What is up, people! Its Friday here in the CSP and with every Friday comes the 20 biggest videos on the planet! It’s time for the…
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
Let’s get started!
20. RBD - Inalcanzable (Last Week #17)
It looks like the end for RBD as they fall three more spots as we begin the Countdown this week. Can it get any rougher for me seeing as how I may never get to see Anahi live? Oh, the pain…The PAIN.
19. Paramore – That’s What You Get (New Entry)
Paramore is back! After a four month hiatus, Paramore is back for…well…more. Hayley and crew are on the Countdown for a third time and have yet to hit the top spot. Foxxi MisQ finally broke their streak, can Paramore?
18. Mihimaru GT – Diverge (Last Week #14)
Looks like the end of the road for another Countdown staple. Three Top 10 videos (Including a three week stint at number one in 2007) is a great run and this video spent two weeks as the runner up to the monster that was Bennie K so buck up! They will be back.
17. TERIYAKI BOYZ - ZOCK ON! feat. Pharrell and Busta Rhymes - ZOCK ON! (Last Week #16)
The Boyz are STILL hanging on for dear life! It has been almost two months and they haven’t moved past number 14, but they are still here. How long can they last in the bottom half? Busta has two new videos out…and one may just get on here.
16. YA-KYIM – Super Looper (Last Week #20)
YA-KYIM is looking very impressive their first time out! The trio moves up four big spots this week, the second biggest jump of the week. This song is really….really catchy and I even found myself singing it in the shower. I NEVER sing in the shower.
15. The Roots feat. Chrisette Michelle & Wale – Rising Up (Last Week #18)
The Roots have a double play! Their newest video moves up three spots this week…
14. The Roots feat Dice Raw & Peedi Crack – Get Busy (Last Week #12)
….while their old joint falls two spots. Their album came out this week and debuted in the Top 10 on Billboard! Maybe people aren’t as dumb as I thought.
13. Erykah Badu - Honey (Last Week #10)
Miss Badu falls out of the Top 10 this week as we keep on moving. I haven’t heard about anything new yet which is kind of dishearting but that’s no big deal.
12. Colbie Caillat – Realize (Last Week #13)
Colbie is slowly moving up as she is two spots from the Top 10! This song is really growing on me, mostly because I am eternally lonely and need this song. It helps out some. But I have to say that her eyes are REALLY close together.
11. Yui – Namidairo (Last Week #8)
Yui falls out of the Top 10 this week and even though she has two songs on the Countdown it is a shocking trend that she has four straight videos hit number two. Not only did they hit number two they stayed there for multiple weeks. It’s a shame, but we have to move on!
10. Alicia Keys – Teenage Love Affair (Last Week #15, Biggest Mover)
My baby boo is back in the upper half! Alicia Keys moves up a big five spots for her third Top 10 video of 2008! Can she make it three for three from her latest CD? We will have to see about that. By the way….she is FINE.
9. Bennie K – Monochrome (Last Week #6, Seven Weeks at #1)
After a long run at the top, Bennie K falls three spots this week. Their greatest hits album was well worth the time to pick up, especially because of how much I still love “Dreamland.” However, I guess that means nothing new from them for a while, though. I miss Yuki and Cico already!
8. Kelun – SIXTEEN GIRL (Last Week #11)
Kelun move into the Top Ten! I still cannot find out when his next album comes out or when the single for “CHU-BURA” comes out. Hell, I can’t even find THIS SONG. It seems they always have to hide the stuff I want to actually hear. Kick ass stuff.
7. Yui – Laugh Away (Last Week #4)
Yui’s second video on the Countdown falls out of the Top Five this week. It has been a good year for Yui with a new album and two huge videos. Oh, and her live performance of this song was so cute I wanted to marry a kitten. Until I realized….it would never work. Two different worlds.
6. Toshinobu Kobuta feat. Misia - Flying Easy Loving Crazy (Last Week #9)
Kobuta and Misia are literally flying high! The duo moves up three big spots as they both make the most of their first visits on the Top 20. They may be new to the Countdown but they are J-R&B veterans and have been at this for a long time. WHERE IS THE ALBUM?!
5. Lupe Fiasco feat Nikki Jean – Hip Hop Saved My Life (Last Week #5)
We are into the Top Five and we begin with an artist that already has a number one video in 2008! Lupe moves up by himself (Kind of) as he looks to cement his name as a contender for the Chachi for Artist of the Year. Big year so far, but let’s see how the year plays out.
4. Foxxi MisQ – X.B.F. (Last Week #2, One Week at #1)
After finally breaking the streak, Foxxi MisQ slows their descent down a tad as they fall only two spots this week. From how it looks, we should have a sequel to “Gloss” by the end of the summer and I am hella pumped about that. We are down to three!
3. Kanye West feat. Chris Martin – Homecoming (Last Week #7)
It is a “homecoming” of sorts for Kanye as he makes it back to the Top 3 for the second straight time of 2008! The owner of the album of 2008 looks to continue his dominance with another number one and put his name in the hat for Artist of the Year. Can he get his third number one video of the last 12 months? We’ll see!
2. L`Arc~en~Ciel – DRINK IT DOWN (Last Week #3)
The Arc is at it again! In 2007, Hyde and Company pulled off the upset of the year by knocking off the video of the year in UGK & Outkast’s “International Players Anthem” and taking the crown. Albeit it was only for one week, they still beat the champ. Now they are back at number two and looking to knock off the champ! Can they do it? Not this week…
1. Usher feat. Young Jeezy – Love In This Club (Last Week #1, Two Weeks at #1)
….as Usher tops the Countdown for a second week in a row! To make things even more awesome, he has a NEW VIDEO coming out in the next three weeks! HELLS YEAH! Don’t get too happy because BI IS BACK IN OCTOBER! IT IS SO ON! Until then, Usher is the King of the Countdown!
That is all for this week! Tune in next Friday to see if Usher and Jeezy can make it three weeks in a row? Or will L’Arc~en~Ciel once again score the upset and take the number one spot? Or can Kanye West continue his run of dominance over the Countdown and take the throne yet again? For The first time in a year it is a man's world on the Top Three of the Countdown! Tune in next week to find out who comes out the champ!
Well I am out. I just got my Zune (W00T MOTHERFUCKER! LICK MY ASS APPLE!) so I need to set that up and then it is off to see….Speed Racer. Something tells me I may hate myself after that. I will be back with a review of Speed Racer on Sunday. Saturday I am debating between a rave and going to downtown Denver. It’s a toss up. Until next time, stay up, peeps.
Chachi Out.
Friday, May 09, 2008
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Everything I Ever Said About Women Is Validated Tonight...
Hillary stated at her "victory speech":
"You know, my opponent made a prediction I would win Pennsylvania, he would win North Carolina and that Indiana would be the tiebreaker. Well, tonight we have come from behind and broken the tie and are on the fast track to the White House!"
YOU CANNOT TIE SOMEONE IF YOU ARE FUCKING LOSING YOU GOD DAMN MORON!
(Update: Funny enough, the race has tighted from a 17 point margin to about dead even. Ah, sweet irony.)
Enough is enough. Hillary needs to stop right the fuck now. Math, time and logic are against her and all she is doing is dividing the Democratic Party further than it has been over the last three years. She has to win 67% of the remaining delegates AND superdelegates (That number is skewed because it would mean that Hillary also won tonight’s races at 70% which she didn’t) to defeat Obama and that is highly unlikely, if not impossible.
Hell, this is from THREE WEEKS AGO and she was better off in terms of standing. She is Running on COULD will not win the election, it will just fuck over the whole party.
What is even better is the “October Surprise” threat she made if Obama gets the nod. What the fuck, woman? Are you so delusional and selfish that you are willing to fuck over everyone just to win? After all of this, you will not beat McInsane because you have people believing that you have a shot when you do not. The only way you can win is to STEAL the election…exactly what Bush did in 2000. Didn’t you ream him a new one for that? Fucking hypocrite. Do you really believe you are electable if you fuck over the voices of the people? The fact she is even mentioning suing the party or going against her initial wants for the Florida & Michigan votes puts the party in a bad light and as much asshatery and douchery the Republican Party brings (and it is there in spade)…it is better than utter and complete incompetence. Which is exactly what the Democratic Party is exhibiting.
Even better are the people that say she should be the Vice Presidential nominee when she loses because it was such a close race. Fuck that shit. She panders to the lowest common denominator of the American people (No, I am not an elitist I am a fucking realist). There is nothing wrong with being upset about your jobs situation and feeling like God is a way to turn. It’s utter and complete bullshit as is all organized religion IMHO but to each their own. If you love your gun, you love your gun. With that being said….
FUCKING ADMIT THAT SHIT!
There was nothing wrong with what Obama said because the shit is true. So the fuck what? Niggas don’t get mad about being called niggas anymore. They embrace that shit. Niggas is making mad money off making ringtones for other niggas and dumb bitches. Aint nothing wrong with making that cash fetti dollars, especially if you are taking it from people as dumb as you.
This thing needs to end right now. The longer this goes, the worse it gets and then I have to worry about McCain having a heart attack or gnawing the face off Jacques Chirac because he said that Canadian bacon is better than regular bacon. As cool as that would be, it would look bad for us as a country. I don’t know about you, but I like Bryan Adams:
So please fix this shit you have gotten us into. Hillary needs to either concede this race and put her support behind Obama or be forever known as the person that gave us the first President to give a chairshot to Putin. Because not only is McCain capable of it, he WILL do it.
Although…that would totally kick ass. Maybe McCain wouldn’t be so bad. I mean I am all for wars and I hate hippies so biofuels can eat my fucking ass. Maybe McInsane in 2008 aint so bad! Just kidding; McCain is one crazy nigga.
Chachi Out.
"You know, my opponent made a prediction I would win Pennsylvania, he would win North Carolina and that Indiana would be the tiebreaker. Well, tonight we have come from behind and broken the tie and are on the fast track to the White House!"
YOU CANNOT TIE SOMEONE IF YOU ARE FUCKING LOSING YOU GOD DAMN MORON!
(Update: Funny enough, the race has tighted from a 17 point margin to about dead even. Ah, sweet irony.)
Enough is enough. Hillary needs to stop right the fuck now. Math, time and logic are against her and all she is doing is dividing the Democratic Party further than it has been over the last three years. She has to win 67% of the remaining delegates AND superdelegates (That number is skewed because it would mean that Hillary also won tonight’s races at 70% which she didn’t) to defeat Obama and that is highly unlikely, if not impossible.
Hell, this is from THREE WEEKS AGO and she was better off in terms of standing. She is Running on COULD will not win the election, it will just fuck over the whole party.
What is even better is the “October Surprise” threat she made if Obama gets the nod. What the fuck, woman? Are you so delusional and selfish that you are willing to fuck over everyone just to win? After all of this, you will not beat McInsane because you have people believing that you have a shot when you do not. The only way you can win is to STEAL the election…exactly what Bush did in 2000. Didn’t you ream him a new one for that? Fucking hypocrite. Do you really believe you are electable if you fuck over the voices of the people? The fact she is even mentioning suing the party or going against her initial wants for the Florida & Michigan votes puts the party in a bad light and as much asshatery and douchery the Republican Party brings (and it is there in spade)…it is better than utter and complete incompetence. Which is exactly what the Democratic Party is exhibiting.
Even better are the people that say she should be the Vice Presidential nominee when she loses because it was such a close race. Fuck that shit. She panders to the lowest common denominator of the American people (No, I am not an elitist I am a fucking realist). There is nothing wrong with being upset about your jobs situation and feeling like God is a way to turn. It’s utter and complete bullshit as is all organized religion IMHO but to each their own. If you love your gun, you love your gun. With that being said….
FUCKING ADMIT THAT SHIT!
There was nothing wrong with what Obama said because the shit is true. So the fuck what? Niggas don’t get mad about being called niggas anymore. They embrace that shit. Niggas is making mad money off making ringtones for other niggas and dumb bitches. Aint nothing wrong with making that cash fetti dollars, especially if you are taking it from people as dumb as you.
This thing needs to end right now. The longer this goes, the worse it gets and then I have to worry about McCain having a heart attack or gnawing the face off Jacques Chirac because he said that Canadian bacon is better than regular bacon. As cool as that would be, it would look bad for us as a country. I don’t know about you, but I like Bryan Adams:
So please fix this shit you have gotten us into. Hillary needs to either concede this race and put her support behind Obama or be forever known as the person that gave us the first President to give a chairshot to Putin. Because not only is McCain capable of it, he WILL do it.
Although…that would totally kick ass. Maybe McCain wouldn’t be so bad. I mean I am all for wars and I hate hippies so biofuels can eat my fucking ass. Maybe McInsane in 2008 aint so bad! Just kidding; McCain is one crazy nigga.
Chachi Out.
Monday, May 05, 2008
36 Minutes Until The Hottest Moment In Comedy Central History!
So I have decided to return after a double dip yesterday. Sometimes I just decide to get on and toss a few thoughts up for fun. That and I am staying awake to see Rain on the Colbert Report! America, prepare to feel the RAIN!
Until then, here are some of…
Chachi’s Random Thoughts!
Random Thought #1: Sake Is Damn Good
I said it once to my boss outside Mile High Saloon (Copper…how awkward was that?) and I stand by this statement: the only thing that keeps me from being an alcoholic is the cost. That and the total lack of knowledge on how to make my own, of course. However, if I could make my own alcohol it woud have to be sake. That shit is fucking awesome and with sushi it is even better. Oh, and as the Hoag learned you better be able to put it down when you hang with me because sake and I go together like…well…schoolgirls and I:
Before you complain, two of them are 18. Two of them….aren’t. That is the fun of Korea: that shit don’t matter!
Random Thought #2: Hillary Should Stop
If Hillary loses North Carolina (Which all signs point to) and loses or barely wins Indiana (Which all signs also point to, as well) she needs to drop out. Seriously, you are fucking the Democratic Party up worse than Ronald Reagan could have ever dreamed. I swear if you sue to get Florida & Michigan votes in after deciding eaerlier the votes wouldn’t count you will destroy (Repeat: DESTROY) the democratic party. No more than Howard Dean did, but still. BYAAAAAAAH!
Random Thought #3: Hockey Is Still ON?
I really want to like hockey. I mean I really do. I know that Canadians are the only ones that are playing it and that it comes on a network I didn’t even know I had until Saturday but I mean at least TRY to get the attention of people. I mean, I know the Stanley Cup is going to be on SOMEWHERE but can anyone tell me where? As the only person in Colorado that could give two shits about the Colorado Avalanche it makes it hard to watch hockey because people are always drunk when hockey is on. I guess it helps slow the game down for the bros and when they say “man down on the ice” it also means bending your bro over the Nati Ice keg. Fuck you, that was funny. Oh, and I am really looking forward to a Penguins/Red Wings Stanley Cup. That actually might make me find the game on TV for once.
Random Thought #4: Midgets Piss Me Off
They just do. Creepy little fuckers.
Random Thought #5: You Know, If You Don’t Want Your Cootch To Be Seen In Public…Wear Underwear.
I have only mentioned this once on the blog but it bear repeating after someone had the never to defend the stance of celebs not wearing underwear. If you know you are being photographed at all times, wouldn’t you take safeguards to make sure that you are covered and things you don’t want seen? So with that being said, if you don’t want your naughty bits to be seen on TMZ or Egotastic then just cover them up? Is it really that hard? Are panties and bras that confining that you must toss them aside at the risk of having your naughty bits exposed? This doesn’t only go for celebs, this goes for random women, too. Life is life, ladies. There are people that are going to take pictures of your goodies if you let the flash in public just like women will marry a man for money just to divorce him and get half. It is a fact of life and all you can really do is protect yourself against it. You can thumb your nose to logic and go for the comfort of no drawls but when you do, you can’t complain about your gullyhole being plastered on text messages. Sad but true. Besides, don’t women have their goods almost hanging out half the time any-damn-way? Geez, how dumb.
That is all I got for now. I may be back up tomorrow with another short update. All depends. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
Until then, here are some of…
Chachi’s Random Thoughts!
Random Thought #1: Sake Is Damn Good
I said it once to my boss outside Mile High Saloon (Copper…how awkward was that?) and I stand by this statement: the only thing that keeps me from being an alcoholic is the cost. That and the total lack of knowledge on how to make my own, of course. However, if I could make my own alcohol it woud have to be sake. That shit is fucking awesome and with sushi it is even better. Oh, and as the Hoag learned you better be able to put it down when you hang with me because sake and I go together like…well…schoolgirls and I:
Before you complain, two of them are 18. Two of them….aren’t. That is the fun of Korea: that shit don’t matter!
Random Thought #2: Hillary Should Stop
If Hillary loses North Carolina (Which all signs point to) and loses or barely wins Indiana (Which all signs also point to, as well) she needs to drop out. Seriously, you are fucking the Democratic Party up worse than Ronald Reagan could have ever dreamed. I swear if you sue to get Florida & Michigan votes in after deciding eaerlier the votes wouldn’t count you will destroy (Repeat: DESTROY) the democratic party. No more than Howard Dean did, but still. BYAAAAAAAH!
Random Thought #3: Hockey Is Still ON?
I really want to like hockey. I mean I really do. I know that Canadians are the only ones that are playing it and that it comes on a network I didn’t even know I had until Saturday but I mean at least TRY to get the attention of people. I mean, I know the Stanley Cup is going to be on SOMEWHERE but can anyone tell me where? As the only person in Colorado that could give two shits about the Colorado Avalanche it makes it hard to watch hockey because people are always drunk when hockey is on. I guess it helps slow the game down for the bros and when they say “man down on the ice” it also means bending your bro over the Nati Ice keg. Fuck you, that was funny. Oh, and I am really looking forward to a Penguins/Red Wings Stanley Cup. That actually might make me find the game on TV for once.
