”. Because I went through more than Jesus. And I didn’t get a “Me-complex” at all.
2. Aqua Timez - Alones (Last Week #1, Four weeks at #1)
The champ has fallen! After a full month at the top, Aqua Timez falls to the runner up spot with this video! It has been a great run for Aqua Timez after taking the top spot from Kanye Wst a month ago. Not only that, Bleach is getting ready to ROCK YOUR FUCKING FACE! Trust me, it will. With “Alones” at number two, that means we have a NEW NUMBER ONE VIDEO!
1. Mihimaru GT – Gazen Yeah! (Last Week #2, One week at #1)

Say hello to the new Queen of the Countdown! Sexy ass Hiroko and her compatriot Miyake pull their first number one video ever! Anyone that knows me knows that I love this video and it was bound to get here at some point. If you don’t like this song then…well there is nothing I can do for you because this video and song is bad ass! Congrats!

Well, that is all for this week! Tune in next Friday to see if Mihimaru GT can spend a second week on top! Or will Aqua Timez take back the top spot UGK style? Look out for Nelly Furtado! The action is mindblowing and to not be here on Friday is verboten! See you next Friday!

Chachi Out.

Can I Get A Whoo-Hah Friday?! Eh, F**k It.

It’s Friday, people! Big day today (and a LONG day) so we got to get today started right! So here is this weeks installment of…

Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!

We begin with a punkish rock debut!

20. Paramore – Misery Business (New Entry)

Well, this is a song I have been listening to for a while and just saw the video on MTV Hits (WHAT?! MTV PLAYS VIDEOS! POPPYCOCK!) and it was pretty bad ass. While nowhere near Maximum The Hormone or Mastedon levels of thrash, this song holds it own. Nice to see some new blood in the Top 20, too.
19. AI – Brand New Day (Last Week # 17)
From new blood to a veteran of the Countdown. AI has a #1 video to her credit in 2006 but this video fell short of the Top Five about a month ago. Since then, it has been in a steady decline. Let’s hope for some new stuff soon! I miss the Japanese Missy Elliott!
18. Hearts Grow - Mimawari (Last Week #15)
Another video that looks to be on its way out. Hearts Grow came close to taking the top spot, falling short against the juggernaught that was UGK and Outkast. Even still, it has been a great run and actually made me watch an episode of Powerpuff Girls Z. Oh….it sucked.
17. Yui - Jam (Last Week #19)
I just got the live performance of this song and all I can say is…Yui is hawt. I mean seriously. Something about a woman in a hoodie screams street saavy and sexy at the same time. Hells yeah.
16. Tenjo Chiki (TSZX) – Pirhrana (Last Week #14)

The sexy ladies of TSZX fall two more places this week. Is there a chance I can find a live performance of this song somewhere? That would totally make my 2007. Oh, and where is the album from you all?! I needs me some sexy K-Pop action since BoA wont give me what I want.
15. L`Arc~en~Ciel – My Heart Dreams A Dream (Last Week #18)
Can Hyde and Co. make it two for two? They make the attempt to as their latest video moves up three big spots! I am excited as hell. New L’Arc~en~Ciel, new Aqua Timez and (hopefully) new LM.C coming soon! The rockingest year since Scorpions told us here they are, and they subsequently rocked us like a hurricane.
14. Chamillionare – Hip Hop Police (Last Week #11)
Chamillionare continues his move down as he falls three more spots this week. His curse and n-word free album didn’t do BAD in its first week, but nowhere near Kanye West or Kumi Koda numbers It’s a shame, it is actually pretty good.
13. Kanye West feat. T-Pain - GoodLife (Last Week #16)

Speaking of Kanye, he moves up three more spots this week with his latest video. Too bad he is carrying the Predalope along with him. You know, T-Pain has invaded the new Chris Brown video which I think is BAD ASS but…it has the Pain in it. So odds are we will never see it on here.
12. UGK feat. Outkast – International Players Anthem (Last Week #10, Seven weeks at #1)
After a long reign in the upper regions of the Countdown, UGK and Outkast fall from the Top Ten for the first time since…April? May? It has been so long I have forgotten. Now THAT’S big pimpin. Also, where in the hell is the follow up single?! This video may be the biggest hip hop video of 2007 and they don’t have a second one? LAME!
11. Common feat Lily Allen – Driving Me Wild (Last Week #13)
Common is on the verge of having his second Top ten video of 2007 with this one. I like this video and song even more than I liked “The People”. It is also cool to see Common finally get some mainstream respect with his last two albums debuting at #1. Big ups to J-Dilla. Now, we have made the Top Ten!
10. Kanye West feat. Daft Punk – Stronger (Last Week #8, One week at #1)
Kanye falls two spots this week after a short stint at #1 with this video. He finishes ahead of 50 Cent ONCE AGAIN this week on the charts, albeit at number two instead of number one. Say what you will about his dumb ass actions, the music is scandal proof! Unlike R. Kelly.
9. Yui – Love & Truth (Last Week #12)

MORE YUI! Yui has her FOURTH TOP TEN VIDEO OF 2007! With another video moving up, Yui may just be the Artist of the Year. A badass album, two great new singles since then and five videos in a calander year. John Legend and UGK better watch their back.
8. Abingdon Boys School – Nephilim (Last Week #4)
Okay, I am beginning to get pissed off. Where in the hell is my Abingdon Boys School album?! Three badass videos and no album to show for it?! Shenanighans! Just for that, their latest video falls four spots this week. Don’t mess with me. Omarion learned, Bi learned and now you will.
7. Soulja Boy – Crank That [Soulja Boy] (Last Week #9)
Soulja Boy tell ‘em! This video makes a two spot leap this week as he attempts to be the youngest person to have a video in the Top Five. Well, some members of Hearts Grow are under 16 but not all. Oh, and Hinoi Team only made it to number six last year before bowing out. Crank that Robocop, peeps!
6. UVERworld - Shaka Beach~Laka Laka La~ (Last Week #3)
UVERworld falls short of the top spot it seems. The guys fall three spots this week with their newest video. I just don’t get the same feeling off of this song and video like I got from Chance or SHAMROCK. Still good stuff, but I like the old work better.
5. Sowelu, EXILE & DOBERMAN INC – 24 Karat (Last Week #6)
W00T! Sowelu and EXILE in the Top Five! The hawtness of the ‘Lu and the badassed….ness of EXILE has combined to create a monster video! They move up one spot this week as they look to tangle with the veterans. Can they hold their own? We will see!
4. Nelly Furtado – Do It (Last Week #5)
Nelly Furtado moves up one spot this week and closer to her second number one video! With her album being over a year old, it is weird that there has been no word of a new single or new work. Seeing as how there are at least two more quality singles off this album, I don’t think she will be back in the studio for a while. Booo…
3. John Legend – Stereo (Last Week #2)

