America....You SUCK ASS.

What the fuck, America?! I tune in to America’s Best Dance Crew and see Supreme Soul and Super Crew in the BOTTOM FUCKING TWO?! Never mind that I had them pegged as my final two crews but now it seems that America has been drinking turpentine or some shit because you fuckers got it wrong as all hell.

Now I know voting is about the rights of the people and their choice of who their representative is. However, you don’t vote for Daffy Duck for fucking president. You vote for a candidate that has skills to do the job. Now everyone will say that Fanny Pak and Boogie Bots are just as talented as Supreme Soul and Super Cr3w and that is blatantly false. Look at it like this: neither of those crews have (Won’t say can’t because I haven’t seen them try) shown the ability to breakdance, b-boy (Two different things), pop & lock or contemporary dance (Which Supreme Soul is the best, YES better than So Real Crew) as well as the bottom two crews. Hell, A.S.I.I.D. was more technically sound and in some cases more entertaining than Boogie Bots and Fanny Pak. I feel that people are either not voting or just voting based on….I really don’t know. I have yet to be blown away by a performance by Fanny Pak. Not one fucking time. Every crew (Sans SassX7) has had at least ONE performance where they literally killed it. Boogie Bots are living proof because they are living off of the “Game Over” performance which was admittedly the second best of the season. Last weeks evolution sendoff was awesome but Fanny Pak and even So Real Crew hasn’t had that performance that was style and substance. Super Cr3w has been steadily one of the top three crews and yet they are in the bottom two for the last two weeks? Just makes no sense.

What really pisses me off is how Supreme Soul has been treated. The fact that they were the best all-round crew and yet never really took off because they were so sound made them look like a smug Jaba without the masks. Seriously look at their performances. They were consistently awesome and got punished for not letting the song or performance take over their talent. They were the best mix of all the crews and since the MTV audience has the attention span of a coked up ferret if the routine doesn’t have something UBER-BALLISTIC people say “They didn’t even do anything” but they miss all the actual fucking dancing. But I digress. People voted for who they liked and what has happened has happened. I honestly believe that the challenges are created to be an equalizer but instead they hamper some crews ability and make the show not as good as last year where the crews had a lot more freedom to just go all out. It is like how the Europeans changed the rules of their game from the NBA to even the playing field in international basketball. By taking the athleticism out of the game as the major factor it allowed them to change the tempo and catch up (And yes, beat) the Americans. These challenges have evened the field to the point that actual dancing skills (Tutting, breaking, tricks) have been almost deemphasized. It has really changed the show….and not for the better IMHO. But it is my OPINION so shut the fuck up if you can’t adjust.

Well, I believe the bottom two next week will be So Real Crew and Boogie Bots with Boogie Bots going home. I believe none of this would even be happening if Distortion X would have beaten Fanny Pak LIKE THEY SHOULD HAVE. Mark it down: Super Cr3w vs. Fanny Pak in the final. Well, that is proof that god hates me and MTV intentionally fucks up my favorite shows. It is my life.

Well, the Countdown will be up tomorrow and I will give you a spoiler….

NEW NUMBER ONE VIDEO!!! But who will it be….check Friday to find out! Until then, stay up peeps. MAYBE X-Files tomorrow, too.

Chachi Out.

Blogging: Keeping Me From Punting Puppies Since 2006.

What is up peeps?! It has been a rather hectic last three days so I haven’t been posting but I am back and I have to say, I kind of missed it. Monday was really….interesting and today was pretty damn good. However, still in a pissy mood. If anyone one is down for some soju and karaoke on Friday, let me know.

So I have a new idea for a post. Today rather than rant I have decided to just drop off some things that have been pissing me off for the last few days. So today I give you my first ever…

Chachi’s Boiling Points!

Here are some things I have wanted to rant about but don’t really care enough about to put a full fledged rant on.

Boiling Point #1: Fuck Brett Favre

I am getting really sick of this shit. I have never really been a Green Bay Packers fan although I have a lot more respect for their fan base than the Boston or New York City markets because they exude douchebag out of all their orifices and pores like asshole pheromones. However, I am not understanding the mancrush that people have for this cockmonger. Now there has been a growing sentiment among White sportscasters (And although I don’t like Skip Bayless he brought it up and I commend him for it) that Black people do not like Brett Favre and feel he gets a free pass from the media (ESPN, CBS Sportsline, NBC Sports, etc) and you know what? He fucking does. I personally don’t think he has earned the right to get the same passes that a Joe Montana or a Steve Young or a Troy Aikman have earned but all I have to say about it is this. Favre retired and wanted to come back. That is fine and dandy. However, this plea to the people is utter bullshit. He took his ball and went home now he wants back in. He has been threatening the retirement thing for about five years or so and each year he has the Packers get on their hands and knees and take it in the face and gangle the balls like Eva Angelina (She does GOOD WORK, by the way) for him to come back just to do it again. Well, Green Bay finally said to eat their ass and now he wants to come back. Fine, but guess what? You go where they WANT YOU TO GO, asshat. You are under contract and they can do with it as they please. You are not special. I am no quarterback and a lot of you people will say I don’t have a right to say any of this but as a sports fan whose dollars indirectly (Or in some cases directly) effect his pay I do believe it is my place.

Favre has not earned the right to hold the Green Bay Packers hostage with his douchery. Yes, he is holding them hostage because they are well within their legal rights to do what they are doing by not succumbing to his demands of a unconditional release because he is under contract and they don’t fucking have to! He should either honor his contract (Which no one wants to acknowledge. He is being a dick by not wanting to honor the contract AND putting the team under an unnescessary microscope) and compete for the starting job, a job that he would win hands down or he should go where they decide to trade him. That should be it. No one has earned the right to be a douche. Think about it, he isn’t even the best QB of his generation! All of these guys are ahead of him:

1. Troy Aikman (Three Super Bowl wins)
2. Steve Young (One Super Bowl win, one backup appearance)
3. Jim Kelly (Four Super Bowl apperances)
4. John Elway (Two Super Bowl wins)

Hell, even now he isn’t one of the top five in the league:

1. Tom Brady (Mo Bitches Brady, fool!)
2. Peyton Manning (Same amount of rings, will end up breaking Favre’s records)
3. Carson Palmer (You know, could end up being the best of the bunch if Chad Johnson gets his head out of his ass)
4. Eli Manning (They have the same amount of rings, bitches. KISS THE RING!)
5. Donovan McNabb (Won more games than Pac-Man in this era and has been to a Super Bowl. Too injury prone for my tastes)
6. Ben Rothlisberger (See Eli Manning. The only thing that can stop him is a motorcycle. And a motorcycle. ZING! Not cool, I’m sorry)
7. Matt Hasselbeck (He has been to a Super Bowl in the last fucking decade. Although I don’t believe he has beaten the Pack in the playoffs. Ooohhh, the drama!)

Understand me very clearly: I have no stake in this aside from the fact I am a fan of football and I for one could not give a rats ass whether he comes back or not. The NFL existed before Favre and will be here long after he thankfully dies. Isn’t this the same fucktard that almost drank his way out of the league? Maybe I don’t drink enough to understand alcoholism (I have a family FULL OF THEM and I just don’t get it but people are different) but if you drink enough to almost throw a football career away TWICE then fuck you. Seriously, fuck you and die. Now get addicted to crack cocaine and now we have a real story. If you have to drink 19 beers because you “can’t take the pressure” and become an addict then you are a fucking pussy. Now injecting heroin because you can’t take the fame of being a rockstar….that’s RAWK. Brett Farve is not rock, he is a cockmonger and I am tired of hearing about it inbred Mississippi ass. Go to fucking work and take your medicine for being a punk because you didn’t get your way. I hope you end up a fucking New York Jet.

Boiling Point #2: Sorry About Your Loss…..But Your Song Sucks.

Why do people get all pissy when I don’t cry like a webcam whore that got used by an unemployed high school dropout for anal when I hear one of those “sad songs?” I mean I DO NOT LIKE “Tears In Heaven” by Eric Clapton. It doesn’t make me evil and it doesn’t make me heartless. The fact that I think of kicking puppies into small children like Mario kicks Koopa shells into Goombas for 200 points each is evil and I admit that. But just because I hear a song that make YOU cry and I think it sucks and change the station doesn’t make me a bad person. It means I don’t give a fuck about your emotions or feelings and if you don’t know that about me by now then you will never, ever, ever, know me. Oooooohhhhhh. I mean I get a little choked up when I hear “Crucify My Love” by X-Japan:

Which in my opinion is one of the best ballads ever written. But you may not like it and that is quite fine because music is an aquired taste for some people. Yet, I am expected to turn into a blubbering teenage bitch at the end of “Titanic” whenever one of these songs come on. So I have a new rule, peeps. Whenever one of these songs comes on the radio, TV or someone else’s home:

• Five For Fighting – 100 Years: God, I really don’t like this song. Mainly because as a Black man I am expected to die at about 37 or some shit. 100 years to live my ass, honkey!
• Anything by Sarah McLaughlin or Tori Amos: Aren’t they the same minimally talented almost raped piano asshat? I’m not sure; I kind of zone out and think about kittens because I hate these two so much.
• The Fray – How To Save A Life: God damn it, I HATE THE MOTHER FUCKING FRAY! It is bad enough I saw them in Boulder in like…2000 or some shit but they have been running with that SAME FUCKING SONG FOR LIKE 500 MILLENIA! And the next person that says this song kept them from getting an abortion is getting punched the fucking stomach. The Fray doesn’t care! More dumbass babies equals more record sales! God, it’s all a plot you dipshits!
• Elton John – Candle In The Wind: Does it make me a bad person because I could care less about the memory of Princess Di and even LESS about this annoyingly stupid song? Why have a candle in the wind in the first fucking place? Get a god damn flashlight.
• The Beatles – Yesterday: FUCK. THE. BEATLES. The were a boy band and a lame one at that. I hate this song and the next person that covers this song should be shot in the fucking face. It sucked then and it sucks now.
• Boyz II Men – So Hard To Say Goodbye (To Yesterday): Yeah, this song worked for “Coolie High” in the movie but that was it. It didn’t need to be remade by every fucking R&B group with their fucking shirts off. How ironic that so many songs sung by niggas talk about “yesterday” but they always repeat the same fucking problems. What’s goin on? Now THAT’S a kickass song.