Random Thought #4: Midgets Piss Me Off
They just do. Creepy little fuckers.
Random Thought #5: You Know, If You Don’t Want Your Cootch To Be Seen In Public…Wear Underwear.
I have only mentioned this once on the blog but it bear repeating after someone had the never to defend the stance of celebs not wearing underwear. If you know you are being photographed at all times, wouldn’t you take safeguards to make sure that you are covered and things you don’t want seen? So with that being said, if you don’t want your naughty bits to be seen on TMZ or Egotastic then just cover them up? Is it really that hard? Are panties and bras that confining that you must toss them aside at the risk of having your naughty bits exposed? This doesn’t only go for celebs, this goes for random women, too. Life is life, ladies. There are people that are going to take pictures of your goodies if you let the flash in public just like women will marry a man for money just to divorce him and get half. It is a fact of life and all you can really do is protect yourself against it. You can thumb your nose to logic and go for the comfort of no drawls but when you do, you can’t complain about your gullyhole being plastered on text messages. Sad but true. Besides, don’t women have their goods almost hanging out half the time any-damn-way? Geez, how dumb.
That is all I got for now. I may be back up tomorrow with another short update. All depends. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Why Parent When You Can Complain?
So GTA IV has officially created a paradigm shift in the way games will be made from this point on. I knew it wouldn’t take long for someone to get sand in their vagina about the content in the game. Hell, I am shocked it took this long. It is a fucking GAME and you can hail a taxi if you want so it is about personal choice just like REAL LIFE. And of course CNN decided to stop lying about the possiblity of Hillary winning the Democratic election without suing the party:
You know, I am not a parent and really dont want to be as of yet but I really think that parents have bigger things to do than worry about the violence in a videogame. Is it STILL 1994? Find something else to bitch about. If video game is going to cause a kid to do something stupid then that kid is stupid anyway and the fact they end up killing themselves is a little something we smart people call...
THINNING THE FUCKING HERD.
Being impressionable aside, kids are not morons (Or are they?) and should figure out the difference between reality and a fucking video game where an Uzi is only $1200. A leather jacket for $26?! Sign me up! Although this game is grounded in reality, video game fans themselves are also grounded in reality. We know that Grand Theft Auto...in its title...IS A FUCKING CRIME AND SHOULDNT BE DONE. If you don’t have the time or have the fucking balls to tell your kids not to do what they see in video games or better yet MONITOR WHAT THE FUCK THEY PLAY AND WHO THEY PLAY WITH then you shouldn’t have had kids. I am NOT backing down on this and if you don’t like it you should have kept your legs closed or your cock in your pants. Part of parenting is actually making sure your kids are doing the right thing, not making everyone else do the right thing for your kids because the right thing for you is odds are not the right thing for someone else. I personally like beating a hooker to get back my money. It's MINE!
The simple fact is the game costs fucking $60 to buy no matter what the system and if you are giving your kid $60 without asking where it is going you are a shitty fucking parent and need to be shot in the face so you cannot make any more kids because the more kids you have the more you will complain and the less I will be able to play game where I can shoot down police helicopters with a rocket launcher. I LIKE shooting down police helicopters in video games because I can’t do it in real life! That and it gets you hella style points. It is your prerogative as a parent if you don’t want your kids to play it. Make sure they play games only you think are appropriate and go from there. Do NOT push your shitty agendas by trying to ban these games or forced to be damn near inaccessible (Which is what giving an AO/Adults Only rating does) to those of us who play the game and KNOW it is a game because our parents raised us with some god damn sense. I don’t care what you THINK you are doing to help; you are actually hurting kids by forcing censorship and officially pissing on the Constitution. Now our President can piss on the Constitution all he wants but you are NOT the president and I am sure he is all for shooting Russians in the head.
Don’t be fucking police officer, be a parent. Learn to do THAT correctly first then try to fuck with my video games. School shootings weren’t caused by video games, they were caused by disturbed people with parents that didn’t do their jobs. Giving a child a nice house with all they want isn’t parenting; BREAKING YOUR FOOT OFF IN THEIR ASS FOR BEING STUPID IS PARENTING! Maybe I come from a mentality that endorses bust a kid in their grill for fucking up but maybe people need to bust their kid in the fucking mouth for playing video games they shouldn’t and for being little shits in general?
Beat that kid like a prostitute!
In all seriousness, I have ranted about this before and I will continue to defend video games because I grew up with a true LACK of violent video games until I was 16 or so. My parents said no and I respected that. I also respected catching an uppercut to the gut so I didn’t test that shit. It is not that hard to make sure your kids aren’t watching or doing what you think is inappropriate and even then if they are taught what is what and right & wrong they can get by even if they have to be exposed to the things you aren’t comfortable with. Parenting is a novel concept…you should fucking try it. Oh, and try breaking your foot off in your kids ass every now and then. Worked for the Jacksons.
I am out. If I hear any other group pissing about GTA IV and its content even though it is clearly marked as adult and has a felony in its title….I will kick your fucking turtle into a giant walking mushroom. I am so BAKED right now.
Chachi Out.
You know, I am not a parent and really dont want to be as of yet but I really think that parents have bigger things to do than worry about the violence in a videogame. Is it STILL 1994? Find something else to bitch about. If video game is going to cause a kid to do something stupid then that kid is stupid anyway and the fact they end up killing themselves is a little something we smart people call...
THINNING THE FUCKING HERD.
Being impressionable aside, kids are not morons (Or are they?) and should figure out the difference between reality and a fucking video game where an Uzi is only $1200. A leather jacket for $26?! Sign me up! Although this game is grounded in reality, video game fans themselves are also grounded in reality. We know that Grand Theft Auto...in its title...IS A FUCKING CRIME AND SHOULDNT BE DONE. If you don’t have the time or have the fucking balls to tell your kids not to do what they see in video games or better yet MONITOR WHAT THE FUCK THEY PLAY AND WHO THEY PLAY WITH then you shouldn’t have had kids. I am NOT backing down on this and if you don’t like it you should have kept your legs closed or your cock in your pants. Part of parenting is actually making sure your kids are doing the right thing, not making everyone else do the right thing for your kids because the right thing for you is odds are not the right thing for someone else. I personally like beating a hooker to get back my money. It's MINE!
The simple fact is the game costs fucking $60 to buy no matter what the system and if you are giving your kid $60 without asking where it is going you are a shitty fucking parent and need to be shot in the face so you cannot make any more kids because the more kids you have the more you will complain and the less I will be able to play game where I can shoot down police helicopters with a rocket launcher. I LIKE shooting down police helicopters in video games because I can’t do it in real life! That and it gets you hella style points. It is your prerogative as a parent if you don’t want your kids to play it. Make sure they play games only you think are appropriate and go from there. Do NOT push your shitty agendas by trying to ban these games or forced to be damn near inaccessible (Which is what giving an AO/Adults Only rating does) to those of us who play the game and KNOW it is a game because our parents raised us with some god damn sense. I don’t care what you THINK you are doing to help; you are actually hurting kids by forcing censorship and officially pissing on the Constitution. Now our President can piss on the Constitution all he wants but you are NOT the president and I am sure he is all for shooting Russians in the head.
Don’t be fucking police officer, be a parent. Learn to do THAT correctly first then try to fuck with my video games. School shootings weren’t caused by video games, they were caused by disturbed people with parents that didn’t do their jobs. Giving a child a nice house with all they want isn’t parenting; BREAKING YOUR FOOT OFF IN THEIR ASS FOR BEING STUPID IS PARENTING! Maybe I come from a mentality that endorses bust a kid in their grill for fucking up but maybe people need to bust their kid in the fucking mouth for playing video games they shouldn’t and for being little shits in general?
Beat that kid like a prostitute!
In all seriousness, I have ranted about this before and I will continue to defend video games because I grew up with a true LACK of violent video games until I was 16 or so. My parents said no and I respected that. I also respected catching an uppercut to the gut so I didn’t test that shit. It is not that hard to make sure your kids aren’t watching or doing what you think is inappropriate and even then if they are taught what is what and right & wrong they can get by even if they have to be exposed to the things you aren’t comfortable with. Parenting is a novel concept…you should fucking try it. Oh, and try breaking your foot off in your kids ass every now and then. Worked for the Jacksons.
I am out. If I hear any other group pissing about GTA IV and its content even though it is clearly marked as adult and has a felony in its title….I will kick your fucking turtle into a giant walking mushroom. I am so BAKED right now.
Chachi Out.
Do You Even Have To Ask? GO SEE IRON MAN!
What is up, motherbitches?! I am back on the scene and you know what is coming next! A tiny little independent film came out on Friday…you might have heard of it. So of course, since I am a fan of the smaller, less promoted films I had to review it for the peeps. Who the fuck am I kidding, FUCKING IRON MAN ROCKED MY FACE!! So it is time for the inevitable…
Master Chief Captain Chachi Goes Hollywood: Summer Blockbuster Edition #1!!
This Week: Iron Man!
Okay….in case you haven’t heard I loved this movie. So let’s just get into the CONS of this movie first.
CONS:
A Little Too Much Iron Man: And when I say a little, I mean A LITTLE. I really figured this movie would be all about the suit because Tony Stark is nowhere near as deep a character as Bruce Wayne, Peter Parker or even Bruce Banner. However, after about an hour of seeing Robert Downy Jr. as Tony Stark I was completely impressed with his performance with kind of a one (maybe two when you add in his recent storylines as Director of Shield. SPOILER ALERT!!) dimensional character. He gave a great and likeable feel to a guy that I always felt was a douche no matter how heroic he was. With that being said, there wasn’t enough Tony behind the Iron Man armor. A lot of this has to do with the supposed sequel and the fleshing out of his and Rhodey’s characters but still, I felt having a tad bit more Tony would have added some more Peter Parker element to the film. Just nit-picking, but I have to pick on SOMETHING.
No Mandarin: Again, nitpicking but I really felt that this movie could have been really aided by a second villain or at least have The Mandarin be the terrorist that Stain was working with. Although the “Ten Rings” reference could be a dead giveaway (SPOILER ALERT!) to his reference, a more obvious nod would have gotten a bigger nerdgasm (I am so coining that) than the secret ending…which was fucking bad ass.
That is it. Those are the only two things I can even FIND wrong with the film and to the casual movie-goer they wouldn’t even care. This movie had so many pros I would have a Omnibus length rant but I will pick a few.
Pros:
It Is About Time: So when I found out that Iron Man was over two hours I was beginning to think that maybe that wasn’t going to be enough time to flesh everything out that is needed to get people excited about the character. The dude next to me (Who marked out with me during the Afghanistan sequence much to the annoyance of his girlfriend. I’m a homewrecker) pointed out that that may end up being TOO long because there wasn’t a lot about Tony Stark to build on. We both ended up being DEAD WRONG. Two hours and six minutes was more than enough time to actually build on ALL CHARACTERS, including Rhodey (Terrance Howard’s character) and his relationship with Tony. The beginning told the story of Tony Stark AND gave a character diagnostic in 11 minutes. I counted. It took one hour and three minutes to give one about Bruce Wayne. Now that is not a knock on Batman Begins because Bruce Wayne may be the deepest character in comic book mythos and that time STILL didn’t cover it all. However, Iron Man had the best combination of storytelling, character development, plot development and action since The Empire Strikes Back. Yes, it was that fucking impeccable. Now keep in mind that I didn’t need much because I was already familiar with the story of Iron Man but even people that weren’t even said that this was well put together and didn’t know Iron Man from Namor. Props to anyone that knows who Namor is. Restecpa.
Metal Madness!: Okay, no suit will ever top the Batman suit in Batman Begins. Let’s get that clear right here and now. However….the Iron Man armor was more impressive than all the Transformers combined sans Optimus Prime. Now hear me out. Despite the mythical (Thor), scientifically improbable (X-Men, Spiderman, The Hulk) and the just plain dumb as shit (Ghost Rider, Elektra, Daredevil) aspects of the Marvel Universe, Iron man is the only character aside from Captain America that in its essence is grounded in reality. The armor itself is supposed to be plausible and realistic in its use. You know what? The armor looked, functioned and was even PRESENTED in a way that if you saw the armor in real life you would expect it to fly away. It was that awesome. I have never been more impressed with a CGI sequence than when Iron Monger and Iron Man faced off. Yes it was short, but you would expect a fight with two humans in exo-suits to be short. From its Mark 1 form in the cave to the Mark 3 form racing against Air Force jets, if you weren’t impressed by the spectacle that is the Iron Man armor then you SUCK ASS, EVILDOER. From the repulsor cannons to the flying scenes (Which put Superman Returns to shame) the suit was believable and made 50% of the film.
The Man Behind The Mask…Was HAWT: The other 50% was the acting. Now acting in comic book movies isn’t its strongest point and I will admit that as a HUGE comic book movie fan. Aside from Batman Begins (IMHO one of the best movies ever acted PERIOD) and X-Men 2 (Which shocked the HELL out of me with great performances abound) most comic book movies are plagued with some sort of overacting, under acting or poor casting choices. Not here. This movie….for what it is about and worth in terms of the characters themselves….was better acted than Batman Begins.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT……WAIT!
Now I will take this debate on later but Iron Man was NOT better than Batman Begins. However, the characters themselves are nowhere as deep as the characters in the Batman world. Therefore, the bar is lower for Iron Man than Batman. In Batman the actors exceeded the expectations but nowhere NEAR the level that the cast did for Iron Man. Tony Stark IS Robert Downey Jr. and he channeled the ghost of Billy Bob Thorton (He is dead, right?)and pretty much acted like himself in a role made for him. From the playboy attitude to the conflicted scientist and machinist (Don’t forget, he is up there with Reed Richards and Victor Von Doom in terms of the smartest characters in the Marvel Universe) to reluctant hero. Jeff Bridges was AWESOME as Obadiah Stane. It was like the dude went evil and it was AWESOME. Terrance Howard, although the screen time wasn’t high, set up a perfect foundation for the growth of Rhodey in the sequel. Hell, even Gwyneth Paltrow was great as Pepper Potts, the throwback to the old school assistant before women’s lib but with a “woman power” spin tossed in for the ladies that would bitch about it. There wasn’t a weak link in the cast, just like Batman Begins. However, no one EXPECTED great performances so in the end, Iron Man exceed the expectations MORE than Batman Begins did. But the question is…did it pass that bar? Well here is my final grade…
10 Out Of 10 Stars!
(Now I personally believe that The Dark Knight is going to blow Iron Man out of the water in terms of quality and performance. But for enjoyment I don’t think there will be a better movie this summer. I haven’t ENJOYED an action movie like this since….Indiana Jones & The Temple of Doom. SERIOUSLY, it was that good. The acting was great, the story was well placed & paced and the suit is something to behold. AND STAY FOR THE ENDING!!!)
Wow….I am serious, GO SEE THIS FILM! So with that being said, I said I was going to address the Batman Begins/Iron Man controversy and I will do that now. Well, it is time get your passes and hop on the bus! So, as promised LAST WEEK I give to you…
Passion of Chachi Omnibus: Summer Spectacular Preview Edition!
Summer camp time! Kiss your parents goodbye and hop on the omnibus!!
Question #1: So….ARE FUCKING CRAZY? YOU BELIEVE IRON MAN WAS BETTER THAN BATMAN BEGINS?!
Whoa…let me clear this up right now. If the question is “Is Iron Man Better Than Batman Begins” the answer is…..
NO…BUT BARELY.
Iron Man exceeded my expectations and from my small survey at the theater it exceeded casual fans and hardcore Marvel fans expectations alike. I never believed that Tobey McGuire was Peter Parker OR Spiderman. I never believed Brandon Roth was Clark Kent (He had the look of Superman down, though. When I looked into his eyes…I heard Firehouse:
POWER BALLADS, BITCHES! I’m from the suburbs…I can’t help it. Hugh Jackman changed my mind but I never saw him as Wolverine initially either. However, I could see Christian Bale as Bruce Wayne. Batman was questionable at first but he really grew into that role as the movie went on. Robert Downey Jr. IS TONY STARK AND IS IRON MAN. Hell, look at his character in the Ultimates:
RDJ’s performance was PERFECT. The action was right in line with how an Iron Man comic battle would translate onto the big screen. All the characters were portrayed perfectly and the plot was excellent. The EXACT SAME as Batman Begins. Both films were saving for their sequel so they didn’t do or say TOO MUCH past what they had to for the initial film. The villain was goes to Batman hands down, not just because of Liam Neeson’s performance but because Iron Man has totally lame villains. Jeff Bridges did a great job, though. The secondary characters performances has to go to Batman Begins. Morgan Freeman, Michael Kaine, Gary Oldman and even Cillian Murphy had EXCELLENT performances. As did Terrance Howard & Gwyneth but the caliber of Batman Begins cast wins in sheer numbers and sheer talent.
The action goes to Iron Man hands down. The action sequences (Albeit surprisingly few) were better than almost all comic book movies (ESPECIALLY Spiderman 2 & Spiderman 3) and if it wasn’t for the Batmobile & ending sequence in Batman Begins, it wouldn’t even be CLOSE. Iron Man also pulls out a win in a very surprising are: plot. I fought over this one but Iron man’s plot is completely plausible and fit better with the movie and the characters themselves (Stain is a cockfuck in the comic and actually pulled some shit like this). Batman Begins had a great plot but it just kind of…happened. He gets locked in a prison and all of a sudden is in a cult. Now this actually happened (Kind of) in the comic but it isn’t truly a BATMAN story. It was a MOVIE story. Iron Man took a comic book story and made it a great movie. Only X-Men 2 did that and didn’t do it as well as Iron Man.
