Out of Action

Hey peeps! No real update today, which pisses me off because there is so much to rant about (Hilton's DUI, devil child Suri, Steve Irwin) but I have stuff to do. I will be back tomorrow for a bit so I may try to speak on it then.

Until then, stay up peeps.

Live, Laugh and Love.

Meet You At The Crossroads So You Won't Be Lonleeeeeeeeey...

Morning, peeps. Today I pose to you a hypothetical question. Let's say you were with a woman that was very attractive and every guy wanted her but you were with her. Life was good. Then, out of the blue, she decided to dump you for someone with a better car. Then you meet a nice girl with a good head on her shoulders, but she has a really bad past (I'm talking three-ways and midgets) but has cleaned herself up. You really like her and think you have something special. Then, that bitch that ripped your heart out returns and says she is sorry. And MAN is she looking good. What do you do, peeps? What DO YOU DO?

Anyway, while you ponder that how is everything? Things are cool on my end, just planning for NDK. Seeing as how money is too tight for Vegas right now (I am thinking Halloween. That would KICK ASS) it makes the weekend a lot easier to budget. Anyone who reads this blog that wants to network and head up there as a pack let me know. Last time Zach and I tried to start a gang and it didnt work. I think we may bring a sign-up sheet and have people enlist outside. I may make up badges and everything. It will be teh awesome.

Well, that is all for now. I will be back tomorrow, ya'll. Stay up, peeps.

Live, Laugh and Love.

Okay, Okay. I Have Some Explaining To Do...

Good morning, peeps. I know I said there would be an uber-update this weekend, but it just didnt happen. Nothing really exciting happend. Gamed with Ted, Zach and Nolan on Saturday and pissed around on Sunday until I went to Dave and Buster's in the evening (Oh, and I SO RULE at trivia, BTW). Monday I just relaxed and caught up on some sleep and housework. So all in all, it was a boring ass weekend not worthy of an update. What can I say, I'm lame.

However, in sad news the Steve Irwin passed away after being stabbed by a poisionus stingray barb. Okay, for those of you that dont know I couldnt stand the croc hunter. Something in me says that if you agitate dangerous animals bad shit happens to you. While the death is tragic, it is not unexpected. Lets face it, if he got mauled by a crocodile in let us say a Target then THAT is tragic. And fucking WEIRD. Getting stabbed by a stingray in its natural habitat? Kind of what happens. Even still, I never watched a show (on purpose, anyway) and he will be missed by a lot of people. I have nothing personal against the guy, so may he find more crocies to pester in heaven. Why cant this shit happen to Kevin Federline? Not THERE is someone who deserves to get stabbed with a poisionus barb to the chest. I'm just saying.

Who in the hell is Danity Kane? What the hell does that mean, anyway? Geez, I really am out of the loop. Anyway, here is some new Orange Range for everyone!

Yeah, a good little song there. Better than most, anyway.

Oh, and I happend to catch a bit of the MTV VMA's the other day (I want to say Sunday? Maybe Saturday) and people...Al Gore sucks. Seriously, I am so cereal about this. He is lame and he sucks. Oh, and one more thing: HE FUCKING LOST. The main part people forget about a representative democray is that the people dont mean shit. Its a REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY which means we pick someone to represent us. Until we realize that and vote in drunken pirates to run our country it is gonna be the same old shit. C'mon, America get it together.

Well, I will be back tomorrow hopefully. I am going to knuckle up and get a post up on Saturday or Sunday that is worthy of being called an uber-post. Until then, stay up peeps.

Live, Laugh and Love.

Let The Bears Pay The Bear Tax!

Good morning, peeps! It's Friday all up in this bitch and I am feeling so damn good right now I could kiss my cat. No, not so much. Her breath smells like tuna and fur. Even still, I feel hella good right now.

My birthday is in 16 days, peeps. And I am gonna be honest: I want a fucking gift. Nothing big, maybe 5 dollars off at Chic-Fil-A or something. Or a naming of a state after me. Fuck Maine, Chachi sounds like a kick ass state name. The state flag could be a pirate slaying a bear (Take THAT, California!) or something sweet like that.

So I caught all of 5 minutes of the MTV VMAs and I must say that MTV still sucks. As does Jack Black, that motherfucker was funny in ONE MOVIE (Saving Silverman) and shitty in everything else. God, I hate him and I hate MTV.

Still not enough to blow my high. I aint got much planned for the weekend (except maybe some college football and video games) so I will try to be up on Saturday for a special post. TRY TO BE. Oh, and my review of the Flying Spaghetti Monster book. The first page was awesome, so if the book is even HALF as good as that then I just filled the cup. Until next time, stay up peeps.

Live, Laugh and Love.

OH. MY. GOD.

Good morning peeps! Yesterday while I was dodging work, I found what may be the greatest video ever. I you never saw this show then are LAME. This was the greatest teen show ever. And after years of searching, I have finally found the opening song. I give you....SWAN'S CROSSING!!!!

Oh my god, I think I am gonna cry...