UPSET SPECIAL! John Legend failed to unseat Aqua Timez from the top spot! After knocking off UVERworld, Nelly Furtado and Daughtry to get his first three #1 videos, this is kind of a shocker. Even still, he is The Legend. So who is Number One?
2. Mihimaru GT – Gazen Yeah! (Last Week #7, Biggest Mover)

Aw, snap! Mihimaru GT is looking to run this thing on their first time out! They move up and huge five spots to the runner up position. This is officially my second favorite song right now (Behind NaNa’s “Movin On” which is J-pop goodness) and the video is great. The live performance is where the song (and the band) shines as between this and Punkish they are my favorite live performers not named Yui. Well, it looks like the number one video remains the same…
1. Aqua Timez - Alones (Last Week #1, Four weeks at #1)

The champ is STILL HERE! After a month, Aqua Times still holds the throne! This ties them with nobodyknows+ and John Legend for the second longest reigns of 2007. Pretty good stuff, and they have a new single coming soon which means MORE AQUA TIMEZ! Add in the fact that they are FINALLY going to the fireworks factory in Bleach and this will be the best fall ever!

Well, that is all for this week! Tune in next Friday to see if Aqua Timez can make it five weeks at the top! Or will Mihimaru be the second duo to take the throne? Or can John Legend turn it around and get his fourth number one video? Tune in next Friday to find out!

And be sure to see “Feel The Noise” at your local movie house next Friday! Until then, take it easy.

Chachi Out!

God....PETA Really Sucks It Dry.

First off, TWO UPDATES IN ONE DAY!! W00T!!! We are bored, Err. Big day tomorrow and Friday! Hopefully things go well and the ballin can commence!

So Carl's Jr and Hardees (The classiest of fast food establishments) have decided to use pork and eggs from animals not cruely confined. Um...call me Ishmail but does it really fucking matter what KIND OF CAGES ANIMALS ARE KEPT IN WHEN THEY ARE GOING IN PEOPLES BELLIES ANY-FUCKING-WAY?! I mean...come the hell on! I love animals (In the healthy way. Except for collies because they are HAWT) and think cruelty isnt cool unless you are Michael Vick. Then it is awesome. The fact is these animals arent being taken to see "Homeward Bound" they are GOING TO BE EATEN.

I can see these rules for pet stores and sex shops, but not for a place where the animals are being set up for consumption. It just seems....expensive. It doesnt make my breakfast sandwich taste ANY BETTER if the chicken was kept in a pen with wire doors. Especially when I am having that chickens embryo fried up on a Sourdough Club Breakfast Sandwich. Now that is good eatin! PETA needs to shut the fuck up. I am for the ethical treatment of animals, just not for my breakfast. Beaten animals make for tender meat! Its science!

I am KIDDING.

Geez, grow a set and get some surgery on that funny bone of yours. Oh, and Michael Vick's new name is "Towelie" Sad. just sad. Besides, cats OWN dogs. Even from the cradle:

Cats rule, dogs drool. Doesnt make up for Vick being a fucktard, though.

On another note....COMCAST STILL FUCKING SUCKS. Internet just crashed. Fuck them in their stupid heads. I mean STILL fuck them in their stupid heads.

Because No One Demanded It....

So "Feel The Noise" finally has a trailer and....I really want to see this. Puerto Rico STAND UP:

It's like "You Got Served" meets "Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights" with the reggaeton flavor! Toss in some "Step Up" and "8 Mile" and you have the sexy, hip hop dance hit of the fall movie season! Oh, and I LOVES ME SOME of Kat DeLuna. F2T hawtness right there. I will see YOU at the theater!

One last thing, a post up on Saturday or Sunday (Not counting the Video Countdown. It has to be before my first day at work and after the busy next two days I have) but first I have an announcement. Even though Pirates vs. Ninjas: Attack on Zombie Island (and its sequel, Escape from Dragon Fjord) fell through despite the efforts of Zach and Ted (thanks for the work, btw) I have decided to record my first song since the Grammy winning “CON-PHUNK-TAY-SHUN” in 1997. So coming soon to a radio near you to celebrate my 10 year anniversary of the eight most important moment of my life...

Gimmie, Gimmie (Dat Cocoa Puff) featuring D-Rock! And T-Money Grizzle on the remix!

The Cocoa Puff will be the dance craze of 2008. It will make the Soulja Boy and the Spongebob look like the damn Tootsie Roll. And we all know, nuh-uh thats old. I will have it up soon once I have the staples...like lyrics. Got the hook set, though. Seeing as how Soulja Boy stole "Tha Spyderman" from David, I need to get on this soon before someone steals my idea. By the way, FUCK YOU SOULJA BOY! Dance stealing asshole. That is all for now. I have to drive to Pueblo for some god awful reason tomorrow and Denver AFTER THAT but thems the breaks if you want to be ballin. Besides, I have to bankroll my album somehow. Anyway, check out Code Monkeys:

Monkeys humping heads? Priceless. It’s the only good show on G4, minus the Olivia Munn show. Not sure what it is called, but I love her. Until Friday, peace out

Chachi Out.

YOU DONT HAVE TIME TO MAKE A PROFILE! PRESS "A"!

Okay, alright. I’m sure if you are a gamer or not, you have seen Master Chief grace your TV screen, cell phone and dreams as Microsoft attempts to mentally rape us into wanting Halo 3:

First off, let me state this before all you bros and Halo nerds lose your shit. I own all three Halo games. I played through Halo and played Halo 2 abouyt 4 hours in before I got fucking bored with it. The first game was good but the second, no matter how pretty and explosion filled (Shit, sounds like a good porn. ZING!) the game was above average, not the greatest game of all time like everyone hailed it. Three words: God of War. Or Resident Evil 4. Fuck you, that game plays CIRCLES around Halo 2. Anyway, I just played Halo 3 at David’s house (And his limited edition version wasn’t scratched. Lucky him) and all I can say in the about three hours I had hands on with the game….