That leaves only ONE THING to break the tie: the characters themselves. At the end of the day, Batman is a better CHARACTER than Iron Man. Bruce Wayne is a better CHARACTER than Tony Stark. There is more acting and work involved in making a great story/movie for Bruce Wayne/Batman than there is for making a great story for Tony Stark/Iron Man. There is more to Bruce Wayne than I personally believe any writer has touched on from his relationships to his wards/Robin’s to his dealing with his parents deaths to believe is he really Bruce Wayne anymore? Tony Stark is a man that drank to deal with the pain of his heart condition (little known fact!) and puts on a suit of iron to fight evil. Now I personally believe that the latest Tony Stark (Especially the Ultimates version) is up to par with the Bruce Wayne/Batman over the last 3 years. That is mostly because of the Infinite Crisis/Countdown/52/Trinity plots they have had over the last three years which has really streamlined his character while Tony has been fleshed out as someone that feels like the world is on his shoulders as arguably the smartest and strongest human in a world of cosmic beings, mutants and mythical gods. Batman USED to be like that as anyone that read the JLA “Tower of Babel” Arc will tell you.
So in the end, Batman Begins still holds it’s title of “Best Comic Book Movie….EVER” and even holds up to the “One of the Top Ten Movies of All Time” title. However….Iron Man is really close. REAL CLOSE.
Keep them arms inside the window, a kid lost his once! We are rolling on!
Question #2: Do You Think Gaming Is Too Expensive?
This one is big as for the first time since 2002 I believe, we will have major releases in the summer as WELL as the holiday season. Which means that getting a summer job will actually be relevant. Well, the easy answer is no. WHAT?! I know a lot of your heads are exploding but think about this logically. When the Nintendo and Sega Master System (Which I call “First Generation Consoles) were released, they were both $199.99 and up depending on where you were. The Sega Genesis and Super Nintendo (Second Generation) were both $299.99 and up depending on location. The PlayStation, Sega Saturn and Nintendo 64 (Third Generation) were all released with a price tag of $399.99 or higher. To give an idea, the Xbox 360 was released with a cost of $399.99 which for all intents and purposes is a very standard price as consoles go with inflation and whatnot. The PlayStation 3 was $499 but with a Blu-Ray DVD player it was more than worth it seeing as at the time the players were in upwards of $1000. Let’s not forget the Atari Jaguar and the almighty 3DO which clocked in at $699.99:
Look at those graphics….well worth every penny. Games for older systems averaged around the same prices they do now (People complain about paying $59.99 for a game NOW but remember Virtua Racing? Nuff said) and perphirals are no longer needed with the advent of hard drives and OS’s backboning the consoles allowing for emulators and even legal downloading of games (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….fuck that shit). So up front, gaming now isn’t only even, it’s a hell of a lot cheaper.
However, there are several hidden costs now that didn’t exist previously. You want to pay online? You have to pay for that service. I personally believe that it should be part of your internet service but that is just me. You want to download updates? Better get you some player points! You want to play Halo in HD? Better spend about a thousand dollars on a new TV. Add in cables and sound equipment (Because nothing is better than going to Iraq….except playing a video game where the sound will let you live it. USA! USA!) and the cost skyrockets. Don’t even get me started on all of the Wii peripherals you have to buy (Wii-heel, Wii-Gun, Wii-Chuku, Wii-Crow Bar for GTA IV, etc.) and you are looking at a hella pricey experience just to play some fucking BioShock or Heavenly Sword. The costs of BUYING games is about the same or at least comparable to the inflation over time. However, with the digital changeover next year and companies taking your cash over the interweb, the cost has grown significantly.
Big wheels keep on turning! Omnibus, keep on burning!
Question #3: Dude….Why Aren’t You Ripping On Women Anymore?
This is actually a question I have received from a few people lately and the answer is simple: I had other shit to rant about. If I have learned anything in my twenty-seven years on this Earth, it is that women couldn’t give a fuck about what you think about their actions or views no matter how stupid they are. Now I am not always right. As a matter of fact, I would put my being correct at about an 87% clip. That is still a high B in terms of a grade but that means that I am still wrong 13% of the time which is a lot. Since women focus on that 13%, which is usually irrelevant to the discussion we are having in the first place, I have found that actually reasoning with the majority of women (Majority is 51% ladies so shut up about generalization. The women do that shit all the time about EVERYTHING with no research or logic/facts to back it up about men so fuck off) is as about as effective as reasoning with Pikachu. No, at least Pikachu can dance effectively to happy hardcore:
Women that aren’t named Min, Ciara or NaNa can’t dance at all. I may not be the next Bi, but at least I know that and don’t consider stealing from strippers dancing. I mean, they already don’t have souls, now you have to steal their dances?! Horrible people. Either way, I stopped caring and they never did because at the end of the day they do what they want to. More power to them, wish I could be that stupid and get away with it.
Enough with that. Women get on the back of the bus anyway, just like Blacks used to! We are off to our next stop!
Question #4: Hey, Man! Why Aren’t You Hating On Rappers Anymore, Son?
Well….I just stopped caring. As one who refuses to buy ringtones I really don’t listen to rap anymore for the most part. Why do I say that? Because all rap songs have become ringtones. Now people want to say all the time that it is about the money and that is fine. No problem there, I am all for ballin. However, do NOT call yourself a rapper. “Umma Do Me” has no redeeming quality whatsoever. Now I don’t want all rap songs to be “The Message” like Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five but at least try. I mean come one. If “Sexy Can I” is the best set of song lyrics you can think of then by all means I understand. You suck and you are doing your best. It’s all Jesus asks of you. My problem is that they want to be taken seriously as LYRICISTS and ARTISTS. I am sorry, but if that is the pinnacle of your talent as a singer then you will never be up there with the Marvin Gaye’s and Otis Redding’s of the R&B world. Hell, you aren’t even in the Keith Sweat or Al B. Sure! section of R&B. Play your position. I don’t wear skinny people clothes; shitty rappers and R&B singers shouldn’t want to be thought of anymore than average. Where is Marvin Gaye’s dad when you need him to kill Ray J? It’s why niggas don’t get anywhere. They don’t appreciate shit. My hope is that all the shitty rappers go to the Source Awards (Does that even exist anymore?) and someone launches a terrorist attack and blows up the building. Yes….I went there.
We have come to the final stop of the Omnibus! Make sure you have your bags!
Question #5: You Saw Iron Man And Liked It, What Will You Think Of “Made Of Honor?”
I didn’t watch it and don’t plan to see it in the theater unless I get totally drunk off my ass and decide I want to sit through something like that. However…the premise seems like something that would happen to me. However, I don’t have any female friends that I want to woo (What the fuck does that really mean? When I think woo, I think Ric Flair):
WHOOOOO!!! But all kidding aside, I may watch that movie. Looks like something I may buy from Entertainmart at some point or may walk into before Speed Racer (Which I have to see because Bi is in it. As president of the Colorado chapter of the Bi Fan Club, I must attend!) or some summer movie I am not excited about but need to review for the peeps. It doesn’t look BAD and the overall plot seems funny but at the same time I wouldn’t do something like that ANYWAY because if a woman ever asked me to do that I would give her one of these:
BRAINBUSTAHHHHHHH! Man….that is just TITS. So I may watch “Made of Honor” because it doesn’t look BAD as much as shouldn’t be out in the summer with Iron Man.
Well the bus has stopped for this trip. Be sure to hop on for the next Omnibus and if you have any questions you want answered just leave them in a comment or something. If I get enough, I will just add a post where I answer questions like I used to. I will try to be back up at some point this week. Until then, you all stay up.
Chachi Out!
Master Chief Captain Chachi Goes Hollywood: Summer Blockbuster Edition #1!!
This Week: Iron Man!
Okay….in case you haven’t heard I loved this movie. So let’s just get into the CONS of this movie first.
CONS:
A Little Too Much Iron Man: And when I say a little, I mean A LITTLE. I really figured this movie would be all about the suit because Tony Stark is nowhere near as deep a character as Bruce Wayne, Peter Parker or even Bruce Banner. However, after about an hour of seeing Robert Downy Jr. as Tony Stark I was completely impressed with his performance with kind of a one (maybe two when you add in his recent storylines as Director of Shield. SPOILER ALERT!!) dimensional character. He gave a great and likeable feel to a guy that I always felt was a douche no matter how heroic he was. With that being said, there wasn’t enough Tony behind the Iron Man armor. A lot of this has to do with the supposed sequel and the fleshing out of his and Rhodey’s characters but still, I felt having a tad bit more Tony would have added some more Peter Parker element to the film. Just nit-picking, but I have to pick on SOMETHING.
No Mandarin: Again, nitpicking but I really felt that this movie could have been really aided by a second villain or at least have The Mandarin be the terrorist that Stain was working with. Although the “Ten Rings” reference could be a dead giveaway (SPOILER ALERT!) to his reference, a more obvious nod would have gotten a bigger nerdgasm (I am so coining that) than the secret ending…which was fucking bad ass.
That is it. Those are the only two things I can even FIND wrong with the film and to the casual movie-goer they wouldn’t even care. This movie had so many pros I would have a Omnibus length rant but I will pick a few.
Pros:
It Is About Time: So when I found out that Iron Man was over two hours I was beginning to think that maybe that wasn’t going to be enough time to flesh everything out that is needed to get people excited about the character. The dude next to me (Who marked out with me during the Afghanistan sequence much to the annoyance of his girlfriend. I’m a homewrecker) pointed out that that may end up being TOO long because there wasn’t a lot about Tony Stark to build on. We both ended up being DEAD WRONG. Two hours and six minutes was more than enough time to actually build on ALL CHARACTERS, including Rhodey (Terrance Howard’s character) and his relationship with Tony. The beginning told the story of Tony Stark AND gave a character diagnostic in 11 minutes. I counted. It took one hour and three minutes to give one about Bruce Wayne. Now that is not a knock on Batman Begins because Bruce Wayne may be the deepest character in comic book mythos and that time STILL didn’t cover it all. However, Iron Man had the best combination of storytelling, character development, plot development and action since The Empire Strikes Back. Yes, it was that fucking impeccable. Now keep in mind that I didn’t need much because I was already familiar with the story of Iron Man but even people that weren’t even said that this was well put together and didn’t know Iron Man from Namor. Props to anyone that knows who Namor is. Restecpa.
Metal Madness!: Okay, no suit will ever top the Batman suit in Batman Begins. Let’s get that clear right here and now. However….the Iron Man armor was more impressive than all the Transformers combined sans Optimus Prime. Now hear me out. Despite the mythical (Thor), scientifically improbable (X-Men, Spiderman, The Hulk) and the just plain dumb as shit (Ghost Rider, Elektra, Daredevil) aspects of the Marvel Universe, Iron man is the only character aside from Captain America that in its essence is grounded in reality. The armor itself is supposed to be plausible and realistic in its use. You know what? The armor looked, functioned and was even PRESENTED in a way that if you saw the armor in real life you would expect it to fly away. It was that awesome. I have never been more impressed with a CGI sequence than when Iron Monger and Iron Man faced off. Yes it was short, but you would expect a fight with two humans in exo-suits to be short. From its Mark 1 form in the cave to the Mark 3 form racing against Air Force jets, if you weren’t impressed by the spectacle that is the Iron Man armor then you SUCK ASS, EVILDOER. From the repulsor cannons to the flying scenes (Which put Superman Returns to shame) the suit was believable and made 50% of the film.
The Man Behind The Mask…Was HAWT: The other 50% was the acting. Now acting in comic book movies isn’t its strongest point and I will admit that as a HUGE comic book movie fan. Aside from Batman Begins (IMHO one of the best movies ever acted PERIOD) and X-Men 2 (Which shocked the HELL out of me with great performances abound) most comic book movies are plagued with some sort of overacting, under acting or poor casting choices. Not here. This movie….for what it is about and worth in terms of the characters themselves….was better acted than Batman Begins.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT……WAIT!
Now I will take this debate on later but Iron Man was NOT better than Batman Begins. However, the characters themselves are nowhere as deep as the characters in the Batman world. Therefore, the bar is lower for Iron Man than Batman. In Batman the actors exceeded the expectations but nowhere NEAR the level that the cast did for Iron Man. Tony Stark IS Robert Downey Jr. and he channeled the ghost of Billy Bob Thorton (He is dead, right?)and pretty much acted like himself in a role made for him. From the playboy attitude to the conflicted scientist and machinist (Don’t forget, he is up there with Reed Richards and Victor Von Doom in terms of the smartest characters in the Marvel Universe) to reluctant hero. Jeff Bridges was AWESOME as Obadiah Stane. It was like the dude went evil and it was AWESOME. Terrance Howard, although the screen time wasn’t high, set up a perfect foundation for the growth of Rhodey in the sequel. Hell, even Gwyneth Paltrow was great as Pepper Potts, the throwback to the old school assistant before women’s lib but with a “woman power” spin tossed in for the ladies that would bitch about it. There wasn’t a weak link in the cast, just like Batman Begins. However, no one EXPECTED great performances so in the end, Iron Man exceed the expectations MORE than Batman Begins did. But the question is…did it pass that bar? Well here is my final grade…
10 Out Of 10 Stars!
(Now I personally believe that The Dark Knight is going to blow Iron Man out of the water in terms of quality and performance. But for enjoyment I don’t think there will be a better movie this summer. I haven’t ENJOYED an action movie like this since….Indiana Jones & The Temple of Doom. SERIOUSLY, it was that good. The acting was great, the story was well placed & paced and the suit is something to behold. AND STAY FOR THE ENDING!!!)
Wow….I am serious, GO SEE THIS FILM! So with that being said, I said I was going to address the Batman Begins/Iron Man controversy and I will do that now. Well, it is time get your passes and hop on the bus! So, as promised LAST WEEK I give to you…
Passion of Chachi Omnibus: Summer Spectacular Preview Edition!
Summer camp time! Kiss your parents goodbye and hop on the omnibus!!
Question #1: So….ARE FUCKING CRAZY? YOU BELIEVE IRON MAN WAS BETTER THAN BATMAN BEGINS?!
Whoa…let me clear this up right now. If the question is “Is Iron Man Better Than Batman Begins” the answer is…..
NO…BUT BARELY.
Iron Man exceeded my expectations and from my small survey at the theater it exceeded casual fans and hardcore Marvel fans expectations alike. I never believed that Tobey McGuire was Peter Parker OR Spiderman. I never believed Brandon Roth was Clark Kent (He had the look of Superman down, though. When I looked into his eyes…I heard Firehouse:
POWER BALLADS, BITCHES! I’m from the suburbs…I can’t help it. Hugh Jackman changed my mind but I never saw him as Wolverine initially either. However, I could see Christian Bale as Bruce Wayne. Batman was questionable at first but he really grew into that role as the movie went on. Robert Downey Jr. IS TONY STARK AND IS IRON MAN. Hell, look at his character in the Ultimates:
RDJ’s performance was PERFECT. The action was right in line with how an Iron Man comic battle would translate onto the big screen. All the characters were portrayed perfectly and the plot was excellent. The EXACT SAME as Batman Begins. Both films were saving for their sequel so they didn’t do or say TOO MUCH past what they had to for the initial film. The villain was goes to Batman hands down, not just because of Liam Neeson’s performance but because Iron Man has totally lame villains. Jeff Bridges did a great job, though. The secondary characters performances has to go to Batman Begins. Morgan Freeman, Michael Kaine, Gary Oldman and even Cillian Murphy had EXCELLENT performances. As did Terrance Howard & Gwyneth but the caliber of Batman Begins cast wins in sheer numbers and sheer talent.
The action goes to Iron Man hands down. The action sequences (Albeit surprisingly few) were better than almost all comic book movies (ESPECIALLY Spiderman 2 & Spiderman 3) and if it wasn’t for the Batmobile & ending sequence in Batman Begins, it wouldn’t even be CLOSE. Iron Man also pulls out a win in a very surprising are: plot. I fought over this one but Iron man’s plot is completely plausible and fit better with the movie and the characters themselves (Stain is a cockfuck in the comic and actually pulled some shit like this). Batman Begins had a great plot but it just kind of…happened. He gets locked in a prison and all of a sudden is in a cult. Now this actually happened (Kind of) in the comic but it isn’t truly a BATMAN story. It was a MOVIE story. Iron Man took a comic book story and made it a great movie. Only X-Men 2 did that and didn’t do it as well as Iron Man.
That leaves only ONE THING to break the tie: the characters themselves. At the end of the day, Batman is a better CHARACTER than Iron Man. Bruce Wayne is a better CHARACTER than Tony Stark. There is more acting and work involved in making a great story/movie for Bruce Wayne/Batman than there is for making a great story for Tony Stark/Iron Man. There is more to Bruce Wayne than I personally believe any writer has touched on from his relationships to his wards/Robin’s to his dealing with his parents deaths to believe is he really Bruce Wayne anymore? Tony Stark is a man that drank to deal with the pain of his heart condition (little known fact!) and puts on a suit of iron to fight evil. Now I personally believe that the latest Tony Stark (Especially the Ultimates version) is up to par with the Bruce Wayne/Batman over the last 3 years. That is mostly because of the Infinite Crisis/Countdown/52/Trinity plots they have had over the last three years which has really streamlined his character while Tony has been fleshed out as someone that feels like the world is on his shoulders as arguably the smartest and strongest human in a world of cosmic beings, mutants and mythical gods. Batman USED to be like that as anyone that read the JLA “Tower of Babel” Arc will tell you.
So in the end, Batman Begins still holds it’s title of “Best Comic Book Movie….EVER” and even holds up to the “One of the Top Ten Movies of All Time” title. However….Iron Man is really close. REAL CLOSE.
