Well, since NDK is today, the Countdown will be quite abriviated. However, I gotta give the peeps what they come here for every Friday!
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We begin with a debut from The Queen of the Countdown!
20. Alicia Keys - Superwoman (New Entry)
Alicia Keys is officially back! It has been a minute since “Teenage Love Affair” but she is back in the Top 20! Can she solidify her bid for Artist of the Year?
19. RBD - Empezar Desde Cero (Last Week #15, Plunge of the Week)
FUCK! RBD BROKE UP! WHAT THE FUCK?! Sorry, still pissed.
18. T.I. – Whatever You Like (New Entry)
The King is back! Supposedly “Live Your Life” with Rihanna will be out soon and oddly enough, I am looking forward to it. Until then, the king is back!
17. Hearts Grow – Sora (Last Week #20)
Hearts Grow continues to move up this week as they return to the Countdown. I don’t like Decode, though.
16. Ikimono-Gakari - Bluebird (Last Week #13)
The Naruto bump didn’t seem to help out this video as it falls three places this week.
15. Hyori Lee – Hey Mr. Big! (Last Week #18)
Miss Hyori moves up this week as she continues the big year!
14. Maroon 5 – Goodnight, Goodnight (Last Week #16)
Maroon 5 is slowly and surely moving up this week as they look for their second number one video.
13. Wonder Girls – So Hot (Last Week #11, Two Weeks at #1)
The Wonder Girls are still hanging around, but for how long?
12. UVERworld – Koishikute (Last Week #14)
The World moves up this week as they attempt to recapture the glory of 2006 when they had three number one videos. Love this song!
11. T.I. – No Matter What (Last Week #8, One Week at #1)
T.I’s second video falls from the Top 10 this week. It looks to be a big fall for him….before he goes to jail, I mean.
10. John Legend feat Andre 3000 – Green Light (Last Week #12)
John and Andre Three Stacks crack the Top 10! Arguably the most dominant artist ever teams up with the hottest rapper in the game right now? Guaranteed hit!
9. Kelun – CHU-BURA (Last Week #6, One Week at #1)
BLEACH MOVIE! BLEACH MOVIE! BLEACH MOVIE! Why do Ragiku’s breasts bounce so much in the movies? Not complaining….just saying.
8. Bennie K feat SOFFet – Music Traveler (Last Week #9)
Bennie K moves up a spot this week as they try to follow up the dominance that was “Monochrome.” Riiiiiight. That video was fucking awesome. It’s like following up Labyrinth.
7. Game feat. Lil Wayne – My Life (Last Week #10)
Game and Lil’ Wayne move up this week. You know, I am actually liking that “Official Girl” song from Cassie. I know, I’m shocked too!
6. Yui – Summer Song (Last Week #4)
Yui fails to take the top spot once again! I tell you, 2008 has been kind of a dick to her.
5. FLOW – WORLD END (Last Week #7)
FLOW is back in the Top Five! It has been a HELLA LONG TIME since they have been this high but I tell you it is good to see them back.
4. NERD feat Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pusha-T – Everybody Nose (Remix) (Last Week #5)
*Sigh* seems that Kanye follows up the awesomeness that is “Love Lockdown” with some dipshittery at LAX. You know, you are REALLY trying to make me not like you. Even still, love this video.
3. Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl (Last Week #2)
We are now in the Top Three and Miss Hyori falls a spot this week! Is her reign over with a new video moving up? We will have to see. Damn, she is hot.
2. Fonzworth Bentley feat Andre 3000 & Kanye West – Everybody [Don’t Stop] (Last Week #3)
Well, hell hath frozen over. Fonzworth Bentley is a step away from the number one spot. Yes, I know he has Kanye and Andre 300 but damn! Wasn’t he Diddy’s manservant on Monday?
1. Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On (Last Week #1, Three Weeks at #1)
For the third week in a row, Young Jeezy is holding it down! He and Kanye are making their presence known as they have really dominated this year! Big year for Jeezy, bigger year for Kanye. Congrats!
That is all for this week! Tune in next week for the excitement to see of Young Jeezy can keep his reign going! Or will COLOURS take the top spot? Or can Hyori Lee rebound? See you in seven!
Well, it is NDK TIME BITCHES! I will try to put up a post on Saturday to recap the awesomeness of Friday if I am coherent anyway. Until next time, stay up. And NERDS UNITE ON FRIDAY!
Chachi Out.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
I Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You....But You Can't See Me, Woman!
What is up, peeps?! I am back with a new post because for one I am bored and for two I am still rather pissed off at life. Eh, things should look up soon. At least they better for the sake of the lives of puppies everywhere. Anyway, I was browsing the internet and found MORE bad relationship advice! Wheee! Or it could be good, because all of mine have ended in tears, stalking and a tossed kitten. But still, I felt that these ideas wouldn’t have helped her, let alone any woman. But what do I know, read for yourselves.
Give him a job: Ask him to fix or build you something. Performing concrete tasks is a way of bonding that enhances his sense of success.
Um…..what? Okay, let me get this straight: a way to get a man to fall in love with you….is to make him do things for you? Understand this, bitch. The emancipation proclamation was signed over 200 years ago and I assure you that about 95% of slaves hated good ol’ massa. The last 5%, well they were in need of Catcher Freeman:
See, that last 5% is who that bullshit is for. Now it SHOULD say doing a task together but as we all know, men and women can never be a team, that’s why marriages fail at a 50% clip and there are so many babydaddys out there. This is fucking dumb. Then again, I date like once a fiscal quarter so what do I know?
Ask his opinion. Whether it's about your 401(k) options or the best travel sites, it telegraphs that you value his brain as much as you do his brawn.
I already know I am well beyond your realm of comprehension! On the moon, we are great spellers! There is seriously no need to ask me about shit that is irrelevant. Case in point, while in college a female friend of mine and I were having a discussion on chauvinism and my girlfriend at the time showed up after class and kind of looked…well, lost. So the next day, she wanted to talk politics in a non-election year. Which I was cool with but after about ten minutes I knew she had no idea what she was talking about and really didn’t care about the subject. Now I was supposed to look at that as her wanting to interact and be around me but in the back of my head I thought “Why is she humoring me like this? Does she not think I could just be with her and be happy instead of having her fake like she wants to talk to me?” I kind of let that go and at the end of the day I turned out to be right (She called me a “fucking know-it-all” and said I talked down to her like she was stupid in one of our last arguments) but my thing is this. Ladies, you don’t need to FAKE interest in anything but sex because it is just as awkward for YOU as it is for me. Aside from that, just be you and to pander. Being you is (Hopefully) why we got together in the first place.
Blow him off. Single men hate the idea of being tied down socially, so turn down occasional plans. He'll not only feel easier -- and open up more -- around you, but he'll also start to wonder what you're doing and pursue you more.
Um….okay this is just fucking stupid. To ME anyway. Now I understand that even in a relationship people need space. Hell, when I wanted to do nerd things I didn’t want a female around and I know for A FACT she hated what I liked so I didn’t want her to be McCain’d (It’s funny to me!) just to be in my company. However, look at this LOGICALLY. Ladies, how did you feel when he didn’t call you when he said he would or when you THOUGHT he would (The end all be all of idiocy but some women are just nuts that way. And I LOVE THEM) or better yet when he forgets something that you felt was important but didn’t SAY was important so he spaced on it? Now add up all that rage, all that hurt, all those feelings of being ignored and unappreciated and questioning whether he loves you or not….
AND MULTIPLY THAT BY FIVE.
Feels like shit, doesn’t it? You now know what it feels like when a man makes plans to be with you and you blow him off for the sake of “him being free” or “making him chase you” which at its core is the stupidest thing you can do. It feels like a Falcon PAWNCH:
To the fucking balls. Or in your case, the Cunt Punch. Understand this: everyone wants to be pursued and I completely understand that. It is natural human emotion to want someone to want you. To need someone to need them. Hell, even I want to be wanted. Do you know how many times I wanted someone to do this?:
Well, replace Heath Ledger with Zac Efron or Mandy Moore. I’m not into necrophilia. Oh, come on that shit is funny! Anyway, the idea that single men hate to be tied down socially makes little sense because…if you are dating someone…you want to be around them socially. If I wanted to not be tied down socially I WOULDN’T BE DATING YOU! Therefore, this logic is quite simply an enabler for men to cheat. There, I said it. If you are dumb enough to blow a man off because you want to be pursued, odds are he will just find easier prey to catch. Think about THAT ONE. I am here to help.
Be a social butterfly. Guys are good at left-brain stuff, like sales and sports, but can get awkward when it comes to social graces. Take the lead and charm the people you meet and he'll be extra grateful to have you. But he may take credit for making those new friends... whatever.
WHAT?! Are you fucking serious?! Okay, understand this as well. The myth that women are better in social situations is a fucking MYTH. Has anyone noticed that all this advice is pretty much telling you to not be yourself? So that means that no man will ever love you unless you change. Now I have been from the school of thought that it was MEN that had to change but in both cases, the thought process is wrong. Don’t think about the lack of social graces, think of the social situation you have him in. Whenever I have gone to many a function, whether business or casual, it is the women that are the wallflowers and really have nothing to really say of any consequence. It is the women who are upset to be there because they know no one there and they sit on a couch or by the wall sulking until their boyfriend/husband decides that her attitude is going to get worse the longer he stays so they leave. Social blossoming is determined by the situation and the person. There were times when I was uncomfortable (Like when I went to a certain quasi-girlfriends Mormon get together in Castle Rock….not fun) but at the same time, usually I am the life of the party and down to talk or hang with anyone. Now from a relationship dynamic….my ex HATED all of her friends. Which I never got because they were all cool to me and in some cases were more fun to hang out with (Ended up causing a huge problem, actually. DRAMA!) and even in social settings she hate to be anywhere unless it was someplace she wanted to be. She also hated how I would make the most out of being someplace I didn’t want to be….like bro parties. Aside from dodging the rapes and…well, dodging the rapes the fact she didn’t have to introduce me to people because I already had interacted with them used to piss her off. Wow….cosmic. Anyway, this is bullshit.
Respect his privacy. A physical space that's totally his is a huge symbol of independence to a man. Signal that you respect that by, say, staying out of desk drawers and not peeking at his caller ID when his phone rings.
Is this something that has to be told to people? You know why James Bond, Secret Squirrel and Danger Mouse (Wait, was Danger Mouse a spy?) were so awesome? They were doing something that was FUCKING ILLEGAL! Watergate, ladies?! Read up and then come back. Okay, let’s continue. As one that has had to explain phone bills to an ex that DIDN’T LIVE WITH ME and why I had so many calls to California and Las Vegas (My parents and my best friend) I am a big proponent of LEAVING MY SHIT ALONE. I have never been through a woman’s things, although in retrospect I should have but that is life. Quite simply, what goes on with you is your business and I trust that you aren’t performing acts of vigilante justice under the guise of the night with kick ass weapons and vehicles. If you are….I SO WANT IN. Maybe I am looking at this the wrong way (Which I always am, according to the opposite sex but thems the breaks) but privacy isn’t a PRIVILEDGE in a relationship, the ability to be open should be paramount to whether it works or one of you is going through the other’s messages asking “BITCH, WHO THE FUCK IS JAMAL?!” It isn’t about independence, it is about not being an untrusting snoop. You aren’t Danger Mouse, so quit acting like you are!
Well, that is all for now. I am hella tired so I am about to head to the bed. I will be back Thursday night for the Countdown and some pre-NDK musings. Until then….TWO DAYS UNTIL ANIME NERDS UNITE! You nasty motherfuckers better bathe….
Chachi Out
Give him a job: Ask him to fix or build you something. Performing concrete tasks is a way of bonding that enhances his sense of success.
Um…..what? Okay, let me get this straight: a way to get a man to fall in love with you….is to make him do things for you? Understand this, bitch. The emancipation proclamation was signed over 200 years ago and I assure you that about 95% of slaves hated good ol’ massa. The last 5%, well they were in need of Catcher Freeman:
See, that last 5% is who that bullshit is for. Now it SHOULD say doing a task together but as we all know, men and women can never be a team, that’s why marriages fail at a 50% clip and there are so many babydaddys out there. This is fucking dumb. Then again, I date like once a fiscal quarter so what do I know?
Ask his opinion. Whether it's about your 401(k) options or the best travel sites, it telegraphs that you value his brain as much as you do his brawn.
I already know I am well beyond your realm of comprehension! On the moon, we are great spellers! There is seriously no need to ask me about shit that is irrelevant. Case in point, while in college a female friend of mine and I were having a discussion on chauvinism and my girlfriend at the time showed up after class and kind of looked…well, lost. So the next day, she wanted to talk politics in a non-election year. Which I was cool with but after about ten minutes I knew she had no idea what she was talking about and really didn’t care about the subject. Now I was supposed to look at that as her wanting to interact and be around me but in the back of my head I thought “Why is she humoring me like this? Does she not think I could just be with her and be happy instead of having her fake like she wants to talk to me?” I kind of let that go and at the end of the day I turned out to be right (She called me a “fucking know-it-all” and said I talked down to her like she was stupid in one of our last arguments) but my thing is this. Ladies, you don’t need to FAKE interest in anything but sex because it is just as awkward for YOU as it is for me. Aside from that, just be you and to pander. Being you is (Hopefully) why we got together in the first place.
Blow him off. Single men hate the idea of being tied down socially, so turn down occasional plans. He'll not only feel easier -- and open up more -- around you, but he'll also start to wonder what you're doing and pursue you more.
Um….okay this is just fucking stupid. To ME anyway. Now I understand that even in a relationship people need space. Hell, when I wanted to do nerd things I didn’t want a female around and I know for A FACT she hated what I liked so I didn’t want her to be McCain’d (It’s funny to me!) just to be in my company. However, look at this LOGICALLY. Ladies, how did you feel when he didn’t call you when he said he would or when you THOUGHT he would (The end all be all of idiocy but some women are just nuts that way. And I LOVE THEM) or better yet when he forgets something that you felt was important but didn’t SAY was important so he spaced on it? Now add up all that rage, all that hurt, all those feelings of being ignored and unappreciated and questioning whether he loves you or not….
AND MULTIPLY THAT BY FIVE.
Feels like shit, doesn’t it? You now know what it feels like when a man makes plans to be with you and you blow him off for the sake of “him being free” or “making him chase you” which at its core is the stupidest thing you can do. It feels like a Falcon PAWNCH:
To the fucking balls. Or in your case, the Cunt Punch. Understand this: everyone wants to be pursued and I completely understand that. It is natural human emotion to want someone to want you. To need someone to need them. Hell, even I want to be wanted. Do you know how many times I wanted someone to do this?:
Well, replace Heath Ledger with Zac Efron or Mandy Moore. I’m not into necrophilia. Oh, come on that shit is funny! Anyway, the idea that single men hate to be tied down socially makes little sense because…if you are dating someone…you want to be around them socially. If I wanted to not be tied down socially I WOULDN’T BE DATING YOU! Therefore, this logic is quite simply an enabler for men to cheat. There, I said it. If you are dumb enough to blow a man off because you want to be pursued, odds are he will just find easier prey to catch. Think about THAT ONE. I am here to help.
Be a social butterfly. Guys are good at left-brain stuff, like sales and sports, but can get awkward when it comes to social graces. Take the lead and charm the people you meet and he'll be extra grateful to have you. But he may take credit for making those new friends... whatever.
