What is up! It is SO FRIDAY and it is going to be so FUCKING AWESOME! But before we go out to our local movie house, it is time for the….
Chachi Top 20 Video Countdown!
We start off with a Countdown legend on his way out…
20. T.I. – Big Things Poppin’ (Last Week #16)
The King of the South and (arguably) the King of the Countdown is on his way out of the Top 20 after cracking the Top 5. Here is hoping for a new T.I. video soon (I am personally waiting for “Help’s On The Way”) as it has been a good year for hip hop after…like a six year shit swing. Now, time for the greatest moment ever…
19. Aqua Timez - Alones (New Entry)
FUCK YES! FUCK YES! Did you hear that? That was the sound of my HARDEST orgasm EVER! Aqua Timez is in your face with a video for the best song of the year. There, I said it. “Alones” is the best song of the year. Prove me the fuck wrong. Yeah, I thought so. Also, it is about damn time I got a video for this! BAD ASS!
18. Sowelu, EXILE & DOBERMAN INC – 24 Karat (Last Week #20)
Mmm…Sowelu moves up two spots this week. With her fine ass. Her sexy, sexy fine ass. Oh, and she brings EXILE and DOBERMAN INC with her, too. Not as concerned about them though. I’m all about the ‘Lu!
17. Foxxi MisQ feat Zeebra – Luxury Ride (Last Week #13)
The ladies of Foxxi MisQ STILL have two videos in the Top 20, which is a feat in itself. Also, I am still waiting for a new video or at least some more live video of them. I have them performing “Ultimate Girls” on Music Station and….lets just say it’s HAWT.
16. Nelly Furtado – Do It (Last Week #18)
After a long absence (5 months) Nelly Furtado is back with a new video! “Do It” moves up two spots this week in the hopes of her second #1 video. It has been a while since “Loose” was released and she has been rather quite. And I don’t likes it. Gimme more! Do it!
15. FLOW - Answer (Last Week #15)
FLOW holds steady this week at #15. This video isn’t as bad ass as “Re:member” but very few things are. Kind of punished for past greatness but it was the same for Namie Amuro and T.I. It happens.
14. Chamillionare – Hip Hop Police (Last Week #17)
Okay, confession time. I love this video. I actually like Cham to boot. “Ridin Dirty” was pretty good and he has been in every remix not including Lil Wayne this year. I have to say…he is becoming tolerable.
13. Yui – My Generation (Last Week #10)
NOOOOO! Yui is out of the Top 10 for the first time in three months! It is a shame, but that is what you get when you don’t give me a video for about four months. I needs my damn Yui fix.
12. UVERworld - Shaka Beach~Laka Laka La~ (Last Week #14)
Speaking of fixes. I got my UVERworld fix and I must say it is well worth the wait! Like I said last week it is no “SHAMROCK” but this song is awesome. The b-sides to the single aren’t too bad either.
11. Gackt – RETURNER ~Yami no Shuuen~ (Last Week #7)
The hottest man on the Countdown falls four big spots this week with this video. All I can say is that even the hottest man alive needs to give me a video every now and then. I am just saying. On to the Top 10!
10. Gym Class Heroes – Clothes Off (Last Week #12)
Don’t look now, but Gym Class Heroes have worked their way into the Top 10 for the first time ever! Hey, 80’s covers get you play in my book. That and furries getting served dance style is the ONLY way they should be served. Aside from beat the hell up. That shit is gross!
9. John Legend – Stereo (Last Week #11)
John Legend is now tied with UVERworld with his FOURTH Top 10 video! That is quite a feat, especially in a calendar year! I really like this video now, actually better than “Heaven”. Nothing will EVER top “Save Room” but this is a nice summertime jam I will admit.
8. Foxxi MisQ feat. Miss Monday – Party Booty Shake (Last Week #4)
Mo Foxxi, Mo Problems! Both of Foxxi MisQ’s videos are falling this week and that truly hurts. Mainly because Dem is fricking hawt and I will miss her. Well, they’s all hot but you get the idea.
7. AI – Brand New Day (Last Week # 8)
AI is slowly moving her way up the Countdown, jumping one spot this week. Can she get back to the top with such stiff competition? She was there once before, but not against the likes of UGK, Abingdon Boys School and Kanye West. We will see!
6. Kanye West feat. Daft Punk – Stronger (Last Week #9)
Kanye makes the biggest jump this week, moving one step away from his second Top 5 video of the year! His album was sadly pushed up to not face 50 Cent’s album and all I can say to that is…niggas and their money are soon parted. And they don’t buy stuff to better themselves. Sad, but at least I still have Common and Kanye. More on Common later!
5. Abingdon Boys School – Nephilim (Last Week #6)
Abingdon Boys School has their second Top Five video in a month! This video has grown on me since I saw the live performance last week. It takes a pretty bad ass dude to wear a kilt in a rock video. And they pull it off.
4. L`Arc~en~Ciel – Seventh Heaven (Last Week #3, One week at #1)
After holding the top spot for a week, Hyde and Company fall one spot. I am STILL WAITING for a new video guys. Any day now…
3. Hearts Grow - Mimawari (Last Week #5)
Hearts Grow are in the Top 3! They are now treading some MAJOR territory as they are above veterans like Nelly Furtado, John Legend and UVERworld. Can they go even HIGHER and maybe even…take number one? The video is awesome and the competition is fierce so stay tuned! Its an all hip hop top two for the second straight week!
2. Common – The People (Last Week #2)
For the second straight week, Common stays at #2 with “The People”. His album debuted at #1 a few weeks ago which shows that maybe Americans ARENT stupid. I am really proud of you, hip hop fans. It isn’t all booty butt cheeks. Well, Common couldn’t take the crown for the people…
1.UGK feat. Outkast – International Players Anthem (Last Week #1, Six weeks at #1)
…Because the Underground Kings are still holding onto the throne! They have the #1 album in America and the #1 video for a SIXTH WEEK, beating out John Legend’s “Save Room” for the Countdown era record! T.I. was retro-ed 8 weeks for “What You Know” but this is the longest reigning video since I have posted this full time. Sweet Jones and the King of Trill are at #1 again! And don’t forget Daddy Fat Sacks and Andre Three Stacks! Great job!
Well, that is all for this week! Tune in next Friday to see if UGK can make it a record SEVEN WEEKS at #1! Or will Common finally lead the people to the Promised Land? Or can Hearts Grow finally take #1 as rookies? See you in seven days to find out!
That is all for now! I am off to see “Superbad” after work so I will let you know how it is on Saturday or Sunday. Next weekend it is “The Little Mermaid” so get ready for that! I am so straight. So until next time, stay up peeps!
Chachi Out!
Friday, August 17, 2007
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Keeping It Real...Goes Wrong (Oh, and MUCK FADDEN!)
Guess who's back?! The kid is back on the scene in the gangsta lean! Or some other shit that rhymes. Sorry I have been gone so long; I have been in this mindrape of a job for the last few days. I dont mince wordsm, play no games and I take no shorts. It is what it is and I dont have to like it. A change gon come though, hook or by crook.
I am SO SICK AND TIRED OF MADDEN! I hadnt bought one since 2002 and I figured “Hell its been six years, lets give it a whirl!” Well I did and all I can say is…I know I played this before. When it was called NCAA 08. The gameplay is the exact same, minus the option which REALLY doesn’t work in this (Trust me, I fucking tried) and a LOT fewer teams to choose from. The graphics arent all that special and there is very little in terms of presentation. You would figure with all the money EA paid for exclusive rights to the NFL they would make a better fucking product.
Now I don’t know if the game isnt FINISHED or if my game is just glitched up but something is MAJORLY WRONG WITH MY FUCKING GAMEPLAY. Fumbles that were caused by hitting the ground werent overturned. Blatant, and I mean BLANTANT pass interference wasn’t called. I mean tackling the reciever while they are in the air kind of interference. What is even stupider is the amount of fumbles. Now in NCAA it was understandable (Freshmen fumbled constantly and seniors did but in the right circumstances) because they are in college. Underthrown balls always happen off the back foot in college and overthrows are common place, especially on blown routes. The amount of fumbles and underthrown balls in Madden is mind-boggling. I mean even Peyton “Horseface” Manning underthrew balls BADLY and often as the computer to boot.
The worse part of it all is the “WHAT THE GODDAMN FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” moments. I call it that because that’s what I have to yell every two plays or so. Not about small stuff, either. I mean offensive linemen turning around at the snap of the ball and running BEHIND YOU. I mean running backs blocking when they are supposed to go out for a pass. I’m talking about the football going THROUGH THE FUCKING RECIEVER. Or my favorite, calling for a block and the blocker runs to block someone FIFTEEN YARDS DOWNFIELD while you get the shit creamed out of you and eventually fumble like a pansy. Oh, and I have never seen a chop block work in this game. Even with the Broncos and we know how they like to redwood people. And when they miss…your quarterback/running back is gonna get RAPED, “The Accused” style. Which is more often than not.
What pisses me off the most is I got the Xbox 360 version (which was $60) and it looks no better than NFL 2K5…for the original X-Box. Well, that is an exaggeration but it isnt all the good. Hell, NCAA 08 looked better, played smoother (the running game is NON EXISTENT in this game, even with the Falcons, Broncos and Steelers) and the frustration was justified due to the fact they are college players. The NFL is full of god damned pros! They should be better than this! There is no excuse for offensive linemen running away from defenders or the CONSTANT gang tackling. No matter what you do, one man cannot take you down. Even with Warrick Dunn, it would take three dudes to get him on the ground which makes NO SENSE. The game is unbalanced in weird ways and just…ugh it isnt fun to play. Maybe against other people but against the computer its just glitches and bullshit. It may have been rushed or I may be out of the swing of things but it is hard to enjoy a game when your players are playing for the other damn team. Fuck Madden in his fat ass head. Stick with NCAA 08. Oh, and why does no one give a fuck at the end of games? I won a game 50-44 in overtime on a 80 yard run by Warrick Dunn and I got nothing. No boos, no cheers. In NCAA at least the animated crowd goes nuts and the players spaz out. I mean give me some damn incentive. Hey, just like my real life. On that note…
PAY ME OR MOVE ME, YOU MOTHER FUCKERS!
Did I say that out loud? You damn right I did. Eat my ass, you know who you are you cheap fucksticks. Playing with my money is like paying with my emotions. That’s real talk.
So rather than play Madden (and end up punching a hole in the wall) I am downloading the BioShock demo and playing Stranglehold as soon as I finish this. Maybe a little Tomb Raider, that game doesn’t piss me off as much.
Oh, one last thing…Jessica Alba still has herpes. Serves you right, bitch! I lovedededed you! And you leave me?! YOU LEAVE ME?! That’s what you get for skipping out on all the STD free lovin over here. Now you aint NEVER getting none of the Deuce because after the “Yellow Rice Incidents” I aint toying around with herpes of any kind again. Know what I mean, Richard? If I have it, you have it too! Just kidding, Ricky’s good people. Just keep him away from your deer.
Well, that is all for now. I had to piss on Madden because I was just TOTALLY pissed about how nothing was working. I will be back Friday and have a review of “Superbad” hopefully on Saturday or Sunday. Until then, stay up peeps.
Oh, and Ingrid Coronado es MUY BUENO!
Hell yeah.
Chachi Out.
I am SO SICK AND TIRED OF MADDEN! I hadnt bought one since 2002 and I figured “Hell its been six years, lets give it a whirl!” Well I did and all I can say is…I know I played this before. When it was called NCAA 08. The gameplay is the exact same, minus the option which REALLY doesn’t work in this (Trust me, I fucking tried) and a LOT fewer teams to choose from. The graphics arent all that special and there is very little in terms of presentation. You would figure with all the money EA paid for exclusive rights to the NFL they would make a better fucking product.
Now I don’t know if the game isnt FINISHED or if my game is just glitched up but something is MAJORLY WRONG WITH MY FUCKING GAMEPLAY. Fumbles that were caused by hitting the ground werent overturned. Blatant, and I mean BLANTANT pass interference wasn’t called. I mean tackling the reciever while they are in the air kind of interference. What is even stupider is the amount of fumbles. Now in NCAA it was understandable (Freshmen fumbled constantly and seniors did but in the right circumstances) because they are in college. Underthrown balls always happen off the back foot in college and overthrows are common place, especially on blown routes. The amount of fumbles and underthrown balls in Madden is mind-boggling. I mean even Peyton “Horseface” Manning underthrew balls BADLY and often as the computer to boot.
The worse part of it all is the “WHAT THE GODDAMN FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” moments. I call it that because that’s what I have to yell every two plays or so. Not about small stuff, either. I mean offensive linemen turning around at the snap of the ball and running BEHIND YOU. I mean running backs blocking when they are supposed to go out for a pass. I’m talking about the football going THROUGH THE FUCKING RECIEVER. Or my favorite, calling for a block and the blocker runs to block someone FIFTEEN YARDS DOWNFIELD while you get the shit creamed out of you and eventually fumble like a pansy. Oh, and I have never seen a chop block work in this game. Even with the Broncos and we know how they like to redwood people. And when they miss…your quarterback/running back is gonna get RAPED, “The Accused” style. Which is more often than not.
What pisses me off the most is I got the Xbox 360 version (which was $60) and it looks no better than NFL 2K5…for the original X-Box. Well, that is an exaggeration but it isnt all the good. Hell, NCAA 08 looked better, played smoother (the running game is NON EXISTENT in this game, even with the Falcons, Broncos and Steelers) and the frustration was justified due to the fact they are college players. The NFL is full of god damned pros! They should be better than this! There is no excuse for offensive linemen running away from defenders or the CONSTANT gang tackling. No matter what you do, one man cannot take you down. Even with Warrick Dunn, it would take three dudes to get him on the ground which makes NO SENSE. The game is unbalanced in weird ways and just…ugh it isnt fun to play. Maybe against other people but against the computer its just glitches and bullshit. It may have been rushed or I may be out of the swing of things but it is hard to enjoy a game when your players are playing for the other damn team. Fuck Madden in his fat ass head. Stick with NCAA 08. Oh, and why does no one give a fuck at the end of games? I won a game 50-44 in overtime on a 80 yard run by Warrick Dunn and I got nothing. No boos, no cheers. In NCAA at least the animated crowd goes nuts and the players spaz out. I mean give me some damn incentive. Hey, just like my real life. On that note…
PAY ME OR MOVE ME, YOU MOTHER FUCKERS!
Did I say that out loud? You damn right I did. Eat my ass, you know who you are you cheap fucksticks. Playing with my money is like paying with my emotions. That’s real talk.
So rather than play Madden (and end up punching a hole in the wall) I am downloading the BioShock demo and playing Stranglehold as soon as I finish this. Maybe a little Tomb Raider, that game doesn’t piss me off as much.
Oh, one last thing…Jessica Alba still has herpes. Serves you right, bitch! I lovedededed you! And you leave me?! YOU LEAVE ME?! That’s what you get for skipping out on all the STD free lovin over here. Now you aint NEVER getting none of the Deuce because after the “Yellow Rice Incidents” I aint toying around with herpes of any kind again. Know what I mean, Richard? If I have it, you have it too! Just kidding, Ricky’s good people. Just keep him away from your deer.
Well, that is all for now. I had to piss on Madden because I was just TOTALLY pissed about how nothing was working. I will be back Friday and have a review of “Superbad” hopefully on Saturday or Sunday. Until then, stay up peeps.
Oh, and Ingrid Coronado es MUY BUENO!
Hell yeah.