You should break out in the “Caramelldansen” dance. When they ask why, tell them they are being a fucking downer and nothing cheers you up like a good dance session. While they cry about how you are being insensitive, sing the song louder and dance even harder. If you have a Stormtrooper outfit, throw that bitch on!

If that doesn’t cheer them up, they should be your friend any-fucking-way. Real friends know that dancing is medicine for the soul. That and soju. Well, that soju and karaoke. Or dancing, soju AND karaoke! You know what? I think that is my plan for Friday, who’s down?! Anyway, just because a song is emotional to you doesn’t mean it is emotional to me or I have to give a fuck. “Somewhere Out There” from An American Tale brings a tear to my eye but you may not give two fucks. And I respect that, so respect that I cannot stand that shitty ass “Butterfly Kisses” song. You aren’t the only one, Zach. I feel your pain. Besides, gaining power from peoples sorrow is my thing.

Boiling Point #3: I Hate The Movies. So Much.

So we all have seen the commercials at the movies that preceded the trailers and all I have to say is that I have had enough. I need to find out how to stop this shit. Before The Dark Knight there was a JC Penny’s commercial that completely shit on one of the best movies of the 80’s (Not one of the overrated ones) in The Breakfast Club. The dude behind me lost his mind as did I but I could not force my anger out (I thought my head was going to explode) into words, rather sound effects and eventually lemmas breathing.

Why do I have to sit through commercials at the theater when it should be my solace from the dipshittery that is TV commercials? Now some will say that I don’t HAVE to watch them but think about it. Movie theaters intentionally over sell theaters (Because many people don’t show) which means that a high number of movies are at capacity seating in the theater. In order to get a decent seat you have to show up early or you will be stuck someplace with a horrible angle or next to some stupid ass kid and their parents that wont shut them the fuck up because they think that being a little shit is “spirited behavior” when it is really “piss poor parenting”. So in order to get adequate seating you have to show early and stay in the theater lest your seats be given away by the crack staff at your local movie house because that grade school education of theirs gives them the authority to tell the people that showed up ON TIME to move in to the center so the cockgobblers that showed up late can get the seats that they came early to get. Fuck you, fuck your commercials, fuck your theater, fuck your high prices, fuck your seat-whoring and most importantly fuck Front Row Joe’s furry ass. Fucking freaks. They are so lucky that I would have walked through Alabama tonguing down Carrie Underwood and back to see The Dark Knight or I would have left and pissed all over the walls of the bathroom and concession stands. After a plentiful meal of asparagus and beer, mind you. Sounds horrible but I am that pissed off.

Well, that is all for now. I am going to bed. Tomorrow is ABDC and there are only five left! I didn’t do my recap last week so I may do one tomorrow night real time, not sure yet. Until then, stay up peeps.

Chachi Out!

I Bring To Thee....Tidings Of Good Joy And Awesomeness!

Well people, The Wolven has gotten back from his multiple screenings of The Dark Knight to deliver his final rules for we Chachists to follow. So I give to you the last five of…

The Ten Commandments Of Chachism!

Commandment #6: Thou Shall NOT Engage In Any Forms Of Brodom.

A little known fact about The Wolven: he hates bros. Whether it be the Euro-Bro, the Real Bro (What bros can Black bros which just….makes me want to kill…), the GI Bro or the new one Prep-Bro he hates them all. Understand one thing, people. Being a bro is not a way of life, it is a way of douchedom. Turn your hat straight, turn off the Jack Johnson and for fucks sake flip your FUCKING COLLAR DOWN. Jackass.

Commandment # 7: Thou Shall Get Yourself Wicked Ink, As Long As It Isn’t Lame.

The Wolven is all about partying hard and rawking even harder but at the same time The Wolven is all about common sense. We that practice Chachism are seen as mean and uncaring because we think that people that do dumb shit deserve no sympathy. Now we believe that it is everyone’s right to get tattoos. Just be forewarned: unless your ink is straight up sick (For example Gary. HE HAS AN OCP TATTOO! TITS OR GTFO! The Wolven approves, Gar. He wants tattoos but he’s kind of furry. Doesn’t show up well) you will have your tattoo removed by the gnashing teeth and the flailing claws of the drunken wombat minions of the Lord of Chachism. You have to stand kind of still because drunk wombats have really poor depth perception but you get the idea. We don’t fuck around with people that have tribal band tattoos on their arms or ANYTHING on the small of your back. The Wolven doth not like that shit and he will not put up with it.

Commandment #8: Thou Shall Spare The Peanut Butter & Jelly…And Beat A Child With A Baseball Bat.

Now in Chachism, children are not to be heard. Well, unless they are screaming from a well deserved ass kicking. We live in a day and time where children have meals and networks solely for their enjoyment and The Wolven says to hell with that shit. You know what wolves do when they don’t eat their own young? They wear them out with a racetrack set! They don’t even have opposable thumbs and they beat their young! Why don’t others do the same? Aint a damn thing a right cross don’t fix. My grandfather said it, my momma said it and The Wolven says it. Besides, busting your kids (Or others kids. I think beating children should be a community event. Like a giant block party!) upside their head when they are young keeps the fear of The Wolven in them so they don’t bust a stranger upside their head in a robbery. Cosmic.

Commandment #9: Thou Shall Only Cheat If You Are Ready To Meet The Business End Of A Fist.

Now Chachism isn’t big on marriage as an institution but we do respect that fact. The Wolven personally believes that marriage should be reserved as a punishment for people that truly hate each other which goes against the norm but so does the worship of an eagle that transforms into a wolf. We in the Chachi Church believe that if you are enough of a fucktard to cheat on someone then you should be punished in the worst way possible: sex with this dude.

We believers of Chachism believe in fidelity. And hi-fidelity but mostly fidelity. Cheaters will get the business end of a pistol upside their dome-piece for being fucktards.

Commandment #10: Thou Shall Abide By Two Words: KEEP IT REAL!

In the end, The Wolven knows that Chachism isn’t for everyone. At the same time, all he wants is for people to restecpa each other. Isn’t that what religion is all about? Well….no but this one is. When the followers of Chachism will always keep it real with all the people out there as long as you stay true to yourself and know that Jesus was a Jew. He should have been a lot better with his money I would think. He could TOTALLY license the image of the cross for some phat Diddy cash. I digress. In the end, all The Wolven wants is for us to be cool with one another. Oh, and be of course get funky:

Oaktown 357 in effect!!

So now you know the simple rules you must consider to be a member of the Church of Chachi. Now we all know The Wolven isn’t big on rules (He voted against instant replay in the NFL and the new zone in the NBA) but if you don’t follow them….he will burn your craps….err…crops. Oh, and he will totally fuck up your shit with his eye lasers. I’ve seen it; he totally wrecked Stephen Baldwin’s house. Well, I will be back either tomorrow or Wednesday (Likely Wednesday) with an update. Until then, stay up and praise the Wolven!

Chachi Out.

Bright Days, Dark Knights.

What is up, people?! Everything is a day late due to the awesomeness of The Dark Knight and having to see it twice but you know what? WELL WORTH IT! So for the first time in about a month, I give to you…

Master Chief Captain Chachi Goes Hollywood!

This Weeks Movie: “The Dark Knight”

Okay, let’s just get this out of the way. There were like….two bad things about this movie. Since everything else was mind-bogglingly awesome let’s get those out of the way:

CONS

Gargling With Marbles: So Christian Bale has done an awesome job with being both Bruce Wayne (Better than Michael Keaton) and a great PHYSICAL presence of Batman. However, Rick put it best when we were talking about the differences between “Batman Begins” and “Superman Returns”:

“Since when did Batman have a lisp?”

After listening to “The Dark Knight” (And thinking about “Batman Begins”) I realized that he is right. Now the mechanics of the suit (His nose is held in place to avoid being broken in falls and fights) I can understand some of why he sounds like Ja Rule but in extended sequences of dialog, it kind of wore on my nerves. I also know he had to disguise his voice but would it hurt to have done a Bobcat Golthwait impersonation? I kid, I kid.

The Heath Is….Gone: Now the ending of the film, which I will not ruin because it was AWESOME, would have been great if Heath Ledger lived. With his passing, the eventual third movie in the retooled Batman franchise is kind of left without a villain. Now they have a lot to work with (I was hoping for a DONE RIGHT Mr. Freeze combined with Deathstroke the Terminator or Deadshot (Although those would TOTALLY WORK for a sequel to Superman Returns if they do one. Slade has been way underrated in DC’s comics and misused since Identity Crisis when he owned the old school Justice League). Hell, I will write the plot right now!) but I still wish the ending was a tad different. But overall, I am not complaining due to the circumstances.