WHAT?! Are you fucking serious?! Okay, understand this as well. The myth that women are better in social situations is a fucking MYTH. Has anyone noticed that all this advice is pretty much telling you to not be yourself? So that means that no man will ever love you unless you change. Now I have been from the school of thought that it was MEN that had to change but in both cases, the thought process is wrong. Don’t think about the lack of social graces, think of the social situation you have him in. Whenever I have gone to many a function, whether business or casual, it is the women that are the wallflowers and really have nothing to really say of any consequence. It is the women who are upset to be there because they know no one there and they sit on a couch or by the wall sulking until their boyfriend/husband decides that her attitude is going to get worse the longer he stays so they leave. Social blossoming is determined by the situation and the person. There were times when I was uncomfortable (Like when I went to a certain quasi-girlfriends Mormon get together in Castle Rock….not fun) but at the same time, usually I am the life of the party and down to talk or hang with anyone. Now from a relationship dynamic….my ex HATED all of her friends. Which I never got because they were all cool to me and in some cases were more fun to hang out with (Ended up causing a huge problem, actually. DRAMA!) and even in social settings she hate to be anywhere unless it was someplace she wanted to be. She also hated how I would make the most out of being someplace I didn’t want to be….like bro parties. Aside from dodging the rapes and…well, dodging the rapes the fact she didn’t have to introduce me to people because I already had interacted with them used to piss her off. Wow….cosmic. Anyway, this is bullshit.
Respect his privacy. A physical space that's totally his is a huge symbol of independence to a man. Signal that you respect that by, say, staying out of desk drawers and not peeking at his caller ID when his phone rings.
Is this something that has to be told to people? You know why James Bond, Secret Squirrel and Danger Mouse (Wait, was Danger Mouse a spy?) were so awesome? They were doing something that was FUCKING ILLEGAL! Watergate, ladies?! Read up and then come back. Okay, let’s continue. As one that has had to explain phone bills to an ex that DIDN’T LIVE WITH ME and why I had so many calls to California and Las Vegas (My parents and my best friend) I am a big proponent of LEAVING MY SHIT ALONE. I have never been through a woman’s things, although in retrospect I should have but that is life. Quite simply, what goes on with you is your business and I trust that you aren’t performing acts of vigilante justice under the guise of the night with kick ass weapons and vehicles. If you are….I SO WANT IN. Maybe I am looking at this the wrong way (Which I always am, according to the opposite sex but thems the breaks) but privacy isn’t a PRIVILEDGE in a relationship, the ability to be open should be paramount to whether it works or one of you is going through the other’s messages asking “BITCH, WHO THE FUCK IS JAMAL?!” It isn’t about independence, it is about not being an untrusting snoop. You aren’t Danger Mouse, so quit acting like you are!
Well, that is all for now. I am hella tired so I am about to head to the bed. I will be back Thursday night for the Countdown and some pre-NDK musings. Until then….TWO DAYS UNTIL ANIME NERDS UNITE! You nasty motherfuckers better bathe….
Chachi Out
Sunday, September 07, 2008
FALCONS WIN ONE! FALCONS WIN ONE!
The Atlanta Falcons won! We won, we didn’t lose, we won! In your face Jon Kitna! We are well on our way to a 5-11 season, baby! Progress, motherfuckers! We are on the highway to being average! And I’m gonna ride it all night long!
Yes, I know it was against the Detroit Lions and their defense is questionable at best but they racked up a lot of garbage passing yards and Atlanta had a touchdown called back for a hold so overall it was a great performance. Michael Turner had 221 rushing yards and Jerious Norwood looks to be an Eric Dickerson type change of pace from the Earl Campbell “GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY” style of Turner. Once this line gels (This is the first game all five have played together, including the preseason I believe) this running game could be scary. It will let Matt Ryan work his way into learning the system with two capable receivers in Roddy White and Michael Jenkins (Who has been non-fucking-service for about three seasons) and even my personal fave Brian Finneran maybe being healthy enough to pitch in some over the middle Ed McCaffery type help for the young guy. Oh, and I have said it once and I will say it again: when John Abraham is healthy he may be the best defensive end in the fucking league. Three sacks and a rape of Jon Kitna is proof of that, especially since he was doubled the whole game. The thing is….he is never FUCKING HEALTHY. I have played in more Falcons games than he has the last two seasons. It was a great win for young Matt Ryan and if the team continues to play like this….there could be big things in the future for the Dirty Birds! However….they ARE the Atlanta Falcons and they are born to undo themselves. Fans know what I mean. Cautiously optimistic but let’s go, Falcons!
So it’s Nan Desu Kan in five days and if anyone is coming tell me now because it is going to be the fucking SHIT! It’s my fourth year which makes me a senior so I am going all out. Stay tuned for “Chef’s Sexy Dance Party” and “Chef’s Sexy Time Sing-Along” on Friday and Saturday respectively. Request are appreciated. But no fucking Guns ‘N’ Roses or the fucking Eagles. My laptop, and I hate the fucking Eagles! More details as they come. Until then, peace out peeps! And always remember….Chef:
Chachi Out.
Yes, I know it was against the Detroit Lions and their defense is questionable at best but they racked up a lot of garbage passing yards and Atlanta had a touchdown called back for a hold so overall it was a great performance. Michael Turner had 221 rushing yards and Jerious Norwood looks to be an Eric Dickerson type change of pace from the Earl Campbell “GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY” style of Turner. Once this line gels (This is the first game all five have played together, including the preseason I believe) this running game could be scary. It will let Matt Ryan work his way into learning the system with two capable receivers in Roddy White and Michael Jenkins (Who has been non-fucking-service for about three seasons) and even my personal fave Brian Finneran maybe being healthy enough to pitch in some over the middle Ed McCaffery type help for the young guy. Oh, and I have said it once and I will say it again: when John Abraham is healthy he may be the best defensive end in the fucking league. Three sacks and a rape of Jon Kitna is proof of that, especially since he was doubled the whole game. The thing is….he is never FUCKING HEALTHY. I have played in more Falcons games than he has the last two seasons. It was a great win for young Matt Ryan and if the team continues to play like this….there could be big things in the future for the Dirty Birds! However….they ARE the Atlanta Falcons and they are born to undo themselves. Fans know what I mean. Cautiously optimistic but let’s go, Falcons!
So it’s Nan Desu Kan in five days and if anyone is coming tell me now because it is going to be the fucking SHIT! It’s my fourth year which makes me a senior so I am going all out. Stay tuned for “Chef’s Sexy Dance Party” and “Chef’s Sexy Time Sing-Along” on Friday and Saturday respectively. Request are appreciated. But no fucking Guns ‘N’ Roses or the fucking Eagles. My laptop, and I hate the fucking Eagles! More details as they come. Until then, peace out peeps! And always remember….Chef:
Chachi Out.
Friday, September 05, 2008
The Year of the 'Ye
Well, it is Friday so you know what time it is! Bring it on!
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown
We begin this week with a debut from a Countdown mainstay over the last 12 months!
20. Hearts Grow – Sora (New Entry)
We begin with a new video from Hearts Grow! The group that has been trying to avoid giving me an album since the dawn of time is back with a new video! It’s the opening from the “Birdy DECODE” anime which makes no sense but this song is awesome. Personally, its my favorite song from them. GIVE ME A DAMN ALBUM!
19. Game feat Keisha Cole – Pain (Last Week #16, One Week at #1)
Man, after releasing an album last week the Game continues to hold on to the Countdown for another week. He didn’t do Lil Wayne numbers but he pulled in a respectable amount of units. Not that it matters to me, but good job.
18. Hyori Lee – Hey Mr. Big! (New Entry)
Well, well, well! Miss Hye-Yo-Ri is back with another video! I will admit that this wasn’t one of my favorite songs on her album but she saved it with a video that looks like Hyori and the Technicolor Hottie-Coat. Just made that up.
17. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Hot Limit (Last Week #14, Two Weeks at #1)
HAMC has been hanging on for over three and a half months but they fall three big spots this week. Also, right in the nick of time they have a new video out! Can you say timing? I know I can!
16. Maroon 5 – Goodnight, Goodnight (Last Week #20)
So Maroon 5 moves up four big spots this week with their latest video. It has been a hella long time since they have been on the Countdown and they are totally making the most of it. This song makes me a little bit sad….
15. RBD - Empezar Desde Cero (Last Week #12)
RBD HAS BROKEN UP! WHY GOD WHY?!
14. UVERworld – Koishikute (Last Week #19, Biggest Mover)
The World is officially back! With their first ballad in over TWO YEARS they are moving up fast this week, moving up five huge spots this week. Can they break their own drought of not having a number one with this video? We will have to see!
13. Ikimono-Gakari - Bluebird (Last Week #10)
After coming so close to taking the top spot, Ikimono-Gakari falls three spots and out of the Top 10 this week. Can I say that the Naruto: Shippuuden movie looks AWESOME. Someone tell me I am right….please?
12. John Legend feat Andre 3000 – Green Light (Last Week #15)
John Legend is back, dammit! He moves up a modest three spots this week but John usually does take his time on the Countdown. He looks to have the green light to the Top 10, though! Can I also say that Andre 3000 has two of the best verses of the year right now….once again? The man needs an album NOW.
11. Wonder Girls – So Hot (Last Week #7, Two Weeks at #1)
The Wonder Girls wonderful summer looks to be over! They fall four big spots out of the Top 10 as we move on. They have a new video but I am kind of not a fan of it yet. It may grow on me, I don’t know.
10. Game feat. Lil Wayne – My Life (Last Week #13)
The Game is back in the Top Ten! In a shocker, despite his huge year, Lil’ Wayne graces the Countdown for the first time ever. I am not really a Lil’ Wayne stan but I will admit that sometimes he lays it down. This song is carried by Game, though.
9. Bennie K feat SOFFet – Music Traveler (Last Week #11)
Bennie K is back in the Top 10! You know, for a group that puts out videos so sporadically they usually dominate when they do. The test of a true champion.
8. T.I. – No Matter What (Last Week #5, One Week at #1)
T.I. falls three spots this week as I anxiously await the release of Paper Trail in September. On another note, my birthday in 12 days motherfucker! Shawty want gifts!
7. FLOW – WORLD END (Last Week #9)
FLOW is officially back! They move up two spots this week as they look to take their first number one video in over two years. You see, rock isn’t dead at all!
6. Kelun – CHU-BURA (Last Week #3, One Week at #1)
Kelun has fallen from the Top Three this week as we close in on the Top Five. Nothing new from them yet but they have an impressive enough body of work to lay claim to the Rock Artist of the Year Chachi Award. Tune in, the nominees will be up soon!
5. NERD feat Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pusha-T – Everybody Nose (Remix) (Last Week #8)
We start the Top Five with CRS and Pusha T. After dominating all of January and February of this year they are officially back. Also, this is officially the year of Kanye West. You will see what I mean in a minute.
4. Yui – Summer Song (Last Week #2)
After two weeks as runner up, Yui falls ONCE AGAIN without getting her third number one video! It has been a great but rough year for Yui with FOUR number two videos for a combined stay of 7 weeks. Now we are down to three!
3. Fonzworth Bentley feat Andre 3000 & Kanye West – Everybody [Don’t Stop] (Last Week #6)
Wow, the world is a-changing. Fonzworth Bentley has moved up into the Top Three with help from some friends. And by some friends I mean some real star power in Kanye West (He’s back!) and Andre 3000 (He is also back!). If this video doesn’t take off nationwide it proves that none of you know good music. This song is the mad notes!
2. Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl (Last Week #4)
The princess is one step away from being the queen! Miss Hyorish herself (I really don’t like that name) moves up two big spots this week even with another video debuting! Can she be the first Korean solo artist to have a number one video? Not even RAIN has had a number one video! To do so, she will have to unseat the reigning champ…
1. Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
The Snowman and Don Louis Vitton hold it down for a second week! Also, Young Jeezy’s album is in stores now! Pick it up, fools! Jeezy and Kanye officially have the hottest song of the summer if not all year and the video is something I like to call “teh awesomeness.” One of the few times rap makes you think. Congrats guys!
That is all for this week! Tune in next week to see if Young Jeezy and Kanye can put it on the Countdown for a third week in a row! Or can Hyori Lee take the top spot back for the ladies? Look out for Fonsworth Bentley, He is looking to make everybody believe that he can be number one! See you in seven!
Well, I am out. Maybe some movies and drinking later but aside from that I will see you all next time.
Chachi Out
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown
We begin this week with a debut from a Countdown mainstay over the last 12 months!
20. Hearts Grow – Sora (New Entry)
We begin with a new video from Hearts Grow! The group that has been trying to avoid giving me an album since the dawn of time is back with a new video! It’s the opening from the “Birdy DECODE” anime which makes no sense but this song is awesome. Personally, its my favorite song from them. GIVE ME A DAMN ALBUM!
19. Game feat Keisha Cole – Pain (Last Week #16, One Week at #1)
Man, after releasing an album last week the Game continues to hold on to the Countdown for another week. He didn’t do Lil Wayne numbers but he pulled in a respectable amount of units. Not that it matters to me, but good job.
18. Hyori Lee – Hey Mr. Big! (New Entry)
Well, well, well! Miss Hye-Yo-Ri is back with another video! I will admit that this wasn’t one of my favorite songs on her album but she saved it with a video that looks like Hyori and the Technicolor Hottie-Coat. Just made that up.
17. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Hot Limit (Last Week #14, Two Weeks at #1)
HAMC has been hanging on for over three and a half months but they fall three big spots this week. Also, right in the nick of time they have a new video out! Can you say timing? I know I can!
16. Maroon 5 – Goodnight, Goodnight (Last Week #20)
So Maroon 5 moves up four big spots this week with their latest video. It has been a hella long time since they have been on the Countdown and they are totally making the most of it. This song makes me a little bit sad….
15. RBD - Empezar Desde Cero (Last Week #12)
RBD HAS BROKEN UP! WHY GOD WHY?!
14. UVERworld – Koishikute (Last Week #19, Biggest Mover)
The World is officially back! With their first ballad in over TWO YEARS they are moving up fast this week, moving up five huge spots this week. Can they break their own drought of not having a number one with this video? We will have to see!
13. Ikimono-Gakari - Bluebird (Last Week #10)
After coming so close to taking the top spot, Ikimono-Gakari falls three spots and out of the Top 10 this week. Can I say that the Naruto: Shippuuden movie looks AWESOME. Someone tell me I am right….please?
12. John Legend feat Andre 3000 – Green Light (Last Week #15)
John Legend is back, dammit! He moves up a modest three spots this week but John usually does take his time on the Countdown. He looks to have the green light to the Top 10, though! Can I also say that Andre 3000 has two of the best verses of the year right now….once again? The man needs an album NOW.
11. Wonder Girls – So Hot (Last Week #7, Two Weeks at #1)
The Wonder Girls wonderful summer looks to be over! They fall four big spots out of the Top 10 as we move on. They have a new video but I am kind of not a fan of it yet. It may grow on me, I don’t know.
10. Game feat. Lil Wayne – My Life (Last Week #13)
The Game is back in the Top Ten! In a shocker, despite his huge year, Lil’ Wayne graces the Countdown for the first time ever. I am not really a Lil’ Wayne stan but I will admit that sometimes he lays it down. This song is carried by Game, though.
9. Bennie K feat SOFFet – Music Traveler (Last Week #11)
Bennie K is back in the Top 10! You know, for a group that puts out videos so sporadically they usually dominate when they do. The test of a true champion.
8. T.I. – No Matter What (Last Week #5, One Week at #1)
T.I. falls three spots this week as I anxiously await the release of Paper Trail in September. On another note, my birthday in 12 days motherfucker! Shawty want gifts!
