Everyone join me in rooting for the Whales Vagina Chargers next week as they take on "Mo Bitches" Brady and the New England Patriots next Sunday! Also, a hand for Eli Manning striking a blow for the handi-capable! Because he is fucking retarded. "Duaaaaaahhhh, we won game! My brother is Peyton! I made boom-boom in pants!" Normally a win for Farve is a win for Mississippi but if I had to choose....
Go Packers.
Only the second time in history I have ever said that. Wait, Eli WENT TO MISSISSIPPI! Shit, I lose no matter WHO WINS! Oh, cruel irony!
Also….I miss The Rock:
My fucking god. That man is still my idol. If I was half as badass as The Brahma Bull, I would be knee deep in poontang right now. I’m saying it right now:
THE ROCK FOR PRESIDENT IN 2008!
Name ONE COUNTRY that would fuck with us if The Rock were president? I didn't think so. Stay up, peeps.
What is up, peeps! I am back on a Saturday morning, mainly because I am still sick as hell but I am getting a little bit better. I still feel like T-Pain looks, though. That nigga UGH-LAY! So yesterday for the seven minutes that I watch ESPN (I avoid that network like the plague once college football is over) I saw on PTI that next season they are renaming Jacob Field in Cleveland (where the Indians play if you cared which I know I didn’t) to Progressive Field. Progressive Field?! THE INSURANCE COMPANY?! God….this is why I am beginning to hate sports.
Now this trend has been going on for decades so it’s not like the naming of stadiums after random corporations is new. However, after a while it gets fucking stupid. Remember Candlestick Park? The home of the 4-time Super Bowl Champion San Francisco 49ers? The home of “The Catch”?:
Yeah, THAT catch. Well, it is no longer Candlestick Park. Now it’s Monster Field. MONSTER FIELD?! After the overpriced TV cables? WHAT THE FUCK, BELLANY?! WHAT THE FUCK?! Way to kill nostalgia, fuckers. Remember Mile High Stadium? Where the upper-deck used to sway due to rowdy fans (and shoddy workmanship. Guess there weren’t any Mexicans in front of the Home Depot) and the shape of the stadium felt like a pit to opponents? Well, say hello to Invesco Field….at Mile High. Now I couldn’t give a rats ass about the Broncos (Well, not the Broncos as much as John Elway. He can fucking die a slow death via bear rape for all I care. He will always be behind Joe Montana and Tom “Mo’ Bitches” Brady IMHO) but when people got upset about the name change, I could feel the anger. I mean is ruining a traditional name worth the 3 million a year that you get from the company that you name your stadium after? Hell, charge an extra dollar for hotdogs and bear and you will at a minimum double that number. I pay out the ass for sporting events anyway. I can honestly say that if I was a Bronco fan, I could have coughed up the extra dollar for something else if it meant I could keep the original stadium name. Call me a old coot if you want, I still prefer my NES over my Xbox360 so I am all about keeping it old school.
I understand from a business perspective the need for corporate sponsorship. It gives finances to the teams that allows for stadium upgrades, facilities for players, merchandise and other crap I could not care about because I go to game for the experience and not for the swag. The fact is that corporate sponsorship has taken over sports and it has gotten to be fucking annoying:
• Of the 31 NFL stadiums, only 13 are NOT named after a corporate sponsor. That number is 14 if you count Jacksonville Municipal Stadium, but it used to be ALLTEL stadium and they are currently looking for a sponsor. Chee-tos Field, anyone? • Of the 30 NBA arenas, only 4 are NOT named by a corporate sponsor. • Of the 30 MLB fields, only 11 are NOT named after a corporate sponsor. The Yankees and Twins are in the process of building new stadiums and they are shopping around the naming rights. • Of the 30 NHL teams, only 3 are NOT named by a corporate sponsor. However, hockey is “teh suck” so it doesn’t really matter. ZING!
It’s not just pro teams, either. The Louisville Cardinals play in Papa John’s Stadium (at Cardinal Field or some shit like that). I understand that Papa John’s is headquartered out of Louisville. But….it’s a third rate pizza chain! It’s like naming it Arby’s Arena or Shasta Stadium. Which is coming, I guarantee it. Come on people! Is money that damn important?!
The fact is that most (if not all) fans don’t care about the corporate branding of their stadiums. I luckily am a fan of a football team that hasn’t sold the stadium naming rights, but the first time I hear it called “Home Depot Dome” or hear Lambeau Field called “”Aunt Jemima Field at Lambeau” I may have to start shooting people. And I don’t want that. Although Aunt Jemima is some bomb as syrup. I prefer Uncle Jemima’s Mash Liquor, though:
All in all, I am just really sick of corporate advertising. Unless someone wants to sponsor the Passion of Chachi. What can I say? I’s a whore. I’ll be back next week with the first Doucheology! Until then, stay up peeps!
What is up, peeps! I am sick as hell right now so I will get into this quickly so I can lay the hell down. Its time for the…
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
We begin with a video from a first timer but it is featuring a Countdown veteran!
20. Zeebra feat May J & SPHERE OF INFLUENCE – Shinin’ Like A Diamond (New Entry)
Zeebra makes it to the Countdown for the first time! Initially I didn’t like this video because it felt like the world’s longest Snickers commercial. However, I love the beat (albeit a sample) and May J. is my baby boo. What can I say, I loves me some May J. 19. Yuna Ito – Urban Mermaid (Last Week #16) It seems Miss Ito is spending her last days on the Countdown. Not necessarily the best way to begin 2008 but here is hoping for (FINALLY) a new album from her at some point this year to get my fix. 18. UVERworld - Roots (New Entry)
FUCK YES! FUCK YES! FUCK YES!! UVERworld is finally back with a song to kick your ass into gear! After the lackluster “Ukiyo Crossing” it is good to see them go back to just rawking my face completely off. Welcome back, guys! 17. Mihimaru GT – I SHOULD BE SO LUCKY (Last Week #14) I am still waiting for some new Mihimaru as they fall another three spots this week. They have a new single coming out this month so I shouldn’t have to wait long. Unless they pull a Namie. Then I will have to kill someone. 16. Nelly Furtado – In God’s Hands (Last Week #19) Well, I would have to say that Nelly Furtado can lay claim to “Queen of the Countdown” with her current track record. I also just saw the “Loose” tour video and dammit I wish I could see her live. So damn fine, I swear. 15. One Republic feat. Timbaland – Apologize (Last Week #12) One Republic looks to not want to stay on the Countdown with no video for “Stop And Stare” in sight so far. Well, I guess thems the breaks. 14. NLT – I Said, She Said (Last Week #15) Boy bands in the house! NLT moves up one spot this week as they slowly make their way up the Countdown. Man, I never thought I would say this but I miss 1999. Boy bands were bad ass, no matter what people say about them. SoulDecision, bitches! 13. John Legend – Show Me (Last Week #17) You know what? It feels like old times. We got UVERworld, Nelly Furtado and John Legend on the Countdown at the same time for the first time in more than a year. They pretty much created the Countdown, so its good to see them all back. 12. TI feat. AlfaMega & Busta Rhymes - Hurt (Last Week #8) Speaking of Countdown mainstays, TI falls four spots this week and out of the Top 10. It is kind of a shame that he is under house arrest but that is what you get for being a dumbass. Here is to getting his life back in order. 11. Sowelu – Hikari (Last Week #13)
Yum-tastic! Sowelu moves up two spots and is one spot away from her second Top 10 video! I wonder if she has an album coming out soon. If she does, I will be all over that bad boy. Onto the Top 10! 10. Paramore – CrushCrushCrush (Last Week #7) We begin with Paramore who looks to have fallen short of reaching the top as they fall three spots this week. This is kind of a shock but the videos above this one are all a little better. Maybe Hayley will have something new for me soon. 9. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Amazing (Last Week #11) Heck yes! HAMC are moving up this week! It’s nice to see them laying off the ballads. I mean, I liked “Dreams” but I really prefer them when they are playing stuff like “Pride”. Now THAT is a fucking song. 8. Asian Kung-Fu Generation – After Dark (Last Week #5)
Asian Kung Fu Generation continues their surprising fall from the top this week. Being the first Bleach opening theme to not take the top spot is a little of a shocker but that doesn’t take away from the video itself. Oh, and I am getting sick of fake fucking torrents. If you tried to watch the Bleach Movie 2 torrent you will know what I mean. Disgusting. 7. Snoop Dogg – Sexual Seduction (Last Week #9) Snoop is making moves! I am just as shocked as you, but the Doggfather moves up two spots this week. Never did I think that Snoop Dogg would ever be this high on the Countdown. Then again, I never figured that he would make a video that didn’t suck either. First time for everything. 6. Lupe Fiasco feat Kanye West, Pharrell & Thom Yorke – Us Placers (Last Week #10)
So I have been listening to this song and watching this video non-stop over the last three weeks. Needless to say, it is that addictive. Lupe is underrated, Kanye kicks ass when he isn’t being political and Pharrell….just kind of stands there. In the end, it all works. Maybe kids ARENT evil. 5. Abingdon Boys School – Blade Chord (Last Week #6) TM and the posse are back where they belong! ABS gets their third Top 5 video and they are definitely looking for more. What is even more awesome is their album came out like a month ago so they are putting in WORK. Now for the shocker…. 4. NaNa – Movin’ On (Last Week #1, Six Weeks at #1) After a month and a half at the top….NaNa finally relinquishes the throne! It has been an awesome run since she dethroned Alicia Keys last year and she had been comfortably on top ever since. However, all things come to an end so NaNa falls three places to number four. That means we have a new number one! 3. NaNa – SHOW GIRL (Last Week #4)
Surprisingly enough, we have more NaNa! Her latest video looks to continue the success as “Showgirl” moves up a spot to the Top Three. This marks the third straight week that NaNa has made up 40% of the Top Five. That is quite a feat if I say so myself. Hot video, great dancing and damn….NaNa is fine. We are down to two! 2. Alicia Keys – Like You’ll Never See Me Again (Last Week #3)
Well look who it is! Alicia Keys makes her bid for a second number one video after the dominance that was “No One”. She had a huge year last year and this year is starting off just as good. Even still, she falls just short from the top this week. So who is the first new number one in over a month? 1.May J. – Do Tha, Do Tha (Last Week #2, One Week at #1)
HELLS YES! May J. gets her first number one video! After a pretty long journey she finally takes the top spot. Rightfully so, too. Have you SEEN THIS VIDEO?! My god it is fucking hawt! It is more than deserving of the number one spot and it is there for this week. Congratulations to May J!
