Black Friday? Is 50 Cent Coming Out With ANOTHER New Album?

What is up, people! It is a butt-ass-cold Friday (Wow…I just stole a line from Jen that she said like a year ago. First time for everything!) and I am ready to get out there and avoid the crowds. It is BLACK FRIDAY and most of you are out shopping but for those of you smart ones that aren’t, you know what time it is. It’s time for…

CHACHI’S TOP 20 VIDEO COUNTDOWN!

We start off with a debut from arguably the biggest new artist of 2007!

20. Abingdon Boys School – Blade Chord (New Entry)

HELL YES! Two weeks after a new album and the ABS already has a new video! Now the video looks to be completely in slow motion. If you read my review of “Transformers” you know how I feel about that. With that being said this is one of the rawkingest songs of 2007 and it is almost over. That and it is ABS! They’s back, bitches!
19. Mihimaru GT – Gazen Yeah! (Last Week #16, Two weeks at #1)
For every move upward, someone must fall. One of the biggest videos of the fall looks to be falling out of the Countdown. It has been a good last half of 2007 for Mihimaru GT, stay tuned because they have a few Chachi MVA nods!
18. Paramore – CrushCrushCrush (Last Week #20)
Paramore is one of two artists with two videos in the Top 20 as their newest moves up two big spots. Another group that has had a strong last half of 2007 and should lead into a pretty good 2008. Hayley is hot. That is all.
17. 2Backka + Bennie K – Home (Last Week #15)
After peaking at number 15 for two weeks, 2Backka falls two spots. I remember where I saw these guys! “Disco Sempai!” Aw, that song brings back memories. Now, for one of the highest debuts of the year…
16. Alicia Keys – Like You’ll Never See Me Again (New Entry)

Like you didn’t know. My love for Alicia Keys is complete. This video has drama, direction and most importantly Alicia’s fine self. With her latest video near (or on…) the top of the Countdown it will be interesting to see if she can keep up the dominance. Oh, and she is FI-YI-YINE!
15. L`Arc~en~Ciel – My Heart Draws A Dream (Last Week #13)
The Arc falls two more spots this week. Their new album came out and it was what I expected. I was hoping for awesomeness that only Bryan Adams could give but it was stil up to Foreigner status of rocking. Which is “teh awesome”.
14. Mihimaru GT – I SHOULD BE SO LUCKY (Last Week #17)
More Hiroko! Mihimaru GT is looking to get their second Top 10 video of 2007 in only 4 months! Not too shabby if I say so myself. Not only that, I am hoping a new album comes from them soon.
13. Sowelu, EXILE & DOBERMAN INC – 24 Karat (Last Week #11, One week at #1)

EXILE Christmas song?! Can this year GET ANY BETTER?! That answer is yes but you get what I mean.
12. One Republic feat. Timbaland – Too Late (Last Week #14)
So I just got their new album and I haven’t listened to it yet. I will later on today as I run errands after the crowd dies down. Don’t look now, but they are slowly making their way into the Top 10. Don’t forget, Yuna Ito did the same thing earlier this year after about a two month trek.
11. Nelly Furtado – Do It (Last Week #9)
Just outside of the Top 10 and we have a staple with Nelly Furtado. With her FOURTH Top 3 video (third of 2007) I can maybe say that she has a chance to beat out Yui and John Legend for Artist of the Year. Outside chance, but still. Onto the Top 10!
10. Yui – Love & Truth (Last Week #5, Plunge of the Week)
In a shocker, Yui falls a huge five spots this week to number 10! She has had a huge year video-wise and has arguably the best album of 2007. Not only that, she is hawt as hell. With all that said, she is 0 for 3 with her last three videos in terms of tying UVERworld and John Legend with three number one videos and she has slowed down to end the year. It’s not a race, it’s a marathon.
9. May J. – Do Tha, Do Tha (Last Week #12)

You know what? I’m not going to say anything. Just watch her and see why she is in the Top 10 for the second time of 2007. HAWT!
8. Asian Kung-Fu Generation – After Dark (Last Week #10)

So “The Fu” moves up another two spots this week. And Asian Kung Fu Generation continue the success of anime themes on the Countdown? Aqua Timez (Bleach), Abingdon Boys School (Darker Than Black), Yui (Bleach) and nobodyknows+ (Naruto: Shippuuden) all hit number one in 2007 while others like Hearts Grow made it very high as well. Can they continue the tradition?
7. Daughtry – Over You (Last Week #6)
After a pretty good climb, Daughtry takes a step back this week by falling a spot to number seven. Oh, Jordin Sparks new album came out this week! And….no one cares. Rightfully so, she wasn’t all that. Prepare for my rampage when Blake’s album comes out.
6. Yuna Ito – Urban Mermaid (Last Week #8)
One step from the Top 5 and who do we have? The sexy-fine Yuna Ito! I am kind of waiting from an album from you woman! Give me what I need! I miss you and “Heart” was AWESOME!! Did I mention that she is hawt? If I didn’t….she is. We are in the top fourth!
5. TI feat. AlfaMega & Busta Rhymes - Hurt (Last Week #7)

And T.I. has his third Top Five video of 2007! Quietly, T.I. has had a really good year. Well, minus the GUN THING I mean. Either way, this song gets me amped the hell up. A lot more that “Big Things Poppin” did I tell you what. Can T.I. take back his crown of “King of the Countdown”?
4. Kanye West feat. T-Pain - GoodLife (Last Week #3)
If John Legend isn’t the King of the Countdown, then Kanye is. A huge year for him even though this video didn’t make it to the top. In his defense, lugging T-Pain this high actually weights his grade like honors classes so actually he has been at number one for three weeks. We are down to three!
3. Paramore – Misery Business (Last Week #2)

After making it to the runner up spot, Hayley and the gang fall a spot to number three. They currently have another video moving up but getting this high is hard to do. And taking the top spot is REALLY hard, just ask Game. Three top three videos and no number ones. That aint very gangsta.
2. NaNa – Movin’ On (Last Week #4)

YAAAAAY! NaNa makes an attempt to be the Queen of the Countdown after moving up two more spots. She already has a new video out. Some of you may know, the orgasm I had shook the Rockies like an earthquake. Yes, she is that awesome and I love her. Even with a new video, this one is moving on up. Well, that means that the…
1.Alicia Keys – No One (Last Week #1, Five Weeks at #1)

…THE CHAMP IS STILL HERE!! For five weeks strong, Alicia Keys is still holding down the top spot! Even with a new video debuting high, this video still rules all. Can she take out Shakira? Can she even take out UGK or….T.I.?! We will have to see, but until then she is still on top!
That is all for now, peeps! Tune in next Friday to see if Alicia Keys can make it SIX WEEKS on top! Or will NaNa move into the top spot? Can Paramore use the strength of two videos on the Countdown and take the crown? Or will T.I. prove the King really IS BACK and take his throne? See you next week!

Well, if it doesn’t snow too bad (looks okay so far) I will head out to see “Hitman” in the theater this evening. If it gets crappy I will just do it tomorrow. The last half of the nominees for the Chachi Music & Video Awards will be up this weekend! Stay up, peeps!

Chachi Out.

CSP Is Only #3?! Well Denver....I Guess It Is ON!

Check THIS OUT:

"In 2004, Men's Health magazine named Denver the drunkest city in America.
In the upcoming December issue of Men's Health, Denver is again named the No. 1 drunkest city - and to put a capper on it, we're the "most dangerously drunk city."

Colorado Springs comes in as the third drunkest city. Aurora is the 19th drunkest city.

"Today, Colorado once again leads the nation in its attitude towards alcohol - but now, the mandate seems to be 'drink till you drop.'" writes Men's Health."

YES! WE FRICKING DID IT! I want to thank Zach and Nicole first off. We did it, baby! David, you are our Tom Brady and I am the Randy Moss. You da man. I want to give a thumbs up to Rick for singlehandedly putting Denver at #1. I bow to your prowess.

Watch your ass, Denver! I gots a new job and a newfound love of tequila so we are coming after you! I am throwing down the gauntlet! Colorado Springs will beat Denver in 2008 for the drunkest city. I will do my part....WILL YOU?

Now excuse me, I needs me some Blue Moon:

Funniest AMV EVER.

Lets drink to that, CSP!

And The Nominees Are...Part One

What is up, people?! It has been a long time since I have had a blog post and…bite me I have been slacking. I know and I am sorry. PLEASE FORGIVE ME! With that being said, it is time to announce something I have been pushing off for a while now. The Chachi Music Awards! To make things easier, I am splitting the categories into two parts: Music and Videos. The awards will be handed out on the same night but I will be announcing them separately to give each its own time in the sun. The 2nd Annual Chachi Music & Video Awards will be given on 12/2/2007 (December 2nd)! The cutoff for nomination is 11/30/2007 so the awards could change due to release dates but I don’t see that happening unless Bi come s out with a new album in the next two weeks and if anyone knew that it would be me. So first let me announce….