Now….for the infinite pros of The Dark Knight:

PROS

Why So Serious? Because It’s AWESOME: Okay, I had no less than three posts about how I was going to boycott “The Dark Knight” because of Heath Ledger’s performance. Hell, I even was going to create a mob to give him the business. Well, I am glad I didn’t because he put Jack Nicholson’s performance of the Clown Prince of Mayhem to shame. Now they were two different takes on the character but I believe that when compared against each other, Heath’s performance runs circles around Jack’s. His performance in my opinion may just be the best villain in cinema history. Better than Hannibal Lector and better than even Lord Zodd in Superman II (The benchmark for comic book villains). Even the takes by Ian McKellan of Magneto and Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor (An underrated performance, mind you) were nowhere near the Joker. He was insane at the same time as being cunning. He was irreverent at the same time as being a genius. He was quirky at the same time as being psychotic. Heath when from borderline hilarious to full on batshit crazy (Pun intended) and that is what made it awesome. In my view of the Joker, the only difference between he and Batman is the fact that Batman sees no joy in killing or anarchy. He uses his mind to help. The Joker uses his mind to create the joke that humans at their core are all like him…just a little strange.

It’s All About Pacing: Okay, I can honestly say there was never a point where I was bored in this movie. What got me is that The Dark Knight was only TWO MINUTES SHORTER than Superman Returns and at the hour and fifty minute mark I was rather bored (Ask Zach, I went to sleep) with the film because there had been no action. The film itself IMHO was very good but poorly paced between character building and action. The Dark Knight showed the Star Wars series (Too much crap), Spiderman series (Too much character building) and the Matrix series (Too much action) how it is done. Same for the X-Men series, which is the closest we have to a mix of plot and action (Especially X-Men United). Christopher Nolan was able to build The Joker, Harvey Dent AND Batman in two and a half hours with a hell of a lot of action tossed in there. Quite honestly, it was long and awesome. The pacing reminded me a lot of 300, in which as soon as you felt “Okay, this is enough character time” there was something blowing up or someone getting killed. Perfect all around.

Acting….It Is A Lost Artform: The performances of the first movie carried the film although everything about it was awesome. When you watch The Dark Knight, it is almost like the action and Heath Ledger’s portrayal of The Joker overshadow that this movie had strong performances by every single cast member, even the auxiliary ones. From Michael Jai White (SPAWN, FOOLS!) to Tiny Lister they all had pivotal roles in moving the plot to its climax and ending. Unlike secondary characters in Spiderman, Superman Returns and even The Incredible Hulk (I could have done without Master Mind or whatever his name is as the scientist) that pulled the movie down a tad, EVERY CHARACTER in The Dark Knight played a purpose. Even the Wayne Industries employee that was a MINOR PLAYER became a major plot device by the end. That is a good movie, wrapping all aspects together in one story instead of having shock value.

Writing, It’s Not Just For Emo Kids: This was without a doubt the best dialogue I have heard in a movie in quite a long time. What got me was the back and forth between The Joker and Batman. Even if you aren’t a fan of the comic you could relate and even SIDE with The Joker about the nature of humans. The plot wrapped the concept of anarchy, truth, justice, insanity and even life’s plan into the story and was played out in three ways in the three main characters: order, anarchy and chance. Just listen to the scenes with Bruce Wayne and Harvey Dent or Bruce Wayne and Alfred. Some of those scenes felt like they were straight out of the comic book (Some actually were. Bonus points for those that recognized the ode to Jason Todd when Batman was getting served at the end with a pipe!) and it really gave the writing a feel that we only saw in (some parts) Iron Man and (in fewer parts) Spiderman.

THAT TRUCK FLIPPED THE FUCK OVER!: Okay, I will first say that nothing will EVER….and I mean EVER top the flight scenes in Superman Returns in mark-out value. Iron Man came close and Spidey webslinging was bad ass but all I can say is this: watching the action sequences in The Dark Knight came hella close. When Batman jumped off buildings, when he flipped over the truck and the WHOLE ENDING SEQUENCE were all visual masterpieces that totally captured what would happen in a Batman comic. The fight scenes were wrapped in realism which was good in some cases but in others it made them look to hard but that is because Batman is human and can’t toss cars. It really is why I believe that Batman has become more popular with people in the non-comic arena. He is just a rich man fighting crime and has nothing but his money and mind to stop evil. Surprisingly, all it takes is the human mind and a shitload of cash to deliver top notch thrills.

Okay, you KNOW what this movie is going to get and it is well deserved. This movie is twice as good as Batman Begins which is saying A LOT because that movie gave me faith in life again. All hyperbole aside, you need to see this movie if you like any kind of cinema. This broke box office records and the reason was because it transcends all ages, races, genres and sexes. I hated how all the movies this summer were geared toward markets (Sex In The City for women, Iron Man and Hellboy II for men, Kung Fu Panda and Wall-E for kids but Pixar movies are different) and yet The Dark Knight stood on the merit of great acting, a socially responsive story and characters that have stood the test of time since the 1930’s. Comic book fan or not, The Dark Knight is well worth any price (I have seen it three times and I don’t care what anyone says. It was that good) and yes….may be the most complete movie ever made. I went there. So if you haven’t guessed, The Dark Knight receives…

10 Out Of 10 Stars
(This movie, take away some major fanboy nit-picking is the best movie of 2008, the best movie of the 2000’s and may just be one of the greatest films created. It has everything and does it all well. If nothing else, see it for Heath Ledger’s haunting performance of a character that may be the most difficult to pull off the way he did. Rest in peace, Heath. You did an awesome job and I heard you were worried if fanboys would enjoy your rendition of The Joker. Take it from me….on behalf of all fanboys…you ARE The Joker. I hope you win the Oscar for Best Actor because THIS is how you define a character. Get off your ass and see this movie)

That is all for now. I am working on a rant as you read this and I will either put it up tonight or tomorrow afternoon. Until then, stay up. AND GO SEE THE DARK KNIGHT!!

Chachi Out.

Sorry Peeps, But "The Dark Knight" Comes First...

Sorry about yesterday! I had to go to the greatest movieever made yesterday and I forgot to finish up! It is a day late, but it is time for the belated Friday staple!

Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!

We begin this week with a shocking debut!

20. Fonzworth Bentley feat. Andre 3000 & Kanye West – Everybody [Don’t Stop] (New Entry)

….What in the hell?! That’s what I said, too! I have never been a fan of Fonzworth Bentley but when I first saw this video was blown away! I never thought I would see Kanye and Andre 3000 on the same song because my head would explode. But they have and it didn’t.
19. Aqua Timez - Niji (Last Week #14, Plunge of the Week)
Looks like Aqua Timez days on the Countdown are numbered. Quite a shame that this video didn’t achieve the success of “ALONES” but they aren’t going away anytime soon.
18. Lee Hyori – U Go Girl (New Entry)

Oh….my….damn. Hyori is back like cooked crack! After the debacle that was her “Dark Angel” album (Which I LOVED, mind you) she is finally back with a sexy new video and a hot new song. Hyori has been the one chink (NOT A SLUR! I SWEAR! Although she isn’t Chinese…) in my “I don’t like skinny chicks” armor and rightfully so. She has also worked on the dancing, too. She is no NaNa, but still. Welcome back, Hyo Ri!
17. RBD - Empezar Desde Cero (Last Week #20)
RBD moves up three spots this week! Anyone know when the RBD TV show (Not “Rebelde” the one where it is like a hot Partridge Family) is coming out on DVD?
16. Kelun – SIXTEEN GIRL (Last Week #12)
Kelun is the only artist with two videos on the Countdown this week and joins a long list of artists that has had that happen. However , Yui is the only artist to have THREE videos on here which is a feat that may never be matched.
15. Alicia Keys – Teenage Love Affair (Last Week #9, Plunge of the Week)
ALICIA HAS RELEASED A VIDEO FOR “SUPERWOMAN!” I just downloaded it, I will let you know what I think after I see it!
14. Toshinobu Kobuta feat. Misia - Flying Easy Loving Crazy (Last Week #11, Two Weeks at #1)

Where is your damn album?! I needs me a full dosage of TK!
13. Yui – Summer Song (Last Week #15)
So Yui looks to achieve her record SEVENTH Top 10 video! She moves up two spots this week and looks to have another contender for the Album of the Year Chachi Award. Can she finally win it? She was beat out by John Legend in 2006 and Kanye West (IN A CLOSE ONE) in 2007. Maybe this is her year!
12. Seamo feat Ayuse Kozue - Honey (Last Week #13)
Seaom is still hanging around, moving up one spot to number twelve. His album is pretty bad ass (I love “Cry Baby”) and he may be looking for an award. You have come a long way, sir.
11. Kelun – CHU-BURA (Last Week #18)
FUCK YEAH! The biggest song to hit the Countdown since “Hero’s Come Back!” jumps up a MASSIVE seven spots this week for Kelun! This lands him right outside of the Top Ten as he looks to join Usher, Yui, Alicia Keys and HIGH AND MIGHT COLOR as the only artists with two Top 10 videos in 2008. Big ass year for these guys!
10. BACK-ON – Sands of Time (Last Week #6)
After peaking right outside of the Top Five, BACK-ON begins our Top 10 this week. It was a fun ride for them but this won’t be the last time we hear from these guys. Guaranteed.
9. T.I. – No Matter What (Last Week #17, Biggest Mover)