Well, that is all for this week! Tune in next Friday to see if May J. can hold on to the number one spot for another week. Or can Alicia Keys reclaim her throne? Or will NaNa bounce back and have her second number one in three weeks? Find out next week!
Until then, I am out. Man, I feel like crap. I will be back this weekend with another rant hopefully.
No time to waste, I am late enough as is! I may be pregnant! You know what it’s time for…
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!
It is the first Countdown of the new year but we have an old video at number twenty!
20. Paramore – Misery Business (Last Week #16) Looks like it’s the end of the road for this video. It hit number two last year for two weeks and has been falling ever since. They currently have another video on here, let’s see if it can duplicate the success. 19. Nelly Furtado – In God’s Hands (New Entry)
Hmm…John Legend is back and now Nelly Furtado has returned! It’s like 2006 all over again! It’s interesting because I was figuring “What I Wanted” would be the next single bur here we are with this song which I ALSO LOVE. Not much she can do to anger me, I must say. Even still, this is a very cool vid. 18. Alicia Keys – No One (Last Week #15, Five Weeks at #1) Well, it was an awesome run but it looks to be over for another star. The fine Alicia Keys falls another three spots this week. The second biggest video of 2007 without a doubt will be on the 2008 Countdown 17. John Legend – Show Me (Last Week #20) John moves up a modest (for John, anyway) three spots this week. Don’t look now, but he has tied Yui with five videos on the Countdown! Can he break the record for most number one videos and get his fourth? Stay tuned to find out! 16. Yuna Ito – Urban Mermaid (Last Week #12) Yuna falls four big spots this week and there hasn’t been any word of a new album coming so needless to say I am a bit torqued about that. I’m just saying, I loves her. 15. NLT – I Said, She Said (Last Week #18)
Theys movin! NLT is moving up this week as they attempt to be the first boy band to make the Top 10! That is a shocker seeing how much I like boy bands but thems the breaks. 14. Mihimaru GT – I SHOULD BE SO LUCKY (Last Week #10) Where is the new video?! GIMME NOW! 13. Sowelu – Hikari (Last Week #14) Sowelu moves up one spot this week as she tries to follow up the success of “24 Karats” and pull the number one spot down. There is some old staples and new competition on the chart so we will see if she can do it. She is hot enough. 12. One Republic feat. Timbaland – Apologize (Last Week #7, Plunge of the Week)
One Republic falls out of the Top Ten as they fall the most spots this week. Still nothing new from them as of yet, though. 11. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Amazing (Last Week #13) In HAMC’s first foray into the Countdown they are making some big moves as they are knocking on the door of the upper half. Can they bring some rock to the Top 10? We are into the upper echelon! 10. Lupe Fiasco feat Kanye West, Pharrell & Thom Yorke – Us Placers (Last Week #17, Biggest Mover) The biggest mover in a long time! The combined might of Lupe, Kanye and Pharrell move up a huge seven spots to land in the Top 10. That gives Kanye the record of five Top 10 videos, breaking Yui’s record! Could 2008 be just as big for Kanye as 2007? Can Lupe be the breakout star of the year? Can Pharrell stand there and say stuff? Yes! 9. Snoop Dogg – Sexual Seduction (Last Week #11)
Dammit! Damn you, Snoop! I love this song so fricking much! Not gonna hold back, this video is damn good. It looks like Snoop did something that didn’t piss me off. Good work, Calvin. 8. TI feat. AlfaMega & Busta Rhymes - Hurt (Last Week #6) TI falls another two spots this week as it looks like his drought from the top spot continues. No word yet on much of anything from him as he looks to be under house arrest for a long….long time. 7. Paramore – CrushCrushCrush (Last Week #9) Two more spots this week for Paramore as they move closer to the Top Five. Can Hayley lead the guys past the runner up post? It’s gonna be hard because from this point on we are dealing with some really stiff competition. 6. Abingdon Boys School – Blade Chord (Last Week #8)
Now this is a familiar sight. ABS has moved closer to the top this week as they attempt to get their third video in the Top 5. I am hella excited for the next bit of work from Abingdon Boys School but some new TM Revolution would be a nice change of pace. We are left with five! 5. Asian Kung-Fu Generation – After Dark (Last Week #2) After holding on to the runner up position for two straight weeks, AKFG falls three big spots. This was still an impressive showing by a classing j-rock group that deserves to be up here. Sadly, like Orange Range they came up short. 4. NaNa – SHOW GIRL (Last Week #5) NaNa makes a short move this week, moving up one spot this week. I am beginning to like this video a TAD BIT more than “Movin On” because….damn, she is fine. The dancing is a lot better in the original but something about the showgirl outfit…damn. We are left with three! 3. Alicia Keys – Like You’ll Never See Me Again (Last Week #4)
Alicia moves into the Top Three! We were beginning to miss you baby. This video has finally grown on me to the point that I stop what I am doing to watch it. Most videos don’t do that because I download them all but….damn. She is looking good. 2. May J. – Do Tha, Do Tha (Last Week #3)
Once again, May J. moves up to number two! She was here last year around this time with “Here We Go” but failed to knock off Yui. This video is damn hot and May is damn fine (I even got a certain someone to agree). Will that and saucy dancing be enough to pull down the top spot? It wasn’t this week…. 1. NaNa – Movin’ On (Last Week #1, Six Weeks at #1)
….As the Queen is still here! NaNa holds on to the top spot for a SIXTH STRAIGHT WEEK! The first number one of 2008 is the same as the last one of 2007. This puts her ahead of Alicia Keys and Shakira for the longest reigning number one for a female and one week behind UGK & Outkast for the longest no-retroed! Not like it’s a surprise, this is one of the best! Congrats on the record!