7. FLOW – WORLD END (Last Week #9)
FLOW is officially back! They move up two spots this week as they look to take their first number one video in over two years. You see, rock isn’t dead at all!
6. Kelun – CHU-BURA (Last Week #3, One Week at #1)
Kelun has fallen from the Top Three this week as we close in on the Top Five. Nothing new from them yet but they have an impressive enough body of work to lay claim to the Rock Artist of the Year Chachi Award. Tune in, the nominees will be up soon!
5. NERD feat Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pusha-T – Everybody Nose (Remix) (Last Week #8)
We start the Top Five with CRS and Pusha T. After dominating all of January and February of this year they are officially back. Also, this is officially the year of Kanye West. You will see what I mean in a minute.
4. Yui – Summer Song (Last Week #2)
After two weeks as runner up, Yui falls ONCE AGAIN without getting her third number one video! It has been a great but rough year for Yui with FOUR number two videos for a combined stay of 7 weeks. Now we are down to three!
3. Fonzworth Bentley feat Andre 3000 & Kanye West – Everybody [Don’t Stop] (Last Week #6)
Wow, the world is a-changing. Fonzworth Bentley has moved up into the Top Three with help from some friends. And by some friends I mean some real star power in Kanye West (He’s back!) and Andre 3000 (He is also back!). If this video doesn’t take off nationwide it proves that none of you know good music. This song is the mad notes!
2. Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl (Last Week #4)
The princess is one step away from being the queen! Miss Hyorish herself (I really don’t like that name) moves up two big spots this week even with another video debuting! Can she be the first Korean solo artist to have a number one video? Not even RAIN has had a number one video! To do so, she will have to unseat the reigning champ…
1. Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
The Snowman and Don Louis Vitton hold it down for a second week! Also, Young Jeezy’s album is in stores now! Pick it up, fools! Jeezy and Kanye officially have the hottest song of the summer if not all year and the video is something I like to call “teh awesomeness.” One of the few times rap makes you think. Congrats guys!
That is all for this week! Tune in next week to see if Young Jeezy and Kanye can put it on the Countdown for a third week in a row! Or can Hyori Lee take the top spot back for the ladies? Look out for Fonsworth Bentley, He is looking to make everybody believe that he can be number one! See you in seven!
Well, I am out. Maybe some movies and drinking later but aside from that I will see you all next time.
Chachi Out
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Black People With Books: Scarier Than A Nigga With A Gun?
So I already knew that Lynn "I Have Never Been Involved In Any Way Shape Or Form Of Niggerdom" Westmoreland from my state of Georgia wasnt a fan of the...well, anyone that ain't White. We all know that. But when I heard he said this about Barack & Michelle Obama:
"Just from what little I’ve seen of her and Mr. Obama, Sen. Obama, they're a member of an elitist-class individual that thinks that they're uppity,"
I kind of said to myself: What kind of douchebag fuckwit says uppity anyway?" I will tell you.
Lynn Westmoreland.
I am really.....really getting sick of this bullshit. You dont like the man? Fine. You think his politics and stances suck? You are correct and I am a supporter. But focus on the damn issues. Maybe he is uppity because he is smarter than you. Ever thought of that? Sorry that we are shucking and jiving for your bitch ass anymore while playing a banjo and spitting watermelon seeds. God forbid a nigra run for the highest office in the land and not refer to John McCain as "massa" while singing "My Old Kentucy Home":
All that fancy Ivy league book readin' done went to that darkies head! I'm pretty uppity my damn self so eat a dick, Lynn. I hope you choke on it. There are a lot of us and we sure as fuck aint going back to the field. FIGHT THE POWER!
Wow....Flavor Flav used to be in Public Enemy? I totally blocked that out after the whole Surreal Life fiasco. *sigh* we need more Chuck D's in the world. A little less about killing White people and more about uplifiting all people but still.
Oh, and Lynn just for the record Barack Obama is half White so he isn't uppity. He is just channeling his inner whitey.
Chachi Out.
"Just from what little I’ve seen of her and Mr. Obama, Sen. Obama, they're a member of an elitist-class individual that thinks that they're uppity,"
I kind of said to myself: What kind of douchebag fuckwit says uppity anyway?" I will tell you.
Lynn Westmoreland.
I am really.....really getting sick of this bullshit. You dont like the man? Fine. You think his politics and stances suck? You are correct and I am a supporter. But focus on the damn issues. Maybe he is uppity because he is smarter than you. Ever thought of that? Sorry that we are shucking and jiving for your bitch ass anymore while playing a banjo and spitting watermelon seeds. God forbid a nigra run for the highest office in the land and not refer to John McCain as "massa" while singing "My Old Kentucy Home":
All that fancy Ivy league book readin' done went to that darkies head! I'm pretty uppity my damn self so eat a dick, Lynn. I hope you choke on it. There are a lot of us and we sure as fuck aint going back to the field. FIGHT THE POWER!
Wow....Flavor Flav used to be in Public Enemy? I totally blocked that out after the whole Surreal Life fiasco. *sigh* we need more Chuck D's in the world. A little less about killing White people and more about uplifiting all people but still.
Oh, and Lynn just for the record Barack Obama is half White so he isn't uppity. He is just channeling his inner whitey.
Chachi Out.
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
God May Bless The Little Children, I Say Fuck Off. The Future Is NOW.
What is up, people! I am back on the scene and I want to talk about two things in one. One is something that until this year I really shied away from because I didn’t care and that is politics. I was completely disillusioned and a registered Independent (W00T!) due to the ineptitude of the Democrats and the utter and complete worthlessness (And unadulterated evil and blatant Jesus cocksucking) of the Republicans. That was until I saw Barack Obama’s keynote speech at the Democratic National Convention. I remember watching (And fearing John Kerry’s speech because I knew it would be teh suck)Obama on TV after knowing a good bit about him (My mom’s family is from the southside of Chicago and always talked about him so I knew a lot of his record and stances) and saying “You know, we don’t agree on a lot but if he ran I would vote for him” but I knew that Blacks running for President never ended well if you was “Deep Impact” or “24.” But here we are four years or so later and Barack Obama is on track to maybe be the first Black (Or 43rd White, which no one wants to look at but White people are fucktards and Black people are asshats so I have gotten used to both fucking shit up) President and I give a shit about politics again.
The second part of today’s blog is going to be abortion. As you all know, I LOVE me some abortions. I think they should be given out to women like extra honey packets at Popeye’s Chicken because for me it is the best of both worlds. It pisses of the religious right (You know every time Jesus cries from a woman having an abortion, I have an orgasm. It’s totally true! The tears of Jesus are delicious and taste GREAT in a White Russian!) because they think that God is still relevant in these days and times when I can get porn on my CELL PHONE and of course it pisses off women because they can’t agree on what makes a whore (Hint: The answer usually involves or is completely “Not me!”) let alone when life begins. I may say a lot of things on this blog that may make it look like I am against everyone and everything that isn’t Pedo Bear approved (Unlike Bristol Palin. PEDO BEAR DO WANT….if she hadn’t already been had). However, I believe that abortion ISN’T murder even though I can’t have one and haven’t had to make the decision. With that being said, it seems the news is all over Sarah Palin right now and while I knew VERY LITTLE about her because Alaska is only one inbred child away from being the South (No time to fuck our own family! There are moose everywhere just waiting for a hot Alaska dicking!) so I really don’t care. However, people are making a big deal about how her daughter is pregnant and while I personally think that she should listen to my advice to the Africans (STOP FUCKING) I must say that this is neither a political talking point (Although I am not letting go of the fact it is her SECOND daughter because Sarah faked the first one as hers but that is neither here nor there) nor is it “brave” as the Bible sodomizing Evangelicals would lead you to believe. It is just a teenager being stupid and despite knowing where babies come from decided to roll the dice and have sex anyway and got the worst STD around: KID.
However, this did give me a good reason to go ahead and do a post about my favorite offending topic: how much I love abortions. So, it is time to bring back something old school! It is time for…
Chachi’s Reasons Why…..Abortions Are Awesome!
Reason #1: Abortions Are Awesome Because….It Pisses Everyone But Me Off
Now if you read this blog with any frequency you know that I pretty much will say anything and everything that is on my mind at all points and times. So you KNOW that about 75% of what I say will offend someone because:
1. People are sensitive fuckwits that don’t understand it is the WORLD WIDE FUCKING WEB and they can find something else to look at.
2. I really don’t fall in line with others on my views on issues.
So with that being said, when I was in college I was (And still am) totally pro-choice. Not because I necessarily believe it should be a woman’s right as much as I believe that it is your gullyhole and what goes in or comes out (Repeat as needed depending on your level of whoredom) is your fool ass business. Now I never used to care about it in terms of the actual “religious” argument until I got to Colorado because Colorado loves Jesus more than I hate his hippie Jew ass. The first time I heard that abortion was murder in my first Women’s Studies class. I laughed for about half a minute. Then I looked at her and that bitch was dead serious and I responded with “Abortions are like throwing out clay. Yes it is a waste but it hasn’t become anything yet so it is a wash.” Needless to say, she freaked. Now the pro-choice females in class were offended while Jon (My best friend and quasi-roommate at the time) laughed his ASS OFF. Now I have never been about the argument “It’s my body!” because it is your body when you want to kill a baby but when you get drunk and spread like the West Virginia option and come to and say “your body” was violated you honestly can’t have it both ways and not be a dumbass for both scenarios. Think about it, it makes sense. Or not, I am in dire need of some soju. Now people want you to be for abortion because it is a woman’s right or against it because it is murder. Well, I am for it because I hate babies and Jesus. As for baby Jesus….I’m neutral.
Reason #2: Abortions Are Awesome Because….It Stops Loveless Marriages And Traumatized Children
You see, I have known several people that have only gotten married because of the accidental creation of a child. You know how often those marriages have lasted? I know of only one. Now you have a child traumatized because the mother now hates men and the father now hates the mother and so that kid is fucked up and will either end up stripping on the pole or trying to mug an old lady. Slippery slope I will admit but for the sake of this post I will go there because it is totally against my stance that 75% of people are worthless anyway with or without a two parent home. Understand this; I am not saying that abortion should be used as a birth control for women that can’t stop fucking or men that can’t stop fucking said women. Let’s be honest here. How many of you have played Prince of Persia: Sands of Time? Remember the rewind button when you fell off a wall or did…anything in that fucking game?:
I am not saying that abortion is the Prince of Persia rewind button. But should you lose out on a speed run because decided to have sex with a random person or just know that you aren’t mentally fit to be a parent? Call me cruel….but I don’t think so.
More reasons to come later, I needs me some of that stuff they call the sleep. Until next time (Odds are Thursday unless it is Nerd-Out night again in which Saturday will be it not counting the Countdown) stay up ya’ll.
Chachi Out.
The second part of today’s blog is going to be abortion. As you all know, I LOVE me some abortions. I think they should be given out to women like extra honey packets at Popeye’s Chicken because for me it is the best of both worlds. It pisses of the religious right (You know every time Jesus cries from a woman having an abortion, I have an orgasm. It’s totally true! The tears of Jesus are delicious and taste GREAT in a White Russian!) because they think that God is still relevant in these days and times when I can get porn on my CELL PHONE and of course it pisses off women because they can’t agree on what makes a whore (Hint: The answer usually involves or is completely “Not me!”) let alone when life begins. I may say a lot of things on this blog that may make it look like I am against everyone and everything that isn’t Pedo Bear approved (Unlike Bristol Palin. PEDO BEAR DO WANT….if she hadn’t already been had). However, I believe that abortion ISN’T murder even though I can’t have one and haven’t had to make the decision. With that being said, it seems the news is all over Sarah Palin right now and while I knew VERY LITTLE about her because Alaska is only one inbred child away from being the South (No time to fuck our own family! There are moose everywhere just waiting for a hot Alaska dicking!) so I really don’t care. However, people are making a big deal about how her daughter is pregnant and while I personally think that she should listen to my advice to the Africans (STOP FUCKING) I must say that this is neither a political talking point (Although I am not letting go of the fact it is her SECOND daughter because Sarah faked the first one as hers but that is neither here nor there) nor is it “brave” as the Bible sodomizing Evangelicals would lead you to believe. It is just a teenager being stupid and despite knowing where babies come from decided to roll the dice and have sex anyway and got the worst STD around: KID.
However, this did give me a good reason to go ahead and do a post about my favorite offending topic: how much I love abortions. So, it is time to bring back something old school! It is time for…
Chachi’s Reasons Why…..Abortions Are Awesome!
Reason #1: Abortions Are Awesome Because….It Pisses Everyone But Me Off
Now if you read this blog with any frequency you know that I pretty much will say anything and everything that is on my mind at all points and times. So you KNOW that about 75% of what I say will offend someone because:
1. People are sensitive fuckwits that don’t understand it is the WORLD WIDE FUCKING WEB and they can find something else to look at.
2. I really don’t fall in line with others on my views on issues.
So with that being said, when I was in college I was (And still am) totally pro-choice. Not because I necessarily believe it should be a woman’s right as much as I believe that it is your gullyhole and what goes in or comes out (Repeat as needed depending on your level of whoredom) is your fool ass business. Now I never used to care about it in terms of the actual “religious” argument until I got to Colorado because Colorado loves Jesus more than I hate his hippie Jew ass. The first time I heard that abortion was murder in my first Women’s Studies class. I laughed for about half a minute. Then I looked at her and that bitch was dead serious and I responded with “Abortions are like throwing out clay. Yes it is a waste but it hasn’t become anything yet so it is a wash.” Needless to say, she freaked. Now the pro-choice females in class were offended while Jon (My best friend and quasi-roommate at the time) laughed his ASS OFF. Now I have never been about the argument “It’s my body!” because it is your body when you want to kill a baby but when you get drunk and spread like the West Virginia option and come to and say “your body” was violated you honestly can’t have it both ways and not be a dumbass for both scenarios. Think about it, it makes sense. Or not, I am in dire need of some soju. Now people want you to be for abortion because it is a woman’s right or against it because it is murder. Well, I am for it because I hate babies and Jesus. As for baby Jesus….I’m neutral.
Reason #2: Abortions Are Awesome Because….It Stops Loveless Marriages And Traumatized Children
You see, I have known several people that have only gotten married because of the accidental creation of a child. You know how often those marriages have lasted? I know of only one. Now you have a child traumatized because the mother now hates men and the father now hates the mother and so that kid is fucked up and will either end up stripping on the pole or trying to mug an old lady. Slippery slope I will admit but for the sake of this post I will go there because it is totally against my stance that 75% of people are worthless anyway with or without a two parent home. Understand this; I am not saying that abortion should be used as a birth control for women that can’t stop fucking or men that can’t stop fucking said women. Let’s be honest here. How many of you have played Prince of Persia: Sands of Time? Remember the rewind button when you fell off a wall or did…anything in that fucking game?:
I am not saying that abortion is the Prince of Persia rewind button. But should you lose out on a speed run because decided to have sex with a random person or just know that you aren’t mentally fit to be a parent? Call me cruel….but I don’t think so.
More reasons to come later, I needs me some of that stuff they call the sleep. Until next time (Odds are Thursday unless it is Nerd-Out night again in which Saturday will be it not counting the Countdown) stay up ya’ll.
Chachi Out.
Monday, September 01, 2008
Labor Day: Making People Think The Government Gives A Shit About You Since 1882
I am back, bitches!! It is time for another installment of….