ITS OKAY.

I hated the barrage of clips and commercials for Halo 3 because I knew it was going to be more of the fucking same. Bungie is like EA Games with Madden. Repackage, add some moreplayers and modes and presto brand new game. At least Madden still has Michael Vick, who is scary than Master Chief…to dogs at least. What, too soon? Anyway, with all the hype and press about this game (Including G4 covering the launch like there were only seven available but there are more Halo 3 games than assault weapons in Cambodia) I know everyone is going to look at it and go “THAT DEM DARE CHUPACABRA DONE WENT AND GONE BOOM!” so my words are on deaf ears. But I for one am sick of hype for three games a year (Usually Halo, a Final Fantasy game and Madden) and all three are disappointing, save for the occasional Final Fantasy. Now I am not saying Halo 3 is BAD, I am saying I am sick of the hype. From the Mountain Dew to the refinancing of home loans, Halo 3 was EVERYWHERE and for no real good reason. It is on another planet, you are trying to tell me people drink Halo on fucking Venus? Bullshit. Tie ins are good if they are relevant, but in this case it actually made me not want to get my pre-order.

Overall, Halo 3 is a 7 out of 10. I know it will get perfect score everywhere because Microsoft owns everyones soul but it would be unwarranted. God of War II, Metroid (Wii) and BioShock are better games and a lot less hyped/annoying. Expect to see Halo 3 everywhere until Christmas, expect to see about 4 Oscar nods and at least 300 kids named Master Chief. God…I’m gonna go play Resident Evil 4. Zombies are coming up the hill right now!

Chachi Out.

It's a Wonderlic Life...Again.

So I took a full Wonderlic test (for those that dont know, it is a supposed aptitude and intelligence test) for two different interviews this week. You know the one that they give NFL players and weight by giving them points for putting their name on it? Yeah, that one. After taking these tests, I realized something:

I AM TOTALLY UNDERUSED

I mean if this test means jack shit (Which I don’t fully believe it does. I put very little stock in it but seeing as how I have taken it no less than seven times companies must) but once again, I did pretty good. I ranted about this about a year and a half ago before I started working at Qwest. I was pissed because I was told I was OVER-FUCKING-QUALIFIED because I got a 42 on the Wonderlic test (The max is a 50 so judge for yourself) and aced the other portions. That and they told me the pay and once again I slipped up and said “What am I, homeless?” and I REALLY need to not do that. I got a 40 yesterday and a 37 today (It was 9am. Sue me) and the recruiter looked at me like I was some sort of freak. Is being unable to take a test the norm?

My main issue is the fact that this test shows nothing. The questions relate to jackshit about anything any job I have ever done actually requires. Also add in the fact that I usually skip and/or guess all the questions that have to do with math and you see this test is utterly and completely worthless. I mean seriously; I ace all of the non-math questions and skip or BS the math questions and I get higher than the average score for a fucking CHEMIST?! Even worse is that adding this up with my IQ (which ranged from 127-137 when I took the tests from High School to college) my total Intelligence Quotient, or IQ totals up to a score of 146, which is supposedly “Highly Gifted” (BULLSHIT! I can barely tie my shoes!). Now that mean that I am pretty much able to read directions and not shoot myself in the face but still. There are people that do that all the time and make more than I do or ever have. To that I say bullshit.

If people were given jobs and paid based on their IQ, the workforce would be screwed up. I mean look at the fact that I have friends with degrees working at Best Buy and Comcast and are making the same as people that are marginal in intelligence and are only qualified for wiping their own ass (which they still do marginally). Last I checked, Communism is bad. So why pay all people the same when their qualifications are not? Peyton Manning makes more than Vince Young (I believe) because he is GOOD. Paying all players the same defeats the want to achieve because you know that no matter how hard you work and no matter how smart you are you will still make the same amount as those that can’t find South Carolina on a map. I know South Carolina sucks but you get the idea.

I just had to get that out. Seeing as how standardized testing got me shit and all a college degree has gotten me is a nifity tassle to hang my NDK passes on, my anger is a tad bit high. But it is what it is. Time to kick it old school!

Anyone remember that one? Worst song ever! Peace out, ya’ll!

Chachi Out

Sushi, Ron Jeremy and Aqua Timez? Pretty Good Week!

What it be, people! I am back and it is Friday so you know what we gots for you! Resident Evil 3 tonight and The Gameplan (maybe) tomorrow) but before that, you know what time it is. It’s time for….

Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!

We start with a J-Pop legend on their way out…

20. L`Arc~en~Ciel – Seventh Heaven (Last Week #17, One week at #1)
After a stint at number one, one of the biggest bands in J-Rock history is on their way out. It has been a busy half year for Hyde and the boys with a bevy of live performances and TWO videos (more on that) for their fans viewing pleasure. Album soon? We can dream…
19. Yui - Jam (New Entry)

….OF MORE YUI! Okay, I have a confession: women in hoodies is hot to me. Its my weakness. You know what else is my weakness? Yui’s fine ass. All I can say if that as long as she puts out videos, my love for her will never die. More Yui!
18. L`Arc~en~Ciel – My Heart Dreams A Dream (New Entry)
More of The Arc?! This day just gets better and better! I actually like this video a tad bit more than “SEVENTH HEAVEN” because of Hyde and all of his manliness is in full effect. Can you say “animal magnetism?”
17. AI – Brand New Day (Last Week # 14)
Despite not reaching the top spot this time out, AI is still holding on to the Top 20 this week. I have said it once and I will say it again. I WANT ME AN AI ALBUM RIGHT NOW. I am through playing around, I needs my fix. Give me some Zeebra while you are at it.
16. Kanye West feat. T-Pain - GoodLife (Last Week #19)
THE GORILLA HAS BEEN SLAYED! Kanye totally CRUSHED 50 Cent in their battle for hip hop supremacy and all I can say is that I cant be any happier about it. I despise Fiddy and I am glad he got not only beaten by Kanye, but he damn near got beat by Kenny Chesney. Sweet justice. Oh, and ‘Ye has two videos on the Top 20 this week along with Yui and L`Arc~en~Ciel. Good Life and good stuff.
15. Hearts Grow - Mimawari (Last Week #10, Plunge of the Week)