So I dont know what this movie is about, but I want to see it.

Yeah, I will be seeing this movie. Fuck yeah.

Well, I am about to head out. I will be back tomorrow morning, peeps. Sorry so short but you know. Gotta work for the man. The dog can't feed himself. If he could, I would have him get some Chic-Fil-A. Until next time, stay up peeps.

Live, Laugh and Love.

That's The REAL Crime

Good morning, peeps! Man, it sure is fricking early. Well, I guess the big threat to America is off the streets. Why is polygamy a crime any-fucking-way. The real crime is that dude wanted to HAVE 80 wives in the first place. I have maybe fifteen female friends and lets just say that aside from two the rest I can't really understand. AS FRIENDS. As a wife I may just have to choke a bitch. So to have 80 wives means this dude was nuts or that he was LITERALLY knee deep in tang. Wow, I think I can retire. I have officially used 'knee deep in tang' in a sentance and it be relavant. Damn...I think my life is fulfilled. I regret nothing.

I just think we should be going after the real criminals instead of dipshits. Keep in mind, most criminals ARE dipshits so I can understand the effort. But come on. This is all Bush's doing to distract us from the war. I never bought that arguement but now it is beginning to make sense. The admistration is desperate for something to take the heat off. With Jackass Number Two coming out, they may just have it. Why in the fuck arent those asshats in jail? Just to keep them off the streets and from breeding. You know how I feel about killing those that will just be a clot on society. I AM ALL FOR THAT. Man, terrorists really have it wrong. Instead running a plane into a building of innocent people, run it into a theater playing Jackass or Wickerman. And put some snakes on that motherfucker. THAT would rule all.

Oh, and Bush may have just saved his ass. Why in the fuck is gas so high any-damn-way? Katrina was last fucking year and Iraq is our bitch aside from insurgents. Oh, and this has to be said: We have the 'best' military in the world with the 'brightest' troops and we can't bring down some fucking Arabs with RPG's, mines and explosives rigged to 80's sedans? Fucking please. Either our troops are idiots or these dudes have done nothing but watch MacGyver for the last 20 years. Which may be the case, state run TV sucks. I support the EDUCATION of the troops and I support all wars because wars RULE (never call me an America hater). Have you ever played Halo or Half-Life? Fuck yeah! Maybe if we spent less time catching dudes dumb enough to marry the women no one wants and MORE time on creating Scarab Guns, mecha warriors that transform into jets and breakdancing ninjas we would be winning this damn war. And the war on illiteracy as well. A few mechs will learn those kids.

Well, I am out for now. Stay up, peeps.

Live, Laugh and Love.

A Time To Remember

Morning, peeps. Kind of a somber moment, as today marks the one year anniverary of the day Hurricane Katrina hit. My sister lived in New Orleans at the time and it was my place of business at my last job (as well as Mississippi) so I knew a lot of people down there that I never was able to hear from again. It's weird how that hurricane was all but forgotten, so almost show that the lack of response wasnt racially motivated. It wasnt racially motivated it was financially motivated. These were POOR people. Mostly BLACK poor people, but there were other races as well. This country has a thing against helping the poor, even though so few are wealthy. I have yet to understand that one.

So that jerkass in the JonBenet case has no DNA evidence to link him to the crime. WELL DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHH!! It was 10 years ago. I think jizz is biodegradable. I dont know for sure, I am just saying. The fact this was even news shows that Bush is behind all of this. Except now he is TOTALLY fucking reaching. Next big news story: T.O. peed on that girl in the video and not R.Kelly. Mark it down, it is gonna happen.

So I have to redo my whole iPod since I reformmated my computer. That SUCKS. It was damn near full (40GB) and now I have to re-input every song because I didnt save the iTunes playlist. FUCK APPLE. FUCK APPLE IN THEIR STUPID HEADS.

Oh, and how come Cartoon Network cancelled Justice League Unlimited and Teen Titans (which just began to get good) yet has that stupid fucking metal/anime mindrape and Ed, Edd and Eddy on the air? Don't even get me started on Adult Swim and Toonami. I sense a boycott until they show Bleach and Air Gear. Now THAT is fucking anime. And Peach Girl. Fuck you, I loved that show.

Oh, and 'Chain Hang Low' is still fucking stupid. My god how do these people get SIGNED?! Paris Hilton is rich but this Jibbs fucktard is just ass in a big tee-shirt, big chain (that hangs low) and sneakers. It hurts that he has a video in heavy rotation and I cant find a Talib Kweli or Atmosphere video to save my damn life.

Well, I may be back later but until then stay up peeps.

Live, Laugh and Love.

Are You Ready For The Foosball?!

What is up peeps? Sorry about the late ass update. I had to watch FOOTBALL! Yep, I knuckled up and went to the Bronco game today. Normally I avoid the Broncos like the plague, but it was the first time since college I remember being at Mile High (I repeat, REMEMBER being at Mile High not being told a day later) and I have to say it was damn fun. To bad I have to go to work today and fuck up that high. Eh, thems the breaks though.