Keep them arms inside the window, a kid lost his once! We are rolling on!
Question #2: Do You Think Gaming Is Too Expensive?
This one is big as for the first time since 2002 I believe, we will have major releases in the summer as WELL as the holiday season. Which means that getting a summer job will actually be relevant. Well, the easy answer is no. WHAT?! I know a lot of your heads are exploding but think about this logically. When the Nintendo and Sega Master System (Which I call “First Generation Consoles) were released, they were both $199.99 and up depending on where you were. The Sega Genesis and Super Nintendo (Second Generation) were both $299.99 and up depending on location. The PlayStation, Sega Saturn and Nintendo 64 (Third Generation) were all released with a price tag of $399.99 or higher. To give an idea, the Xbox 360 was released with a cost of $399.99 which for all intents and purposes is a very standard price as consoles go with inflation and whatnot. The PlayStation 3 was $499 but with a Blu-Ray DVD player it was more than worth it seeing as at the time the players were in upwards of $1000. Let’s not forget the Atari Jaguar and the almighty 3DO which clocked in at $699.99:
Look at those graphics….well worth every penny. Games for older systems averaged around the same prices they do now (People complain about paying $59.99 for a game NOW but remember Virtua Racing? Nuff said) and perphirals are no longer needed with the advent of hard drives and OS’s backboning the consoles allowing for emulators and even legal downloading of games (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….fuck that shit). So up front, gaming now isn’t only even, it’s a hell of a lot cheaper.
However, there are several hidden costs now that didn’t exist previously. You want to pay online? You have to pay for that service. I personally believe that it should be part of your internet service but that is just me. You want to download updates? Better get you some player points! You want to play Halo in HD? Better spend about a thousand dollars on a new TV. Add in cables and sound equipment (Because nothing is better than going to Iraq….except playing a video game where the sound will let you live it. USA! USA!) and the cost skyrockets. Don’t even get me started on all of the Wii peripherals you have to buy (Wii-heel, Wii-Gun, Wii-Chuku, Wii-Crow Bar for GTA IV, etc.) and you are looking at a hella pricey experience just to play some fucking BioShock or Heavenly Sword. The costs of BUYING games is about the same or at least comparable to the inflation over time. However, with the digital changeover next year and companies taking your cash over the interweb, the cost has grown significantly.
Big wheels keep on turning! Omnibus, keep on burning!
Question #3: Dude….Why Aren’t You Ripping On Women Anymore?
This is actually a question I have received from a few people lately and the answer is simple: I had other shit to rant about. If I have learned anything in my twenty-seven years on this Earth, it is that women couldn’t give a fuck about what you think about their actions or views no matter how stupid they are. Now I am not always right. As a matter of fact, I would put my being correct at about an 87% clip. That is still a high B in terms of a grade but that means that I am still wrong 13% of the time which is a lot. Since women focus on that 13%, which is usually irrelevant to the discussion we are having in the first place, I have found that actually reasoning with the majority of women (Majority is 51% ladies so shut up about generalization. The women do that shit all the time about EVERYTHING with no research or logic/facts to back it up about men so fuck off) is as about as effective as reasoning with Pikachu. No, at least Pikachu can dance effectively to happy hardcore:
Women that aren’t named Min, Ciara or NaNa can’t dance at all. I may not be the next Bi, but at least I know that and don’t consider stealing from strippers dancing. I mean, they already don’t have souls, now you have to steal their dances?! Horrible people. Either way, I stopped caring and they never did because at the end of the day they do what they want to. More power to them, wish I could be that stupid and get away with it.
Enough with that. Women get on the back of the bus anyway, just like Blacks used to! We are off to our next stop!
Question #4: Hey, Man! Why Aren’t You Hating On Rappers Anymore, Son?
Well….I just stopped caring. As one who refuses to buy ringtones I really don’t listen to rap anymore for the most part. Why do I say that? Because all rap songs have become ringtones. Now people want to say all the time that it is about the money and that is fine. No problem there, I am all for ballin. However, do NOT call yourself a rapper. “Umma Do Me” has no redeeming quality whatsoever. Now I don’t want all rap songs to be “The Message” like Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five but at least try. I mean come one. If “Sexy Can I” is the best set of song lyrics you can think of then by all means I understand. You suck and you are doing your best. It’s all Jesus asks of you. My problem is that they want to be taken seriously as LYRICISTS and ARTISTS. I am sorry, but if that is the pinnacle of your talent as a singer then you will never be up there with the Marvin Gaye’s and Otis Redding’s of the R&B world. Hell, you aren’t even in the Keith Sweat or Al B. Sure! section of R&B. Play your position. I don’t wear skinny people clothes; shitty rappers and R&B singers shouldn’t want to be thought of anymore than average. Where is Marvin Gaye’s dad when you need him to kill Ray J? It’s why niggas don’t get anywhere. They don’t appreciate shit. My hope is that all the shitty rappers go to the Source Awards (Does that even exist anymore?) and someone launches a terrorist attack and blows up the building. Yes….I went there.
We have come to the final stop of the Omnibus! Make sure you have your bags!
Question #5: You Saw Iron Man And Liked It, What Will You Think Of “Made Of Honor?”
I didn’t watch it and don’t plan to see it in the theater unless I get totally drunk off my ass and decide I want to sit through something like that. However…the premise seems like something that would happen to me. However, I don’t have any female friends that I want to woo (What the fuck does that really mean? When I think woo, I think Ric Flair):
WHOOOOO!!! But all kidding aside, I may watch that movie. Looks like something I may buy from Entertainmart at some point or may walk into before Speed Racer (Which I have to see because Bi is in it. As president of the Colorado chapter of the Bi Fan Club, I must attend!) or some summer movie I am not excited about but need to review for the peeps. It doesn’t look BAD and the overall plot seems funny but at the same time I wouldn’t do something like that ANYWAY because if a woman ever asked me to do that I would give her one of these:
BRAINBUSTAHHHHHHH! Man….that is just TITS. So I may watch “Made of Honor” because it doesn’t look BAD as much as shouldn’t be out in the summer with Iron Man.
Well the bus has stopped for this trip. Be sure to hop on for the next Omnibus and if you have any questions you want answered just leave them in a comment or something. If I get enough, I will just add a post where I answer questions like I used to. I will try to be back up at some point this week. Until then, you all stay up.
Chachi Out!
Thursday, May 01, 2008
A Change Gon Come...
Hell yes, peeps! There is a change in the air and it is time to get to it! Friday’s here so here comes…
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We begin with a video from a Korean pop trio making their first appearance on the Countdown!
20. YA-KYIM – Super Looper (New Entry)
Okay, YA-KYIM has been a guilty pleasure of mine ever since “Hands Up” and I have to admit that they are better singers than Foxxi MisQ. However…Dem is fucking hawt althi MIKU is damn fine as well. Even still, this song has been stuck in my head for about three or four days which is bad because my limited Korean (Err….none per se) means I have no idea about 75% of the song. Love the simple yet on point dances, too.
19. Hearts Grow - Kasanaru Kage (Last Week #17)
So it looks to be the end of the line for Hearts Grow. Another strong run but at the end, they need to give me some new stuff RIGHT FRICKING NOW. That is all.
18. The Roots feat. Chrisette Michelle & Wale – Rising Up (Last Week #20)
A modest move this week as The Roots new album hits stores this week! Go get it now, it has more of a “Illedelph” feel than their last one. Which is totally a good thing.
17. RBD - Inalcanzable (Last Week #14)
WHERE IN THE HELL IS SOME NEW RBD?! Their album came with little fanfare and they have been quiet ever since! I demand satisfaction!
16. TERIYAKI BOYZ - ZOCK ON! feat. Pharrell and Busta Rhymes - ZOCK ON! (Last Week #16)
The Boyz are hanging on for dear life as they stand pat at number sixteen this week. No word of an album but it looks like Busta has two new videos out. One is meh with Linkin Park but the other is old school Busta craziness. I miss the days of “Gimme Some More” and “Dangerous.”
15. Alicia Keys – Teenage Love Affair (Last Week #19)
The fine Alicia Keys is looking for her third straight number one video and her latest is looking to make it happen! You know what? I always talk about what is RIGHT with Alicia Keys. What about her faults? Well…um…let’s see….her eyes are too symmetrical? Yeah, that’s a fault right?
14. Mihimaru GT – Diverge (Last Week #12)
I just saw the live performance of this song (Also just saw the live of “Giri Giri Ranger”) and Hiroko is just…damn cute. I mean seriously, how can she look like that and not be my baby boo? Le sigh.
13. Colbie Caillat – Realize (Last Week #15)
So Colbie moves up another two spots this week. I am not going to lie to you….I don’t like any of her other songs that I have heard. I hate “Bubbly” but this song makes me feel sad and happy at the same time. I know….I am teh lame.
12. The Roots feat Dice Raw & Peedi Crack – Get Busy (Last Week #10)
So The Roots fall out of the Top 10 after a good but short run. At some point I will review their album “Rising Down” for the peeps to let you know if it is worth the purchase.
11. Kelun – SIXTEEN GIRL (Last Week #13)
Kelun is one spot away from being in the Top 10! With “CHU-BURA” burning up my phone as my ringtone and a rumored album (Hopefully not another mini-album, although “Astral Lamp” was AWESOME for only six songs) coming in late summer I believe that this year may kick ass.
10. Erykah Badu - Honey (Last Week #8)
We begin the Top 10 with the third longest running video on the Countdown in 2008. Although she didn’t hit number one, she had a great run this winter and could be back for more.
9. Toshinobu Kobuta feat. Misia - Flying Easy Loving Crazy (Last Week #11)
Hells yeah. The legend of Japanese R&B (Hell, he was doing Japanese NEW JACK SWING, PEOPLE! PROPER!) has his first ever Top 10! This song is always on in the car (You don’t like it? Kiss my ass) and is well worth the listen. Misia is looking fine as usual and this may be my summer jam. Aside for “Coconut Juice” by Tyga.
8. Yui – Namidairo (Last Week #6)
Yui falls two more spots this week as she continues to have two videos in the Top 10. Could Yui win her second straight Chachi for Artist of the Year? She may just do that as NaNa has disappeared from the scene. However, she will have competition from our next the artists videos.
7. Kanye West feat. Chris Martin – Homecoming (Last Week #9)
Kanye West moves up another two spots as he looks to make it to the top for the third time in a eight month span. This is my second favorite video he has had off of “Graduation” so far and here is hoping to a CRS album at some point in 2008.
6. Bennie K – Monochrome (Last Week #3, Seven Weeks at #1)
After spending almost two months at number one, Bennie K spends only their third week outside of the Top Five. They had been gone for over a year and now they are in line for the video of the year. Not bad, Yuki & Cico. Not bad.
5. Lupe Fiasco feat Nikki Jean – Hip Hop Saved My Life (Last Week #7)
Lupe Fiasco has his second Top Five video of 2008 already! He may just have the best album of 2008 (Although it was released in December, the Chachi Awards cutoff date is December 1st) and also the biggest video of the year in “US Placers” with the rest of the crew. This video is awesome and being in Houston, I am glad the Lil Flip WAS NOT IN THIS VIDEO. I really don’t like him.
4. Yui – Laugh Away (Last Week #2)
Yui fails again?! For the fourth straight time Yui fails to take the top spot after peaking at number two! After two consecutive number one videos Yui has been unable to take back her throne. Will her next eventual video end the streak? We are down to the final three….and two of them are new!
3. L`Arc~en~Ciel – DRINK IT DOWN (Last Week #4)
The Arc is back near the top! After almost a year since “SEVENTH HEAVEN” topped the chart after knocking off UGK & Outkast’s “International Players Anthem”, Hyde and Company are looking to take the throne again! I know I have said this several times but…Hyde’s hair is IMPECCABLE in this video. Pantene Pro V, give this man a commercial!
2. Foxxi MisQ – X.B.F. (Last Week #1, One Week at #1)
After one week at number one, Foxxi MisQ falls one spot after their long trek! Despite falling, they did get their first number one video after two stints in the Top Three so congratulations for that. A new single should be coming soon and could that mean a battle with YA-KYIM? I could only dream! So who has the new number one video?
1. Usher feat. Young Jeezy – Love In This Club (Last Week #5, One Week at #1)
The King Is Back! After only a month on the Countdown, Usher takes his place on top as the King of the Chart! This video is not as great as “Yeah” but at the end of the day…few videos are. This one is still awesome and if they do a video for the remix with T.I. before he goes to prison that would be bad ass. Also…Young Jeezy has rode coattails to his second number one video. Wow…I am shocked, too. Even still, congrats Uer-sher!
That is all for this week! Tune in next week to see if Usher can hold on to the top spot for another week! Or can L`Arc~en~Ciel take the top spot for a second time? Or can Foxxi MisQ or Yui bounce back and take the throne for the ladies? Tune in next week to find out!
So on Friday night…the summer movie season officially begins! Iron Man opens and I will be going in the afternoon to avoid crowds and bros. I will try to have a review up by Saturday night! Until then, stay up peeps!
Chachi Out!
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We begin with a video from a Korean pop trio making their first appearance on the Countdown!
20. YA-KYIM – Super Looper (New Entry)
Okay, YA-KYIM has been a guilty pleasure of mine ever since “Hands Up” and I have to admit that they are better singers than Foxxi MisQ. However…Dem is fucking hawt althi MIKU is damn fine as well. Even still, this song has been stuck in my head for about three or four days which is bad because my limited Korean (Err….none per se) means I have no idea about 75% of the song. Love the simple yet on point dances, too.
19. Hearts Grow - Kasanaru Kage (Last Week #17)
So it looks to be the end of the line for Hearts Grow. Another strong run but at the end, they need to give me some new stuff RIGHT FRICKING NOW. That is all.
18. The Roots feat. Chrisette Michelle & Wale – Rising Up (Last Week #20)
A modest move this week as The Roots new album hits stores this week! Go get it now, it has more of a “Illedelph” feel than their last one. Which is totally a good thing.
17. RBD - Inalcanzable (Last Week #14)
WHERE IN THE HELL IS SOME NEW RBD?! Their album came with little fanfare and they have been quiet ever since! I demand satisfaction!
16. TERIYAKI BOYZ - ZOCK ON! feat. Pharrell and Busta Rhymes - ZOCK ON! (Last Week #16)
The Boyz are hanging on for dear life as they stand pat at number sixteen this week. No word of an album but it looks like Busta has two new videos out. One is meh with Linkin Park but the other is old school Busta craziness. I miss the days of “Gimme Some More” and “Dangerous.”
15. Alicia Keys – Teenage Love Affair (Last Week #19)
The fine Alicia Keys is looking for her third straight number one video and her latest is looking to make it happen! You know what? I always talk about what is RIGHT with Alicia Keys. What about her faults? Well…um…let’s see….her eyes are too symmetrical? Yeah, that’s a fault right?
14. Mihimaru GT – Diverge (Last Week #12)
I just saw the live performance of this song (Also just saw the live of “Giri Giri Ranger”) and Hiroko is just…damn cute. I mean seriously, how can she look like that and not be my baby boo? Le sigh.
13. Colbie Caillat – Realize (Last Week #15)
So Colbie moves up another two spots this week. I am not going to lie to you….I don’t like any of her other songs that I have heard. I hate “Bubbly” but this song makes me feel sad and happy at the same time. I know….I am teh lame.
12. The Roots feat Dice Raw & Peedi Crack – Get Busy (Last Week #10)
So The Roots fall out of the Top 10 after a good but short run. At some point I will review their album “Rising Down” for the peeps to let you know if it is worth the purchase.
11. Kelun – SIXTEEN GIRL (Last Week #13)
Kelun is one spot away from being in the Top 10! With “CHU-BURA” burning up my phone as my ringtone and a rumored album (Hopefully not another mini-album, although “Astral Lamp” was AWESOME for only six songs) coming in late summer I believe that this year may kick ass.
10. Erykah Badu - Honey (Last Week #8)
We begin the Top 10 with the third longest running video on the Countdown in 2008. Although she didn’t hit number one, she had a great run this winter and could be back for more.
9. Toshinobu Kobuta feat. Misia - Flying Easy Loving Crazy (Last Week #11)
Hells yeah. The legend of Japanese R&B (Hell, he was doing Japanese NEW JACK SWING, PEOPLE! PROPER!) has his first ever Top 10! This song is always on in the car (You don’t like it? Kiss my ass) and is well worth the listen. Misia is looking fine as usual and this may be my summer jam. Aside for “Coconut Juice” by Tyga.
8. Yui – Namidairo (Last Week #6)
Yui falls two more spots this week as she continues to have two videos in the Top 10. Could Yui win her second straight Chachi for Artist of the Year? She may just do that as NaNa has disappeared from the scene. However, she will have competition from our next the artists videos.
7. Kanye West feat. Chris Martin – Homecoming (Last Week #9)
Kanye West moves up another two spots as he looks to make it to the top for the third time in a eight month span. This is my second favorite video he has had off of “Graduation” so far and here is hoping to a CRS album at some point in 2008.
6. Bennie K – Monochrome (Last Week #3, Seven Weeks at #1)
After spending almost two months at number one, Bennie K spends only their third week outside of the Top Five. They had been gone for over a year and now they are in line for the video of the year. Not bad, Yuki & Cico. Not bad.
5. Lupe Fiasco feat Nikki Jean – Hip Hop Saved My Life (Last Week #7)
Lupe Fiasco has his second Top Five video of 2008 already! He may just have the best album of 2008 (Although it was released in December, the Chachi Awards cutoff date is December 1st) and also the biggest video of the year in “US Placers” with the rest of the crew. This video is awesome and being in Houston, I am glad the Lil Flip WAS NOT IN THIS VIDEO. I really don’t like him.