That is all for now! I am out to cool off a bit because I am pissed the hell off. Tune in next week to see if NaNa can hold on to the top for the seventh consecutive week! Don’t forget, UGK did it with a break, not all in a row. Or will May J finally get her elusive number one video? Or will Alicia prove that she is the Queen of the Countdown with her second number one? It was almost an all ladies Top 5 this week, can they keep it up? See you next Friday, a lot earlier.
Man, Hawaii is getting their ass WHOOPED ON. How bout them Dawgs?! I found this link on Yahoo and I so didn’t put two-and-two together when I said "I know that name, and not from Hawaii":
So let me get this straight:
· Colt Brennan is a felon? · He went to CU-Boulder? · He got KICKED OFF the Buffs? Who the fuck gets kicked out of Boulder? I may be an alum but that team makes the Cowboys of the 90’s look like the fucking Osmonds. I kid! · He was a stalker? Wow, the Buffs sure could pick’em. Two words: Rae Carruth.
Nothing personal against him, I am sure he has cleaned himself up. Needs to learn how to take a hit though because the Bulldogs are IN HIS ASS tonight! Seven sacks and three picks so far shows that maybe Hawaii DOESN’T belong in the BCS. Nice to see them there. Also, after this performance if LSU and Oklahoma get housed we know what the championship game SHOULD HAVE BEEN:
USC Trojans Vs. Georgia Bulldogs
We’z wuz ROBBED! Aaaaaaand Colt Brennan got sacked again. Wow, I think he is dead. I’m out, be back Friday.
Hells yeah, people! It is New Year’s Eve and there is only one thing left on the blog to do before we ring in another year. It is time for the…
PASSION OF CHACHI YEAR END EXTRAVAGANZA!
The Biggest 100 Videos of 2007!
Let’s get the new year started off right!
100. K-OS – Sunday Morning
The Countdown begins with a video this spring/summer that shocked me with how original it was. I have been a K-OS fan for only a year or so but I was really all about this video for a while. A refreshing changed from “Grillz” I tell you what. 99. M-Flo loves Crystal Kay – Love Don’t Cry 98. Namie Amuro – Funky Town 97. Yui - Jam 96. Enrique Iglesias – Do You Know 95. 2Backka + Bennie K – Home 94. Chris Brown – Wall To Wall 93. J. Holiday – Bed 92. Tenjo Chiki (TSZX) – Pirhrana
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm, tastes GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! Maybe my favorite dance video not by NaNa or Kumi Koda. These girls can do a little bit of dancing I must say. They make me feel happy inside. 91. Snoop Dogg – Sexual Seduction 90. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Amazing 89. Yui - Understand 88. Abingdon Boys School – Blade Chord 87. Koda Kumi – Twinkle
This is one of two videos from Kumi Koda on this year’s Countdown! If you don’t know, my love/hate relationship with Kumi runs like this: I hate that I love her. I mean seriously, if she wore some clothes we could be something special. Then again….”Juicy” was hot. 86. Nas – Hip Hop Is Dead 85. Diddy feat Keisha Cole – Last Night 84. Paramore - Crushcrushcrush 83. Game – Let’s Ride 82. AI – I’ll Remember You 81. Chamillionare – Hip Hop Police 80. Mihimaru GT – I SHOULD BE SO LUCKY 79. Dj Khaled feat TI, Rick Ross, Fat Joe, Birdman, Lil Wayne & Akon – We Takin Over 78. Common feat Lily Allen – Driving Me Wild 77. Gackt – RETURNER ~Yami no Shuuen~ 76. ERIKA – Free
This video was surprisingly one of my favorites of 2007. Although it took me a minute to realize innuendo flies at her face at a 12 second clip, but I really like the song and it is actually one of the few new artists I feel bad about leaving out of the Chachi Music & Video Awards. She has a surprisingly nice voice for the former model turned singer sect (Leah Dizon…I am looking at you). 75. L`Arc~en~Ciel – My Heart Draws A Dream 74. Daughtry – Over You 73. Monkey Majik feat m-flo – Picture Perfect
One of M-Flo’s many videos on the Countdown this year. 2006 was HUGE for M-Flo and although his album came out this year, it has been a little slow for him. Even still, this video was awesome and the song was the ringtone for a while for a certain someone. I was so LAAAAAAAME. 72. Gym Class Heroes – Clothes Off 71. LM.C – Boys & Girls 70. Three Days Grace – Never Too Late 69. Fall Out Boy – Thnks Fr Th Mmrs 68. TI – Big Things Poppin’ 67. Tomboy – Superstar
Mmmm. A slew of Japanese women scantily clad and dressing provacativly? Hell, 90% of my dreams are like this video any-damn-way. Needless to say…I like a lot. 66. Soulja Boy – Crank That [Soulja Boy] 65. Teriyaki Boyz feat Kanye West – I Used To Love H.E.R. 64. Kumi Koda – Get Up & Move! 63. Amy Winehouse - Rehab 62. May J – Do Tha’ Do Tha’ 61. Daddy Yankee feat. Fergie – Impacto 60. Hinoi Team – Dancin’ and Dreamin’ 59. GreeeeN - Ai Uta
It may be a shocker that this video is so high without charting but this was my jam for about three months this summer. I could never find a video for this damn song! Mainly because I had it spelled wrong in Japanese and couldn’t translate. Even still, this is a good little tune. 58. One Republic feat. Timbaland – Apologize 57. UVERworld – Kimi no Suki na Uta 56. Rich Boy – Throw Some D’s 55. Home Made Kazoku – Nagaraboshi ~Shooting Star~ 54. Yuna Ito – Urban Mermaid 53. Game feat Kanye West – Wouldn’t Get Far 52. John Legend - Heaven (One Week at #1) 51. Halcali – Look 50. Omarion – Ice Box 49. John Legend – Stereo 48. Foxxi MisQ feat. Miss Monday – Party Booty Shake
The summer of 2007 was officially the summer of Foxxi MisQ! A kick ass album from a girl group is something we haven’t seen since….CrazySexyCool. That is sad, BTW. This video is hot, especially Dem. No, that is her name. 47. Bennie K – 1001 Nights 46. NaNa – SHOW GIRL 45. Back-On – Flower 44. UVERworld – Shaka Beach~Laka Laka La~ 43. Young Jeezy – I Luv It 42. Justin Timberlake feat TI – My Love 41. Rebelde – Ser O Parecer
You know, I thought really hard about not putting RBD on after not showing to the Denver date on their tour. However….I can’t stay mad at Anahi. My love for her is too strong. Also…NEW RBD VIDEO! New for 2008! Muy bueno! 40. Hearts Grow – Himawari 39. Orange Range – Ika Summer 38. Paramore – Misery Business 37. Foxxi MisQ feat Zeebra – Luxury Ride 36. Avril Lavigne – Girlfriend 35. Evanescence – Lithium 34. Yui – Love Or Truth 33. UVERworld – Zero no Kotae
So UVERworld, despite having no number one videos in 2007, still places three videos on the Year End Countdown. After having three videos in the TOP 10 of 2006, that is a bit of a drop off I must say. GIVE ME MORE OF THE ‘WORLD! 32. Alicia Keys – Like You’ll Never See Me Again 31. Nelly Furtado – Do It 30. Kanye West feat. T-Pain – GoodLife 29. Abingdon Boys School – Nephilim 28. Asian Kung-Fu Generation – After Dark 27. Rascal Flats – Stand
Arguably the sleeper band of the Countdown, Rascal Flatts always sneaks into the Top Three every time out. After hitting number one last year, this video fell behind the juggernaught that was Maroon 5 this year but still made an impressive showing for 2007. Here is hoping for something new for 2008! 26. TI feat. AlfaMega & Busta Rhymes – Hurt 25. Bennie K – Joy Trip (One Week at #1) 24. Common – The People 23. Yui – My Generation 22. Bi – I’m Coming
You know what? Bi has never had a number one video?! That is shocking as all hell! This video came very close, but got help off for two weeks by Nelly Furtado’s “Say It Right”. You know I am hoping he gets an English single on the “Speed Racer” soundtrack. That would kick ass. Oh, and if you don’t like this video something is fucking wrong with you. Seriously. 21. Sowelu, EXILE & DOBERMAN INC – 24 Karats (One Week at #1) 20. L’Arc~en~Ciel – SEVENTH HEAVEN (One Week at #1) 19. Yui – CHE.R.RY (One Week at #1) 18. Abingdon Boys School – Howling (One Week at #1) 17. May J. feat M-Flo – Here We Go 16. EXILE – Lovers Again 15. Yuna Ito – I’m Here (One Week at #1) 14. Kanye West feat Daft Punk – Stronger (One Week at #1)