So Saturday night the discussion came up. You know the discussion. About women and being whores. Now don’t get me wrong there are such things as male whores so it is not ALL women that the word applies to. However, the simple fact is that for the most part only women get upset about being called that. Most men don’t mind being called whores (I am rather indifferent because I don’t go around having sex all willy-nilly. Or at all because the ladies don’t want to give it up and I don’t want to play the game to get it. We have an understanding) even though the generic assumption about the word is negative. However the question remains: what MAKES a whore, anyway? Is it the intent or the actual...action?

Dictionary definition wise whore is someone that has sex for money. Over time that word has been used to describe people of…loose morals and repute. Let’s face it; morals are only as good as the people that follow them. Priests are moral to an extent, and then will assrape young boys. What is the point of following some rules and ignoring others? So for a woman to say that another woman that just has sex for pleasure is a whore is hypocritical and rather fucking stupid. Having sex for money or serviceable goods makes you a whore. So ladies, don’t judge the woman that fucks because she likes it when you fuck to get bills paid from some dipshit who is out for some tang. I hate that shit. I don’t judge the guy that gets laid just to do it because at the end of the day, it is just as much her fault allowing herself to be used for sex as much as it is his fault for using her. If women are REALLY stupid enough to fall for bad pickup lines then deep down that is what they want. There is no other reason for it except for alcohol.

And you know what? Women can’t even blame alcohol anymore. You know why? Although I have forgotten stretches of time…er…days while drunk I still have been able to put two and two together by collecting receipts (which is fucking SAD on my part because that means I was a total lush) or taking the accounts of friends I believe I can trust (or those that I don’t believe have anything against me because friends are just enemies that haven’t tried to kill you) and come to a conclusion of what happened. For the most part I have been able to see what I did was stupid and not do it again. Now for a while I had the rat and the cheese syndrome but sometimes it takes a kick in the ass to figure it out I was being a fucking asstard. The simple fact is that after seeing drunk women in action, alcohol isn’t the problem, it’s the WOMAN that is the problem.

This isn’t letting guys off the hook mind you, this is just putting responsibility where it belongs which is 50/50. Men should not take advantage of a situation of a drunken female because it is a dick thing to do literally and figuratively. However, women should not put themselves in the situation (repeatedly, mind you) to give men the chance TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THEM. I said it before in another rant (take a look at the archives, it’s pretty much all Feburary and May/June was about) it gets to the point when you have to realize that there is shit you don’t do. I used to think that alcohol was a great neutralizer of common sense and rationality but after a few discussions I realized that all it does is make you really over analyze shit. So for all intents and purposes women should become fucking GENIUSES when they drink because they would be able to overanalyze the situation and over blow it into thinking something REALLY bad will happen. Instead they turn into retarded lemmings that will wander headlong into the waiting crotch of a drunk (or sober, in which I hope you fucking DIE) man ready to take advantage of a unsuspecting zebra like a lion in the Serengeti (inside joke to the return readers). Or are they unsuspecting?

After my scientific research (well, my observations while I was sobering the fuck up) I honestly don’t believe that women really lose all concepts of safety and reality when they are drunk, same for men. It is a fucking crutch. Women AND men use alcohol as a crutch for their bad decisions. I can honestly say that all the things I have said and done drunk, even though I may not have said or done them sober, we all things I did and I cannot and will not take them back. I know and accept that I have done some dumb shit and I have to come to grips with it drunk or not.

People use their actions under the influence as out of the ordinary and not indicative of their usual behavior. To that I say bullshit and shenanigans. Man up (or WO-man up) and accept what you did and chalk it up as a loss and charge it to the game. If I had a dollar for all the shit I have had to charge to the game while I was drunk then I would be able to buy a PS3 with some money for…okay not THAT much but I could at least buy an X-Box360. People really need to come to grips with their actions. It may take a while, I am living proof. Realizing and ACCEPTING (not denying and making excuses like most people I have run into) your fuck-up and learning from it is smart living. And knowing is blah blah blah.

Okay, sorry to get all preachy on the peeps. I just had to rant on that because it had been bugging me for about 2 weeks or so. Or maybe 2 years, who knows? Anyway, it’s time for MASTER CHIEF CAPITAN CHACHI GOES HOLLYWOOD! I saw Beerfest on Saturday and needless to say…there were boobies. Several of them. They were great. However, aside from that it left a lot to be desired. Keep in mind this was the weekend following the best movie weekend in a long while (Snakes on a Plane and Accepted) but even still. It was funny, but not hilarious. Keep in mind Super Troopers was hit or miss for the most part so I was expecting the same out of Beerfest. It wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t as funny as other movies of its ilk. It had it’s moments (the plot twist) and its shit (the plot twist) and was worth a watch. Just not worth 7.50 for one shot. Well worth the DVD purchase once it comes out. Until then, only see it during a matinee or if you are drunk off your ass. The Master Chief Capitan gives this movie…

7 out of 10 stars!! (If you like Super Troopers, you will like this movie. If not…wait until Comedy Central has it on the Secret Stash)

With the summer movie season officially over, I am going to need a new segment to fill up space on this bad boy. I am open for suggestions, peeps. Also this weekend I am staying in and trying to get the Chachi’s done. I am actually ahead of the reworked schedule but the sooner it is finished the better. I am trying to get to Vegas (CHACHI GOES TO VEGAS, FOOLS! WHAT!) and to Nan Desu Kan (CHACHI GOES TO NAN DESU KAN, FOOLS! WHAT!) in September/October so shit is gonna be busy with the Ladies Night Competition coming up soon too. So the fall season is gonna be HOT on the Passion of Chachi. New season means new name too. I’m still working on it but there will be HUGE changes to this blog very soon. Stay tuned!