The 2nd Annual Chachi Video & Music Awards Nominees!!

MUSIC AWARDS

First we have the:

Pop Album of the Year

Yui – Can’t Buy My Love
Avril Lavigne – Best Damn Thing
Kumi Koda – Black Cherry
M-Flo – Cosmicolor
Daughtry - Daughtry
Maroon 5- It Won’t Be Soon Long Before
Namie Amuro – Play
Bennie K – The World

As you can see, the Chachi Top 20 Video Countdown has a big play in nominations, but not really. It explains the Kumi Koda and Avril Lavigne nods. I almost forgot how much I loved “The World” by Bennie K because it came out so early in the year, same for Daughtry. Even still, it looks like Yui’s award to lose. As for M-Flo, he has had four Top 20 Videos in 2007, tied for most with Yui and Kanye West. Maroon 5 is running off of one video, albeit a kickass video. As for Namie Amuro…I love her and I loved “Play” even though it took a damn year and a half to come out from the release of her first single. This is a very tough category to pick a winner for, I will need some assistance from the peeps!

Next is the:

Rock Album of the Year

Paramore – Riot!
Abingdon Boys School – Abingdon Boys School
Linkin Park – Minutes To Midnight
L`Arc~en~Ciel - KISS
Maximum the Hormone – Maximum the Hormone
Foo Fighters - Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace
Aqua Timez - Dareka no Chijou E
UVERworld – BUGRIGHT

This was a tougie for me because rock in my opinion is beginning to make the hip-hop style resurrection with new kinds of rock and the influx of J-Rock in my playlist. Because of that, five of the nominees come from the land of the rising sun, lead by ABS (Abingdon Boys School) and their meteoric rise to rock greatness. Maximum the Hormone set the tone for the second season of Death Note while UVERworld was a given. Paramore gets a nod after a late rush of two kickass videos and Haylee being hot. Foo Fighters have always been a favorite of mine and Linkin Park has (arguably) the best commercial rock album since Green Day’s “American Idiot”. As for The Arc, this nod is well deserved. Both The Arc and Aqua Timez had late entries but their body of work during the year is what pushed them over some other acts. This is a tough category, too.

After last year’s lackluster line-up, it looks like the rap game is back:

Rap/Hip Hop Album of the Year

UGK – Underground Kingz
nobodyknows+ - vulgarhythm
Timbaland – Shock Therapy
T.I. – T.I. vs. T.I.P.
Talib Kweli - Eardrum
Common – Finding Forever
KREVA - Yoroshiku Onegai Shimasu
Kanye West – Graduation

Now Timbaland comes as a bit of a shock, but after producing Top 3 videos for Nelly Furtado (three times) and J-Tim this is earned. UGK had a surprisingly good and under-promoted album, much like Talib Kweli and Common. The opposite must be said for T.I. and Kanye who delivered solid albums but a little below my expectations. Nobodyknows+ released a Beastie Boys type album that really got my ears perked. The sleeper could be KREVA, who’s “Strong Style” may be the song of the year and has the illest beat I have ever heard. As of now, Kanye has had the biggest year and the biggest album but who knows!

Next is the genre in the biggest downturn:

R&B Album of the Year

Exile – Evolution
Alicia Keys – As I Am
Robin Thicke – Evolution of Robin Thicke (Re-release)
Ne-Yo – Because of You
J. Holiday – Back of My Lac
Amy Winehouse – Back To Black
Musiq Soulchild – Luvanmusiq
Joss Stone – Introducing Joss Stone

Due to a real lack of competition, Alicia Keys may just walk away with this award hands down. Aside from Ne-Yo, no one really had an R&B impact. Oh, and Beyonce can go to hell and T-Pain, too. They will NEVER be nominated here. With that being said, a sleeper is really J. Holiday. “Bed” annoyed the hell out of me at first but I grew to like it and he is showing to be more than the Bed-guy. Unlike Sean Kingston.

This may be the most hotly contested category of the year:

J-Pop Album of the Year

Namie Amuro – Play
Abingdon Boys School – Abingdon Boys School
Yui – Can’t Buy My Love
L`Arc~en~Ciel - KISS
Bennie K – The World
Foxxi MisQ – Gloss
Aqua Timez - Dareka no Chijou E
Orange Range – Range/Orange

HOLY FRICKING FRICK! Between these eight albums you have FIFTEEN Top 10 Videos and SIX number one videos! This will be the battle of all battles, I tell you what! From Foxxi MisQ’s two videos in the Top 3 to Yui’s four videos in the top two spots in 2007, this will be interesting. Add in Aqua Timez’s run late this year and ABS rocking out and you already have an all-star cast. Add in the veterans of J-Pop/J-Rock L`Arc~en~Ciel and Orange Range and you have a very, VERY tough Chachi to win!

Now for the big one:

Album of the Year (Overall)

Common – Finding Forever
Alicia Keys- As I Am
Namie Amuro - Play
Abingdon Boys School – Abingdon Boys School
Yui – Cant Buy My Love
T.I. - T.I. vs. T.I.P.
Kanye West - Graduation
M-Flo – CosmiCOLOR

Whoa. Now THIS is an all-star lineup. With no Nelly Furtado or John Legend to contend with, the field is wide open. M-Flo had a bunch of big name videos/singles (Summer Time Love being the 5th biggest song of 2006) while we all know the year that Yui had. Kanye quietly had maybe the biggest year with four Top 10 Videos and the biggest album sales-wise of the year. T.I. actually had the SECOND biggest year sales-wise and three Top 10 videos. Alicia Keys and ABS are late comers but both have a number one video to their credit, as does Namie Amuro. That leaves Common, who not only has two Top 10 videos in his own right but he ALSO has one of the most critically acclaimed albums of 2007. I am one of those critics, BTW. Man, this is going to be TOUGH.

Now we are at the Artist portion of the nominees.

Now for the mismatch of the year:

Pop Artist of the Year

Namie Amuro
Daughtry
Yuna Ito
Mihimaru GT
Yui
Bennie K
Nelly Furtado
Foxxi MisQ

Yeah, Yui may just run away with this award. No one in pop could match her run in 2007. It shocked me, too. Nelly Furtado and Mihimaru GT made late runs and Foxxi MisQ had a stellar summer but no one could compete with Yui.

Now this is an interesting category:

New Artist of the Year

Abingdon Boys School
Gym Class Heroes
Hearts Grow
Daughtry
May J
Foxxi MisQ
Soulja Boy
NaNa

You see, Abingdon Boys School isn’t a NEW artist because TM Revolution has been kicking your eardrums into your brains for about a decade? Could be wrong. Daughtry had a pretty good year and Foxxi MisQ has all but disappeared since dominating the summer. May J had a big first half and is having a bigger second half but nothing at all in the middle. NaNa JUST CAME OUT and Soulja Boy….ew. That leaves Hearts Grow who I am patiently waiting on a new video from and Gym Class Heroes. Do you smell upset?

Hip hop ain’t dead! It just took a couple shots! Okay….a lot of shots:

Rap/Hip Hop Artist of the Year

T.I.
Young Jeezy
Common
Lil’ Wayne
KREVA
Game
nobodyknows+
UGK
Kanye West

Without an album, Lil’ Wayne found his way in here?! Geez, I guess I am on the bandwagon too. This is pretty much a two horse race: Kanye and T.I. because no one else had really big years. KREVA is a great dark horse because his videos and songs are top dollar but he hasn’t had the appeal of ‘Ye or Tip.

Another down category…

R&B Artist/Group of the Year

Chris Brown
Exile
Omarion
Musiq Soulchild
Alicia Keys
A.I.
Robin Thicke
John Legend

Yeah, this is between Alicia Keys and John Legend. John Legend had arguably the biggest year of all artists with two number one videos and one video that almost took the crown. Alicia has the hottest videos out right now and is the hottest woman out to boot. Omarion surprisingly hasn’t pissed me off and could make a run, too. Everyone else is in by default sadly. R&B may just be dead.

Speaking of down years…

Rock Artist/Group of the Year

Maximum The Hormone
Linkin Park
UVERworld
Paramore
Abingdon Boys School
One Day Grace
Aqua Timez
Foo Fighters

While R&B has like three heavy hitters, rock has WAY too much parity. Aside from the “alt J-Rock” bands the only real rock out band on here would be Maximum The Hormone. ABS rocks but they aren’t “rock” while the same can be said for One Day Grace although they do kick ass. This category is too wide open to pick one but as of right now Paramore and ABS are the hot groups in the game right now.