Chachi Out.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Another Sunday, Another Monday
Well, it is Sunday and all I can say is this has been a very interesting two weeks. The fun stops tomorrow and this should be an interesting six weeks. First off, I have had ENOUGH of Comcast’s shit. The OneDemand doesn’t work and I just had to reset my BRAND NEW MODEM AND BRAND NEW ROUTER AGAIN! I have a two month old computer and a year old laptop and BOTH lose signal constantly and no one can say why. That shit is going to have to stop or I will not be a happy camper. Now for some things I have learned:
1. It is hot as FUCK outside. Seriously, there is no need for this. I want to say Al Gore’s boring ass was right, but I am NOT going to do that.
2. Codename: Cleaner may just be the worst movie ever made. If it wasn’t for Lucy Liu's fine ass I would be killing Cedric the Entertainer as you read this. That woman is DAMN FINE.
3. The dubbed voices in anime suck ASS. I am watching some "Tenjho Tenge" (Everyone spells it there own way it looks like) while I do my laundry and the voices make me want to bite a kitten in anger. It isnt even like the show itself was any damn good, at LEAST try to make the voices not suck. Between Bleach, Naruto and Highlander: The Anime (Which kicks ASS. I was pleasantly surprised) I am giving up on all attempts to do voice-over work. If “Death Note” and “Darker Than Black” suck I will snap. I swear it.
4. Preseason football is boring. Anyone tell me that the Titans/Redskins game had ANY REDEEMING QUALITY aside it ended. If you say it did you are a moron. The NFL is about 18 games from September to January and that is all that matters. Even those are fixed. Fuck Peyton Manning.
5. “Hanazakari no Kimitachi e” rules all. The manga was pretty damn good and the j-drama is rather entertaining. Oh, and Hirokita Maki is FUCKING HAWT:
Hell yeah. She is quite the nice. She was in Otaku Densha too, which makes her my baby boo because that was the greatest show in history. Like my life in the form of a Japanese man….except he had cooler Gundams and his woman didn’t have anything against him being an otaku. That will sadly get you shot in my hood. Sentai equals street warfare. Enough of that, here is some Hana Kimi!
Now that is good TV. We have 20 years of “The Real World” but no shows like this? It’s why this country has remakes of remakes.
6. Women have a REEEEEEAL ego issue. I know I have a high level of confidence (As I have been told by women it is bordering on conceit and megalomania) but I am…what’s the word…realistic. It seems that every woman, no matter how unattractive or devoid of common sense and personality, believes they are the shit and all men want them. And if you DON’T want said woman, there is something wrong with YOU because she is hotter than two lions fucking in the savannah. Well, the truth is you aren’t all that. I am wondering why you left the house looking like a reject from 50 Cent’s “I Get Money” video and expecting to be respected or viewed as anything but a whore. As a man, I can’t say “Oh no you didn’t” without sounding gay. It’s a conundrum. There is nothing wrong with confidence. There is something TOTALLY wrong with delusion.
7. Women don’t know good music. I have been to Abingdon Boys School isn’t any good because it is in Japanese but women will listen to T-Pain like he is fucking Marvin Gaye. I am saying this one more time: T-Pain sucks. These are NOT LYRICS:
Oooo she made us drinks, to drink
We drunk 'em, Got drunk.
I am sure that when Ray Charles boycotted Georgia and Motown fought to get their music on the radio…that is what they envisioned. Shawty getting’ dranks. People, don’t support stupidity; T-Pain sucks. He is like Keith Sweat with half the talent. And you KNOW how I feel about Keith Sweat.
8. In case you didn’t know, I like Keith Sweat:
Old school, fishes!
9. As much as I complain about not liking my jobs, I sure as hell missed going to work. It's good to be back, Mr. Kot-ter!
10. Superbad: MOVIE OF THE FUCKING YEAR!
I am McLoven. This will be the 2007 “Accepted”.
And lastly…
11. Jessica Alba has the herpes. That’s what she gets for BREAKING MY HEART YOU WHORE! We had something special, woman! I hung outside your windows and filmed you and you had me arrested. That’s love! Then you had to get a fucking restraining order. Look who is laughing now. Not me, I miss my baby boo.
Well, that is all for now. Have some things to do before suppe time. All about “Superbad” on Friday. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out.
1. It is hot as FUCK outside. Seriously, there is no need for this. I want to say Al Gore’s boring ass was right, but I am NOT going to do that.
2. Codename: Cleaner may just be the worst movie ever made. If it wasn’t for Lucy Liu's fine ass I would be killing Cedric the Entertainer as you read this. That woman is DAMN FINE.
3. The dubbed voices in anime suck ASS. I am watching some "Tenjho Tenge" (Everyone spells it there own way it looks like) while I do my laundry and the voices make me want to bite a kitten in anger. It isnt even like the show itself was any damn good, at LEAST try to make the voices not suck. Between Bleach, Naruto and Highlander: The Anime (Which kicks ASS. I was pleasantly surprised) I am giving up on all attempts to do voice-over work. If “Death Note” and “Darker Than Black” suck I will snap. I swear it.
4. Preseason football is boring. Anyone tell me that the Titans/Redskins game had ANY REDEEMING QUALITY aside it ended. If you say it did you are a moron. The NFL is about 18 games from September to January and that is all that matters. Even those are fixed. Fuck Peyton Manning.
5. “Hanazakari no Kimitachi e” rules all. The manga was pretty damn good and the j-drama is rather entertaining. Oh, and Hirokita Maki is FUCKING HAWT:
Hell yeah. She is quite the nice. She was in Otaku Densha too, which makes her my baby boo because that was the greatest show in history. Like my life in the form of a Japanese man….except he had cooler Gundams and his woman didn’t have anything against him being an otaku. That will sadly get you shot in my hood. Sentai equals street warfare. Enough of that, here is some Hana Kimi!
Now that is good TV. We have 20 years of “The Real World” but no shows like this? It’s why this country has remakes of remakes.
6. Women have a REEEEEEAL ego issue. I know I have a high level of confidence (As I have been told by women it is bordering on conceit and megalomania) but I am…what’s the word…realistic. It seems that every woman, no matter how unattractive or devoid of common sense and personality, believes they are the shit and all men want them. And if you DON’T want said woman, there is something wrong with YOU because she is hotter than two lions fucking in the savannah. Well, the truth is you aren’t all that. I am wondering why you left the house looking like a reject from 50 Cent’s “I Get Money” video and expecting to be respected or viewed as anything but a whore. As a man, I can’t say “Oh no you didn’t” without sounding gay. It’s a conundrum. There is nothing wrong with confidence. There is something TOTALLY wrong with delusion.
7. Women don’t know good music. I have been to Abingdon Boys School isn’t any good because it is in Japanese but women will listen to T-Pain like he is fucking Marvin Gaye. I am saying this one more time: T-Pain sucks. These are NOT LYRICS:
Oooo she made us drinks, to drink
We drunk 'em, Got drunk.
I am sure that when Ray Charles boycotted Georgia and Motown fought to get their music on the radio…that is what they envisioned. Shawty getting’ dranks. People, don’t support stupidity; T-Pain sucks. He is like Keith Sweat with half the talent. And you KNOW how I feel about Keith Sweat.
8. In case you didn’t know, I like Keith Sweat:
Old school, fishes!
9. As much as I complain about not liking my jobs, I sure as hell missed going to work. It's good to be back, Mr. Kot-ter!
10. Superbad: MOVIE OF THE FUCKING YEAR!
I am McLoven. This will be the 2007 “Accepted”.
And lastly…
11. Jessica Alba has the herpes. That’s what she gets for BREAKING MY HEART YOU WHORE! We had something special, woman! I hung outside your windows and filmed you and you had me arrested. That’s love! Then you had to get a fucking restraining order. Look who is laughing now. Not me, I miss my baby boo.
Well, that is all for now. Have some things to do before suppe time. All about “Superbad” on Friday. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out.
Friday, August 10, 2007
I Am Changing My Name To Sweet Jones Jr.
ITS FRIDAY, BITCHES! And you know what that means…
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
Lets get started with a collabo video with my lady love…
20. Sowelu, EXILE & DOBERMAN INC – 24 Karat (New Entry)
My dear Sowelu….you have returned to me. And you bought EXILE with you? Uh…well the Deuce is a one wang party if you get my drift. Anyway, this is the first time Sowelu has been on the Countdown and the same with EXILE. That is shocking because I LOVE “Lovers Again”. That was my song for about a month. If you excuse me, I am going to watch Sowelu shake again. Niiiiiiiiiiiiice.
19. Abingdon Boys School – Howling (Last Week #15, One week at #1)
Okay, that’s it. WHERE IN THE FUCK IS THE ABINGDON BOYS SCHOOL ALBUM?! I have waited long enough, I need my fucking rock! Through playing around with ya’ll.
18. Nelly Furtado – Do It (New Entry)
Well it is about time. I have waited for a video for this song for about…seven or eight months. Needless to say I am excited as anyone. Now give me some new Yuna Ito and I may have the greatest year ever. Sowelu, Nelly Furtado and Yuna Ito at the same time…now THAT’S big pimpin.
17. Chamillionare – Hip Hop Police (Last Week #19)
So this video is so telling that it hurts inside. After Teq’s release party I was surprised to see all the police outside of SoDo, which is a good three blocks south of the “real downtown” if you can call it that. Hateration, peeps. Hateration. Word is Chamillionare didn’t curse or say the n-word on his album. I want to hear that. It must be like seven minutes total.
16. T.I. – Big Things Poppin’ (Last Week #11, Plunge of the Week)
Despite having arguably the biggest album released in 2007, his video takes a HUGE fall from #11 to #16. Where in the hell is a new video? There are better songs on the album to give to us as a single. Get to crackin!
15. FLOW - Answer (Last Week #16)
FLOW moves up a modest spot this week to #15. Anyone know if this is from anything (anime, j-drama, movie OST) or is it just a single? Just curious, their last three singles came from something and I wondered if this was the same. Great stuff.
14. UVERworld - Shaka Beach~Laka Laka La~ (Last Week #17)
Well DUH! Just got the single today (I try to buy all the UVERworld stuff because it’s the FUCKING ‘WORLD!) and I was not disappointed. Nowhere near “SHAMROCK” but few songs ever will be. I want an album by November. Or at least a mini-album a la Bennie K. Speaking of foxy ladies…
13. Foxxi MisQ feat Zeebra – Luxury Ride (Last Week #9)
…The foxy ladies of Foxxi MisQ fall four spots and out of the Top 10. Look out now, but Tenjo Chiki has joined the groups trying to knock Hinoi Team off their perch as the j-pop divas in my heart. And they are legal, so it’s the best of all worlds! Bite me, in Japan I likes them too old. Marinate on that.
12. Gym Class Heroes – Clothes Off (Last Week #14)
Slowly but surely, Gym Class Heroes is moving toward the Top 10 by moving two spots this week. Now is this on their old album or new album? I don’t know which one to cop (I hate “Cupid’s Chokehold” so that album isnt getting bought) and I really want the right one. Little help?
11. John Legend – Stereo (Last Week #13)
Another day, another John Legend video. He is one step away from tying UVERworld with four Top 10 videos (right now he is tied with a glut of others with three) and could reach the elusive FOURTH #1. Look out, UVERworld is only three spots back!
10. Yui – My Generation (Last Week #5, Plunge of the Week)
BOOOOOO! I needs me some Yui RIGHT NOW! I just downloaded her latest single (From the radio so it is not the best quality but Yui is Yui) and I think I likes it a lot. Maybe a little more than “My Generation.” Not as kick ass as “Rolling Star” and a little better than CHE.R.RY because of personal reasons so lets hope for a video soon!
9. Kanye West feat. Daft Punk – Stronger (Last Week #12)
Okay, this song has officially grown on me. After hearing some of the pre-release of “Graduation” all I can say is that I am looking forward to this album. Even moreso than I that “College Dropout” and I was ALL OVER that album. This video also gets a groove on you, seeing as it isnt like every other video out there.
8. AI – Brand New Day (Last Week # 10)
Slowly but surely, AI moves up another two spots and slow makes her way toward the Top 5. You know, hers was the only performance I really enjoyed during the Live Earth concert last month. Well, aside from Shakira’s peep show I mean. I really want to see AI live, that would kick ass.
7. Gackt – RETURNER ~Yami no Shuuen~ (Last Week #6)
NOOOOO! The hotness of Gackt was too much for the Top 5 to handle! Gackt falls a spot this week to #7 and this is not a reflection on this video. It is a reflection of the rest because this month is kicking the ass on the video front. Unfortunatly, someone had to suffer in the rotation and it was Gackt.
6. Abingdon Boys School – Nephilim (Last Week #8)
Abingdon Boys School moves two steps closer to their second Top Five video. I am STILL WAITING for an album and I am getting very impatient about it. If any of the album is as good as “Howling” they have a fan for life.
5. Hearts Grow - Mimawari (Last Week #7)
W00T! Hearts Grow makes their way to the Top Five with my new ringtone! Hells yeah, as soon as I figure out how to send them to non-Verizon customers I will get some J-Pop ringtones out to the peeps that want them. Hey, I am a giver.
4. Foxxi MisQ feat. Miss Monday – Party Booty Shake (Last Week #2)
Once again, Foxxi MisQ falls a tad bit short from the #1 spot after peaking last week at #2. Can I just say that with Tenjo Chiki having a new video (and scantily clad, I might add) we may have a little competition for the J-Pop Princesses! When Korean and Japanese women sing and dance, the people win. We are down to three…
3. L`Arc~en~Ciel – Seventh Heaven (Last Week #1, One week at #1)
After one week on top, Hyde and the boys fall two spots but stay in the Top Three! It was a long ride and they finally got their due. L’Arc~en~Ciel is a classic band that deserves all the accolades that come to them. For the non-fans, check them out and for the fans get ready for (hopefully) a new album soon!
2. Common – The People (Last Week #4)
Hip hop in effect! Common is one step away from the pinnacle! If you havent picked up “Finding Forever” yet you may want to get off your ass and cop that. It is very good stuff and has something for hip hop and non-hip hop fans alike. Not only that, this video is simple in its brilliance and there isnt a spinning necklace or a shaking ass to be seen. Sometimes hip hop can be magic. Well, we are at #1…
1. UGK feat. Outkast – International Players Anthem (Last Week #3, Five total weeks at #1)
And look who is back! After a one week hiatus, UGK and Outkast take back the number one spot for a record tying FIFTH WEEK by pulling an UVERworld! Not since John Legend’s “Save Room” has a video displayed such dominance. L’Arc~en~Ciel got their crown for a week, but you cant keep the kings down! I just heard the UGK album (once its in stores I'm gonna grab it) and all I can say is...pretty damn good. Suprising to say the least. Sweet Jones!
The Countdown ends for this week. Tune in next Friday to see if UGK and Outkast can make it SIX WEEKS at #1! Or will Common take his people and rest at #1? Or does Hyde and crew have another run left in them? Tune in next week to find out!
That is all for this Friday. I am off to see Rush Hour 3 and get ready for my first week of work on Monday. If anyone wants to roll (that lives in the area, I mean) let me know. Until next time, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out.
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
Lets get started with a collabo video with my lady love…
20. Sowelu, EXILE & DOBERMAN INC – 24 Karat (New Entry)
My dear Sowelu….you have returned to me. And you bought EXILE with you? Uh…well the Deuce is a one wang party if you get my drift. Anyway, this is the first time Sowelu has been on the Countdown and the same with EXILE. That is shocking because I LOVE “Lovers Again”. That was my song for about a month. If you excuse me, I am going to watch Sowelu shake again. Niiiiiiiiiiiiice.
19. Abingdon Boys School – Howling (Last Week #15, One week at #1)
Okay, that’s it. WHERE IN THE FUCK IS THE ABINGDON BOYS SCHOOL ALBUM?! I have waited long enough, I need my fucking rock! Through playing around with ya’ll.