Kanye FINALLY CAME BACK this year! Everyone knows I am a Kanye fan so when this came out you knew it was a hit song. Then came the video and you KNEW it was going to be awesome. With four videos on the Year End Extravaganza, it is evident that Kanye had one of the biggest years in 2007. 13. Mihimaru GT – Gazen Yeah! (Two Weeks at #1) 12. Daughtry – It’s Not Over (Two Weeks at #1) 11. TI feat Young Jeezy, Young Dro, Big Kuntry & BG – Top Back [Remix] (Two Weeks at #1) 10. Maroon 5 – Makes Me Wonder (Three Weeks at #1)
We begin the Top 10 of 2007 with Maroon 5! They set the summer off right with this video, their first in over two and a half years. They topped the chart for three weeks in June, knocking off Yuna Ito’s “I’m Here”. I was all about this song because of you-know-what and all I can say is that it said what I needed to say. That and I like Maroon 5. We move on to arguably the biggest artist of 2007! 9. Yui – Rolling Star (Three Weeks at #1)
In December of 2006, this video debuted solely on the fact I loved “Life” from her and it was the opening to Bleach. By January, it was on top of the Countdown and set off the biggest year any artist has had ever! The first of four videos to make it to the Top Three from Yui in 2007, this was by far my favorite. You listen to this and not get happy then you also hate puppies and support terrorism. There, I said it. You hate Yui and the terrorists win. Good job, commie bastard. 8. Namie Amuro – Baby Don’t Cry (Three Weeks at #1)
So from Feburary until March, I was all about this song and video. Mostly because I waited like…20 millenia for her damn “Play” album which was worth the wait but still. This video reminds me of a simpler time in 2007, when all was right with the world. That and Namie is hot as hell. 7. Nelly Furtado – Say It Right (Three Weeks at #1)
This song came out at the end of 2006 and quickly became number one. While I was at The Q, I watched this video non-stop and it was soon my favorite song…although I didn’t know what the hell she was talking about. Either way, she ended TI’s reign at the top and proceeded to continue her big year from 2006 in 2007. Next, we get into arguably my favorite song of the year. 6. nobodyknows+ - Hero’s Come Back (Four Weeks at #1)
HELLS YES! This song actually made me give a fuck about Naruto again. The first time I heard the full version I lost my mind and by the time the video came out you pretty much knew it was going to rock your face off. It only took THREE WEEKS to hit number one (fastest ever) and stayed there for a full month. So, what kept these guys out of the Top 5 of 2007? Well…. 5. Aqua Timez – Alones (Four Weeks at #1)
All I needed to hear from Zach was this “HOLY FUCK, IT’S AQUA TIMEZ ON THE NEW BLEACH!” and I was all about this song. After a two month wait for this video, when it finally hit it seemed underwhelming but combined with the song itself it totally works. This video took 4 weeks to hit number one and stayed there for a full month. What separates this from nobodyknows+ was the link to the “Ichigo vs. Grimmjaw I” and the end of the shit in Bleach, albeit temporarily. Not only that, the actual message in the song is pretty damn good to boot. MESSAGE! Next, have we crowned a new King of the Countdown? 4. John Legend – PDA (We Just Don’t Care) [Four Weeks at #1]
For the second straight year, John Legend has a video land on the Year End Extravaganza Countdown. As a matter of fact, he is the only returning artist from 2006 to the Top 10 which shows great staying power. This video was the best of the spring IMHO and although America seems to love R. Kelly more than John Legend, it was good to see good R&B back. Made me feel good about myself. We are down to the THREE BIGGEST VIDEOS OF 2007! 3. NaNa – Movin On (Five Weeks at #1, Current Number One Video)
Now this was a shocker to me as well but I cannot deny the hold that NaNa has had over myself and the Countdown over the last four months. What seemed like a nice little J-R&B video just took over and even though she was only on at the end part of the year she STILL is able to pull a spot as one of the three biggest videos of the year! Great dancing, a catchy song, a very capable voice and the face of an angel puts her with the legends this year. Even more awesome, this video could be in the Top 10 of 2008 because she is still at number one! We are now left with two.... 2. Alicia Keys – No One (Five Weeks at #1)
My…god….yes! From the first time I heard this song I knew the video was going to be hot. I couldn’t be any more wrong…er. The video was FIY-YAH! Alicia came back strong in 2007 with this video, quickly moving up the Countdown and holding the number one position for five weeks and even survive a dogfight with NaNa before bowing out. This was the hottest video of the year in both awesomeness and sexiness because Alicia Keys radiates sexy like Nick Cannon radiates worthlessness. That leaves one video to rule them all. And could it be any other video? 1.UGK feat Outkast – International Players Anthem (Seven Weeks at #1, Non-consecutive)
I CHOOSE YOU! There isn’t another person out there, whether you love hip hop or hate it, that can deny this wasn’t the video of the year. Even before the untimely passing of Pimp-C this video was my favorite it showed the summer, as this video was at number one for five straight weeks before being knocked off by L’Arc~en~Ciel. Then, they took the top spot AGAIN for another two weeks! Combine that with the best verse of the year from Andre 3000 (I dare anyone to argue that. All of Lil’ Wayne’s work pales to that frickin intro) and everyone stepping their game up and you have the anthem for the return of hip hop. You also have the biggest video of 2007.
That is all for this year! Everyone have a safe New Year’s Eve and a great 2008! I will be back on Friday (maybe Wednesday, I am not sure yet) for the first Countdown of 2008. Until then, stay up peeps!
What is up, fools! There are only two days left! After that, it is off to another shittier year as 2008 officially begins! However, before then it is time for a little bit of year in review! Grab your lunch, make sure all your hands are inside the windows and prepare to go on the ride of your life as it is time for the...
CHACHI’S YEAR IN REVIEW OMNIBUS!!!
Let’s get this party started right!
Question #1: What Was The Biggest Story Of The Year?
Wow, that’s a doozy. Well if you mean the biggest story all around I would have to go with the Virginia Tech shooting in April I think. As I said in my blog about it, there becomes a point where senseless violence is just sadly way of life and to become consumed by its disturbing effects will just tear you down. As much as I am for all the rights we have, the fact is that guns have two fucking purposes:
• Changing channels (ELVIS RULES, BITCHES!) • Killing things (People, animals or as Richard Pryor proved cars)
With that being said, life is what it is as painful as it is…you have to accept it. People will be stupid and some people believe that hurting others will make their pain stop or they theygain pleasure by causing others pain and grief. Now I made many Korean jokes about the massacre at the time (and still will, personal reasons) but the fact is that violence is and will be here (by here I mean America so man up and deal with it) and while being accepting of it doesn’t lessen its’ impact emotionally, it does prepare you to cope and come up with a solution for said event that happens. Quite simple, coping and fixing is all you can do because bitching about gun laws and safety won’t help. Too many rednecks and conservatives love their guns and follow the laws like radical Islam follows the Quran (Odd, they should actually get to know each other because they both have a lot in common by being fucktards) so they aren’t going anywhere. Like I said before danceoffs fix ALL :
Pretty much between the US and A, Korean, Japan and India. I give the advantage to India and you know why. Look up “crazy Indian dance” on YouTube. I’ll wait. Told you, they are the global superpower of getting down. Anyway, the Virginia Tech was the biggest story of the year in this country as a whole if you look at it in terms of significance although it wasn’t the one that effected me the most emotionally.
Question #2: Okay, Candyass. What Was YOUR Biggest Story Of The Year?