4. Yui – Laugh Away (Last Week #2)
Yui fails again?! For the fourth straight time Yui fails to take the top spot after peaking at number two! After two consecutive number one videos Yui has been unable to take back her throne. Will her next eventual video end the streak? We are down to the final three….and two of them are new!
3. L`Arc~en~Ciel – DRINK IT DOWN (Last Week #4)
The Arc is back near the top! After almost a year since “SEVENTH HEAVEN” topped the chart after knocking off UGK & Outkast’s “International Players Anthem”, Hyde and Company are looking to take the throne again! I know I have said this several times but…Hyde’s hair is IMPECCABLE in this video. Pantene Pro V, give this man a commercial!
2. Foxxi MisQ – X.B.F. (Last Week #1, One Week at #1)
After one week at number one, Foxxi MisQ falls one spot after their long trek! Despite falling, they did get their first number one video after two stints in the Top Three so congratulations for that. A new single should be coming soon and could that mean a battle with YA-KYIM? I could only dream! So who has the new number one video?
1. Usher feat. Young Jeezy – Love In This Club (Last Week #5, One Week at #1)
The King Is Back! After only a month on the Countdown, Usher takes his place on top as the King of the Chart! This video is not as great as “Yeah” but at the end of the day…few videos are. This one is still awesome and if they do a video for the remix with T.I. before he goes to prison that would be bad ass. Also…Young Jeezy has rode coattails to his second number one video. Wow…I am shocked, too. Even still, congrats Uer-sher!
That is all for this week! Tune in next week to see if Usher can hold on to the top spot for another week! Or can L`Arc~en~Ciel take the top spot for a second time? Or can Foxxi MisQ or Yui bounce back and take the throne for the ladies? Tune in next week to find out!
So on Friday night…the summer movie season officially begins! Iron Man opens and I will be going in the afternoon to avoid crowds and bros. I will try to have a review up by Saturday night! Until then, stay up peeps!
Chachi Out!
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Disney Channel: Mentally Destroying Young Women Since 1997.
Okay people, I am back once again! Mostly because I have a RAGING headache and don’t feel like leaving the house but aside from that I am just here for a quick set of….
Chachi’s Random Thoughts!
Random Thought #1: I Am Really Not That Excited About Grand Theft Auto 4.
Yes, I know I preordered the game and I have been talking about it for a while but I am not really as excited about video games as I used to be. I guess that will change once I get it and have time to play if but dammit, playing games just aint the same with a job. When I was in college (And games were arguably at its lowest with the GameCube and the resting on its ASS PlayStation 2) I had the time to play games but there was nothing really out on a consistent basis so playing games stopped being a focal point and I actually went…outside and met people. Novel concept I admit.
However, after GTAIII, I personally feel the series has kind of gotten stagnant. The majority of my time was spent completing missions and listening to the radio stations (The blade that killed 1,000 Cambodians!) so with its wide open game play I because easily distracted and in the end just stopped playing in favor of other games (Kingdom hearts 2 for one). I am hoping they make the missions winnable and make the multiplayer worth the time to play (I normally detest online play but with this I will give it a try) so I can have a great gaming experience without having to look at this thing like a second job. I’m just saying.
Random Thought #2: The Jonas Brothers SUCK.
I don’t know who they are or what they do but man I am TIRED of hearing about them. They are nowhere near as good as BBMak and the only song I have heard from them sucks it dry. Between these fucktards and Miley Cyrus, we are expediting the dumbening of America’s youth. Speaking of the dumbening of America’s youth…
Random Thought #3: LEAVE MILEY CYRUS ALONE!!! I’M SERIOUS!!
You get the idea. Now I know she is 15 and she is naked in a magazine. I know that someone on her side, whether it be her parents, publicist staff or even Miley herself agreed to the shot. But at the end of the day, someone at Vanity Fair has to say…
SHE IS A FUCKING MINOR!
Seriously, who even brings something like this up?! As a reputable magazine they have a responsibility to just say “you know what, this is a bad idea” for things like this. Even if Miley herself brought the idea to them they still need to say no way because she is FIFTEEN FUCKING YEARS OLD! I don’t want to take the blame from her or her publicity team because they were dipshits for going along with it. However, someone has to know that a 15 year old naked in a magazine geared for adults is kind of a bad idea. Kind of. I mean this isn’t Japan here, and Miley is no Asuka or Hikaru from Hinoi Team:
They are almost legal, peeps! Next year it’s on! Sorry, enough of my dreams. Anyway, this has been blown WAY OUT OF CONTEXT. I mean here is the photo of Miley:
Is it any worse than THIS photo of her?:
Hell, the second photo looks like she is drunk as hell! As someone that has been drunk as hell…I can tell. I personally don’t think the first picture is bad OR in poor taste as compared to the pictures we have seen Hayden Pantierre, Britney Spears and of course Vanessa “Chewbacca” Hudgens (I still love you baby, hairy bush and all!) in. If people think that THIS is going to make their daughters whore it up by…taking anemic looking photos underneath sheets for a magazine known for putting Demi Moore’s pregnant ass, David Beckham’s bulge (Union Jack? More like Union Jock!) and LeBron James looking silverback-ish on the cover with a blond chick in tow then by all means lock up your daughters and let’s have a good old fashion book burning. After that, lets burn us some witches, beat some women for reading, drag us some faggots behind a truck and lynch some niggers for eyeballing that sweet, sweet white sugar. Offended? Good, it is the exact same over reaction for shit that ISN’T EVEN AN ISSUE. I say blame everyone, pull the picture and shut the fuck up. Besides, Miley will never be as worth seeing shirtless as Zac Efron:
Can you say DREAMY?! I know I can. In other words, this isn’t news and if you think that this is offensive or your daughter is going to become skank of the year because her role model took some pictures….what in the fuck is your daughter doing reading Vanity Fair anyway? Think about that and then come to grips with being a stupid parent.
Random Thought #5: Matt Ryan Will Be Good….Just Not Any Time Soon.
So I watched the Atlanta Falcons message boards and listened to ESPN badmouth Matt Ryan over the last two days all because he went to Atlanta. For three weeks all I heard was he was the only “franschise” quarterback in the draft and when Atlanta picks him to MAKE him their franschise Qb…all of a sudden he is the next Tim Couch. Well, I watched three games of Matt Ryan’s this year (GT, VT and FSU) and I saw his good and bad traits:
Good:
• The Kid Has “It”: Watch that Virginia Tech game. Minus the LSU and Kansas game, VT was the class of the ACC with a dominant defense. The held BC (Who was #3 nationally at the time I believe) to no points until six minutes left in the 4th quarter when Matt led the Eagles to this:
The kid was able to pull some magical stuff out this season. Now that was in COLLEGE but the talent around him is better (Roddy White is one of the 10 best wideouts in the NFL…with arguably the worst QB’s) and the expectations are lower.
• Arm Strength: Now people knocked his arm this year before and after the draft but every clip I see of him he gets the ball there ON TIME. Now the timing in the NFL is faster but so are his players. He can zip it in or as the video above showed he can put some touch on it when needed.
• He Can Take A Hit: And BOY will he have to playing behind Atlanta’s line unless they can get it together quickly:
DAAAAAAAMN! It’s going to be WORSE in the NFL.
Not to say he’s all good:
• NINETEEN INTERCEPTIONS?!: Yes, you read that right. Andre Woodson out of Kentucky, against better competition and the same comparable weapons, only threw 11 and had FORTY TOUCHDOWNS. Say system all you want, but 19 interceptions is way too many for an elite QB.
• Bad decisions: In their three losses in 2007, Matt Ryan three eight of his interceptions for the Eagles. He also took several bad sacks. Now he rarely made a poor throw and his mechanics are solid but when the game was big, sans the first VT game (To his credit was on the road in Blacksburg), Matt Ryan was questionable.
At the end of the day, Matt Ryan is in a difficult situation. I heard something on ESPN’s “First Take” while I was on a call this morning and it was really telling. I believe it was DE for Jacksonville that stated “There was a reason that when the Georgia Dome went dark for introductions, it stayed dark during the game.” As offensive as it sounds, Black people attached to Mike Vick like no other quarterback in history. Now had Mike not been an asshat and coaches worked within his skill then we may not be having this conversation. Say what you will about Vick, he brought an excitement to this franchise that hadn’t been here since Deion Sanders and Andre Rison were on the team. There was a swagger that they could compete and say what you will but it will be hard to erase Mike Vick from this franchise. The only thing that will get rid of his memory is Matt Ryan leading the Falcons to 9 wins….which in the NFC South is completely possible. Atlanta isn’t a BAD team, they just have no depth. I believe Matt Ryan will be a good if not great pro but it will take a while, and odds are a bad first year. I say mark this down, though: unless he gets hurt, Matt Ryan starts at least 8 games…and they will win at least six. I said it here first.
Random Thought #6: I Miss Good Cartoons.
I know I am almost 30 but TV sucks ass. I miss waking up on Saturday mornings and having a morning full of good cartoons before heading outside to play. Children don’t have that now as all the cartoons are either remakes (THAT SUCK ASS!), live action or the anime that Japan doesn’t even like. I miss the days of Jayce & The Wheeled Warriors:
See! Even the bad cartoons were AWESOME. WHEEEEELED WARRIOOOOOOORS!!
Well, that is all for now. Next update will be maybe Wednesday. Not sure yet, maybe not until Thursday but Friday is the Countdown (That’s a given. Not to be a spoiler but Foxxi MisQ may not be the number one video this Friday! But who….L`Arc~en~Ciel maybe?) and of course IRON MAN! Until next time, stay up peeps. Maybe another update later on tonight if I am up for it.
Chachi Out.
Chachi’s Random Thoughts!
Random Thought #1: I Am Really Not That Excited About Grand Theft Auto 4.
Yes, I know I preordered the game and I have been talking about it for a while but I am not really as excited about video games as I used to be. I guess that will change once I get it and have time to play if but dammit, playing games just aint the same with a job. When I was in college (And games were arguably at its lowest with the GameCube and the resting on its ASS PlayStation 2) I had the time to play games but there was nothing really out on a consistent basis so playing games stopped being a focal point and I actually went…outside and met people. Novel concept I admit.
However, after GTAIII, I personally feel the series has kind of gotten stagnant. The majority of my time was spent completing missions and listening to the radio stations (The blade that killed 1,000 Cambodians!) so with its wide open game play I because easily distracted and in the end just stopped playing in favor of other games (Kingdom hearts 2 for one). I am hoping they make the missions winnable and make the multiplayer worth the time to play (I normally detest online play but with this I will give it a try) so I can have a great gaming experience without having to look at this thing like a second job. I’m just saying.
Random Thought #2: The Jonas Brothers SUCK.
I don’t know who they are or what they do but man I am TIRED of hearing about them. They are nowhere near as good as BBMak and the only song I have heard from them sucks it dry. Between these fucktards and Miley Cyrus, we are expediting the dumbening of America’s youth. Speaking of the dumbening of America’s youth…
Random Thought #3: LEAVE MILEY CYRUS ALONE!!! I’M SERIOUS!!
You get the idea. Now I know she is 15 and she is naked in a magazine. I know that someone on her side, whether it be her parents, publicist staff or even Miley herself agreed to the shot. But at the end of the day, someone at Vanity Fair has to say…
SHE IS A FUCKING MINOR!
Seriously, who even brings something like this up?! As a reputable magazine they have a responsibility to just say “you know what, this is a bad idea” for things like this. Even if Miley herself brought the idea to them they still need to say no way because she is FIFTEEN FUCKING YEARS OLD! I don’t want to take the blame from her or her publicity team because they were dipshits for going along with it. However, someone has to know that a 15 year old naked in a magazine geared for adults is kind of a bad idea. Kind of. I mean this isn’t Japan here, and Miley is no Asuka or Hikaru from Hinoi Team:
They are almost legal, peeps! Next year it’s on! Sorry, enough of my dreams. Anyway, this has been blown WAY OUT OF CONTEXT. I mean here is the photo of Miley:
Is it any worse than THIS photo of her?:
Hell, the second photo looks like she is drunk as hell! As someone that has been drunk as hell…I can tell. I personally don’t think the first picture is bad OR in poor taste as compared to the pictures we have seen Hayden Pantierre, Britney Spears and of course Vanessa “Chewbacca” Hudgens (I still love you baby, hairy bush and all!) in. If people think that THIS is going to make their daughters whore it up by…taking anemic looking photos underneath sheets for a magazine known for putting Demi Moore’s pregnant ass, David Beckham’s bulge (Union Jack? More like Union Jock!) and LeBron James looking silverback-ish on the cover with a blond chick in tow then by all means lock up your daughters and let’s have a good old fashion book burning. After that, lets burn us some witches, beat some women for reading, drag us some faggots behind a truck and lynch some niggers for eyeballing that sweet, sweet white sugar. Offended? Good, it is the exact same over reaction for shit that ISN’T EVEN AN ISSUE. I say blame everyone, pull the picture and shut the fuck up. Besides, Miley will never be as worth seeing shirtless as Zac Efron:
Can you say DREAMY?! I know I can. In other words, this isn’t news and if you think that this is offensive or your daughter is going to become skank of the year because her role model took some pictures….what in the fuck is your daughter doing reading Vanity Fair anyway? Think about that and then come to grips with being a stupid parent.
Random Thought #5: Matt Ryan Will Be Good….Just Not Any Time Soon.
So I watched the Atlanta Falcons message boards and listened to ESPN badmouth Matt Ryan over the last two days all because he went to Atlanta. For three weeks all I heard was he was the only “franschise” quarterback in the draft and when Atlanta picks him to MAKE him their franschise Qb…all of a sudden he is the next Tim Couch. Well, I watched three games of Matt Ryan’s this year (GT, VT and FSU) and I saw his good and bad traits:
Good:
• The Kid Has “It”: Watch that Virginia Tech game. Minus the LSU and Kansas game, VT was the class of the ACC with a dominant defense. The held BC (Who was #3 nationally at the time I believe) to no points until six minutes left in the 4th quarter when Matt led the Eagles to this:
The kid was able to pull some magical stuff out this season. Now that was in COLLEGE but the talent around him is better (Roddy White is one of the 10 best wideouts in the NFL…with arguably the worst QB’s) and the expectations are lower.
• Arm Strength: Now people knocked his arm this year before and after the draft but every clip I see of him he gets the ball there ON TIME. Now the timing in the NFL is faster but so are his players. He can zip it in or as the video above showed he can put some touch on it when needed.
• He Can Take A Hit: And BOY will he have to playing behind Atlanta’s line unless they can get it together quickly:
DAAAAAAAMN! It’s going to be WORSE in the NFL.
Not to say he’s all good:
• NINETEEN INTERCEPTIONS?!: Yes, you read that right. Andre Woodson out of Kentucky, against better competition and the same comparable weapons, only threw 11 and had FORTY TOUCHDOWNS. Say system all you want, but 19 interceptions is way too many for an elite QB.
• Bad decisions: In their three losses in 2007, Matt Ryan three eight of his interceptions for the Eagles. He also took several bad sacks. Now he rarely made a poor throw and his mechanics are solid but when the game was big, sans the first VT game (To his credit was on the road in Blacksburg), Matt Ryan was questionable.
At the end of the day, Matt Ryan is in a difficult situation. I heard something on ESPN’s “First Take” while I was on a call this morning and it was really telling. I believe it was DE for Jacksonville that stated “There was a reason that when the Georgia Dome went dark for introductions, it stayed dark during the game.” As offensive as it sounds, Black people attached to Mike Vick like no other quarterback in history. Now had Mike not been an asshat and coaches worked within his skill then we may not be having this conversation. Say what you will about Vick, he brought an excitement to this franchise that hadn’t been here since Deion Sanders and Andre Rison were on the team. There was a swagger that they could compete and say what you will but it will be hard to erase Mike Vick from this franchise. The only thing that will get rid of his memory is Matt Ryan leading the Falcons to 9 wins….which in the NFC South is completely possible. Atlanta isn’t a BAD team, they just have no depth. I believe Matt Ryan will be a good if not great pro but it will take a while, and odds are a bad first year. I say mark this down, though: unless he gets hurt, Matt Ryan starts at least 8 games…and they will win at least six. I said it here first.
Random Thought #6: I Miss Good Cartoons.
I know I am almost 30 but TV sucks ass. I miss waking up on Saturday mornings and having a morning full of good cartoons before heading outside to play. Children don’t have that now as all the cartoons are either remakes (THAT SUCK ASS!), live action or the anime that Japan doesn’t even like. I miss the days of Jayce & The Wheeled Warriors:
See! Even the bad cartoons were AWESOME. WHEEEEELED WARRIOOOOOOORS!!
Well, that is all for now. Next update will be maybe Wednesday. Not sure yet, maybe not until Thursday but Friday is the Countdown (That’s a given. Not to be a spoiler but Foxxi MisQ may not be the number one video this Friday! But who….L`Arc~en~Ciel maybe?) and of course IRON MAN! Until next time, stay up peeps. Maybe another update later on tonight if I am up for it.
Chachi Out.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Oy Vey....I Think I Just Broke The Interweb...
Okay, I am back on the scene! It is a surprisingly overcast Monday and I am totally dodging work right now. With that being said, I am deciding on whether to go to the midnight release of GTA4 or should I just wait until tomorrow to pick up my copy. I have been up until 3am the last few nights for no real reason at all and I need to get me a good night sleep for tomorrow.