18. Nelly Furtado – Do It (New Entry)
Well it is about time. I have waited for a video for this song for about…seven or eight months. Needless to say I am excited as anyone. Now give me some new Yuna Ito and I may have the greatest year ever. Sowelu, Nelly Furtado and Yuna Ito at the same time…now THAT’S big pimpin.
17. Chamillionare – Hip Hop Police (Last Week #19)
So this video is so telling that it hurts inside. After Teq’s release party I was surprised to see all the police outside of SoDo, which is a good three blocks south of the “real downtown” if you can call it that. Hateration, peeps. Hateration. Word is Chamillionare didn’t curse or say the n-word on his album. I want to hear that. It must be like seven minutes total.
16. T.I. – Big Things Poppin’ (Last Week #11, Plunge of the Week)
Despite having arguably the biggest album released in 2007, his video takes a HUGE fall from #11 to #16. Where in the hell is a new video? There are better songs on the album to give to us as a single. Get to crackin!
15. FLOW - Answer (Last Week #16)
FLOW moves up a modest spot this week to #15. Anyone know if this is from anything (anime, j-drama, movie OST) or is it just a single? Just curious, their last three singles came from something and I wondered if this was the same. Great stuff.
14. UVERworld - Shaka Beach~Laka Laka La~ (Last Week #17)
Well DUH! Just got the single today (I try to buy all the UVERworld stuff because it’s the FUCKING ‘WORLD!) and I was not disappointed. Nowhere near “SHAMROCK” but few songs ever will be. I want an album by November. Or at least a mini-album a la Bennie K. Speaking of foxy ladies…
13. Foxxi MisQ feat Zeebra – Luxury Ride (Last Week #9)
…The foxy ladies of Foxxi MisQ fall four spots and out of the Top 10. Look out now, but Tenjo Chiki has joined the groups trying to knock Hinoi Team off their perch as the j-pop divas in my heart. And they are legal, so it’s the best of all worlds! Bite me, in Japan I likes them too old. Marinate on that.
12. Gym Class Heroes – Clothes Off (Last Week #14)
Slowly but surely, Gym Class Heroes is moving toward the Top 10 by moving two spots this week. Now is this on their old album or new album? I don’t know which one to cop (I hate “Cupid’s Chokehold” so that album isnt getting bought) and I really want the right one. Little help?
11. John Legend – Stereo (Last Week #13)
Another day, another John Legend video. He is one step away from tying UVERworld with four Top 10 videos (right now he is tied with a glut of others with three) and could reach the elusive FOURTH #1. Look out, UVERworld is only three spots back!
10. Yui – My Generation (Last Week #5, Plunge of the Week)
BOOOOOO! I needs me some Yui RIGHT NOW! I just downloaded her latest single (From the radio so it is not the best quality but Yui is Yui) and I think I likes it a lot. Maybe a little more than “My Generation.” Not as kick ass as “Rolling Star” and a little better than CHE.R.RY because of personal reasons so lets hope for a video soon!
9. Kanye West feat. Daft Punk – Stronger (Last Week #12)
Okay, this song has officially grown on me. After hearing some of the pre-release of “Graduation” all I can say is that I am looking forward to this album. Even moreso than I that “College Dropout” and I was ALL OVER that album. This video also gets a groove on you, seeing as it isnt like every other video out there.
8. AI – Brand New Day (Last Week # 10)
Slowly but surely, AI moves up another two spots and slow makes her way toward the Top 5. You know, hers was the only performance I really enjoyed during the Live Earth concert last month. Well, aside from Shakira’s peep show I mean. I really want to see AI live, that would kick ass.
7. Gackt – RETURNER ~Yami no Shuuen~ (Last Week #6)
NOOOOO! The hotness of Gackt was too much for the Top 5 to handle! Gackt falls a spot this week to #7 and this is not a reflection on this video. It is a reflection of the rest because this month is kicking the ass on the video front. Unfortunatly, someone had to suffer in the rotation and it was Gackt.
6. Abingdon Boys School – Nephilim (Last Week #8)
Abingdon Boys School moves two steps closer to their second Top Five video. I am STILL WAITING for an album and I am getting very impatient about it. If any of the album is as good as “Howling” they have a fan for life.
5. Hearts Grow - Mimawari (Last Week #7)
W00T! Hearts Grow makes their way to the Top Five with my new ringtone! Hells yeah, as soon as I figure out how to send them to non-Verizon customers I will get some J-Pop ringtones out to the peeps that want them. Hey, I am a giver.
4. Foxxi MisQ feat. Miss Monday – Party Booty Shake (Last Week #2)
Once again, Foxxi MisQ falls a tad bit short from the #1 spot after peaking last week at #2. Can I just say that with Tenjo Chiki having a new video (and scantily clad, I might add) we may have a little competition for the J-Pop Princesses! When Korean and Japanese women sing and dance, the people win. We are down to three…
3. L`Arc~en~Ciel – Seventh Heaven (Last Week #1, One week at #1)
After one week on top, Hyde and the boys fall two spots but stay in the Top Three! It was a long ride and they finally got their due. L’Arc~en~Ciel is a classic band that deserves all the accolades that come to them. For the non-fans, check them out and for the fans get ready for (hopefully) a new album soon!
2. Common – The People (Last Week #4)
Hip hop in effect! Common is one step away from the pinnacle! If you havent picked up “Finding Forever” yet you may want to get off your ass and cop that. It is very good stuff and has something for hip hop and non-hip hop fans alike. Not only that, this video is simple in its brilliance and there isnt a spinning necklace or a shaking ass to be seen. Sometimes hip hop can be magic. Well, we are at #1…
1. UGK feat. Outkast – International Players Anthem (Last Week #3, Five total weeks at #1)
And look who is back! After a one week hiatus, UGK and Outkast take back the number one spot for a record tying FIFTH WEEK by pulling an UVERworld! Not since John Legend’s “Save Room” has a video displayed such dominance. L’Arc~en~Ciel got their crown for a week, but you cant keep the kings down! I just heard the UGK album (once its in stores I'm gonna grab it) and all I can say is...pretty damn good. Suprising to say the least. Sweet Jones!
The Countdown ends for this week. Tune in next Friday to see if UGK and Outkast can make it SIX WEEKS at #1! Or will Common take his people and rest at #1? Or does Hyde and crew have another run left in them? Tune in next week to find out!
That is all for this Friday. I am off to see Rush Hour 3 and get ready for my first week of work on Monday. If anyone wants to roll (that lives in the area, I mean) let me know. Until next time, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
The Ultimate Dilemma...
What is up, people! I am back after a small hiatus because….well alcohol is a hell of a drug. Yes, my life is teh suck and I needed to bitch. Ask Kandice, I am a man of extremes. Nothing sucks more than not having a hangover when you expect it. Kind of a letdown. But hey, sa da tay.
So yesterday I said I had some Earth-shattering news that would alter reality like the Infinity Gauntlet. A free Arizona Iced Tea to anyone that gets that reference. Now as you know, I loves me the “Footloose”. Aside from Ferris and Breakin, it is one of my favorite 80’s movies EVER. Second best soundtrack of the 80’s (Behind “Purple Rain” which is the greatest soundtrack composed by man…or Prince) and an all-round good time. Oh, and Kevin Bacon was frickin awesome in that movie.
As you also know, I think Zac Efron is a cutie patootie. Having seen High School Musical no less that 20 times (Hell, I was desperate for musicals and found a gem) I must say that Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Tisdale and Zac Efron made my mouth wah-dah! Then there was Hairspray which was just….hells yeah.
Which brings me to the quandray I am in right now. I just found out yesterday that Zac Efron will be playing Ren McCormack in the remake of Footloose. You heard me.
ZAC EFRON WILL BE IN THE REMAKE OF FOOTLOOSE!!
Now this is where my confusion begins. I am TOTALLY TORN over this! On one hand, it is Zac Efron remaking Footloose. Which sounds like the greatest idea ever. It would be like The Rock remaking Big Trouble in Little China….oh god I just came a little. You saw High School Musical and Hairspray; Zac is a dancing machine! And oh so DREAMY! But them you have to look at it the other way…
ZAC EFRON WILL BE IN THE REMAKE OF FOOTLOOSE!!
How dare they remake Footloose?! The movie is genius! Cinematic and musical genius! Would they remake Goonies?! Would they remake Short Circuit?! Footloose is to be left alone! But at the same time…it is Zac Efron and he is my bishie. But its FOOTLOOSE! You see my dilemma.
So which reigns supreme? The hotness of Zac Efron or the awesomeness of Footloose? You tell me…I don’t know what to think about this. I think I may have to have a marathon watching of Footloose and High School Musical to help me make up my mind! To the DVD emporium!
That is all for now. Countdown tomorrow and maybe something on Sunday before I go back into the workforce. I leave you with the movie that proves that God loves to tempt me: Bring It On 3 (All or Nothing)
Mmm…I cannot wait until August 21st. Then she goes in the box. Oh, and one last thing. Tenjo Chiki is fucking HAWT:
If Hinoi Team ends up ANYTHING like these ladies...I will be the happiest man in America. Hells yeah. Stay up peeps.
Chachi Out.
So yesterday I said I had some Earth-shattering news that would alter reality like the Infinity Gauntlet. A free Arizona Iced Tea to anyone that gets that reference. Now as you know, I loves me the “Footloose”. Aside from Ferris and Breakin, it is one of my favorite 80’s movies EVER. Second best soundtrack of the 80’s (Behind “Purple Rain” which is the greatest soundtrack composed by man…or Prince) and an all-round good time. Oh, and Kevin Bacon was frickin awesome in that movie.
As you also know, I think Zac Efron is a cutie patootie. Having seen High School Musical no less that 20 times (Hell, I was desperate for musicals and found a gem) I must say that Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Tisdale and Zac Efron made my mouth wah-dah! Then there was Hairspray which was just….hells yeah.
Which brings me to the quandray I am in right now. I just found out yesterday that Zac Efron will be playing Ren McCormack in the remake of Footloose. You heard me.
ZAC EFRON WILL BE IN THE REMAKE OF FOOTLOOSE!!
Now this is where my confusion begins. I am TOTALLY TORN over this! On one hand, it is Zac Efron remaking Footloose. Which sounds like the greatest idea ever. It would be like The Rock remaking Big Trouble in Little China….oh god I just came a little. You saw High School Musical and Hairspray; Zac is a dancing machine! And oh so DREAMY! But them you have to look at it the other way…
ZAC EFRON WILL BE IN THE REMAKE OF FOOTLOOSE!!
How dare they remake Footloose?! The movie is genius! Cinematic and musical genius! Would they remake Goonies?! Would they remake Short Circuit?! Footloose is to be left alone! But at the same time…it is Zac Efron and he is my bishie. But its FOOTLOOSE! You see my dilemma.
So which reigns supreme? The hotness of Zac Efron or the awesomeness of Footloose? You tell me…I don’t know what to think about this. I think I may have to have a marathon watching of Footloose and High School Musical to help me make up my mind! To the DVD emporium!
That is all for now. Countdown tomorrow and maybe something on Sunday before I go back into the workforce. I leave you with the movie that proves that God loves to tempt me: Bring It On 3 (All or Nothing)
Mmm…I cannot wait until August 21st. Then she goes in the box. Oh, and one last thing. Tenjo Chiki is fucking HAWT:
If Hinoi Team ends up ANYTHING like these ladies...I will be the happiest man in America. Hells yeah. Stay up peeps.
Chachi Out.
Monday, August 06, 2007
Now That's Big Pimpin.
Freeze! It’s me, fishes! After an extended absence (Damn, Tomb Raider Legends is ADDICTIVE. Better than the first five or so) I am back with a new post!
First things first: as you all know, I despise 50 Cent. There are only two people who I want dead, and those are 50 Cent and Curtis Jackson. Now I know to say I want someone dead is rather harsh. But I don’t give a fuck. This nigga has done nothing of service to anyone for the last 5 years. That man could cure cancer, find the Lindbergh baby, convict R. Kelly, capture Osama Bin Laden and help peace be declared in the Middle East and I would still want that Black bastard shot in the face. He sucks, he destroyed hip hop and he is breeding ignorance. Any person (Black person especially) that defends that fucktard should be shot in the face, too. I am sick and tired of that Black asshole trying to pass off shitty rap, utter and complete ignorance and a disregard of…well common sense into a lifestyle. You know what really pisses me off? NIGGAS LIVE AND DIE BY THE WORDS OF THIS FUCKER! I was watching a Common video last Thursday before my interview and all was okay. And then something came on that made me really just want to declare a Holocaust on Blacks. To my one Jew reader I apologize, but I was THAT PISSED OFF. Why in the fuck are niggas in love with this trifling fucking song “I Get Money?!”:
Now for all the people out there that says rap isn’t dead….it SO is. This song has just raped, tea bagged, pissed on and bukkaked the body of rap. After G-Unit performed a little DVDA on the corpse because that’s how them fuckers roll. If you are a fan of this song I hope you die. Seriously, that is “real talk”. This song has no fucking redeeming quality whatsoever and if you think that this is “real hip hop” then you are a real “fucking dipshit” and your death would be a benefit to REAL FANS of rap/hip hop because that would mean one less 50 Cent fan and the fewer of those that live the better for the rest of us normal humans.
People wonder why I get so mad about this. The most even parallel I can think of is someone that has been a baseball fan for years that stopped watching during the homerun barrage of the mid to late 90’s and wondered how people could watch when the game was being disgraced. I have loved rap for as long as I can remember. Hell, I used to watch “Krush Groove”, “Beat Street” and…”Breakin” every day. My catalog of cassettes (yes, cassettes) was comprised of Eric B. and Rakim, Three Times Dope, Kid ‘n’ Play (say what you want, you LOVED “House Party”), BDP and others. Don’t even get me STARTED on the awesomeness that was Public Enemy and NWA. Even though NWA was offensive as all hell, at the core of their rap was activism (police brutality, gang violence, etc.) that went over many people heads because people are stupid. Then, all hell broke loose with the East Coast/West Coast thing (which sucked because there were only ten good rappers out and of that ten only maybe four were involved. Chino XL? Tim Dawg? Not exactly mega-stars) because once again niggas ruin shit for everyone. I could care less what anyone says, hip hop was in critical condition when 2Pac died, the deathbed when Biggie died (I will admit, I wasn’t a major fan of the man but talent is talent) and officially hit flatline with Lauryn Hill winning all those Grammys. That day created a schism in rap that created the bastardized amalgam of “hip hop” we have today which is really just shitty R&B with 16 shittier bars on it. Oh, and Ne-yo singing the hook because any gay song can only get gayer with Ne-yo on it. To top it off, 50 Cent is considered rap which just…violates the grave of rap more than anything.