Where is the damn Hearts Grow?! It has been almost four months and I have heard little to nothing on the new video front. This is not cool! I love this song and I needs me some more!
14. Tenjo Chiki (TSZX) – Pirhrana (Last Week #12)
Oh no, the momentum has stalled a bit for Tenjo Chiki. Must mean Hinoi Team is coming back :) Just kidding, still think they’s sexy but other videos kick more ass right now…
13. Common feat Lily Allen – Driving Me Wild (Last Week #16)

….Like this one. All I can say is that the more Common the better. Not only that, thanks to Nicole this Lily Allen person is growing on me. Not too shabby, as her voice is like Dido minus the Sarah McLaughlin vibe to it. Good stuff on both sides.
12. Yui – Love & Truth (Last Week #13)
In only a YEAR, Yui has tied UVERworld with the most videos on the Top 20 with five. With two going to #1 (Rolling Star and CHE.R.RY) and one at #2 for a month (My Generation) she is up there with UGK and John Legend in the battle for the Chachi for the Artist of the Year. Big stuff from Yui.
11. Chamillionare – Hip Hop Police (Last Week #9)
After a stint in the Top 10, Chamillionare falls outside this week. I just picked up “Ultimate Victory” and he stayed true, the cursing and “n-word” usage are at a minimum. And it actually sounds pretty damn good. No one will buy it because people are stupid but to each their own. Still, great video albeit it fell this week. Onto the Top 10!
10. UGK feat. Outkast – International Players Anthem (Last Week #7, Seven weeks at #1)
The kings of the underground are holding on to the Top 10 with all they have this week as they fall three spots. The biggest video of the year is still hanging in there even with nothing new from either artist on the horizon. They really arent capitalizing on this video because this song was one of the years best and the video was novel. Eh, thems the breaks.
9. Soulja Boy – Crank That [Soulja Boy] (Last Week #15, Biggest Mover)

Superman that ho! Soulja Boy makes a HUGE leap this week, cranking that Robocop up six spots this week and into the Top 10! I am actually anticipating this album because…I don’t know. But I am.
8. Kanye West feat. Daft Punk – Stronger (Last Week #5, One week at #1)
With another video on the way up, Kanye’s #1 video falls three more spots this week and out of the Top 5. Once again, I am happy he beat 50 Cent because hopefully he will get the idea that we are tired of his shitty work. Probably NOT, but it was worth it.
7. Mihimaru GT – Gazen Yeah! (Last Week #11)
Yay! This will be the new ringtone…once I get off my ass and do it. This video is fucking great and there better be a new album soon. I remember they had a Greatest Hits album a few months ago but this should signal some new and awesome work coming soon. I love the fall!
6. Sowelu, EXILE & DOBERMAN INC – 24 Karat (Last Week #8)

More yummy ladies? Man, this is a good ass week. Sowelu leads the pack upward, falling outside of the Top 5. This single is badass and the video is well…look at it. It’s fricking hot as hell and you know it. The more Sowelu, the less I kill. You can thank her later.
5. Nelly Furtado – Do It (Last Week #6)
Well isnt THIS familiar? Nelly Furtado has her fourth Top 5 video as she makes a bid for the top spot. Although it was almost NINE months ago since she was this high (January) it is better late than never. Oh, and she is hot. Thought I should mention that one more time. Just yummy.
4. Abingdon Boys School – Nephilim (Last Week #2)
After two weeks as runner up, TM could not lead them to the promised land for the second time in 2007. Even still, they came hella close but had to sit behind the juggernaught that is Aqua Timez. We are down to three so who pushed Abingdon Boys School out of the runner up spot?
3. UVERworld - Shaka Beach~Laka Laka La~ (Last Week #4)

UVERworld is going for history! Five videos, five in the Top 3 including three number one videos. It has been a slow year for The ‘World (Last seen with Zero No Kotae in Feburary) but they are coming on strong to end the year. But who kept them from #2? Well, it is a familiar foe…
2. John Legend – Stereo (Last Week #3)

John Legend is trying to get his FOURTH number one video as well and has played the Boston Celtics to UVERworld’s Detroit Pistons for the second time. This video isnt played much on TV (sans VH1 Soul which showed it…twice?) but that cant hold back its awesomeness. I love this song and you will love it too. But the love isnt enough to put it at number one…
1. Aqua Timez - Alones (Last Week #1, Three weeks at #1)

…Because to be at number one you have to RAWK! And Aqua Timez does it in spades. This video holds the top spot for the third straight week even with UVERworld, John Legend and Nelly Furtado nipping below. Now THAT is how you show your power, holding off all challengers to the throne. Bleach rules your face!

Well, that is all this week! Can Aqua Timez hold off the lions below and stay at #1 for a full month? Ir will John Legend or UVERworld set the record with their fourth #1 video? Don’t forget the rest, you never know what will happen! Tune in next Friday to see who has the most awesome video in the world!

Chachi Out!

Another Birthday, Another Day Closer To My Eventual Death In A Battle With A Ninja on a Fire Breathing Polar Bear...

Happy birthday to me, bitches! I am the old two-seven (27 for you fucktards, and there are a lot of you) and needless to say it is “teh suck”. I hate getting older. With that being said, it is time for…

CHACHI’S BIRTHDAY OMNIBUS!!!

Let’s get this party started right!

How was NDK this year?

Well, NDK this year had its moments. The big issue I had was that…I saw the same shit last year. There was nothing new in the vendor fair. Shit, everything was in the same fucking spots for Christ’s sake. I can only stand so much Inuyasha, Bleach and Naruto before even I have enough and flip out. Oh, and can yaoi please go away? Dude on dude manga has become mainstream (they sell that shit in Best Buy and Borders) so it is no longer taboo. Besides, gay is the new Black. And by “black” I mean negros.

The guests were the same as the last three years although they did bring back the Taiko drummers this year. Thankfully they left Piano Squall’s gay ass back in Gay Town because if there is one thing this years Con didn’t need, it was more gay. The karaoke wasn’t as fun as last year (although adding David to the mix added more funny quips. And the dialog between Nolan and myself about putting women in boxes went over well with some people) and they wouldn’t let us be a team this time. GO TEAM VENTURE! Eh, we liked it. The J-pop Dance party…had no fucking J-pop and NO FUCKING DANCING. I swear, anime fans piss me off. More on that later.