Now for the biggest mover of the week! T.I. jumps a massive TWELVE SPOTS in the biggest jump in Countdown history to give him is sixth Top 10 video! The King is back and “Paper Trail” is looking to be an Album of the Year contender if he keeps this up! I am really feeling “Swing Ya Rag” as once again….Swiss Beatz gets me amped.
8. YA-KYIM – Super Looper (Last Week #5, Three Weeks at #1)
After a long run of two months in the Top Five, YA-KYIM finally falls out! It has been a big year and I am anxiously waiting for a new video from these ladies. I NEED ME SOME!
7. Ikimono-Gakari - Bluebird (Last Week #10)
Things are about to get interesting as Ikimono-Gakari moves up three big spots this week. We have T.I, Kelun and Hyori Lee with new videos so this will be a big summer for the Number One spot! Get ready for a rumble!
6. Wonder Girls – So Hot (Last Week #8)

So Wonder Girls are one step away from the Top Five this week. I wonder how they are going to follow this up because this song is as big in Korea as “Fly Me To The Moon” is in Japan. That is HUGE if you don’t get the reference. If you do, we should hang out.
5. Chris Brown - Forever (Last Week #3)
Chris Brown falls two spots this week as he fails to take the top spot! After two weeks at number three he fails to break through but stays in the Top Five. He us up here with some big dogs in the Countdown lore so it was an uphill battle.
4. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Hot Limit (Last Week #7)

HAMC are back near the top! Can this video do what “Amazing” failed to do against Bennie K and take the throne? I am all about this song (And the live performance of this song was very badass) but we are getting into some TOUGH territory! We are down to three!
3. Usher – Moving Mountains (Last Week #4)
And we start with the Ush! After several weeks of huge moves upward, Usher only jumps up one spot this week but he is into the Top Three once again! He is now making a push for the Artist of the Year but he will have to do a little better than number three to get it.
2. Paramore – That’s What You Get (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)

The run is over! After two well deserved weeks on the throne of the Countdown, Paramore falls a spot to number two! It has been a long trek of over a year and two failed attempts to take the crown but they finally did it! However, they fall this week which means we have a new number one video!
1. Game feat Keisha Cole – Pain (Last Week #2, One Week at #1)

West Coast is in effect! After three videos in the Top Three that failed to take the number one spot, The Game has finally become the champ! It has been a long road for The Game but he has the crown and it is well deserved! Even better, he has a video for “Dope Boyz” coming soon which mean “LAX” will be in the deck come August 26th. Until then, bask in the Game, bitches!

That is all for this week! Tune in next Friday (Back on schedule!) to see if The Game and Keisha Cole can make it two weeks in a row! Or can Paramore take back the top spot for rock? Or will Usher move the mountain one more time and get his second Number One video of 2008?

Alright, sorry about yesterday but I HAD TO SEE “THE DARK KNIGHT!” It is a beautiful Saturday so I am going to hop in the shower and run the streets of the CSP. I will definitely be back tomorrow. Until then, stay up peeps!

Chachi Out.

I Am Now Pregnant With Christan Bale's Love Child.

I know, I said I was going to see The Dark Knight at 7:45 tonight (Which I still am. I got a comped ticket from buying the Justice League DVD earlier this year. SWEET!) but I couldn’t wait. I had to see it this afternoon after my interview. Understand this...right now....

GREATEST. FUCKING. MOVIE. EVER. CREATED. NOT. STARRING. LO PAN.

Nay, dare I say The Joker was more kick ass than Lo Pan. I know, I am shocked to say it too! Once you come to grips that it is about 2 and a half hours of non-stop awesomeness you realize you have just seen Heath Ledger redefine what it means to be not evil, but a villain. You just...have to see it. If you read "The Killing Joke" then you know how the performance will be. If you didn’t, you will be blown away by how he does this. I again take back all the bad things I said about him after "Casanova" because he fucking RAWKED this movie.

Only bad part: Christian Bale sounds like he gargled with a porcupine when he is Batman. Not really bad as much as you have to look deep as shit for the flaws. BIG UPS TO THE ORACLE SHOUT OUT! In other words, get up and see this movie....right the fuck now.

Oh, and for the uber-nerds out there….BASK IN THE AWESOMENESS THAT IS “WATCHMEN!!!”

Two words: FUCK and YEAH.

Full review on Sunday. Gives me time to clean myself up.

Chachi Out.

And It Shall Become, So Says The Muthafuckin' Wolven.

What is up, people?! I am back after a hiatus (Yesterday I was tired as all fuck so I didn’t post. Sorry but my health comes first) and first off I have to say things:

FUCK COLORADO SPRINGS.

Last night at like 3AM the power went out. I checked the breaker and no switches flipped or fuses blew so I looked outside and the WHOLE BLOCK WAS OUT. What the fuck?! This isn’t Chicago or New York City so I see no real need for a brownout. It isn’t like they aren’t charging out of the ass for utilities; just upgrade the fucking grid! Asshats.

So after the popularity of my Random Thoughts (Big ups to Commander Boogeyman and the four anonymous Blogger people for the comments. Restecpa!) I think I am going to do another one when the beat hits me. They ARE random thoughts, right? However, I do want to touch on something I posted in my “Passion of Chachi Omnibus: Year In Review.” I think that people have gotten real….stupid about a lot of things since 2000. This is by far the worst decade I have been a part of. Yes, including the fucked up 90’s. Any era where Ace of Base is considered “good” is not a good one. I have really had enough of faux lesbians, bros, Black people complaining about being held down when they don’t even have a tie, women complaining about being held down when they laid on their back in the first place (BURN, WHORES!) and of course the douchification of teenagers. You know what they need? Religion. But not just any religion….

CHACHISM!

Yes, starting today I will be the prophet for the words of the great Chachi (As spoken to by the Wolven) as he unleashes his anger upon the people that have not followed his rules and regulations! And people….HE IS PISSED!
I mean real pissed. I haven’t seen him this mad since they cancelled “Undergrads”:

His anger gave us Flavor Of Love, you know. So, let the Wolven’s words be spoken through me as I am nothing more than a vessel and his unpaid labor…like Farnsworth Bentley was to P. Diddy. I now give you…

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF CHACHISM!

Today I shall give you the first five! Not because they are on tablets, but because The Wolven only gave me five. He’s kind of a jerk like that sometimes but he has claws and fangs and eyelasers so I don’t question it. Whenever I do, he destroys my craps. Err….crops.

Commandment #1: Thou Shall Worship Any God, Just Know He Is A Cockmonger

You see, in Chachism you are free to believe in any other bullshit God you believe in. Whether you are a Christian, Muslim, Heeb or even believe in Mormon Jesus (A little shorter than regular Jesus) you are free to practice Chachism. However, by not believing in the Wolven as the one and only true creator of life and destroyer or worlds….he is going to fuck your shit up. How do you ask? By sending KENTA after your bitch ass:

GTS, MOTHERCUNTS! That means “Go 2 Sleep” for the plebeians. We followers of Chachism believe that aside from Scientology, whatever you believe in that makes you a better person is quite alright. Just understand that it belongs in your own fucking home. No one cares if you love Jesus. If he was so damn great, why didn’t he create wine and cheese? Or break dancing? The Wolven not only invented those things, he also invented the Peanut Butter Jelly Time dance. That alone is worthy of worship. However, the Wolven doesn’t NEED your worship because unlike Jesus’ punk ass, the Wolven is knee deep in bitches right now and giving them a deep dicking. One is your girlfriend, wife AND mother and he and Buddha are breaking her in like shoes on a fat chick. Amee Donavan style. So feel free to believe in your religion, just for awesomeness recognize that it’s either the Wolven, TITS OR GTFO!

Commandment #2: Thou Shall Drink Excessively, But All Rights Shall Be Revoked Within Acts Of Douchery.

The Wolven loves his liquor, even more than he loves the ladies. Mainly because with enough liquor and Rohypnol (Ruffies for those that believe in the law….pussies) any lady will let you love her. In the butt, because we all know that what, what is in the butt?

Love is in the butt. Now the Wolven is about the liquor, but he is also about common sense and moderation. You see, the Wolven sees how liquor is used as a crutch for being stupid and he is irate at you human shits. You see, just because you were drunk does NOT absolve you of stupidity. The Wolven believes that alcohol consumption is a right, not a privilege. You misuse that right then we in Chachism believe that the only choice we have…is to kill you. In the most painful ways possible.

Commandment #3: Thou Shall Respect The Porn Star.

The Wolven believes that porn is the spirit of life. Porn stars are the REAL ONES defending our freedom because when you think about it, without porn the Japanese, Germans, Koreans and Russians would be batshit crazier and probably started WWIII already. Hell, the Middle East rejects porn and look at them. THEY ARE FUCKING NUTS! Porn makes awesome men gods, normal men sane and crazy motherfuckers from using guns and bombs. Better to have their hands on their wangs and a mouse than holding a baby and a detonator, right? Exactly. The Wolven does have his issues with hypocrites and asshats. So for all the hater bitches and hater Jesus freaks that say that porn stars are nothing but whores, you will be killed. Especially women because you are the New England Patriots of haters. Porn stars are the REAL heroes as they do the gangbangs and take the money shots so you don’t have to. You should be down on your knees either sucking a wang (Which…you know, the Wolven believes is the only way you will get into Happy Action Funtime Heaven) or praying to the Wolven in thanks that Sasha Grey exists:

Whoa…..the Wolven thinks Sasha Grey should be a prophet for Chachism. I have seen that woman do things that will turn your world asunder and make you question everything you ever believed in. Some of what she does makes me have to go pray. And I am a pervert. Aren’t YOU glad that you don’t have to do what she does and your boyfriend or husband watches porn to get that out? You should worship them, as the Wolven created porn stars for all of us to be happy. Thank you, Wolven!

