What is up, peeps! It is Tuesday and today is the greatest day EVER! I got two packs of Twizzlers for the price of one at the vending machine and I found $20 in my car the other day! And if you haven’t heard, the Duece is officially going next gen! My X-Box 360 Elite should be here today or tomorrow! Since all I have is coming with it is Gears of War, some games need to be bought on Friday and then it is an X-BOX 360 PART-EEE!! Bring chips, I will supply the punch and pie.
So I am late in my Black people rants (I wanted to do it during Black History Month, but since February sucks enough by itself I decided against it) but I have received a lot of material in the last few months that it has become way to easy. So I would say the ratio of my rants about women being crazy to men being stupid is about 3:1 or so. Mainly because I am a jaded, broken man that needs time to vent. However, my stance on women has become more pointed and direct rather than broad stroked as it was for about a year after college until about….shit January?
Anyway, I have had several discussions with a friend of mine (Hi, Kandice! Now…seven people know who you are!) about how men suck and women are stupid. Now I have given testimonials and irrefutable evidence of how women function on an illogical process of “All the power with none of the responsibility.” However, the question is what makes them like that? Well, I have proven that how they are brought up is a huge reason why a majority are like that (some mothers that teach daughters poorly about what men are, some fathers that don’t teach their daughters PERIOD, society and of course THE MEDIA) but the real reason is simple:
MEN ARE FUCKTARDS
There, I said it. This isn’t an attempt to apologize for what I have said in the past because I have proven that women are succubi several times. However, the a major catalyst for their stupidity and irrational and illogical actions are the fact that a GREAT MAJORITY OF MEN MAKE THEM THAT WAY! I have had to sit back for the last…shit 10 years or so and listen to my female friends complain, bitch and cry about how their boyfriends (and in some cases husbands which makes me uncomfortable like nothing else) treat them like crap and don’t address their concerns or feelings. After listening for a while I lost pity on them because they all said the same thing when I said ‘Well then quit putting up with it and leave!’
‘But we have so much history!’
First, Zach put down the gun. Put it down, we can shoot people later! I have a point to make. This puts it all in a nutshell. Jerks treat women like shit because they can. You see, women crave attention. It is true, don’t deny it. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter what KIND of attention it is. So if a man shows jealousy or is constantly letting you cause drama some women stay because they see that as growth of a relationship rather than a total regression to like the first grade. I have yet to completely grasp why women stay with jerks for so long but I guess it is stability. Wait, jerks don’t have jobs. They bum off their girlfriends and borrow their cars; that’s what makes them jerks. Wait, jerks cheat, don’t pay attention, treat them like idiots and verbally and even physically abuse (Yeah, when I heard about shit like that it made me want to regulate. Lo Pan style) women. So what makes them stay?
I know I say that I joke about everything, and domestic abuse is no exception (In old country, to beat is to love!). So lets put this into perspective. The first thing is that unless he is a total fucktard, no man is a joke from the beginning of a relationship. I have seen some where the dude is just a jerk from jump street and it is sad because some women just accept it as normal. A man will start off as normal and nice, but after a few weeks he may show some jerk qualities. At that point, women don’t do anything about it (questioning why he hasn’t called in three days or why he never answers the phone when it rings. Sounds intrusive but we are at war, some civil liberties need to be violated to keep us safe) and all of a sudden you have been dating a dude for five plus years that is constantly ignoring you and when he isn’t ignoring you he is treating you like shit. Congratulations, you have just been Jerk’d.
At this point a woman either leaves him in a HUGE huff and a chip on her shoulder only to see that he has a new woman in less than two weeks. He was SO cheating on you and you let it slide! Or even WORSE he leaves YOU and makes it seem like it was your fault (‘You are being possessive’ or ‘Its just not working’) AND gets another woman to boot (usually uglier, which TOTALLY pisses you off) while you go on a ‘I don’t need no man!’ trip and live like Samantha and Carrie from Sex in the City. Guess what? You know why they rarely found love? BECAUSE THEY LIVED LIKE FUCKTARD MEN! So when you go out and you live like a fucktard, you find a fucktard. Then you get your heart broken again and again by the same type of man over and over until you are ruined and hate men altogether. Congratulations, ladies. You have been Jerk’d.
I have taken women to task for letting this happen several times. The fact is that the reason this happens is that men treat them this way. With women outnumbering men slightly and the majority of men (you know what, after being on the frontlines of this for about 5-8 years, I can say about 70%, if not 75% of men treat women poorly in some way shape or form) being idiots and jerks I can see why women are disheartened by the situation of being single. For years either they or their friends have been used, abused and all around screwed over by men. I always say being screwed over is a two party system but the fact is that it shouldn’t begin in the first place.