Now to a tight category:

J-Pop Artist of the Year

Yui
M-Flo
Namie Amuro
Bennie K
Foxxi MisQ
Aqua Timez
Abingdon Boys School
Yuna Ito
Mihimaru GT

Each artist brings in a very good case, but it looks like Yui’s to lose. She almost has as many number one videos as the rest of the nominees combined so it is hard to pick someone that could sneak past her. If anyone could, it may be ABS or actually Mihimaru GT. They are coming on strong and “Punkish” wasn’t allowed in solely because the video was pulled from YouTube. Even still, looks like another Yui category to lose.

Now….for the REAL BIG ONE:

Artist of the Year (Overall)

Yui
Kanye West
T.I.
Nelly Furtado
John Legend
UGK
Namie Amuro
Abingdon Boys School

Let’s add this up. Every nominee has at LEAST one number one video this year. They combine for an astounding TWENTY-EIGHT (28) weeks at the top. That means for more than half the year, one of these artists was at number one in 2007 each week. Even though Yui had four Top 10 videos…so did Kanye. T.I. had four and a huge album. UGK had the longest reighing number one of 2007 while John Legend has spent the most combined weeks at the top AND was Artist of the Year in 2006. Nelly, Namie and ABS all had great years, too. Now THIS is a category that I will definitely need the peeps help on!

So the most nomination tallies:

Abingdon Boys School: 7
Yui & Namie Amuro: 6
Kanye West, T.I. & Aqua Timez: 4
M-Flo, Daughtry & Alicia Keys: 3

So for the Music part of the Awards, Abingdon Boys School leads all nominees with SEVEN NODS! That is fricking insane! I will have the second half (Videos) up either later tonight or tomorrow night and we will see if Abingdon Boys School can continue their dominance over this year’s Chachi Music & Video Awards! I will return!

Chachi Out.

What Was Old Is Now New...

What’s up, fools! It is Friday and I am PUMPED UP FOR NEXT WEEK! Those that know me know why. But until I start a new era on Monday, it is time for the Friday staple…

Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!!

We are nearing December which means the End of the Year Countdown Par-tay is coming! So for the first time in about…seven months or so I bring back the installment of…

Bubbling Under!

For those that don’t remember, these are videos that are almost on the Countdown but not quite. First off is a new video from one of the biggest artists on the Countdown right now…

Alicia Keyes – Like You’ll Never See Me Again

YES! OH GOD YES! This woman is so damn talented and so damn fine that I don’t have anything else to say about her. Guaranteed you see this video on here next week.

Flo Rida feat. T-Pain – Low

Dammit…I hate T-Pain. But this song is fiy-yah. The video is standard crappy rap but it is still better than that Nelly video. I have watched this video non-stop for about two days and sadly I love it. Except for T-Pain and the hook. Eh, what can you do. Onto the countdown!

We start this week with a debut!

20. Paramore – CrushCrushCrush (New Entry)

Damn…she is kind of hot. I mean not up to May J or Yuna Ito levels of DAAAAAMN but Hayley is on the sexy end. Just like Nolan, I am digging the punk rock chic look a lot. Not only that, I like this song and video to boot! That’s why it is the only debut this week.
19. Yui - Jam (Last Week #16)
So…I needs some more Yui before the end of 2007. I mean seriously, I am going through some new Yui withdrawal right now. I mean this video was good and “Love & Truth” is one of the hottest videos out right now but…I’m selfish. MORE YUI NOW!
18. Aqua Timez - Alones (Last Week #14, Four weeks at #1)
So it looks like the end of the road for Aqua Timez. Their first time out (officially) and they burned up the charts with this video. What is even better is that this song was linked to Bleach at its crappiest! Now THAT is staying power.
17. Mihimaru GT – I SHOULD BE SO LUCKY (Last Week #20)
Hiroko moves her fine self up three spots this week. Anyone know the name of the show this song is from so I can give it a whirl? With the cancellation of “Scrubs” I need something to fill the void. With “Hana Kimi” over as well this is going to be a rough 2008.
16. Mihimaru GT – Gazen Yeah! (Last Week #12, Two weeks at #1)
More Hiroko is good for me! She is like vitamin C, I need my daily allotment or else I get cranky.
15. 2Backka + Bennie K – Home (Last Week #15)

So 2Backka (yes, I have made the Chewbacca jokes) and Bennie K stay put at number 15 this week. So…when can I get some more Yuki showing off her belly? I mean seriously, how long must I hold out?!
14. One Republic feat. Timbaland – Too Late (Last Week #17)
After a slow two weeks, One Republic finally makes a big jump, moving up three spots this week. You know, this video has finally grown on me. I really, REALLY love the song but the video was “meh” but after a few views I can say I like it. Good stuff. Still better than The Fray.
13. L`Arc~en~Ciel – My Heart Draws A Dream (Last Week #10)
So Hyde and the boys fall out of the Top 10 and look to have hit their max. Not a bad year for The Arc; they reached number one this summer and had one of the longest running videos in Top 20 history. Not bad for a band with the track record that they have.
12. May J. – Do Tha, Do Tha (Last Week #18, Biggest Mover)

Gaaaaaaaaaaawd, I don’t think I can wait until December 5th. I need my May J. album NOW!!!
11. Sowelu, EXILE & DOBERMAN INC – 24 Karat (Last Week #8, One week at #1)
NEW SOWELU! NEW SOWELU! NEW SOWELU! That is all. Nothing else is relevant after this.
10. Asian Kung-Fu Generation – After Dark (Last Week #13)
So after a year hiatus, Asian Kung Fu Generation is taking the Countdown by storm! They are already in the Top 10 and are looking for more! Dare I say a new album from them soon? Dude….2008 may not suck balls after all!
9. Nelly Furtado – Do It (Last Week #6)
Well, it looks like Nelly Furtado is not going to make another run at the top in 2007. It’s a shame, she has several other great songs on her album that deserve videos and I am rather disappointed. But I can’t stay mad at her…she is just too damn fine!
8. Yuna Ito – Urban Mermaid (Last Week #11)

Besides, who needs Nelly when I have Yuna? Yuna Ito moves into the Top 10 for the second time in 2007 as she seeks her second number one video this year. “I’m Here” had a slow rise to the top, staying on the Countdown for 25 weeks (pretty much the first half of the year!) but this video is making moves fast. Like I wish a certain lady would with me. OH, that’s what I like!
7. TI feat. AlfaMega & Busta Rhymes - Hurt (Last Week #9)
It looks like TI is hurting the Top 10 as he looks to take over! It is nice to see that he will be home for the holidays, albeit he was a MORON for having the weapons in the first place. Eh, you live and learn.
6. Daughtry – Over You (Last Week #7)
Daughtry moves up one spot this week, just short of his second Top 5 of 2007. So in American Idol news, I downloaded the new Blake whateverhislastnameis single and…it isn’t good. But it surprisingly isn’t BAD. Don’t get that twisted, it isn’t GOOD. It’s just exactly what I expected: J-Tim V2. Onto the Top 5!
5. Yui – Love & Truth (Last Week #4)

Yui falls a spot this week and is on the verge of falling out of the Top Five for the first time in over a month! I need some more Yui! I got her live DVD but that isn’t enough. Gimmie gimmie gimmie!
4. NaNa – Movin’ On (Last Week #5)
NaNa moves one step closer to her first ever number one video! I am totally waiting for more stuff from her. Not only can she sing and dance…she is on the hawt end of the spectrum. Here is for some more NaNa! We are down to the same three, but are they in the same order?
3. Kanye West feat. T-Pain - GoodLife (Last Week #2)

No they aren’t. I want to pay my respects to Kanye West this week. His mother passed away and no matter how it happened, losing a parent is a tragedy. Especially a mother from a single parent household. Keep your head up, ‘Ye.
2. Paramore – Misery Business (Last Week #3)

We are at the runner up spot and Paramore has taken it! The band moves up one spot to number two and is one step away from their first number one! With a video debuting this week and holding down the runner up spot on the most important Countdown ever, Paramore is making up for lost time in 2007. The number two video may be new, but the top video remains the same….
1. Alicia Keys – No One (Last Week #1, Four Weeks at #1)

And look who it is! Alicia Keys ties Aqua Timez, nobodyknows+ and John Legend with one full month at number one! One more week and she ties Shakira for the longest running female at number one and after that, all the is left is UGK (seven weeks) and T.I. (eight weeks) to topple! We have a new Queen of the Countdown!

That is all for now! Tune in next week to see if Alicia Keys can make it FIVE weeks at number one! Or will Paramore finally grab the brass ring? Look out for the newcomer NaNa, she is making moves as well! See you next Friday!

Tonight it Dave and Buster’s while Saturday it is BEOWULF!! Review on Sunday and beginning of a new era on Monday! Stay up peeps!

Chachi Out!

Back Again For The First Time....Again

The Deuce is back at The Pack and it is time to RAWK! But before I do that, it is time for the Friday tradition…

Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!!

We start with a debut from the hottest group of the last six months on the Countdown!