The second day was lackluster as the AMV contest was bleh. You cant really top “Dangeresque” and “Bring Me My Bride” but still:

OR DID I?! Priceless. This year, the only real good ones were “Code Monkey” and “Pirating Movies via One Piece”. The rest were rather boring (especially drama which needs to be an award given out before the fucking ceremony, Grammy style) although I do appreciate the work all the contestants put into the videos. After a long break, we went to the Costume/Cosplay Competition which was….average. Nothing mindblowing like last year (Mega Man, Voltron, the Bleach Cosplay sketch at the end was sidesplitting) but not really BAD. Just not memorable. Except for my quips of “Wait…Dumbledor is dead?!” and “So….most of this is terrible”. Oh, and big ups to the dude in front that laughed at my Malice Mizer reference about the girls that dressed up as Dir En Grey. I’m sorry, but they aren’t as good as everyone thinks IMHO.

Lastly, after a long break Zach, Joe (who is Mormon. W00T!) and I decided to have a few drinks. By a few, I mean a fucking lot. I mean I was ready to rave it out by the time I was finished. So to end the night was the rave (which is what the J-Pop Dance party ended up being because anime fans have no fucking rhythm) and it wasn’t bad. I stood around talking for the first 10 minutes or so when I just asked a girl to dance and said “We might as well not have fun together”. After that, it was pretty fun until some assholes took me back to the boys and wouldn’t let me stay with my friends and their feel good candy. Amy was going to have my love child and name it Skyyyyyy….

Overall, this NDK wasn’t as good as last years (Limbo with a zanpaktou is fucking awesome no matter how you slice it. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Slice…) but it was a tad better than the first one I attended in 2005. I feel bad for Joe and David (who went to a Con for their first times) because they had NO IDEA what they were in for. Dudes dressed as chicks, the “aroma de nerd” and overall geek-out factor probably means they wont return. I enjoyed myself and got a new Karaoke Kon. All in all, not bad, not good.

NDK 2007 receives…

6.5 out of 10 Stars
(Yuna saved NK as she gave it 3 points by herself. That girl is fucking FINE. She is smooth....and sexy....and FIY-YI-YINE! And legal!)

Let’s keep the bus moving!

Why did you quit your job?

Well, there comes a point where you have to hit the reset button when you play a game to a point where there is no real way to beat the game or even advance any further (Anyone that has played RPG where you need an artifact to beat a boss and you didn’t get it knows what I mean). I had to hit reset or at least go back to my last save. Not like the moves you made were bad, but you could have taken a bit more time and formulated a strategy to get to a better place in the game to defeat the Materia Keeper. I hope that explains it. That and I can’t be a cube monkey anymore.

People all over the blog, join hands! Hop on the Chachi Bus!

Why do you hate Adult Swim/Cartoon Network anime?

Okay, I had this discussion at Borders and the comic book store a few times over the last month or so leading up to NDK. Those of you that watched Naruto in its subtitled form (from Dattebayo or others) know that the voices of the characters sound like adults even though they are children. You know that the intro and ending themes of the show are some of the greatest out there (Akeboshi, FLOW, Hearts Grow, Sambomaster and others) and are in some cases a drawing point to the show. You are fully aware the battles are violent and that the fights are actually well done (Unlike Gruntfest Z):

So why in the Cartoon Network/dubbed version do the kids sound like Gilbert Godfried with a concussion, the music is replaced by stock bullshit and the fight look like schoolyard slapfests?

I don’t like Cartoon Network because they don’t know how to re-package anime for shit. The fact is that shows are BUTCHERED by Cartoon Network because they try to make ALL anime for kids. It isn’t for fucking kids. Pokemon, yes. Card Captor Sakura, HELLS TO THE NO. It is for young adults and adults. I am not talking about hentai, yuri or yaoi (ugh to both…) when I say that. I am talking about One Piece, Naruto, Eureka Seven, Bleach and pretty much all the shows on Cartoon Network. Now, Adult Swim is a different animal. The music is untouched for Blood+ (Which I will argue has maybe the best opening/ending themes EVER, although the show is kind of bland), Bleach and Eureka Seven (Halcali, bitches! WHAT?!) but the voices are shit. Flat out shit. I have yet to EVER hear a good dub for an anime (Slayers has its moments and Kare Kano is TOLERABLE when it comes to the female voice actors. The men suck ass, yaoi style) and with the popularity rising you figure they would do more to curb the crappy acting. It really makes people not watch the show and go to fansubs. Which brings me to the next stop on the bus…

Do you think fansubbing is bad for anime?

What is irony? Irony is when you are watching the Bleach: Memories of Nobody fansub when they are having a panel discussion at NDK about how fansubbing is killing the anime industry. Yeah, I fucking rule. The fact is that fansubbing is revitalizing the industry for non-casual anime watchers. Die-hard fans (which I am on the lower segment of) watch fansubs because we don’t want to hear the vocal rape of our favorite characters on cable (or in shittier cases NETWORK) television. Also, since shows are licensed before being finished (Bleach, Naruto, Death Note, Darker Than Black, etc) many people want to watch them until the end and prefer to buy the DVD’s of they have the option of subtitles. Add in the fact that some shows are OVER ONE HUNDRED EPISODES BEHIND THE JAPANESE COUNTERPART and watching fansubs becomes the only option to stay current with your favorite shows.

Overall, fansubbing actually helps anime because it creates buzz about certain shows. I wouldn’t know about Bleach had Zach not told me to get back into it. Had I not heard about Death Note on message boards I wouldn’t have watched it. Fansubbing can help the anime world if they don’t turn into vaginas about it.

Let’s keep on movin, baby!

Does J-Pop have it’s place at an ANIME convention?

Hmm. I had this discussion in the dealer room (I went back for a badass wall scroll when I went back to my car on the first day) when I was looking through the music CD’s and only found anime soundtracks. Now much like The Rembrandts “I’ll Be There For You”is as much a part of “Friends” as Ross & Rachel, I believe that the openings of Bleach are just as important as the rivalry between Ichigo and Grimmjaw. With that being said, I think (THIS IS MY OPINION) that J-Pop DOES have a place at an anime convention. I will say 40% of anime fans don’t listen to J-Pop and that is sad because it plays a large part to the success of an anime. Look at some of the names associated with opening/closing themes in anime:

• L’Arc~en~Ciel
• Kumi Koda
• Orange Range
• FLOW
• Yui
• Maximum the Hormone
• Nana Kitade
• Ayumi Hamasaki
• Namie Amuro
• High and Mighty Color
• BoA
• Nightmare
• Home Made Kazoku
• Ai Otsuka
• Antic Cafe
• Aqua Timez
• Duran Duran (Speedgrapger, bitches!)