Random Thoughts
I Still Hate Mac Commercials
Yeah, these are still pissing me off. I am curious about how much Apple spends on these ads because at the end of the day the only people that buy Macs are:
• People that use its software (Garage Band and all the other gay shit)
• Mouth breathers (You know who you are)
• Yearbook (Yeah, I can understand why but still. I was SO LAME!)
• Pretentious cockmongers that think having a Mac is tres cool because it is the computer of Euro fags and celeb fuckwits everywhere.
If you don’t fall into one of these categories and you own a Mac then you are just a believer in hype or a hippie ass college student. You know, I don’t really have an issue with the Mac as much as I despise Mac users. I mean you can literally tell a Mac user because they all look like this:
See, odds are this asshole claims to be “green” and all about the planet and giving up “material goods” but has a Mac, a Prius (Which is American for FAGMONATRON!), an iPod and all the other things that pretentious, hippie douches own to show how much of a free spirit they are. The fact is that if you have a Mac because you think it is hip then you are a fuckwit. End of story.
I Love Money! And I Am Ashamed….
So “I Love Money” may just be the worst show on TV that I really have to watch. I mean it pretty much proves everything I have been saying about women (and men, for that matter) for years when it comes to money and attention: everyone’s got a price:
I love how women will either defend their actions of dumbing down American TV or just say they aren’t like them. Well, if Black people have to claim 50 Cent then women have to claim attention whores. Thems the rules and it is why you will never be president.
Dane Cook Really Isn’t All That Fucking Funny
You know, I have never really understood the whole love with Dane Cook because I never really found his jokes funny. Without funny jokes, his stand up routine is like the San Diego Chargers of last year with Hillary Duff at quarterback tried and true system screwed up by a lack of talent and execution at the most important point: delivery. Dane Cook takes really average jokes and makes them average….but animated. Over animated. I am talking “One Piece” over animated:
What makes it even worse is that people repeat his jokes ad nauseum worse than the Chappelle Show jokes but the Chappelle Show was funny. Dane Cook jokes are like DMX raps: only any good when he says them because the delivery is so jacked. However, Dane Cook’s delivery sucks teh balls and he is NO DMX. AYO, MOTHERFUCKER!!
Women’s Rights…..Eh, Why Not? They Can't Seem To Dodge Them....(BURN!)
So can I just say that I am really…..really getting tired of people bitching and placing bullshit religious meaning to shit like abortion and marriage? Fuck the Bible, it shouldn’t be a relevant text about shit IN THE GOD DAMNED FUTURE. Catholics are out of date and so is the word of that book. Seriously, who gives a fuck when life begins? As far as I am concerned life begins when that little shit can be a valuable member of society. And since kids are little demon spawn until they hit old enough to be beaten (Which I say is as soon as they say their first words but that is FROWNED UPON by shitheads and fucktards alike) a child means jack shit to me. Therefore, if a woman wants to have a mass of wasted talent ripped from her uterus like the pride of Michigan alumni right now (You lost to fucking MORMONS!) I am totally cool with that. It aint my body and I aint fuck you so knock yourself out. Baby removals for all! Seriously, I don’t care if you think it is wrong or you think God doesn’t approve (Have you READ the Bible? He doesn’t approve of shit except him being a dick) the simple fact is that it isn’t your choice to make so shut the fuck up. Making it illegal means you are going to have more scenes like Dirty Dancing or Sarah Palin’s dumb ass covering up for her knocked up daughter because she wouldn’t just let her leave that baby in the fucking wilderness. Two words for you, Sarah…Jungle Book. Mowgli turned out just fine!
Singing and dancing and such. That would be AWESOME. Now you have a bastard baby with Downs Syndrome when you could have had a kick ass dancing baby that got down with jungle animals. I am SO voting for Obama. That man is the Simba of the Democratic Party.
IN THE CIRRRRRRCLLLLLLLEEEEE…..THE CIRCLE OF LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE YEAH!
No Elton John in the Republican Party. They hate the gays. Speaking of gays, who REALLY gives a fuck if they get married. If someone can give me a reason that homosexicals shouldn’t be married without using the line “It’s a sin in the bible” or “It’s an aberration” then I will still not give a fuck but at least I will TRY to respect you. Two dudes get married, why do you care? I don’t care when two ugly redneck people get married. Hell, it’s just as fucking bad! What is even worse is they can reproduce while gays (Who are scientifically smarter than straights. Their minds aren’t preoccupied with the things straight people think about) cannot! So you would rather have dipshits get married that can’t even fill out a marriage certificate without a fucking template but you won’t let a boyfriend and boyfriend (or the less sassy girlfriend and girlfriend) enjoy the world of marriage? You are a fucktard if you say yes. Remember, Britney and K-Fed were legally allowed to marry while Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi were not (For a while, anyway. Boston is FAB-YOU-LOUS!) and that is right in the eyes of God? Well I hate to break it to you but Jesus was gay. There, I said it. Speaking of Jesus…
Stop Saying “Jesus Take The Wheel”
Seriously, Jesus can’t drive with his hands and feet in the condition they are in LET ALONE TAKE THE FUCKING WHEEL.
And on that note, I am sure I offended SOMEONE so my job is done. Enjoy your Labor Day weekend and in 17 days I EXPECT GIFTS, MOTHERFUCKERS.
Chachi Out.
Random Thoughts
I Still Hate Mac Commercials
Yeah, these are still pissing me off. I am curious about how much Apple spends on these ads because at the end of the day the only people that buy Macs are:
• People that use its software (Garage Band and all the other gay shit)
• Mouth breathers (You know who you are)
• Yearbook (Yeah, I can understand why but still. I was SO LAME!)
• Pretentious cockmongers that think having a Mac is tres cool because it is the computer of Euro fags and celeb fuckwits everywhere.
If you don’t fall into one of these categories and you own a Mac then you are just a believer in hype or a hippie ass college student. You know, I don’t really have an issue with the Mac as much as I despise Mac users. I mean you can literally tell a Mac user because they all look like this:
See, odds are this asshole claims to be “green” and all about the planet and giving up “material goods” but has a Mac, a Prius (Which is American for FAGMONATRON!), an iPod and all the other things that pretentious, hippie douches own to show how much of a free spirit they are. The fact is that if you have a Mac because you think it is hip then you are a fuckwit. End of story.
I Love Money! And I Am Ashamed….
So “I Love Money” may just be the worst show on TV that I really have to watch. I mean it pretty much proves everything I have been saying about women (and men, for that matter) for years when it comes to money and attention: everyone’s got a price:
I love how women will either defend their actions of dumbing down American TV or just say they aren’t like them. Well, if Black people have to claim 50 Cent then women have to claim attention whores. Thems the rules and it is why you will never be president.
Dane Cook Really Isn’t All That Fucking Funny
You know, I have never really understood the whole love with Dane Cook because I never really found his jokes funny. Without funny jokes, his stand up routine is like the San Diego Chargers of last year with Hillary Duff at quarterback tried and true system screwed up by a lack of talent and execution at the most important point: delivery. Dane Cook takes really average jokes and makes them average….but animated. Over animated. I am talking “One Piece” over animated:
What makes it even worse is that people repeat his jokes ad nauseum worse than the Chappelle Show jokes but the Chappelle Show was funny. Dane Cook jokes are like DMX raps: only any good when he says them because the delivery is so jacked. However, Dane Cook’s delivery sucks teh balls and he is NO DMX. AYO, MOTHERFUCKER!!
Women’s Rights…..Eh, Why Not? They Can't Seem To Dodge Them....(BURN!)
So can I just say that I am really…..really getting tired of people bitching and placing bullshit religious meaning to shit like abortion and marriage? Fuck the Bible, it shouldn’t be a relevant text about shit IN THE GOD DAMNED FUTURE. Catholics are out of date and so is the word of that book. Seriously, who gives a fuck when life begins? As far as I am concerned life begins when that little shit can be a valuable member of society. And since kids are little demon spawn until they hit old enough to be beaten (Which I say is as soon as they say their first words but that is FROWNED UPON by shitheads and fucktards alike) a child means jack shit to me. Therefore, if a woman wants to have a mass of wasted talent ripped from her uterus like the pride of Michigan alumni right now (You lost to fucking MORMONS!) I am totally cool with that. It aint my body and I aint fuck you so knock yourself out. Baby removals for all! Seriously, I don’t care if you think it is wrong or you think God doesn’t approve (Have you READ the Bible? He doesn’t approve of shit except him being a dick) the simple fact is that it isn’t your choice to make so shut the fuck up. Making it illegal means you are going to have more scenes like Dirty Dancing or Sarah Palin’s dumb ass covering up for her knocked up daughter because she wouldn’t just let her leave that baby in the fucking wilderness. Two words for you, Sarah…Jungle Book. Mowgli turned out just fine!
Singing and dancing and such. That would be AWESOME. Now you have a bastard baby with Downs Syndrome when you could have had a kick ass dancing baby that got down with jungle animals. I am SO voting for Obama. That man is the Simba of the Democratic Party.
IN THE CIRRRRRRCLLLLLLLEEEEE…..THE CIRCLE OF LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE YEAH!
No Elton John in the Republican Party. They hate the gays. Speaking of gays, who REALLY gives a fuck if they get married. If someone can give me a reason that homosexicals shouldn’t be married without using the line “It’s a sin in the bible” or “It’s an aberration” then I will still not give a fuck but at least I will TRY to respect you. Two dudes get married, why do you care? I don’t care when two ugly redneck people get married. Hell, it’s just as fucking bad! What is even worse is they can reproduce while gays (Who are scientifically smarter than straights. Their minds aren’t preoccupied with the things straight people think about) cannot! So you would rather have dipshits get married that can’t even fill out a marriage certificate without a fucking template but you won’t let a boyfriend and boyfriend (or the less sassy girlfriend and girlfriend) enjoy the world of marriage? You are a fucktard if you say yes. Remember, Britney and K-Fed were legally allowed to marry while Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi were not (For a while, anyway. Boston is FAB-YOU-LOUS!) and that is right in the eyes of God? Well I hate to break it to you but Jesus was gay. There, I said it. Speaking of Jesus…
Stop Saying “Jesus Take The Wheel”
Seriously, Jesus can’t drive with his hands and feet in the condition they are in LET ALONE TAKE THE FUCKING WHEEL.
And on that note, I am sure I offended SOMEONE so my job is done. Enjoy your Labor Day weekend and in 17 days I EXPECT GIFTS, MOTHERFUCKERS.
Chachi Out.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Blowin In Like Chicago Wind....
What is up, peeps? Interesting week, rather pissed off but that is life. It is time for the Friday staple and you know what it is. If you don’t and it is your first time here, kick back and find out the twenty biggest videos in the world!
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
First I want to bring something back I haven’t done in over a year I believe. Hell, it may be a year in a half. Here are the videos that just debuted and almost made it on this week as I give you…
BOILING UNDER!!
Hearts Grow – Sora
FUCK YES! I can honestly say that this is my favorite Hearts Grow song yet! I am a huge fan of them (Ever since “Road” which was a gem) and I am pissy about no album but….you can’t win them all
Hyori Lee – Hey, Mr. Big!
Um….yeah she is hot. I mean very hot. I may need to grab some soju and watch this one. This is one of those songs on the album that sounded good but I didn’t think it would be a good video. Man, I was SO wrong on that one.
Now, let’s begin with a debut from a group that has been gone for over 17 months!
20. Maroon 5 – Goodnight, Goodnight (New Entry)
We begin this week with a debut video from Maroon 5. It has been WELL OVER A YEAR since we have last seen them on here when they hit number one with “Makes Me Wonder” in spring of 2007. You know, they always have very good videos and this is no exception. Adam Levine kind of scares me, but who doesn’t at this age?
19. UVERworld – Koishikute (New Entry)
THE WORLD IS BACK! POWER BALLAD, BITCHES! UVERworld FINALLY gives us a ballad after several lackluster rock videos (Although “Roots” had its moments) and dammit it is about time! The translation of this song, which I had to look up because I would still be on the first three lines had I not because my Japanese SUCKS, is so sad but so AWESOME. You know, this could be their best video yet. Better than SHAMROCK!
18. Paramore – That’s What You Get (Last Week #14, Two Weeks at #1)
So Paramore ends the summer with a number one video and arguably the biggest rock video of the year not by HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR. It should be an interesting battle for the Rock Video of the Year Chachi Award between them.
17. New Kids On The Block - Summertime (Last Week #15)
NKOTB falls this week as summertime comes to an end. Also, a new video with (Ugh…) Akon is coming soon and I have to say….I like the song. Don’t like Akon though.
16. Game feat Keisha Cole – Pain (Last Week #12, One Week at #1) [Plunge of the Week]
The Year of Game continues as he broke his drought of not having a number one video with this one. “LAX” just hit the streets and I will have to pick it up when I get paid because it is the best West Coast album I have heard since DJ Quik’s “Under Tha Influence” which is an unheralded classic.
15. John Legend feat Andre 3000 – Green Light (New Entry)
HELL YES! John it is about damn time you made a fricking video for this song! First off, the more Andre 3000 the better. Secondly, it has been a while since John graced us with his presence and even LONGER (If ever?) he gave us a dance track. Even Stevie got down, baby! Welcome back! BTW, second highest debut ever on the Countdown. Just an FYI.
14. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Hot Limit (Last Week #11, Two Weeks at #1)
So HAMC falls another three spots this week. It has been a pretty big year for them but they have slowed a bit in the last few months. Here is to them ending strong.
13. Game feat. Lil Wayne – My Life (Last Week #20, Biggest Mover)
It’s time to play the Game! Game and Lil’ Wayne move up a HUGE seven spots this week as we near the Chachi Music & Video Awards (Coming in November, by the way! Nominees coming soon!). I have had this song on for about a month and this video has grown on me despite all the red. What can I say, I am anti-gang.
12. RBD - Empezar Desde Cero (Last Week #9)
RBD falls from the Top 10 for the first time in over a month and a half as they fail once again to take number one. I smell a Best Pop Group nod….
11. Bennie K feat SOFFet – Music Traveler (Last Week #16)
Bennie K is travelling upward once again! After a pretty long hiatus (Not as long as Maroon 5 or Namie Amuro HINT HINT!) they are back and moving toward the top! They were on the verge of being a one video wonder (See: UGK) but they followed it up with a great one here. Bennie K is always experimenting and this one is no different. Great stuff!
10. Ikimono-Gakari - Bluebird (Last Week #7)
We are into the Top 10 and we begin with Ikimono-Gakari! They are steadily falling downward after coming so close to taking the top spot. Will they follow it up with another huge video? Also, I WANT TO SEE THE NARUTO MOVIE!!!
9. FLOW – WORLD END (Last Week #13)
FLOW is back! After over a year and a half away, they are back in the Top 10! I haven’t really liked Code Geass (Not even the new season) but this song is tits and this video is great. New album, anyone?
8. NERD feat Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pusha-T – Everybody Nose (Remix) (Last Week #10)
CRS is taking over! The Best Rap Artist Chachi Award is going to be hotly contested with Lupe Fiasco AND Kanye West duking it out. Not only that, but Game and Young Jeezy are up there, too!
7. Wonder Girls – So Hot (Last Week #4, Two Weeks at #1)
The Wonder Girls aren’t having a wonderful week right now, I tell you what. They fall three more spots this week and out of the Top Five. New video, though. I will let you know how it is for you non-fans.
6. Fonzworth Bentley feat Andre 3000 & Kanye West – Everybody [Don’t Stop] (Last Week #8)
More Andre 3000 and Kanye? Sign me up! Fonzworth Bentley has himself a good one here as he moves up two more spots this week with help from his compatriots. From Diddy’s manservant to a number one video? We will have to see about that one!