Commandment #4: Thou Shalt RAWK THE FUCK OUT!

If there is one thing the Chachism is about, it is RAWK. The Wolven rocks out with his cock out at least four times a week and when he does, you better believe that he is listening to music at levels that would cause the human head to explode after five seconds. No shitty Christian rock for the Chachists out there as we only listen to the rawkingest of jams. Unless it is:

Maximum The Hormone: J-Thrash, Ball-Busting, Face-Mangling AWESOMENESS

Mindless Self-Indulgence: Hip-Hop, Industrial, 80’s Rock…Fuck it, THEY JUST KICK ASS

Ronnie James Dio: HOLY DIVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Then you suck ass. Seriously, you suck ass and take a dirtpipe milkshake and roman shower at the same time. Look it up…they aint pretty. The Wolven DOTH NOT APPROVE!

Commandment #5: Thou Shall Not Dress In What Does Not Flatter

Understand one thing right now: The Wolven loves the ladies. In all shapes and sizes the Wolven believes that you all need the sweet, sweet loving. However, with that being said he also believes in practicality. If your ass is wearing something that doesn’t cover your ass then you really need to get clothes that fit or accept the fact that you shouldn’t be wearing it. Now the Wolven chose a heavy set man (Yours truly in all of his chocolaty thunder and sexiness) to spread his word and I know that I need to put on a good fashion front. So why do women find it necessary to wear clothes that arent even suited for skinny women? The Wolven does not approve and he will not stand for it. There will be swift punishment for women that disobey the rules of fashion. For men, also so don’t think you get off easy. First off, it is OKAY by The Wolven if you want to wear a t-shirt with a cartoon character on it. He is a fan of the 80’s especially BraveStarr:

Just make sure the t-shirt FUCKING FITS. As a matter of fact, make sure all your clothes fit. Occasional slip ups aside, you know GOD DAMN WELL you shouldn’t be in your little brothers shirt. You may have muscles and it is fine to show them. But wearing clothes that don’t fit when you are skinny enough to have all the sizes you need in your department means there is no excuse for wearing an extra medium shirt. The Wolven doesn’t approve and once he comes back he is going to rip your fucking arms off and drink the juice from inside. He does NOT fuck around with asshole douches!

The Wolven has spoken to you through me! When he gets back from hanging out with David Bowie on Alderan I will have the last five of his Commandments for you. Until then, tune in tomorrow when I WILL have an update about…something. Until then, PRAISE THE WOLVEN!

Chachi Out.

And Now, We Return To The Regularly Scheduled Crap.

What is up, bitches! I am back for a Monday update after a little bit of soju and a lot of angst. Not sure why, but people are pissing me off as of late. First off, I want to thank everyone that read the Omnibus Trilogy over the weekend. Over 150 people read the thing which for me is a lot seeing as I know about seven people total. I thank all of you. Except for YOU. And you know who you are. There is a vowel in your name…you always wear a hat. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! Now for some random shit.

Chachi’s Random Thoughts

1. What if sperm had the consistency and taste of blue cheese dressing? I think women wouldn’t complain about swallowing so much, but wouldn’t it hurt coming out?
2. Abortions should be a rite of passage, like a sweet sixteen, bris or doing karaoke to Journey. People complain about how abortion is murder. So the fuck what? The more babies in the world, the higher gas prices go because their parents have to shuttle them around. Also, the sale of alcohol will go up because beating children for being dipshits is frowned upon. Let’s not even talk about the time it will take for Santa to deliver more presents for more kids. That’s China’s fault.
3. I wish I were a kitten. They just seem like they have it all figured out from birth. Except how to get out of a paper bag. That eludes them till their death. In a cat’s defense, paper bags are a bitch to get out of.
4. David Bowie was, is and always will be a FUCKING TREND SETTER. To all you bitches that have the audacity and lack or understanding of the awesome:

5. I hate weed commercials. They always have people getting up and doing stupid shit as a parallel smoking weed. Those people are smoking some really shitty weed. Good weed has you so high that you believe that you just saved the Princess when you haven’t left your seat. I gets high, nigga! Just playin.
6. Soju is the reason why Korea puts up with their own weirdness. After two bottles of soju I puts up with a lot of shit. Because that shit is awesome! And it tastes like rape! I mean if rape had a taste….
7. I need a cigarette. Seriously, I want anyone who has ever BEEN in a “Truth” commercial (The shitty ones about smoking), watched a Truth commercial and believed it or ever quoted anything from the commercial and expected something other than being beaten to death with a golf club and had tobacco leaves shoved up their ass to fucking die. People smoke because they fucking want to. There is a lot of uninhabited parts of America so if you don’t like smoking go find one of those areas, shoot yourself in the fucking head and die because if other people smoking is your biggest issue in life you deserve to fucking die. I hate you, your children, your family and your hamster. Your cat and dog are cool.
8. Smart and funny women are hard to find. When you DO find them, they are usually dating a douchebag, a bro, a hippie or a douchebag hippie bro. Makes them feel better about themselves. I understand; I had the phase where I hung out with people fatter than me so I could get the chicks. On the other hand, if they are dating a douchebag hippie bro they can’t be that smart, right?
9. If you drive a Prius you are a notch below people that own Scions. You pretentious pussies aren’t saving the world with your car any more so than I am by setting trees on fire and using aerosol cans for EVERYTHING. Just because you drive an “eco-friendly” car doesn’t mean that you are any better than Hitler. He believed in hybrid tanks. Congrats hippie pussy douchebag tree-fucker, you are no better than Hitler. That dick used GAS ovens! Fuck an ozone layer!
10. Lastly….Nolan was right. The mall punk chic look is kind of fucking hot:

Man, Dulce Maria is so damn fine. It's like she is saying "I'm naughty and need to be punished, but I also like Orange Julius." Don't we all, baby. Don't we all.

Well, that is all for now. I will be back soon for….something. Until then, here is some more Dulce Maria:

Greatest. DVD. Ever.

Chachi Out.

I Guarantee This: There Are No Wookies At The End Of This Trilogy!

Okay it is a fine, fine Sunday afternoon and even with all the alcohol I consumed last night….no hangover. Something is really wrong with me and the amount I can consume. The shit aint healthy, I tells you. So it about time to FINALLY finish up the 600th Post Extravaganza Omnibus and I left one question hanging so I will get to that one first. So everyone sit back, eyes forward and watch the road because it is time to bring back the bus for a few more stops!

Passion of Chachi Omnibus: People's Choice Part III!

Question #1: At What Point Do Girls Go From “Little Angel” To Fucking Bitch That Uses Men’s Feelings As Their Little Play Things?!

Alright, Joey Joe Joe I got to your question. First off I have to say that this is a rather loaded question because there is honestly no simple answer to this one. It is one I have actually been asked about three times on Blogger and I have either reworded the question or just ranted about certain ASPECTS of the way women address men’s feelings. However, I think I want to tackle this one head on now.

Okay, the first thing to understand about women is that just like all creatures of habit (Which are ALL CREATURES, except Sasquatch. For Sasquatch the rules are different) they are not complex. That is a myth created by women to explain their illogical thought processes and actions. I look at women like the Run-and-Shoot offense in the 80’s and early 90’s. When you looked at the playbook there were about 135 or so plays…but they were all the same play with minor route adjustments. This first time you saw the receivers run around in mass confusion there was blown coverage and open spots on the field that resulted in big numbers. When you saw the plays over and over, it was obvious that if you played a zone and shifted YOUR defensive tactics that the Run-and-Shoot became ineffective against an athletic and smart defense that knew how to read formations and shifts. Now in college that works because a great system with good enough (Not great) players can confuse any team. However, once those same players or that same system got to the NFL either they had to adapt to the game or get defeated by it. Most did the latter.

Now let’s address the parallel. When it comes to the male/female dynamic most men are unfamiliar with the tactics of women and usually either get defeated or learn a new way to win. That is how a woman who THOUGHT she was smart in high school or college ended up getting knocked up by some dude that was a sweet-talker but couldn’t tell his ass from a bottle of scotch. That man figured out a tactic to defeat the unorthodox actions of women. Some men are lovers & leavers, some men will kick your ass or treat you like shit. It is a mechanism to handle your actions, whether logical or illogical. Now women will say they are adaptable all they want but the simple truth is that women, like cats, freak out when something changes no matter how small. Now I can’t say whether it is learned at home, school or in social environments but girls eventually learn that their gullyhole is their only logical source of power. You can’t stick your fist in a woman’s college degree (Genitalia! Okay Zach, I like that song now), you know? Since the vag is just like any other form of collateral the illusion of a man being able to get it from them is a tool that they usually use to its fullest. You ever wonder why most women are bad at video games? They don’t know how to adjust to a glitch in the Matrix.

