Buenos dias, mother b*****s!

Sorry, just saw Anchorman for the first time in a while. Right in the babymaker.

This update is gonna be short. I'm gonna be streaming more themes onto the website so feel free to get your listen on. Just a note, the First Round of Douchebrawl 2006 ends tonight at midnight (or whenever I get back). The Second Round voting will start Saturday morning and will end on Monday at midnight. The Suckass Sixteen will start on Tuesday! Tell your friends and enemies! Tell your pet! Tell people in prison! Unlike the presidential elections, felons can vote for Douchebrawl, because this is AMERICA, FOOL! I will update the brackets for printouts, as well. See, I'm thinking about the peeps.

It's been a while since I graced ya'll with a J-pop song. This is probably aside from Bennie K's Oasis and Orange Range's Hana my favorite j-pop/j-rock song. This is BoA's La-La-Love Song live. I have the remix with Soul'd Out (DIGGY-MO, FOOL! WHAT!) and it's good stuff. I'll stream it for a listen on the website.



Doesnt really do it justice. The song is up for streaming on the Happy Fun Time section. One more for good measure. Heartsdales 'Angel Eyes'. If this song came out in 1984, it would be bigger than Relax by Franke Does Hollywood.



Good synth-pop action. So, did anyone watch the Olympics? Me neither. At least I didn't watch American Idol. Jesus T. Christ let it go. It wasnt good in the beginning, and only one of them is any good now. Two if you count Ruben, but he ate himself into obscurity. Kelly Clarkson isn't a GOOD SINGER as much as she is better than the rest of the mouth-breathers. That and she has a suprisingly nice...er...rumpatory.

She seems to be a nice girl, too. Good head on her shoulders, loves her momma and Jesus.

Well, that's all for now. The Chachi has some errands to run before this evening. Don't forget to vote! Stay up, peeps.

Chachi out.

America. Fuck Yeah.

What up, mate? HAHAHAHAHAHA! Big ups to Griff for that one. So what is going down peeps? Doing good? Hells yeah.

Now, you all know I am not a fan of rap. I don't like it and I am usually justified in my opinion by...well listen to most of it. It blows. However, like Dave Chappelle said, Blacks love percussions. That and really freak beats. The first time I heard this song, I lost my mind. I don't know what it is, but this song kicks ass. The video is suprisingly not rage inducing either. I give you one of my three hip hop vices: I Don't Like The Look of It by The Backwudz. Yes, that is how it's spelled:



That is good stuff. Now many of you know that I am from Georgia (something I am going to rant about later so get ready) and the whole influx of rappers from the South is interesting to say the least. You got your T.I. and your Young Jeezy (BOOOOOOO!), but you also got Dem Franchise Boys. I tried to fight liking these guys, I really did. It gets to the point were you have to give up and accept your fate. Sometime you just got to Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It.



Get loose wit it. Get funky wit it. Sue me, that song is tight bangin. Yes, I aint used that in a minute! Lastly is a song I just heard this week. Now this song was a song I got on accident from Limewire while looking for of all things David Hasselhoff songs. Don't ask, long story. Anyway, I burned this onto an MP3 disk and whoa, this song is the mad notes. I actually stumbled across the video yesterday after tie shopping and its not TOO bad. Has it's booty-booty-buttcheeks moments, but no worse than anything else. That and its mellow. If you dig, ask nice and there may be a way to find it. This is T.C.P. (or The Crowd Pleasers) with Gotta Girl (Uh-Huh)

Ah, been a good week. Those who have been voting for Douchebrawl 2006 I thank you. For those that hit up the website in all of its not-quite-done glory I thank you. I'm gonna be working on it now and then to get a feel for it and add more stuff.

Now some things I have to get off of my chest. For they young people reading this, you may not understand what I am talking about but hey, gotta learn sometime.

Okay, I am from the South (Georgia) as is my father (Tennessee) and both sides of my grandparents (Alabama, Mississippi and Arkansas) and for the most part I am rather proud. I am a Falcons fan, I support the Dawgs, eat Chic-Fil-A and I love peaches. However, there is a problem with that region. A problem that needs to be explained in a way that even the most ignorant person can understand.

Time for some history. On 8/7/1920, the Nazi Party officially adopted the Swastika as the symbol on the flag to represent itself as a party. Although the symbol originally was used as a sign of life and good luck by many religions, after being adopted by several German/Aryan movements in the late 1800's it got a HIGHLY negative meaning. How negative? It is illegal to own, sell or purchase memorabilia of the Nazi Party in Germany. After the defeat of Hitler and the Nazi Party (and the cowardly Italians and the Japanese, who didn't surrender as much as were going to run out of cities at the rate things were going) the flying of the Nazi flag became punishable by prison, and also is just douchey move all round. With all of the history involved with that flag such as the Holocaust (Iran is looking into it's validity like OJ is looking for Nicole's killer) and the near destruction of a whole continent its not really cool to have it out. Right? Nearly exterminating a race of people and attacking your neighbors for a crackpot theory of freedom is a great reason to ban flying a flag, right? We can all agree that flying a flag of a country that LOST THE WAR is not cool, right?