5. T.I. – No Matter What (Last Week #3, One Week at #1)
T.I.’s triumphant return has ended as he falls two more spots this week from the Top Three. He had a slow beginning of the year but he is pushing hard to repeat as a Chachi Award winner in 2008. Can the King take his throne back? We will find out in November!
4. Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl (Last Week #5)
Hyori Lee is SLOWLY moving toward her first number one video as she moves up a spot this week. She just released a new video for “Hey, Mr. Big!” and once again…it is hella hot. Can I just say I am a total fan? Yeah, she needs to eat a sammich though. We are down to three!
3. Kelun – CHU-BURA (Last Week #1, One Week at #1)
NOOOOO! The Bleach Bump couldn’t keep Kelun at number one for a second week! Kelun had a LONG trek to the top and finally took it but it was short lived. Great job though, guys! So who is number two I wonder….
2. Yui – Summer Song (Last Week #2)
NOT AGAIN! Yui cannot take the top spot from Kelun! She stands pat at number two which makes it her FOURTH STRAIGHT video to make it to number two and stay for more than one week. That has to be a record of something. That is also JUST JACKED. So with Yui at number two and Kelun knocked from the top, who has taken over the throne?
1. Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On (Last Week #6, One Week at #1)
Well I’ll be damned. Young Jeezy has his second number one video of 2008! He was on top for three weeks with Usher this summer and it is his third number one video in the Countdown’s almost three year history! It is a shock, I must say. Not only that, it is Kanye’s THIRD NUMBER ONE VIDEO OF THE YEAR (CRS’s “Us Placers” and “Champion” with Chris Martin earlier this year) which is officially a record. And it’s only AUGUST! Congrats to both!
That is all for now, peeps! Tune in next week to see if Young Jeezy and Kanye can hold on for a second week! Or will Yui FINALLY break the streak and take her first number one in over a year and a half? Or can Hyori Lee shock them all and go to the top? See you in seven days to find out!
Well, I may see “College” tonight and I am TOTALLY going to the demolition derby on Saturday if anyone is down to go with me. Until I come back (Maybe Sunday), stay up.
Chachi Out.
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
First I want to bring something back I haven’t done in over a year I believe. Hell, it may be a year in a half. Here are the videos that just debuted and almost made it on this week as I give you…
BOILING UNDER!!
Hearts Grow – Sora
FUCK YES! I can honestly say that this is my favorite Hearts Grow song yet! I am a huge fan of them (Ever since “Road” which was a gem) and I am pissy about no album but….you can’t win them all
Hyori Lee – Hey, Mr. Big!
Um….yeah she is hot. I mean very hot. I may need to grab some soju and watch this one. This is one of those songs on the album that sounded good but I didn’t think it would be a good video. Man, I was SO wrong on that one.
Now, let’s begin with a debut from a group that has been gone for over 17 months!
20. Maroon 5 – Goodnight, Goodnight (New Entry)
We begin this week with a debut video from Maroon 5. It has been WELL OVER A YEAR since we have last seen them on here when they hit number one with “Makes Me Wonder” in spring of 2007. You know, they always have very good videos and this is no exception. Adam Levine kind of scares me, but who doesn’t at this age?
19. UVERworld – Koishikute (New Entry)
THE WORLD IS BACK! POWER BALLAD, BITCHES! UVERworld FINALLY gives us a ballad after several lackluster rock videos (Although “Roots” had its moments) and dammit it is about time! The translation of this song, which I had to look up because I would still be on the first three lines had I not because my Japanese SUCKS, is so sad but so AWESOME. You know, this could be their best video yet. Better than SHAMROCK!
18. Paramore – That’s What You Get (Last Week #14, Two Weeks at #1)
So Paramore ends the summer with a number one video and arguably the biggest rock video of the year not by HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR. It should be an interesting battle for the Rock Video of the Year Chachi Award between them.
17. New Kids On The Block - Summertime (Last Week #15)
NKOTB falls this week as summertime comes to an end. Also, a new video with (Ugh…) Akon is coming soon and I have to say….I like the song. Don’t like Akon though.
16. Game feat Keisha Cole – Pain (Last Week #12, One Week at #1) [Plunge of the Week]
The Year of Game continues as he broke his drought of not having a number one video with this one. “LAX” just hit the streets and I will have to pick it up when I get paid because it is the best West Coast album I have heard since DJ Quik’s “Under Tha Influence” which is an unheralded classic.
15. John Legend feat Andre 3000 – Green Light (New Entry)
HELL YES! John it is about damn time you made a fricking video for this song! First off, the more Andre 3000 the better. Secondly, it has been a while since John graced us with his presence and even LONGER (If ever?) he gave us a dance track. Even Stevie got down, baby! Welcome back! BTW, second highest debut ever on the Countdown. Just an FYI.
14. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Hot Limit (Last Week #11, Two Weeks at #1)
So HAMC falls another three spots this week. It has been a pretty big year for them but they have slowed a bit in the last few months. Here is to them ending strong.
13. Game feat. Lil Wayne – My Life (Last Week #20, Biggest Mover)
It’s time to play the Game! Game and Lil’ Wayne move up a HUGE seven spots this week as we near the Chachi Music & Video Awards (Coming in November, by the way! Nominees coming soon!). I have had this song on for about a month and this video has grown on me despite all the red. What can I say, I am anti-gang.
12. RBD - Empezar Desde Cero (Last Week #9)
RBD falls from the Top 10 for the first time in over a month and a half as they fail once again to take number one. I smell a Best Pop Group nod….
11. Bennie K feat SOFFet – Music Traveler (Last Week #16)
Bennie K is travelling upward once again! After a pretty long hiatus (Not as long as Maroon 5 or Namie Amuro HINT HINT!) they are back and moving toward the top! They were on the verge of being a one video wonder (See: UGK) but they followed it up with a great one here. Bennie K is always experimenting and this one is no different. Great stuff!
10. Ikimono-Gakari - Bluebird (Last Week #7)
We are into the Top 10 and we begin with Ikimono-Gakari! They are steadily falling downward after coming so close to taking the top spot. Will they follow it up with another huge video? Also, I WANT TO SEE THE NARUTO MOVIE!!!
9. FLOW – WORLD END (Last Week #13)
FLOW is back! After over a year and a half away, they are back in the Top 10! I haven’t really liked Code Geass (Not even the new season) but this song is tits and this video is great. New album, anyone?
8. NERD feat Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pusha-T – Everybody Nose (Remix) (Last Week #10)
CRS is taking over! The Best Rap Artist Chachi Award is going to be hotly contested with Lupe Fiasco AND Kanye West duking it out. Not only that, but Game and Young Jeezy are up there, too!
7. Wonder Girls – So Hot (Last Week #4, Two Weeks at #1)
The Wonder Girls aren’t having a wonderful week right now, I tell you what. They fall three more spots this week and out of the Top Five. New video, though. I will let you know how it is for you non-fans.
6. Fonzworth Bentley feat Andre 3000 & Kanye West – Everybody [Don’t Stop] (Last Week #8)
More Andre 3000 and Kanye? Sign me up! Fonzworth Bentley has himself a good one here as he moves up two more spots this week with help from his compatriots. From Diddy’s manservant to a number one video? We will have to see about that one!
5. T.I. – No Matter What (Last Week #3, One Week at #1)
T.I.’s triumphant return has ended as he falls two more spots this week from the Top Three. He had a slow beginning of the year but he is pushing hard to repeat as a Chachi Award winner in 2008. Can the King take his throne back? We will find out in November!
4. Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl (Last Week #5)
Hyori Lee is SLOWLY moving toward her first number one video as she moves up a spot this week. She just released a new video for “Hey, Mr. Big!” and once again…it is hella hot. Can I just say I am a total fan? Yeah, she needs to eat a sammich though. We are down to three!
3. Kelun – CHU-BURA (Last Week #1, One Week at #1)
NOOOOO! The Bleach Bump couldn’t keep Kelun at number one for a second week! Kelun had a LONG trek to the top and finally took it but it was short lived. Great job though, guys! So who is number two I wonder….
2. Yui – Summer Song (Last Week #2)
NOT AGAIN! Yui cannot take the top spot from Kelun! She stands pat at number two which makes it her FOURTH STRAIGHT video to make it to number two and stay for more than one week. That has to be a record of something. That is also JUST JACKED. So with Yui at number two and Kelun knocked from the top, who has taken over the throne?
1. Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On (Last Week #6, One Week at #1)
Well I’ll be damned. Young Jeezy has his second number one video of 2008! He was on top for three weeks with Usher this summer and it is his third number one video in the Countdown’s almost three year history! It is a shock, I must say. Not only that, it is Kanye’s THIRD NUMBER ONE VIDEO OF THE YEAR (CRS’s “Us Placers” and “Champion” with Chris Martin earlier this year) which is officially a record. And it’s only AUGUST! Congrats to both!
That is all for now, peeps! Tune in next week to see if Young Jeezy and Kanye can hold on for a second week! Or will Yui FINALLY break the streak and take her first number one in over a year and a half? Or can Hyori Lee shock them all and go to the top? See you in seven days to find out!
Well, I may see “College” tonight and I am TOTALLY going to the demolition derby on Saturday if anyone is down to go with me. Until I come back (Maybe Sunday), stay up.
Chachi Out.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Frylock, What's A Handjob? Because I'm About To Get One.
I have had a very jacked up week, people. Some highlights:
1. Denver Is A Hellhole: Seriously, that place pisses me the fuck off. I drove three blocks and went through three different cities. All three sucked teh balls.
2. Rick Astley Rocks You Even If You Can’t See Him: So I Rickroll’d some blind students at Arapahoe Community College today….and I didn’t feel bad about it. Even the blind need to know that no one is going to let them down or desert them.
3. I Understand James Brown…But No Stevie?!: So I watched some of the Democratic National Convention (I am totally trying to score tickets for the finale. All the fly honeys are gonna be there!) and I have to say….it was liz-ame. Now I am a Democrat only in name (Mainly because all the parties suck ass but as much as I despise Democrats, Republicans can all die as far as I am concerned. Especially McCain since he is one tap on the shoulder from croaking anyway) but are you telling me that you had to get a motherfucking HOUSE BAND rather than the real artists to perform? I know John Legend kicked the bad boy off (I TOTALLY WANTED TO SEE THAT!!) but whoever they got to send off Michelle Obama (Who after tonight no longer scares me. She is better to look at than Cindy McCain…mostly because she had a stroke and looks like Botox is rejecting her face. I went there and I don’t gives a FUCK) with a rather karaoke rendition of “Isn’t She Lovely” by Stevie Wonder needs to be fired. Are you telling me they couldn’t have brought Stevie’s blind, Black ass to fucking Denver? What, would the lack of humidity fuck up his hair even worse? God…..pissing me off. Oh, and I will totally lose my shit if Nancy Pelosi Rickrolls Hillary. That would be the greatest moment in politics EVER.
4. We Need A New National Anthem, Brother!: I am so fucking sick of the “Star Spangled Bore-Fest!” You think that song puts fear into the hearts of the evildoers in the world? Fuck no, our national anthem might as well be Tutti-motherfucking-Frutti. We need a song that says “we are America and if you don’t like it we will totally break our foot off in your ass and drop a legdrop of truth on your bitch ass!” We need a song that takes the stars and bars, wraps it around the throats of our opponents and chokes the shit out of them! We need a song that shows what we are….REAL AMERICANS:
Aint nobody fucking with the USA if that was blaring in the Olympics. Could you see Barack Obama and Joe Biden giving Kim Jong Il a Doomsday Device?
FUCK YEAH. McCain can’t do that shit.
5. I Miss Funny As Shit Eddie Murphy:
James brown celebrity hottub
Uploaded by codordog
Man, those were the days. Well before the shitty kids’ movies and even shittier dressing up as fat people movies, Eddie Murphy was arguably the funniest motherfucker on the planet. Now he is unfunny and likes tranny hookers. I mean to each their own but I prefer Mister Robinson’s neighborhood to The Nutty Professor or Norbit any day.
6. You Kissed A Girl And You Liked It…But You Are Going To HELL, Fake Lezzie!: I posted a question to a friend of mine that another person posed to me about of my blogs where I ranted on women that kiss women that aren’t gay. I made a comment a few weeks ago to a female friend about how if she was a Christian she couldn’t kiss women because homosexuality is a sin, not just in living but in act according to the word of Jebus and his asshole of a dad. Seriously, he made Joe Jackson look like Ward Cleaver. Needless to say, she got pissed about it because that is what women do when standard logic prevails their self-created rules because “just because I kiss another girl doesn’t make mean I am going to hell!” to which I responded that according to the bible, you are. Guess what? If you claim to be a Christian and you don’t follow the words of the Bible YOU ARENT A FUCKING CHRISTIAN. I personally could give a fuck what you do or what sex you fuck but in the end don’t tell me that if you are following the word of the Bible and you lay with the same sex (Yes, kissing is a form of sex to Jesus lovers. Hell, high fiving is a form of sex to Christians last I checked)…well….read for yourself
“If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.”
Now I don’t give a fuck what the Bible says because I am not a Christian (Or any of the denominations. I worship the Wolven and he is all for chicks kissing each other. As long as he is in the middle of that Filet O’ Fish sandwich. OH, innuendo all over your FACE!) and I am not a believer in Jesus Christ’s divinity. However, if part of being a good Christian is taking what is in the bible and applying it into your life you just can’t pick and choose which you want to do. Now I know that is a woman’s motis operandi but when it comes to the Bible, you don’t want to mess around with that. If you have children out of wedlock according to the Bible you have sinned. Period. I didn’t say it, the book did. So if you follow the book and you break it’s not really enforceable rules then you have sinned and you is going to hell, girl!
7. Only Women Can Be Bi-Curious. Bi-Curious Men Are Gay: Now I have a few female friends that “tried out” being lesbians (usually after either an argument with daddy or a bad relationship with a man….that stems from an argument with daddy. Theme, anyone?) and some found it wasn’t for them and went back to men because at the end of the day women can’t validate each other. That’s why women don’t really have female friends. When a woman tells you “Oh, she is my best friend ever!” what she is saying is “I fucking hate that bitch and when she is happy it grates on my nerves like a Jonas Brothers song!” and don’t believe anything otherwise because a woman’s bankai is lying:
But nowhere near as cool; it usually ends with me wanting to choke the shit out of them but that’s life. Back to the point, though. How many men have you met that said to a woman on a date:
“You know, for a while in college I was really interested in the cock. I mean I had never tried it, all I had was that sweet, sweet vag. So my best friend and I were wrestling….we had some scotch and were watching UFC….one thing lead to another and all of a sudden he was balls deep like two pink bouy in a brown ocean. We continued to date but after a while, I really missed titties so I went back to chicks. So I am totally straight now....boy was that FUN though! So tell me about you”
And that date got past that point? I will tell you how many times. NEVER. It is one of the double standards that I find comical (Actually, I find all double standards comical because I don’t believe in any of them but am expected to which is even MORE comical because since I’m not the norm people get pissed) but you rarely hear of a man that used to be gay going back to women….and it just be accepted. Personally I wouldn’t care and it would be great testimony for church that I never go to:
“Yo, this here is my nigga Trevor. He used to be all about that wang but now it aint his thang. He is all about the tang!”
First off, that shit is funny. Second off, you would NEVER hear that anywhere at any point in time because no one would accept a male being homosexual and going back to being straight unless you are an evangelical or Liza Minelli. Well, sometimes you gotta (barrel) roll with it, baby:
Well, I am out for now. I may be back on Thursday before Nerd Out Thursday (Which will be short a member but we will DRINK FOR TWO! Or TOO….much) before a new Countdown on Friday which may be the biggest Countdown ever. Letting you know now…..THREE DEBUT VIDEOS! Until next time, stay up.