So yesterday I re-posted a blog I put up about a year ago in which I responded to an article a friend of mine found on the interweb. I decided to revisit the post to see how much I and my views had changed over the last year. Seeing as how I am pissed off 24/7 now compared to the wide-eyed go getter that was ready to take on the world and feel loved then I wonder how I feel about this kind of shit now seeing as how my feelings about women are like GW’s approval rating: at an all time low. So let’s see if I have grown as a person and human being! Riiiiiight.
Passion of Chachi Presents: Review and Re-Do!
Post from April 25th, 2007: THIS Is Why Men Are Fucking Stupid.
“MISTAKE #1: BeingToo Much Of A "Nice Guy"
Have you ever noticed that the really attractive women never seem to be attracted "nice" guys? Of course you have. Just like me, I'm sure you've had attractive female friends that always seemed to date "jerks"... but for some reason they were never romantically interested in YOU. What's going on here? It's actually very simple...Women don't base their choices of men on how "nice" a guy is. They choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them. And guess what? Being nice doesn't make a woman FEEL that powerful ATTRACTION. And being NICE doesn't make a woman CHOOSE you. I realize that this doesn't make a lot of logical sense, and it's hard to ACCEPT... but GET OVER IT. Until you accept this FACT and begin to act on it, you'll NEVER have the success with women that you want.”
Original Response: Okay, so you are basically saying that women want to be treated like crap? Well yeah, stupid women do. This guy is basically saying that women are attracted at the primal level. That there is no depth in terms of personality that women find attractive. If she is a total trollop whore, I can agree with that. The simple fact is no man starts off as a jerk. Some do, I have seen them and they do get women. But have you seen the women they get? They get women that EXPECT TO BE TREATED LIKE SHIT FROM A JERK! So this dude is really just saying that ‘dumb women get dumber guys’ which isn’t new. And neither is women dating jerks. Like I said, no man starts off as a jerk (at least from the information I have gathered and the relationships I have witnessed), he gradually senses that she has either become comfortable with his shit or has low enough self esteem to be treated like crap and accept it. I know, I have seen it and I have been there. As for not getting what I want because of being nice. I am not nice. Ask any woman that knows me and she will tell you. I am as abrasive and a fucking rusty chainsaw with a bad motor. Men who are jerks get women because those are the kind of guys those women are attracted to. Is it the majority? No. Are the majority of men jerks? And fucking how. Now if there are more women than men, and the majority of men are jerks…where do you think the odds lie? Come on, fucker numbers are more relevant than emotions. For a dickhole that speaks about ‘logic’ you cant use is with ‘emotion’. The two are parallel fucking lines and never intersect. Moron.
My Response Now: I always saw the logic in this douche’s statement but I never believe that women like “nice” guys because the term “nice guy” is a total cop out. I haven’t heard a guy refer to himself as a “nice guy” since college and when I do I am using it in humor. From the experience I have had with females women have no idea WHAT they want. Nolan said something I had always thought but it never hit me until we had this dialog: “When you are dating a woman, you are dating who she has dated. If she has a shitty track record of guys she has been with you are dealing with all the bullshit that she has not been able to accept about her bad decisions.” A woman’s intuition isn’t intuition as much as it is consistent trial and error which usually results in ERRORS. Ask how many women had dated an asshole and you will be in a really high percentage (80%-ish) and odds are the reason they were attracted to them wasn’t enough to base a relationship on. If you are going to date someone because they are hot you are shallow. Nothing wrong with that at all. Attraction is based off of personal feelings and if a woman aint feeling you then convincing her to like you shows she is weak and you are desperate. Besides, if a woman want to date an a-hole over me that is quite fine. A persons previous relationship decisions are just as much of an indicator of the kind of partner they would be in the current time and if she dated fuckers and that is her track record, I don’t think that would be a fit for me anyway. In other words people are who they are and like what/whom they like. That being said, looking at the majority of females I know and their decisions, much like Shitty Airlines they made the wrong choice before.
MISTAKE #2: Trying To Convince Her To Like You
What do most guys do when they meet a woman that they REALLY like... but she's just not interested? Right! They try to "convince" the woman to feel differently. Well, I have news for you... YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A WOMAN "FEELS" WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION! Never, ever, EVER. You cannot CONVINCE a woman to feel differently about you with "logic and reasoning". Think about it. If a woman doesn't "feel it" for you, how in the world do you expect to change that FEELING by being "reasonable" with her? But we all do it. When a woman just isn't interested, we beg, plead, chase, and do our best to change her mind. Bad idea. One that will never work.”
Original Response: Wow, I will admit I’ve been there. Never did I try to change myself; I changed my actions which was WORSE. When a woman isn’t interested in me but I am in her, I chalk it up as a loss and charge it to the game. It sucks, but it is fucking life. If she aint interested, let her go. I don’t agree with you because odds are you should know she aint interested from jump street. As a comm. Major we are taught to read non-verbals and I believe I read them well. I don’t CARE a lot of the times but I know signs of non-interest.“
My Response Now: First off, the initial purpose of the writers “help” was based on not convincing a woman to like you yet you should attempt to work off of her gut level attraction by acting in a way outside of yourself to attract her. They contradict each other. Just food for thought IMHO. Now attempting to convince a woman of anything is a moot point because women run on an emotional thought process which at its core is devoid of logic. Now emotion and logic can overlap, but any fucktard can find the clue that breaks a case wide open. Logic is a concept that women believe they don’t have to follow because in the end they believe that they are allowed to make any decision they want because as women they are excepted to be irrational beings. To reason with a woman about why she shouldn’t (or should) date someone is pointless because whatever you say they should do is irrelevant. Women already know what they are going to do, right or wrong even when LOGIC proves them to be wrong in their decision. I don’t enjoy talking to women because they know they are wrong logically about a lot of shit but because they are women they see it as their right to be able to make bad decisions. To tie this all back, if a woman isn’t interested and you try to convince her to be you are wasting your time. Now if she doesn’t know you and you present yourself that is one thing. However, if you present what you have to offer and she still isn’t interested then that is just the way it. Call me unpersistant but I believe that no means no and maybe I give women too much credit and/or respect in thinking that what they say is their word. If they say that for me to chase them: FUCK THAT. If you aren’t comfortable enough to put your emotions out to someone that has put theirs out to you then you are an asshat and deserve to be with a dude that treats you like shit. I am not Phoenix Wright: Attorney at Law and have no need to attempt to convince a woman that I am right for her if she doesn’t believe it. It’s your life and I have to live mine.
MISTAKE #3: Looking To Her For Approval Or Permission
In our desire to please women (which we mistakenly think will make them like us), us guys are always doing things to get a woman's "approval" or "permission". Another HORRIBLE idea. Women are NEVER attracted to the types of men who kiss up to them... EVER. Don't get me wrong here. You don't have to treat women BADLY for them to like you. But if you think that treating a woman well means "always getting her approval and permission for things", think again. You will never succeed by looking for approval. Women actually get ANNOYED at men who seek their approval. Doubt me? Just ask any attractive woman if Wussy guys who chase her around and want her approval annoy her...”
Original Response: Wow, this is funny. I could give a fuck about whether a woman thinks I am unfunny, abrasive, anti-social, mean, rude or an overall asshole. You know why? That’s me. Maybe this dude is just a sissy but I don’t ask for permission from ANY woman aside my mom. And that’s because she will cut me on general purpose. If it is something that is a unified decision then we compromise. I am grown and so is she. Asking for permission is asinine. The way I look at it, you shouldn’t have to ask permission because if you are together, you should be doing whatever it is you are asking together or the other party would understand the situation and be fine with the independence. An ex asked my permission about something and I asked her if she was twelve. We didn’t last long, but my point was made.“
My Response Now: I really will not back down on this. Relationships are a partnership, not an ownership. It isn’t yaoi so there is no need for a uke and seme dynamic. I don’t believe that you should have to ask for permission or acceptance from your partner because at the end of the day they should know you and your likes well enough and accept how you are as a person (unless it is unhealthy like going to furry parties or some shit). Now in the chase aspect….ask any woman that knows me whether I give a fuck what they think. They will tell you that I couldn’t give two shits about what they think about what I do and what I like. Women want to be desired, whether it is by who they are with or by random people. Again, there is nothing wrong with that. However, if that desire is what you need to be validated then this question is flipped around. Women seek approval in several ways (Their dress, their sexual activity or lack thereof, the need of male friends to feel secure about themselves) much like men seek approval by flashing money and cars around because a car is the bait. GOTCHA, BITCH! Yet, a woman never changes HERSELF for a man, she attempts to change the MAN to fit HER which is the most fucked up thing ever. So in a sense, although I would never do it, the reason some men are constantly seeking approval is that they don’t want to lose their sense of individuality by dating a woman who he knows will try to change him. Think about it; that is why bros are in demand now. They are easy to train and for the most part don’t need to be because they are exactly what a woman needs to feel validated because they never question and usually ignore them that gives them the dominance and yet drama factor they need to be validated. I digress, as that is another rant altogether. To tie this all together, we have all chased a woman to some extent but at the end of the day a real man isn’t going to chase a woman past his limits of sanity or common sense. I may not have my dignity, but I do have my common sense.
MISTAKE #4: Trying To "Buy" Her Affection With Food And Gifts
How many times have you taken a woman out to a nice dinner, bought her gifts and flowers, and had her REJECT you for someone who didn't treat her even HALF as well as you did? If you're like me, then you've had it happen a LOT. Well guess what? It's only NATURAL when this happens...That's right, I said NATURAL. When you do these things, you send a clear message:"I don't think you'll like me for who I am, so I'm going to try to buy your attention and affection". Your good intentions usually come across to women as over-compensation for insecurity, and weak attempts at manipulation. That's right, I said that women see this as MANIPULATION.”
Original Response: Heh, this is interesting. Women are ingrained to feel that they are being manipulated by men any-fucking-way so it is a Catch-22. Any woman that expects you to pay for her at all points (and Rick will tell you I have been there and we weren’t EVEN DATING) is a whore. You are, get over it. I pay because I want to. Hell, I pay for my male friends sometimes and that isn’t because I am ‘insecure about our relationship’. It’s because it is the cool thing to do sometimes. Whoever is giving this insight got fucked over and is looking for a reason for why. Never look for a reason because closure on emotional situations (which dating/courting is) is different by situation. This person is blanketing a result of one situation and relaying it to a few similar situations, by doing so is trying to address all situations everyone will have this point forward. Good job, fucky.“
My Response Now: Pretty much the same, actually. You see, in the experiences I have had and the details given to me by my friends about their interactions with females I have found that women thrive in consistency. Now any woman that says she likes “spontaneity” isn’t LYING as much as she is looking for random moments of making her feel like the most important thing in his life…which she ISN’T so in essence you are dating a liar. Congrats! Anyway, at the end of the day, A Pimp Named Slickback had it best. If you are buying things for a woman to get her to like you then you suffer from a severe case of Bitch Dependency:
Let’s be honest here: the number of women that can be liked for how they are is rather slim. When you find one, NEVER LET HER GO (Like I did…get a few drinks in me and I will tell you about it) because I am going to be frank right now. People, male and female, are devoid of any real discernable personality. It is hard to like people for who they are because people fucking suck donkey balls. Since the majority of people have the personality of a soaking wet ferret that has been drinking wild turkey for two days they have to go with what they think will work to keep a persons’ interest in them. For men those tactics include:
• Buying affection with gifts (Bitches love gifts. And the gifts are the bait! GOTCHA, BITCH!)
• The constant flashing of wealth (Flaunting keys and how much they spend on themselves. I understand ballin but come on)
• Mental and/or physical abuse (You know how I feel about this. If you don’t, ask and I will tell you. Just better be prepared for my answer. This is usually AFTER they start dating because at least SOME women are smart enough to not go home with a guy that savate kicks them for not taking the drink he bought her. Am I a bad person because I thought that would be funny as hell?)
• Lying (Well, this is telling a woman what they want to hear which is usually a lie any-fucking-way. Most men will say whatever they need to get a woman into bed. Since women need to feel validated from men…you know what happens. And he won’t call unless he knocks you up. Even then, there is still a 25% chance you will never find his ass)
While for women, their tactics are:
• Lying; or as I call it, a woman’s Shikai.
(When a woman wants to get a man to like her it doesn’t really take much for a really weak dude. They don’t HAVE to lie but much like Zangetsu is always in its released form, women will lie to you on general purpose. A man’s lie: “There WERE weapons of mass destruction.” A woman’s’ lie: “It’s your child.” I would say they are about even. I kid, I kid.
• Sex; or as I call it, a woman’s BANKAI.
(I have said this before and psychological studies have proven that there is more of an emotional link to sex on the side of females than on the side of males. So a woman thinks that if she has sex with you that you automatically are emotionally involved with her. Unless she is doing it for sexual gratification which is fine until she decides to change the rules)
At the end of the day, people who attempt to manipulate or convince someone to like them have issues within themselves they need to address. It is difficult to like someone for who they are; that is why marriages don’t work at a 50% clip. It takes time to find someone that fits you as a person, and if the only way you can get that person is by not being yourself or by coercion then maybe that person isn’t for you. Just a thought.
MISTAKE #5: Sharing "How You Feel" Too Early In The Relationship With Her
Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most men make with women is sharing how they "feel" too early on. Attractive women are rare. And they get a LOT of attention from men. Most men don't realize this, but attractive women are being approached in one way or another ALL THE An attractive woman is often approached several times a DAY by men who are interested. This translate into dozens of times per week, and often HUNDREDS of times per month. And guess what? Attractive women have usually dated a LOT of men. That's right. They have EXPERIENCE. They know what to expect. And one thing that turns an attractive women off and sends her running away faster than just about anything is a guy who starts saying "You know, I really, REALLY like you" after one or two dates. This signals to the woman that you're just like all the other guys who fall for her too fast... and can't control themselves. Don't do it. Lean back. Relax. There's a much better way...”
Original Response: Okay, let me lay this down because I can say I have seen it a lot in my years. ALL women are approached by ALL TYPES of men. Except nice, jaded guys because we are under the assumption they will say no. First off, if a woman looks at a relationship as a power struggle of who shows their feelings first then she is a bitch and deserves to be treated poorly. I hate to say that but it is the same for men so shut the fuck up. If you are comfortable in telling the woman you have feelings for how you feel and she says ‘Gear down, big shifter’ that is normal. It takes time to figure out how you feel about someone (SOMETIMES LIKE 3 FUCKING YEARS). Any man that says that after two dates unless they have known each other for a while is either looking for tang, fucking insane or doesn’t FULLY mean it but sort of feels funny in pants when she is around. Maybe YOU said that after two dates and she ran, but you are obviously a fucktard.
My Response Now: Well, this is bullshit. I even don’t believe in my original answer anymore. I am one that wears my emotions on my sleeve because I believe that when you hold things in you begin to put undue emotional stress on yourself. Secondly, women are NOT rare. They are everywhere and they outnumber men…except in Colorado Springs of course but that is life. Even if an attractive woman (I have run under the assumption that he means visually attractive women) are approached a lot, which I believe to be false because they claim men are “intimidated” by their beauty, a man telling them how they feel is the LEAST of their problems (Drunken bros, horny business men, sky-rocketing gas prices, etc.). Women know what to expect because they usually (READ, BITCHES! USUALLY!) date inside a certain box of men so OF COURSE they know what to expect. Anything that would deviate from the norm that they know of will be unfamiliar and they would flee/back away. That’s normal. It is like playing the spread offense for the first time as a football team. If you have never seen it and you don’t have the athletes to contain it you are never going to be able to win the game and your playbook is ill-prepared for the onslaught. If a woman is unprepared for how to handle a man in touch with is emotions (And some cases vice versa) then that is a battle you can’t win and odds are don’t want to. Attraction should be mutual. When it isn’t….it is just a nice way of calling you a stalker. In the end, if neither party can handle the others emotions they should hold off dating until they can. Emotions are a part of life and you can’t only take into account your own, especially if you want to be with someone else.
“MISTAKE #6: Not "Getting" How Attraction Works For Women
Women are VERY different from men when it comes to ATTRACTION. You need to accept this fact, and deal with it. When a man sees a beautiful, young, sexy woman, he INSTANTLY feels a sexual attraction. But does the same apply for women? Do women feel sexual attraction to men based mostly on looks? Or is something else going on? Well, after studying this topic for over five full years now, I can tell you that women usually have their "attraction mechanisms" triggered by things OTHER than looks. Have you ever noticed that you see a lot more average and unattractive men with beautiful women than the other way around? Think about it. Women are more attracted to certain qualities in men... and they're attracted to the way a man makes them FEEL than they are to looks alone. If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman. But it's not an accident. You have to LEARN how to do this.
Original Response: *Sigh* What a fucking moron. There is nothing to “get” about attraction. It is special for each person which is why magazines suck so much ass. Women are attracted to different traits just like men are. Hell, some men think that women that curse are unattractive and I find that shit FUCKING HAWT. Some women find assholes attractive and that is fine and dandy like red vine candy. There is nothing to learn because it changes, just like human emotions do. To ‘learn’ emotions is pointless because once again, they are special for the individual. If you don’t have that factor in that person that makes you attractive to them then they may just not be the one for you. Shit, this isn’t Felicity where you can make Ben love you if he just realizes you are made for each other. Bullshit, love is what love is. It is unpredictable, has no rhyme or reason and for the most part is unknowing. You don’t learn love, you embrace it when it happens, you fuck.