This all lies back to a post I had a long time about how it is not okay for a man to say no because we do not have the vaginas. When it comes to feelings women are taught or it is assumed that all men think with their wangs. Wangs and vaginas are like peanut butter and jelly: they go together in a stick and gooey mess that usually needs something white and milky to lubricate. Eeeeewwww! Now since that is their main attack strategy (Lead men with sex) there is a big problem if that doesn’t work. Women don’t have a contingency plan. They hate GW Bush so much but they never have an exit strategy either. Well, I won’t say women DON’T have a back-up plan as much as they never have a formulated plan on how to use that bitch. I can say from experience that when as a man I didn’t let a woman make me do something I didn’t want to or knew that she was using her sexuality (Not necessarily sex all the time) to influence me to make a choice I was met with the same reaction every time:

Bewilderment, mortification and emotional breakdowns

Or as I like to call it the “9-Man Goal line Blitz” technique. I say nine men because she hasn’t gone ALL in because she thinks maybe she didn’t get her point across the first time that “If you do what I am asking you may get sex from me” but at the same time she needs some sort of defense if you STILL reject the notion that you can’t be controlled by her sexuality at that moment. If you continue to reject her sexuality as a weapon…may God or whatever deity you prey to help you because that is when she becomes “One-Winged Bitch Angel”:

Music and everything. You have to understand one thing Triple J; you are supposed to be the same as all men at all time. Or at least the same as all the men that the woman in question has dealt with. If isn’t about how she responds to the stimuli for a woman. It is about how YOU respond to her. If you don’t respond to the stimuli that she puts out either:

1. The way she expects you to respond.
2. The way OTHERS have responded in that situation.

Then you are outside of her norm and much like a feline she will either lash out or cry as a defense mechanism (Because most men FREAK OUT when women cry. I just learned to yet “I need an adult! And run like hell, boy!) because at that point emotional (ILLOGICAL) discord takes over. You see, women claim to be “emotional” beings but it ends up being an “illogical” reaction because if you are using your sexuality as a means to an end and you didn’t get your preferred ending. How is being emotional about that situation healthy or even fair to yourself? You are emotionally broken up or furious because someone didn’t want to be used or feel the same way about you that you felt about them. I’m sorry but that is life. Becoming a bitch because someone didn’t do what you want them to even though you pulled out your shikai (Yes, sex is bankai in this case comes later) is no better than when a man gets upset at you for not giving him the digits when he buys you drinks. If you don’t see the parallel, you are a fuckwit.

So let’s bring all of this together because I kind of went in four directions. It isn’t about WHEN women become vindictive bitches that will do whatever they need to ahead. All I can say is….it happens before the age of 22. It is about WHY. Now that can vary but the big reason they play with your emotions is because they can. Quite simply, you let them and that is the answer to your question. As soon as women realize they CAN play with your emotions, just like a man that realizes he can get away with cheating on a girlfriend because she doesn’t do anything about it, they WILL play with your emotions. Trust me, I have been there and I can say about four or five of my best friends have been there as well. Just like I said about men not being smart but they know how to exploit women for sex. Women may not be smart either but they know how to take advantage of men to get what they want. If they CAN’T take advantage of that man to get what they want whether it be attention or sex, and they KNOW they won’t succumb to their advances, you are of non-service to them. There is an illogical emotional factor of wondering whether they are desired which is understandable. We all want to be admired and in some cases desired but if that is your sole reason of being (Which for attention whores it is. You know who you are) and you have nothing else to give you happiness or comfort aside from being wanted then you are really kind of empty inside. Which is why I say women are succubus. I so need to turn these blogs into a textbook and become a teacher.

That was quite the long trip but we have another stop on this Omnibus! In a little reversal, I ask a question of myself. It’s like the mirror version of Chachi, Star Trek style!

Question #2: Am I Really That Bad Of A Person?

Hmm, that is a very good question. You know when the person asking the question is YOUR MOM (No shit, she asked me this when we went to lunch the other day) that you may just have a problem. However, I can honestly say that I don’t believe I am an asshole. I don’t go around hitting women (Even though there is a reason to go upside ANYONE’S head….just never a woman) or pissing on minors so I know for a fact I am not a bad person. However, I can see how people could think I am a dick. Case in point, let me go back to an old blog from June of 2006. I was upset after hanging with a certain someone the day before and as usual we had an argument. During that argument, she decided to “tell me about myself” and said that I was:

Mean (No, bitch just couldn’t take a joke)
Rude (Can be, depends on if you get my humor)
Immature (Hmm. I see making the same mistake repeatedly and calling your fuckup a “learning experience” as immature. Not watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force)
Egotistical (I am the most self-depreciating person on the damn planet. Although that is also a sign of megalomania….)
Nerdy (Yeah….more of a geek than a nerd, though)
Possessive (This one is novel. I think the reason I am the way I am now is the fact I WASN’T possessive but more on that later)
Not Funny (About 200 readers of this blog say otherwise. Although 97% haven’t MET me so that number is deceiving)
Petty (No, I am not petty. I am a lot of things but not petty)
Out of touch with my emotions (Hmm. Well, I could see how one could say that because I clam up rather than hurt feelings or create a conflict when I care for someone. Not a good trait, got over it but it is why I don’t date very often. That and being about as cuddly as a coked out Gary Busey)
Uncompromising (AND HOW, MOTHERFUCKER! I do not back down if you are being a dumb bitch. Never will, either. I expect no less from my lady on my end as well)

This was also part of the rant where this specific person called me anti-social. One think I didn’t say in the post is that I asked her if she asked what anti-social meant and she said someone that wasn’t social. So I ask “If I am so anti-social, how did we become friends? I struck up conversation with you, right?” She then backtracked from her definition but did not backtrack from her stance which is a standard tactic when people are wrong but that is life. Let us recap about what “anti-social” means:

1. Shunning the society of others; not sociable.
2. Hostile to or disruptive of the established social order; marked by or engaging in behavior that violates accepted mores: gangs engaging in vandalism and other antisocial behavior.
3. Antagonistic toward or disrespectful of others; rude.

Now the phrase “shunning society” is not the same as “disliking society.” I really don’t like bros or dumb bitches or niggas. That doesn’t mean I SHUN society because I have bro friends and female friends. Not all are dumb but they do dumb things and so do I. Those that know me will tell you that I am the first to talk to someone who is being quiet for feeling shunned because I was not always the outgoing, popular guy the peeps know as Chachi today. I am one of the more outgoing people wherever I go whether it be NDK or a party full of people I don’t know. It I was anti-social, wouldn’t I not want to be there or just start stabbing motherfuckers in the kneecaps? Exactly because shunning of the stupid is different than shunning all of society.

Hostile or disruptive? Now that is all about perspective. I can understand how certain people can see me as stand-offish or hostile because I believe strongly in nothing, I just have simple, logical views (except for bears, because them bastards are dangerous). If you are going to argue about religion with me, I can see your side but I couldn't (for the most part) give a fuck about it if you are trying to convince me of its truth. I make it a point to understand and acknowledge both sides of an argument (no matter how wrong the other party is or even I am) but at the end of the day, if one side is not willing to understand my point (ESPECIALLY if I am right) I will become hostile to a point because it would be like talking to a puppy about the tuck rule. Not only do they not know, they refuse to understand. I may not agree, but I will always listen and understand the stance of the other party. So why even make the fucking attempt to discuss with someone that has their own set ideas and belief sets and REFUSES to acknowledge yours no matter how correct? That can be seen as being hostile because I don't compromise on things that I am right on. That shit ain't gonna happen. Now if I am wrong I will admit it and if it is a discussion based on belief I will attempt to come to a shared agreement. I'm not going to say I'm wrong when I am right, and it seems that is what people want me to do. Fuck that, I'm hostile then.

Antagonistic and rude. Ahhhh, rude. I will come back to that fucker. As for being antagonistic, there is nothing better than a spirited debate IMHO. Not an ARGUMENT, a discussion about something with two viewpoints that are debated between two knowledgeable people is fun and insightful. I will admit that I do start debates, but not to argue. Case in point, I have been told by some women I have dated (or was attempting to) that I started arguments for no reason. Well, a discussion about politics isn't 'starting an argument' in my eyes, it's a discussion about politics. Now if SHE sees it that way, well not much I can do about that. The last thing I want to do is start an argument with a women because a good percentage (I will go with 25-35%) of them:

1. Don't know HOW to debate, they just know how to argue. (There is a difference. A debate is backed by logic and is a dynamic. An argument is just irrational bickering. I don't do well in those)
2. Don't understand what the discussion or debate is about. (Which I am guilty of. I have gotten into arguments with Zach that I am in over my head in and I will just say 'Yeah, dude we are out of my element.' Know your battles and concede when you are over your head. There is nothing wrong with not knowing about a subject in a discussion, but there is something wrong with arguing about a subject while knowing nothing.)
3. Will do anything just to WIN. (Arguing via bullshit will only get you so far. If you don't know it, you don't know it. Using circular reasoning, slippery slopes and just plain WTF tactics (crying, screaming, and changing the subject to an argument that isn't pertinent to the discussion) isn't debating, it's being fucking stupid. Have a stance and back it, right or wrong.

Anyway, back to my point. I like to discuss topics because I like women who are quick on their feet. Not ones that love to argue because arguing accomplishes nothing. Now back to this rude thing. You know what, I know the internet is vast and bad news travels fast. Anyone out there who has ever called me rude has usually been put in a situation where they didn't get my humor or they had to be told something that they didn't want to hear. You see, I don't have the thickest skin (I still have feelings and yes, even the Chachi has been hurt and *gasp* heartbroken) but I know what the fuck my faults are and will admit them. Can I be abrasive? Depending on the situation definitely. A spaz? It's my middle name, sometimes I freak out when I can't get through to people (You will remain nameless but…I will continue to try to help). A tad Buddha-esqe? Well, let's just say I partake in a few festive food items...En masse. An egotist with megalomaniacal tendencies? I have four monikers and refer to myself in the third person, you tell me. With all that being said, I know my faults, but I know I have good points. I believe that my honesty and humor is confused with being rude.