Chachi Out.
1. Denver Is A Hellhole: Seriously, that place pisses me the fuck off. I drove three blocks and went through three different cities. All three sucked teh balls.
2. Rick Astley Rocks You Even If You Can’t See Him: So I Rickroll’d some blind students at Arapahoe Community College today….and I didn’t feel bad about it. Even the blind need to know that no one is going to let them down or desert them.
3. I Understand James Brown…But No Stevie?!: So I watched some of the Democratic National Convention (I am totally trying to score tickets for the finale. All the fly honeys are gonna be there!) and I have to say….it was liz-ame. Now I am a Democrat only in name (Mainly because all the parties suck ass but as much as I despise Democrats, Republicans can all die as far as I am concerned. Especially McCain since he is one tap on the shoulder from croaking anyway) but are you telling me that you had to get a motherfucking HOUSE BAND rather than the real artists to perform? I know John Legend kicked the bad boy off (I TOTALLY WANTED TO SEE THAT!!) but whoever they got to send off Michelle Obama (Who after tonight no longer scares me. She is better to look at than Cindy McCain…mostly because she had a stroke and looks like Botox is rejecting her face. I went there and I don’t gives a FUCK) with a rather karaoke rendition of “Isn’t She Lovely” by Stevie Wonder needs to be fired. Are you telling me they couldn’t have brought Stevie’s blind, Black ass to fucking Denver? What, would the lack of humidity fuck up his hair even worse? God…..pissing me off. Oh, and I will totally lose my shit if Nancy Pelosi Rickrolls Hillary. That would be the greatest moment in politics EVER.
4. We Need A New National Anthem, Brother!: I am so fucking sick of the “Star Spangled Bore-Fest!” You think that song puts fear into the hearts of the evildoers in the world? Fuck no, our national anthem might as well be Tutti-motherfucking-Frutti. We need a song that says “we are America and if you don’t like it we will totally break our foot off in your ass and drop a legdrop of truth on your bitch ass!” We need a song that takes the stars and bars, wraps it around the throats of our opponents and chokes the shit out of them! We need a song that shows what we are….REAL AMERICANS:
Aint nobody fucking with the USA if that was blaring in the Olympics. Could you see Barack Obama and Joe Biden giving Kim Jong Il a Doomsday Device?
FUCK YEAH. McCain can’t do that shit.
5. I Miss Funny As Shit Eddie Murphy:
James brown celebrity hottub
Uploaded by codordog
Man, those were the days. Well before the shitty kids’ movies and even shittier dressing up as fat people movies, Eddie Murphy was arguably the funniest motherfucker on the planet. Now he is unfunny and likes tranny hookers. I mean to each their own but I prefer Mister Robinson’s neighborhood to The Nutty Professor or Norbit any day.
6. You Kissed A Girl And You Liked It…But You Are Going To HELL, Fake Lezzie!: I posted a question to a friend of mine that another person posed to me about of my blogs where I ranted on women that kiss women that aren’t gay. I made a comment a few weeks ago to a female friend about how if she was a Christian she couldn’t kiss women because homosexuality is a sin, not just in living but in act according to the word of Jebus and his asshole of a dad. Seriously, he made Joe Jackson look like Ward Cleaver. Needless to say, she got pissed about it because that is what women do when standard logic prevails their self-created rules because “just because I kiss another girl doesn’t make mean I am going to hell!” to which I responded that according to the bible, you are. Guess what? If you claim to be a Christian and you don’t follow the words of the Bible YOU ARENT A FUCKING CHRISTIAN. I personally could give a fuck what you do or what sex you fuck but in the end don’t tell me that if you are following the word of the Bible and you lay with the same sex (Yes, kissing is a form of sex to Jesus lovers. Hell, high fiving is a form of sex to Christians last I checked)…well….read for yourself
“If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.”
Now I don’t give a fuck what the Bible says because I am not a Christian (Or any of the denominations. I worship the Wolven and he is all for chicks kissing each other. As long as he is in the middle of that Filet O’ Fish sandwich. OH, innuendo all over your FACE!) and I am not a believer in Jesus Christ’s divinity. However, if part of being a good Christian is taking what is in the bible and applying it into your life you just can’t pick and choose which you want to do. Now I know that is a woman’s motis operandi but when it comes to the Bible, you don’t want to mess around with that. If you have children out of wedlock according to the Bible you have sinned. Period. I didn’t say it, the book did. So if you follow the book and you break it’s not really enforceable rules then you have sinned and you is going to hell, girl!
7. Only Women Can Be Bi-Curious. Bi-Curious Men Are Gay: Now I have a few female friends that “tried out” being lesbians (usually after either an argument with daddy or a bad relationship with a man….that stems from an argument with daddy. Theme, anyone?) and some found it wasn’t for them and went back to men because at the end of the day women can’t validate each other. That’s why women don’t really have female friends. When a woman tells you “Oh, she is my best friend ever!” what she is saying is “I fucking hate that bitch and when she is happy it grates on my nerves like a Jonas Brothers song!” and don’t believe anything otherwise because a woman’s bankai is lying:
But nowhere near as cool; it usually ends with me wanting to choke the shit out of them but that’s life. Back to the point, though. How many men have you met that said to a woman on a date:
“You know, for a while in college I was really interested in the cock. I mean I had never tried it, all I had was that sweet, sweet vag. So my best friend and I were wrestling….we had some scotch and were watching UFC….one thing lead to another and all of a sudden he was balls deep like two pink bouy in a brown ocean. We continued to date but after a while, I really missed titties so I went back to chicks. So I am totally straight now....boy was that FUN though! So tell me about you”
And that date got past that point? I will tell you how many times. NEVER. It is one of the double standards that I find comical (Actually, I find all double standards comical because I don’t believe in any of them but am expected to which is even MORE comical because since I’m not the norm people get pissed) but you rarely hear of a man that used to be gay going back to women….and it just be accepted. Personally I wouldn’t care and it would be great testimony for church that I never go to:
“Yo, this here is my nigga Trevor. He used to be all about that wang but now it aint his thang. He is all about the tang!”
First off, that shit is funny. Second off, you would NEVER hear that anywhere at any point in time because no one would accept a male being homosexual and going back to being straight unless you are an evangelical or Liza Minelli. Well, sometimes you gotta (barrel) roll with it, baby:
Well, I am out for now. I may be back on Thursday before Nerd Out Thursday (Which will be short a member but we will DRINK FOR TWO! Or TOO….much) before a new Countdown on Friday which may be the biggest Countdown ever. Letting you know now…..THREE DEBUT VIDEOS! Until next time, stay up.
Chachi Out.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Bleach: Giving Anime Kick Ass Opening Themes Since 2006
Today is “Hamlet 2” day! But first it time for the Friday staple!
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!!
We begin this week with a debut from one of the biggest artists of 2008!
20. Game feat. Lil Wayne – My Life (New Entry)
We start off with arguably the second most hyped video of 2008 (Behind Miley Cyrus’s (7 Things” and Lil’ Wayne’s “Lollipop”) and I have to admit….it was worth the wait. Arguably 2008’s biggest star guests with Game in the Pac-like video for a really good song. Although there is too much red for my taste (Are you two TRYING to get killed?! Niggas is dumb!) it is good to see something non-shitty in hip hop.
19. Seamo feat Ayuse Kozue - Honey (Last Week #16)
Looks like Seamo’s fantastic voyage is coming to an end as he falls three spots this week. He has one of the longest running videos on the Countdown but he never got any higher than number 13. Pretty good staying power.
18. CHEMISTRY – Life Goes On (Last Week #19)
CHEMISTRY moves up a spot this week on their first time out. You know, I really get pissed when record labels bitch about having their artists videos on YouTube. Seriously, do you hate the fans that fucking much? Pricks.
17. Usher – Moving Mountains (Last Week #14)
Looks like Usher is moving down as well as he falls down the mountain this week. Nothing new and I was really expecting more after having to wait 10 millenia since the awesomeness that was “Yeah!”
16. Bennie K feat SOFFet – Music Traveler (New Entry)
BENNIE K - Music Traveler with SOFFet
Uploaded by once_again
Bennie K is back! After dominating the spring with “Monochrome” which stayed at number one for a mindboggling seven weeks, the sexy ladies are FINALLY returning to the Countdown! Much like “Joy Trip” this song experiments highly with country and folk to which I say quite alright. They bring along SOFFet for the ride who I really dug in that Mihimaru GT video.
15. New Kids On The Block - Summertime (Last Week #15)
NKOTB STALLS?! Is it time to panic? Nah, not yet but summertime is over so it may be time for another “Step By Step,” I’m just saying.
14. Paramore – That’s What You Get (Last Week #12, Two Weeks at #1)
Paramore on the VMA’s?! With T.I.?! Well, not at the same time but still. I guess I officially have a reason to watch MTV that doesn’t involve breakdancing. Damn it, the boycott was going so well.
13. FLOW – WORLD END (Last Week #17, Biggest Mover)
FLOW is officially back! They are the biggest mover this week as they hope to renew the success they had TWO YEARS AGO with “Re:Member” when it hit number one. Damn, that was a fucking long time ago.
12. Game feat Keisha Cole – Pain (Last Week #10, One Week at #1)
So the Game falls out of the Top 10 this week but with a new video debuting it looks like he is trying to get in the argument for Chachi for Artist of the Year. With Yui and Kanye pretty much locking that down he may need another strong run for consideration.
11. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Hot Limit (Last Week #8, Two Weeks at #1)
So….is there ever going to be a new opening theme for Soul Eater? I mean seriously the endings have been awesome and I love TM Revolution but it is about that time for something new.
10. NERD feat Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pusha-T – Everybody Nose (Remix) (Last Week #13)
Well look at this! CRS is back in the Top 10! After dominating before Bennie k made their triumphant return CRS was on the low with each artist returning on their own but they are back and looking to go two for two! Also, this is Week Kanye because….well you will see.
9. RBD - Empezar Desde Cero (Last Week #7)
RBD looks to once again fall short of the top spot as their latest falls two spots. I am in need of a new album and the La Familia DVD. There, you know what to get me for my birthday next month. MAKE IT HAPPEN, BITCHES!
8. Fonzworth Bentley feat. Andre 3000 & Kanye West – Everybody [Don’t Stop] (Last Week #11)
From Diddy’s manservant to a Top 10 video? Pretty good year for The Fonz! He brings along Andre 3000 and Kanye (Who kicks a pretty good hook) for the ride as the resurgence of hip hop continues in 2008! Love the dance sequences, btw.
7. Ikimono-Gakari - Bluebird (Last Week #4)
After coming so close, Ikimono-Gakari falls two more spots and out of the Top 5 this week. So….I REALLY WANT TO SEE THE NEW NARUTO MOVIE! I mean REALLY want to see that shit. I don’t know why but I am all about this show now.
6. Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On (Last Week #9)
Aaaaand once again it is Kanye. Young Jeezy moves up three big spots and lands right outside the Top Five this week with his latest. Can I just say that this is literally the illest hip-hop song of 2008? I know it sounds weird but….DAMN THIS TRACK IS COLD BLOODED!
5. Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl (Last Week #6)
The Princess is moving up! Hyori Lee has her first Top Five video and she is looking for more! With the history of the sexy ladies on the top (NaNa, Alicia Keys, Yui, Namie Amuro) can Hyori put her name up there? If this video has anything to do with it….yes.
4. Wonder Girls – So Hot (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
After tying with T.I. last week and two weeks on top, the Wonder Girls fall four big spots to number four! Well….they got here and now it is time to finish the job. We need a new video, ladies! We are down to three!
3. T.I. – No Matter What (Last Week #1, One Week at #1)
After only a week on top, the King has fallen! T.I. has a new video out (Which has grown on me. Odds are you will see it on here soon. REAL SOON) but it was kind of a shame this didn’t have a longer run. Even still, I am waithing for “Paper Trail” because it sounds a lot better so far than his last one.
2. Yui – Summer Song (Last Week #5)
Yui is making YET ANOTHER BID to end her streak! It has been over a year and five videos since she topped the chart last and she looks to be able to take back what is hers! I am all about this song and seeing as how it is the end of summer I still refuse to let it go. Can she end the streak? She will have to wait if she wants to because with T.I. and the Wonder Girls both falling from the top we have a new number one video!
1. Kelun – CHU-BURA (Last Week #3, One Week at #1)
YOU KNOW IT! From its debut eight weeks ago to right now, Kelun was priming itself for the number one spot. Taking full advantage of the Bleach Bump, Kelun takes the number one spot from the King and Queens! After the success of “SIXTEEN GIRL” it was going to take a lot to overtake that but Kelun has done it big time. Congrats guys, you have the biggest video in the land!
That is all for this week! Tune in next Friday to see if Kelun can make it two weeks in a row! Or will Yui finally end the year long drought of taking the number one spot? Or can T.I. or the Wonder Girls return to the number one spot? Tune in next week to find out!
Well, I am out for now. Hamlet 2 this afternoon! Until this weekend, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out.
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!!
We begin this week with a debut from one of the biggest artists of 2008!
20. Game feat. Lil Wayne – My Life (New Entry)
We start off with arguably the second most hyped video of 2008 (Behind Miley Cyrus’s (7 Things” and Lil’ Wayne’s “Lollipop”) and I have to admit….it was worth the wait. Arguably 2008’s biggest star guests with Game in the Pac-like video for a really good song. Although there is too much red for my taste (Are you two TRYING to get killed?! Niggas is dumb!) it is good to see something non-shitty in hip hop.
19. Seamo feat Ayuse Kozue - Honey (Last Week #16)
Looks like Seamo’s fantastic voyage is coming to an end as he falls three spots this week. He has one of the longest running videos on the Countdown but he never got any higher than number 13. Pretty good staying power.
18. CHEMISTRY – Life Goes On (Last Week #19)
CHEMISTRY moves up a spot this week on their first time out. You know, I really get pissed when record labels bitch about having their artists videos on YouTube. Seriously, do you hate the fans that fucking much? Pricks.
17. Usher – Moving Mountains (Last Week #14)
Looks like Usher is moving down as well as he falls down the mountain this week. Nothing new and I was really expecting more after having to wait 10 millenia since the awesomeness that was “Yeah!”
16. Bennie K feat SOFFet – Music Traveler (New Entry)
BENNIE K - Music Traveler with SOFFet
Uploaded by once_again
Bennie K is back! After dominating the spring with “Monochrome” which stayed at number one for a mindboggling seven weeks, the sexy ladies are FINALLY returning to the Countdown! Much like “Joy Trip” this song experiments highly with country and folk to which I say quite alright. They bring along SOFFet for the ride who I really dug in that Mihimaru GT video.
15. New Kids On The Block - Summertime (Last Week #15)
NKOTB STALLS?! Is it time to panic? Nah, not yet but summertime is over so it may be time for another “Step By Step,” I’m just saying.
14. Paramore – That’s What You Get (Last Week #12, Two Weeks at #1)
Paramore on the VMA’s?! With T.I.?! Well, not at the same time but still. I guess I officially have a reason to watch MTV that doesn’t involve breakdancing. Damn it, the boycott was going so well.
13. FLOW – WORLD END (Last Week #17, Biggest Mover)
FLOW is officially back! They are the biggest mover this week as they hope to renew the success they had TWO YEARS AGO with “Re:Member” when it hit number one. Damn, that was a fucking long time ago.