20. Mihimaru GT – I SHOULD BE SO LUCKY (New Entry)

YES!!! The more Mihimaru GT on the Countdown the better! Now the video for this song is rather average but the song MORE THAN MAKES UP FOR IT! They join several other artists that have had two videos on the Countdown at once in 2007 but they deserve it. They are also making a play for the Group of the Year Chachi Award!
19. Common feat Lily Allen – Driving Me Wild (Last Week #15, Plunge of the Week)
So Common looks to be on his way out of the Countdown his week. I have only seen his new video once but after a few watches it may make it on here.
18. May J. – Do Tha, Do Tha (Last Week #20)

You know what….just watch and fall in love.
17. One Republic feat. Timbaland – Too Late (Last Week #19)
One Republic moves up two spots this week as they slowly move up the chart. You know, the more I listen the more I like them. Luckily I don’t listen to the radio so I havent gotten sick of it yet.
16. Yui - Jam (Last Week #12)
Well, Yui falls short of her fifth Top 10 video of 2007 as she falls backward a big four spaces this week. Any word on another album? Hell, that would be two in a year and I don’t think my heart could handle that.
15. 2Backka + Bennie K – Home (Last Week #17)

After a few watches I REALLY like this video. Not much to it but the song is great and that is why it moves up two spots this week.
14. Aqua Timez - Alones (Last Week #11, Four weeks at #1)
Aqua Timez falls three spots this week after having arguably the biggest song (if not the biggest video) of 2007. I am TOTALLY ready for a new album from these guys and the sooner the better!
13. Asian Kung-Fu Generation – After Dark (Last Week #16)

Just got the single of this song! Now that I have a real job I can buy the singles again because you know….I kind of have ethics.
12. Mihimaru GT – Gazen Yeah! (Last Week #9, Two weeks at #1)
Their second video on the Countdown and a former number one to boot! You know, Mihimaru GT is having a strong end of year and they are leading into having a bad ass 2008. And Hiroko is hawt. Speaking of hot….
11. Yuna Ito – Urban Mermaid (Last Week #13)
Mmmmmmmm, MMM! Yuna Ito doing this song live in a different outfit each week is hawt. Doing this song in shorts is just….my god. Can she GET ANY HOTTER?!
10. L`Arc~en~Ciel – My Heart Draws A Dream (Last Week #7)
In a shocker, Hyde and Company fall three places this week. With a new video and a Christmas (?!) song out, they are still keeping busy. And is it just me or does “Driver’s High” just force you to speed?
9. TI feat. AlfaMega & Busta Rhymes - Hurt (Last Week #14, Biggest Mover)

Okay, I will admit. This video makes me thug out. As you all know, I am NOT A THUG but this video and song make me get a little crazy. You know, almost all T.I. songs do that to me. Because of that this video gives T.I. his fourth Top 10 video!
8. Sowelu, EXILE & DOBERMAN INC – 24 Karat (Last Week #6, One week at #1)
EXILE HAS A NEW VIDEO! Sowelu on the other hand is teasing me like so many other women have. Story of my life. Either way, this video falls another two spots but holds on the the Top 10 this week. GIVE ME MORE SOWELU!!!
7. Daughtry – Over You (Last Week #10)
Daughtry moves up three big spots in his second entry on the Countdown. I know this video is old but I don’t really watch MTV or VH1 like I should so I really didn’t feel it for a while. Now that I have seen it I really like it. Good stuff.
6. Nelly Furtado – Do It (Last Week #4)

Where is a video for “What I Wanted”?! That song needs a video like I needs me a woman! Nelly, if you are listening PLEASE do a video for that song! PLEASE! I need this! Okay, I’m okay. Onto the Top 5!
5. NaNa – Movin’ On (Last Week #8)
YAAAAAAY! NaNa moves into the Top Five and all I can say is that I watched this video 5 times today. Yes, it is that damn good. Maybe the best dancing in a video all year! Anyone know anything about a follow up single?
4. Yui – Love & Truth (Last Week #2)
After 2 weeks as runner up, Yui falls two spots and out of the Top 3. Because of that she failed to get her third number one video of 2007! It’s a hard trick to do, especially in one calander year. Even still, this video is greatness! We are down to the biggest three videos on the planet…
3. Paramore – Misery Business (Last Week #5)

We start of with a rookie to the Countdown making the most of their first video on the chart! “CrushCrushCrush” has a video for it out now and it is actually very good but I still like this song better. Can Paramore compete with the two artists ahead of them? We will have to see!
2. Kanye West feat. T-Pain - GoodLife (Last Week #3)

Kanye moves up a spot this week as he tries to solidify his bid for Artist of the Year. There is a huge problem by the name of T-Pain attached to this song, though. I love the video but…IT’S T-PAIN! I just can’t have him at number one…can I? Well, it doesn’t matter because the current number one has a stranglehold.
1.Alicia Keys – No One (Last Week #1, Three Weeks at #1)

Alicia Keys holds on YET AGAIN to the number one spot! That makes three weeks at the top, tying her for the longest reigning female of 2007 (with Yui’s “Rolling Star” and Namie Amuro’s “Baby Don’t Cry”) and only behind Shakira’s “Hips Don’t Lie” for the record longest reigning female video (five weeks). Can she take down Shakira? That…is something I need to see before I go. THAT IS HAWT. Congrats, Alicia!

That is all for this week, peeps! Can Alicia make it a week on top? Or will Kanye pull the dead weight that is T-Pain all the way to the mountain top? Or will Paramore follow Mihimaru GT’s lead and take the crown with their first video on the Countdown? Tune in next Friday to find out!

Chachi Out!

Heatwave On The Countdown!!!

It is Friday so you know what time it is! PARTY TIME! Oh, and it is also time for the….

Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!!!

We begin with the hottest debut video….EVER:

20. May J. – Do Tha, Do Tha (New Entry)

Ladies and gentlemen….her hawtness has returned! After more than a 10 month hiatus since “Here We Go” was on the Countdown, May J has finally come back to me! A full year older and a full year sexier. Good god….this video is hot. Miss Ito…you have officially been replaced. I’m sorry baby! May J is back and the beating of my heart is faster than ever!
19. One Republic feat. Timbaland – Too Late (Last Week #20)
One Republic moves up a modest one spot this week. You know, I remember hearing the original of this song a few months ago and saying “is this The Fray trying to sound good?” but I was wrong. This song is a lot better than anything The Fray ever put out.
18. Soulja Boy – Crank That [Soulja Boy] (Last Week #14)
Ugh. I just found out what “Superman that hoe” means and….ugh. That shit is gross!
17. 2Backka + Bennie K – Home (Last Week #18)
2Backka and Bennie K move up one spot this week as Bennie K looks for their 3rd Top 10 video of 2007. I has just been a while is all. They had the first number one video of 2007 you know?
16. Asian Kung-Fu Generation – After Dark (Last Week #19)
Well, Bleach is beginning to FINALLY kick ass again AND Asian Kung Fu Generation is back after over a year of not doing a damn thing. This video and song is quite the way to come back. I get the stares at work when I watch it but I am used to it.
15. Common feat Lily Allen – Driving Me Wild (Last Week #10)
Common falls a big five spots this week and out of the Top 10. It has been a big year for Common but this video failed to crack the Top 5, which is kind of a shocker. Either way, I still likes it.
14. TI feat. AlfaMega & Busta Rhymes - Hurt (Last Week #17)
The King of the South moves up a big three spots this week and is looking to pick up the slack after the lackluster last video (Big Things Poppin). Too bad he may be in jail to receive his Chachi Award…
13. Yuna Ito – Urban Mermaid (Last Week #15)

Miss Yuna moves up two more spaces as the hopes to get her second number one video of 2007. Man…she is fine. If I could get her and May J and Yuna Ito in the same place at the same time I think the orgasam that would occur would be able to destroy the gravitational force of the planet and send Earth straight into the sun. I’m serious, they are fucking HAWT.
12. Yui - Jam (Last Week #11)
Has Yui fell short of her record FIFTH Top 10 video? It looks like as this one falls a spot short this week.
11. Aqua Timez - Alones (Last Week #10, Four weeks at #1)
Aqua Timez is finally out of the Top 10 after a dominating run at the number one spot. Their new video is out and odds are should be on any week now depending on video play. It isnt as rockin, but sometimes you need a mellow song. Sometimes…
10. Daughtry – Over You (Last Week #13)
Daughtry has his second Top Ten video of the year! It took almost six months but he is still a front-runner for the Best New Artist Chachi Award. Let us not forget about Abingdon Boys School, though. Even still, it is good to see Daughtry back in the top half!
9. Mihimaru GT – Gazen Yeah! (Last Week #5, Two weeks at #1)
So…Mihimaru GT may have the greatest new song ever. And I mean EVER. “I Should Be So Lucky” is the most ass-kicking-est pop song since “Funkytown” and I never say that. But this time it is fucking true. My god I get happy thinking about it. Even still, this song was a strong number one a few weeks ago and is still going strong.
8. NaNa – Movin’ On (Last Week #12)