When it is all said and done, I don’t believe I am a bad person. The big thing with the blog (and it kind of worries me) is that there are a lot of jokes that are inside that I try to make sure everyone gets. A lot of times, my humor goes over (Or under when I get low brow) people’s heads and they cannot tell if I am seriously being mean to them or not. Case in point, I don’t want people to think that because I said rape or domestic abuse can be funny in context of well timed humor that I advocate both acts. They are reprehensible and anyone that knows me knows my history with that and how I feel about the people that have perpetrated it. Yet, I sometimes feel that people don’t “get” the humor. That really begins to wear on me after a while but at the same time I don’t want to get rid of the humor that makes me….well….me.

Another thing over the last six months or so is that people think that when I say something to them that it is a personal attack. If I comment about something you have done in humor or even in anger I am not judging you. I am commenting on your ACTIONS. I honestly believe that you can separate the action from the person, so if you are a woman that has made some (OR MULTIPLE!) bad choices, it doesn’t make you a bad person. If you do the same thing over again and expect the same caring response it makes you a dipshit….but not a bad person. Same for me. What I say may be offensive and occasionally tasteless but I am not a bad person. You know what I am? I'M AN A-SS-HO-LE!

Love that song.

Well, this bus has stopped for tonight! You go ahead and get your pajamas and get your favorite book and I will be up to read you a bedtime story when I finish my pipe. I will be back up sometime this week before the Countdown on Friday with a blog about….something. Until then, stay up peeps!

Chachi Out!

Resident Evil Got A Trilogy, Why Not Me?

Passion Of Chachi Omnibus: Keepin It Real Edition!

Okay, here are a couple of questions I have asked myself and let slide for the most part because I don’t care. However, these were asked of me prior and instead of saying I don’t give a fuck (Which I really feel) I am actually going to answer the questions like I give a rats ass. So everybody hop on the bus to freedom!

Question #1: What Is With Women Kissing Women?

Okay, let’s rewind back to my college days when I was in A.W.A.R.E. (The acronym escapes me, it will come back though). It was the women’s organization at UCCS and of course was all women….and me. Yeah, it was about as hilarious as it sounds when you say it out loud. Now in that organization were about five or so lesbians and you know what? They were cool. We hung out, talked sports and about how much women were bitches (Wow…I am a total lesbian! Bull dyke). One drunken night in a bar on Nevada after a meeting/panel discussion we all talked about a small trend at the time about women kissing women that “claimed” weren’t lesbians. They went OFF about that shit. I remember I stated “So, it is like a White kid that acts WAY too Black, Blacker than any Black person you know….but can go back to being White to get fucking job?” Ladies and gentlemen, I have figured out the comparison and it is women that kiss women that aren’t gay = Whites that act “Black.” In other words:

Faux lesbians = Wiggers

Yeah, I went there. Now I know I am in the minority when I say that the influx of women thinking that kissing women but aren’t gay is fucking stupid. Hell, I may be the only guy out there that feels that way but I am happy on this island because it does nothing but show the lack of respect of actual lesbians and just shows you to be a drunken whore. Oh, I am wrong? Honestly think about it. I have known females that were beaten up, disowned by their family, ostracized by friends and even sexually assaulted for being WHO THEY ARE. Yet your skanky ass can get some Long Island Iced Teas in you and kiss another drunken bitch in the name of “sexual individuality” or pop culture? Fuck you, asshole. If you are a lesbian then by all means be who you are but don’t attribute some shitty ass song, too many drinks or mistake thinking you are being provocative or sexually liberating with being a drunken, disrespectful whore. I may not be looking at it the way you are but I am looking at it from the eyes of someone that actually RESPECTS homosexuality rather than sees it as something to get attention. Do you think Matthew Sheppard wanted attention? Oh, it’s not the same parallel you say? If I went out and decided to kiss up on a dude in a bar and got confronted by inbred rednecks I couldn’t respond “Oh, I am totally not gay. False alarm!” When you are gay, you are gay 24/7, not long enough to get free drinks or be the attention whore for about 10 minutes or so. It is weird how when straight women kiss women they are just “experimenting with their sexuality” but don’t want to be seen as “gay” but rather bi-sexual. That is a slope that is slippery for me but let me try to address this.

I make a lot of comments about how I would sex up Zac Efron, Johnny Depp, Terrance Howard and of course Bi. I don’t necessarily want to give it or take it in the backfield like Shawne Merriman but I acknowledge that they are attractive men. Now I honestly believe that a lot about SEXUAL ATTRACTION is choice. It is how I explain pedophiles because no one is BORN sexually attracted to little boys and little girls. If you are then may whoever you pray to help you because that shit is gross. Back to that last statement, I wouldn’t consider myself “bi-sexual” because I don’t actually think of them in a sexual manner. Acknowledging beauty in the same sex is one thing, actually engaging in a physical act with the same sex is a whole ‘nother hill of garbanzos. Now I automatically feel about bisexuals the exact way I feel about mulattos….err….half-breeds….err….mixed people. Just do you. If you are attracted to both sexes then…be you. However, logically that would create eternal conflict and unhappiness like a Muslim Jew but what do I know? I’m sober so shit aint looking right.

Let’s bring this back full circle. I honestly view women that kiss other women when they aren’t lesbians as desperate, disrespectful and drunken attention whores that are playing off of the “taboo” when in reality they are belittling the difficulty and strife of actually BEING a lesbian. Just like the whore “metro sexual” fad did to being gay. I’m sure when gay men were being called “faggot” and “queer” that they WISHED they could say “Oh, I’m just metro. I love titties!” and make it be true. They couldn’t and didn’t because they know who they are and don’t do it for social acceptance and free drinks (Although…I have gotten a few free drinks at Club Q when it was open. I’m a hottie!) as much as it is their life and who they are. As we all know, women want all the power and none of the responsibility so that point is moot. It’s a lonely path being the only person willing to lay down the law to people.

This mass transit mobile is saving the environment and going nationwide, baby! Let’s stop at the next question!

Question #2: What Is With All The Baby Killing Jokes? Are You Being Ironic Or Are You Pro-Choice?

Well, that is a very interesting question unnamed female that asked it! Seriously, don’t sign as “Anonymous” unless you are dealing with Scientologists. Fucking cocks. Anyway, the fast answer to that is “Yes” I am very Pro-Choice. I honestly believe that if you are able to go through with an abortion then knock yourself out. Your body, your decision to put a Roto Rooter in there. I mean you already have had a wang in there so it isn’t the strangest thing you have put in your gullyhole. The fact that people are trying to tie a moral aspect to abortion is humorous to me because Christians can’t even decide when life ENDS so how can they decide when the shit begins? Logically and numerically, life starts at the point the baby pops out of a vag-ing-ah. Therefore, up until that point it is just Play-Doh until it is popped out in a shape and form of a baby that we all know and despise. It has no rights and as we all know, dogs have more rights that fetuses (Shouldn’t the plural of fetus be feti?) and that is why Michael Vick is in jail and abortion doctors aren’t. Makes sense, right?

Well that is all for now. I will get to Joey’s question on Sunday. A review of Hellboy 2 at some point this weekend. Until then, stay up peeps.

Chachi Out.

Who Am I Kidding...."CHU-BURA" DEBUTS!!

It is Friday which means two things. It is PARTY TIME for one and it is time for the Friday staple for two!

Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!

We get started with a premier from Mexico’s hottest export ever!

20. RBD - Empezar Desde Cero (New Entry)

RBD is back! This video is about a month and a half old but I really don’t care. It is poppy goodness and Anahi is looking GOOD in this bad boy! It is nice to hear songs that aren’t all ballady because I am not a fan of those recently. It’s summertime, baby! Welcome back!
19. UVERworld – Just Break The Limit! (Last Week #16)
It has been a tough stretch since “Zero No Kotae” failed to take the top spot in early 2007. They haven’t made it past number three and this marks their second straight video to not make the Top Five. Could the honeymoon with The World be over?
18. Kelun – CHU-BURA (New Entry)

YES! IT IS ABOUT DAMN TIME! Kelun has FINALLY released a video for “CHU-BURA” and it is totally worth the wait! Much like Aqua Timez “Alones” it is a simple video which brings out the song. We could have our first Naruto vs. Bleach battle as both have an opening theme on the Countdown for the first time I believe ever. Let the fight begin!
17. T.I. – No Matter What (Last Week #17)
The King of the South moves up three spots this week as he makes his triumphant return to the Countdown. He has been in an UVERworld-like slump, going 0-for-2 with his last videos after having his first three hit the number one spot. Can he take his crown back from John Legend?
16. Usher feat. Young Jeezy – Love In This Club (Last Week #14, Three Weeks at #1)
Usher falls another two spots this week as the Year of Usher continues. I wonder where the new Jeezy.Kanye video is at? I am really waiting for that video…for some reason.
15. Yui – Summer Song (Last Week #18)
Speaking of slumps, ever since spring of 2007 Yui has been blocked from the top spot as well. She has had FOUR videos at the runner-up spot but she hopes to break that streak with this video. I am really liking the acoustic version of “Laugh Away.” Check it out!
14. Aqua Timez - Niji (Last Week #12)
Aqua Timez falls two more spots this week and with nothing new in sight it looks like their run is over.
13. Seamo feat Ayuse Kozue - Honey (Last Week #15)