So why is it okay to fly the Confederate flag in the South? Now when I say its 'okay' I don't mean there is no opposition. I mean that no one has come up with an argument that makes it through the skulls of the 'South Will Rise Again' idiots down there. As a person born in Georgia (although I am a Colorado resident because there is no way in FUCK I was paying out of state tuition) I kept up with the battle over the state flag. This was the state flag for Georgia from 1920 to 1956


Not bad. Not bad at all. Classic state flag fare. Not too flashy but not lame like some states (California, bears are a threat to national security and you KNOW it! You are on the Chachi's list, Cali!) But for some asinine reason, someone had necro-sex with General Lee or something and came up with this brain-fart. For reasons unknown to rational people, from 1957 to 2001, this was the state flag of Georgia:


Um.....FUCK NO. That flag had to go. That is as much of a middle finger to the American flag as burning it as far as I'm concerned. For a state to blatantly have the confederate flag so prominently in its STATE flag should force them to be kicked the fuck out of the Union. Forty-nine stars would look lame, but at least there wouldn't be any traitors in MY United States of America. So after some debate (well, a lot of debate. Coloreds really don't like the rebel cross for some reason) the flag was changed to this in 2001:

Hmm. This flag was a little bit interesting to me. Look at the 4th flag and you will see the old flag is still in there, just smaller. Now I am willing to understand that the Confederate Flag is part of the American history. You know what else is part of American history? Slave labor and Pogo Balls. Just because something is part of the history doesn't mean we should put it on the flag. Especially when states tried to SECEDE FROM THE GODDAMNED UNION! I cant stress that enough. I honestly didn't mind the flag, because I think state flags are lame any-damn-way. Still people complained and they changed the flag yet again:



Just when I though Texas had the gayest flag in the United States. Still, the 'x' ain't in it and that's cool.

So why did I do this? One, I like putting pictures in Blogger. It's kewl. Secondly, because the confederate flag does not belong in three places:

1. State Flags
2. Any state/government institution (schools, federal/state buildings, libraries, etc.)
3. Any sports team. Seeing as how many of athletes in major college sports are black, wearing the confederate flag on a helmet/uniform or cheering for a rebel mascot seems....counterproductive. I dunno just seems wrong.

Here are a few more states with the confederate flag or a version of on their STATE flag:

Mississippi

Yeah, replace all the state stars with a confederate x. Good job, Mississippi that explains why the state is in the bottom three in education like Ruben Studdard. You only know one fucking state.

Here is Arkansas:

This flag is actually stylish....for 1974. Looks like the logo for 'Love Arkansas Style' which usually involves family. At least they spelled Arkansas right. Gotta give them props for THAT.

Lastly, the anus of the USA, Alabama:

No, that's not a Jpeg that won't load. It's Alabama's fucking state flag. Some would say its a reach to say it is a confederate flag style, but I just think its ugly as hell. And I don't like Alabama. It's a Georgia thing. Aint been since birth and I just hate that state. It's in me blood, like the hatred of Irish and Brits. Or Irish and everybody sober for that matter.

Time to lay it all on the line. The big reason that people give for not flying the Confederate flag is it's racist. Well, it is a symbol of a racist PERIOD in America's history, but its not like the Nazi flag and how it represents the near destruction of a continent. I can understand the feelings the flag brings up, especially when its on the state flag or being flown at a courthouse or school. That is not the reason it should be not be flown. This is the reason:

THE SOUTH LOST THE WAR.

Period. The South CANNOT rise again because of rotating National Guards (thanks for the info, Z-Money. I forgot they did that). Even if they DID rise again, they would get to MAYBE 10 miles into Virginia before their shit got handed to them. If you lose a war, flag priviledges go away end of story. Japan is a special case because they gave us the Nintendo. They EARNED the right to have their flag. When you fly the rebel flag, you are flying a flag that spits in the face of Americans, not just Blacks. You are giving the finger to the the troops (because if you believe in the ways of the Confederacy you don't believe in America, therefore you are against America and against the troops) and you are analy violating freedom. I understand America is based on freedoms and the Southerners be 'free' to fly the flag. You are right. However, you will officially have to secede from the Union again if you want to fly your own flag. Since the majority of the poorest states are in the 'Confederate South', fend for your fucking selves.

In closing, I am not against the South. I am not against whites. I'm really not against the flag. I am against people brandishing artifacts and symbols (see, Zach Communication class are effective) that are insulting to the United States as a whole. The flag isn't a part of Southern lexicon, it is a throwback to a period when the United States was almost destroyed internally. I know most people don't look at it like that, but it's rather logical when you put it into perspective. Oh, and let Dukes of Hazzard go. Nothing is more racist than a Dodge Charger with a Confederate Flag on it that has a horn that plays 'Dixie'. Now THAT is racist.

Wow, that was long. Thanks for listening. Now, back to the good stuff.