Two words. A first name and a surname. A name that it hurts me to say with each breath because of his heinous act. I looked up to this man with everything because he showed me that with hard work and struggle you can achieve your dreams. He made me believe in a sport that I was throughally disgusted with at the time. When tragedy hit his circle in 1999, I cried along with him. When he won his first championship with his best friend on the grandest stage of them all, I cried with him. I followed his career for as long as I can remember and as lame is it sounds he is one of the few atheletes I looked up to. Hell, typing this is almost bringing me to fucking tears and I NEVER FUCKING CRY BECAUSE I AM A MAN, BABY! No, it’s not Michael Vick (But more on his stupid ass later). It’s…
Chris Benoit
Yes, I am a wrestling fan and have been since birth. Living overseas kind of does that because you get a lot of IWGP and Catch Wrestling Association (BIG VAN VADER, FOOL!) is I saw a lot of Benoit. When I first heard he no showed the pay-per-view I honestly thought the worst. Not going to lie to you, I did. The man was a total professional at work and (I thought, anyway) his personal life. He came to Denver and Colorado Springs I believe twice and both times I didn’t get to go because I can’t go to a wrestling event by myself and no one aside from Griff that I know likes wrestling. Either way, before what happened with his family I EASILY had him in my Top 7 wrestlers of all time. If not the Top 5 if I base it just off wrestling and not charisma and the total package. He was awesome in the ring and if you like wrestling it would be to easy to see why he was so respected by fans and peers. However, it is obvious the man was not mentally stable and he needed help. People like to blame steroids (which is not impossible but highly un-fucking-likely) but the fact is that that his life was going bad and he picked a cowardly and violent way to end it for himself and his family. It is a shame because you couldn’t find anyone out there that had a negative word about the man, fan or peer. Now, no one will even acknowledge his presence (Vincent Kennedy McMahon, I am looking at you but rightfully so. He is in an awkward position) and when they do much like me, it is in distain or confused rage. We will never know why it happened, but we know what happened. Based on that, Chris Benoit will never be looked at the same, especially by his biggest fans. Rather than an idol, he will be looked a (tragically) as a monster who could not handle the stress of his life and the (rumored?) crumbling of his family situation and took a disturbing way out and to his innocent family with him. *sigh* These are my heroes.
Enough with the sad stuff, the bus is going to happy town!
Question #3: What Was The Best Moment Of The Year?
WICKED!
Without a fucking doubt! Well, the first time I heard Abingdon Boys School’s album is a close second and The Little Mermaid: A Pre-Broadway Engagement comes an even closer third (2/26/2008 is the release date! Mark it down!) but man…I had wanted to see Wicked for I believe three years before I finally got to go. I was going to go in 2005 but that fell through because I was NOT spending $175 on a ticket. Fuck that. I didn’t get tickets in 2006 because I don’t think they were here and in retrospect I was too busy being a sniveling bitch to care. So this year I got ticket hella early (and STILL didn’t get hella good ones) but I was in a box which was AWESOME! After hearing the soundtrack every day on my iPod when I didn’t have to reformat it and borrow the CD from Zach again I was totally ready for this. And I went….and it was better than everything I ever dreamed of. Even better than sex with a white woman. It was fan-fucking-tastic. While I am on the kick…Kristin Chenoweth is fucking HAWT: There goes my 40 year old woman thing again. Eh, fuck off it’s what I likes. Man of extremes, as long as its legal its G2G. Either way, Wicked was the best moment of 2007 for me. Although….The Little Mermaid did have “She’s In Love”:
Even in poor quality, that was bad ass. Now where were some other kick ass moments in 2007. Here is quick rundown:
• Barry Bonds breaking the homerun record (You reap what you sow, baseball. Fuck you) • “One Shall Stand, One Shall Fall!” (God…I nearly lost my shit at the end of Transformers) • Sebastian the Crab (Tituss Burgess) pretty much owning “Under The Sea”
Fuck YES! • Devin Hester owning the Broncos. My god, I was watching at Good Company and man that dude is electric. • Ichigo vs. Grimmjaw Jaggerjaques I, II & III. If you haven’t seen Part III, it is well worth the wait to see it in the anime but if you can’t wait, check out the manga. • Benny Lava! I know that isn’t his real name, but by any name it means bad ass:
• Maximus Gloriosus! “A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum” is better live than it is listening to it on the way to Dave & Buster’s with Niklas and Nolan. • THIS….IS….SPARTA!!!!!! Nuff’ said. • The second season of The Sarah Silverman Program. I don’t think she is all that funny, but she stepped her funny up for the second season. Abortions? Abortsia? Priceless! • The Bi ”I’m Coming Tour DVD”. My god….HAWTEST DVD EVER. • Boondocks second season. Could do without Riley using the n-word every other word but man…sometimes you gotta let it burn:
CAR!!!!
Overall, nothing tops Wicked although Abingdon Boys School and The Little Mermaid really tried to. And start watching “Pushing Daisies” you worthless fuckers! I am sick of the only good shows on TV being cancelled because people are too busy watching shit like “I Love New York” and “Lost”. You should be shot in the face. Kristin Chenoweth should be enough to make you watch:
In the famous words of Ron Burgundy…go fuck yourselves America. Go fuck yourselves hard for not watching good TV.
Can I get a whoop-whoop?! Because the bus is moving on!
Question #4: So, What Are Your REAL Feelings About Mike Vick?
Fuck him. Not prison rape style; that is inevitable. I mean as a fucking person. You know, the moral aspect of killing dogs goes on a per person basis. How I feel about dog fighting is that it is illegal. That is it. So should yours, PETA needs to be fucking eaten by polar bears. Ethics, unless it comes to peeing on minors, are all bullshit because they change depending on what a person feels is right and wrong. I proved people are inherently stupid (Americans mostly but it fits for everyone) so that means that ethics are stupid. I rule, you suck. It’s good to be me. That being said, Mike Vick lied to the fans and lied to the law. That is it. He was charged with a crime, said he didn’t do it, saw the evidence and then came clean. People do that shit all the time. Fuck them, too. He lied and broke the law and that should be the end of everyone’s issue with the guy. At the end of the day, what he eats don’t make me shit so let him serve his time and go on with his dumbass life. Lying to his fans is another aspect altogether and again, that will be left up to each individual to decide whether they forgive him for lying but that again is partly an ethical thing and I have gotten over that. The court of public opinion is stupid and frivolous (Kobe Bryant, anyone?) especially when it comes to sports so if he goes somewhere in 2009/2010 and helps them win then all is forgiven and people will be like “what dogs?” Don’t forget, Ray Lewis STABBED A DUDE and no one remembers that because he won Baltimore a Super Bowl. Randy Moss and Terrell Owens have been a malcontents and/or fucktards everywhere they have gone and because their current teams are front-runners for the Super Bowl the double-fisted hand jobs they are getting from the fans (and surprisingly the media) would make Jesse Jane take notes. So at the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter what I think about Mike Vick because the court of law has made its decision and the court of sports is based on wins and losses. Personally, I want him to play again because once you pay your debt to society you deserve a CHANCE to move on. Fuck ethics, if the world was based on ethics we would all be shot in the face for SOMETHING so get off your fucking high horse. Unless you pee on minors in which NIGGA YOU NASTY:
I still find that very humorous.
What is that? We got another stop on the Omnibus?! Lay it on me!
Question #5: What Are Some Things You Want To See End In 2008?
Wow, that is a good ass question! Big ups to Allen from Honolulu! Well, let us run down a few things I want to see end in 2008:
1. Prison Break. The show is good, I admit. But….maybe you should stop doing shit to get you put in a fucking prison. I mean, its been three seasons! Anyone heard of the “Three Strikes” law?! 2. Bono getting eaten by the starving children. Just seems like the greatest irony ever. Even better than Clarence Carter’s death by “strokin”. 3. No more High School Musical. That may be shocking coming from me, but man you are trying to get friction from the vagina of a whore with this one. Like driving a Mini-Cooper through a hangar. Let it die, after the second one (which wasn’t all that good but it was okay) they need to fucking stop. 4. Saw movies. For fucks sake, WHO IS WATCHING THIS SHIT?! I mean fucking seriously?! What is wrong with you braindead assholes?! 5. AIDS in Africa. Okay, here we go: STOP FUCKING. I know it has been said, but seriously. If you ate as much as you fucked you would be healthy as shit. With AIDS, but still your ass wouldn’t be fucking hungry anymore. I must be missing something but I would rather have key lime pie than about 97% of all women, let alone AIDS infested. I mean, key lime pie never gave me a scare of a cold sore. Women have. 6. Jay–Z/Beyonce. Just stop. Please. 7. People taking 2Pac/Notorious BIG songs. The next nigga that does this shit is getting shot. I don’t care anymore. Call it a threat but I am sick of this shit. Especially Biggie. THE MAN HAD TWO FUCKING ALBUMS WORTH OF GOD DAMN MATERIAL!! I mean, Pac still has songs we haven’t heard so that is logical but still fucking annoying. And he really wasn’t better than Pac anyway. There, I said it. Bring it the fuck on. 8. Turks. You know why. 9. Mandy Moore being hot. Stop it. Seriously. You are keeping me from loving women. GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
10. T-Pain. Big ups on your new movie. Heard AVP2 is pretty bad ass. BURN! 11. DJ Khaled. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU DO?! I hate you and I hope you get eaten by Rick Ross.