Which brings me to the recent world which is even WORSE because whenever someone tries something different from the “hip hop norm” it is branded as “gay” or “not real”. Yes…platinum chains are “real hip hop” but embracing the people is not? Fuck you. When Beans called Kanye West “gay” I thought to myself “What gives you the right?” Think about it, nothing in the world is gayer than hip hop. Add it up:
1. Long white shirts, although this has changed to any color now. (Might as well just wear a dress)
2. An over abundance of jewelry (Even thugs need to look pretty)
3. Over-stylized sunglasses (That’s hot…and also gay)
4. An entourage of 5 or more men usually dressed the same (Now THAT’S gang-banging!)
5. Bragging of sexual accomplishments (A blatant cover up for being “teh gay”)
6. Well managed hair (Because even a gangsta is worth it!)
7. Bravado and an overall panache that rivals Liberace (Yeah, now THAT is big pimpin. BIG GAY pimpin)
8. Fur. And lots of it! (I don’t care, fur is queer)
So as hardcore and macho hip hop has become….all these dudes are running around with no shirt on talking about love, money, style and cars. Sounds pretty fruity to me if I say so. And that is coming from someone who has been called gay since middle school so I have experience in traits. The fact is that hip hop is a shell of its former self and I know that the commercialization and the macoddity-ization (A little Dr. Tran humor…) of the genre plays a huge part in it. That has been used to defend the misogyny, the staleness and the overall lack of variety in hip hop for a few years. That is why songs like “I Get Money” are loved because:
1. Niggas are fucking stupid
2. That is sadly all there is.
3. Well, not all there is but all they will PLAY.
4. It is easier to be the norm than to be different.
Wow…hip hop has become high school. Back to my initial argument about 50 Cent needing to die. He is releasing his album on September 11th (Or as I call it the “Tower Crashing Party Time”….still too soon? Like I give a fuck. If Eminem can put a lyric about 9/11 in a DISS SONG then I can make a joke about it) along with Kanye West. As far as I am concerned this is a big day in terms of seeing how worthless people are. Now I am not calling Kanye the second coming of 2Pac in any way shape or form. However, when he keeps his fool mouth shut and makes music he is actually one of the Top 5 out hands down. However, when Fiddy keeps his mouth shut you can’t see his super-sized Master Shake teeth which helps us all out. With 50 Cent you are guaranteed to get the same shit we have heard over the last 4 years:
- Booty
- Bitches
- Bling
- Bullets
- Bentleys (Cars, but I am doing some quasi-alliteration here. Like it so far?)
- Braggadocio
- And…did I mention Booty?
Hell, here is a verse of “I Get Money”:
You can call this my new shit
but it aint new tho
I got rid of my old bitch (Bitches! Three lines in! I am so a genius!)
now I got new hoes (Booty AND bitches? Fiddy is a fucking renaissance man!)
first is was the Benzo
now im in the Enzo, Ferrari, im sorry! (Bentley…err….cars!)
I keep blowin up! (Oh!!)
they call me the cake man (Bling! Well, money but you get the idea)
the strawberry shake man
I spray the AR
make your whole click breakdance
backspin, headspin, flatline, ya dead then
9 shells, Mac-10, (Bullets! Hmm…I sense a pattern)
"who wan get it crackin?!"
I was young, I couldn’t do good
now I cant do bad (Braggadocio! I am ON IT!)
I ride, wreck the new Jag (Mo cars, no originality!)
I just buy the new Jag (Cars again! Nothing like repetition!)
now nigga why you mad?
Oh you can’t do that
im so forgetful, they callin me cocky
I come up out the jeweler, they callin me Rocky
it’s the ice on my neck man, the wrist and my left hand
bling like BLAOW
you like my style
ha ha im headin to the bank right now
Aaaaaaaaaaand that sucked. People think this song is good?! God…the only redeeming quality about that verse is that it ends. Not to say that Kanye is any different but at least he has variety. This is from “Can’t Tell Me Nothing”:
I had a dream I can buy my way to heaven
When I awoke, I spent that on a necklace. (Bling! It never stops!)
I told God I'd be back in a second,
Man It's so hard not to act reckless.
To whom much is given much is tested.
Get arrested, got some chili, get the message.
I feel the pressure, under more scrutiny,
And What I do? Act more stupidly.
Bought More Jewelry, More Louis V, My momma couldn't get through to me.
The drama, people suing me,
I'm on T.V. talking like it's just you and me.
I'm just saying how I feel man,
I ain't one of the Cosby’s I ain’t go to Hill man
I guess the money should've changed him,
I guess I should've forgot where I came From.
First off, it is almost half the length of Fiddy’s verse yet more is said in that than his first album. Also, Kanye has gotten progressively better and his albums seem to have a theme:
College Dropout – Hunger, the want for more for himself and others.
Late Registration – I got success…I’M THE SHIZNIT! Ballin out of control!
Graduation – Oy vey…I am kind of a prick. I need to level my head before I lose my mind.
Now put that in comparison to 50 Cent:
Get Rich Or Die Tryin’ – I GOT SHOT!
The Massacre (How telling, it’s what he did to hip hop) – I GOT MONEY AND I GOT SHOT!
Curtis (Original. Nice theme fucky) – I GOT MO MONEY AND….I GOT SHOT!
With albums from Common, Kanye West, Outkast (rumored) and Talib Kweli (WHAT THE FUCK, MAN! WHERE IS IT?!) this looked like a great year for hip hop to return to…well, not sucking taint. Now with albums from 50 Cent and Nelly coming not only will it suck taint, it will suck the balls as well. Well, better luck next year. Oh, and 50 still needs to fucking die for that movie of his alone.
Well, that was my rant. I was rather pissed and had to get that out. At some point this week I will have a preview of the 2008 Chachi Awards (not until January, but it is a good halfway point to begin the debates!) so stay tuned for that.
Oh, my review of “The Borne Ultimatum”! Well…just know that if you have any kind of motion sickness this movie is NOT FOR YOU! The same problem with the second one plagued this one for a while because that cameraman has Parkinson’s or something. That camera was all over the place. This movie was how you end a non-epic trilogy. Unlike “Return of the King” which was WAY TOO LONG and “Matrix Revelations” which was….wait what in the fuck happened in that movie?! Anyway, it was short, the action sequences were very good (although fewer and a hell of a lot shakier) and Julia Stiles left a rather sizable plot hole but it was pretty good. Nowhere near “Die Hard” in the non-epic action but up there. Overall, it is what it is. An end of summer minor blockbuster that pleases if you can focus your eyes. Chachi gives The Borne Ultimatum….
8 Out Of 10 Stars!
(The camera work will turn off some and annoy others. Past that is a great movie that shows other trilogies how to create some but not TOTAL closure with a series. The performances were surprisingly good as a whole, but no one stood out which was good and bad. All parts put together, a pleasant end of summer surprise.)
Whooo….that was LOOOOONG. I’m going to get some grub and hit the streets. I will be back before Friday. Until then, stay up peeps!
Oh, and Sowelu…I love you:
That noise you just heard was my seventh orgasm because of that video. Damn, Sowelu! Damn you and your tiny Asian hotness!
Chachi Out.
Friday, August 03, 2007
We Have A New King!
Yo yo yo! What it is, bitches?! I am back and it is totally Friday! I havent been paid yet (something that is TOTALLY pissing me off being Friday) but it’s no biggie. Besides, its time for the Friday staple!
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
Let’s get this started!
20. Daddy Yankee feat. Fergie – Impacto (Last Week #17)
It looks like after a short run in the Top 10, Daddy Yankee and Fergie are on their way off the Countdown. Not a bad showing for his first time out, and hopefully a new video will be coming from him pretty soon.
19. Chamillionare – Hip Hop Police (New Entry)
Wow…hip hop actually isnt SUCKING ASS in 2007! Despite the best efforts of 50 Cent (“I Get Money” may have officially ended the Civil Rights Movement. I feel for him…maybe a beating Rodney King style is nessecary) Chamillionare actually has given us a good video with a great single. Cops do target rappers and sometimes rightfully so. However, Young MC got pulled over yesterday with a gun but he lives in the woods and has to hunt his own food. Because he is broke. Welcome to the Countdown, Chamillionare!
18. Maroon 5 – Makes Me Wonder (Last Week #14, Three weeks at #1)
NEW VIDEO FROM MAROON 5! You know it is going to be on here as soon as I get a good look at it. Until then, this former #1 video looks on its way out after a pretty dominant performance.
17. UVERworld - Shaka Beach~Laka Laka La~ (Last Week #20)
The World is back! This video has steadly been growing on me (Probably moreso next week when I lose my mind for not having anything to really do) especially with the suckitude that is American videos lately. I’m sorry, I am still pissed off about “I Get Money”. You see, shit like this is why Barack Obama will never be President. Deep down, white people fear spinning rims on the Presidental limo and video hoes on Air Force One. And after shit like this, rightfully so.
16. FLOW - Answer (Last Week #18)
FLOW moves up another two spots this week with their latest video. They have been gone for a minute and with rock…sucking it dry, it’s good to have something to listen to and watch.
15. Abingdon Boys School – Howling (Last Week #12, One week at #1)
I could care less what anyone says, this is one of the most kick ass videos of the year. If you like ANY kind of guitar and you arent down for this then you are a communist. There, I said it.
14. Gym Class Heroes – Clothes Off (Last Week #15)
The summertime jam moves up one spot this week. Despite the annoyance I had with “Cupid’s Chokehold” I am really liking this video. Not only that, I have said it once and I will say it again that nothing beats a good 80’s sample.
13. John Legend – Stereo (Last Week #16)
Well, well, well. It looks like ANOTHER John Legend video is creeping into the Top 10. So far he has the first #1 of 2007 (“Heaven”) and arguably the biggest video of the year (“P.D.A. [We Just Don’t Care]” which was #1 for a month) so he could be looking at two straight years as the winner of Chachi’s Artist of the Year. Now THAT’S big pimpin’.
12. Kanye West feat. Daft Punk – Stronger (Last Week #13)
You know, Kanye is looking at his third Top Ten video this year with no album until September. Not too shabby. I hear this video is on ALL THE TIME but since I avoid MTV I rarely see these videos (I mainly download them) so I havent gotten annoyed by this one yet.
11. T.I. – Big Things Poppin’ (Last Week #9)
Big things falling! T.I. falls another two spots this week and out of the Top 10! Supposedly there is a new video soon (Hope it isnt “Touchdown” because that song is rather sub-par) so I will keep the peeps posted. Until then, onto the Top 10!
10. AI – Brand New Day (Last Week # 11)
We are into the Top 10 and this is a pleasant surprise. AI is back in the Top 10 for the first time in over a year! Can she post her second #1 video? We will have to see! I LOVE this song now (Finally got the single. Goooooood stuff) and I am totally looking forward to her album.
9. Foxxi MisQ feat Zeebra – Luxury Ride (Last Week #5, Plunge of the Week)
From the runner up spot to the bottom of the top. Foxxi MisQ falls a big four spots this week out of the Top 5. Despite the Spice Girls look to the group, “Gloss” is actually a pretty good album. I can’t put them up there with En Vogue, Brownstown and Wilson Phillips (HOOOOOLD ON!) but they run circles around their current competition (Danity Kane? Puh-lease!).
8. Abingdon Boys School – Nephilim (Last Week #10)
Yeah, you knew they would be up here. What can I say, kilts rock harder than any other outfit out there. This video is good stuff.
7. Hearts Grow - Mimawari (Last Week #8)
Say hello to the new ringtone! Yes, I am straight.I don’t care, I like this video. Now I havent watched the new “Powerpuff Girls Z” anime (Not really new, but I still havent seen it) but the show has some bad ass themes (Nana Kitade, Hearts Grow, etc.) so I may check it out. Or not, I didn’t really like the original.
6. Gackt – RETURNER ~Yami no Shuuen~ (Last Week #7)
Is it hot in here? Or is it just Gackt?Oh yeah….it’s Gackt. One step away from the Top Five, Gackt gives us an epic video. This song feels like something straight out of “300” and you KNOW how I feel about that movie. Just too hot to concentrate.
5. Yui – My Generation (Last Week #3) [Four Weeks at #2]
After a full month at #2, Yui falls two more spot this week. Havent heard about anything new from Yui on the single or video front which is saddening because I loves me some Yui…so much.
4. Common – The People (Last Week #7)
Common makes the biggest leap in the Top 10, making a bid for the top spot! “Finding Forever” is in stores now so PICK IT UP! It is pure hip hop goodness no matter what magazines say. Try something that isnt “Bitches, Bling and Ballin” and something is wrong with you in their eyes. Screw them, Common is good stuff. Now, to the surprise of the week…
3. UGK feat. Outkast – International Players Anthem (Last Week #1, Four weeks at #1)
After a month at the top, UGK could not break the records of John Legend and nobodyknows+ and get that fifth week. Falling to #3, this video is still bad ass and hopefully the album will be just as good. We are down to two videos and we have a new #1!
2. Foxxi MisQ feat. Miss Monday – Party Booty Shake (Last Week #4)
Foxxi MisQ has a second chance at #1! After “Luxury Ride” stalled out at #3 for two weeks (Behind the juggernaught of Yui/UGK) and fell, this video has a chance to get them the crown. This song is quite nice and the video is…REEEEAL NICE.Well, with the ladies at #2, we now know who is at #1…
1. L`Arc~en~Ciel – Seventh Heaven (Last Week #2, One week at #1)
FUCK YES! After a long and patient trip, Hyde and the boys finally take do what Yui could not: unseat the Underground Kings. L’Arc~en~Ciel has had an established career and this video is just the icing on the cake. Not that anyone reads this but at least I care. Congratulations on your first #1 video!
Well, that is all for now. Tune in next Friday to see if L’Arc~en~Ciel can hold on for a second week! Or can Foxxi MisQ shake their booties up to #1? Or can UGK take back the throne? Don’t forget about Common, Gackt and Hearts Grow! See you next Friday!
Come to SoDo’s tonight for Teq’s record release party! It’s going to be the best Negro Day ever!
Chachi Out.
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
Let’s get this started!
20. Daddy Yankee feat. Fergie – Impacto (Last Week #17)
It looks like after a short run in the Top 10, Daddy Yankee and Fergie are on their way off the Countdown. Not a bad showing for his first time out, and hopefully a new video will be coming from him pretty soon.
19. Chamillionare – Hip Hop Police (New Entry)
Wow…hip hop actually isnt SUCKING ASS in 2007! Despite the best efforts of 50 Cent (“I Get Money” may have officially ended the Civil Rights Movement. I feel for him…maybe a beating Rodney King style is nessecary) Chamillionare actually has given us a good video with a great single. Cops do target rappers and sometimes rightfully so. However, Young MC got pulled over yesterday with a gun but he lives in the woods and has to hunt his own food. Because he is broke. Welcome to the Countdown, Chamillionare!
18. Maroon 5 – Makes Me Wonder (Last Week #14, Three weeks at #1)
NEW VIDEO FROM MAROON 5! You know it is going to be on here as soon as I get a good look at it. Until then, this former #1 video looks on its way out after a pretty dominant performance.
17. UVERworld - Shaka Beach~Laka Laka La~ (Last Week #20)
The World is back! This video has steadly been growing on me (Probably moreso next week when I lose my mind for not having anything to really do) especially with the suckitude that is American videos lately. I’m sorry, I am still pissed off about “I Get Money”. You see, shit like this is why Barack Obama will never be President. Deep down, white people fear spinning rims on the Presidental limo and video hoes on Air Force One. And after shit like this, rightfully so.
16. FLOW - Answer (Last Week #18)
FLOW moves up another two spots this week with their latest video. They have been gone for a minute and with rock…sucking it dry, it’s good to have something to listen to and watch.
15. Abingdon Boys School – Howling (Last Week #12, One week at #1)
I could care less what anyone says, this is one of the most kick ass videos of the year. If you like ANY kind of guitar and you arent down for this then you are a communist. There, I said it.
14. Gym Class Heroes – Clothes Off (Last Week #15)
The summertime jam moves up one spot this week. Despite the annoyance I had with “Cupid’s Chokehold” I am really liking this video. Not only that, I have said it once and I will say it again that nothing beats a good 80’s sample.
13. John Legend – Stereo (Last Week #16)
Well, well, well. It looks like ANOTHER John Legend video is creeping into the Top 10. So far he has the first #1 of 2007 (“Heaven”) and arguably the biggest video of the year (“P.D.A. [We Just Don’t Care]” which was #1 for a month) so he could be looking at two straight years as the winner of Chachi’s Artist of the Year. Now THAT’S big pimpin’.