12. Game feat Keisha Cole – Pain (Last Week #10, One Week at #1)
So the Game falls out of the Top 10 this week but with a new video debuting it looks like he is trying to get in the argument for Chachi for Artist of the Year. With Yui and Kanye pretty much locking that down he may need another strong run for consideration.
11. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Hot Limit (Last Week #8, Two Weeks at #1)
So….is there ever going to be a new opening theme for Soul Eater? I mean seriously the endings have been awesome and I love TM Revolution but it is about that time for something new.
10. NERD feat Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco & Pusha-T – Everybody Nose (Remix) (Last Week #13)
Well look at this! CRS is back in the Top 10! After dominating before Bennie k made their triumphant return CRS was on the low with each artist returning on their own but they are back and looking to go two for two! Also, this is Week Kanye because….well you will see.
9. RBD - Empezar Desde Cero (Last Week #7)
RBD looks to once again fall short of the top spot as their latest falls two spots. I am in need of a new album and the La Familia DVD. There, you know what to get me for my birthday next month. MAKE IT HAPPEN, BITCHES!
8. Fonzworth Bentley feat. Andre 3000 & Kanye West – Everybody [Don’t Stop] (Last Week #11)
From Diddy’s manservant to a Top 10 video? Pretty good year for The Fonz! He brings along Andre 3000 and Kanye (Who kicks a pretty good hook) for the ride as the resurgence of hip hop continues in 2008! Love the dance sequences, btw.
7. Ikimono-Gakari - Bluebird (Last Week #4)
After coming so close, Ikimono-Gakari falls two more spots and out of the Top 5 this week. So….I REALLY WANT TO SEE THE NEW NARUTO MOVIE! I mean REALLY want to see that shit. I don’t know why but I am all about this show now.
6. Young Jeezy feat Kanye West – Put On (Last Week #9)
Aaaaand once again it is Kanye. Young Jeezy moves up three big spots and lands right outside the Top Five this week with his latest. Can I just say that this is literally the illest hip-hop song of 2008? I know it sounds weird but….DAMN THIS TRACK IS COLD BLOODED!
5. Hyori Lee – U-Go-Girl (Last Week #6)
The Princess is moving up! Hyori Lee has her first Top Five video and she is looking for more! With the history of the sexy ladies on the top (NaNa, Alicia Keys, Yui, Namie Amuro) can Hyori put her name up there? If this video has anything to do with it….yes.
4. Wonder Girls – So Hot (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
After tying with T.I. last week and two weeks on top, the Wonder Girls fall four big spots to number four! Well….they got here and now it is time to finish the job. We need a new video, ladies! We are down to three!
3. T.I. – No Matter What (Last Week #1, One Week at #1)
After only a week on top, the King has fallen! T.I. has a new video out (Which has grown on me. Odds are you will see it on here soon. REAL SOON) but it was kind of a shame this didn’t have a longer run. Even still, I am waithing for “Paper Trail” because it sounds a lot better so far than his last one.
2. Yui – Summer Song (Last Week #5)
Yui is making YET ANOTHER BID to end her streak! It has been over a year and five videos since she topped the chart last and she looks to be able to take back what is hers! I am all about this song and seeing as how it is the end of summer I still refuse to let it go. Can she end the streak? She will have to wait if she wants to because with T.I. and the Wonder Girls both falling from the top we have a new number one video!
1. Kelun – CHU-BURA (Last Week #3, One Week at #1)
YOU KNOW IT! From its debut eight weeks ago to right now, Kelun was priming itself for the number one spot. Taking full advantage of the Bleach Bump, Kelun takes the number one spot from the King and Queens! After the success of “SIXTEEN GIRL” it was going to take a lot to overtake that but Kelun has done it big time. Congrats guys, you have the biggest video in the land!
That is all for this week! Tune in next Friday to see if Kelun can make it two weeks in a row! Or will Yui finally end the year long drought of taking the number one spot? Or can T.I. or the Wonder Girls return to the number one spot? Tune in next week to find out!
Well, I am out for now. Hamlet 2 this afternoon! Until this weekend, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Women Getting Bad Advice From Women? Fan-tastic!
So this evening I was hella bored and I saw a link on my Yahoo email account about an article from Cosmo (The end all be all of bullshit that women live by that makes no sense and has no bearing on reality ever. Wait, that would be Oprah) about “7 Bad Girl Bedroom Moves You Must Master.”
O_o
Okay, first off I am a dude. I could care less about this kind of stuff but it is showing up on the side of my email a lot so I am figuring I am totally gay or everyone thinks I am which makes me TOTALLY FUCKING GAY. Being the inquisitive chap I am (Using new vernacular. Working for you? Nothing?) I decided to click on the link and boy…it just got worse from there. Here are some “highlights” of this pinnacle of female sexual journalism:
Dare To….Create An Alter Ego
Okay, I could see how this could be hot….if you are a fucking super-villain. You are a woman which makes you not ABLE to be a super-villain because super-villany is awesome and you are NO Dr. Girlfriend. Or Miss Monarch, it all depends. Now as one who has been avoiding and been avoided by “teh sex” for several years now I really don’t get any of this bullshit about role playing unless it involves school girl and senpai. Or anything and senpai because I just want to be called that because that shit is HOT. If you need to create an alter ego to be a whore then you are faking the funk. Real whores are whore twenty-four seven and we appreciate them for it!
Dare To….Pump Up The Dirty Dialoge
Okay, this is one that I get but I don’t LIKE. It is kind of like Guy Ritchie movies. The concept of talking dirty SOUNDS like a good idea but if you are talking…then I am obviously putting work in the wrong hole if you get my drift. If women have nothing of value to say when sex ISN’T being had, what makes them think I care about what they have to say in the act of coitus? EPIC-ZING! I kid, I kid. In all seriousness, talking dirty does nothing because the more you talk, the less you are sucking. Which I hear dudes enjoy over hearing about anything you have to say. Ever. Not that I would know, the female gender is a being that is foreign, godless and scary to me. Like Turks with boobies.
Dare To…..Put On The Porn
Fuck you, bitch. Unless you are going to DO the horrible, horrible things that Sasha Grey, Belladonna and Ashley Blue do for my uni-lateral carnal gratification then I have no need to watch porn with you. It isn’t like we are watching “27 Dresses” here. The kind of porn I want to watch isn’t going to be what SHE wants to watch and as we all know, the numbers of women that know about good porn (That aren’t actually performing in them and may god bless them because they do just as much for our freedom as anyone else in this country) run in about the 15% range IF THAT. You see, also there is something to be said for the fact that women don’t really know what men find sexually attractive. Sexually AROUSING is simple because men get hard-ons at the sight of just about anything resembling boobs or the random touch in a bar or subway. There is a reason why fashion designers, porn directors and music video casting agents are all male: they know what men want. Men don’t want to see women kissing each other (Well….smart men don’t) because that is a waste of time. Men want to see chicks kissing THEM. So what women assume men like ends up being de facto true because most men are simple and are aroused by pretty much anything. The last thing I need is to be stuck watching porn with a girlfriend and she gets all freaked out because she finds “Behind The Green Door” arousing cinematic erotica while I want to watch “Big Wet Asses 11”:
Julia Bond, Cody Lane AND Sativa Rose? Now that is porn at its FINEST! Yet I know for a FACT that women freak out about that kind of porn because I have seen it firsthand. Buy me a drink and I will tell you the story; funny shit especially because she was Mormon. Anyway, I don’t believe in this but if there IS a lady that is down to watch “Ass Worship 9” or “Invasian 2” holla at yo boy. I gots them both on the A-V-I.
Article #2: Do Guys Find You Intriguing?
Well, let’s look at this honestly. All men find all women intriguing. Just for different reasons. Men and their interest in women break down like this:
75% of men find what is in between your legs intriguing, and it could be anyone….not just you.
10% of men PRETEND to find you intriguing because they want what is between your legs but don’t want to be an uber-tool about it.
10% of men are gay and couldn’t give a fuck about you. Gay dudes rule, the Romans knew it, the Greeks knew it, Tom Cruise knows it and now you do. They are festive!
5% of men are dumbfounded by your stupidity and disgusted by your lack of common sense and self respect….but you are the only viable option aside from other dudes (The world frowns on collie/man relationships)
The numbers could be off….but they are not. The Chachi has spoken!
Article #3: How To Tell If A Guy Is Cheating
So I remember once that Zach was telling me about a conversation he had in class (Odds are women’s studies) and a student said that females cheating in a relationship is justified because the odds are that a man will do it anyway. It was mind-blowing because two years earlier I heard that SAME FUCKING ARGUMENT in college and I wondered if women were really that lacking in common sense? Well, the past years have proven that answer to be yes because I have had to deal with no less than five female friends deciding that cheating was a viable option for THEM because they were hurt or unfulfilled or just plain whores (I believe all three but I am just a man…A man of awesomeness!) but if her significant other did it to them then he was the biggest cad since John Edwards. Now basic logic should state that if you feel the need to cheat then you shouldn’t be exclusively with someone in the first fucking place. End of story. If you can’t trust your partner and have to look for signs of their infidelity then the same goes for you, fucky. As I read this article, everything seemed like such a reach that it was like women intentionally look for signs that their boyfriend is cheating so they can justify cheating themselves. I mean honestly:
Grooming: Um…..I try to stay as manicured and fresh dressed as possible. As a big dude it isn’t easy but I make do with what I got. Now as for the trimming of the pubes….who the fuck doesn’t? No one wants to look like they have New Zealand in their fucking pants. Maybe women should follow that rule too….just a thought.
Super-protective of their Gadgets: Understand this right now. I don’t mind people on my computer and I didn’t mind my ex on my computer until everything became a signal for me being the uber-cheat. A paper with my and a females name on it? I’m fucking her. A song that doesn’t fit with the rest of them? I’m fucking her. A name on my ICQ (Old school!) that looked female? I am SO fucking her. It got fucking annoying. Don’t even get me started on my cell phone. Just because YOUR name is Sarah and I have four Sarah’s in my phone doesn’t mean I am fucking them. It means I know more people than just you. Being secretive with your stuff sometimes is just flat out easier than dealing with the nonsense that comes with unmitigated jealousy from the other party. Oh, and never have her friends number in your cell phone because that shit just ends up bad, even if you did know her first. Just don’t or learn to deliver a pride-obliterating bitch slap to shut her up.
Nothing Fazes Him Anymore: Okay….someone read this and tell me if this makes sense?
“If he was short-tempered before, a combination of added sex and attention could be making him way more relaxed, even downright giddy,” Vranich says. Adds Mira Kirshenbaum, author of When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts and Minds of People in Two Relationships: “If your guy is suddenly going around all happy and whistling, then you need to find out why.”
So let me get this straight, if your boyfriend is happy….he must be cheating on you? That makes….perfect fucking sense IF YOU ARE A GOD DAMNED FUCKTARD! Understand, about 75% of men are simple creatures. A man will be happy because Adrian Peterson got him 22 points in his Fantasy Football League. So to automatically assume that because your man is whistling “Moving Right Along”:
Makes you a dumbass. When I read that statement, this is what it translated into:
“How DARE you be happy and it not have to do with me?! Nigga, who is you fuckin?!”
That sums it up; women believe a man’s happiness is based off of her and her happiness is based on him being happy to be with her. That was fucking deep, son!
He Becomes Suspicious of You: Double edged sword. As a man I have been on both sides. When I WASN’T suspicious she was pissed because she thought I didn’t care and I had found someone else because she said she wanted to be with her friends more and I didn’t fight it (You are an adult, act like one). Then I was smothering because of previous events (Drink = story. You know my fee) I was very concerned about where she was going and who she was going with and she thought I was being paranoid and didn’t trust her. Well, I DIDN’T trust her and she gave me good reason but that is beyond the point. The point is that suspicion is normal because at the end of the day we all loved Magnum PI and Miami Vice (To a lesser extent, Where In The World Is Carmen San Diego?) and want to find out a crime or in this case infidelity. However, to say that because he is suspicious of you means he is cheating is grounded in irrational thinking. Which is pretty much where women stick their flag like Europe did to the majority of the Western fucking Hemisphere but thems the breaks. I understand the concept but in the end the logic is flawed because to think that means that you are either a) looking for an excuse to think he is cheating or b) you are guilty yourself. The Chachi has spoken!
Man that was rather hilarious. Like I always say, Cosmo is to me what Fox News and MSNBS are to a near-center Liberal: constant comedy and a source of never-ending confusion and disappointment in your fellow human being. I will be back on Friday for the Countdown and may be back up this weekend before the Venture Brothers season finale. Until then, stay up peeps!
Chachi Out!
O_o
Okay, first off I am a dude. I could care less about this kind of stuff but it is showing up on the side of my email a lot so I am figuring I am totally gay or everyone thinks I am which makes me TOTALLY FUCKING GAY. Being the inquisitive chap I am (Using new vernacular. Working for you? Nothing?) I decided to click on the link and boy…it just got worse from there. Here are some “highlights” of this pinnacle of female sexual journalism:
Dare To….Create An Alter Ego
Okay, I could see how this could be hot….if you are a fucking super-villain. You are a woman which makes you not ABLE to be a super-villain because super-villany is awesome and you are NO Dr. Girlfriend. Or Miss Monarch, it all depends. Now as one who has been avoiding and been avoided by “teh sex” for several years now I really don’t get any of this bullshit about role playing unless it involves school girl and senpai. Or anything and senpai because I just want to be called that because that shit is HOT. If you need to create an alter ego to be a whore then you are faking the funk. Real whores are whore twenty-four seven and we appreciate them for it!
Dare To….Pump Up The Dirty Dialoge
Okay, this is one that I get but I don’t LIKE. It is kind of like Guy Ritchie movies. The concept of talking dirty SOUNDS like a good idea but if you are talking…then I am obviously putting work in the wrong hole if you get my drift. If women have nothing of value to say when sex ISN’T being had, what makes them think I care about what they have to say in the act of coitus? EPIC-ZING! I kid, I kid. In all seriousness, talking dirty does nothing because the more you talk, the less you are sucking. Which I hear dudes enjoy over hearing about anything you have to say. Ever. Not that I would know, the female gender is a being that is foreign, godless and scary to me. Like Turks with boobies.
Dare To…..Put On The Porn
Fuck you, bitch. Unless you are going to DO the horrible, horrible things that Sasha Grey, Belladonna and Ashley Blue do for my uni-lateral carnal gratification then I have no need to watch porn with you. It isn’t like we are watching “27 Dresses” here. The kind of porn I want to watch isn’t going to be what SHE wants to watch and as we all know, the numbers of women that know about good porn (That aren’t actually performing in them and may god bless them because they do just as much for our freedom as anyone else in this country) run in about the 15% range IF THAT. You see, also there is something to be said for the fact that women don’t really know what men find sexually attractive. Sexually AROUSING is simple because men get hard-ons at the sight of just about anything resembling boobs or the random touch in a bar or subway. There is a reason why fashion designers, porn directors and music video casting agents are all male: they know what men want. Men don’t want to see women kissing each other (Well….smart men don’t) because that is a waste of time. Men want to see chicks kissing THEM. So what women assume men like ends up being de facto true because most men are simple and are aroused by pretty much anything. The last thing I need is to be stuck watching porn with a girlfriend and she gets all freaked out because she finds “Behind The Green Door” arousing cinematic erotica while I want to watch “Big Wet Asses 11”:
Julia Bond, Cody Lane AND Sativa Rose? Now that is porn at its FINEST! Yet I know for a FACT that women freak out about that kind of porn because I have seen it firsthand. Buy me a drink and I will tell you the story; funny shit especially because she was Mormon. Anyway, I don’t believe in this but if there IS a lady that is down to watch “Ass Worship 9” or “Invasian 2” holla at yo boy. I gots them both on the A-V-I.