The majority of men that are screwing over women are making those in the minority look REAL bad. It is like slaves that knew how to read. Other slaves didn’t like them because they weren’t happy in the field being a slave (women) and whites didn’t like them because they were trying to change the ‘natural order’ of things (jerks). That analogy makes sense if you think about it, albeit rather offensive. You see, the majority of men are all about trying to get sex from women. It has been like that for a long time. Women have been ingrained since…birth that this is the case from their mothers, television, music, movies and society as a whole. Now as a man if your main goal is NOT to have sex with a woman, you are the exception not the norm and rules are made for the norm. Therefore to a woman, you must be lying and trying to get in her pants. So either way, no matter what you do, you are vilified just as much if not MORE than a jerk because they think you are a liar and a cheat and if Oprah said it, it must be true.
On the other side of the spectrum is the jerk. Now, I have had this discussion with jerks several times and when you say that you aren’t about sex they look at you like you broke the Code of Silence. Like you came out of the closet in a foxhole during heavy enemy fire. So then other men think something is wrong with you because you don’t think just like them. It is fucking irritating. The majority of jerks buy Axe body wash and Tag body spray because they believe that women really come running if you wear it. I’m serious, they BELIEVE the commercials! I have heard them talk to the opposite sex and it is just…just wrong. Now I honestly believe that the term ‘game’ is really just ‘lies and bullshit.’ I have heard what constitutes as ‘game’ and the majority of it is ripped off from rappers/comedians/date movies/pick-up line books. Hell, after about 10 seconds it usually breaks into the ‘Wah wah wah wah wahwahwah’ from Charlie Brown so I wonder if women really listen (I have heard yes and no from different sources) or if the whole ‘a woman knows whether she is going to have sex with you blah blah blah yakkity smackity’ thing is true. If so, it explains a LOT of divorces and break-ups. Because of this, having an actual conversation is hard because women expect a ‘Shawty, can I buy yo draaaaaank?’ rather than ‘So how do you feel the geopolitical climate in Ghana effects the continent of Africa?’ What can I say….I is lame.
Finally, jerks have not only killed conversation they have lowered the expectations. From what I have gathered, women expect so little from men that when you display any form of not being ‘derrrrp!’ they get rather confused. Men have come off over the years as being so sex-crazed, boob-obsessed, chest-thumping, sports-worshiping, woman-clubbing troglodytes that when you aren’t like that…they think something is wrong with you and that you are (once again) lying and TOTALLY want to get in their pants or that you are gay. Let me tell you something ladies…that would just be devine! Wouldn’t it be delightful if the reason I have so many problems with women is because I am a homosexual? Yeah…sadly it aint that easy. As my love for Yuna Ito has proven…I loves the ladies but the ladies don’t love me. It’s….a conundrum.
Now I am not going to sit here and give anyone tips on how to get a woman because I totally SUCK at it. I can teach you how NOT to get one or how to lose one. That’s where I’m a Viking! Even still, I think that the majority of fucktards are ruining it for the minority that just want to be normal. By screwing over women and treating them like crap (Even though we can all agree, deep down it is what they want. Hell, I’ve gone BACK to women to be treated like crap! It replaces the need for love!) you mess it up for all of us. The simple fact is that women do stupid things to normal guys for dick moves made by a jerk. Now you have a set of jaded men that seem like jerks but are just like you: frickin pissed off because they were hurt. See, men and women aint so different. I leave you with this:
“Inside Every Jaded Man…Is A Broken Heart”
A spin on what Skinnerman told me once. He was a conflicted genius sometimes. What’s wrong, peeps? That last post was a downer, you say? Well, here is something for the non-jerk demographic to view. Jerks don’t come here, they don’t know how to read. Turn off the sound and gaze at the hawtness that is Nami Uehara:
Is nice. She really…really can’t sing. However, she is quite the beautiful young lady. Man, I AM going to end up with an Asian woman. Yeah, I guess I am part of the reason that 70% of Black women are single. In my defense, they wouldn’t want a slice of this mancake anyway. I’m just wasting my flava! DAMN! Just going to waste on the shelf like so many cans of Crystal Pepsi or copies of Jay-Z’s Kingdom Come. Anyway, I will be back soon. Stay up, peeps.
Chachi Out.
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