My Response Now: Well, the dude is a moron but brings up an important point: women DO have other aspects that attract them to men aside looks. That trait is money. I kid, I kid….not really. I have always said that you like what you like. It doesn’t make you shallow. Now I try not to GENERALIZE all women aside from being succubi which has been proven by both Van Helsing and Simon Belmont. If you want to argue with them, be my guest. The fact is that if this was true there would be fewer divorces and less baby daddy’s and baby mama’s. If they are attracted to a certain aspect of you lets say, what is to say that everything else about you isn’t totally against what she is looking for? So if you do things that can trick her communication wise and she finds out after the fact that you aren’t how you acted, how is that relationship going to result? Now if this article is about the bedding of attractive women then I can totally agree with his statement because it’s not like what he is saying is novel or hasn’t been done. My uncle told me that shit when I was seven. However, if you are looking past the initial fuck and run then you have to bring some substance…which I will be the first to admit that a great majority of men lack. With that being said, more women lack personality because they are never forced to have one because many think having a vagina is enough to be desired but again, that is another rant altogether. Overall, after a year I agree partially with whoever made this statement but it is a purely short sighted approach.
“MISTAKE #7: Thinking That It Takes Money And Looks
One of the most common mistakes that guys make is giving up before they've even gotten started... because they think that attractive women are only interested in men who have looks and money... or guys who are a certain height... or guys who are a certain age. And sure, there are some women who are only interested in these things. But MOST women are far more interested in a man's personality than his wallet or his looks. There are personality traits that attract women like a magnet...And if you learn what they are and how to use them, YOU can be one of these guys. YOU DO NOT have to "settle" for a woman just because you aren't rich, tall, or handsome. Let me say this again: If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman.”
Original Response: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Looks are just as important to men as they are to women. As for money: Akon. That man is ugly as an Ugandan Yeti Raper and twice as stupid. Listen to him talk and he has very little redeeming about him but he gets women because he is rich and a percentage of women are fucking morons that want to fuck a celebrity. So it DOES take money and looks don’t let anyone fool you. It is whether that is the ONLY criteria that is at question. Like I stated in my rant about ‘What’s Wrong With Being Shallow’ there is nothing wrong with liking what you like. It is their own preference and who the hell am I to change them? However, the point is by being narrow-minded and judgmental they could be missing out on a very good person. It’s not up for you to decide. If they are interested, they will respond in turn or hell, they may go after you. I don’t speak from experience, women hate me. Even still, I may be ugly, but you are wrong.
My Response Now: Yes, women are interested in a personality. Just one that is DEVOID of personality. To dumb that down for the mouthbreathers, the fact is that women expect very little emotionally and personality wise from a man. So that is usually what they receive. So if you show a LITTLE bit of difference to the norm but not too much then that will pique intrigue in you. To say women aren’t interested in money is false because we all are. Male or female, you want to be secure financially and that is a fact. However, how often do you see relationships stay together in total disharmony solely for the fact of the finances? I guarantee more women stay with husbands that are treating them poorly/cheating for the money and power rather than the children. Hell, look at Hillary Clinton. Do you think that she and Bill are a “fit together?” Hell no, she is there for the political clout. In the end, I will keep this answer short because I believe in my original one for the most part. However, I believe that MOST women are looking for specific traits in a man and a personality falls after that. That’s why women see the actual time of dating a person exclusively to find out about that person (In which they are usually more emotionally invested than the other party or end up knocked up) while normal men (READ: NORMAL MEN) use the act and art of dating to get to know someone. Think about it.
“MISTAKE #8: Giving Away All Of Your Power To Women Earlier I mentioned that it's a mistake to look to a woman for approval or permission. Well, another similar tactic that a lot of guys use is GIVING AWAY THEIR POWER to women. Said differently, guys try to get women to like them by doing whatever the woman wants. Another bad idea...Women are NEVER attracted to men that they can walk all over... Women aren't attracted to Wussies!”
Original Response: Wow, not only are you a fucktard but you are redundant. You must have been shocked by a car battery. You see, there is a difference between doing something to get a woman to like you and doing something because you want to. Women can perceive it however they want. Fuck them if they cant adjust because I know I wont be. There are men that get walked over because they want to be liked and there are men that do things for women because they like them. Subtle difference. Either way, it is all in how the woman perceives it. I cant force or change the way she thinks. If I did, she is weak-minded and I aint with that. If I open a door, pull out a chair and always pay and she respects that because she knows I care that’s one thing. However, if she EXPECTS that then the issue is hers. Now if you buy her gifts and do as she says in fear of losing her, not in the feeling of caring about her then you are indeed a ‘wussie’. I guess 1989 is back in effect. Besides, any woman that sees a relationship as a power struggle…shouldn’t be in a relationship.
My Response Now: You know what? I totally disagree with this now. Both the fucktards answer and my response a year ago. If either party looks at a relationship as a power struggle then neither one needs to be dating period. I have this conversation with my friends now all the time and it seems that I must be out of touch but I really don’t see dating as a tug-of-war in who is the one in control. I don’t back down but I won’t stand in the way, either. You actions are interpreted by the receiver so no matter what you do in goodness it could be taken the wrong way by the other person. So what you see as sharing yourself could be seen as a new country in Risk. You can either go through life trying to take power from your partner or trying to share roles. I prefer the latter, and that seems to be the wrong way to go about it.
“MISTAKE #9: Not Knowing EXACTLY What To Do In Each Type Of Situation With Women
Now I'm going to blow your mind...A woman ALWAYS knows what you're thinking. Women are approximately TEN TIMES better than men at reading body language. That's ten TIMES.I know, it might be hard to believe. But for example, if you're out on a date with a woman, and you want to kiss her, she knows it .And if you don't know exactly what to do and exactly HOW to kiss her, and you just sit there looking at her and getting nervous, she won't help! And this goes for ALL aspects of women and dating...Approaching a woman, getting her number, asking her out, kissing her, getting physical... everything. If you don't know what to do in each situation, you will probably screw it up... and LOSE EVERYTHING. And you KNOW it.
Original Response: The more I read, the more I realize that these are the people that create the need for The Revolution. The simple fact is that if women were better at reading body language and non-verbals, there would be more female world leaders. Yeah, I went there. Every comedian says that a woman knows exactly how a date is going to go and men are just along to connect the dots. If that is the case, fine. I really don’t care. If on my few interactions with women, if I made a wrong turn and didn’t kiss when I was supposed to (or did when I wasn’t. WOW those are funny) they you know what? Live and learn. If every woman had the exact same blueprint then there wouldn’t be date rape or no babies would be born. Women, JUST LIKE (some) MEN, are all different. At least I would hope so as much as you claim to be individuals. Women don’t always know what a man is thinking. You know why? Because the human mind has been a quandary since the dawn of time and to even SUGGEST that women have had the answer to brain waves and conceptualized thought with a brain one half the size of a mans (its science, look it up) is preposterous. You are just looking for tang by giving women too much credit. Or too LITTLE credit by saying they are simple creatures of habit and can be caught by shiny objects and following your stupid little steps. The human being is complex, men and women are both individuals and they should be treated as such, not lumped into a generic little box so you can explain your past shortfalls with the opposite sex.
My Response Now: Well, first of the first statement is false. I try not to toss out arbitrary numbers when giving examples but the fact that women are ten times better at reading body language is not only false but is irrelevant. If women were so good at reading body language they would be better at dodge lefts, rights and uppercuts from their asshole boyfriend/husband/babydaddy. Yes….I went there. To say all women know the situation they want and respond to stimuli the same is just a blanket statement. Now I say “all women love bros” which is false. I say all women PREFER bros because that is the norm but I also prefer schoolgirls because that is the norm for ME. Maybe I am giving women too much credit (Which I have done a lot recently) but I figure that women know that life doesn’t always work how you want and that sometimes you have to work within the situation or “outside the box” as corporations like to say. If women aren’t creative enough (Another rant right there) or open enough to maneuver through a situation as simple as a date without a preconceived notion on how they WANT it to go….how can a woman be an effective president? BURN! Whoo….that was cold blooded. Seriously, if I have to conform what I do to the wants of a woman, where is the relationship consensus in that? THAT is why relationships fail so often, IMHO.
“It is VITALLY important that you know EXACTLY how to go from one step to the next with a woman... from the first meeting, all the way to the bedroom.”
Now you see, this is where the vagueness begins. If this is an article SOLELY about hooking up with women then yes, it brings up valid points….albeit misguided. To look at this past just one time (Or two if you can stand to be around a woman that long) to me seems rather counter-intuitive. This article (I believe it was an article) speaks a lot to just guiding a woman by using their illogical though process into the bedroom…and no where past that. I personally believe that if you want to base a relationship off of the sexual aspects then be my guest. However, if you try to base the RELATIONSHIP aspect after the sex then you end up with a person you really know nothing about and you are kind of stuck with that person. Call me gay but I always thought you got to know someone and saw if they were someone you could see spending more than five minutes with before killing them and then sex happened AFTER that. If the prowess of ones sexual ability is enough to keep a relationship going despite major problems…you are kind of an asshat. Once again, that’s just my opinion.
So that is all for now. That was quite a post there. I will try to be back up tomorrow but if not I will be back up on Wednesday. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out.
So yesterday I re-posted a blog I put up about a year ago in which I responded to an article a friend of mine found on the interweb. I decided to revisit the post to see how much I and my views had changed over the last year. Seeing as how I am pissed off 24/7 now compared to the wide-eyed go getter that was ready to take on the world and feel loved then I wonder how I feel about this kind of shit now seeing as how my feelings about women are like GW’s approval rating: at an all time low. So let’s see if I have grown as a person and human being! Riiiiiight.
Passion of Chachi Presents: Review and Re-Do!
Post from April 25th, 2007: THIS Is Why Men Are Fucking Stupid.
“MISTAKE #1: BeingToo Much Of A "Nice Guy"
Have you ever noticed that the really attractive women never seem to be attracted "nice" guys? Of course you have. Just like me, I'm sure you've had attractive female friends that always seemed to date "jerks"... but for some reason they were never romantically interested in YOU. What's going on here? It's actually very simple...Women don't base their choices of men on how "nice" a guy is. They choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them. And guess what? Being nice doesn't make a woman FEEL that powerful ATTRACTION. And being NICE doesn't make a woman CHOOSE you. I realize that this doesn't make a lot of logical sense, and it's hard to ACCEPT... but GET OVER IT. Until you accept this FACT and begin to act on it, you'll NEVER have the success with women that you want.”
Original Response: Okay, so you are basically saying that women want to be treated like crap? Well yeah, stupid women do. This guy is basically saying that women are attracted at the primal level. That there is no depth in terms of personality that women find attractive. If she is a total trollop whore, I can agree with that. The simple fact is no man starts off as a jerk. Some do, I have seen them and they do get women. But have you seen the women they get? They get women that EXPECT TO BE TREATED LIKE SHIT FROM A JERK! So this dude is really just saying that ‘dumb women get dumber guys’ which isn’t new. And neither is women dating jerks. Like I said, no man starts off as a jerk (at least from the information I have gathered and the relationships I have witnessed), he gradually senses that she has either become comfortable with his shit or has low enough self esteem to be treated like crap and accept it. I know, I have seen it and I have been there. As for not getting what I want because of being nice. I am not nice. Ask any woman that knows me and she will tell you. I am as abrasive and a fucking rusty chainsaw with a bad motor. Men who are jerks get women because those are the kind of guys those women are attracted to. Is it the majority? No. Are the majority of men jerks? And fucking how. Now if there are more women than men, and the majority of men are jerks…where do you think the odds lie? Come on, fucker numbers are more relevant than emotions. For a dickhole that speaks about ‘logic’ you cant use is with ‘emotion’. The two are parallel fucking lines and never intersect. Moron.
My Response Now: I always saw the logic in this douche’s statement but I never believe that women like “nice” guys because the term “nice guy” is a total cop out. I haven’t heard a guy refer to himself as a “nice guy” since college and when I do I am using it in humor. From the experience I have had with females women have no idea WHAT they want. Nolan said something I had always thought but it never hit me until we had this dialog: “When you are dating a woman, you are dating who she has dated. If she has a shitty track record of guys she has been with you are dealing with all the bullshit that she has not been able to accept about her bad decisions.” A woman’s intuition isn’t intuition as much as it is consistent trial and error which usually results in ERRORS. Ask how many women had dated an asshole and you will be in a really high percentage (80%-ish) and odds are the reason they were attracted to them wasn’t enough to base a relationship on. If you are going to date someone because they are hot you are shallow. Nothing wrong with that at all. Attraction is based off of personal feelings and if a woman aint feeling you then convincing her to like you shows she is weak and you are desperate. Besides, if a woman want to date an a-hole over me that is quite fine. A persons previous relationship decisions are just as much of an indicator of the kind of partner they would be in the current time and if she dated fuckers and that is her track record, I don’t think that would be a fit for me anyway. In other words people are who they are and like what/whom they like. That being said, looking at the majority of females I know and their decisions, much like Shitty Airlines they made the wrong choice before.
MISTAKE #2: Trying To Convince Her To Like You
What do most guys do when they meet a woman that they REALLY like... but she's just not interested? Right! They try to "convince" the woman to feel differently. Well, I have news for you... YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A WOMAN "FEELS" WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION! Never, ever, EVER. You cannot CONVINCE a woman to feel differently about you with "logic and reasoning". Think about it. If a woman doesn't "feel it" for you, how in the world do you expect to change that FEELING by being "reasonable" with her? But we all do it. When a woman just isn't interested, we beg, plead, chase, and do our best to change her mind. Bad idea. One that will never work.”
Original Response: Wow, I will admit I’ve been there. Never did I try to change myself; I changed my actions which was WORSE. When a woman isn’t interested in me but I am in her, I chalk it up as a loss and charge it to the game. It sucks, but it is fucking life. If she aint interested, let her go. I don’t agree with you because odds are you should know she aint interested from jump street. As a comm. Major we are taught to read non-verbals and I believe I read them well. I don’t CARE a lot of the times but I know signs of non-interest.“
My Response Now: First off, the initial purpose of the writers “help” was based on not convincing a woman to like you yet you should attempt to work off of her gut level attraction by acting in a way outside of yourself to attract her. They contradict each other. Just food for thought IMHO. Now attempting to convince a woman of anything is a moot point because women run on an emotional thought process which at its core is devoid of logic. Now emotion and logic can overlap, but any fucktard can find the clue that breaks a case wide open. Logic is a concept that women believe they don’t have to follow because in the end they believe that they are allowed to make any decision they want because as women they are excepted to be irrational beings. To reason with a woman about why she shouldn’t (or should) date someone is pointless because whatever you say they should do is irrelevant. Women already know what they are going to do, right or wrong even when LOGIC proves them to be wrong in their decision. I don’t enjoy talking to women because they know they are wrong logically about a lot of shit but because they are women they see it as their right to be able to make bad decisions. To tie this all back, if a woman isn’t interested and you try to convince her to be you are wasting your time. Now if she doesn’t know you and you present yourself that is one thing. However, if you present what you have to offer and she still isn’t interested then that is just the way it. Call me unpersistant but I believe that no means no and maybe I give women too much credit and/or respect in thinking that what they say is their word. If they say that for me to chase them: FUCK THAT. If you aren’t comfortable enough to put your emotions out to someone that has put theirs out to you then you are an asshat and deserve to be with a dude that treats you like shit. I am not Phoenix Wright: Attorney at Law and have no need to attempt to convince a woman that I am right for her if she doesn’t believe it. It’s your life and I have to live mine.
MISTAKE #3: Looking To Her For Approval Or Permission
In our desire to please women (which we mistakenly think will make them like us), us guys are always doing things to get a woman's "approval" or "permission". Another HORRIBLE idea. Women are NEVER attracted to the types of men who kiss up to them... EVER. Don't get me wrong here. You don't have to treat women BADLY for them to like you. But if you think that treating a woman well means "always getting her approval and permission for things", think again. You will never succeed by looking for approval. Women actually get ANNOYED at men who seek their approval. Doubt me? Just ask any attractive woman if Wussy guys who chase her around and want her approval annoy her...”
Original Response: Wow, this is funny. I could give a fuck about whether a woman thinks I am unfunny, abrasive, anti-social, mean, rude or an overall asshole. You know why? That’s me. Maybe this dude is just a sissy but I don’t ask for permission from ANY woman aside my mom. And that’s because she will cut me on general purpose. If it is something that is a unified decision then we compromise. I am grown and so is she. Asking for permission is asinine. The way I look at it, you shouldn’t have to ask permission because if you are together, you should be doing whatever it is you are asking together or the other party would understand the situation and be fine with the independence. An ex asked my permission about something and I asked her if she was twelve. We didn’t last long, but my point was made.“
My Response Now: I really will not back down on this. Relationships are a partnership, not an ownership. It isn’t yaoi so there is no need for a uke and seme dynamic. I don’t believe that you should have to ask for permission or acceptance from your partner because at the end of the day they should know you and your likes well enough and accept how you are as a person (unless it is unhealthy like going to furry parties or some shit). Now in the chase aspect….ask any woman that knows me whether I give a fuck what they think. They will tell you that I couldn’t give two shits about what they think about what I do and what I like. Women want to be desired, whether it is by who they are with or by random people. Again, there is nothing wrong with that. However, if that desire is what you need to be validated then this question is flipped around. Women seek approval in several ways (Their dress, their sexual activity or lack thereof, the need of male friends to feel secure about themselves) much like men seek approval by flashing money and cars around because a car is the bait. GOTCHA, BITCH! Yet, a woman never changes HERSELF for a man, she attempts to change the MAN to fit HER which is the most fucked up thing ever. So in a sense, although I would never do it, the reason some men are constantly seeking approval is that they don’t want to lose their sense of individuality by dating a woman who he knows will try to change him. Think about it; that is why bros are in demand now. They are easy to train and for the most part don’t need to be because they are exactly what a woman needs to feel validated because they never question and usually ignore them that gives them the dominance and yet drama factor they need to be validated. I digress, as that is another rant altogether. To tie this all together, we have all chased a woman to some extent but at the end of the day a real man isn’t going to chase a woman past his limits of sanity or common sense. I may not have my dignity, but I do have my common sense.