I am out for now, I will try to give updates this week and will be back for something bad ass next Sunday. The Chachi’s will be up soon, I promise.

So today is the one year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina and...New Orleans is still fucked up. Carry on. But seriously that was something that just fell off the face of the Earth, wasn't it? I mean yeesh. Maybe Kanye West was right. About women being golddiggers not George Bush hating poor n*****s. OH WOW! That is funny as hell, and I'M BLACK.

I'm sorry, that was not cool. To make it up for you, new Bennie K. Does that make you feel better peeps? Yeah, I thought it would. Check out Endless Summer.

Too bad its completely animated. I was looking forward to seeing some more Yuki and Cico. Mmmmm....

Stay up peeps. Until I see you again....REBELDE!!! MUY ES BUENO!!

God, that show is awesome. Still need to watch a full episode, though. Anyway, until we meet again.

Live, Laugh and Love.

And George Bush doesn't care about golddiggers.

Get Loose!

YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH BABY! It's Friday all up in this bitch! What is up, peeps?! Not much here, just getting ready for sake and ice cream fools!

Well, not much on the news front has changed. Iran still sucks. I will try to be on tomorrow, but I pose this question: what ever happend to Sisqo? I mean seriously. The guy sucks, but my entertainment is gone. Making fun of that suckass was half my material. The other half? Ethnic jokes. Stay up, peeps. There may be a mid-day update! MAY BE A MID-DAY UPDATE. Dont quote me cause I aint said shit.

Live, Laugh and Love.

From Nine to Eight

Good morning peeps! How goes it? Everything is cool on my end. Not sure what is on tap for tomorrow, with the summer movie season over and all. On Sunday I am going to try to do a mega-post again, recapping the summer movie season seeing as there are no more major releases I can think of coming out until December. I will also try to have the Chachi's up, too. A big post is planned, but as we have seen sometimes life interferes. Usually involves sake and gelato. That is GOOD STUFF, I tells you.

Oh, and cheese and wine KICK ASS. I know you are asking why in the hell am I eating cheese and drinking wine. I hated the fuck out of Sideways. I will tell you why: cheese rules. I am indifferent toward wine (never really had enough of it to form a true opinion on whether I like it or not) so that doesnt matter. Even still, it is about atmosphere. If you are with cool people you can avoid the pretentious douchebag fuckhats that talk about bullshit and the 'legs' of the wine. Shut up, pussies and drink the goddamn wine. Oh, and the next person that says 'That was a good year' will get the bottle shoved up their ass. SIDEWAYS. Yeah, the Duece goes full circle.

Well, I am off to work. I will try to be up tomorrow and rant about people calling Snakes on a Plane a flop. In two words: fuck'em. Stay up peeps.

Oh, and bye bye to Pluto. Now what device are we gonna use to remember the planets?! More tomorrow!

Live, Love and Laugh.

Aw, Man Still No Real Update!

Sorry peeps. Another half assed update today, too. I will try to do something good tomorrow. Oh, and I am gonna knuckle up and do the Chachi's on Sunday. The polls will be up by Tuesday and the Council of Awesomeness will be meeting on Saturday to finalize everything. It will be 'teh awesome' peeps. Teh awesome.

Anyone out there heading to NDK this year? If so drop me a line. Let's network! Anyway, I'm out. Stay up, peeps.

Chachi out. (Thought I would kick it old school)

Just Checking In

Hey peeps. Can't stay long. Just want to say fuck Kevin Federline. Ah, I feel a little better now. I'll be back soon, peeps.

Live, Laugh and Love.

Fox: It's Craptastic!

Morning peeps! How was the weekend? Everything went well for me (albeit was fucking short because half of Sunday is getting ready for Monday and half of Sauturday is recovering fromFriday), until this. Luckily I didnt see this, but everytime K-Fed performs, the terrorists win. Seriously. The fact anyone found this idiot entertaining is stupid. Lucky it is hella early or I would just go ballistic. Even though I didnt SEE the performance, I know it sucked. It's K-Fed and that is all I need to know to stay as far away from it as possible.