You know, I may have to ask to use this for my Samuel L. Jackson for President campaign video. If you don't want to vote for Sammy J after this, you are a commie bastard. US-frickin-A!

Just plain awesome.

That was a great way to end this post. Wait:



No, THAT'S how you end a post. What an end it is. OH! Giggidy-giggidy. Giggidy-goo. Stay up peeps.

Chachi out.

The Chachi has conquered...the internet.

Peeps, it has finally happened. The Duece has infiltrated the internet. Yes, that internet. The world wide web! The porn portal! Whatever you want to call it, Chachi is on it and dare I say, it's time to serve the internet. Jersey style. The site is up and check the tunage! Closing from Bleach, good stuff. Even MORE good stuff if you check out the Douchebrawl 2006 link.

The first thing you will notice is....there is nothing on it. Well, I am not as good at HTML as I used to be, so I am still getting my feet wet by adding the stuff you see on the blog onto the site. For ease, I'm just going to link to the Blogger blog for now. I am also looking for a way to have a streaming file section so people can request songs and I can give samples. Last thing I want to do is piss off the music industry, although they can collectively eat my ass. I also want to share the wealth of anime tracks I have with the peeps (that would be you guys, silly gooses). Call me 'Mr Nice Guy'.

Well, once again, the site is www.lochachi.com and it is up and ready for your approval. I gotta be up early tomorrow, so I'm about to be out. Stay up, peeps. First the internet, the the WORLD!

Chachi out.

Douche Madness!!!

Alrighty, peeps. The first half of the Douchebrawl 2006 First Round is officially completed. The results are as follows:

NKOTB Region

(8) L.L. Cool J - 82.35%
(9) Coldplay - 17.65%

(3) Bono - 100%
(14) Usher - 0%

(2) Nelly -90%
(15) Ying Yang Twinz - 10%

(5) Celine Dion - 51% (via tiebreaker)
(12) Lil Jon - 49%

Pauly Shore Region

(1) Tom Cruise - 100%
(16) Steven Segal 0%

(7) George Clooney - 14.29%
(10) Colin Ferrell - 85.17

(8) Heath Ledger - 25%
(9) Hayden Christensen - 75%

(4) Ben Affleck - 87.5%
(13) Ryan Phillipe - 12.5%

Anna Nicole Region

(8) Jessica Simpson - 66.67%
(9) Sarah Jessica Parker - 33.33%

(3) Cameron Diaz - 77.78%
(14) Katie Holmes - 22.22%

(1) Britney Spears - 100%
(16) Karrine Steffans - 0%

(4) Madonna - 70%
(13) Pam Anderson 30%

Kato Kailen Region

(8) Peyton Manning - 49%
(9) Andy Milanakis - 51% Tiebreaker

(6) Jimmy Fallon - 100%
(11) Cindy Sheehan - 0%

(4) Alec Baldwin - 26.67%
(13) MTV VJ's - 73.33%

(2) Ashton Kutcher - 75%
(15) Dr Phil - 25%

And here are the updated brackets:



Wow, I must say I was shocked to see the MTV VJ's upset Alec Baldwin. He's kind of a, uberdouche. Also, the tiebreaker is decided by The Griff, an impartial (yet anti-social) judge that doesnt like anyone equally. So it's fair. I am really digging a Ben Affleck/Tom Cruise battle for douchebag supremacy. USA! USA! I am pleased by the turnout, peeps. Keep telling yout friends and hopefully I can have 100 votes per matchup by the Douchebag Four. It is a modest dream.

So my interview went well yesterday. I also has one tomorrow from a DIFFERENT location so I am getting kind of excited. Not in the way Jessica Alba used to get me excited, but still. One will work out.

New Bleach, fool! No new episode until the 7th of March though. I say the nay-no to that. Also, Zach is right, powerless Ishida is pissing me off. He should be kicking ass and taking names. He was like Legolas, minus the mega-gay of Orlando Bloom. As a matter of fact, for my next post I will cast Bleach! Yes, I will give my personal cast picks for each (and there is a LOT of them) main character of Bleach. Except Kon, who will be voiced by Stephen Colbert. That aint even an arguable pick.

Well, my interview is in the morning tomorrow so the update tomorrow will be later in the day. Also, polls are open for the second half of the First Round until Friday at Midnight. The Suckass Sixteen begins at 10AM Monday morning!

Before I head out, here is some Jessica BIEL for you. Take that, Ms. Alba!



Stay up, peeps.

Chachi out.

I'm moving on up!

First off, there is a new love in my life, Jessica. I told you I will survive! Meet Kumi Koda. She has actually had my eye for about 2 years or so (FF X-2 fans know her from the Real Emotion song Yuna sings) and you know what, Jess? She's loves me for ME!



Er, the bondage has to go but other than that she is twice the stalkee you were. You know what else, Jess? YOU ARENT MY WALLPAPER ANYMORE! HA!


See, I am so over you!