NaNa makes a HUGE move into the Top 10 with her debut video! So once again, people looked at me crazy as I listened to this on the highway while driving home. Which is expected because things that kick ass are usually misunderstood. NaNa kicks the ass like no other. Best dance break of the year, hands down.
7. L`Arc~en~Ciel – My Heart Draws A Dream (Last Week #7)
So The Arc looks to have stopped to rest for a bit as they hold tight at number seven this week. They have a new video (Daybreak’s Bell) which is actually rather kick ass. We will see how kick ass soon…
6. Sowelu, EXILE & DOBERMAN INC – 24 Karat (Last Week #3, One week at #1)
Sowelu and company fall three more spots this week and just out of the Top 5. God…this may be the hottest Countdown ever and we JUST GOT TO THE TOP FIVE!!!
5. Paramore – Misery Business (Last Week #9)

Paramore makes a huge jump into the Top 5 for the first time! Their new video should be out any day now (if not already, I don’t watch MTV2) but until then, Misery Business is giving the competiton the business!
4. Nelly Furtado – Do It (Last Week #2)
Mmmm….hells yeah. So the remix of this song with Missy Elliott is pretty good. Missy isnt the best rapper out there but her verse was good enough to make the remix pretty sweet. It isnt enough as Nelly Furtado falls two spots after two weeks in the runner-up spot. We are now down to three…
3. Kanye West feat. T-Pain - GoodLife (Last Week #6)

So Kanye has lugged that worthless ass T-Pain into the Top 3! That is quite a feat to bring his sorry ass this high. However, I like the song that much so it is pretty worth it. Does Kanye have the biggest Album of the Year? Is he the Artist of the Year? He has a good track record, but the artist at number two may have something to say about both of those claims…
2. Yui – Love & Truth (Last Week #3)

Yui is one step away from her third #1 of 2007! John Legend fell just short with “Stereo” a few weeks ago but Yui is on a roll. Her last video hit number two for two weeks before falling but she already has two number one videos so don’t count her out! Also….I have a thing for ladies that play acoustic guitars. With Yui at number two, that means…
1. Alicia Keys – No One (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)

THE QUEEN IS STILL HERE! Alicia Keys spends her second straight week at number one! I am still waiting for the album (odds are it will be out soon if not already) but until then, this video is more than enough. Great song, great video and Alicia’s sexy self equal a second week at the top!

That is all for this week! Tune in next week for the catfight of my dreams! Can Yui take down Alicia for her third number one video? Or will Alicia hold off the “Queen of the Countdown” and extend her reign? Don’t forget about Kanye West, he would love to live the GoodLife at the top once again! I will see you next week!

Well, odds are it is going to be “American Gangster” either Friday night or Sunday afternoon. Oh, and happy birthday Vel!

Chachi Out!

These Are The Facts Of Life. At Least MY Life...Which Is Hilarity.

So first things first....

HOW ABOUT THEM DAWGS?!?!?!

Georgia FINALLY beat the Flordia Gators 42-30 today and I wont lie: I almost cried. Especially after that first touchdown when half the team celebrated on the field. Florida players called it classless, but this is the same school that ran up the scoreboard against schools for 11 years and pissed on sportsmanship like R. Kelly at a high school Homecoming after party. Turnabout, motherfuckers. Turnabout.

Also, it seems that whenever training ends at a job something really not normal ends up happening. The tradition continues. I learned some things this weekend:

1. Older women STILL love me.
2. Women my age STILL hate me.
3. I hate bowling. Bowling sucks balls and I will wish death on all that love it until the day I fucking die. Take the a ball and the pins and find some orafices to stick them bitches in. Fuck bowling in its gay ass ear.
4. Petron + pickle juice = a suprisingly good shot.
5. When you are up until 4am, sleep is pointless. Just stay up and watch some Boondocks.
6. A woman that loves Blue Moon, Tuaca Bombs and Carbombs (in moderation, of course) is a woman after my own heart.
7. I am a total manwhore. There is a reason why I never insult women for being promiscious because that is my middle name.
8. Creepy old dudes piss me off. If I am ever like that, please let me know so I can slather myself in honey and salmon and end my own life by jumping into a pit of bears.
9. The flip side of that, if you dont like someone you need to say so rather than lead them on. You can be pre-emptive and say that you arent interested even if they dont say anything (which can end in embarassment but you have to do what you have to do) or wait until they say something and THE drop the bomb like the Party Posse. Either way, if you dont say anything and that person still pursues you then it is just as much your fault.
10. Some people REALLY think I am a dick. I used to joke about it but some people really....just dont like me. And I dont know why; I'm a total sweetheart. My mom says I'm a catch!

Well, I'm out.

Imaginaaaaaaaaaaaaation! Imaginay-iy-yay-shon!

What is up, peeps?! I am back and you know what time it is! But first, an announcement. I am moving back the announcement for the nominees for the Chachi Music & Video Awards. With releases from Abingdon Boys School and Alicia Keys coming out, it would not be fair to leave them for next year so as of right now, the announcement of nominees will be on Thanksgiving weekend and the awards will take place on Christmas weekend. That is tenative, and it may (and odds are will) change. Gotta be fair.

Back to the ranch! It is time for the…

Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!

We have a HUGE week, with three debuts for the first time in over a year! Let’s get started!

20. One Republic feat. Timbaland – Too Late (New Entry)

The first of three HUGE debuts this week! When I first heard this song on Timbo’s album earlier this year, I felt it didn’t fit. However, the song kicked ass so I allowed it. Now this song has a video and it is George Michael’s “Freedom” in terms of its simple greatness. The video actually fits the song, which is rare now days. Even still, it is good stuff.
19. Asian Kung-Fu Generation – After Dark (New Entry)

Asian Kung Fu Generation is BACK! After a long ass wait (or so it seems) they return with a song that is pretty damn catchy. Now that I am learning some Japanese, I can almost sing along. Not only that, it is the new theme to Bleach, which can do nothing but increase its awesomeness in my eyes.
18. 2Backka + Bennie K – Home (Last Week #19)
So 2Backka and Bennie K move up two spots this week. You know, Bennie K actually had a video AND an album this year (1001 Nights and The World respectively) and it went almost unnoticed due to Abingdon Boys School and Yui for the most part. For SHAME on my behalf. Even still, I have NO IDEA on who 2Backka is, but if they are down with Yuki and Cico they are good by me.
17. TI feat. AlfaMega & Busta Rhymes - Hurt (New Entry)

Free T.I.! Not really, he made a dumbass move but still. He is working hard on the video front! After a number one video (Top Back Remix) and a Top 10 video (Big Things Poppin) he has had a pretty big year. Combine that with arguably the biggest hip hop album release of 2007 not named “Kanye West” and despite his rough last few weeks he is having a great year.
16. John Legend – Stereo (Last Week #13)
It looks like John’s days in the Top 20 are numbered. After a great run (and a great year) John looks to be the front runner for the Chachi Music Video Awards. I would like to see a new video this year though, kind of to top me off, you know?
15. Yuna Ito – Urban Mermaid (Last Week #17)
Live performance. Long legs. Beautiful voice. Nuff’ said. If there is a more perfect woman than Yuna Ito, I don’t know one. I mean seriously, she looks like she should be in a dream house with an unanatomically correct husband/military man. If you don’t get that, you suck ass.
14. Soulja Boy – Crank That [Soulja Boy] (Last Week #9)
Soulja Boy is cranking his way out of the Top 10 and down the Countdown. It was a quick rise and it looks to be an interesting fall as well. Maybe he should have a BETTER FOLLOW-UP VIDEO!
13. Daughtry – Over You (Last Week #15)

It has been a long time, but Daughtry is making his move back to the Top 10. “It’s Not Over” seems so damn long ago, I swear. Not only that, American Idol seems so long ago that I really don’t remember much about it. Except that I hated Blake with a passion. That is all.
12. NaNa – Movin’ On (Last Week #14)
Yaay! NaNa moves up another two two spots this week as she attempts to crack the Top 10! I need to clip this song so I have a new damn ringtone. I have been talking about that for a fucking month and a half. Damn, I am totally lazy.
11. Yui - Jam (Last Week #12)
Yui is one spot away from her record breaking FIFTH TOP 10 VIDEO (Rolling Star, CHE.R.RY, My Generation and Love & Truth) of 2007! Now that almost makes her a shoo in for the Artist of the Year but you never know. You will have to see in December! On to the Top 10!
10. Common feat Lily Allen – Driving Me Wild (Last Week #7)
Common ALREADY has a new video! And it is TOTALLY STAR STUDDED as it has Alicia Keys (and her sexy self), Kanye West and more! Too bad this video suffers from it.
9. Paramore – Misery Business (Last Week #11)