There are some other things, but these are the biggies. Let’s keep this bus moving cuz I got thangs to DO!
Question #6: What Are Things You Want To See More Of In 2008
I am GLAD YOU ASKED little Jessica from Portland!
1. NaNa. I love you.
2. Hip Hop not sucking. TI, Kanye West, Common, Talkib Kweli, Lupe Fiasco and UGK all released hot albums in 2007. With more TI, a Lil Wayne album and an OUTKAST ALBUM coming soon this could be the year hip hop makes its comeback. About fucking time, Nelly and Fiddy have been fucking it up for way too long. Rest In Peace, Pimp-C. Sweet Jones. 3. The Rebuilding of R&B. John Legend, Anthony Hamilton and Jill Scott tried to save it but too many shirtless niggas crying about women and talking about how sexy they are kind of put another nail in the coffin. Let us not forget about The King of R&Pee. Hopefully we can get some Angie Stone, D’Angelo (if he lays off the crack) and Erykah Badu to begin the rebuilding stages. 4. Comic book movies with real stars/directors. With The Dark Knight, Iron Man and a revamped The Incredible Hulk, comic book movies are back. We will still get a Ghost Rider or Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer but you have to go through a few duds before you get a gem. 5. NLT. Boy bands are BACK, BITCHES! I mean that with the upmost respect, to all bitches.
6. Good anime. Where in the hell is the new stuff?! Since Darker Than Black and the new Gundam (to which I am “meh” because the best part about Gundam is the music) the cupboard has been bare! 7. Usher. Where in the fuck is Usher? This is getting real old, dude! Give me another “Yeah” by April or the puppy gets it! I aint fucking around! 8. Alicia Keys. See NaNa, multiply by 52,878,941,239 and spin around twice. Makes me regret swearing off women for 2008, but not like I will ever meet her. If I did…I would probably just pass the hell out. Just perfect in every way 9. Justin Timberlake. I said some mean things to you after the Price incident but I am sorry. It’s just Prince is Prince and I got defensive. It’s okay, you can come home! 10. May J. Mmmmmmmmm, tastes goooooooooooooooooooood!!!!
If you don’t want some of that, something is wrong with you. 11. Bi (Rain). The only reason Korea should exist aside from BoA. I am totally looking forward to Speed Race solely for him. Again, if you don’t want some of that something is wrong with you. I mean….if Korean hawties are your thing. Not mine, I like boobies.
Oh, and give me a little more Yui and I should be good for 2008. I miss my baby!
I know you are sad as well, but it is time for the last Omnibus stop of the year!
Question #7: At The End Of The Day, What Did You Learn In 2007?
Jimmy of Birmingham, Alabama….this one is for you! Although I am surprised you were able to compose such a coherent bunch of words. They’s reading in the Souf! Well, I learned some things this year. What did I learn you ask?
• I learned that I am a total fashionista. I had no idea I was such an accessory whore. • People really….really….really….just don’t like me. It’s weird, I give of the aura of “FUCK THAT NIGGA!” or something because man, I get the mean much from men and women 24/7. • I look damn good. Mostly for myself because people don’t care but dammit…I am one sexy bitch! I work it like a rib at a family cookout when it comes to looking funky fresh dressed! • I am incapable of love. That and I love too much which really makes for some awkward moments. • Nothing hotter than a crazy woman. Damn it…just hot. Glad I’m swearing them off. • Still don’t like bros. Hide your scotch! • I have accepted being a nerd. Took two years, but it is what it is.
My god…I may have to do that dance at NDK or something. Nerds get that song. If you aint a nerd, you are an r-tard!
Well, the Omnibus has made its rounds and it is time to park at the terminal until 2008. It has been an awesome year this year for the Passion of Chachi Blog (and to a lesser extent my MySpace blog). Although I have posted a LOT less this year (Only 194 times, not including the Year End Extravaganza) a lot more was said, more fun was had and the rants were a lot better than my original work. Correct me if I am wrong. I want to thank you for the time you spend on my blog looking at my bitching and other posts. A really big thank you for making Douchebrawl as big as it was last year (Hey, I am happy with 900 people voting seeing as I only have three friends that don’t owe me money) and here is hoping that it will be bigger in 2008. I want to thank all the people that pissed me off, broke my heart and gave me inspiration this year to give me the fuel for the fire to keep on producing the rants. I want to thank the people who enjoy the J-pop enough to frequent the blog each Friday. I know I don’t say this enough…if at all because I am all about the Deuce but….
THANK YOU, PEEPS.
The Year End Extravaganza will be up tomorrow afternoon or morning as I will either be in Denver or party hopping tomorrow night. I will try to post on New Year’s Day if I am coherent (like that has stopped me. Every post in 2006 I was probably drunk or drinking) but I will most def be back on Friday for the first Countdown of 2008. Doucheology 101 will also be up next week (Earlier than last year, but I want this to be BIG so I am putting more time into it) so stay tuned! Until next year, stay up peeps.
What is up, peeps! The Countdown came a week early but don’t worry. It will be on your normal Friday schedule next week! The reason it came a day early is I have done something that I have never done. I am actually going to make some changes this year. No, not resolutions because those are for pussies. I am making massive changes. Overhauls if you will. I am going all out because everything sucks and it is time to follow my own advice and man up. It…..is REVOLUTION TIME, BITCHES! So, for the first time ever, I give to you….
Chachi’s New Year’s Revolutions!
New Year’s Revolution #1: Drink More, Eat Less.
Yes, the Deuce is going to attempt to slim down. It isn’t for others as much as I really, REALLY like fashion. I have been slimming down SOME but I am just thinking about hitting up the full blown crack. I mean I know it is not going to happen overnight and I know I have to cut back on the key lime pie (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!) but at the same time, I want to shop in the regular people store. And I don’t want to be that guy that is so fucking fat that he sweats when he talks and gets winded masturbating. I will be doing that way too much to get tired each time (more on that later).
To go along with that, I am going to drink a hell of a lot more. My logic is this: my alcohol tolerance is pretty high right now at this weight so if I drink more to go along with my eventual weight loss, by the time I hit a reasonable weight I should be impervious the effects of alcohol! My logic is flawless! Not only that, by Spring I should be on my own in which every night is a SLUMBER PARTY! Man, I am never going to catch a wife with that attitude. With that being said….
New Year’s Revolution #2: No More Women? Guess It’s Time To Find Me A Collie…
Yes, I am swearing off women for 2008. Well, actually since I was having no luck with the ladies to BEGIN WITH, I guess it’s more just maintaining the status quo rather than giving them up. It has gotten to the point now that like Beavis I am never gonna score. That old dude over there has scored a thousand times and look at me. Sans bitch, as the French like to say. I used to think it wasn’t fair and women were just stupid. They are, don’t get that shit twisted. Women have the brain capacity of an ADD stricken ferret and their logic is just as fucked up (I’m not a whore although I fuck dudes for material gain and skewed self worth! Um….that’s the DEFINITION of whore actually).