So Snakes on a Plane only did 15 million? After thinking it makes a lot of sense. The movie was geared toward a certain audience (mainly Zach, Nolan and myself) and we dont draw 40 million opening weekend gross. Just look at Grandma's Boy. Kicked ass, but I made more than that movie. Even still, it was a great flick but isnt going to be this generations Star Wars. Maybe this generations Big Trouble in Little China. Takes a LOT of snakes to match the kick-assedness of Lo Pan, though.

As for Accepted, I need to just go the full monty. Yesterday I gave it a 9 out of 10. After thinking, that movie deserved a 10 on the acting alone. Add in the humor and the message and I give Accepted the holy grail of movie reviews...A 10 out of 10!!! It earned that rating, check it out. You wont be disappointed.

Well, it's time to go back to the grind. Work 15 hours, another day older, deeper in debt you know the deal. Even still, stay up peeps. And to the school aged readers welcome back to class! These are your Wonder Years. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm funny.

Oh, and Britney ain't looking so good. Being married to a hellspawn will do that to you.

If she left now, she could save herself. I'm just KIDDING. Be cool peeps, I will return.

Live, Laugh and Love.

Greatest. Weekend. EVER!!!

Morning, peeps! Happy cold ass Sunday to you! Man, I love the middle to end of August. The leaves turn brown. The Air gets crisp and the wind gets brisk. Oh and MOTHERFUCKING FOOTBALL!!! Yeah, I do like gridiron battles. You know what else the end of August signals? The sad end of the summer blockbuster movie season. And this year had the good (Pirates 2, X-Men 3, Cars), the average (Superman Returns, Over The Hedge, The Ballad of Ricky Bobby) the bad (Miami Vice) and the fucking SHITTY (Nacho Libre, MI:III). However, usually at the middle or end of August there is a movie released each year that suprises us all. Last year it was Four Brothers and 40 Year Old Virgin. In 2004 it was Without A Paddle. This year, someone took to the theater to see this years sleeper August blockbusters. He is a brave man. His name is Master Chief Captain Chachi. So this Sunday I bring to you....

MASTER CHIEF CAPTAIN CHACHI GOES HOLLYWOOD: END OF SUMMER EDITION!!!

Well, this weekend I spent my Saturday at the movies checking out two new releases: Snakes on a Plane and Accepted. First...

SNAKES ON A PLANE

This movie had craptastic written all over it. There was almost no result except for failure because it sounded so horrible. Yet, all the word of mouth I heard on Friday was that it was fucking awesome. So I decided to pick up a ticket and head over to the theater (since Ted was being a BITCH I had to go by myself, which wasnt all that bad actually) to check it out. First off about this movie: it is fucking hilarious. Sammy J. had the quips and even my doppleganger had some lines. The ways that the passengers died were awesome if not downright nasty (something about getting bitten in the eye or eaten whole by a Boa Constrictor is just...fucking SCARY) and current horror movies should take note. Name the last REAL scary movie and I will guarantee that the death scenes were HALF as scary as they were here.

Oh, and in a real shocker, the characters weren't just snake fodder. Yes the characters are typecast (the rich dumb girl, the snooty British guy, the gay flight attendent, the Thai kickboxer) but the most part they have personality. Also, it was nice to see Flex again after Homeboys In Outer Space and The Michael Jackson Story. He picked himself up very well. Anyway, each character had a chance to shine and there was actual interaction (a lost art in movies now days) and plot development. Which lets face it, no one was expecting seeing as how the PLOT was given away by the title i.e. Titanic.

Also, the snakes KICKED ASS! We all know CGI snakes are scary, but now I have to say that more horror movies need them. Very few things are scarier than a snake (if they EVER find a way to splice bear and snake genes...may Buddha help us ALL because we are FUUUU-UCKED) and this movie proved it. They came from all directions and man could those motherfuckers KILL. I mean damn, snakes are the new zombies. About the same speed but twice as deadly and smarter. Snakes bit everything (yes, a dude got bit in the wang. NOT COOL but funny as hell) and people in the audience did the 'Jump, Scream, Laugh' that you see in the Living Dead series. The snakes made it scary and the death scenes were well done and funny as hell (some were over the top, but its a horror/comedy so its expected. Think 'Shaun of the Dead' with more 'motherfuckers!' in it).

Lastly, there was Samuel L. Jackson. Say what you will about that man being the same character actor in every role. So was John Fucking Wayne and every other actor out there sans Johnny Depp, Sidney Portier and pre-butter blood Marlon Brando. Get over it, no one fucking acts anymore so those of you say he is a one trick pony probably think Tom Cruise deserved an Oscar for The Last Samurai and you need to be mercy killed because if we dont do it now you will fucking reproduce and then I will have to kill YOU AND YOUR KID and I don't want to kill kids. They are the innocent. Anyway with that out of the way Sammy J gave a great performance and actually didnt even carry the movie. He played second fiddle to the snakes and action which is what any good action star does (you listening, Rock and Vin Diesel? It really ISNT rocket science let the action speak for itself, not you. That is why Keanu Reeves is one of the biggest action stars of all time and couldnt act like he was breathing. He knows when to SHUT THE FUCK UP). Quite simply, Samuel L was Samuel L but didn't overshadow the movie like Godzilla and King Kong did by creating an underwhelming star. He was just right.