So Paramore moves into the Top 10 this week! Pretty good for their first time out but what can I say. This song is catchy and this video is like Avril Lavigne meets real punk. I’m just saying. I loved “Girlfriend” as much as the next person but Avril is NOT PUNK. Don’t even try it.
8. Aqua Timez - Alones (Last Week #6, Four weeks at #1)
Aqua Timez barely holds on to the Top 10 this week after a strong month-long run at number one. What is even better is they have a new song and video! Expect to see it soon, its mellow rock greatness.
7. L`Arc~en~Ciel – My Heart Draws A Dream (Last Week #10)

The Arc has their second Top 10 of 2007 and needless to say, the respect isnt needed. If you don’t know about Hyde and the boys then you need to just go to hell because they are “teh rock”. And don’t you forget it.
6. Kanye West feat. T-Pain - GoodLife (Last Week #8)
Kanye West has his fourth Top Ten video of 2007 and he is looking for his second number one video. It has been a big year for Kanye as well, slaying the ugly beast-bot that is 50 Cent. Thanks, Kanye! I owe you one!
5. Mihimaru GT – Gazen Yeah! (Last Week #3, Two weeks at #1)
After half a month at the top, Mihimaru GT falls two more spots but stays in the Top 5. Is there a new album coming from these two soon? I hope so, the Greatest Hits album was awesome.
4. Nelly Furtado – Do It (Last Week #2)
After a stint as the runner up for three weeks, Nelly Furtado falls two spots from the Top 3 this week. You know, she spent a full MONTH at number two with “Maneater” in 2006 so this marks the second time Nelly couldn’t take the top spot. I still loves you, Miss Furtado! We are down to three!
3. Yui – Love & Truth (Last Week #4)

Yui makes her bid for her third number one video of 2007! Aside from John Legend (“Heaven” in January and “PDA (We Just Don’t Care)” in April) no one has multiple number one videos this year. UVERworld had three last year off, can Yui tie that record? We will see!
2. Sowelu, EXILE & DOBERMAN INC – 24 Karat (Last Week #1, One week at #1)

After only one week at number one, the combined greatness of Sowelu, EXILE and DOBERMAN INC could not hold on to the top spot! Even though they gave up the crown…I still loves my Sowelu. With her fine, fine self. But someone finer has captured my heart and the top spot!
1. Alicia Keys – No One (Last Week #5, One Week at #1, Biggest Mover)

After only a month, Alicia Keys has captured the number one position with her first new video off a studio album in almost three years! I missed my Alicia Keys and she is so back and SO FINE! I love this song and this video is great as hell. More than deserving of being the number one video! Congrats, Alicia you are the queen of the Countdown this week!

That is all for this week! Tune in next week to see if the new queen Alicia Keys can make it a second week at number one! Or will Yui get her record tying third number one video of 2007? Or can Sowelu, DOBERMAN INC and EXILE reclaim their 24Karat crown? Tune in next Friday to find out, peeps! Until then, stay up!

Chachi Out!

Now It Is Time For A Chachi PSA....

One big thing. Seriously, if you stay with someone that cheats after you find out, it is your own fault for staying (And I know, I was a dipshit for a minute...18 months or so). If it hurts you so bad your mate is cheating or has cheated, pull a Josh Hartnett and snatch that mother-fucker up in a bear trap or let them fuck around and take it like a champ. Dont bitch to me about how "men suck" because you dont (and DIDNT) have the common sense to leave his trifiling ass. It's not making an excuse for the offender, it is about owning up to your own mistakes and taking yourself to task about how you want your relationship to be. In other words: chalk it up as a loss, charge it to the game and leave that fuck. Dont ask me for sympathy for your lack of initiative and get pissed when I give you the what for. Thats one to fucking grow on. You know what to tell him:

Not being mean, just being real.

GO SEE 30 DAYS OF NIGHT! Vampires get sawed in half and snatched up in bear traps! What is not to like?!

Porn: Keeping Men Sane Since 1974!

What is up, people?! It is me and I am back on the fricking scene! It has been a minute since a mid-week update but I miss you guys. What can I say, I am a big softie. Work has been hectic (already on the phones after like…five days as compared to Comcast where they just got on for the most part) but it is getting along. Just so you know…I am a total dumbass. If things go as planned, I will tell you why later but for now just know that Tina Turner and I both think that Ike really does love us, even though he hit us with a boot.

Speaking of hitting that, I have something dear to my heart that I would like to talk about. Porn. Now before you get all disgusted, hear me out. Now a few of you know that I do partake in a bit of the erotic cinema every now and then. I constantly hear about how porn is bad and ruins relationships and let me tell you something. It can. IF YOU LET IT! I was hearing people discuss how porn was all evil at work (My class is 11 women and me. Just like womens studies all over again) and they were talking about how all men become warped by the videos and have to have sex like they do in the movies. Normally I would get all “shut up and here is why” but rather than argue about porn I just listened. And you know what? Women get porn completely wrong. At least in my view, which is the right view once I get drunk which I SO WILL BE IN A MINUTE.

I listened to them discuss this for about 20 minutes (through lunch for the most part) and all they focused on is how they do things in videos that are “wrong” and that they “wont do”. Now normally a dude would be all “if you did it, they wouldn’t watch!” but I really listened to their statements and realized something. I don’t WANT my woman to do what is in porn for the most part. Now in my few (and by few I mean three) real relationships with women, when sex came up they would ask me if I liked what was in porn and I would always answer “it depends”. They all said that was a cop-out and I wasn’t being honest with them. The truth is for me and I honestly believe a pretty sizable set of men that is the case. Hear me out on this one.

I will be honest with you, peeps. I watch porn. Not like I watch Death Note or Bleach, but I do watch it. You know what? There is nothing wrong with that. I mean, face it. If more women did what Jasmine Byrne did, there would be fewer wars. Or in some cases MORE WARS because she does submission/domination stuff and that shit aint cool. I want to get down with a lady, not get beat the fuck up. That aint sexy. But back to my point. I will never say that porn is completely healthy in massive doses. I mean ask Zach and Ted how much smut I had back in the day and they will tell you. It was a fucking lot, literally. You know what, I’m not ashamed. It was several gigs. Go ahead and judge me if you want, but I was a lot less of an asshole and nowhere near as jaded or bitter. You know why? I was able to rub one out to a new movie whenever I needed. It was like a different girlfriend every night! However, when I had a girlfriend I never watched it. Mainly because I didn’t need the shit when she found it (which happened and was the FUNNIEST ARGUMENT EVER. Get me a Tuaca Bomb and I will tell you about it) but also because I had no need to watch it. I had someone to be with. Although I never made the trip down south in the way I wanted (YAHTZEE!) it was all good.

Back to the grind (ZING!), though. I never watched porn because I wanted my girlfriend to do what was in the video or wanted to do what was in there to her. I mean, anal sex is painful for both parties (Another Tuaca Bomb, another story. I wanna get TOE UP!) and that is a staple of porn. Not only because that’s what has to happen to most womens asses (i.e.: DVDA)but because for some reason, that seems to be what men want. Porn is about money, plain and simple. All things are from religion to frozen pizza. Both are about as healthy and worthless as eachother. Women think that men watch porn because their fantasies arent being fulfilled and some of that is true. However, porn is exactly that: fantasy. It is an escape. The reason I watch it is because sometimes, I don’t WANT to do that to you but I am curious about it. I mean, I have seen a bukakke video but I have never, AND I MEAN NEVER wanted to engage in that. I wouldn’t wish that on my most hated female enemies and there are two that REALLY COME CLOSE that I don’t even wish that on. The fact is that porn isnt bad if watched in moderation. If you are weak enough to let yourself think that you have to watch porn to get it up or that you wife (or husband) has to “work it like a pornstar” in both looks and actions then YES it is bad. If that is happening to you, your concern shouldn’t be porn as much as it should be common sense.
While we are on the subject, there is a misconcetpion about pornstars being stupid whores. Well, first off they get paid (WELL) to fuck dudes while 9 times out of 10 women have done the same thing with the same amount of men and only got a free drink and a lifetime of regret/self-esteem issues out of it. NOW who is the whore? BURN! Secondly, as long as you are comfortable with what you do then there shouldn’t be a problem. While a lot of women in porn may hate it, its just like any job. If you don’t like it, find something else to do. Pornstars are entertainers and dammit, they do a good job of it. I have seen pornstars that don’t entertain (Nikki Benz, I am looking at you) while there are some that are just GRRRRRREAT

(Nautica Thorn…hells yeah) and deserve all the credit for being troopers that they get. Just like wrestlers and football players, they are perfectionists in their craft and I salute you wholeheartedly. You have gotten me through many a tough time and broken hearts. Because of you, I know that not all women are out to hurt me. I know….that I can believe in life after love:

Yes, Cher. Another reason that I like porn so much is that I may be gay. I mean, CHER?! I have issues. Anyway, back on my original point of women being wrong about porn. I understand you r concern and anger. I feel the same way when women say a “bro” is hot with his frayed vintage polo, khaki shorts and fresh out of bed hair. Oh, and his spray-tan of Axe body spray to boot. When you say that pornstars are an unachievable form of beauty…um…have you seen porn? Pornstars have acne and scars, just like you. No one is perfect, sans Yuna Ito:

And if she ever does porn, I will kill EVERYONE. The fact is that pornstars are regular women that just do really….REALLY kinky things on camera for money sometimes. Remember, some women do that shit for FREE. No one MAKES them sit there and get jizzed on. When I see sperm coming…I fucking kill someone because that’s not how I roll. Like I mentioned before, these women are PROFESSIONALS. They know what they are doing and rookies shouldn’t do it. Its how women wear patches and need ice packs for their asses. Men, that goes for you too. If it looks like you need a manual and wet naps, then get a fucking manual and wet naps. Winging shit is how babies are made and break-ups begin. Another Tuaca Bomb, another story.