12. Kanye West feat. Daft Punk – Stronger (Last Week #13)
You know, Kanye is looking at his third Top Ten video this year with no album until September. Not too shabby. I hear this video is on ALL THE TIME but since I avoid MTV I rarely see these videos (I mainly download them) so I havent gotten annoyed by this one yet.
11. T.I. – Big Things Poppin’ (Last Week #9)
Big things falling! T.I. falls another two spots this week and out of the Top 10! Supposedly there is a new video soon (Hope it isnt “Touchdown” because that song is rather sub-par) so I will keep the peeps posted. Until then, onto the Top 10!
10. AI – Brand New Day (Last Week # 11)
We are into the Top 10 and this is a pleasant surprise. AI is back in the Top 10 for the first time in over a year! Can she post her second #1 video? We will have to see! I LOVE this song now (Finally got the single. Goooooood stuff) and I am totally looking forward to her album.
9. Foxxi MisQ feat Zeebra – Luxury Ride (Last Week #5, Plunge of the Week)
From the runner up spot to the bottom of the top. Foxxi MisQ falls a big four spots this week out of the Top 5. Despite the Spice Girls look to the group, “Gloss” is actually a pretty good album. I can’t put them up there with En Vogue, Brownstown and Wilson Phillips (HOOOOOLD ON!) but they run circles around their current competition (Danity Kane? Puh-lease!).
8. Abingdon Boys School – Nephilim (Last Week #10)
Yeah, you knew they would be up here. What can I say, kilts rock harder than any other outfit out there. This video is good stuff.
7. Hearts Grow - Mimawari (Last Week #8)
Say hello to the new ringtone! Yes, I am straight.I don’t care, I like this video. Now I havent watched the new “Powerpuff Girls Z” anime (Not really new, but I still havent seen it) but the show has some bad ass themes (Nana Kitade, Hearts Grow, etc.) so I may check it out. Or not, I didn’t really like the original.
6. Gackt – RETURNER ~Yami no Shuuen~ (Last Week #7)
Is it hot in here? Or is it just Gackt?Oh yeah….it’s Gackt. One step away from the Top Five, Gackt gives us an epic video. This song feels like something straight out of “300” and you KNOW how I feel about that movie. Just too hot to concentrate.
5. Yui – My Generation (Last Week #3) [Four Weeks at #2]
After a full month at #2, Yui falls two more spot this week. Havent heard about anything new from Yui on the single or video front which is saddening because I loves me some Yui…so much.
4. Common – The People (Last Week #7)
Common makes the biggest leap in the Top 10, making a bid for the top spot! “Finding Forever” is in stores now so PICK IT UP! It is pure hip hop goodness no matter what magazines say. Try something that isnt “Bitches, Bling and Ballin” and something is wrong with you in their eyes. Screw them, Common is good stuff. Now, to the surprise of the week…
3. UGK feat. Outkast – International Players Anthem (Last Week #1, Four weeks at #1)
After a month at the top, UGK could not break the records of John Legend and nobodyknows+ and get that fifth week. Falling to #3, this video is still bad ass and hopefully the album will be just as good. We are down to two videos and we have a new #1!
2. Foxxi MisQ feat. Miss Monday – Party Booty Shake (Last Week #4)
Foxxi MisQ has a second chance at #1! After “Luxury Ride” stalled out at #3 for two weeks (Behind the juggernaught of Yui/UGK) and fell, this video has a chance to get them the crown. This song is quite nice and the video is…REEEEAL NICE.Well, with the ladies at #2, we now know who is at #1…
1. L`Arc~en~Ciel – Seventh Heaven (Last Week #2, One week at #1)
FUCK YES! After a long and patient trip, Hyde and the boys finally take do what Yui could not: unseat the Underground Kings. L’Arc~en~Ciel has had an established career and this video is just the icing on the cake. Not that anyone reads this but at least I care. Congratulations on your first #1 video!
Well, that is all for now. Tune in next Friday to see if L’Arc~en~Ciel can hold on for a second week! Or can Foxxi MisQ shake their booties up to #1? Or can UGK take back the throne? Don’t forget about Common, Gackt and Hearts Grow! See you next Friday!
Come to SoDo’s tonight for Teq’s record release party! It’s going to be the best Negro Day ever!
Chachi Out.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Praise Chachi! He Has Returned!
What is up peeps?! I am back in this biz-natch and ready to drop the knowledge! It has been a minute since I posted (the Countdown last Friday was the last time I was up) and I have totally missed you guys. Oh, and a hello to Roxanne from Jpop n Kpop who should be back from vacation today! Lucky….
As some of you know, I no longer work at The Pack. I knew it was temporary but it was still rather chickenshit how it ended in a way. Eh, live and learn. I start my new job on August 14th (so next week is all goofing off and catching up on anime) barring a positive drug test (It could happen, I can’t be held accountable for all my wheelings and dealings) and I have some other interviews this week and hopefully next. So needless to say, the Chachi is at a crossroads…at twenty-six. Wow, I am like 15 years or so ahead of my mid-life crisis. Well, last weekend was the best movie weekend since last year with both "Snakes On A Plane" and "Accepted" being seen in one weekend. So today I give you a late...
MASTER CHIEF CAPTAIN CHACHI GOES HOLLYWOOD: ULTIMATE WEEKEND EDITION!
This Week: The Simpsons Movie & Hairspray!
So a quick wrap up of last weekend. For those of you that have not seen The Simpsons Movie…go see it! It is that damn funny. They got the original writers back so gone is the “meh” humor of the last six seasons or so and back is the side-splitting hilarity of the seasons of our youth. The movie was funny the whole way through and in an odd (but good) move, they focused only on the Simpsons family (and the Flanders’s’s’s) which left out a lot of characters plot-wise. I would have liked to have seen more Ralph Wiggum and Groundskeeper Willy, but it was better that way.
The only bad thing about The Simpsons Movie is that it moved a tad bit too fast. An extra ten minutes would have been great (Kind of like the first Spiderman. You waited so long for the movie that even if it was a bit long you could accept that. Superman Returns went WAAAAAY too far with that assumption) but like I said, that is nitpicking. This is the second funniest movie of the year (The irreverence of ATHFCMFFT cannot and will not be topped) and fan or not, you will enjoy yourself. If you are one of the five people that have NOT seen or do NOT like the show, much like the humor in ATHFCMFFT, you will not like this movie. But I did, so bite me. My blog, my rules. I DID have to dock a half a point for the nudity, but that won’t ruin it. I give “The Simpsons Movie”…
9.5 Out Of 10 Stars!!
(A funny ride for fans of the movie, a heap of “what the hell is going on” for those that aren’t. The plot moves quickly so you better not blink, but once again that is in the vein of the show so it was to be expected. Trust me, you will enjoy yourself.)
Next we have “Hairspray”. I don’t care, I like musicals. I have been excited for this movie for a long time, as I love the musical and had a few songs on my iPod for a while. The simple fact about this movie is that it is the HOTTEST MOVIE IN THE HISTORY OF CINEMA!! First, we have the hottest bishie of 2007 in Zac Efron:
Can you say D-R-E-A-M-Y? Secondly was James Marsden who proved that Hugh Jackman isn’t the only X-Man that can cut a rug!
Cyclops? More like DANCE-CLOPS! Okay, that wasn’t fucking funny. You get the idea. Combine that with the fine, Fine, FINE ASS Amanda Bynes (My god…to be the roast beef in an Amanda Bynes/Zac Efron sandwich. Now THAT is what’s for dinner!), a dance number with Christopher Walken (W00T! The Walken singing and dancing!), Queen Latifah not pissing me the hell off and John Travolta FINALLY embracing the transvestite inside and we have….the best movie of the year so far. I said it. Maybe even better than “300”. I mean the hotness factor is about even because put Efron and Marsden in loin cloths and give them spears and they can protect my borders ANYTIME. Whooo, sexual innuendo!
Now this only problem I could find with this movie is that is isn’t for everyone. Musicals are not everyone’s cup-o-tea so much like “The Producers” (WHICH ROCKED) people with not want to see it because it includes singing and dancing. Even still, if you are going to let that keep you from seeing three legitimate Oscar worthy performances (Nikki Blonsky as Tracy Turnblat as Best Actress, Zac Efron as a Supporting Actor and Michelle Phiffer as Supporting Actress. Hell, Travolta and Latifah were great as well and the Walken was the Walken) and the best dance sequence since “Ferris Beuller’s Day Off”:
Then you are going to miss out. I guess I have to go the full monty for the best movie season I can remember…
10 Out of 10 Stars!
(Hell, seeing cutie Zac Efron in a suit was enough for me. Add in a great soundtrack, awesome dance numbers and surprisingly exceptional performances and you have arguably the best movie of 2007. Once again, musicals aren’t everyone’s bag so if you aren’t a fan this could help change that. Great movie. I wish it was Negro Day EVERYDAY! Priceless.)
Okay, since I have a two week break, I have been just kind of hanging out and watching movies. One movie I could never find here was “Jesus Camp”. Mainly because Colorado Springs LOVES the Jebus and does NOT want a film that shows batshit crazy Evangelicals as being…well, batshit crazy:
This documentary was a tad on the special end. By special I mean fucking nuts. I have said it many times I am not anti-religion, I am anti-conversion. The consensus thought is that we as people will FIND God, not God will have his followers scare or insult us into following him/her/it. These people are going about it the wrong way. What I am about to say will blow your fucking mind. I said this in an interview once and I honestly believe that it cost me the job to one person (and actually ended up GETTING me the job from the other). When asked “How would you get your reps to work for you?” I responded:
Well, as a manager of people my reps don’t work for me. I work for THEM. I work for them by making sure they can be the best employees they can be by giving them direction, leadership and in some cases making sure they follow the set rules. I believe that by working for them the best I can they will in turn work for me by doing the best job possible on their end.”
One person LOVED the answer (She hired me) and the other person HATED the answer (He actually left in a fricking huff, it was hilarious). Now because I am a fucktard I took the job at HP instead but that always stuck with me. That line is in essence one of the reasons that I am so against religious people.
I should not have to spread the word of God. God is like crack, you don’t have to sell God because the belief sells. All God should have to do is be their to guide people in their life via anecdotes and common sense. Not forced upon us with fear and coercion. Watching “Jesus Camp” the fact that these people believe that Bush was “chosen” by God and that Creationism should be near ANYONE in any way shape or form shows that it’s not the word; the problem lies in the follower.
Religion belongs in the church. Maybe the home. Let me correct that: YOUR HOME. Religion should not be in places where masses gather (schools, government buildings, sporting events, the mall, etc.) because not everyone is YOUR RELIGION. That goes for all of you. Christians (All 736 denominations of you including Mormons and Catholics. You all follow a crappy remake of an awesome book, like following the remake of Godzilla over the original), Muslims (Don’t blow people up because we don’t believe what you do. It’s fucking petty and fucks up property values), Jews and anyone else that feels the need to push your religion on people and try to make you nation a religious nation. I have never once been harassed by a Buddhist or a Daoist and been told I’m going to Hell because I won’t take their poorly printed flyer. I am SURE God can afford a plotter or at LEAST a high end Epson printer. I’m just saying.
Long story short, people like the Evangelicals in “Jesus Camp” are why people fight so hard AGAINST religion. If you let people find God on their own they will be less likely to resist because they don’t feel forced. Religion is not about blind belief, it is about suspended faith. You follow the stories of the Bible because they are good as anecdotes; ways to life you life. You don’t BLIEVE the Bible because you are scared to go to Hell if you don’t. The stories don’t make sense and they contradict at every turn if you look at it logically. If you look at it as what it is; a poorly constructed book of short stories you can pull out of it good ways to live. Just living righteously as the Bible SAYS should be enough to get into “heaven” for God. If it isn’t, then maybe it aint worth going to heaven. Just a thought.
Yeah, the Deuce is back. No update tomorrow as I will be busy all fricking day but hopefully some good should come out of it. Also, be sure to check out Teqnyc’s album release party at Sodo’s on S. Tejon on Friday! I will be there and hopefully niggas won’t wild out. I really cannot afford to be shot right now, things are looking up. Stay up, Countdown on Friday and the Borne Ultimatum on Saturday!
Chachi Out.
As some of you know, I no longer work at The Pack. I knew it was temporary but it was still rather chickenshit how it ended in a way. Eh, live and learn. I start my new job on August 14th (so next week is all goofing off and catching up on anime) barring a positive drug test (It could happen, I can’t be held accountable for all my wheelings and dealings) and I have some other interviews this week and hopefully next. So needless to say, the Chachi is at a crossroads…at twenty-six. Wow, I am like 15 years or so ahead of my mid-life crisis. Well, last weekend was the best movie weekend since last year with both "Snakes On A Plane" and "Accepted" being seen in one weekend. So today I give you a late...
MASTER CHIEF CAPTAIN CHACHI GOES HOLLYWOOD: ULTIMATE WEEKEND EDITION!
This Week: The Simpsons Movie & Hairspray!
So a quick wrap up of last weekend. For those of you that have not seen The Simpsons Movie…go see it! It is that damn funny. They got the original writers back so gone is the “meh” humor of the last six seasons or so and back is the side-splitting hilarity of the seasons of our youth. The movie was funny the whole way through and in an odd (but good) move, they focused only on the Simpsons family (and the Flanders’s’s’s) which left out a lot of characters plot-wise. I would have liked to have seen more Ralph Wiggum and Groundskeeper Willy, but it was better that way.
The only bad thing about The Simpsons Movie is that it moved a tad bit too fast. An extra ten minutes would have been great (Kind of like the first Spiderman. You waited so long for the movie that even if it was a bit long you could accept that. Superman Returns went WAAAAAY too far with that assumption) but like I said, that is nitpicking. This is the second funniest movie of the year (The irreverence of ATHFCMFFT cannot and will not be topped) and fan or not, you will enjoy yourself. If you are one of the five people that have NOT seen or do NOT like the show, much like the humor in ATHFCMFFT, you will not like this movie. But I did, so bite me. My blog, my rules. I DID have to dock a half a point for the nudity, but that won’t ruin it. I give “The Simpsons Movie”…
9.5 Out Of 10 Stars!!
(A funny ride for fans of the movie, a heap of “what the hell is going on” for those that aren’t. The plot moves quickly so you better not blink, but once again that is in the vein of the show so it was to be expected. Trust me, you will enjoy yourself.)
Next we have “Hairspray”. I don’t care, I like musicals. I have been excited for this movie for a long time, as I love the musical and had a few songs on my iPod for a while. The simple fact about this movie is that it is the HOTTEST MOVIE IN THE HISTORY OF CINEMA!! First, we have the hottest bishie of 2007 in Zac Efron:
Can you say D-R-E-A-M-Y? Secondly was James Marsden who proved that Hugh Jackman isn’t the only X-Man that can cut a rug!
Cyclops? More like DANCE-CLOPS! Okay, that wasn’t fucking funny. You get the idea. Combine that with the fine, Fine, FINE ASS Amanda Bynes (My god…to be the roast beef in an Amanda Bynes/Zac Efron sandwich. Now THAT is what’s for dinner!), a dance number with Christopher Walken (W00T! The Walken singing and dancing!), Queen Latifah not pissing me the hell off and John Travolta FINALLY embracing the transvestite inside and we have….the best movie of the year so far. I said it. Maybe even better than “300”. I mean the hotness factor is about even because put Efron and Marsden in loin cloths and give them spears and they can protect my borders ANYTIME. Whooo, sexual innuendo!