Article #2: Do Guys Find You Intriguing?
Well, let’s look at this honestly. All men find all women intriguing. Just for different reasons. Men and their interest in women break down like this:
75% of men find what is in between your legs intriguing, and it could be anyone….not just you.
10% of men PRETEND to find you intriguing because they want what is between your legs but don’t want to be an uber-tool about it.
10% of men are gay and couldn’t give a fuck about you. Gay dudes rule, the Romans knew it, the Greeks knew it, Tom Cruise knows it and now you do. They are festive!
5% of men are dumbfounded by your stupidity and disgusted by your lack of common sense and self respect….but you are the only viable option aside from other dudes (The world frowns on collie/man relationships)
The numbers could be off….but they are not. The Chachi has spoken!
Article #3: How To Tell If A Guy Is Cheating
So I remember once that Zach was telling me about a conversation he had in class (Odds are women’s studies) and a student said that females cheating in a relationship is justified because the odds are that a man will do it anyway. It was mind-blowing because two years earlier I heard that SAME FUCKING ARGUMENT in college and I wondered if women were really that lacking in common sense? Well, the past years have proven that answer to be yes because I have had to deal with no less than five female friends deciding that cheating was a viable option for THEM because they were hurt or unfulfilled or just plain whores (I believe all three but I am just a man…A man of awesomeness!) but if her significant other did it to them then he was the biggest cad since John Edwards. Now basic logic should state that if you feel the need to cheat then you shouldn’t be exclusively with someone in the first fucking place. End of story. If you can’t trust your partner and have to look for signs of their infidelity then the same goes for you, fucky. As I read this article, everything seemed like such a reach that it was like women intentionally look for signs that their boyfriend is cheating so they can justify cheating themselves. I mean honestly:
Grooming: Um…..I try to stay as manicured and fresh dressed as possible. As a big dude it isn’t easy but I make do with what I got. Now as for the trimming of the pubes….who the fuck doesn’t? No one wants to look like they have New Zealand in their fucking pants. Maybe women should follow that rule too….just a thought.
Super-protective of their Gadgets: Understand this right now. I don’t mind people on my computer and I didn’t mind my ex on my computer until everything became a signal for me being the uber-cheat. A paper with my and a females name on it? I’m fucking her. A song that doesn’t fit with the rest of them? I’m fucking her. A name on my ICQ (Old school!) that looked female? I am SO fucking her. It got fucking annoying. Don’t even get me started on my cell phone. Just because YOUR name is Sarah and I have four Sarah’s in my phone doesn’t mean I am fucking them. It means I know more people than just you. Being secretive with your stuff sometimes is just flat out easier than dealing with the nonsense that comes with unmitigated jealousy from the other party. Oh, and never have her friends number in your cell phone because that shit just ends up bad, even if you did know her first. Just don’t or learn to deliver a pride-obliterating bitch slap to shut her up.
Nothing Fazes Him Anymore: Okay….someone read this and tell me if this makes sense?
“If he was short-tempered before, a combination of added sex and attention could be making him way more relaxed, even downright giddy,” Vranich says. Adds Mira Kirshenbaum, author of When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts and Minds of People in Two Relationships: “If your guy is suddenly going around all happy and whistling, then you need to find out why.”
So let me get this straight, if your boyfriend is happy….he must be cheating on you? That makes….perfect fucking sense IF YOU ARE A GOD DAMNED FUCKTARD! Understand, about 75% of men are simple creatures. A man will be happy because Adrian Peterson got him 22 points in his Fantasy Football League. So to automatically assume that because your man is whistling “Moving Right Along”:
Makes you a dumbass. When I read that statement, this is what it translated into:
“How DARE you be happy and it not have to do with me?! Nigga, who is you fuckin?!”
That sums it up; women believe a man’s happiness is based off of her and her happiness is based on him being happy to be with her. That was fucking deep, son!
He Becomes Suspicious of You: Double edged sword. As a man I have been on both sides. When I WASN’T suspicious she was pissed because she thought I didn’t care and I had found someone else because she said she wanted to be with her friends more and I didn’t fight it (You are an adult, act like one). Then I was smothering because of previous events (Drink = story. You know my fee) I was very concerned about where she was going and who she was going with and she thought I was being paranoid and didn’t trust her. Well, I DIDN’T trust her and she gave me good reason but that is beyond the point. The point is that suspicion is normal because at the end of the day we all loved Magnum PI and Miami Vice (To a lesser extent, Where In The World Is Carmen San Diego?) and want to find out a crime or in this case infidelity. However, to say that because he is suspicious of you means he is cheating is grounded in irrational thinking. Which is pretty much where women stick their flag like Europe did to the majority of the Western fucking Hemisphere but thems the breaks. I understand the concept but in the end the logic is flawed because to think that means that you are either a) looking for an excuse to think he is cheating or b) you are guilty yourself. The Chachi has spoken!
Man that was rather hilarious. Like I always say, Cosmo is to me what Fox News and MSNBS are to a near-center Liberal: constant comedy and a source of never-ending confusion and disappointment in your fellow human being. I will be back on Friday for the Countdown and may be back up this weekend before the Venture Brothers season finale. Until then, stay up peeps!
Chachi Out!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
I Used To Think It Was Funny...Until It Happend To Me.
What is up, ya'll? I am back once again (I spoil you all. I really do) with a new post and more shit that pisses me off. And awaaaaaaaaaaaaaay we go!
Things I Hate Right Now
1. The Duck Face/Trout Pout
Not sure WHY women do it, not sure WHY bros do it, not sure when this and the “rawk” symbol (Or “the shocker” which is no longer shocking after watching Japanese and German porn. Trust me; they do shit that makes the shocker seem like a firm handshake) or gang signs became popular to put on your MySpace or cell phone but stop it. You look like a fucktard and really make me happy that you get the shit kicked out of you by a musclebound asstard with a barbed wire tattoo and the brain capacity of a drunken marmot. I am not sure what makes women go from zero to trollop whore when a camera comes on but you cannot bitch about being treated poorly if you can’t do the simple action of smiling for a camera without looking like a drunken fuckwit. Seriously, stop that shit. Speaking of stupid shit…
2. People That Don’t Find Pedo Bear Funny
Seriously, look at that face! Does that cuddly bear look like a child molester to you? You are fucking right he does. I told you 10 years ago bears aren’t to be trusted and now look. They are kidnapping your daughters and having dirty bears sex with them. Pedo bear is ravishing your young daughter like Rob Lowe would do if you left her window open. Now some of you will say that I wouldn’t find Pedo Bear funny if I had a daughter but I don’t so he is fucking hilarious. They also said I would find “thirtysomething” funny once I got almost thirty but here we are and I am sure that show still sucks ass. Pedo Bear for President in 2008!
3. Date Rape
Maybe it is because I don’t go out on dates very often (Like….three in 2008 but I swore off women at the beginning of this year so that is all based off women asking me which I don’t like because it shows they haven’t taken the time out to look and see I am FUCKING INSANE and should run as far as humanly possible) or maybe that sex is the fifth most important thing I think about from a woman but I honestly have never understood date rape because I can tell a rapist from a mile away. You see this guy?
Rapist. Look at that forehead. Just SCREAMS he wants to take your virtue.
This guy?
Not a rapist. Quite the handsome fellow dare I say. And quite the dancer!
Simple. Now I am not trying to trivialize the act of date rape. I AM trivializing the act of date rape because if you are on a first date with someone and you get drunk enough to get into a situation where you are on your back (I don’t think it’s rape if you are on top. That’s….just not) with your legs akimbo then shit was going wrong well before that. Now maybe I am looking at this from the standpoint of a man and woman going out together, taking her back to her place (Because raping a woman in your home is just the dumbest shit I ever heard of. I mean….what the fuck?!) and then pinning her down and taking the pussy like Pepe but that just seems illogical. If you let him into your room….what the fuck?! Listen, rapists are like vampires. You have to INVITE THEM IN before they can attack you! Once they come in and attack you, it is well within your right to stab them in the heart with a stake. It’s in the Constitution AND the Bible so you know that shit is true. I honestly believe that once you are dumb enough to let a man into your room (Forcing himself in is breaking and entering and against the law. Congrats, the dipshit is going to jail and he should) it is like letting a lion into your room….and you bathed in zebra. I am not going to go into the Zebra Theory because you know it and if you don’t you should read up on it because it helps you avoid a lot of shit. Now “date rape” has been used to group in the act which I call “Casual Acquaintance Rape” which from my experience of talking to women about the subject is about 65%-70% (Not scientific numbers, just my observation) of rapes classified as “date rapes” which are pretty much like this:
Um…that’s not date rape. That is men and women being fucking retards. I always say that two drunk people fucking isn’t rape, it is TWO DRUNK PEOPLE FUCKING! Congratulations, you are a whore and he is a fucktard. You know, two drunken people fucking are like two drunk drivers getting into an accident. Who is to blame if both are drunk?
• The person with the lower BAC?
• The person on the right side of the road?
• The Asian because we know that they can’t drive? (I KID! I love Initial D!)
Neither. They are both at fault, they pay the damages for the cars and they lose their fucking licenses. I think it should be the same for two drunken people having sex. You chalk it up as a loss and charge it to the game. You cannot decide after the fact that you DIDN’T want to have sex if NEITHER ONE OF YOU were in your right minds to be having “teh sex” anyway. Guess what? You learned a valuable life lesson: don’t drink like a dumbass or you might get pwned. I have drank my fair share and blacked out a time or two (Maybe three, but I believe it is two) and I blame no one but myself. And whoever invented mojitos because them shits en masse can GET YOU DRUNK. Even still, I cannot say that the things I did or said drunk weren’t in line with my actions in the same situation sober. But I will say that I learned to never do that shit again, though.
At the end of the day, rape is rape. My stance or argument has never been that rape ISN’T rape because even if you are out a 2am in a nice car with your windows down with your hypeman on your roof “making it rain” with stack of $20’s while you blare out “Money Ain’t A Thang” by Jay-Z and Jermaine Dupri and you get jacked….no matter how much of a fucktard you were and you brought that shit into your zone….it is still robbery and it is still a tragedy. Not the ending of “Grave Of The Fireflies” tragedy but still.
Well, I am out for now. America’s Best Dance Crew Finale on Thursday!! Until then, the party continues peeps!
Kicking it old school, mofos!
Chachi Out!
Things I Hate Right Now
1. The Duck Face/Trout Pout
Not sure WHY women do it, not sure WHY bros do it, not sure when this and the “rawk” symbol (Or “the shocker” which is no longer shocking after watching Japanese and German porn. Trust me; they do shit that makes the shocker seem like a firm handshake) or gang signs became popular to put on your MySpace or cell phone but stop it. You look like a fucktard and really make me happy that you get the shit kicked out of you by a musclebound asstard with a barbed wire tattoo and the brain capacity of a drunken marmot. I am not sure what makes women go from zero to trollop whore when a camera comes on but you cannot bitch about being treated poorly if you can’t do the simple action of smiling for a camera without looking like a drunken fuckwit. Seriously, stop that shit. Speaking of stupid shit…
2. People That Don’t Find Pedo Bear Funny
Seriously, look at that face! Does that cuddly bear look like a child molester to you? You are fucking right he does. I told you 10 years ago bears aren’t to be trusted and now look. They are kidnapping your daughters and having dirty bears sex with them. Pedo bear is ravishing your young daughter like Rob Lowe would do if you left her window open. Now some of you will say that I wouldn’t find Pedo Bear funny if I had a daughter but I don’t so he is fucking hilarious. They also said I would find “thirtysomething” funny once I got almost thirty but here we are and I am sure that show still sucks ass. Pedo Bear for President in 2008!
3. Date Rape
Maybe it is because I don’t go out on dates very often (Like….three in 2008 but I swore off women at the beginning of this year so that is all based off women asking me which I don’t like because it shows they haven’t taken the time out to look and see I am FUCKING INSANE and should run as far as humanly possible) or maybe that sex is the fifth most important thing I think about from a woman but I honestly have never understood date rape because I can tell a rapist from a mile away. You see this guy?
Rapist. Look at that forehead. Just SCREAMS he wants to take your virtue.
This guy?
Not a rapist. Quite the handsome fellow dare I say. And quite the dancer!
Simple. Now I am not trying to trivialize the act of date rape. I AM trivializing the act of date rape because if you are on a first date with someone and you get drunk enough to get into a situation where you are on your back (I don’t think it’s rape if you are on top. That’s….just not) with your legs akimbo then shit was going wrong well before that. Now maybe I am looking at this from the standpoint of a man and woman going out together, taking her back to her place (Because raping a woman in your home is just the dumbest shit I ever heard of. I mean….what the fuck?!) and then pinning her down and taking the pussy like Pepe but that just seems illogical. If you let him into your room….what the fuck?! Listen, rapists are like vampires. You have to INVITE THEM IN before they can attack you! Once they come in and attack you, it is well within your right to stab them in the heart with a stake. It’s in the Constitution AND the Bible so you know that shit is true. I honestly believe that once you are dumb enough to let a man into your room (Forcing himself in is breaking and entering and against the law. Congrats, the dipshit is going to jail and he should) it is like letting a lion into your room….and you bathed in zebra. I am not going to go into the Zebra Theory because you know it and if you don’t you should read up on it because it helps you avoid a lot of shit. Now “date rape” has been used to group in the act which I call “Casual Acquaintance Rape” which from my experience of talking to women about the subject is about 65%-70% (Not scientific numbers, just my observation) of rapes classified as “date rapes” which are pretty much like this:
Um…that’s not date rape. That is men and women being fucking retards. I always say that two drunk people fucking isn’t rape, it is TWO DRUNK PEOPLE FUCKING! Congratulations, you are a whore and he is a fucktard. You know, two drunken people fucking are like two drunk drivers getting into an accident. Who is to blame if both are drunk?
• The person with the lower BAC?
• The person on the right side of the road?
• The Asian because we know that they can’t drive? (I KID! I love Initial D!)
Neither. They are both at fault, they pay the damages for the cars and they lose their fucking licenses. I think it should be the same for two drunken people having sex. You chalk it up as a loss and charge it to the game. You cannot decide after the fact that you DIDN’T want to have sex if NEITHER ONE OF YOU were in your right minds to be having “teh sex” anyway. Guess what? You learned a valuable life lesson: don’t drink like a dumbass or you might get pwned. I have drank my fair share and blacked out a time or two (Maybe three, but I believe it is two) and I blame no one but myself. And whoever invented mojitos because them shits en masse can GET YOU DRUNK. Even still, I cannot say that the things I did or said drunk weren’t in line with my actions in the same situation sober. But I will say that I learned to never do that shit again, though.
At the end of the day, rape is rape. My stance or argument has never been that rape ISN’T rape because even if you are out a 2am in a nice car with your windows down with your hypeman on your roof “making it rain” with stack of $20’s while you blare out “Money Ain’t A Thang” by Jay-Z and Jermaine Dupri and you get jacked….no matter how much of a fucktard you were and you brought that shit into your zone….it is still robbery and it is still a tragedy. Not the ending of “Grave Of The Fireflies” tragedy but still.
Well, I am out for now. America’s Best Dance Crew Finale on Thursday!! Until then, the party continues peeps!
Kicking it old school, mofos!
Chachi Out!
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