Porn isn’t (and shouldn’t be) the only way you see sexual contact. If it is, that IS a problem and can put women in a view of being nothing more than an object. I can understand that. However, if a man sees you as a sex object that he can try his fantasies out on...so what? Relationships are give and take. If your man watching massive amounts of porn bothers you because he is beginning to treat you like the movies and wants to stick it in all seven holes rather than they tried and true three (Fine, two. But I get to pick which two! Its called being spontaneous and women love that!) then let him know. If he balks at that, fuck him. Er...I mean don’t fuck him. He should respect that. On the other side, a man watching porn, just like (IMHO) a woman watching porn is actually healthy. Not only can it show you stuff you might like to do, it shows you stuff you may want to NEVER do. If used correctly, porn is a healthy escape and a way to get the fantasies out that you really don’t want you signifigant other to do, but you are curious about.

Lastly, for those of you that say porn ultimatly leads to things like the illegal stuff (I am not going to say because I don’t want any government agency on my ass. COINTELPRO and all). You need to either get off the slippery slope or fall off that bitch into a violent ass reaming. Those that will get into that were going to anyway. Softcore porn isnt fucking marijuana and if if IS like that for you, don’t watch it. I don’t fiend for my next high like Tyrone Biggums.

“I needs me some felching videos, nigga! I’ll suck yo dick!”

How about no? I will watch me some Ashley Blue, thank you very much.

She does a MUCH BETTER job at that than I will, and is as cute as a button! That…gives great mouth love. In closing, women need to get a grip about porn. Hell, getting a grip may make him not WATCH porn if you get my drift. I’m kidding! In all seriousness, porn is a great thing if watched in moderation and understood for what it is for: entertainment and stimulation. If you use that to build your views on women or dictate your sexual wants and habits then you are a fucktard and need to not watch. You are ruining for the rest of us. If you can enjoy porn for what it is for, then grab your joystick and get to work! Don’t take my word if you will enjoy it, check out these pornstars on your local internet!

Lela Starr (A little too skinny, but is a professional. Does great work)

Audrey Bitoni (Oh come on. She is fricking HAWT)

Maria Ozawa (I likes me some Asians. Tell’em, Rick! Yellow rice! God…I need to stop)

Jasmine Byrne (My all-time favorite!)

I try to help the masses. Well, that is all for now. I will be back on Friday for the Countdown but I will try to be up before then. I miss updating for you eleven or twelve readers. Until I return…read the archives. Cant a brotha have some repeats?! Just kidding, stay up ya’ll!

Chachi Out!

Wow....This Must Be What Crack Feels Like

First things first: never....EVER try a grilled cheese corndog sanwhich unless you are ready to feel the pain. And by pain I mean a massive coronary. My god...we need to take this idea back to the drawing board.

Also, "30 Days of Night" is another contender for the Movie of the Year Chachi Award.

I know! I am just as shocked as you! But Josh Hartnett gave a great performance and it was a pretty good redux of the book! Quick rundown:

Vampires getting their shit wrecked on by a trencher (look it up): CHECK
Josh Hartnett looking SUPRISINGLY bishie hawt?: CHECK
Vampire children getting messed up with axes?: CHECK
Bela Lugosi reference (That sadly only I got)?: CHECK
Eskimos?: CHECK. I mean it IS Alaska
Gruesome scenes of blood sucking? CHECK YES! They were sucking plasma like Jasmine Byrne. Look it up. On second thought, don't.
All-around vampire goodness?: CHECK!

Full review at some point this week but as of right now...this is the shocker of the damn year. If I had to choose Vampires or Spartans, I would have to choose vampires. And before you ask "how could vampires survive in Alaska, they hate the cold!" let me tell you why. They are Russian. There you go, that simple.

That is all for now, until I return check out some hilarity:

Yeah, I didnt like Fable all that much either.

The Queens of (J)-Pop!

Well, it is another Friday so you know what time it is!

Chachi's Top 20 Video Countdown!!

We start off with 2007's Kings of the Countdown...

20. UGK feat. Outkast – International Players Anthem (Last Week #17, Seven weeks at #1)
Well, the run is almost over. UGK makes history with the longest running number one video in Countdown history and also ties Yuna Ito’s “I’m Here” with an astounding 20 WEEKS on the Top 20. Now THAT is big pimpin. Here is to some new UGK (or Outkast) soon!
19. 2Backka + Bennie K – Home (New Entry)

Yay! More Bennie K! You know, their album “The World” kind of slipped under the radar but it was very good. Not sure who 2Backka is but they hold their own in this video with the greatness that is Bennie K. Simple video, but the song makes up for it.
18. Abingdon Boys School – Nephilim (Last Week #14)
Okay, the album is out. The wait is over. After listening to it THREE FUCKING TIMES IN A ROW I can honestly say that Kanye and Yui had better prepare to look bad on camera because they are about to lose. THIS BAND KICKS YOUR ASS!
17. Yuna Ito – Urban Mermaid (Last Week #20)
You know, with both Yui AND Yuna Ito on the Countdown I think this may officially be the best October ever. This video is gradually growing on me and the outfit she had on during the live performance? Tres HAWT.
16. UVERworld - Shaka Beach~Laka Laka La~ (Last Week #12)
Well, with the Chachi Music Awards closing in I wonder if “BUGRIGHT” stands up against the competition this year. At the beginning of the year it had no peer but now, there are about five albums looking to knock them down a peg. Can their follow-up bring them back to the top next year?
15. Daughtry – Over You (Last Week #18)
Daughtry moves up three spots this week as he slowly moves up the Countdown. You know what? I forgot that Jordin Sparks even WON American Idol this year. I really kind of didn’t care, either. This season had great stories but was musically underwhelming. Sad, but true. Hell, Daughtry was the best of the bunch (Yes, better than Carrie Underwood because country is not good) and he didn’t even WIN. Cosmic.
14. NaNa – Movin’ On (Last Week #16)

Dance moves a plenty in this one! I have yet to find out anything else about what she has going on but I am a fan. Anyone else know much about her? Eh, it doesn’t matter. This video is great and…yeah I think she is quite teh hawt.
13. John Legend – Stereo (Last Week #10)
John Legend falls out of the Top 10 with his latest video. I hoep he goes on tour soon, seeing as how I missed the last one. Speaking of missing tours, RBD never showed up in Denver last month and needless to say, I am a tad bit pissed off. Eh, not like I can lock Anahi in a box and make her perform for me whenever I want. I can dream.
12. Yui - Jam (Last Week #13)

Speaking of dreams….the roast beef in a Yui and Anahi potato bread sandwich? Now THAT is hawt stuff. Oh, she moves up a spot this week, too.
11. Paramore – Misery Business (Last Week #15, Biggest Mover)
First time out, Paramore is looking at their first Top 10 video! They also look the be up for a few Chachi’s this year to boot. Albeit a slow year in rock, Paramore has performed well.
10. L`Arc~en~Ciel – My Heart Draws A Dream (Last Week #11)
For the second time of 2007, The Arc is in the Top 10! Looks like we have another frontrunner for Artist of the Year and it is well deserved. Hyde & Co have been rocking it all over Japan for years and I have to give them their due. You all should do the same and join the rainbow! Play on words…
9. Soulja Boy – Crank That [Soulja Boy] (Last Week #5)
After making it to the Top 5 last week, Soulja Boy falls a big four spots this week. Mostly because he needs a new dance. Oh, and “Soulja Girl” is not a good video or song. Not a fan.
8. Kanye West feat. T-Pain - GoodLife (Last Week #9)