These are some of the biggest names in J-Pop and they have ALL done at least one opening/closing theme for a successful anime. So with that being said, at least the songs they performed should be available for purchase. Not only that, most people only know the staples of the anime openings and closings….which is pretty much Neon Genesis Evangelion. Which while it is good, it isnt great. I personally think that Duvet from Serial Experiments Lain is the best of all time:

Love that song. Either way, I think that more J-Pop themed events at NDK would have helped. A “Name That Tune” anime style would have rocked the box (between Zach, Nolan and I we would have it on LOCKDOWN) and if the J-Pop dance party would have played Bi (Who is Korean but is good stuff) or Namie Amuro it would have been awesome. Yet I know nerds cant dance but they did alright last year. Long story short, J-pop has its place at an anime convention because J-pop is a part of anime much like soundtracks were part of movies in the 80s. Remember Top Gun, Footloose and Purple Rain? I rest my case.

The bus is winding down to its last stop….

Fiddy or ‘Ye (50 Cent or Kanye West)

Well, all I can say is that I liked “Graduation”. It broke the theme from his last two albums (the college saga) but still shows some growth. Also shows some regression, meaning this was not as good as “College Dropout” but it was better than “Late Registration”. With that being said, 50 pretty much released every fucking song on his album as a single because all of them sucked (If you liked “I Get Money” then you need to be shot in the fucking face. I don’t care if you don’t like what I said, you are a fucking moron and need to be eliminated) so I can say that from what I heard his album odds are sucked. I will download a copy and give a better idea, but aside from the beat for “Ayo Technology” I could do without Curtis ever again. Hip hop shooting, where are ye? With that being said I give a full edge to Kanye West because despite his faults of being a total fucktard the man can make an album that is listenable. Here is to him maintaining the lead over 50 Cent and finally shutting him up once and for all. He will do what sadly bullets couldn’t. Man…I am kind of a dick. Eh, its how I roll. My blog, my fucking rules.

And that is the end of today’s Omnibus! Man, that was long. Well, I guess that is all for now. Happy birthday to me and whatnot. You know who gave me a birthday present? YUI!

I….LOVE…..YOU! Almost as much as I love that Tifa from NDK. Damn age laws. Japan would understand. I AM KIDDING! Party on everyone! Its my birf’day!

I will be going out in a bit. Anyone that wants to roll out (if you live in the area I mean) let me know. SLUMBER PAR-TAAAAY!

By the way, this was more coincidence than anything else buy I have just hit 400 posts on Blogger! That is all original material with a few breaks in between but an average of about a post every two days which is good for me. I want to thank all the people who visit the site regularly because I only do this site for the peeps. Here is to hopefully 400 more! Or not, I’m not big on the whole “OMG! 513 POSTS!!!1!11” type of action but it’s nice to know that people read my anger and don’t think it’s COMPLETELY offensive. Thank you again, I truly appreciate your visits and occasional comments.

Chachi Out.

Happy Birthday To Me....

So another Nan Desu Kan has come and gone and while not as fun as last year (J-POP DANCEE PAR-TAY!) it had its moments. I got another karaoke Kon! Hope you are enjoying the original, Jen. Odds are you used it to clean windows :(

Either way, it was pretty damn bad ass. Too many spaces of nothing (which was ample time to get a few drinks) but what was attended was good. Who knew anime nerds could PAR-TAY? Oh, and F2T Rikku....I love you. She was kickin' like Chuck Norris on a Wednesday. Too bad thinking about her gets me 4 years in jail. I AM KIDDING!

And I got a Hitsugaya keychain, bitches! Post up tonight or tomorrow about the con and shit that pisses me off. Non-bathers....I am talking to you. How in the FUCK do you show up to a convention ALREADY SMELLING LIKE A PRISON? Wash your ass!

Oh, one last thing. I HATE KIOSKS AT THE MALL! Seriously. Zach said it best:

"People that work in kiosks dont have souls"

I mean its bad enough you are at the bottom of the mall food chain below the pretzel maker and the chumpstain workers at the pet stores. At least make an ATTEMPT to have a sales pitch. I mean seriously, the wanton beating of your stupid asses should be promoted and rewarded.

In closing: I dont want a fucking Helio your worthless bitch and as for the fucker at the cell phone kiosks asking you if you want a Razr (the shittiest phone since the cup and string) you can take your Razr, slit your wrists and then shove it up your ass. At least you got out in an interesting way. Bleeding to death from your ass and wrists at the same time is a novel way to die and may get people to give a shit about you for a few minutes, even in laughter.

WHY IN THE FUCK IS METALOCALYPSE STILL ON THE AIR?! Gawd....dammit. Oh, on another note I am another year older and another year madder. Happy birthday to me. I need a fucking shot of Tuaca to get through this day....

Nerds Night Out!

It is NDK WEEKEND, or Super Bowl Weekend for nerds and and I am PUMPED! It will be a long, busy weekend but it will be so worth it. But first, it is time for the Friday staple on its original day…

Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!