Now this only problem I could find with this movie is that is isn’t for everyone. Musicals are not everyone’s cup-o-tea so much like “The Producers” (WHICH ROCKED) people with not want to see it because it includes singing and dancing. Even still, if you are going to let that keep you from seeing three legitimate Oscar worthy performances (Nikki Blonsky as Tracy Turnblat as Best Actress, Zac Efron as a Supporting Actor and Michelle Phiffer as Supporting Actress. Hell, Travolta and Latifah were great as well and the Walken was the Walken) and the best dance sequence since “Ferris Beuller’s Day Off”:
Then you are going to miss out. I guess I have to go the full monty for the best movie season I can remember…
10 Out of 10 Stars!
(Hell, seeing cutie Zac Efron in a suit was enough for me. Add in a great soundtrack, awesome dance numbers and surprisingly exceptional performances and you have arguably the best movie of 2007. Once again, musicals aren’t everyone’s bag so if you aren’t a fan this could help change that. Great movie. I wish it was Negro Day EVERYDAY! Priceless.)
Okay, since I have a two week break, I have been just kind of hanging out and watching movies. One movie I could never find here was “Jesus Camp”. Mainly because Colorado Springs LOVES the Jebus and does NOT want a film that shows batshit crazy Evangelicals as being…well, batshit crazy:
This documentary was a tad on the special end. By special I mean fucking nuts. I have said it many times I am not anti-religion, I am anti-conversion. The consensus thought is that we as people will FIND God, not God will have his followers scare or insult us into following him/her/it. These people are going about it the wrong way. What I am about to say will blow your fucking mind. I said this in an interview once and I honestly believe that it cost me the job to one person (and actually ended up GETTING me the job from the other). When asked “How would you get your reps to work for you?” I responded:
Well, as a manager of people my reps don’t work for me. I work for THEM. I work for them by making sure they can be the best employees they can be by giving them direction, leadership and in some cases making sure they follow the set rules. I believe that by working for them the best I can they will in turn work for me by doing the best job possible on their end.”
One person LOVED the answer (She hired me) and the other person HATED the answer (He actually left in a fricking huff, it was hilarious). Now because I am a fucktard I took the job at HP instead but that always stuck with me. That line is in essence one of the reasons that I am so against religious people.
I should not have to spread the word of God. God is like crack, you don’t have to sell God because the belief sells. All God should have to do is be their to guide people in their life via anecdotes and common sense. Not forced upon us with fear and coercion. Watching “Jesus Camp” the fact that these people believe that Bush was “chosen” by God and that Creationism should be near ANYONE in any way shape or form shows that it’s not the word; the problem lies in the follower.
Religion belongs in the church. Maybe the home. Let me correct that: YOUR HOME. Religion should not be in places where masses gather (schools, government buildings, sporting events, the mall, etc.) because not everyone is YOUR RELIGION. That goes for all of you. Christians (All 736 denominations of you including Mormons and Catholics. You all follow a crappy remake of an awesome book, like following the remake of Godzilla over the original), Muslims (Don’t blow people up because we don’t believe what you do. It’s fucking petty and fucks up property values), Jews and anyone else that feels the need to push your religion on people and try to make you nation a religious nation. I have never once been harassed by a Buddhist or a Daoist and been told I’m going to Hell because I won’t take their poorly printed flyer. I am SURE God can afford a plotter or at LEAST a high end Epson printer. I’m just saying.
Long story short, people like the Evangelicals in “Jesus Camp” are why people fight so hard AGAINST religion. If you let people find God on their own they will be less likely to resist because they don’t feel forced. Religion is not about blind belief, it is about suspended faith. You follow the stories of the Bible because they are good as anecdotes; ways to life you life. You don’t BLIEVE the Bible because you are scared to go to Hell if you don’t. The stories don’t make sense and they contradict at every turn if you look at it logically. If you look at it as what it is; a poorly constructed book of short stories you can pull out of it good ways to live. Just living righteously as the Bible SAYS should be enough to get into “heaven” for God. If it isn’t, then maybe it aint worth going to heaven. Just a thought.
Yeah, the Deuce is back. No update tomorrow as I will be busy all fricking day but hopefully some good should come out of it. Also, be sure to check out Teqnyc’s album release party at Sodo’s on S. Tejon on Friday! I will be there and hopefully niggas won’t wild out. I really cannot afford to be shot right now, things are looking up. Stay up, Countdown on Friday and the Borne Ultimatum on Saturday!
Chachi Out.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow. Except For Right Now. Kiss My ASS, PACK!
What is up, peeps?! It’s Friday and it is officially my last day at the Pack, so in a way I am muy trieste. However, I have a job offer (granted I pass the sure to be failed drug test) and had two interviews for jobs so things arent too bad. Besides, you know what its time for!
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We begin with a new video from a Countdown legend!
20. UVERworld - Shaka Beach~Laka Laka La~ (New Entry)
IT IS ABOUT FRICKING TIME!! UVERworld is back with a new single and video! Now I know they had “Endscape” out but I really wasn’t a fan of it. This is getting back up to the levels of “Shamrock” in terms of quality. Welcome back!
19. Orange Range – Ika Summer (Last Week #16)
So I just got “Orange” and “Range” which is their dual disc greatest hits collection and I must say I enjoyed what I heard so far. The FIRST TIME, but still. This was a kick ass summer tune, but with August comes the end of summer and looks to be the end of their run.
18. FLOW - Answer (Last Week #20)
I am pretty sure the peeps aren’t excited but I am really looking forward to a new FLOW album sometime soon. You know, Naruto: Shippuuden is in need of a new theme in six or seven episodes, could they have their THIRD opening theme for Naruto? Not going to lie, that would kick ass (with the show doing the exact opposite).
17. Daddy Yankee feat. Fergie – Impacto (Last Week #14)
Looks like the only “Impacto” that Daddy Yankee is making is the impact of his video falling three places. Here is hoping for a new video soon, I always kind of liked Daddy Yankee.
16. John Legend – Stereo (Last Week #19)
Another day, another John Legend video on the Countdown. You know, he is officially the Countdown King. I said it. Yui and Nelly Furtado are battling it out for the title of Queen, but John Legend has this on LOCKDOWN. This song is summer madness (Will Smith, fools!) and the video is cool to boot. Good year for the Legend.
15. Gym Class Heroes – Clothes Off (Last Week #17)
Yeah, you know it. This song is officially the ringtone (Once I figure out how to SEND THEM!). I also just realized that Gym Class Heroes were in “Snakes on a Plane”! Or at least the music video at the end of the movie. Man, that movie kicked so much as. Screw America for not seeing it.
14. Maroon 5 – Makes Me Wonder (Last Week #11, Three weeks at #1)
The former Countdown champs fall three more spots this week. I just got word that a new video is coming soon, and once it comes you will be the first to know. I still like this video and I still would pay out the ASS for a Duran Duran/Maroon 5 show.
13. Kanye West feat. Daft Punk – Stronger (Last Week #17)
Okay, I know a lot of people don’t like Kanye. Well, I am kind of in that boat and kind of not. I like him about 80% of the time. That last 20% makes me want to fucking kill him. I mean seriously he angers the hell out of me sometimes. Other times, he is my favorite rapper. It is quite the conundrum.
12. Abingdon Boys School – Howling (Last Week #9, One week at #1)
The rockingest song of 2007 finally falls out of the Top 10 for the first time since April. Although TM isn’t a new artist, I am considering nominating Abingdon Boys School for the Chachi Award for Best New Artist. Any arguments? Didn’t think so.
11. AI – Brand New Day (Last Week # 13)
Wow, I just got this single (The non-PV rip) and I must say this song is better studio style. The video moves up right outside the Top 10 this week and rightfully so. It is a fun summer video and a great summertime jam. Can AI get her second Top 10? We’ll see!
10. Abingdon Boys School – Nephilim (Last Week #12)
Well look who it is! The second video from Abingdon Boys School’s upcoming album has given them their second Top 10 video. This song is great for an AMV for the upcoming Nan Desu Kan but I don’t have the mad AMV skills. Even still, good stuff.
9. T.I. – Big Things Poppin’ (Last Week #5)
After a week in the Top 5, T.I. falls four big spots this week. He has a new video coming soon (Not “You Know What It Is”) so I am looking forward to that. Hopefully, it will be a little more inspired because the first two videos didn’t match the awesomeness of “Bring Em Out” or “What You Know”.
8. Hearts Grow - Mimawari (Last Week #10)
Yay! I officially am in love with this song. I get the looks when I have the song playing with the windows down and even WEIRDER looks when I watch the video at work. I don’t care, this song is good old fashioned j-pop goodness.
7. Gackt – RETURNER ~Yami no Shuuen~ (Last Week #8)
If there were a question of how hot is too hot…Gackt would be that answer. This video moves up a spot this week and the heat is burning up the rest of the videos. I need this hard drive, dude!
6. Common – The People (Last Week #7)
Common moves up another spot this week, holding it down for hip hop in the Top 10. So I got “Finding Forever” and here is the update: it is not as good as “Be”. Keep in mind that “Be” was the best album of 2005 so it is hard to match that. Even though it is a drop-off, it is still one of the best full albums of the year. If you like hip hop, give it a whirl.
5. Foxxi MisQ feat Zeebra – Luxury Ride (Last Week #3)
Oh no! After two weeks at #3 (Yui will do that to you) Foxxi MisQ falls two spots! Can I just say that Dem is hot? Did I say that this week? Because if I didn’t…she’s hot. I am talking by the fire hot. Hells yeah.
4. Foxxi MisQ feat. Miss Monday – Party Booty Shake (Last Week #6)
Yay! Foxxi MisQ joins UVERworld as the only artist to have two videos in the Top 5! I am liking this video a lot more than “Luxury Ride” solely for the reason that…well Dem looks hot. Sue me, I likes what I likes. And I likes me some Dem. Scantily clad j-urban groups do this to me.
3. Yui – My Generation (Last Week #2) [Four Weeks at #2]
After a full month at #2, Yui falls to #3 this week. If this holds, she will not tie John Legend with three consecutive #1 videos. That has nothing to do with the quality of “My Generation”. Any other time, this video is #1 hands down but there are two bigger videos this week. Great run so far, though!
2. L`Arc~en~Ciel – Seventh Heaven (Last Week #4)
You better believe it! The Aerosmith of J-Rock is one step away from taking their first #1 video! I just heard their second single (It is a radio rip so the quality is “meh”) and needless to say I am rather impressed. I have been a fan of L’Arc~en~Ciel for about 10 years (give or take) and this spot is well deserved because they rawk and this video rules! However, they still cant dethrone the champ…
1. UGK feat. Outkast – International Players Anthem (Last Week #1, Four weeks at #1)
UGK and Outkast don’t slip! They fight off Yui and hold on to the #1 spot for a full month! That ties them with nobodyknows+ (Heroes Come Back!) and John Legend (P.D.A.“We Just Don’t Care”) for the longest reign of 2007! That is quite an accomplishment, as it is also the first hip hop video at #1 since “Top Back Remix” by T.I. in February. Been quite a run, guys! Hells yeah!
That is all for this Friday. Tune in next week to see if UGK can do what nobodyknows+ and John Legend could not and make it a FIFTH week at #1! Or can Hyde and the boys finally get their well deserved #1 spot? Or can Yui be the first aside from….UVERworld to pull and UVERworld and take over the Top Spot? See you here next Friday! I am off to see “The Simpson’s Movie”!
Chachi Out.
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We begin with a new video from a Countdown legend!
20. UVERworld - Shaka Beach~Laka Laka La~ (New Entry)
IT IS ABOUT FRICKING TIME!! UVERworld is back with a new single and video! Now I know they had “Endscape” out but I really wasn’t a fan of it. This is getting back up to the levels of “Shamrock” in terms of quality. Welcome back!
19. Orange Range – Ika Summer (Last Week #16)
So I just got “Orange” and “Range” which is their dual disc greatest hits collection and I must say I enjoyed what I heard so far. The FIRST TIME, but still. This was a kick ass summer tune, but with August comes the end of summer and looks to be the end of their run.
18. FLOW - Answer (Last Week #20)
I am pretty sure the peeps aren’t excited but I am really looking forward to a new FLOW album sometime soon. You know, Naruto: Shippuuden is in need of a new theme in six or seven episodes, could they have their THIRD opening theme for Naruto? Not going to lie, that would kick ass (with the show doing the exact opposite).
17. Daddy Yankee feat. Fergie – Impacto (Last Week #14)
Looks like the only “Impacto” that Daddy Yankee is making is the impact of his video falling three places. Here is hoping for a new video soon, I always kind of liked Daddy Yankee.
16. John Legend – Stereo (Last Week #19)
Another day, another John Legend video on the Countdown. You know, he is officially the Countdown King. I said it. Yui and Nelly Furtado are battling it out for the title of Queen, but John Legend has this on LOCKDOWN. This song is summer madness (Will Smith, fools!) and the video is cool to boot. Good year for the Legend.
15. Gym Class Heroes – Clothes Off (Last Week #17)
Yeah, you know it. This song is officially the ringtone (Once I figure out how to SEND THEM!). I also just realized that Gym Class Heroes were in “Snakes on a Plane”! Or at least the music video at the end of the movie. Man, that movie kicked so much as. Screw America for not seeing it.
14. Maroon 5 – Makes Me Wonder (Last Week #11, Three weeks at #1)
The former Countdown champs fall three more spots this week. I just got word that a new video is coming soon, and once it comes you will be the first to know. I still like this video and I still would pay out the ASS for a Duran Duran/Maroon 5 show.
13. Kanye West feat. Daft Punk – Stronger (Last Week #17)
Okay, I know a lot of people don’t like Kanye. Well, I am kind of in that boat and kind of not. I like him about 80% of the time. That last 20% makes me want to fucking kill him. I mean seriously he angers the hell out of me sometimes. Other times, he is my favorite rapper. It is quite the conundrum.
12. Abingdon Boys School – Howling (Last Week #9, One week at #1)
The rockingest song of 2007 finally falls out of the Top 10 for the first time since April. Although TM isn’t a new artist, I am considering nominating Abingdon Boys School for the Chachi Award for Best New Artist. Any arguments? Didn’t think so.
11. AI – Brand New Day (Last Week # 13)
Wow, I just got this single (The non-PV rip) and I must say this song is better studio style. The video moves up right outside the Top 10 this week and rightfully so. It is a fun summer video and a great summertime jam. Can AI get her second Top 10? We’ll see!
10. Abingdon Boys School – Nephilim (Last Week #12)
Well look who it is! The second video from Abingdon Boys School’s upcoming album has given them their second Top 10 video. This song is great for an AMV for the upcoming Nan Desu Kan but I don’t have the mad AMV skills. Even still, good stuff.
9. T.I. – Big Things Poppin’ (Last Week #5)
After a week in the Top 5, T.I. falls four big spots this week. He has a new video coming soon (Not “You Know What It Is”) so I am looking forward to that. Hopefully, it will be a little more inspired because the first two videos didn’t match the awesomeness of “Bring Em Out” or “What You Know”.
8. Hearts Grow - Mimawari (Last Week #10)
Yay! I officially am in love with this song. I get the looks when I have the song playing with the windows down and even WEIRDER looks when I watch the video at work. I don’t care, this song is good old fashioned j-pop goodness.
7. Gackt – RETURNER ~Yami no Shuuen~ (Last Week #8)
If there were a question of how hot is too hot…Gackt would be that answer. This video moves up a spot this week and the heat is burning up the rest of the videos. I need this hard drive, dude!
6. Common – The People (Last Week #7)
Common moves up another spot this week, holding it down for hip hop in the Top 10. So I got “Finding Forever” and here is the update: it is not as good as “Be”. Keep in mind that “Be” was the best album of 2005 so it is hard to match that. Even though it is a drop-off, it is still one of the best full albums of the year. If you like hip hop, give it a whirl.