However, it is more my fault than theirs because rather than just be myself I try to change and therein lies the biggest issue. You shouldn’t have to change yourself to find someone and be happy in my opinion. Now if you like to be slathered in Dijon mustard and fucked up the ass by a marmot while your girlfriend plays “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us” by Jefferson Starship on your slathered back fat like bongos…then yes you may need to work on some shit before you can settle down with “the one”. At the end of the day, aside from being overweight (and some people find fat folks sexy. Not me because I’m not fat, I’m just livin large!) and a nerd I really don’t personally feel I have many major flaws. I mean, I’m not T-PAIN ugly (Where it literally hurts to look at him), although money makes anyone look good. Women that say it doesn’t is a fucking liar. Explain Akon. I mean I dress well, am cultured and always smell nice. Now I have ALSO learned that women see this as being “gay” but that is fine because it isn’t for them. I look good for the Deuce….and Bi if he would ever return my calls. What I am saying is that I try to be a normal dude and it has gotten me nowhere but brokenhearted and confused about what the hell is going on. *Sigh*, I need a fucking encyclopedia:
Peach Girl, you always know how to say it. Yeah, watching THAT is going to help catch me a fine lady.
The phrase “nice guy” is bullshit because I am not nice. My problem is that I am too much like myself….and myself is a dick. I don’t TRY to be a dick but what I do and say is seen is pretentious, mean and elitist. Oh, sexist and racist but that is a given. Back to the point; I have decided that maybe it is time for me to take a step back from women and figure out what the hell my issue is that only brings on:
• Women over the age of 35 (Which is now beginning to get fucking annoying) • Women under the age of 21 (Which is now beginning to get REAL fucking annoying) • Women with boyfriends/husbands that use me to make them jealous (BULLSHIT!) • Crazy women (Who I love, but man I shouldn’t. Crazy bitches are my “bad boy that can’t be tamed”) • Gay men (O_o) Yes….this is weird. Almost like God is trying to tell me something.
So with all that said….the Deuce is going to be lonely in 2008. Not like that is changed from what my life is NOW but at least now I know why it’s happening. But I will survive!
Okay…that is fucked up. So this year is about coming to grips with myself and finding out whether I am capable of love at all. The answer is probably “no” but at least I can say I tried.
New Year’s Revolution #3: Simmer Down?
As all of you know, I don’t like any races. Hell, I don’t really like much of anyone right about now that breaking them down by race takes too long and gives them way to much of my time. However, maybe its about time I laid off some of the people out there. I mean, I am kind of a jerk. Okay, I am a total asshole and I need to simmer down. It is a big catalyst for me being single (Women don’t like being told about how big of a dipshit they are being, no matter how right you are. They are stupid creatures that way) and it really alienates me to having…..three friends? And Griff but that is more because I really will need a liver and a kidney and he is a pretty healthy cat. So from this point forward, I am going to try to be nicer to people. As much as people need to be told to fuck the hell off, I won’t be the one to do it anymore. In the end, I just want acceptance and the easiest way to get that is to kind of be a pussy or a woman-abuser and (sadly) I am neither.
Or maybe not. The fact is when I was a senior in college, I was kind of awesome. People liked me because I was bad ass, not because I was a dick. I was just as jaded, but nowhere near as bitter or heartbroken. Back then, I didn’t care about women and for some reason they thought that was hot. I still don’t get that one because I was in the women’s advocacy group and took women’s studies classes (yes, I could have had a minor if it existed then) and I really didn’t like them. I was respected by black people instead of thought of as gay or bourgeois. Quite simply, I was about the Revolution. What sucks is every time that shit gets rough I go back to that style for about three months but I meet a woman or get a job that just pisses me off to no end and I go to being one cut arm away from being emo. Fuck that shit. Those days are over. It is time….to put some stank on it as Ike Turner would say. This time, the Revolution will not die with money or with the pretenses of love. The Revolution will only die if I get tang! Since that aint gonna happen with a woman’s consent without money involved, it is back and back for a long time! We also have a new theme song for The Revolution. It was TI’s “Bring Em Out” and when I was going to bring the Revolution back before I pondered a new theme. Well, I have found it. The theme for the new Revolution….is DJ DOC’s “Run To You”!
Or DJ OZMA’s “Bounce With Me”
Two songs, two languages, one message. ITS REVOLUTION TIME, BITCHES! That and it is time to do funky fresh dances, which is what the revolution is about for the most part.
New Year’s Revolution #5: Who Needs Love, When You Have Porn?
With swearing off women, this was a very difficult decision to make. However, it had to be done.
I AM GIVING UP PORN….MOSTLY.
I am severely cutting down my porn intake. It has dropped off significantly in the last two years (About the time I began to notice that women actually paid attention to me) but now I am deciding that maybe it isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Heh….crack. Anyway, at the end of the day, porn is just really unfulfilling. So after December 31st, 2007 I will be officially be damn near pornless. I say nearly because I am keeping some of my Jasmine Byrne. I need something to get me through the lonely nights….which are every night since I am swearing off women for a while until I find out what the hell my malfunction is. Either way, I am deleting my smut mainly because it gets kind of (or is always) repetitive. It is almost always:
• Kissing • Oral • Oral • Missionary • Spooning (I think that’s what it is called. Never done it naked so…I’m believing Nicole) • Cowgirl • Reverse Cowgirl • Close-up on Cowgirl (God…I really need to get out the house) • Anal (This used to be taboo. Now I see this at Wal-Mart. Anal Wednesday Madness!) • Oral, Sometimes Ass-To-Mouth (Wow…I REALLY NEED TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE) • Money Shot (Yatzhee!)
Needless to say, not a lot of variety. I don’t want to get into the weird stuff (bondage, GGG, etc) because that doesn’t arouse me as much as scare me from ever wanting to have” teh sex”. So for now, I say adieu to Audrey Bitoni and Avena Lee. No more Nautica Thorn or Marquetta Jewel. Needless to say….masturbation is going to be a lot more difficult now. Thems the breaks.
Well, this New Year will be a new start for the Deuce. No more being a punk bitch, no more whining about women and no more lotion for non-moisture reasons! Happy New Year, fools!
I will TRY to be back up on Sunday for the Year End Chachi Omnibus and on Monday for the Year End Countdown Extravaganza. New Tuesday will also be the first Doucheology as we prepare for the biggest Douchebrawl yet! Stay up and stay tuned!
What’s up people! It is a day early because of the weekend schedule but you know what it is time for….
Chachi’s Top 20 Video Countdown!!!!