We start with a video on its way out…

20. Gym Class Heroes – Clothes Off (Last Week #16)
Gym Class Heroes holds on to the Top 20 for another week! Their album isnt all too bad and I am looking forward to them coming out here on tour. At least I hope to see them anyway. If Rebelde isnt coming and Denver is full of Mexicans (no offense) there is no way GCH is coming and Denver has just as many bros. Bros love them.
19. Kanye West feat. T-Pain - GoodLife (New Entry)

This will be the ONLY FUCKING TIME you see T-Pain on here. I really like this song (second favorite track on the album, actually) and the video is once again simple in its complexity. You know, even though there were video models they werent the sole focus of the video. Take note Curtis. Kanye does rap (almost) right.
18. Common – The People (Last Week #9, Plunge of the Week)
Speaking of rap…ouch. Common falls the most spots on this Countdown in over five months as he plummets a huge nine spots with this video. He has another video on here but this is tough seeing as how this video came close to taking down UGK & Outkast not a month ago.
17. L`Arc~en~Ciel – Seventh Heaven (Last Week #14, One week at #1)

Album coming soon! My god an album coming soon! Did you hear that? That was my mulitple orgasam echoing across the cosmos.
16. Common feat Lily Allen – Driving Me Wild (Last Week #18)
The second of Common’s videos this week moves up two spots this week. I am liking the simplicity and not booty shaking of hip hop videos in 2007. Between Talib Kweli’s “Hot Thing” (which is a great video, albeit taking from the HP commercials) and Kanye’s videos I am liking the turn away from the bling blong. Lets see how mainstream America feels about Black men not acting stupid.
15. Soulja Boy – Crank That [Soulja Boy] (Last Week #20)
Superman that hooooooooo! Soulja Boy moves up a big five spots this week with the biggest dance craze since “Da Butt”! Okay….admission time. I have been practicing this dance almost every day. Leave me alone! I need to make friends! I am totally getting his album in October.
14. AI – Brand New Day (Last Week # 11)

Speaking of albums. WHERE IN THE HELL IS AI’S ALBUM! Eh, patience makes the heart grow fonder. This video falls a bit more this week after a short stay in the Top 10. This video wasn’t as good as “I Wanna Know” but few things are.
13. Yui – Love & Truth (Last Week #15)
Well, isnt this familiar? Yui is moving back up the Countdown, looking for her fourth Top 10 video THIS YEAR. Now that is big pimping. I wonder what this song is from because there are a lot of clips in the video that look to be from a movie. Little help here?
12. Tenjo Chiki (TSZX) – Pirhrana (Last Week #13)
The saucy ladies of Tenjo Chiki move up another spot this week and seem to be slowing down a tad. With Yui, Mihimaru GT (the lead singer is my new lady love) and Nelly Furtado all with new videos they may be out matched. Not to deny their Korean hotness, though. Shit…Rick, I need to listen to you more.
11. Mihimaru GT – Gazen Yeah! (Last Week #17, Biggest Mover)

Officially my new favortite song. This song gives me the same vibe as Bennie K’s “Oasis” and I consider that to be the greatest J-pop song ever. The dancing in the video is peppy and it is a rather funny video. Add a happy little song and you have some great fall time listening!
10. Hearts Grow - Mimawari (Last Week #7)
We are into the Top 10 and Hearts Grown continues their slow descent down the Countdown this week. This was a great summertime jam but now with “Gazen yeah” out it has lost its place. Even still, the video is happy times and the song is great. Almost made me watch Powerpuff Girls Z. ALMOST.
9. Chamillionare – Hip Hop Police (Last Week #10)
So Chamillionare moves up one more spot this week with arguable the funniest video of the year. Funny in a sad way because hip hop police are real and they fucking suck. Ask Teq about that shit. It’s poppycock and they know it.
8. Sowelu, EXILE & DOBERMAN INC – 24 Karat (Last Week #12)
Sowelu in the Top 10? Can life GET ANY BETTER? The combined might of Sowelu, EXILE and DOBERMAN INC are looking to take the top spot with this hawt ass video. I am curious who’s album this is going to be on or whose album is even coming out first? Odds are Sowelu since EXILE had “Evolution” last year. To that all I can say is YES!
7. UGK feat. Outkast – International Players Anthem (Last Week #5, Seven weeks at #1)
For the first time since MAY, UGK is out of the Top 5. Now THAT is dominance of the Countdown. I havent heard anything on the new video front from UGK and Outkast will get back to work…whenever. I need be another “Bombs Over Baghdad”!
6. Nelly Furtado – Do It (Last Week #9)

Sexy Furtado (Her new name) moves up three more spots this week. She is just short of her fourth Top 5 video and from this point on, the upper echelon looks mighty familiar. This is the first of SIX straight videos from artists that have at least one #1 video!
5. Kanye West feat. Daft Punk – Stronger (Last Week #3, One week at #1)
Kanye falls two more spots this week after a long trek to #1. However, he shouldn’t feel too bad. It looks as if his album is going to outsell 50 Cent (so far it is reportedly 417,000 to 350,000 or something) but he has a second video on the Countdown to boot. Only Kanye could make me tolerate T-Pain. Maybe Namie Amuro. Mmmm….
4. UVERworld - Shaka Beach~Laka Laka La~ (Last Week #6)
UVERworld has their record breaking FIFTH (Or FIF) Top 5 video! They are making a bid for the Group of the Year Chachi Award (Along with Maroon 5, Abindon Boys School and nobodyknows+ as frontrunners) even though 2007 is nowhere near as UVERiffic as 2006 was. Man, if it wasn’t for me totally screwing myself over last year 2006 would have been awesome. We are down to three…
3. John Legend – Stereo (Last Week #4)

Slowly but surely, John Legend is moving up the Countdown! He has his fourth Top 3 video and is looking to be the first artist to go four-for-four and have his 4th #1 video. Now THAT is Legendary. The former champion parade continues at #2….
2. Abingdon Boys School – Nephilim (Last Week #2)

Abingdon Boys School holds on tight to the #2 position this week as it tries to get their second #1 video. The last five artists have a total of 10 # 1 videos between them at a combined 36 weeks at the top. Now THAT is true dominance. Well, with ABS at #2 the #1 spot is occupied by….
1. Aqua Timez - Alones (Last Week #1, Two weeks at #1)

Aqua Timez extends their first bid at the top for a second week! With Bleach now following the manga, this video may be here for a little bit. Besides, it was a LONG WAIT to get this single and even longer to get the video so Aqua Timez may take a small rest here. Congratulations for this week!

That is all for now! Tune in next week to see if Aqua Timez can hold on for a third week at #1! Or will Abingdon Boys School go two-for-two and get the top spot? Or will John Legend go a record breaking four-for-four and take the crown? Tune in next Friday to find out!

I will be off to NDK after I pick up David from work so I will have an update probably on Sunday. Until I return, stay up peeps.

Chachi Out

Better Late Than Punched In Le Nards....

What is up, ya’ll! Sorry so late but I didn’t get home until…ten minutes or so ago but I am bringing you the Friday staple albeit delayed…

Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!