MISTAKE #4: Trying To "Buy" Her Affection With Food And Gifts
How many times have you taken a woman out to a nice dinner, bought her gifts and flowers, and had her REJECT you for someone who didn't treat her even HALF as well as you did? If you're like me, then you've had it happen a LOT. Well guess what? It's only NATURAL when this happens...That's right, I said NATURAL. When you do these things, you send a clear message:"I don't think you'll like me for who I am, so I'm going to try to buy your attention and affection". Your good intentions usually come across to women as over-compensation for insecurity, and weak attempts at manipulation. That's right, I said that women see this as MANIPULATION.”
Original Response: Heh, this is interesting. Women are ingrained to feel that they are being manipulated by men any-fucking-way so it is a Catch-22. Any woman that expects you to pay for her at all points (and Rick will tell you I have been there and we weren’t EVEN DATING) is a whore. You are, get over it. I pay because I want to. Hell, I pay for my male friends sometimes and that isn’t because I am ‘insecure about our relationship’. It’s because it is the cool thing to do sometimes. Whoever is giving this insight got fucked over and is looking for a reason for why. Never look for a reason because closure on emotional situations (which dating/courting is) is different by situation. This person is blanketing a result of one situation and relaying it to a few similar situations, by doing so is trying to address all situations everyone will have this point forward. Good job, fucky.“
My Response Now: Pretty much the same, actually. You see, in the experiences I have had and the details given to me by my friends about their interactions with females I have found that women thrive in consistency. Now any woman that says she likes “spontaneity” isn’t LYING as much as she is looking for random moments of making her feel like the most important thing in his life…which she ISN’T so in essence you are dating a liar. Congrats! Anyway, at the end of the day, A Pimp Named Slickback had it best. If you are buying things for a woman to get her to like you then you suffer from a severe case of Bitch Dependency:
Let’s be honest here: the number of women that can be liked for how they are is rather slim. When you find one, NEVER LET HER GO (Like I did…get a few drinks in me and I will tell you about it) because I am going to be frank right now. People, male and female, are devoid of any real discernable personality. It is hard to like people for who they are because people fucking suck donkey balls. Since the majority of people have the personality of a soaking wet ferret that has been drinking wild turkey for two days they have to go with what they think will work to keep a persons’ interest in them. For men those tactics include:
• Buying affection with gifts (Bitches love gifts. And the gifts are the bait! GOTCHA, BITCH!)
• The constant flashing of wealth (Flaunting keys and how much they spend on themselves. I understand ballin but come on)
• Mental and/or physical abuse (You know how I feel about this. If you don’t, ask and I will tell you. Just better be prepared for my answer. This is usually AFTER they start dating because at least SOME women are smart enough to not go home with a guy that savate kicks them for not taking the drink he bought her. Am I a bad person because I thought that would be funny as hell?)
• Lying (Well, this is telling a woman what they want to hear which is usually a lie any-fucking-way. Most men will say whatever they need to get a woman into bed. Since women need to feel validated from men…you know what happens. And he won’t call unless he knocks you up. Even then, there is still a 25% chance you will never find his ass)
While for women, their tactics are:
• Lying; or as I call it, a woman’s Shikai.
(When a woman wants to get a man to like her it doesn’t really take much for a really weak dude. They don’t HAVE to lie but much like Zangetsu is always in its released form, women will lie to you on general purpose. A man’s lie: “There WERE weapons of mass destruction.” A woman’s’ lie: “It’s your child.” I would say they are about even. I kid, I kid.
• Sex; or as I call it, a woman’s BANKAI.
(I have said this before and psychological studies have proven that there is more of an emotional link to sex on the side of females than on the side of males. So a woman thinks that if she has sex with you that you automatically are emotionally involved with her. Unless she is doing it for sexual gratification which is fine until she decides to change the rules)
At the end of the day, people who attempt to manipulate or convince someone to like them have issues within themselves they need to address. It is difficult to like someone for who they are; that is why marriages don’t work at a 50% clip. It takes time to find someone that fits you as a person, and if the only way you can get that person is by not being yourself or by coercion then maybe that person isn’t for you. Just a thought.
MISTAKE #5: Sharing "How You Feel" Too Early In The Relationship With Her
Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most men make with women is sharing how they "feel" too early on. Attractive women are rare. And they get a LOT of attention from men. Most men don't realize this, but attractive women are being approached in one way or another ALL THE An attractive woman is often approached several times a DAY by men who are interested. This translate into dozens of times per week, and often HUNDREDS of times per month. And guess what? Attractive women have usually dated a LOT of men. That's right. They have EXPERIENCE. They know what to expect. And one thing that turns an attractive women off and sends her running away faster than just about anything is a guy who starts saying "You know, I really, REALLY like you" after one or two dates. This signals to the woman that you're just like all the other guys who fall for her too fast... and can't control themselves. Don't do it. Lean back. Relax. There's a much better way...”
Original Response: Okay, let me lay this down because I can say I have seen it a lot in my years. ALL women are approached by ALL TYPES of men. Except nice, jaded guys because we are under the assumption they will say no. First off, if a woman looks at a relationship as a power struggle of who shows their feelings first then she is a bitch and deserves to be treated poorly. I hate to say that but it is the same for men so shut the fuck up. If you are comfortable in telling the woman you have feelings for how you feel and she says ‘Gear down, big shifter’ that is normal. It takes time to figure out how you feel about someone (SOMETIMES LIKE 3 FUCKING YEARS). Any man that says that after two dates unless they have known each other for a while is either looking for tang, fucking insane or doesn’t FULLY mean it but sort of feels funny in pants when she is around. Maybe YOU said that after two dates and she ran, but you are obviously a fucktard.
My Response Now: Well, this is bullshit. I even don’t believe in my original answer anymore. I am one that wears my emotions on my sleeve because I believe that when you hold things in you begin to put undue emotional stress on yourself. Secondly, women are NOT rare. They are everywhere and they outnumber men…except in Colorado Springs of course but that is life. Even if an attractive woman (I have run under the assumption that he means visually attractive women) are approached a lot, which I believe to be false because they claim men are “intimidated” by their beauty, a man telling them how they feel is the LEAST of their problems (Drunken bros, horny business men, sky-rocketing gas prices, etc.). Women know what to expect because they usually (READ, BITCHES! USUALLY!) date inside a certain box of men so OF COURSE they know what to expect. Anything that would deviate from the norm that they know of will be unfamiliar and they would flee/back away. That’s normal. It is like playing the spread offense for the first time as a football team. If you have never seen it and you don’t have the athletes to contain it you are never going to be able to win the game and your playbook is ill-prepared for the onslaught. If a woman is unprepared for how to handle a man in touch with is emotions (And some cases vice versa) then that is a battle you can’t win and odds are don’t want to. Attraction should be mutual. When it isn’t….it is just a nice way of calling you a stalker. In the end, if neither party can handle the others emotions they should hold off dating until they can. Emotions are a part of life and you can’t only take into account your own, especially if you want to be with someone else.
“MISTAKE #6: Not "Getting" How Attraction Works For Women
Women are VERY different from men when it comes to ATTRACTION. You need to accept this fact, and deal with it. When a man sees a beautiful, young, sexy woman, he INSTANTLY feels a sexual attraction. But does the same apply for women? Do women feel sexual attraction to men based mostly on looks? Or is something else going on? Well, after studying this topic for over five full years now, I can tell you that women usually have their "attraction mechanisms" triggered by things OTHER than looks. Have you ever noticed that you see a lot more average and unattractive men with beautiful women than the other way around? Think about it. Women are more attracted to certain qualities in men... and they're attracted to the way a man makes them FEEL than they are to looks alone. If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman. But it's not an accident. You have to LEARN how to do this.
Original Response: *Sigh* What a fucking moron. There is nothing to “get” about attraction. It is special for each person which is why magazines suck so much ass. Women are attracted to different traits just like men are. Hell, some men think that women that curse are unattractive and I find that shit FUCKING HAWT. Some women find assholes attractive and that is fine and dandy like red vine candy. There is nothing to learn because it changes, just like human emotions do. To ‘learn’ emotions is pointless because once again, they are special for the individual. If you don’t have that factor in that person that makes you attractive to them then they may just not be the one for you. Shit, this isn’t Felicity where you can make Ben love you if he just realizes you are made for each other. Bullshit, love is what love is. It is unpredictable, has no rhyme or reason and for the most part is unknowing. You don’t learn love, you embrace it when it happens, you fuck.
My Response Now: Well, the dude is a moron but brings up an important point: women DO have other aspects that attract them to men aside looks. That trait is money. I kid, I kid….not really. I have always said that you like what you like. It doesn’t make you shallow. Now I try not to GENERALIZE all women aside from being succubi which has been proven by both Van Helsing and Simon Belmont. If you want to argue with them, be my guest. The fact is that if this was true there would be fewer divorces and less baby daddy’s and baby mama’s. If they are attracted to a certain aspect of you lets say, what is to say that everything else about you isn’t totally against what she is looking for? So if you do things that can trick her communication wise and she finds out after the fact that you aren’t how you acted, how is that relationship going to result? Now if this article is about the bedding of attractive women then I can totally agree with his statement because it’s not like what he is saying is novel or hasn’t been done. My uncle told me that shit when I was seven. However, if you are looking past the initial fuck and run then you have to bring some substance…which I will be the first to admit that a great majority of men lack. With that being said, more women lack personality because they are never forced to have one because many think having a vagina is enough to be desired but again, that is another rant altogether. Overall, after a year I agree partially with whoever made this statement but it is a purely short sighted approach.
“MISTAKE #7: Thinking That It Takes Money And Looks
One of the most common mistakes that guys make is giving up before they've even gotten started... because they think that attractive women are only interested in men who have looks and money... or guys who are a certain height... or guys who are a certain age. And sure, there are some women who are only interested in these things. But MOST women are far more interested in a man's personality than his wallet or his looks. There are personality traits that attract women like a magnet...And if you learn what they are and how to use them, YOU can be one of these guys. YOU DO NOT have to "settle" for a woman just because you aren't rich, tall, or handsome. Let me say this again: If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman.”
Original Response: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Looks are just as important to men as they are to women. As for money: Akon. That man is ugly as an Ugandan Yeti Raper and twice as stupid. Listen to him talk and he has very little redeeming about him but he gets women because he is rich and a percentage of women are fucking morons that want to fuck a celebrity. So it DOES take money and looks don’t let anyone fool you. It is whether that is the ONLY criteria that is at question. Like I stated in my rant about ‘What’s Wrong With Being Shallow’ there is nothing wrong with liking what you like. It is their own preference and who the hell am I to change them? However, the point is by being narrow-minded and judgmental they could be missing out on a very good person. It’s not up for you to decide. If they are interested, they will respond in turn or hell, they may go after you. I don’t speak from experience, women hate me. Even still, I may be ugly, but you are wrong.
My Response Now: Yes, women are interested in a personality. Just one that is DEVOID of personality. To dumb that down for the mouthbreathers, the fact is that women expect very little emotionally and personality wise from a man. So that is usually what they receive. So if you show a LITTLE bit of difference to the norm but not too much then that will pique intrigue in you. To say women aren’t interested in money is false because we all are. Male or female, you want to be secure financially and that is a fact. However, how often do you see relationships stay together in total disharmony solely for the fact of the finances? I guarantee more women stay with husbands that are treating them poorly/cheating for the money and power rather than the children. Hell, look at Hillary Clinton. Do you think that she and Bill are a “fit together?” Hell no, she is there for the political clout. In the end, I will keep this answer short because I believe in my original one for the most part. However, I believe that MOST women are looking for specific traits in a man and a personality falls after that. That’s why women see the actual time of dating a person exclusively to find out about that person (In which they are usually more emotionally invested than the other party or end up knocked up) while normal men (READ: NORMAL MEN) use the act and art of dating to get to know someone. Think about it.
“MISTAKE #8: Giving Away All Of Your Power To Women Earlier I mentioned that it's a mistake to look to a woman for approval or permission. Well, another similar tactic that a lot of guys use is GIVING AWAY THEIR POWER to women. Said differently, guys try to get women to like them by doing whatever the woman wants. Another bad idea...Women are NEVER attracted to men that they can walk all over... Women aren't attracted to Wussies!”
Original Response: Wow, not only are you a fucktard but you are redundant. You must have been shocked by a car battery. You see, there is a difference between doing something to get a woman to like you and doing something because you want to. Women can perceive it however they want. Fuck them if they cant adjust because I know I wont be. There are men that get walked over because they want to be liked and there are men that do things for women because they like them. Subtle difference. Either way, it is all in how the woman perceives it. I cant force or change the way she thinks. If I did, she is weak-minded and I aint with that. If I open a door, pull out a chair and always pay and she respects that because she knows I care that’s one thing. However, if she EXPECTS that then the issue is hers. Now if you buy her gifts and do as she says in fear of losing her, not in the feeling of caring about her then you are indeed a ‘wussie’. I guess 1989 is back in effect. Besides, any woman that sees a relationship as a power struggle…shouldn’t be in a relationship.
My Response Now: You know what? I totally disagree with this now. Both the fucktards answer and my response a year ago. If either party looks at a relationship as a power struggle then neither one needs to be dating period. I have this conversation with my friends now all the time and it seems that I must be out of touch but I really don’t see dating as a tug-of-war in who is the one in control. I don’t back down but I won’t stand in the way, either. You actions are interpreted by the receiver so no matter what you do in goodness it could be taken the wrong way by the other person. So what you see as sharing yourself could be seen as a new country in Risk. You can either go through life trying to take power from your partner or trying to share roles. I prefer the latter, and that seems to be the wrong way to go about it.
“MISTAKE #9: Not Knowing EXACTLY What To Do In Each Type Of Situation With Women
Now I'm going to blow your mind...A woman ALWAYS knows what you're thinking. Women are approximately TEN TIMES better than men at reading body language. That's ten TIMES.I know, it might be hard to believe. But for example, if you're out on a date with a woman, and you want to kiss her, she knows it .And if you don't know exactly what to do and exactly HOW to kiss her, and you just sit there looking at her and getting nervous, she won't help! And this goes for ALL aspects of women and dating...Approaching a woman, getting her number, asking her out, kissing her, getting physical... everything. If you don't know what to do in each situation, you will probably screw it up... and LOSE EVERYTHING. And you KNOW it.
Original Response: The more I read, the more I realize that these are the people that create the need for The Revolution. The simple fact is that if women were better at reading body language and non-verbals, there would be more female world leaders. Yeah, I went there. Every comedian says that a woman knows exactly how a date is going to go and men are just along to connect the dots. If that is the case, fine. I really don’t care. If on my few interactions with women, if I made a wrong turn and didn’t kiss when I was supposed to (or did when I wasn’t. WOW those are funny) they you know what? Live and learn. If every woman had the exact same blueprint then there wouldn’t be date rape or no babies would be born. Women, JUST LIKE (some) MEN, are all different. At least I would hope so as much as you claim to be individuals. Women don’t always know what a man is thinking. You know why? Because the human mind has been a quandary since the dawn of time and to even SUGGEST that women have had the answer to brain waves and conceptualized thought with a brain one half the size of a mans (its science, look it up) is preposterous. You are just looking for tang by giving women too much credit. Or too LITTLE credit by saying they are simple creatures of habit and can be caught by shiny objects and following your stupid little steps. The human being is complex, men and women are both individuals and they should be treated as such, not lumped into a generic little box so you can explain your past shortfalls with the opposite sex.
My Response Now: Well, first of the first statement is false. I try not to toss out arbitrary numbers when giving examples but the fact that women are ten times better at reading body language is not only false but is irrelevant. If women were so good at reading body language they would be better at dodge lefts, rights and uppercuts from their asshole boyfriend/husband/babydaddy. Yes….I went there. To say all women know the situation they want and respond to stimuli the same is just a blanket statement. Now I say “all women love bros” which is false. I say all women PREFER bros because that is the norm but I also prefer schoolgirls because that is the norm for ME. Maybe I am giving women too much credit (Which I have done a lot recently) but I figure that women know that life doesn’t always work how you want and that sometimes you have to work within the situation or “outside the box” as corporations like to say. If women aren’t creative enough (Another rant right there) or open enough to maneuver through a situation as simple as a date without a preconceived notion on how they WANT it to go….how can a woman be an effective president? BURN! Whoo….that was cold blooded. Seriously, if I have to conform what I do to the wants of a woman, where is the relationship consensus in that? THAT is why relationships fail so often, IMHO.
“It is VITALLY important that you know EXACTLY how to go from one step to the next with a woman... from the first meeting, all the way to the bedroom.”
Now you see, this is where the vagueness begins. If this is an article SOLELY about hooking up with women then yes, it brings up valid points….albeit misguided. To look at this past just one time (Or two if you can stand to be around a woman that long) to me seems rather counter-intuitive. This article (I believe it was an article) speaks a lot to just guiding a woman by using their illogical though process into the bedroom…and no where past that. I personally believe that if you want to base a relationship off of the sexual aspects then be my guest. However, if you try to base the RELATIONSHIP aspect after the sex then you end up with a person you really know nothing about and you are kind of stuck with that person. Call me gay but I always thought you got to know someone and saw if they were someone you could see spending more than five minutes with before killing them and then sex happened AFTER that. If the prowess of ones sexual ability is enough to keep a relationship going despite major problems…you are kind of an asshat. Once again, that’s just my opinion.
So that is all for now. That was quite a post there. I will try to be back up tomorrow but if not I will be back up on Wednesday. Until then, stay up peeps.
Chachi Out.
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