Sorry about that, peeps what's proper? Sorry, trying out new lingo. First off, Douchebrawl 2006 is going off a little better than I expected. Some brackets are in double-digits (keep in mind, I think only 3 people frequent this blog and no one has double voted so that's a good sign) and so far, there are no real upsets. I expected that, but hopefully the second round will create more excitement.

Well, it seems to be a crappy start for movies in 2006. It was hard for 2005 to top 2004 and I will admit that. In 2004 we had Spiderman 2, Shrek 2, Shark Tale, Harry Potter, Meet The Fockers, Mean Girls, Bourne Supremacy and Jesus Christ's Day Off (or Passion of Christ as it is also known). But name one REAL kick ass movie for 2005? Now 2006 has promise with V For Vendetta, Pirates 2 (Johnny Depp, how you confuse me), X-Men 3, and Superman Returns. The problem is, aside from Pirates 2, all have a REAL good chance of sucking ass. I mean on par with The Hulk. However, I give you a movie that COULD be a sleeper kick ass flick: Silent Hill.



Now first off, I am sure you are saying 'Hey, all video game movies SUCK.' You would be correct in your words. From Super Mario Brothers to Street Fighter (The action's never been so Van Damm good) to BOTH Mortal Kombat flicks to the shitfest known as Bloodrayne (like Brokeback, I dont need to see it to know that it sucks) the track record is not good for video game movies. Even the tolerable ones like Doom and Resident Evil were still BAD movies compared to what they could have been. Dont even get me started on Tomb Raiders' and Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within. The only great video game movie is Final Fantasy: Advent Children and that was a very insider based movie, one that the average movie goer would not like but just marvel at the pretty colors and animation. Silent Hill has a shot to actually be a good movie. If it is based on the first game (which all reports say yes) then it has a real good story to start with. They could find a way to fuck it up, but they would really have to try.

The stills look very good. It looks to have the feel of the game, but at the same time taking the look of movies like The Ring and Saw and amping it up a notch. Check it out:





Not too bad. Keep in mind that there is NOTHING scarier than little white kids. Just.....gives me the heebie-jeebies. Hell, I'm already scared.

Most importantly, there is no Uwe Boll. Look at this tool:



I remember three years ago he was linked to this movie and I was ready to finally give him the business. I mean whoop his ass like the asshat he is. Only reason I left him off the Douchebrawl 2006 was because not enough people hate this guy yet he is the ultimate of all douches. Anyway, they pulled him off of the project and dare I say, that automatically means this movie will not make me want to kill. By getting Christophe Gans (Brotherhood of the Wolf) they actually got....well I don't know much about him but Britherhood was actually pretty good and he is NOT UWE BOLL! That's all that matters.

I can't say Silent Hill WON'T suck. It has a lot of potential and if done correctly (which I believe it will be) it actually could be a good movie, rather than one where you leave and don't say 'I'm not bleeding from my eyes, so it wasnt THAT bad.' Won't be better than Pirates 2, but it should be worth a watch.

Well, the first have of the bracket voting ends tonight at midnight and the second batch will be up until Friday at Midnight. The second round voting begins Saturday at whenever I wake up to update the polls. Gonna go to a convention on Friday and hopefully get an autograph from a legend. If I get enough pics I will post them up Sunday.



Oh, on a totally different note, look what Lindsay Lohan found.


Yeah....they weren't there a week ago. I am officially putting the end on the Lindsay Lovefest. Scarlett Johnansen is the new Lindsay, and she is a marginally better actress to boot (seen Eight Legged Freaks? They you know what I am talking about). See:

That's for you Zach. Don't say I never gave you nothing.

Well, I have an interview in a bit so I will be back later. Wish me luck and stay up.

Chachi out.

AND NO MORE UWE BOLL MAKING MOVIES!!


Dungeon Siege. WORST. MOVIE. EVER. At least it has Burt Reynolds.

Hells yeah.

All I can say about this? Hello Kitty, fool! What?! It's about time.



As you can tell, I'm kind of bored. And when I get bored, the peeps get entertainment. Not gonna lie, I wasnt a big fan of Ren and Stimpy but I did like this. I TOLD YOU I'D SHOOT!



More old school classic cartoon clips because...this kicked ASS. I kind of feel bad for kids because they get stuck with rehashed crap of my youth (TMNT, GI JOE, Power Rangers) or bastardized anime. I used to LOVE Animaniacs. Here are the nations of the world. Little known fact: George W. Bush learned the countries of the world with help of this song and can only sing it in cadence.



Well, thats all for now. Don't forget you have until midnight EST to vote in the first half of the brackets for Douchebrawl 2006. Stay up, peeps

Chachi out.

Yeah, its just not worth it.

So I have been trying to edit my MySpace accounts' code so I can put the Douchebrawl 2006 on there and it aint working. If anyone knows how to edit it, let me know. Also, I tried to create a facebook account because everyone says it kicks ass. All I can say is I never checked out a SINGLE book when I was in college. How in the fuck would I rememeber my college e-mail address and login? Pish-tosh.