5. Foxxi MisQ feat Zeebra – Luxury Ride (Last Week #3)
Oh no! After two weeks at #3 (Yui will do that to you) Foxxi MisQ falls two spots! Can I just say that Dem is hot? Did I say that this week? Because if I didn’t…she’s hot. I am talking by the fire hot. Hells yeah.
4. Foxxi MisQ feat. Miss Monday – Party Booty Shake (Last Week #6)
Yay! Foxxi MisQ joins UVERworld as the only artist to have two videos in the Top 5! I am liking this video a lot more than “Luxury Ride” solely for the reason that…well Dem looks hot. Sue me, I likes what I likes. And I likes me some Dem. Scantily clad j-urban groups do this to me.
3. Yui – My Generation (Last Week #2) [Four Weeks at #2]
After a full month at #2, Yui falls to #3 this week. If this holds, she will not tie John Legend with three consecutive #1 videos. That has nothing to do with the quality of “My Generation”. Any other time, this video is #1 hands down but there are two bigger videos this week. Great run so far, though!
2. L`Arc~en~Ciel – Seventh Heaven (Last Week #4)
You better believe it! The Aerosmith of J-Rock is one step away from taking their first #1 video! I just heard their second single (It is a radio rip so the quality is “meh”) and needless to say I am rather impressed. I have been a fan of L’Arc~en~Ciel for about 10 years (give or take) and this spot is well deserved because they rawk and this video rules! However, they still cant dethrone the champ…
1. UGK feat. Outkast – International Players Anthem (Last Week #1, Four weeks at #1)
UGK and Outkast don’t slip! They fight off Yui and hold on to the #1 spot for a full month! That ties them with nobodyknows+ (Heroes Come Back!) and John Legend (P.D.A.“We Just Don’t Care”) for the longest reign of 2007! That is quite an accomplishment, as it is also the first hip hop video at #1 since “Top Back Remix” by T.I. in February. Been quite a run, guys! Hells yeah!
That is all for this Friday. Tune in next week to see if UGK can do what nobodyknows+ and John Legend could not and make it a FIFTH week at #1! Or can Hyde and the boys finally get their well deserved #1 spot? Or can Yui be the first aside from….UVERworld to pull and UVERworld and take over the Top Spot? See you here next Friday! I am off to see “The Simpson’s Movie”!
Chachi Out.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Are You Ready For Some Football Bullshit?!
FUCK THE BCS!!
So after finishing 13-0 and winning the Big 12 Championship Game 38-24 over #5 Texas…I finish #3 in the BCS. Behind MICHIGAN (FUCKING MICHIGAN!) and UCLA who are both 13-0 granted but they DID NOT play the schedule I did!
This is MY Schedule (Ranking are the Final Coaches Top 25 Polls):
Colorado State 59-14 (6-5)
@ #23 Ohio State 40-7 (8-4)
Florida State 34-31 OT (7-6)
#13 Oklahoma 33-7 (9-3)
@ Baylor 82-21 (3-8)
@ Kansas State 29-10 (6-5)
Kansas 48-0 (4-8)
@ Texas Tech 65-17 (4-8)
Missouri 62-34 (8-4)
@ Iowa State 45-21 (4-8)
Navy 48-27 (8-4)
#8 Nebraska 39-25 (10-2)
#9 Texas 38-24 (11-2)
First off, unlike Michigan I didn’t play teams without a fucking name (FCS Southwest? What the fuck, at least I played a god damn service academy!) and I CRUSHED Ohio State AT HOME which doesn’t happen unless you are Wisconsin (which I don’t get but hey, who am I to judge). As for shitty ass UCLA…
UCLA?!
First off, I could have beat Notre Dame. I could have beaten UTAH. Instead I played REAL SCHOOLS. Fucking pussies. Hell, even HAWAII got an at-large bid. HA-FUCKING-WHY-EE?! This game is bullshit. Don’t even get me STARTED on the underthrown passes and the offensive linemen that phase through defensive tackles. So now, instead of playing for a National Championship in the climate controlled Superdome (they fixed it) I have to go to fucking hot ass Arizona for the Fiesta Bowl against USC. Yeah, that’s fair.
Eat my ass, BCS. Eat it good.
So after finishing 13-0 and winning the Big 12 Championship Game 38-24 over #5 Texas…I finish #3 in the BCS. Behind MICHIGAN (FUCKING MICHIGAN!) and UCLA who are both 13-0 granted but they DID NOT play the schedule I did!
This is MY Schedule (Ranking are the Final Coaches Top 25 Polls):
Colorado State 59-14 (6-5)
@ #23 Ohio State 40-7 (8-4)
Florida State 34-31 OT (7-6)
#13 Oklahoma 33-7 (9-3)
@ Baylor 82-21 (3-8)
@ Kansas State 29-10 (6-5)
Kansas 48-0 (4-8)
@ Texas Tech 65-17 (4-8)
Missouri 62-34 (8-4)
@ Iowa State 45-21 (4-8)
Navy 48-27 (8-4)
#8 Nebraska 39-25 (10-2)
#9 Texas 38-24 (11-2)
First off, unlike Michigan I didn’t play teams without a fucking name (FCS Southwest? What the fuck, at least I played a god damn service academy!) and I CRUSHED Ohio State AT HOME which doesn’t happen unless you are Wisconsin (which I don’t get but hey, who am I to judge). As for shitty ass UCLA…
UCLA?!
First off, I could have beat Notre Dame. I could have beaten UTAH. Instead I played REAL SCHOOLS. Fucking pussies. Hell, even HAWAII got an at-large bid. HA-FUCKING-WHY-EE?! This game is bullshit. Don’t even get me STARTED on the underthrown passes and the offensive linemen that phase through defensive tackles. So now, instead of playing for a National Championship in the climate controlled Superdome (they fixed it) I have to go to fucking hot ass Arizona for the Fiesta Bowl against USC. Yeah, that’s fair.
Eat my ass, BCS. Eat it good.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Fight The Power! Unless...You Know, He's Bigger Than You. Then You Negotiate.
It's times like this that I wonder why in the hell news outlets exist:
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/07/24/tsa.incidents/index.html
Listen, I couldn’t give a flying fuck about national security because if we cant stop a bunch of undersexed, highly irritable, suicide obsessed, misguided fanatics (not Muslims, FAN-AT-TICKS) from running planes into building then maybe we aren’t as advanced as of a country as we thought. Israel has had terrorism for years, not ONE KNOCKED DOWN BUILDING. We have had three (although one was kind of done by a crazy WHITE GUY, which is TOTALLY different than a crazy Moroccan and Saudi Arabian).
I am so sick of people trying to make me scared of every-fucking-thing because terrorists could strike at any moment. If you believe that then you are a fucking moron. Two attacks in 230+ years isn’t a bad average, quit being such pussies. Quit being such naïve fuckers acting like it can’t happen here because it can and it will because you can’t stop crazy and for the most part…TERRORISTS ARE CRAZY! Living in a culture of fear and blowing up everything at the first sign of an Arab isn’t going to fix JACK SHIT. Be fucking smart, not paranoid. There is a definite difference.
Now I have been called Un-American because of my non-hatred (Which to r-tards equals support) for Muslims (Well, not as much support for Muslims as much as a distain for fucktards) during this time where we all must have a UNIFIED FRONT OF HATE AND STUPIDITY (Trademark pending)! I don’t hate people for one a few do; I take it up with the individuals. Getting pissed off at a whole group of people because of something a few do isn’t patriotism, its prejudiced and overall stupid. I know I rail on the Jews but at the end of the day, they killed Jesus. Name one thing more hardcore than letting the “son of God” (BULLLLSHIIIIIIIIIIIT!) get nailed like Ashlynn Brooke (She’s hot for a blond, I must say) and truly not giving a flying fuck? I am saying it now: Jews rule. I mean I SAY “fuck Jesus” like Jim Jones says “BALLIN!” but they MEAN that shit. They feel about Jesus like I feel about Rich Boy: Meh.
Back to the point, people need to get off of this whole “Culture of Fear” bullshit. If you leave the house and you are afraid of terrorists then you are the biggest fucking idiot ever. I mean EVER. I am more scared of Blacks, taxes, rednecks, jailbait (DAMN YOU, HAYDEN!), piss-poor drivers and bros than I am of some non-masturbating, eternally bitter fanatic. I think its funny how that when Muslims “kill for their religion” its insanity but when Christians do it, it’s “righteous”. So unless you are:
- Buddhist (Solely because Buddha was cool when I left the group in 1999. He understood I had solo dreams)
- Taoist (Big ups to Chairman Tao! I kid, I kid)
- Atheist (Now this one was difficult because some fucktards believe that Taoists and Buddhists are atheists because the believe in a personal savior rather than a deity. In the end, anyone that gives the finger to organized religion is okay by me.)
- Jewish (They may be crazy bastards like the rest, but at least they were the FIRST crazy bastards.)
Shut the fuck up! Keep Jesus out of my politics and keep 9/11 out of my election. Get over it, it was going to happen at some point because that’s what happens when you fuck with crazy people. They do crazy shit, you saw “What’s Love Got To Do With It”.
Now onto something else that has been bugging me for minute. I watched some of the Republican debates on Fox News because I hate myself and I am totally a fan of Ron Paul now. Mainly because he smacked down Rudy Giuliani using our own intelligence:
But once again, Americans have 9/11 up their ass so because he isn’t down for the war he is against the troops.
Okay, everyone knows my stance: I am against the war AND against the troops because if Army, Navy and Air Force can’t beat Notre Dame how can they beat Al Qaeda? They run a spread option; you know how hard it is to stop that shit?! Ask Ohio State and Oklahoma! I am NOT going to explain that joke, watch some college football. In all seriousness, I do not support the war (not like it fucking matters) and I will voice my disapproval since I have no say in whether or not we send troops to conflict. Going to war with Iraq was pointless because:
1. Bigger threats to deal with. Well, not necessarily BIGGER as to say imminent. Iran and North Korea are and were more threatening than Iraq. Hell, Venezuela was more of a threat!
2. That region sucks. Fuck the Middle East. There, I said it. Israel needs to just fucking move out. It’s like the family that refuses to leave because the neighborhood has gone downhill and the property value has dropped. Sometimes it’s best to chalk it up as a loss and charge it to the game. We are not a religious nation (Despite what Jerry Falwell and others would say), but the Middle East is a religious region. We should NOT EVER get involved…period.
3. Terrorism happens. Hell, 9/11 wasn’t the first attack on American soil. It was the first of most massive destruction but that is what five years of planning will do for you. It has been going on in countries as long as I can remember and being overseas for my childhood and early teens I heard about attacks everyday. People say that isn’t a good view, but it is logical. If someone hates you, they will get to you. And why do they hate us? Reason four…
4. Do Unto Others and Blah Blah Blah. Think of it like this: if Canada started building Air Force bases in Jefferson County, Missouri would Mormons be pissed? If France just decided to build an Army facility (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…whooooo) right next to The Vatican, you think the Catholics would take two seconds to stop sodomizing young boys to consult the scrolls and get all indignant? The answer is yes. Religion makes people stupid, flat out. So the United States building military installations on THEIR holy land is how different? It is just as stupid in my opinion but if you don’t respect others religious beliefs you can’t get upset when they get all pissy right back. And to you moronic shits that say that 9/11 isn’t justification for a few military bases: no shit. They are crazy, and that’s how crazy rolls.
Add in the fact that there is no (sensible, anyway) link to Al Queda in Iraq previous to the invasion, no weapons of mass destruction (the reason we went in the first place) and no real…PLAN TO WIN THIS THING and I would say that the US and A is in quite the dilly of a pickle.
Oh, and to people pissed about people voting for Bush against Kerry in 2004 you must realize one thing. It wasn’t about the worthlessness of Kerry or the popularity (RIGHT) of Bush. It was about the feeling of Americans deep down that we are all bitches. I will say this one last mother-fucking time:
“With great power comes great responsibility”
Name ONE PRESIDENT in the last…60 years or so that has really believed that? Lil Bush fuck-faced the Constitution, Clinton face-fucked interns, Bush face-fucked world politics and Reagan face-fucked…everyone that wasn’t White. Fuck Reagan. Oh, and Carter was face-fucked by a bunny. It all breaks down with the fact that we as Americans don’t want the power OR responsibility of deciding what to do so we leave it into the hands of our elected officials. Well, not like a representative democracy gives us much of a CHOICE but you get the idea. We have the power to voice our opinions and not be shot at (unless you went to Kent State but that was hippies so…I’ll allow it) but at the same time…no one ever says anything of value? Is Fox News really helping by slanting everything to the right? Are CNN and every shitty celebrity helping by slanting everything to the left? Is MSNBC helping by…sucking? NO. The more you think for yourself, the more you realize that the news isn’t shaping your views but since Americans are lazy and stupid (I will admit to lazy, but I didn’t go through three years of grade school to be called stupid) they base what they believe off of fake news and fake texts. Like…Fox News and the Bible? CNN and the Necronomicon? The Daily Show and Mad Magazine?
I have noticed that as I have begun to analyze candidates and issues based on how I feel rather than what I see on TV (since high school-ish timeframe) I have realized that I despise a two party system. People say it isn’t, but logic cannot be denied:
1. Americans are People.
2. People are stupid. 3. Stupid people are easily swayed.
4. Easily swayed people watch Cable TV.
5. Cable TV has all the news channels.
6. All news channels have agendas.
7. Agendas equal propaganda to push there message.
8. Propaganda is used to persuade the stupid.
9. People are stupid.
10. Americans are people.
11. Americans are stupid.
If all is true, I guess Americans are persuaded by Cable TV propaganda because they are stupid.
Now, if the above is true and those news channels are pushing their agenda they need to only have one enemy. Mainly because they only can give “news” in 22 minute blocks broken up by 2 minute commercial intervals because Americans can’t focus on anything for more that 7 minutes at a time not called Halo. They do that by finding the party that the most people align themselves with and shoving it as far down our throats they can without killing us. Every vote counts, especially since so few of you FUCKING VOTE. So why are we a two party system?
People sacrifice some of their issues and vote for the lesser evil. People sacrifice free-thought to be a Conservative (Yeah, keep your shitty Jesus out of my election. Thaaaaaanks). They sacrifice common sense to be a liberal (The government caused 9/11? Our government can’t make kill Fidel Castro and that dude is almost dead by natural causes). We all sacrifice our civil liberties for the illusion of national safety. We are asked to give up our right to speak out against the war with the threat of being against the troops. I don’t believe in sacrifice when it comes to rights. My family didn’t get all those ass-whoopins and hoses for me to not vote for the candidate that fits me most.
This isn’t one of those call-to-actions that I do every now and then. I really just want people to not watch cable TV. First off, unless it is Adult Swim or Comedy Central it sucks. Second off, it is all rather slanted so you don’t learn anything. It’s like trying to learn to drive by playing “Mario Kart”. I mean you CAN do that, but is it the best route to go about it if you want to not get pulled over or hit with a shell? The internet has MORE options, albeit slanted. All I ask of you is to get yo’ learn on. Figure out a candidate that fits what you believe are the key aspects of a president and will address the issues that you feel are pressing. And for those that say “what this president does and says doesn’t effect my world” will remember that when you taxes are 52%, gas is $5.03 a gallon, all work has been outsourced to Costa Rica and the Chinese have Army bases in Castle Rock. That kind of thinking is what a-holes prey on. Don’t forget:
“Indifference is more damaging than ignorance because being indifferent feeds the ability for people to remain that way.”
I will be back to the funny rants and stuff next time. Stay up, peeps.
