FEEL THE POWER OF CHACHI-MANIA!!

Morning peeps! Yes, it is mid-week and mid-day but hey I gotta make sure I keep in contact with those that made me who I am. Not saying that's a good thing because I'm FUCKED UP but thems the breaks. It seems the world has slowed down since the Super Bowl ended (or Peyton Bowl 2007) and it is a weird lull until baseball season starts. Which is like to-fucking-morrow or something. There is one thing that is going on this time of year that I am always interested in no matter how crappy it ends up being. WRESLEMANIA!!! Yes, I am kind of a pro wrestling fan. Although it's suckitude is rather high in the last few years with no Rock, Austin or Foley it has its moments. And with the force feeding of Batista (who will odds are end The Undertakers 14-0 record at Wrestlemania this year which SUCKS because he is a shitty performer) and John Cena (who should not be champ. They should have kept it on Edge and had the change at WMXXIII but that is why I’m not booking. At least he gets to beat Shawn Michaels. The more that prick gets beat the better) it doesn’t look like it is gonna get any better.

It is sad because there are a lot of guys I would watch as contenders or champion (Mr. Kennedy has grown as me, and don’t even get me started on the awesomeness that is Edge) and yet they stick with the most TALENTLESS ASSHATS as belt holders. Yes, I know Cena has improved but he still sucks. Batista can’t have a good match unless HHH or Mr. Kennedy carry him and despite his impressive physique, Lashley STILL looks bigger than him. As someone who was a huge wrestling fan in the mid/late 80’s up until like 1998 it pisses me off to see the way this looks now. Remember back when we had Hogan, Randy Savage and The Ultimate Warrior (worth watching just to hear his interviews)

WHOA....O_0

Don’t even get me started on Bret Hart. He was the ONLY reason I watched wrestling until 1998 anyway. Combine that the guilty pleasure that was Japanese wrestling (which RULES ALL. I like that more that UFC and MMA solely because those men put it down) and wrestling was actually entertaining.

So to look back to the days of my youth, today’s post will be one of my favorite wrestling match of ALL TIME! Yeah, I have enough experience to do this. I beat WWF Superstars in the arcade with Hacksaw Jim Duggan and The Big Bossman. NO ONE CAN CLAIM THAT!! I also beat The Undertaker on hard in Wrestlemania 2000 for the N64, and that shit is hardcore. Like fighting a bear with a plastic mallet covered in honey.

I have the distinction of only buy one pay-per-view and it being canned as one of the worst EVER. Wrestlemania 13 SUCKED but had the Bret Hart (w00t!!!1!) vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin ‘I Quit Match’ which made up for the rest of the show and justified my purchase to see that bad boy live.

Wrestlemania 13: 3/23/1997
Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin
I Quit Match

God, the ending of that match STILL KICKS ASS! No one tells a story in the ring like Bret Hart and before Austin became Robocop with the two knee braces and neck surgeries he could kick ass like no ones business. This match MADE Austin and kind of ended Bret as he was losing his spot in the company TO Austin and was cool with that but Shawn ‘The Fucktard Kid’ Michaels wanted to be the guy that made him and we all saw how that worked out in Montreal. Just Google ‘Montreal Screwjob’ if you are interested. You odds are will have to wade through some porn but it is an interesting story. It is why I can’t stand Vince McMahon to this day.

These two kicked the SHIT out of each other and despite the violent nature of the match were actually pretty good friends outside of the ring. Bret gets a bad rap for the last few years of his career and had some bad breaks (the concussion, the stroke) but he carried the WWF from about 1992 until 1995-ish when Vince wanted Shawn to be the next big thing, even though there was a pretty quiet majority that still felt he was the guy. But the Gutten-something Effect says teenage girls screaming will multiply and that was that. Austin meanwhile (along with THE ROCK, not Triple H) carried the WWF to the high times in 1999-2001. We know what The Rock is doing now after his success but I always felt Austin (when healthy) put on a better match. Nowhere near as entertaining as The Great One (no one is or ever will be) but the matches were better. Compare his matches with Mick Foley to The Rock’s and you will see a huge difference. And Austin was a cripple.

Back to the match. This was the second in a series of three (Bret won the first one at the Survivor Series in 1996) matches that was to end at Wrestlemania 13 with Austin returning the favor and winning the belt from him. Yeah, that didn’t work out. A third match would have ruled all IMHO but we will never know. This is one of the few matches I can watch without fast forwarding through the dead parts. It’s like an album you don’t want to skip a track on. That good. I know none of the people that read this on MySpace are wrestling fans (rightfully so, it kind of sucks now except for Samoa Joe and that is more by default. Oh, and Cryme Time rules. Racism can be funny!) but hey, my blog my rules. Besides, learning is fun. Except for the Turks because of their tiny, tiny brains. Oh yeah, I went there.

Time to go back to watching Venture Brothers. He is a bit of the Swedish killing machine…

Funniest moment of 2006. Bar none. Well, I will be back tomorrow with Doucheology and will try to have current brackets up this weekend. Also, I am changing the bracket set date to 2/16/2007 to give a full six days of office pools and water cooler talk about who will win this year! Also I get paid that day so you know what that means. SLUMBER PARTAYYYYY!

Stay up, peeps.

Chachi Out