Just a quick whats up to the peeps. Have an interview tomorrow so wish me luck. Also, if any of you buy the Kevin Federline album I will beat you. Badly. I swear on it.

Chachi out. And I'm in Korea! If anyone can translate help me out.

Lazy Sunday Blues

Well, its still cold. This is some crap. But at least I got some news for my peeps. Saves you from having to read the Sunday paper. All those words.

First off, Nick and Jessica are split and we know it would come down to this: money. Well, all I can say to Nick is get your money! Jessica should pay out solely because I was surprised he didn't beat her ass for being so goddamned stupid. Ike whooped Tina for a lot less and although I am not a fan of spousal abuse, if anyone needed to be knocked upside the head it is Jessica Simpson. Might knock some sense into her oo at least get the frustration out of being married to a woman with no ass. Look at this:


Aint nothing back there but disappointment. Unfortunately the junk is in her head and not the trunk. Oh, no I didn't!

Secondly, what is the sound of a television drama about the first female commander-in-chief being cancelled? Answer: it doesn't make a sound because no one watched. However, I don't think this show failed because it was about a woman president. I think it failed because it sucked. I watched once episode and it wasn't very good. I think it was about a tape of her or her daughter that could hurt her approval rating. Like that crap hurts Bush, everyone knows he's incompetent but we know he won't compromise national integrity by banging a pudgy intern. Although he does seem to have 'chocolate fever' over Condi Rice and don't even act like you don't see the chemistry. Laura better watch out because George wants some chocolate syrup on his vanilla cone. Ah, my sexual innuendo is impeccable.

Sadly, every TV/movie president has been better than G Dubya. Even Leslie Nielsen in 'Scary Movie 3' was better and I wish death on everyone in that movie except George Carlin. Well who do I think would run this country better? Glad you asked, peeps. I officially bring to my proposed ticket for 2008:

Samuel L. Jackson and Neil Patrick Harris!


Hail to the chief, mother-f***er!

What about the cabinet? Glad you asked!

Secretary of State. Christopher Walken!



Imagine this:

Walken: 'Mr Hussien. We need to know.....where...your weapons of mass destruction...are hidden. DO YOU KNOW....where they are....Mr. Hussein? We know...that YOU KNOW. Where they are.'
Jackson: 'WHERE ARE THE MOTHER-F***KER? WE KNOW YOU HAVE THEM! IF WE FIND THEM OURSELVES WE WILL COME DOWN WITH A HOLY F*****G VENGEANCE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND!'
Harris: 'Saddam, come on. He will do it. Just....walk with me. I don't want to see you die. Seem like a nice guy. Just give us the weapons and I wont have our military leave Iraq as the crater between Iran and Africa.'

Perfect good cop/bad cop/crazy cop dynamic. Now we have worthless cop (Rice)/baby eating cop (Cheney)/slightly retarded cop (Bush).

Secretary of Defense? None other than Chuck Norris!














Terrorists have seen 'Delta Force' and 'Missing in Action'. His phrase could be 'You don't fuck....with CHUCK'. Damn skippy.

Homeland Security Director? The only choice is Djimon Hounsou.




















I know he was born in Benin but Sammy J and NPH can pull some strings. Consider the homeland secure. You wanna test this man? Hells no.

I am liking this cabinet. USA, baby. USA.

In other news, it seems that I have to make a trip to Japan. Yes, Pokeland is in full effect. You know, I have said it once and I will say it again. End the panty fetish and I will become a Japanese citizen TONIGHT. You don't see stuff like thins here. Or the karoke party time places. Just once I want to break into song and not be arrested.

Lastly, I keep on hearing rumors that Jessica Alba is secretly engaged to Cash Warren. If that is the case, then I must say this now.....if you are engaged Jessica, I am happy for you. Oh that noise? The sound OF MY HEART BEING RIPPED OUT BY THE WOMAN I LOVE! How could you do this to me? Why?! WHY?! I love-did-did you, girl! Dru Hill help me sing it!



I...I guess its over. I have given up on trying to win you. This will be the last time you see her on this blog again.



*sigh*

But like Jesus, I will survive Jessica!



Minus the whole bus thing. But I will survive! Well, stay up peeps. And don't forget to vote in Douchbrawl 2006!



Chachi out. VOTE OR DIE!

Three words: Keep it real.

Well if you look to your right, you will see half of the First Round match-ups for Douchebrawl are up and running. I am doing a little modification so voting may be lagging for a few minutes. Just to know they are all up and ready. I will leave them up until 12PM Tuesday night then post the next 16 battles until midnight on Friday. From that point on I will have all the match-ups on the blog to be voted on. Quick but fair.

Also, deliberations will soon begin for the 'Battle of All That Is Awesome' in the same vein as Douchebrawl but for stuff that kicks ass. Once things have been narrowed down, the meetings will begin and will include punch and pie.

Seeing as how spring is right around the corner, here is a little something old school for ya. It might be almost spring, but we are COLD CHILLIN' right now. BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!! It's Biz Markie, dammit. Big up to the Grizzle!