So you can guess what this movie gets. Lets break it down:

A snake biting a woman on the tit? CHECK
A snake biting a man on his wang? CHECK
A snake biting someone in the ass? CHECK
Wanton violence against a small dog? CHECK
Wanton cursing by Samuel L. Jackson? CHECK
An anaconda or boa without Ice Cube or Jennifer Lopez there to poorly act? CHECK
An asian gangster going pinata on some white dude? CHECK
No Colin Ferrel? CHECK
I'M SICK OF THESE MOTHER FUCKING SNAKES ON THIS MOTHER FUCKING PLANE!! CHECK
A kickass ending theme song a la Shaft and Howard the Duck CHECK

Well, that is enough for me. This movie gets...

TEN MOTHER FUCKING STARS OUT OF TEN MOTHERFUCKING STARS!

Next on the docket was....

ACCEPTED

Well, this weekend was a double header. After Snakes on a Plane, the crew and I went to see Accepted, a college movie that looked like it would be okay and worth the Fandago gift bucks I got for doing that survey about X-Men 3. Long story short the movie is about a student (Bartelbey) that reminds me of myself in high school. Too smart for my own good so didnt try as hard, got above average (but not stellar) grades and was seen as a slacker because I wouldnt conform and become the drone that regurgitates the bullshit I was taugh. Power to the students bitches! Anyway, he creates a fake college to get his parents off his back but others apply and get accepted, hence the title.

Well, this movie was FUNNY AS HELL. It had the Apple dude (who after this and Dodgeball I dont want to murder) and the big guy from Grandma's Boy (who stole the movie because he was fucking HILARIOUS) and they really made a great team. Bartelby reminded me of a young Mahoney from Police Academy, just cool calm and collective. The plot of student creating their own class to stimulate their learning was pretty good and led to a lot of comedy. There was the stuffy dean at Harmon and of course the stuck up preppy prick (who got slacker served so much it was pathetic) which every college movie must have. It was formulaic to a point, though and that was the only problem with the movie.

The best part of the movie was the message. The fact that higher education should be that: education. Education isnt confined in a little box of cliff point knowledge that you just stuff into a graduate in and ship them out to some company to be a drone for. Education is stimulation, not limitation. When you limit someone and all but force them to learn from preset boxes, you arent LEARNING anything. Learning about about finding out about yourself and what you want to be and achieve and basing a scholastic curriculum off of that. Otherwords, you are wasting your educations. Man, I was ahead of my time because that rant at the end is the same rant I had every day in a class that I didnt study for the test in. Anyway, the message of this movie although I am not big on messages is a great one. Knowledge is the freedom to learn.

Everything in order, this movie was funny if you went to college in the 2000's and still know high schoolers that are STILL having that bullshit about how college prepares you for the real world shoved down their throats like geese only wanted for their livers. It has a great message and is funny in getting there, not preachy like The Perfect Score was (but that movie sucked overallanyway so THERE). There was something funny going on at all points and had the most awkward introduction statement ever (You're dating Monica. I think about her when I mast...er...bate. I didnt mean to saaay thaaat...) which I was laughing about STILL this morning. Overall, the movie was great if you are into the high school/early college comedy genre like Can't Hardly Wait. It also has Lewis Black and you can't beat that because his rants were all dead on, especially about college being bullshit for getting a good job because having a degree means JACK SHIT. Give this movie a shot, it's funny and has a great message about acceptance and belonging. You see, sometimes teen movies CAN be Shakespeare. Accepted gets...

9.5 out of 10 stars, which equals to about a 3.97 GPA.

So I was truly excited about getting the new FFVII side story, Dirge of Cerebrus with Vincent as the star. Especially with Gackt in the English commercial. About time J-Rock came over here because Redemption KICKS ASS. Yet, all I have heard is bad about this game. As someone who doesnt have the cash to buy video games that may or may not suck anymore, I need the peeps input. Any one know if this game sucks or not? Let me know.

So Rebelde is still the greatest show on TV. I have been checking out clips here and there and much like Zach and Nolan making up my own dialog. I know very little spanish, so I just wing it. With scenes like this, who needs dialog?

Mmm...man I am going to hell and I likes it. What can I say, this show kicks ass.

Well, I'm gonna hop in the shower and head out for a bit. I will try to be back tomorrow morning. Until, here is some Kumi Koda for the male demographic. Oh yeah, she's quite nice.

Shake it up, indeed. Stay up, peeps.

Live, Laugh and Love.

IT'S AMARETTO ICE CREAM TIME!!

Hells yeah, peeps! It is Friday all up in this bitch! Hope ya'll go out and party because you know I will! The festive cocktails will be held to a minimmu (if any) but still. Enjoy yo'selfs, bitches.

So I am going to knuckle up and do the polls on Sunday. Same as Douchebrawl, they will be on the side of this page and on the website. I'm trying to eliminate clutter and all. It's too busy! You cant even see the logo!