Seamo and Ayuse slowly make their way up the Countdown as they inch up to number thirteen. After nearly being barred, Seamo is doing a good job of making moves. Slowly but surely, he may have a hit on his hands.
12. Kelun – SIXTEEN GIRL (Last Week #10)
SEE NUMBER 18! CHU-MOTHERFUCKING-BURA!
11. Toshinobu Kobuta feat. Misia - Flying Easy Loving Crazy (Last Week #8, Two Weeks at #1)
For the first time since the spring. TK and Misia are outside of the Top 10. It has been an awesome run and they are almost at the longest running video on the Countdown this year mark. Pretty good work.
10. Ikimono-Gakari - Bluebird (Last Week #13)

HELLS YES! The opening theme for Naruto has cracked the Top 10! Can Ikimono-Gakari continue the success that Nobodyknows+ started last year and go all the way to the top? Also, I am really looking forward to an acoustic version of this song.
9. Alicia Keys – Teenage Love Affair (Last Week #5)
Did you see Alicia in a fight for survival against those jeans at the BET Music Awards last month? MY GOD that was hawt! Man, that is one sexy woman right there.
8. Wonder Girls – So Hot (Last Week #11)

Speaking of sexy women…the Wonder Girls aren’t women. They are young ladies and I feel so damn wrong having them on here. Dammit, that song is catchy as hell! I know about 40% of the words which means I am listening WAY TOO MUCH.
7. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Hot Limit (Last Week #9)
Speaking of listening to something way too much, HAMC moves up another two spots this week! Can I just say that more TM Revolution songs need to be redone? Seriously, the man should be like James Brown with that shit.
6. BACK-ON – Sands of Time (Last Week #7)
BACK-ON’s momentum seems to have slowed down as they move up one spot to number six this week. They are up very high for their first time out and that is saying a lot.
5. YA-KYIM – Super Looper (Last Week #2, Three Weeks at #1)

After holding on to the top spot for almost a month, the sexy ladies of YA-KYIM fall another three spots but hold on to the Top Five. I am in need of something new from them, as they make me very happy.
4. Usher – Moving Mountains (Last Week #6)
Usher is once again in the Top Five! After the dominance of “Love In The Club” it is usually hard to follow that kind of run up (See: Namie Amuro and Maroon 5). However, this video is looking like it will break that trend. We are down to the Top Three!
3. Chris Brown - Forever (Last Week #3)
Chris Brown holds steady this week! Has his momentum stalled or is he just taking a small break? He has had several start and stop movements on the Countdown so this isn’t out of the norm, but it could be a sign….
2. Game feat Keisha Cole – Pain (Last Week #4)

The West Coast is back! Game and Keisha Cole are representing for California on the Countdown and they are posted up at the runner up spot! Now Game has been here before twice (With “One Blood” and “Let’s Ride”) but both times failed to conquer the top spot. Can he finally break his streak? To do so he will have to knock off the reigning Queen!
1. Paramore – That’s What You Get (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)

Paramore spends their second week at Number One as the biggest video in the land! It took them three videos to get here and they are not going to let go that easy! I got some live performances of them and this band is quite the kickass. If they come to Colorado I am SO THERE! Congratulations, guys!

Well, that is all for this week! Tune in next Friday to see if Paramore can make it three weeks in a row! Or will Game and Keisha Cole take the top spot? Can Chris Brown finally dance his way to number one? Tune in seven days from now to find out!

Tonight is Hellboy 2 so if you are down then let me know. If not, you suck. Until Sunday, stay up peeps.

Chachi Out!

I Wanna Dance With Somebody! With Somebody Who Loves Meeeeeee!

AMERICA’S BEST DANCE CREW IS ON!! LET’S GET STARTED!

First Crew In The Bottom Three: Supreme Soul! I so called that!

I told you they would be in the bottom three. I figure now they will bring the heat or this could be the biggest upset since Live In Color. But let’s get started!

Crew #1: Boogie Bots (Lil’ Wayne ‘s “Lollipop”)

I wonder if the order is how they finished the week before. It would make sense but I dunno. Okay, I have to agree about their critique of the performance. It was good but after their last two performances this was kind of a drop off. Not only that, they were off on the regular speed spots for some reason. The fast parts they all looked in unison but when it was normal speed they were oddly out of sync. Weird, I think they got jittery because they were the first crew. Good stuff but depending on the other performances they could be risking bottom three.

Second Crew In The Bottom Three: Fanny Pak! WOW! I honestly did not see that.

Crew #2: Super Cr3w (Sanigold’s “Creator”)

Wow, that was frenetic! It looked like Fanny Pak with the organized confusion look of the performance. Unsure if that was on purpose or accident but it looked cool. I have to agree with Shane, I was NOT blown away by this performance. After their first four, this seemed to be a letdown but I think we will see that from everyone except Fanny Pak and A.S.I.I.D. because rapid fire is their element. Super Cr3w is deliberate and tries to tell a story and that aint going to work for this kind of challenge.

Third Crew In The Bottom Three: Phresh Select! I SO TOLD YOU! I AM AWESOME!

Crew #3: A.S.I.I.D. (Kardinal Official’s “Dangerous”)

Very, very interesting! It had some ballet in there! I stand corrected, you guys were awesome! I really liked this performance and it was the best so far. Crew to beat so far.

Crew #4: So Real Cru (Chris Brown’s “With You”)

They like Chris Breezy on this show. THEY DID SOME RAVE MOVES! HELLS YEAH! I kind of disagree with the judges because their fast part was a little bit TOO intricate so it seemed too slow but I really thought it hit well. Now I am no Fred Astaire but I think theirs is the performance to beat tonight. I liked it better than A.S.I.I.D.’s because they MURDERED the intro. The second half was just above average but the beginning was KILLED.

Bottom Two Crews: Phresh Select & Supreme Soul! I SO CALLED THAT SHIT! I SHOULD BE IN VEGAS!

Crew #5: Fanny Pak (Mariah Carey’s “Touch My Body”)

Wow….this was the first performance of theirs I actually can say I liked. They told a story and actually kept my attention throughout the whole performance. Not going to lie, usually I am multitasking when they are performing because I am bored or annoyed. Not this time, they right now are the top crew.

So we are Phresh Select and Supreme Soul. I so called that. Well, let’s get to it!

First Crew In The Bottom Two: Phresh Select (Dream’s “Shawty Is A 10)

Heh, the nerd motif was rather cool. It was an OKAY performance but it didn’t blow me away. Something tells me that they are going home this week.

Second Crew In The Bottom Two: Supreme Soul (Shop Boyz “Party Like A Rock Star)

THIS WAS THE PERFORMANCE I HAVE BEEN WAITING ON! They totally killed this shit! I told ya’ll if they were in the bottom two they were going to kill the elimination performance and I am dead on. I think from this point out, they may actually end up being the favorites like I felt they were in the beginning. They totally dominated this task and I feel that they are SLIGHTLY ahead of Fanny Pak for the best performance because they incorporated so much into the routine. But we will have to see.

COMMERCIALS!

Now we are back and let’s get to it!

The Eliminated Crew This Week: Phresh Select!

Man, I knew that was coming. We are down to the final six and Phresh Select probably lucked out from having Distortion X being robbed in the first episode by the judges and Fanny Pak. Supreme Soul has survived another week and I honestly believe they will be a team to beat now.

Now, it is time for the second ABDC Championship Rankings!

1. Super Cr3w: They were the best performing crew all but two weeks (Arguably last week and definitely this week) but this performance was just “meh.” They hold the top spot for their body of work but I think due to their past performances and they didn’t really have a BAD performance this week that they will keep their votes. However, they may fall to three or four in the votes if people go in mass exodus to this next crew.
2. Fanny Pak: Yes, they KILLED it this week. It was a task that I knew they would shine in and boy did they do it. Second best performance of the night in my honest opinion and without a doubt the most exciting. However, they are better off than BreakSk8 because they haven’t really begun to look like they are taking from anyone after the controversy of the first episode.
3. So Real Cru: Now these last four are interchangeable because they all have had good performances with nothing earth shattering (Minus Boogie Bots last week) but nothing bad. So Real Cru is the sleeper because as long as they don’t end up going head to head with anyone they are shielded from the fact that they lack excitement but make up for it with choreography and awesome detail.
4. ASIID: This week’s performance was kind of….above average but it didn’t really stand out against Fanny Pak’s awesomeness or Supreme Soul just BRINGING IT. However, same thing. As long as they don’t go head to head against Supreme Soul in the bottom two, they could sneak into the finals.
5. Boogie Bots: Long fall, and in some ways rightfully so. Last year, after the Jabawookiez had that kick ass performance in week three they KILLED, AND I MEAN KILLED week four. Boogie Bots had the most interesting performance this season (Maybe in the shows history) and followed it up with “meh.” This may land them in the bottom two, but definitely the bottom three.
6. Supreme Soul: Now since all four of these crews are about even in the fans eyes and there is little margin for error and this week they may have made up for it. However, the question is will people vote for them over the crews above them and I believe that they won’t….for now.

So, let’s predict how the vote will end for next weeks show!

1. Fanny Pak
2. Super Cr3w
3. A.S.I.I.D.
4. So Real Cru
5. Boogie Bots
6. Supreme Soul

Like I said, the crews underneath Super Cr3w and Fanny Pak are all in the same boat so don’t be shocked to see the votes spread out evenly and there be a shocker in the bottom. However, I think that Supreme Soul will eliminate the Boogie Bots and then be in the bottom two AGAIN and eliminate So Real Cru. You heard it here first.

See you all next Thursday!