Well, I gots to make a few more runs. You have until Tuesday to make your voices heard! Stay up peeps, and hear what Captain Planet has to say.



You heard that? The power is yours! And mine. But mainly yours.

Chachi out.

The day after tomorrow....will still be cold as hell.

Looking at the weather outside, hell has just frozen over because Bret 'Hitman' Hart is going into the WWE Hall of Fame. For those unfamiliar with the Hitman, here is a quite intro.



I really want to speak on this because Bret Hart was/is my favorite wrestler ever, even over The Rock. When I was in Aviano we used to play wrestle at the AYA and at friends houses and everyone wanted to be Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior. Not me. Juan and I used to be the Hart Foundation everytime. I was too big (and er....black) to be Bret so I was Jim Neidhart while Juan was Bret. Even still, Bret was my favorite wrestler. I always knew wrestling was scripted, especially when Hogan beat Big John Studd and King Kong Bundy by himself. But Bret added a sign of fluidity to his matches that I dug. I used to think that Davey Boy was REALLY gonna break his back on those Irish Whips into the corner. Hell, I used to call out the 'Five Moves of Doom' before they were called the 'Five Moves of Doom'. I remember in 1992 when he won the WWF Championship in Saskatoon because I had just returned to the States from Overseas. Not gonna lie, it was almost as big for me as fan as the the 1991 NLCS Game 7 Braves vs. Pirates.

I remember screaming 'shenanigans' when Hogan stole the belt from Yokozuna (R.I.P.) at Wrestlemania IX. I remember him winning it back the following year after Vince had him wrestle every talentless fuck with a pulse (sans Jerry Lawler who I actually saw in Memphis and is a hell of a guy). I remember watching in disgust during Wrestlemania XII during the Ironman Match between Bret and Shawn Micheals because I knew he was gonna lose to that jerk ('Get the fuck out and let me have my moment' real classy, Mike Hickenbottom. See you in hell). I remember Austin/Hart in the I Quit Match, which is my choice for Best Match ever, just ahead of Savage/Steamboat at WMIII. I watched Survivior Series 97 with the infamous screwjob live. I swore it would be the last WWF pay-per-view I would watch because I was that big of a Bret fan. Unfortunatly I also remember that craptastic run in WCW which saw him go from good guy to bad guy 7 times.

I remember Over The Edge that I was trying to order but couldnt get in touch with Adelphia to get it in time. A friend of mine from college was giving me play by play when Own fell from the ceiling to his death. Not gonna lie, I cried when I heard he died when I finally got to his house to see the rest of the PPV. I cried when Bret showed up on Nitro to talk about it and during almost the whole tribute episode. I remember the change in him, as it became almost painful to watch him in the ring. It wasnt the same Bret.

By the time Goldberg injured him (another guy I could do without) I hadnt seen him wrestle in about three months. He kind of faded away and my enjoyment for wrestling did too. Up until the Bret Hart DVD came out all I knew about wrestling is I cant stand Triple H because he would refuse to job to Jesus Christ himself in Bethlehem. Now to go full cicrle, Bret said he would never work for the WWE again, but he put that aside to be inducted in to the WWE Hall of Fame. Supposedly he is doing it for free to stand by his word of not working for Vince. Hey Bret, I dont care if you do it for a ham and cheese sandwich. THANK YOU. You are one of the few people I have been a fan of in any medium and I look forward to seeing you again. If anyone deserves to be in the Hall of Fame, its Bret hart. And the 'Macho Man' Randy Savage. OH, YEAH DIG IT!

And now, the RWF, bay-bee! Long video but worth the wait.



Whoooooo, funny stuff.

Anyway, it is diamond nipple cold outside. I swear, there is no need for it to be 5 degrees. Global warming my ass! And dont even say that the extreme cold is a sign that global warming exists. That works if you live in the Yukon territory but not in America. I would have figured we would have figured out a way to put Mother Nature in her place like we did with the female President dream. Aint that right, Geena Davis. Oooohhh, burn! I am the insult master!

Don't forget to vote in Douchebrawl 2006! Listen to Jerri Blank.



Well, Chachi needs to tend to the dog. I shall hit ya'll off with something tomorrow. Stay warm, peeps.

Chachi out.

Wow, we have officially STOPPED the revolution.

Okay, I just have to say it: Black people, the movement is over. Well its a BOWEL MOVEMENT because the revolution has been shat on. Is shat a word? Anyway, between all the work that rappers and Marion Barry have done to get on my nerves no one has done more to piss me off than Cowboy Troy.

First off, I dont want people saying I dont like country music. I dont really like much of any-damn-thing and yes, country is on the list. So is everything else not made by Common, Bennie K, Outkast or Soul'd Out. And of course Morris Day and the Time. Them's the smooth notes.