We begin with the newest video from a Countdown “Legend”…
20. John Legend – Show Me (New Entry)
YES! New John Legend! John is back just before the end of the year with a touching video about poverty around the world. The video is simple, just following the life of a young boy in his world but it is very good. The song isn’t as relevant to the video as I would like but the message is more important. Awesome stuff! 19. Kanye West feat. T-Pain - GoodLife (Last Week #16) Looks like Kanye was able to hold on to the Top 20 for one more week! He hasn’t released a new video yet, although “Flashing Lights” now looks to be the follow-up to this one. Can’t complain, I like that song. 18. NLT – I Said, She Said (Last Week #19) NLT makes a modest move this week, up one spot in their forst foray on the Countdown. Not seeing much from these guys on an album front but I am not really trying all that hard to find it yet. This song is enough for me. 17. Lupe Fiasco feat Kanye West, Pharrell & Thom Yorke – Us Placers (New Entry)
You know, I was considering finally giving some love to “Superstar” featuring Matthew Santos until I saw this video. All I can say is FUCKING HELLS YES. I thought this had a great opportunity to suck but the song is awesome and the video fits the concept. Expect big things from this video. Albeit it is “unofficial” I don’t care. It rules. 16. Paramore – Misery Business (Last Week #14) Hayley and company fall two more spots this week and inch closer to falling off the mountain completely. They have another video on here and along with Alicia Keys and NaNa, they are the only artist playing double duty this week. 15. Alicia Keys – No One (Last Week #12, Five Weeks at #1) *SOB* Alicia Keys falls a few more with a video that is competing with UGK and John Legend for the biggest video of 2007. I still love this video because….well she looks damn good. Almost makes me not want to go through with my resolutions this year. SPOILER ALERT!!! 14. Sowelu – Hikari (Last Week #17)
Mmm…..tasty. That is all I will say. Gimmie some of that Sowelu! 13. HIGH AND MIGHTY COLOR – Amazing (Last Week #15) So I just got their Greatest Hits/Best Of compilation which for some asinine reason does NOT HAVE THIS SONG! Either way, their body of work rocks the box so I was cool with that. This song gets a lot of play in the car and the video is being watched in a few minutes. 12. Yuna Ito – Urban Mermaid (Last Week #9) Poor Yuna. She falls out of the Top 10 in half the time it took her to get there. Despite that…she is still my number three behind Alicia and NaNa. Well…and May J but she has transcended love. 11. Snoop Dogg – Sexual Seduction (Last Week #13) Damn it! Never would I think Snoop Dogg would SNIFF the Countdown! Now he is one spot away from being in the Top 10! Well, it is a testament to how bad ass this video is. Makes me want to get some Bootsy Collins and get funky. Well, we made it to the final Top 10 of 2007! 10. Mihimaru GT – I SHOULD BE SO LUCKY (Last Week #10) Mihimaru GT single released on 1/23/2008! YES! Sadly, this video didn’t have the j-pop goodness that was “Gazen Yeah!” and it falls two spots this week. Here is hoping that their new video can get a little bit more awesome to it. 9. Paramore – CrushCrushCrush (Last Week #10)
So Paramore is slowly trying to take the top spot as they move up one place this week. Usually sophomore efforts don’t do as well as the original (sans UVERworld, as their second official video beat out “SHAMROCK” in terms of success) so it will be interesting to see if this video can conquer where “Misery Business” came so close. 8. Abingdon Boys School – Blade Chord (Last Week #11) Three Top 10 videos in one year? Not too shabby! Only TI, Yui and John Legend can say that for 2007 so ABS is some exclusive company! Can they capture their second number one video? 7. One Republic feat. Timbaland – Apologize (Last Week #6) One Republic is slowly moving down this week, falling one spot. I think “Stop and Stare” will be the second video and I have been listening to that one for a good while and I like it. It has no Timbaland so I am not sure how the masses will like it, though. 6. TI feat. AlfaMega & Busta Rhymes - Hurt (Last Week #3) After two weeks as runner up, TI continues his fall down the Countdown, falling out of the Top 5. Oddly enough, he seems to be guest-spotting on every damn song out there a la Lil’ Wayne. Can’t complain about that. The more TI the better. On to the last Top 5 of 2007! 5. NaNa – SHOW GIRL (Last Week #7)
NaNa joins UVERworld, Young Jeezy and Foxxi MisQ as the only artist/group with two videos in the Top Five! Wait, Young Jeezy?! Oh, yeah. The “Top Back Remix” and “I Luv It” earlier this year. Wow….that is pretty exclusive company. Either way, NaNa is officially heating up the Countdown this cold ass day and ends 2007 as arguably the biggest artist going in to 2008. Almost a lock for Artist of the Year. 4. Alicia Keys – Like You’ll Never See Me Again (Last Week #5) Not quite! If Alicia can keep this run going, NaNa has some competition next year! This mini-movie moves closer to giving her the second number one video from her latest album. Oh…and she is fine as hell. We are down to the biggest three videos of this last week of the 2K7! 3. May J. – Do Tha, Do Tha (Last Week #4)
May J barely made it, but she has her second Top 3 video of 2007! It has been over 9 months since she has been this high and here is hoping she can top the three weeks she spent at number two and take the crown! Dare I say….the biggest album of 2008 (it was released after the December 1st cutoff)? Maybe! We are down to two! 2. Asian Kung-Fu Generation – After Dark (Last Week #2)
In a shocker, The Fu is held from the top spot for the second week in a row! NO NEW BLEACH UNTIL THE 9TH OF JANUARY?! BULLSHIT! Eh, I can wait. I waited for sex (that hasn’t happened in the biblical sense) so I can wait for Bleach. This video is still awesome although I guess missing them for this long made me want something new right now. Gimmie more! Well, the top of the chart looks the same as it has for the last month or so…. 1. NaNa – Movin’ On (Last Week #1, Five Weeks at #1)
FIVE WEEKS! NaNa has tied Alicia Keys for the second longest running Number One of 2007 and the second longest run by a female artist! This video is STILL bangin even with her new video creeping up behind! She is heading for a pretty dominant 2008 if she keeps this up! Congrats on five weeks at the top!
That is all for this year! Tune in next Friday for the first Top 20 Video Countdown of 2008! Can NaNa begin the New Year where she ended the last by looking down at the competition? Or will the Asian Kung Fu Generation FINALLY take the crown for themselves and Bleach opening themes? Or can May J finally put her fine self at the top and make a run for the Queen of the Countdown? Look out for Alicia Keys and NaNa’s OTHER VIDEO in the Top 5. Look out for Abingdon Boys School as they hold it down for the men! See you next week!
Well, enjoy the New Year peeps! I will be back on either Friday or Saturday for my New Years Resolutions’ post and then on Sunday or Monday for my Year End Omnibus (I haven’t even started working on it yet. Fuuuuuuck). I need a window because I am far behind on the blog. Don’t worry, I will be caught up by the end of the month.
So let me get this straight: iTunes is supposed to be SOOOOO much easier to use and a better solution than Windows Media Player 10. Its supposed to be compatible with Windows Vista and make my playing of music SOOOO much fucking easier. So why IN THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO DOWNLOAD A FUCKING PATCH SO I CAN ACTUALLY RUN MY MOTHERFUCKING SYSTEM?!
Fuck Apple. Fuck them in their fucking heads. For about two months I thought that I was leaking memory when it seems that iTunes has been fucking with my Internet Explorer, Windows Media Player, Winamp, ALL OF MY CODECS and of course my operating system as a whole because my iPod just cant be seen as a generic hard drive because it is from FUCKING APPLE! What kind of sense does that make? By doing all of that and making a piece of proprietary hardware that is designed to work with a Mac yet trying to make it work on a PC it makes it nigh difficult to use. Half the time it doesn’t update even after I add songs two or three times. It all of a sudden just shuts the fuck down in the middle of searching for a song (when not plugged in, mind you) and this is my favorite: it actually crashed my Internet Explorer. Seriously, when I update my playlist and try to run IE, my IE will not right click and half of the toolbar is missing. My resources show plenty of memory left but I can’t even open My Computer. As soon as I un-dock my iPod, Jesus reach-arounds my computer or something because magically it FUCKING WORKS!
I swear on everything my next MP3 player is a fucking Zune. That thing licks more ass than (sadly) Jasmine Byrne but at least it’s not an Apple product and it fucking works with Windows. Supposedly, anyway. Before you start spewing off about how it is easy to run iTunes on a Mac and maybe I should switch rememeber this:
COMPATIBILITY
Apple says it is compatible with Vista. Guess what, unless you download a patch that only PARTLY FIXES THE PROBLEM then it isn’t. How can so many companies have drivers that work on PC’s and that white piece of shit called a Mac but I can’t update my iPod without crashing my fucking interface? They are bold faced liars. Instead of focusing on updating the hardware with more shit that people don’t need and trying to lure away the moron PC buyers while alienating your hardcore base, try making the basic shit work for those of us who got our iPod’s at 70% off of list and use it because it USED to be easy to work with. What is EVEN BETTER is that I am forced to install QuickTime with iTunes STILL TO THIS MOTHERFUCKING DAY! You know how many QuickTime files I have? One, and that bitch has never worked. Sucks because I really like AAA’s music videos but I downloaded it in a MPEG and that shit works awesome. I only have iTunes for my fucking iPod, I don’t need or want your shitty ass player. Which by the way, always wants to play every file just to say that it can’t fucking play it. Even better, I just saw what happened to someone that upgraded to the new iTunes:
Way to “just work” fucky. I am so not looking forward to this shit. Let me just have iTunes, you brain-dead pricks…that works. Just a caveat. Microsoft may suck, but at least it works at a 75%-80% clip and does what I want to do. At least Microsoft isn’t illegal in some companies.
It is official….Macs are the Mormons of the computer world. They look nice enough and seem to be a refreshing change from your run of the mill fucktard Christians but in the end, they suck JUST AS MUCH as Christians because their books and thought process are just as stupid but they try to convince you it’s a better way. And it costs more to be a Mormon, too.
Oh, they are also money grubbing fuckers:
You fuck over non-Mac users AND artists? To Urge I go!