This update is gonna be short, but I have to get this out. Whoever wrote that 'Chain Hang Low' song needs to be shot in the fucking face.

NOW. I hate that song. See, that's why no one respects rap music: it is fucking stupid. Just...stupid. I want that nigga dead so bad it hurts. Puts a damper on the fact that Talib Kweli's new song is out and it kicks ass.

My god, Jibbs has just pissed me off to no end. Now I may just drink myself stupid. Nah, I have more control than that.

Well, I will end with this: where in the hell is Usher? Usually when I say that, his new single comes out and I'm like 'Yay, Usher!' Then after six months of hearing it I say 'Fuck Usher' and couldlive without him for a year. Well, I am missing Usher. We need another 'Yeah!' stat. Because 'Chain Hang Low' is NOT what the world needs right now. I can settle for Justin Timberlake.

I think I will be back tomorrow. Until then, stay up peeps. AND SEE SNAKES ON A MOTHERFUCKING PLANE!!!

Live, Laugh and Love.

Yeah...Right.

How goes it, peeps? Just on to say hey, I will try to have something up late tomorrow night or Saturday morning before I hit them streets.

Snakes on a Plane....WILL RULE ALL! I want to find the 10pm showing, but I'm sure since this is Colorado and we are against all that is cool that I will have to wait until tomorrow or Saturday. Man, even if this movie is bad it will kick the ass. Hell, I can even take my doppelganger if the movie rocks. People are bashing this movie (and rightfully so, I mean they arent even giving the movie to critics but critics suck ass...except for the Master Chief Captain of course) but hey, Sammy J can't be wrong. I mean he CAN, but he won't. Trust me peeps it's gonna be good stuff.

Oh, and yeah....right. After all this time NOW he comes out? I am just finding this hard to swallow. So did JonBenet if the story is correct about how she died. WHOA, not cool Duece. NOT COOL. I would apologize but...you know. I'm an asshole. Well, I guess it is good to have closure. Too bad we had to sit through 3 Nelly albums and a Paris Hilton song to get it. Eh, what can you do?

Hey, we have caught JonBenet's killer but we can't catch Osama Bin Laden? Yeah, crack job the CIA is doing on THAT one. Dipfucks.

Well, I am about to head out. I will try to be back tomorrow or Saturday (to reiterate) with something cool for you guys. I leave you with the proof that puberty can sometimes kick ass. Here is Bennie K's first video.

I still would have hit that. But Yuki looks like a girl I knew in collegethat I had a thing for. To this day I dont know why, she was a biggity-bitch to me. Anyway, they grew up UBERHOT and mega-talented and that is all that matters. Mmm..Yuki. Well, stay up peeps.

Live, Laugh and Love.

Yo yo yo yo yo! What it is? Another early morning update for the peeps because if I don’t do it now, I’m gonna be to tired to do it this evening. With that being said, I think that the Chachi’s are all but set. There has only been one write in so after adding that to the list of nominees I will finalize it and hopefully have the polls up by next week sometime. After that, I think I am going to get the Ladies Night Competition set up before NDK. Just a reminder of what is coming up on the Passion of Chachi.

So I am just getting caught up on Bleach (only on episode 89. I’m like three off) and when I last left it was rather boring but picking up (Ishida with powers? Dare I dream?) I am going to hit that up on the bus ride. I will let you know how it is when I get a chance, either today or tomorrow. Hopefully today, don’t want to leave the peeps with a crappy update. Until then, stay up peeps.

Live, Laugh and Love.

Update: RORY CRAP! THE BOUNTO ARE IN SOUL SOCIETY?! Hells yeah! Just when I was about to give up hope on this show they go and give me a reason to stay. It's my abusive relationship. JUST KIDDING. Oh, and another thing. I am really considering seeing Snakes on a Plane. I mean for what it is worth, it IS Samuel L. Jackson. Even though my doppelganger is in there (how I LOATHE him) I am considering it. If not, then the GOING HOLLYWOOD WITH MASTER CHIEF CHACHI will be put on hold until that college movie Accepted. That looks like it could be funny. I will try to have something up tomorrow. Stay up, peeps.

Chachi out. Again.

Get Yo Learn On!

Good morning, peeps! It’s another cold, rainy Tuesday morning and I must say that Fall is on its way. You know, of all the times of the year, Fall is my favorite. The weather isn’t to hot or too cold and it just has a sense of relaxed vibes. That and you have football season, the World Series and of course my birthday (which if the money is right will be spent in Las Vegas. If not, it will be spent in…Las Vegas. I got a 50/50 shot of becoming rich, baby!) all going on in the Fall. And I also am going to make a stronger effort on the blog starting at the end of August. Think of June-August as summer syndication (with the month of May being sweeps with my crazy escapades and hung-over rants) and September beginning Season 2 of The Passion of Chachi! Will I hit the sophomore slump? Nah, I’m a little older and wiser. A lot more bitter to boot. Yep, this will be a kick ass Fall for the peeps.