Now I heard about Cowboy Troy a while back from a friend of mine when I said jokingly 'Damn, I hope rap and country never mix again like that Nelly/Tim McGraw skullf**k.' He said that was already the case and I prayed to Christopher Walken that he was lying and I let it slip my mind. Then I was watching college football last year and the ESPN (BOOOOO) chosen song was 'Coming To Your City' by a country troop I had heard of called Big And Rich. I had heard some raps in their songs in the few times I heard them at work but I brushed it off as just some black dude they found in a bar that did karaoke to 'Walk This Way.' I had no idea how close (yet far) I was from the truth.

First off, I was stunned to see a black man in country music. Aside from Charlie Pride and Ray Charles I never knew people of color were allowed. And dont even start with Tejano music because that stuff is just SCARY. It really sounds like the devils music, like they play that at the gates of hell and in the elevators as muzak. It's not that he is doing country music. If that is what is in your heart then go for it. It's HOW he is doing country music that pisses me off to no end.

First off: nigga if you coined the term 'hick-hop' you should be slapped. Seriously. And I use 'nigga' to show your ignorance or the ignorance of whoever in the hell decided that was a legit form of whatever the hell you do. To refer to yourself as the 'Big Blackneck' is the biggest load of shit ever. Whites who are proud of being 'rednecks' eqaute to women proud of being 'bitches' and blacks proud of being 'niggas': fucking stupid. I dont care how many times you say taking the word back takes away the offensive connotations. Jews dont call each other kikes and heebs. Stop the crap, moron.

Most importantly you suck. Hard. I dont mean Tom Green suck where you are funny in a REALLY small dose or certain situations. I mean at no point in time, EVER, will you be good. Its like my age old addage: you and talent are parallel lines. The two of you at no point in time will EVER intersect. NEVER. The only thing you have going for you is (hopefully) you are the only rapper in country music. So you have a pretty wide open market to suck as hard as you want and not be threatend. As much as you such, Sean Combs has proven that need of talent doesnt stop people from being rich. Asshat. I came THIS close to putting you into the Douchebrawl 2K6.

It's really sad, too. I'm not much on people being trailblazers and groundbreakers. Especially in a day and time when the battle lines for pretty much all issues have been set. There isnt a lot of room for persuasion. But a black man in country music could have been a great move. IF HE WASNT A FUCKING CARICATURE. When Eminem came into rap, I didnt balk, I was happy to a white person being himself and succeding. Then he started talking about raping his mother and killing his wife and he lost me. But never did he become a mockery of himself or whites (we left that to Quentin Tarrentino, you racist moronic fuck). Cowboy Troy on the other hand became what I feared: a overblown character in a field where there is no alternative. There isnt anyone else to compare him to so all blacks in country music are expected to be jive talking, chicken-eating, cowboy hat wearing clowns with mediocre skills and a weak ass southern drawl. Take a look at this abortion case:



Now the picture doesnt tell the story. Watch and listen to him. The "Play Chicken With A Train" is pure lyrical mastery. People can say whatever they want about Marshall Mathers (hell, I will lead the charge because he is overblown) but at least he made not only black rappers step their game up due to his hype but white rappers have to come with some skills. In country all you need is a good Jim Crow walk and a bucket of KFC to be the shit cuz we's loves the KFC, massa. Die in hell, Cowboy Troy. In joint with Black History Month I can honestly say that you have stopped the movement. Bobby Brown couldnt do it. Marion Berry couldnt do it. Even Nelly couldnt do it and he was my odds on favorite. With people like you, I will be harvesting cotton in no time. Troy, I salute you.

Keep in mind I dont know Troy personally. I am just taking what he does at face value and commenting on it at face value. I could be wrong and he does stuff behind the scenes to help out the image of Blacks in country. However, since from what I know (which about country is LITTLE, I'll admit) he IS the image of Blacks in country.

He still is a better example than BET. Which for reasons unknown to me doesnt play his videos. BET is another rant altogether, but all I can say is this: BET just has a commercial about how it is important to give exposure to Black History Month and the pioneers of the Civil Rights Movement. What do they follow it up with? Nelly's Grillz. Before that? A commercial with Abe Lincoln and George Washington on the currency with gold teeth talking about a comedy marathon. Maybe it ain't Troy's fault afterall. Go figure. Ignorance, its spreading.

Now, back to the good stuff. For those that say I only have pictures of other races on my blog, here you go. I can exploit Black women as much as I can any other race. I AM KIDDING. Women are beautiful.



As Mix-A-Lot said 'keep them beanpole dames'. Although they really aint as thick as I like its still okay to the Chachi.

Well, Chachi needs to brave the elements in a bit. Wish me luck. Before I go, WHO WANTS A BODY MASSAGE?!



Chachi out.

It has begun....

Well, it's time. The Douchebrawl 2006 officially begins.....wait for it.....NOW!! On the sidebar are the first four of 32 first round match-ups!

Vote as often as you like! Like I said, it's America and we do what we want when we want. Take THAT Planet Earth. I like the sound of 'Planet America' better anyway.

No real news I give a rats ass about today. Except Cheney shooting an old man in the face. Dick, NOT COOL. After he has had you all up in his house. I dont beef with Cheney like that, but if he shot me in my face it would be on like Donkey Kong playing ping pong. And that's real.