We start off this week with a video that has secretly been my favorite for about a month and I had to let it out!

20. Soulja Boy – Crank That [Soulja Boy] (New Entry)

Yoooooooou! It is the hottest song of the fall coming at you! I have been secretly listening to this song for about two months and I am all about cranking it! Not masterbation, pervs. I mean cranking that Soulja Boy! Check the dance, fools!
19. Foxxi MisQ feat. Miss Monday – Party Booty Shake (Last Week #16)
It is a sad day in Chachiville as it looks like the Summer of Foxxi has come to an end. After a stay at #2 the second of Foxxi MisQ’s videos looks to be on its way out. It has been a very good year for the front runner for Best New Artist and I hope they give me something new real soon.
18. Common feat Lily Allen – Driving Me Wild (New Entry)

Chi-town, stand up! In 3007 the Windy City is representing with Kanye, Young Berg and Common all giving us hits (Okay…I like “Sexy Lady” and I am sorry) and now Common has his second video on the Top 20 Countdown this year! It is actually one of my favorite songs from “Finding Forever” and one of the best hip hop songs out there. And Lily Allen is cool.
17. Mihimaru GT – Gazen Yeah! (Last Week #20)
So this video is creepy. Not going to lie to you, the singer is hot but that hair is NOT doing it for me. Luckily there is cool dancing and this song has a “Birthday Eve” vibe to it. You know how much I loves me some of The Koda.
16. Gym Class Heroes – Clothes Off (Last Week #13)
GCH falls another two spots this week after cracking the Top 10. Great song, fun video but the summer is ending and its fall baby! Time to come with the good stuff!
15. Yui – Love & Truth (Last Week #18)
Speaking of good stuff…Yui has become a woman now. No longer is the the cute teenager that gave me “Life” and “Rolling Star”. She is a full fledged hottie that I can rock out or give me some good guitar slow action. Bottom line….I love me some of the Yui. Mmmmm.
14. L`Arc~en~Ciel – Seventh Heaven (Last Week #10, One week at #1)
I just got their new single on Wednesday and all I can say is that their new song may even be better than this one. And this song was AWESOME. The video shows Hyde in all his hotness and shows he is even hotter than the savannah. Yeah, that’s true.
13. Tenjo Chiki (TSZX) – Pirhrana (Last Week #17)

God. I LOVE THIS DAMN VIDEO. I sweaer if Hinoi Team comes out looking like these girls with their next song I will so have a problem because Tenjo Chiki is HAWT. Sexy dancing plus sexy ladies equals a sexy party!
12. Sowelu, EXILE & DOBERMAN INC – 24 Karat (Last Week #14)
So much sexy, so little time! Sowelu leads EXILE and DOBERMAN INC upward and just outside of the Top 10! It would be all three’s first Top 10 video which is a shock with EXILE having “Lover’s Again” earlier this year. But hey, Sowelu can do that for you.
11. AI – Brand New Day (Last Week # 9)
So AI falls two more spots this week. Has anyone heard word about a new album yet? It has been a few years and I NEEDS ME SOME MORE AI! Even still, this video is big band fun.
10. Chamillionare – Hip Hop Police (Last Week #11)
We have made it into the Top 10 and we begin with drama! Chamillionare has his first ever Top 10 video and a good one it is! I am rather excited about hearing “Ultimate Victory” because he is supposed to be cutting down on the cursing and n-words. Could hip hop be a-chaning?
9. Common – The People (Last Week #8)
Common is making a bid for Artist of the Year, even though this video didn’t quite take the #1 spot from UGK. With another video on here it is a testament to his awesomeness how this video only fell one spot this week.
8. Nelly Furtado – Do It (Last Week #12)

Four Top 10 videos for Nelly Furtado! This is not my favorite video from her this year (“Say It Right” is, hands down) but I do like this song a lot more. Oh, and Nelly Furtado has striking eyes. Just…striking.
7. Hearts Grow - Mimawari (Last Week #4)
After peaking at #2 a few weeks agi, Hearts Grow falls three spots this week with this video. Here is hoping for something new soon, this group is really starting to grow on me.
6. UVERworld - Shaka Beach~Laka Laka La~ (Last Week #7)

UVERworld is slowly taking their fifth Top 20 video to the top. A second single means hopefully a new album soon so they can give me a good sequel to “Timeless” which was indeed….timeless.
5. UGK feat. Outkast – International Players Anthem (Last Week #2, Seven weeks at #1)
After holding the top spot for almost two months, UGK and Outkast fall another three spots but stay in the Top 5. This is officially (IMHO) the best video of the year hands down. Unless another video blows the lid off, UGK are the video kings as well!
4. John Legend – Stereo (Last Week #5)
John Legend and UVERworld are vying to be the first with FOUR #1 videos and this week John moves closer to his goal. The fourth video off last years’ Album of the Year is movie up and once again it is good stuff.
3. Kanye West feat. Daft Punk – Stronger (Last Week #1, One week at #1)

After one week at the Top, Kanye has been humbled and falls two spots to #3! With “Graduation” coming out next week and my distain for 50 Cent at an all time low (Now it has just become apathy) I am really looking forwar to see what he has. If the download is any indication, its not bad.
2. Abingdon Boys School – Nephilim (Last Week #3)

ABS is making some noise! They move one spot to #2 in hopes that they get their secong straight #1 video with this one. Although TM isnt a new artist, ABS is up there with Foxxi MisQ and Daughtry in the running for Best New Artist. Can they take the throne again? Well, if the new #1 is any indication…
1. Aqua Timez - Alones [Biggest Mover] (Last Week #6, One week at #1)

…Then prepare for another LOOOOOOONG reign! After ony one month, Aqua Timez kicks Kanye to the curb and takes the #1 spot! The only artist to make it to #1 faster was nobodyknows+ and we know what video they did and the amount of ass it kicked. Not only that, Bleach is FINALLY BACK TO THE MANGA so the show is rocking the box again after 13 episodes plus of filler. All in all it is a good year for the Timez! All hail the new #1 video!

Well, that is all for this week! The Countdown returns to Friday next week (my god…5am is the suckiest time of day) so tune in to see if Aqua Timez can hold #1 for another week! Or will Abingdon Boys School take them down for their second run as champs? Or will John Legend live up to his last name and break the record for most #1 videos? See you next Friday!

Chachi Out