Speaking of Fall, that is normally when school starts for everyone. Yet, I am seeing the majority of schools starting the school year in August (early August, as in like yesterday) while ending it in early June. Um, that is only about 60 days of vacation give or take. Why are they making kids stay in school longer? In my day, we got let out the third week of May and came back the first week of September and we liked it. A LOT. We had a full vacation to be forced to sit in a car for a road trip across America (forget the fucking patriots out there. This country sucks. Ever driven through Kansas? I thought so) or go to a camp with dipfucks and shittards. Ah, childhood. I hated thee.

Here is my issue with the longer school year: kids aren’t getting any smarter. Shit, they are already dumb as hell with the shit on TV. Why fry their minds with more schoolwork of subjects that don’t matter? World History? Only one history matters and that’s the good old US of A. Who gives a fuck about French Guyana anyway? Geometry? Name one thing in the world that requires Gemotry to be successful? You think George W. Bush knows Geometry? Fuck no, he doesn’t even know English and he is doing just fine. Oh, except for the ‘war’ thing. As for year long school, that shit has to suck. I know they get breaks upon breaks but that is still asinine. Year round sounds like a great idea in theory and can work for some in the actual implementation.

When it comes down to it, some people are just too stupid to make it work and you end up burning them out. Quite simply I just don’t see why we give kids a break. The real world after high school sucks so much ass that I now believe we should give them a break. I used to be under the school of thought that we should show them that life licks balls from the get-go but I changed that opinion. Give kids time to be kids and have fun. Extending the school year to teach kids irrelevant subjects (RESTURANT MANAGEMENT?! Why not just call it ‘You WILL Work At McDonald’s 101?!') behooves no one. It just lets teachers earn more (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!) and gets schools more money from the state to accommodate more kids (that’s China’s fault). Are they using that money for textbooks yet? When I was in high school (albeit 1998) we didn’t know whether Regan won the election yet. Well, that fucker did and I didn’t find out until 2001. In closing, the children are the future. Give them a fighting chance, not a fight. Make the school year shorter, the classes relevant and stop with the healthy school lunches. Seriously if you want to eat healthy make your kids lunch. Maybe the blame isn’t on the kids for being stupid but is on the parents for not curbing their (and the schools’) stupidity. Just a thought.

Well I will finally do Chachi's Weekly Top Ten, where I will rank my favorite songs. You best believe this song will be on there. Here is Sleepy Brown, Pharell and Big Boi of Outkast with Margaritas.

That song is such a jam. Oh and what is this? More Bennie K? You better FUCKING BELIEVE IT! Gimme my Yuki and Cico!

My god, they are both HAWT. I know I say that everyday, but DAMN LOOK AT THEM. Oh, and Cico has picked her game up. There are a few songs where she has that sultry deep voice going on and man...that is some hotness right there. And now that I am learning what she is saying (something about Chachi is so hot and calling me her 'senpai' or maybe I made that part up myself) it is even better. I better quit talking about this before I get in trouble.

Anyway, the Duece is about to be out. I will try to be back up tomorrow with something quick. Until then, stay up peeps.

Live, Laugh and Love.

I Ain't Dead, M**********rs!

Okay, I had a pretty boring weekend so I didnt update this bad boy. And for that I apologize. On Friday I kind of fell off the wagon (and by kinda I mean so fucking did) so Saturday was just running errands and saying 'Why in the hell did I do that?!' To go along with that, my video card went all crazy (it had blue spots on the screen where there was white. It was weird) so Sunday was spent fixing that. I also cleaned up my room because...well it was filthy. So all in all, it was just a wash for a weekend. Nothing exciting or anything.

Wait! I got my Bennie K and Kumi Koda CD's! Only issue: I forgot that the Kumi Koda DVD was Region 2 which means it wont play in my craptastic Gateway DVD player. In its defense, it wouldnt play The Boondocks all that well (YOU CHUBBY CHEEKED MONKEY! Priceless...) so I can't blame the player.

So with the aftermath of Friday (which I am sure involved drunk dialing) I am cutting myself off again. I got a few drinks to celebrate something and a few turned into 'Holy shit, I'm gonna lurch' and I really hate that. So now I am back into my clean cycle. I'm not gonna lie, being sober is actually a lot more fun for me than when I am drinking, even casually. Mainly because I am not a total fucking tool and forget to go to the movies with a friend of mine and when I finally DO remember I am all like 'It's raining, screw that.' You see, sometimes it really is that simple.

Well, I apologize again for no updat this weeked, I know the peeps look forward to that. I will try to have a rant up this week to make up for it so stay tuned. Until then, take a look at the archives, thats where the good stuff is. Especially the Confederate Flag and Women vs. Society Rants. Until then, stay up peeps. I will return soon.

Live, Laugh and Love.

Ok, So I Lied. Kinda.

Okay, no big update today. Got a big day planned for Saturday (BOLLYWOOD, FOOL! WHAT!) so I will try to do something in the morning. I will give the peeps some ranting and raving on Sunday. Until then:

Live, Laugh and Love.