Chachi Out.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Bro-ing Out In CSP.
I’m back, fishes! Pretty good weekend on this end. Had to spend a little extra with the modem for the Internet and paying extra on bills just in case shit hits the fan and I have to go back to pimping teen prostitutes to make ends meet. I really don’t want to go upside a bitches’ head…but I will to feed my manga habit.
So on Friday, Zach and I went to Blondies (FUCK! Wasn’t I boycotting them?!) and I did what I do best: people watch and have the ladies avoid me. Yeah, it’s a skill. The part that sucked about the evening was the “Bro-Bomb” that exploded downtown. You know, as much as I despise Bros (right above Thugs, Dumb Women and Rednecks) they are the most hilarious and interesting to observe. Using my non-verbal communication skills and my uber-awesome sense of what is lame I was able to come to a conclusion that may change the power structure of men and women (or at least Bros and other Bros) as we know it. Peeps, after extensive monitoring and research I have found that…
Bros Are The New Chick.
I know you think I am crazy, as did Zach when I told him. Really put everything about Bros into perspective. When you hash it all out, they are totally the lesser species.
FACT: Bros Reek Of Non-Conformist Conformity
Much like women, Bros require Non-Conformist Conformity. Contradiction if terms, you say? Well, look at Bros. They all dress and look the same. Polo shirt with the collar flipped up, vintage (un-ironed) shorts, sandals and an AE hat turned backward for street cred. Prove me wrong. Oh, sometimes they go for the business look and wear some khakis…with the same sandals. They have stores specifically targeted toward them and they are mass marketed (American Eagle, Abercrombie & Fitch, Old Navy…and like eight or so others) which is the epitome of Non-Conformist Conformity. What is Individual Conformity? It’s when people believe they are being individuals by embracing and following the norm. What is more individualistic than being just like everyone else? Hell, Bros are more Non-Conformist Conformists than EMO KIDS! At least Emo Kids have some cool music; Bro-Tunes SUCK ASS. Simple fact is that all Bros dress, think and act alike even though there are subsets of the Bro-Culture (another post altogether). Oh, and those wondering how women fall into Non-Conformist Conformity…watch the Disney Channel, Bratz, MTV or go to the club. No matter the age, most women need to be different by being just like everyone else. Let that marinate. Keep in mind I’m not saying ALL but if you cannot rationalize that statement odds are you are guilty of it; at some point we all are just Bros more than others.
Fact: Bros Get Touchy When They Are Drunk
This I have seen (and almost been a victim of in college, actually) first hand and I must say it is SCARY! When Bros get drunk, they lose their inhibitions (Just like women and DON’T DARE SAY THAT IS FALSE) and begin to open up their personal space and erogenous boundaries. The problem is, much like women do with men sometimes, it is a same sex party. I witnessed three Bros move women out of the way to dance with another Bro. To MADONNA. I mean if that doesn’t scream gay then I don’t know what the hell does. Bros also touch total strangers (only dudes, though) and say things like “Dude, are we cool?” out of the blue as they gaze at you longingly (no shit, it happened to me at Thirsty Parrot and I was scared). Much like a woman will grab you and with her drunken gaze ask “Am I pretty?” to which I reply “Well, in Buddha’s eyes, we are all pretty” to which I get a confused look that is a Pyrrhic victory for me. Long story short, Bro’s are drunkenly looking to find someone to “Bro Out” with much like chicks are looking for someone to drunkenly “Whore Out” with. Man, I need to write a book.
FACT: Bros Are Attention Whores
Oy…where do I start with this one? When both are drunk:
Women: I AM SO DRUNK RIGHT NOW!
Bros: I AM SO FUCKED UP RIGHT NOW!
See a parallel? Let’s go again. When both are drunk and hear a marginally popular song:
Women: Oh, this is my song! SHAWTY LET ME BUY YO’ DRAAAAAAANK!
Bros: Shaaaaaa, it’s the Doctor! LA-DEE-DA-DEE-DA! IT’S THE MUTHERFUCKIN D-R-E!
Still not convinced? When confronted about their sexual behavior:
Women: Wha-eva! I am NOT A WHORE!
Bros: Fuck you, bro! I am NOT GAY! No homo over here!
You get the idea. Both women and Bros have to be the center of attention at all times. This has been scientifically proven by me on several occasions whether it be the blowing off of women at the club when I am in conversation (Rick and I did that a couple of times at the Giggly Grizzly and The Loft) and them subsequently getting upset or thinking I and whoever I am with are gay. Also note the pole dancing, the kissing of other women but not being gay, and of course the grinding for no reason. Bros are the loudest, most obnoxious A-holes in the building and usually grind up on women or EACH OTHER while making sure that everyone knows that Bro Phi Bro is in the place to be and they go UCCS Uni-Ver-Si-Tee. If women don’t respond they call her a “bitch” or whatever word in their limited vocabulary they can think to call a woman. Sound familiar? They want the attention, but on their own terms. All the power, none of the responsibility. Yeah, circular reasoning; no holes in my logic.
FACT: Bros Are Totally Insecure
Now this was a difficult one to observe since Bros (much like women) are all sound and fury signifying nothing. Women will say that they don’t need no man and they don’t take shit from anyone…yet will be in a relationship with someone even they call worthless. Behind all that ego and false female pride is an insecure woman that sticks with an unwanted situation because she is afraid of being alone. Now Bros are a different animal because in this case they are more like Emo-kids or Goths. I rarely see Bros by themselves at all and when I do their bravado is turned down to zero. Also, I knew Bros in college and when it was just he and I you wouldn’t even know that he was a bro. But get him at the Ritz or Rumbay and he lost his mind because it was all about the Bro-jamins, baby! A friend of mine (Ethan) in my Women’s Studies and Gerontology classes’ Junior year was a dude that you would never know was a “Bro” because he despised other Bros. He even told me one thing that really made me think:
“The fake-ass Bros here are a step below the Emo-kids because at least the Emo-kids have something they stand for, albeit stupid. A real “Bro” doesn’t call himself a “bro” any-damn way. A “Bro” is just someone who is for everyone understanding each other. Like…hell, hippies that bathe. True Bros don’t call themselves “Bro”, they call everyone else Bro because we are all brothers as in family no matter what your race, religion or gender, man.” (Note: He used to get high…a lot. Deep stuff, he was my road dog since Freshman year)
Ethan and I used to get food in the break 2 hour between the Ethnic Studies and Gerontology classes with some females from the morning Women’s Studies class and debate about stuff like this and you know what? We never lost. Because they ALL dated Bros (Even worse they were “G.I. Bros” which are one of the worst of the worst. I’ll have a post on the kinds of Bros at some point for fun) and when asked why they even STATED it was insecurity of leaving them because they fear what is out there. Ethan (who knew Bros, he was like a Bro Obi-Wan in Wisconsin where he transferred from) even explained that Bros are insecure about being seen as “punks” by women so they act like jerkasses and that some were just born A-holes and becoming a obnoxious Bro was just easy. Just like women who gave it up in high school so when they got to college they said “Well, cant get off the Ho-Train now!” God, I’m going to die alone at this rate.
That is that. Bros are the Chicks of 2007. Now don’t go getting all pissy. Not all women constantly display the four aforementioned traits but from what I have observed and have been told to me, these are the consistent attitudes of women and they transfer almost perfectly to Bros. Oh, one last thing: both Bros and women have like a set of three dance moves they live and die by.
Women: The Drop It, The Over The Shoulder Look/Hip Shake and Anything that causes your eyes to look at their chest (Women aren’t innovators on the dance floor. Ask MC Hammer)
Bros: The Roll The Dice, The Sprinkler and the Kid N’ Play Move (The grabbing of one leg and thrusting. I’m going to call it the “Bro Bro Gadget”)
See, this is why I should call myself a Doctor. I have a Bachelors in Communications and a Minor in Women’s Studies and Sociology. Works for Dr. Orpheus:
If you can’t see the humor in that, there is something wrong with you. I’ll be back up at some point this week, probably with a rant not Bros. Unless it’s the Venture Bros. Go Team Venture!
Chachi Out.
So on Friday, Zach and I went to Blondies (FUCK! Wasn’t I boycotting them?!) and I did what I do best: people watch and have the ladies avoid me. Yeah, it’s a skill. The part that sucked about the evening was the “Bro-Bomb” that exploded downtown. You know, as much as I despise Bros (right above Thugs, Dumb Women and Rednecks) they are the most hilarious and interesting to observe. Using my non-verbal communication skills and my uber-awesome sense of what is lame I was able to come to a conclusion that may change the power structure of men and women (or at least Bros and other Bros) as we know it. Peeps, after extensive monitoring and research I have found that…
Bros Are The New Chick.
I know you think I am crazy, as did Zach when I told him. Really put everything about Bros into perspective. When you hash it all out, they are totally the lesser species.
FACT: Bros Reek Of Non-Conformist Conformity
Much like women, Bros require Non-Conformist Conformity. Contradiction if terms, you say? Well, look at Bros. They all dress and look the same. Polo shirt with the collar flipped up, vintage (un-ironed) shorts, sandals and an AE hat turned backward for street cred. Prove me wrong. Oh, sometimes they go for the business look and wear some khakis…with the same sandals. They have stores specifically targeted toward them and they are mass marketed (American Eagle, Abercrombie & Fitch, Old Navy…and like eight or so others) which is the epitome of Non-Conformist Conformity. What is Individual Conformity? It’s when people believe they are being individuals by embracing and following the norm. What is more individualistic than being just like everyone else? Hell, Bros are more Non-Conformist Conformists than EMO KIDS! At least Emo Kids have some cool music; Bro-Tunes SUCK ASS. Simple fact is that all Bros dress, think and act alike even though there are subsets of the Bro-Culture (another post altogether). Oh, and those wondering how women fall into Non-Conformist Conformity…watch the Disney Channel, Bratz, MTV or go to the club. No matter the age, most women need to be different by being just like everyone else. Let that marinate. Keep in mind I’m not saying ALL but if you cannot rationalize that statement odds are you are guilty of it; at some point we all are just Bros more than others.
Fact: Bros Get Touchy When They Are Drunk
This I have seen (and almost been a victim of in college, actually) first hand and I must say it is SCARY! When Bros get drunk, they lose their inhibitions (Just like women and DON’T DARE SAY THAT IS FALSE) and begin to open up their personal space and erogenous boundaries. The problem is, much like women do with men sometimes, it is a same sex party. I witnessed three Bros move women out of the way to dance with another Bro. To MADONNA. I mean if that doesn’t scream gay then I don’t know what the hell does. Bros also touch total strangers (only dudes, though) and say things like “Dude, are we cool?” out of the blue as they gaze at you longingly (no shit, it happened to me at Thirsty Parrot and I was scared). Much like a woman will grab you and with her drunken gaze ask “Am I pretty?” to which I reply “Well, in Buddha’s eyes, we are all pretty” to which I get a confused look that is a Pyrrhic victory for me. Long story short, Bro’s are drunkenly looking to find someone to “Bro Out” with much like chicks are looking for someone to drunkenly “Whore Out” with. Man, I need to write a book.
FACT: Bros Are Attention Whores
Oy…where do I start with this one? When both are drunk:
Women: I AM SO DRUNK RIGHT NOW!
Bros: I AM SO FUCKED UP RIGHT NOW!
See a parallel? Let’s go again. When both are drunk and hear a marginally popular song:
Women: Oh, this is my song! SHAWTY LET ME BUY YO’ DRAAAAAAANK!
Bros: Shaaaaaa, it’s the Doctor! LA-DEE-DA-DEE-DA! IT’S THE MUTHERFUCKIN D-R-E!
Still not convinced? When confronted about their sexual behavior:
Women: Wha-eva! I am NOT A WHORE!
Bros: Fuck you, bro! I am NOT GAY! No homo over here!
You get the idea. Both women and Bros have to be the center of attention at all times. This has been scientifically proven by me on several occasions whether it be the blowing off of women at the club when I am in conversation (Rick and I did that a couple of times at the Giggly Grizzly and The Loft) and them subsequently getting upset or thinking I and whoever I am with are gay. Also note the pole dancing, the kissing of other women but not being gay, and of course the grinding for no reason. Bros are the loudest, most obnoxious A-holes in the building and usually grind up on women or EACH OTHER while making sure that everyone knows that Bro Phi Bro is in the place to be and they go UCCS Uni-Ver-Si-Tee. If women don’t respond they call her a “bitch” or whatever word in their limited vocabulary they can think to call a woman. Sound familiar? They want the attention, but on their own terms. All the power, none of the responsibility. Yeah, circular reasoning; no holes in my logic.
FACT: Bros Are Totally Insecure
Now this was a difficult one to observe since Bros (much like women) are all sound and fury signifying nothing. Women will say that they don’t need no man and they don’t take shit from anyone…yet will be in a relationship with someone even they call worthless. Behind all that ego and false female pride is an insecure woman that sticks with an unwanted situation because she is afraid of being alone. Now Bros are a different animal because in this case they are more like Emo-kids or Goths. I rarely see Bros by themselves at all and when I do their bravado is turned down to zero. Also, I knew Bros in college and when it was just he and I you wouldn’t even know that he was a bro. But get him at the Ritz or Rumbay and he lost his mind because it was all about the Bro-jamins, baby! A friend of mine (Ethan) in my Women’s Studies and Gerontology classes’ Junior year was a dude that you would never know was a “Bro” because he despised other Bros. He even told me one thing that really made me think:
“The fake-ass Bros here are a step below the Emo-kids because at least the Emo-kids have something they stand for, albeit stupid. A real “Bro” doesn’t call himself a “bro” any-damn way. A “Bro” is just someone who is for everyone understanding each other. Like…hell, hippies that bathe. True Bros don’t call themselves “Bro”, they call everyone else Bro because we are all brothers as in family no matter what your race, religion or gender, man.” (Note: He used to get high…a lot. Deep stuff, he was my road dog since Freshman year)
Ethan and I used to get food in the break 2 hour between the Ethnic Studies and Gerontology classes with some females from the morning Women’s Studies class and debate about stuff like this and you know what? We never lost. Because they ALL dated Bros (Even worse they were “G.I. Bros” which are one of the worst of the worst. I’ll have a post on the kinds of Bros at some point for fun) and when asked why they even STATED it was insecurity of leaving them because they fear what is out there. Ethan (who knew Bros, he was like a Bro Obi-Wan in Wisconsin where he transferred from) even explained that Bros are insecure about being seen as “punks” by women so they act like jerkasses and that some were just born A-holes and becoming a obnoxious Bro was just easy. Just like women who gave it up in high school so when they got to college they said “Well, cant get off the Ho-Train now!” God, I’m going to die alone at this rate.
That is that. Bros are the Chicks of 2007. Now don’t go getting all pissy. Not all women constantly display the four aforementioned traits but from what I have observed and have been told to me, these are the consistent attitudes of women and they transfer almost perfectly to Bros. Oh, one last thing: both Bros and women have like a set of three dance moves they live and die by.
Women: The Drop It, The Over The Shoulder Look/Hip Shake and Anything that causes your eyes to look at their chest (Women aren’t innovators on the dance floor. Ask MC Hammer)
Bros: The Roll The Dice, The Sprinkler and the Kid N’ Play Move (The grabbing of one leg and thrusting. I’m going to call it the “Bro Bro Gadget”)
See, this is why I should call myself a Doctor. I have a Bachelors in Communications and a Minor in Women’s Studies and Sociology. Works for Dr. Orpheus:
If you can’t see the humor in that, there is something wrong with you. I’ll be back up at some point this week, probably with a rant not Bros. Unless it’s the Venture Bros. Go Team Venture!
Chachi Out.
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