Kanye and…T-Pain….man, never thought I would say that…move one spot closer to the top spot. With four Top Ten videos this year (including a number one), it looks like Kanye is attempting to lock up the Artist of the Year. Not only that, this video no longer annoys me because I replace T-Pain in my mind. Mind over matter, peeps.
7. Common feat Lily Allen – Driving Me Wild (Last Week #7)
Don’t look now, but Common is quietly having a great year. He is closing in on his second Top 10 video and has one of the best albums of the year with “Finding Forever”. Not only that, he is in “American Gangster” (which comes out payday!) which promises to be an Oscar contender. Not bad, not bad at all.
6. Aqua Timez - Alones (Last Week #4, Four weeks at #1)
So Aqua Timez falls two more spots this week after a month at number one a while back. Not only that, they have lost the opening spot of Bleach! However, I don’t think they could have made a better choice in Asian Kung Fu Generation. They kick just as much ass (Hell, MORE ASS) than Aqua Timez. Oh, and the new Bleach intro ROCKS YOUR FACE art-wise. Just AWESOME. Onto the Top 5!
5. Alicia Keys – No One (Last Week #8)

After two weeks, Alicia Keys is ALREADY in the Top 5. She follows in the steps of Namie Amuro, nobodyknows+ and UGK as she gets here in less than a month. I love this video and I REALLY LOVE THIS SONG. That and I just love me some Alicia Keys. With her sexy, mocha self. Just hawt.
4. Yui – Love & Truth (Last Week #6)
Speaking of hawt! Can it get any hotter in here? Seriously, can it? The answer is no as Yui has her…FOURTH TOP FIVE VIDEO OF 2007. That is just plain awesome! She puts in a lot of work into her music and her videos are always great, which is why she has such a great track record. That and she is as cute as a button. We are down to three…
3. Mihimaru GT – Gazen Yeah! (Last Week #1, Two weeks at #1)

…and we have a minor upset! After only two weeks, the reigning King and Queen of Mihimaru GT fall from the throne! Still havent made this song my damn ringtone, mainly because I am always tired. Waking up to 10am for three weeks will do that to you. I will get to it because this song is still J-pop goodness. We have a new number one video, but who will it be?
2. Nelly Furtado – Do It (Last Week #2)

In a shocker, Nelly Furtado holds tight at number two! After an almost six month gap between her videos, here is to hoping she holds on. Oh, and can I say she was looking quite hawt on the VH1 Hip Hop Honors? Quite nice. Even still, by staying put at #2 it looks like our new number one made a leapfrog…
1.Sowelu, EXILE & DOBERMAN INC – 24 Karat (Last Week #3, One week at #1)

And for the first time ever, Sowelu and EXILE reign supreme over the Countdown! After a two month journey, the hawtness of Sowelu and the awesomeness of EXILE (combined with DOBERMAN INC, of course) finally conquered all as they share the throne this week! Not sure if it leads to a new EXILE album or a new Sowelu album but either way, I will be happy. Oh, and I loves me some Sowelu. Not sure if you knew that. Congrats to the new number one!

That is all for now! Tune in next week to see if Sowelu, EXILE and DOBERMAN INC can hold on to the 24Karat crown for another week! Or can Nelly Furtado finally secure her secon number one video? Or will Yui make it the Triple Crown for 2007? Find out next week! Wow, I just noticed that the Top 5 is full of ladies. Sexy, sexy ladies. Who said I hated women?!

Well, I will try to catch “The Comebacks” tonight or Sunday and let you know how it is. Odds are…not funny. But I havent been to the movies in a while so I think I’m due. Until then, stay up peeps!

Chachi Out!

Ah, My Nemesis. We Meet Again.

What’s up, fools! I am back on the scene and…I got nothing. I am just “teh bored” until I start work on Monday and quite simply I’m an asshole so I don’t have many (well…any) friends. Rightfully so, but I can dream of the days when I have enough friends to actually throw a birthday party.

So I had interesting discussions about the empowerment of women a few days ago with Zach and Griff (and Teq who I hadnt seen in like two months even though he lives a block away. I suck as a friend) and something shocked me. First off, Zach is a chauvenist and Griff is not. That is fucking weird because Griff is a Muslim and you KNOW what the Quran says about women knowing their role and shutting their mouths. Say what you will about them being radical, they knows how to keep the womens in line. Unlike those Christians. No Paris Hilton’s under Allah’s watch. Griff actually thinks the BEST of women and then they act stupid and he repeats the cycle because like me, he attracts the crazies. Zach on the other hand doesn’t respect women at all, and usually they end up being stupid ANYWAY which validates his stance so it is difficult to prove him wrong about the situation.

I say all that because of this: how come women are so misguided now when women of the older generations had A LOT more shit to go through and ended up a lot better than females today? Hell, even my sister (as whacky as she is, and she is a few ninjas short of a clan) isnt pregnant and hasn’t dealt with any “baby daddy drama”. Keep in mind she doesn’t tell me everything but she does crazy on a grand scale so if she did some crazy shit it would be on Keith Olbermann or Papa Bear. And she lived in WASHINGTON DC AND NEW ORLEANS WHERE MURDERS HAPPEN LIKE RAPES BY CADETS! Damn…I am dick. No babies, no murders and no drunken stupors that resulted in bukkake or gangbangs. At least I hope because gangbangs don’t look fun for anyone involved. Even though I like her like Michael likes Janet (when I need to make a comeback single, I will call her) I respect the fact that she hasn’t lost her fucking mind. So how can females who live in COLORADO SPRINGS have more than two kids before 21 and drink themselves stupid while she can survive in HELLHOLES and not have a single kid to her name? Unless she pulled a Sarah Silverman and had abortsias (the plural of abortion. Look it up) she is doing okay and for the most part not being a fucktard. Which to me is the ultimate in empowerment: common sense.

Zach pitched an argument to me about how women find being sexually active in usual male based fantasies (gangbangs, anal, etc) is counter-productive if you are looking to be respected as a female. After a little more though, it became a valid statement because I found it hard to believe that women were down for the 5 on 1. I will say this several times, but it is worth saying again: there is nothing wrong with being sexually active but you cant confuse being ACTIVE with being DEVIANT. This is a confusing factor with me because the females I know give the same excuse, “I know it is not the norm and people will talk bad about me but it is my choice.” Which is true, flat out. It is your choice (Not RIGHT, don’t get that twisted. The Constitution doesn’t cover whoredom) to act however you like. I will never say that promiscuity is wrong because unless you have Bukkake Thursdays or Felching Fridays there is nothing wrong with sex. I heard it was great, but no one will let me find out because I have never had consentual sex with a woman without money involved. The fact is this: no matter how you slice it a bad move is a bad move no matter how you feel about it. Trust me, I lived this shit. Just because you have the OPPORTUNITY to have multiple sexual partners, drink yourself stupid, choose to date the “bad boy” or “thug” that will beat you but you have “so much history”, wear shirts with “Porn Star” or the Playboy bunny logo and know nothing about cars (Listen, I’m no mechanic but at least I KNOW TO CHANGE MY FUCKING OIL BEFORE TWO YEARS!) doesn’t mean you should. In the end, if you do the checks and balances and those ideas seem good then by all means knock yourself out. All that matters is how you feel about you and if you are comfortable with yourself then fuck the world if the can’t adjust. However, don’t get pissy when everyone else doesn’t approve with what you do because it is stupid as fuck. With power comes responsibility, deal with it. Peter Parker learned it, the Roman learned it, Jerry Jones and Carmen Policy learned it (kind of, 8 Super Bowls in 15 years negates the need to learn, I guess) and if you are known as the girl that likes it in all seven holes then you need to learn it as well.

Back on this point of empowerment. Last night I was talkling to a female friend of and I was talking about how I don’t understand how women can repsect themselves if they dance to songs that STILL refer to them as strippers and whore (Check out Plies and T-Pain and tell me I am wrong). She then TOLD me that stupid women (it is funny how women can be selective about who they consider “women” and who that consider “whores”. It is TOTALLY bearing on what the conversation is about but that is another rant) don’t CARE ABOUT A SONG CALLING THEM WHORES (or the artists/men in the club calling them that) dance to those songs and she dances to them because she likes to dance. That doesn’t make sense. Even if the song was bad ass and produced by Lil Jon, if there was a song with the hook “Dance, Nigger Jungle Bunny! Dance, Spear Chucka!”...I really don’t think that would fly with me. Now if a song says “Shake that ass bitch! Like a stripper on a pole! Drop that thing low you freaky ass hoe!” and you do so…you are kind of a dumbass. You can no longer talk about being dis-respected and you can no longer talk about the patriarchial structure of America holding you down because if you support those that hold you down you cannot complain. It’s not a difficult concept: Respect yourself and others witll respect you but don't expect acceptance for what you do. If they don’t after that and you are still cool with what you do and how you are, fuck them. Not LITERALLY.

And that is one to grow on. And now, to help you ladies get your learn on….the Teletubbies! Tinky Winky says get low, bitch!

Yeah, that was pretty fucked up. Well, I will try to be back up next week at some point before Friday with something new. Until then, stay up peeps.

Restecp Each-Ova.