This is gonna be short but I have to link to this. Whoever made this, I need to be part of your puppet crew.



Stay up peeps, its hella cold outside so I'm gonna get some cocoa.

Chachi's out for a bit.

STIFF NINJA TIME!

MO' BLEACH, FOOL! WHAT!

A full hour of Bleach, and interview and applesauce. Can life get any better? Of course it can. KON, FOOL! WHAT!



So, on a follow up to the 'Douchebrawl 2006'. Odds are I am going to have one matchup for each bracket up (for a total of four) up for 2-3 days for voting. This will give prime time for voting and have it not take 5 months. It's open to change so let your voice be heard!

Speaking of Bleach, the new PSP Bleach game is a fighting game while the PS2 game is an RPG and they were just released...about 7 hours ago. The fighter reminds me a little of Fear Effect and DBZ Budokai. Both of which were kinda average so I hope this is better. With Advent Children, GTA: Liberty City Stories and this the PSP is looking mighty tempting. But I aint got 400 bucks so Sony can wait for my cash. As for the RPG, all I can say is I better be able to use Kon as a character. That and the Bankai's would kick ass if they were like Summons/Aeons of the Final Fantasy series. That would rule all.

Oh, and Sony: if you create a remake of FFVII on the PS3 that looks like this, I will give you my soul. I'm not even joking.



That is GOOD STUFF.

God, I can't stand Nick Cannon. I mean REALLY can't stand him. Before Dave Chappelle said 'Fuck Nick Cannon; I was saying it. I remember watching a special on 'BET' about him and saying 'I hate Nick Cannon' to Griff and he responded 'What the fuck is a Nick Cannon, you making up words?' I forgot to add him to 'Douchebrawl' to boot. That and I am all about abortions and his dumb ass song 'Can I Live' is a wack rip off of Common's Retrospect For Life. And nigga, you are NO COMMON. Hell, your ass aint even a Nelly. I hope you get mauled by a bear, you mouth-breathing bastard.

Oh, and no one cares about Jay-Z and Nas making up. Its not like Sharon and Hussien singing 'Don't Go Breaking My Heart' together at Bush's birthday, its two rappers seeing that they make more money together than apart. That and Nas has sucked since his I Am album.

Well, I needs to see the world again. I may drop some goodness for the peeps this evening, until then, this is the greatest video EVER. If you dont laugh something is wrong with you.



Chachi out.

It has come to pass....

First off, I need to get this off my chest. ESPN: I don't give a rats ass about Nascar. Quit hyping it because it IS NOT A SPORT. Is it dangerous? Yes. Is it exciting? If you like high speed traffic, then yes. Does it make money? Unfortunately yes, but so does beastiality. There is a market for everything. Nascar is boring and more about technology than athleticism. It doesn't have the skill of hockey, the pageantry and heart of college basketball or the rabid fans of international soccer. Hell, in all honesty Nascar is the only sport where colored and foreigners haven't taken over (I'm sorry, but I see a real subtle racial undertone in Nascar). Quite simply, all Nascar is entertainment in the vain of monster trucks, fishing and hunting. All the skill is left to the weapon or vehicle and people try to pass it off as 'sport' because their is a level of difficulty that is about the same as playing Doom or Gran Turismo. Yet they say gamers aren't athletes, if these are sports then we are the EPITOME of athletes. Suck on THAT, Nascar fans.

Now, back to the good news. The brackets for 'Douchebowl 2006' (think I'm gonna trademark that) have been tenativly created. Like I said, I am open to suggestions but they better be GOOD. Big ups to Z-Swazy for the help. Here are the brackets for now. After next week they will be stuck and the voting will begin.




*Sigh* Inoue Waka. I would like to take you to a movie and maybe some lunch.



Aw, hell yeah.

For those of you that say that I have an affinity for Japanese women that could NOT be farther from the truth. See, I loves Zhang Ziyi. And she's Chinese so there.




She needs to eat a sandwich, but my heart is all aflutter none the less.

I have decided to not do my Wal-Mart rant just yet. I was rather pissed when I went to the Mart yesterday and I was writing out of anger and I don't like to do that. I've calmed down and I am still gonna do it. I just believe that when all the candy has been opened in the impulse items that it is kind of nice for you to GET RID OF IT.

Ah, emo kids. I'm not gonna say that they sit in their closets with their gothy teddy bears writing whiny poems about their pain because daddy doesn't love them and their only way out is suicide. That's a pretty good catoregorization, though. Nothing personal, but unless you live in Denmark by a mosque or are being peed on by a R&B star your life aint that bad. Be cool, guy.

Hells yeah, Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors. It was an underrated show. Better than a lot of the crap in the 80's *cough*Go-Bots*cough* we sat through.



Well, I am out for the day. Snow is a coming and I gots lots of hot chocolate. Stay up peeps.

Chachi out.

Oh, and Griff. Six words: WHY YOU WANNA SAUCE ME OUT?!